I don't own Digimon or the Loud House.
Welcome back to another chapter. This one took a bit longer to write since I had been emotionally drained at the end of the last one. It was a topic that I honestly never wrote about and have fortunately never experienced. I tried to write it in a way to make it both have an impact and also not offend anyone. And I think I might've succeeded.
This chapter continues where we left off and we see the aftermath and how they deal with it. This chapter will be focusing on Leni and the next we will see what Lori has been up to since the whole ordeal has been going on. We're going to get a short reprieve from battles in the upcoming chapters as we see what develops between the heroes of our story. Several things will come to a head and then Lincoln will get one hell of a surprise. But until then enjoy!
The Digi-Loud Adventure
Chapter 37:The Two Lenis
Do you hear that?
Leni tried to ignore Not-Leni's voice as she let Clyde and Luna clean and bandage her hands.
Lincoln is crying and it's all because you weren't even smart enough to kill yourself properly. You can't do anything right.
Leni bit back a sob as she heard Not-Leni's voice. She was right thought, Leni couldn't do anything right. She couldn't protect her friends, all she ended up doing was get in the way and get them killed. Lenny and Lyle, they died protecting her and all they asked was for her to run. She should've listened to them.
Ya think?
Leni could feel her lip begin to tremble as tears threaten to spill once more. Everytime that she closed her eyes she could see their faces as they died. She could see the exact moment when their life ended. And the worst part was that they died happy because they were protecting her.
You know, maybe if you wait until they all go to sleep then maybe you can use that sword that Leomon's got on his back.
"Leni, how does that feel?" She heard Luna asked.
Breaking away from her thoughts, Leni looked down at her hands and saw that they had wrapped a bandage around her palms. What was strange for Leni was that she couldn't feel anything. Nothing except her own deep pain and sadness that only worsened as she stared into the eyes of her siblings and friends. They didn't understand why she had done what she did. They didn't understand that she, Leni, and Not-Leni needed to die. It was the only way to stop being Leni. It was the only way to stop the pain.
"It's fine..." Leni muttered. While she was grateful to them for helping her, she knew that she didn't deserve it.
I just came up with a great idea on how you can fuck up next.
Leni shook her head as she tried to block out Not-Leni. She wasn't sure why but Not-Leni wasn't being very nice anymore. Weren't they on the same team?
We were when you wanted to kill yourself. But right now I'm sensing some hesitation within you. Almost like you don't want to kill yourself. Crazy huh?
"Leni, I know that it might not mean much coming from me but killing yourself isn't the answer." Clyde said as he stared down at his own hands. "I know what it's like to feel like you've got no other choice. Like ending it is the only way to escape the pain."
Luna frowned as she stared at the young boy. And Leni couldn't help but listen to him. Neither knew much about Clyde's past and that fact made then both feel terrible that they knew so little about their brother's best friend.
"But trust me when I say that suicide isn't the answer." Clyde reached out and took ahold of her hands as he looked up in her eyes. Leni could see tears in his eyes but they refused to fall. "I...I didn't have the best childhood before my dads adopted me. I...I still have nightmares about it. There are days that seem completely hopeless and like I'd be doing everyone a favor by...by not existing anymore."
Both Leni and Luna were surprised to feel warm tears falling down their cheeks. For Luna, it broke her heart that such a kind hearted and sweet boy had lived such a hard life and she didn't even know. She never even bothered to ask about his life. As for Leni, she felt like Clyde was the only one who understood what she was feeling. She hung onto every word that he said because a part of her, a small part, hoped that he might know a way to not feel so hopeless.
"But you know what helped me see the light when I was surrounded by darkness?" Clyde looked over to where Lincoln was sitting. Leni followed his gaze and saw that her brother had stopped sobbing and was now holding onto Sam. Lynn had gone off into the woods and by the sound of it, she was punching something rather hard. "The day I met Lincoln was the first time that I saw the light. My Dads had wanted me to go trick or treating so that I could have some positive experiences. They wanted me to have fun and be happy after months of therapy didn't seem to be working. I owe a lot to Dr. Lopez but if it wasn't for Lincoln's friendship, I honestly don't think that I would've made any progress at all."
"Dude...Did meeting Lincoln really change that much for you?" Luna asked as she wiped away her tears.
"Yes." Clyde nodded. "I don't think it's a mistake that his crest is also known as the Golden Radiance. Lincoln is like a shining beacon that gives hope to those around him. It's why he has so many friends, because they're drawn to him." He then turned towards Leni. "I don't even want to imagine what losing you would do to him. So please, Leni, for his sake, don't try this again. He needs you more than you know. And I know that you need him too."
"Oh...Clyde..." Leni leaned in and wrapped her arms around the young boy. She shed silent tears as she hugged him for a bit, feeling him return the embrace. "Thank you..."
"Anytime, Leni. If you ever feel like this again, I'm always willing to help you no matter what." Clyde told her.
"And I'll help to, bruh." Luna said as she joined in on the hug.
"Me too."
The three of them turned towards Lincoln and Sam who had come join them. Lincoln's eyes were red and a bit puffy but he seemed to have recovered a bit. He knelt beside his sister and wrapped his arms tightly around Leni.
"I made you a promise, Leni, to always be there for you." Lincoln said, referring to their wedding vows. "So let me be there for you if you need me."
"Lincy..." Leni lost what little control she had left and began to openly sob once more. She knew that she didn't deserve him but the selfish part of her wanted to keep him all for herself.
He doesn't love you.
'Shut up!' Leni shouted in her head.
Time stopped for Leni as she closed her eyes. And when she opened them again she wasn't in the forest with her friends and family. She was standing in her room back home and standing by the closet wearing nothing but a pair of powder blue bra and panties was a blonde girl who looked very familiar. The girl was rummaging through the closest, pulling out outfits before letting them fall to the floor in disgust.
"Ugh, don't you have anything that's wearable in here?" She asked without turning around.
"Who are you?" Leni asked the girl.
The girl scoffed before glancing over her shoulder. "You know who I am. I've only been talking to you for the past 20 minutes."
Gasping, Leni realized who this girl was. "You're Not-Leni!"
"Bingo! Looks like you're not as retarded as everyone thinks you are." Not-Leni said as she pulled out a blue sundress. "Finally, something that looks good! All you have is that shitty green color."
"Hey that's Lori's dress!" Leni said as she raised her finger towards the blond. "You're not supposed to wear that until it's our turn!"
"Wow..." Not-Leni her heard to look at Leni with a mixed look of disgust and disappointment. "You really are retarded, aren't you?"
"No! Lori says that I'm smart!" Leni told her. She knew what being called retarded meant since some mean girls called her that before. But Lori had told her not to let anyone say that she wasn't smart.
Sighing, Not-Leni turned around to fully face Leni. "Lori told you that? The same Lori that made a deal with you to share this dress?"
"Yea, so?" Leni asked, confused as to what Not-Leni was getting at.
"The deal where Lori said that she'd get it on the days that end in 'y' and that you'll get it on the other days?" Not-Leni asked.
"It's so that we can both wear the dress and not fight over it." Leni said but something told her that something wasn't right. For the first time she began to doubt that her sister had had the best intentions when they made that deal.
"Leni, every single day of the year ends in 'y'. So that means that Lori gets to wear the dress whenever she wants and you don't. Ever." Not-Leni explained. There was an undertone of anger in her voice that Leni could hear. And as Leni began to connect the dots, she started to feel her own anger at the unfairness of it all.
"She...she tricked me..." Leni said out loud, almost in disbelief.
"She tricked us." Not-Leni told her. "You and me are two parts of the same whole. Whatever happens to you also happens to me."
"But why would she do that? She's my sister! She's supposed to be my best friend!" Leni asked, her voice growing steadily louder.
"Are you seriously surprised? Look at you! Look at us! Everyone thinks that we're retarded and its all your fault!" Not-Leni said as she threw the dress at Leni's feet. "You're the one that's always in control!"
"What do you mean? I thought you and I were the same?" Leni asked her, clearly confused. "You look just like me."
Not-Leni sighed as she raised a single hand to her forehead. "I forgot I'm speaking to a moron..." She muttered under her breath.
She looked back up to face Leni and with a snap of her fingers, Leni suddenly found herself standing in a dark room with no one around except Not-Leni. Her meaner twin was now dressed in an orange polo shirt that seemed a bit too tight around the chest and a blue mini-skirt.
"I am a part of you, Leni. I'm the part of you that gets angry when someone wrongs us. I'm the part of you that wants to get even when we feel like we have to." Not-Leni began to explain. And as she did, all around them screens began to appear in the darkness showing instances of their past. Leni could see every time that she had ever gotten mad and a few that she had forgotten. "But for so long I've been trapped behind a wall of kindness. Sure, there are times where I do break free and get to influence you enough to act."
A screen appeared showing their battle against Kuwagamon where Leni got mad enough that she chose to fight. Leni could remember feeling really angry that day and if she hadn't then she probably wouldn't have been able to help her sister or friends.
"For the most part I'm kept buried in the back of your mind where I don't even get to see the light of day." Not-Leni continued. "It wasn't until we came to the Digital World that I felt myself growing stronger. Things were happening that your weak mind wasn't able to deal with. And when you finally reached your limit, I broke free from my prison. I can now move around in our mind like I was always meant to."
"But how were you locked away in the first place?" Leni asked her, still somewhat confused over the whole thing.
"I...I don't know..." Not-Leni answered. She seemed confused herself about how she got trapped. "One day I just became aware that I was trapped. I'm not sure why I started to think for myself either."
"If Lisa were she might know why." Leni commented.
"For all we know Lisa's the reason I started to think for myself. I could be the result of one of her experiments." Not-Leni scoffed as she blew her bangs out of her face. "But I'll admit that I somehow doubt she's behind this since I can remember a time before she was even born."
"So why are you talking to me?" Leni asked as she placed a single finger against her chin. "Are you gonna take control from me?"
"As much as I would like to, I can't." Not-Leni said with a frown. "Like I said before, we're two parts of the same whole. I can no more take control of the body as you can. We literally share control because we're one."
"But there's two of us..." Leni said slowly as she tried to understand what Not-Leni was saying.
"Oh my god..." Not-Leni groaned. She could feel a growing migraine and she wasn't even close to being done explaining everything to Leni. She walked up to the blonde airhead and grabbed the front of her dress and pulled her close. "Listen up, you retard, I know that you're smarter than this! You understand more than you know and I know because I'm smarter than you pretend to be! We're LITERALLY the same person!" she began to shake Leni halfway through her rant. "So get this through your empty head! You and I have to work together now until we can figure out how to be one again!"
"I'm...sssssorrryyyy..." Leni said as she was being shaken.
Seeing that Leni still wasn't getting it, Not-Leni sighed. "We're like totes a pair of shoes that got seperated and we gotta find each other again to be a complete set." Not-Leni said in a defeated tone.
"Oh, why didn't you say so!" Leni said as she finally understood. "If we gotta find each other again then I totes know who can help us!"
"Is it Lincoln?" Not-Leni asked, already know that it was.
"Yup! Lincy's the best! I'm sure that if we ask him that he'll know what to do." Leni said with a large smile.
"That's another thing that we have to talk about sometime." Not-Leni said as she let go of her twin. "Your feelings for our brother."
"What about them?"
"We'll talk about it later. For now, just remember that we have to work together. As much as I don't like you, until we can become one again I have no choice but to tolerate you." Not-Leni said.
"But why don't you like me?" Leni asked, confused. Weren't they the same person?
"I don't like you because there's a part of you that even you don't like about yourself. In other words, you hate yourself and I got stuck with that part." Not-Leni explained. "So yea, I hate you. Not much I can do about that until we stop hating you."
"My head hurts..." Leni complained as she held her hands to the side of her head.
"Yea, that one hurt me too." Not-Leni admitted. "All this head case stuff is giving me a headache. Suffice to say that you've got a roommate up here who's cranky all the time."
"How do I go back?" Leni asked.
"Just say so and you'll be back at the exact moment that you were." Not-Leni said. "But before you go, remember this: Lori's getting a bitch slap for that stunt she pulled with the dress."
Before Leni could respond she found herself blinking as she held onto her brother. It seemed that no time had passed since she started talking to her meaner twin. But as she held onto her brother, a part of her wondered if she should tell him about Not-Leni being in her head. After all, wasn't hearing voices in your head a bad thing?
Hearing voices means that you're crazy. At least, that's what the voice in my head tells me.
Leni could hear Not-Leni laughing in the back of her head and she decided that she would talk to Lincoln later when they were alone. She didn't want the others to think that she was crazy.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
That night when they were about to sleep, Lynn had walked over to Leni and slapped her for attempting to take her own life. Afterwards she gave her a bone crushing hug before running off with her partner to presumably cry in the woods. Clyde had decided to follow her in order to keep her company. After interrogating Fugamon, Leomon went off towards Primary Village to warn Jijimon about what he had learned. There was going to be an attack on Primary Village but they didn't know when. Ogremon agreed to join them and left to gather the rest of his tribe in order to aid them. But he left Lex behind in order for him to look after Leni.
But despite such a long day, after being emotionally drained and tired, Leni stayed up as she waited to be able to talk to her brother. They had walked several hours in order to try and do something to get their minds off of what had happened. And someone stayed with Leni at all times. She wasn't aloud to be alone anymore and she understood why.
Because you're crazy?
'You're not helping, you know!' Leni thought angrily after Not-Leni said she was crazy.
I'm not trying to be helpful yet...
Choosing to ignore her, Leni waited until Luna and Sam fell asleep in order to try and talk to Lincoln. The boy had volunteered to take first watch alongside Lex, who would only sleep when Leni did.
"Um...Lincy?" Leni asked, not being able to help sounding shy and timid as she spoke. "C-Can I talk to you?"
Lincoln turned towards her gave her a weak smile. "Of course, Leni..."
Leni led her brother towards the edge of the makeshift camp that they made. Once they were far enough away Leni turned towards Lincoln. She tried to look him in the eyes but she didn't think she could face him. She wrung her hands in front of her as she tried to muster up the courage to speak. As she fought with herself (Not-Leni was surprisingly quiet), Leni felt a gentle hand being placed her her shoulder.
"It's okay, Leni I'm here for you." Lincoln told her.
Tears started swelling in her eyes as she looked into the warm blue eyes of her brother. "Oh Lincy..." she sniffed. Leni pulled her brother into a hug before she started to sob.
"It's okay, Leni, it's okay..." Lincoln comforted his sister for several moments. As he held her in his arms, Lincoln couldn't help but feel responsible for her. He was supposed to protect her and he failed. He shouldn't have split the group up, especially considering how dangerous his own mission went. Not only that but he had failed his vows...
"Lincy, I'm so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" Leni cried. "I'm sorry that I tried to...tried to..." but Leni couldn't say it. She felt ashamed because her actions hurt the one she loved most.
And you should be ashamed. And surprisingly, Leni could feel Not-Leni's anger. How dare you hurt him!?
Leni gasped as she felt a rising anger the likes of which she had never felt before spawn from her chest. It spread like wildfire up her chest, over her shoulders and neck, and it made her head feel like it was on fire. But almost as quickly as it appeared, Leni felt a cool wave of peace wash over her as Lincoln reached up and placed his hand on her cheek. She could feel Not-Leni almost purr as they leaned into his touch, savoring it.
"Leni...I won't say that it's okay...what you did..." Lincoln had a look in his eyes that almost made Leni cry again but he forced it out and he gave her a warm smile full of love. "I love you...more than you will ever know..." Both Leni and Not-Leni felt as if their body would melt on the spot as their heart began to beat a million miles a second and their whole body began to warm up. "So whatever is on your mind...please...come to me for help. I'll always be here for you..."
"E-Even if I'm crazy?" Leni asked as she summoned all of her courage. "You promise?"
"You're not crazy, Leni." Lincoln promised.
"I...I can hear a voice in my head..." Leni confessed. She looked away from him because she couldn't bear to see him look at her with disgust.
But Lincoln gently guided her gaze back towards him. "What kind of voice?" He asked calmly. He looked like he wanted to understand and both Leni and Not-Leni felt their love for the white haired Loud grow beyond what they thought was possible.
Leni explained everything that she knew about Not-Leni and how they could talk to each other. She didn't hold anything back, not even the part where Not-Leni said that there was a part of themselves that even Leni hated. All throughout the explanation, Not-Leni would say things and Leni would tell Lincoln about them. And they could tell that Lincoln believed them. After all, their Lincy was smart.
"And she doesn't have control of you?" Lincoln asked once she was done explaining.
No, we're the same person. All I can really do right now is influence your emotions. It's more like we can share control...I think.
Leni shook her head. "No, she says that she doesn't. She said something about only being able to make me feel things. And she thinks that we share control."
"Hmm..." Lincoln rubbed his chin in thought as he paced back and forth. He didn't believe his sister was crazy. No, this seemed more like a case of split personality but something was off. Could it be that the trauma she suffered in the Digital World was the cause for this to happen? To Lincoln it seemed like Leni developed a way to cope with her trauma by creating Not-Leni. After all, she had attempted to...
Shaking his head, Lincoln sighed. But the way Leni described Not-Leni it seemed more like she was a real person within Leni. A part of him was worried that Not-Leni would take over Leni and make her do something dangerous. Yet could it be possible that his sister was crazy? No, he couldn't accept it. There had to be a way to test it.
"Leni, is there a way for you to let me talk to Not-Leni directly?" Lincoln asked. He wanted to see if Not-Leni could actually take control. Leni said that they're supposed to share control now that she was self-aware. And if she could take control then Lincoln wanted to make sure for himself that she wasn't dangerous.
"Um...I don't know..." Leni said as she turned to her left.
'Can you talk to Lincy?' she thought in her mind.
I don't know...try thinking that you want me to take control for a little bit.
'I'll try...'
Leni closed her eyes and pictured herself back in their room. She could see Not-Leni standing by the door and as she got close, she reached out and placed her hand on Not-Leni's chest.
Lincoln watched as his sister seemed to be having a conversation with herself before her whole body went stiff. It only happened for a brief moment before her stance completely changed. Gone was the happy, bubbly, airheaded sister that he had known all his life. Standing before him was a woman who knew what she wanted and went for it. And as she turned to face him, she gave him a look that he'd seen wolves give their prey before pouncing. Despite this being his sister's face, Lincoln had never seen that look in her eyes and it unnerved him a bit.
"Hey, Lincy~" Not-Leni purred as she placed on hand on her hip and the other was held in front of her with the back of her palm resting on her chin. Somehow the strap of her dress had become loose on her left and it hung on her arm, giving her an incredibly sexy look. She then walked ever so slowly towards him, swaying her hips and making Lincoln see the curves of his sister's body that he normally couldn't see from her normal walk. Once she was close, she leaned down and wrapped her arms around his head so that they were face to face. "You wanted to talk?"
Lincoln fought hard to gulp as his throat had gone dry. Whoever this was it was clearly not his sister. No one had ever tried to seduce him and needless to say that it was working rather well. He suddenly felt like he was an inexperienced boy with nothing good enough to say to someone as sexy as her. But he fought all that in order to talk to her because he had to get to the bottom of this.
"Y-Yes!" Lincoln said, wincing as his voice rose an octave. Clearing his throat, he continued. "I wanted to ask you a few questions if you don't mind?"
"Oh...I don't mind~" she said with a half lidded expression. She licked her lips as she stared down at his before returning to look at his eyes.
"H-How is it that you came to be?" Lincoln asked.
Not-Leni shrugged. "I don't know...but I suspect that it has to do with being in the Digiworld."
Lincoln noticed that Not-Leni spoke differently than his sister. Their speech patterns greatly differed and that reinforced that this definitely wasn't his sister.
"Are you planning to hurt Leni? Or yourself?" Lincoln asked.
Not-Leni frowned for a moment before she glared at him, though she didn't remove her arms or back away. "I might hate her but even I know that if she dies then so do I. But more importantly, I would never do anything to hurt you, Lincy."
"May I ask why?" Lincoln asked her. He noticed the way that she added such strong emphasis on the word 'never.'
"Because, Lincy~" Not-Leni said as her former half lidded expression returned. "I love you..."
She then did something that both Leni and Lincoln were shocked by. She placed a hand behind his head and then closed the distance between them. Lincoln's eyes widened like saucers as he felt her press her lips against his. And as he opened his mouth to protest, she stuck her tongue inside. He could feel her exploring the inside as she completely dominated him. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. And much to his shame, he didn't want to.
After a few moments, Not-Leni pulled away and panted as she regained her breath. She was red in the face, same as him but she was also smiling at him with a very satisfied expression.
"Well, Lincy~ Did you enjoy that?" She asked him with the same half lidded expression. "I know I did~"
"Bah. Bah. Bah." Lincoln literally couldn't speak as he felt like his mind was fried. He could only stare wide eyed at the form of his sister as Not-Leni rose back to her full height.
Placing her hands on her hips, she licked her lips once more. "You're very tasty, my dear Lincy~" She purred. "I can't wait until our Honeymoon~"
And with that last word, Leni's body slacked a bit before she shook her head and looked around. And as she locked eyes with her brother, Leni's face began to heat up as she remembered what Not-Leni had just done. But more importantly, she felt like someone had stolen what was hers and that simply couldn't stand!
"Lincy, please don't forget about our vows!" Leni said as she placed her hands on the side of his head. "Your kisses belong to me..."
And for the second time that night, Lincoln found himself being kissed by a beautiful blond. And as Leni deepened the kiss, Lincoln heard someone gasp loudly from somewhere nearby.
"Leni, what the HELL!?"
End of chapter.
Who do you think saw them? And what do you think is going to happen next? I'll try to update as soon as I can but the next update probably won't be until new years. Hope you all enjoy the holidays. Till next time.