Oblivion

Chapter Thirty-Four

EPIPHANIES

SONGS!

"People Like Us" by Kelly Clarkson (Sango's about to get schooled and I for one am ready for it)

"Liar" by Camila Cabello (INUKAG INUKAG INUKAG MWAHAHAHAHA)

"If You Could Only See" by Tonic (this is for Inuyasha because he is such a devoted wonderful boi and in this house we STAN)

"The Promise" by Tracy Chapman (FUCK IT ANOTHER INUKAG SONG YESSSSS)

The vicious, hateful look on Sango's face seemed to at least unnerve Nazuna, but even though the young girl shuffled from foot to foot and was clearly trying to avoid making eye contact, the magical vice that bound Sango's limbs so unyieldingly never once faltered.

After several minutes of tense silence, Sango changed tactics.

"So you've got powers, too," she growled, "I take it you got yours from fornicating with a youkai monster as well?"

Nazuna's head snapped up to look at her, eyes wide and shocked.

That got your attention, didn't it? Sango thought with a cruel satisfaction.

If she could slice deep enough with her words, maybe Nazuna would lose her concentration, and maybe it would be long enough for Sango to make her move…

"I - " Nazuna stammered, her eyes darting this way and that with clear discomfort. Her face was turning pink.

Still, the prison around Sango didn't waver.

"Do you think you were chosen too? Do you think you're part of some holy bloodline, that your proclivity toward demons is a gift from the gods?"

Nazuna kept her hands up, holding the glowing bonds in place, but she was starting to tremble. "Y-Yes," she whispered, looking like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

Good, Sango thought to herself, She's getting distracted. She's faltering.

"That old witch spoke of true love, of being misunderstood by the world and overcoming all odds," she said with a cold smirk, "but if the love between a human and a youkai is so pure and natural, then why the hell are you out here hidden away in the forest, and where are your demon lovers to stand by your sides?"

"P-Please," Nazuna said, and her eyes had grown glassy with unshed tears, "Please...stop. I know you're confused and you're angry and you want me to let you go but - but - "

For a moment Sango felt ashamed of herself, ashamed of what she was doing, ashamed of who she was becoming, but stubborn as always, she shook the sobering thoughts from her head and charged on. "If you're so unashamed, why can't you answer my question?"

Nazuna's face crumpled with distress and sorrow, but she bit her lip and emphatically braced her arms outward.

The near-invisible bindings around Sango's body pulsed and tightened to the point of discomfort, but Sango refused to display weakness a second time, refused to even wince.

"Y-You were raised in Lady Kaede's village," Nazuna said softly, casting her eyes downward as her face flushed even darker, "You're one of her people. S-So I understand why you hate youkai, but not all youkai are the monsters you say they are, I swear it, they have feelings and loved ones just like us, and - "

Sango gave a harsh scoff. "Really? Because all I've ever seen from any youkai is bloodlust, bloodlust and violence and murder."

Nazuna flinched a bit at this, but then timidly stuck out her chin. "H-How can you see," she said, and her voice was still wavering but less so, "if you never even thought to look?"

What is this condescending bullshit?

Outraged, Sango spat, "When you lose your entire family to a youkai attack, then I'll be glad to let you lecture me."

"She did."

The voice came from Sango's left side, and both she and Nazuna jumped, then turned to face the speaker.

How long has this woman been standing here?

Sango wasn't sure; she'd been so focused on tearing this young girl to shreds.

Once again, there was a dark flash of shame within her, and for a fleeting moment Miroku's face popped into her mind, and all she could think was how glad she was he hadn't heard any of the venomous things she'd said. Miroku was no lover of youkai, but he would have drawn the line at tormenting and insulting someone who was so clearly vulnerable, no matter the circumstances.

Because he's kind and good above all else, and I can try to take the moral high ground all I want but I'm vengeful and cruel and -

"Hello, slayer girl." The newly-arrived woman looked Sango up and down with a neutral expression. "I've been told you attacked these wolves earlier, and that you desperately need answers, whether you agree or not."

"L-Lady Midoriko!" Nazuna cried, smiling gratefully.

Now that Yura was gone and there was no common fury to unite them, Inuyasha had the sobering expectation that now he was going to have to answer for the seductive tug-of-war he'd started with Kagome just minutes before.

But when Kagome moved again, it wasn't to attack him, to give him one of those punches to the face that she'd so fiercely given Yura.

She just approached at his side, curled a small hand into his sleeve, and tugged gently to make him turn and look down at her.

"When I arrived here yesterday," she said, her brows knit together in puzzlement, "You were injured. Severely."

What a mild way to say 'half-dead and out of my fucking mind.'

"Yeah."

"Who - " she began, and then seemed to think better of it. Probably wary of showing anything he could misconstrue as concern.

He answered her anyway.

"Naraku brought me back...that night, and I was here for all of five minutes before Sesshomaru had me thrown in the dungeon."

Kagome slowly turned to look him in the face again. "...You were tortured?" The tone was dubious, and her expression was guarded.

No, no, I don't wanna talk about this, I don't wanna go back -

Back to that frozen, bloodstained room.

Back to that peal of sadistic, girlish laughter that he could still hear with perfect memory.

Back to that horrific sensation of his sanity and his spirit being cleaved into fractions, his full comprehension of it happening, his inability to do anything to stop it…

Inuyasha forced the wall back up in his mind. He felt himself shiver, and he knew Kagome saw it, and he looked up at her, ready to try and deflect, to change the subject so he wouldn't have to -

Her blue eyes were shining so brightly, and the furrow in her brow had only deepened. It was a look of horror, but not at me, not at me this time…

She was scared for him.

He ran a hand over his face, realizing that there was no helping it, he'd have to at least tell her the bare minimum. But not everything, this is one thing I can't tell the complete truth about, not to her, I can't bear the thought of her knowing - knowing -

Before his thoughts ran away with themselves again, he gestured with his chin at the rumpled bedroll, fighting to keep his tone light and casual, to not betray the fact that his mind, his soul, was screaming warnings that rattled his skull.

"Maybe we'd better sit back down."

The woman standing there before Sango and Nazuna was sweaty and pale with clear exhaustion, but her posture was upright and her mannerisms collected.

She stood there in an ornate formal kimono, similar to the ones Sango and Kagome had been all but forced into just days ago, with her hands clasped together delicately. She reminded Sango of some of the court ladies living at the shogun's palace - never a hair out of place, never a slip of the tongue or a hint of indecorous behavior.

Except this expensive kimono had tied-back sleeves and a dirty, bedraggled hem, and the woman's hands were stained brown with what looked like…

Blood.

But whose?

"Are you alright, milady?" Nazuna asked, and the look she gave the newcomer was nothing short of worshipful. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you outside; Lady Kaede told me to - "

"It's alright, little dove," the woman said softly, her red lips curving into a fond, serene smile, "I'm alright. Just tired, of course."

Nazuna returned the smile, her eyes shining, and right then the magical ropes that bound Sango in place seemed to flicker out of existence.

Sango pounced at the chance, slamming both feet against the ground and flipping herself in a backwards somersault -

"Hmm, no." The woman's voice remained so casual, so conversational, and Sango cursed under her breath as she was seized mid-maneuver and held immobile once more. "Not yet, slayer girl. As Kaede told you, there's more you should know. There's more we must tell you."

"I'm sorry, Lady Midoriko!" Nazuna said fretfully, abandoning her guarded posture and rushing to the regal woman's side. "I shouldn't have - I lost my head for a moment and I might have ruined everything - "

"Don't apologize," Midoriko said gently, "You never have to apologize to me, Nazuna."

Nazuna had been holding Sango in place with both hands and had clearly required intense focus to do so, but Midoriko was now doing the same with one hand, and she was conversing with her young companion as if Sango was the very last thing on her mind.

What kind of power is this? Sango wondered, a chill overtaking her limbs as she stared in terror and wonder.

"Let me see your arms, little dove." Midoriko laid her free hand on Nazuna's shoulder.

Nazuna's face reddened and her tone of voice grew flustered once more. "Oh, milady, please don't trouble yourself; I'll be just fine!"

"You've never been any trouble to me," Midoriko said. The hand on Nazuna's shoulder now raised to cup the young girl's flushed cheek. "Never."

Nazuna visibly swallowed, and she held adoring eyes to Midoriko's face while gingerly pulling up the long sleeves of her plain kimono.

Sango nearly choked on a gasp.

Spiraling patterns of black bruises, curling all around Nazuna's arms, reaching all the way to her shoulders…

Like Kagome's. Just like Kagome's.

Still holding Sango's twisted body in place, Midoriko gave a sympathetic cluck of her tongue and gently waved her other hand over the mottled, darkened skin.

The vines of black faded and disappeared in the span of a blink, and Nazuna visibly sighed with relief, all signs of weariness gone from that youthful face.

"I think the dungeon was initially just to keep me from running back to find you, but yes, Naraku got involved, and soon I got a pretty good notion of what my brother's actual plan for me was."

Inuyasha spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, but Kagome could see how far away his eyes had gone.

It seemed as if the emotional part of his brain had gone away, away to somewhere, and what was left over was automatic and distant. To keep him from reliving the trauma, she realized, and once again there was an annoying pang in her heart despite her thousandth inner declaration that she was done feeling any sympathy for him, done letting his words or actions have any effect on her whatsoever...

"If Naraku assumed the obvious - that Sesshomaru was well and truly done protecting my dumb ass, and that he wanted me punished for fucking everything up so royally - well, he'd have a barrel of laughs sending one of his sick followers to try and break me," he went on, "You can always count on an insane sadist to act like an insane sadist. And Naraku sure didn't disappoint."

Kagome took a shallow breath in, out, tried to erase the concern that she knew was etched all over her face. "Wh-What did he do?"

"Naraku?" Inuyasha blinked, then slowly smirked, his eyes still out of focus, still far away in some safe place. "Directly, not much, besides taunt me a bit about falling so hard for a human girl and insinuate he had some sort of sinister design on your new powers."

He'd mentioned this idea before, or maybe it had been Sesshomaru, but it didn't scare her any less to hear it.

"But then Naraku let the real torture start and...well…" He trailed off, shaking his head no, as if he were telling himself not to go there, that it wasn't smart.

You were still freshly bleeding when I first saw you, she thought. None of your wounds had been allowed to heal.

Inuyasha had been in that dungeon undergoing unspeakable things from the very night he'd parted from her.

Quickly, in her mind, she tried to think - how many days had it been? How many weeks? Her own trauma was still painting a thick haze over the time since that night in Ryusei, skewing her perception of the timeline, but it had to be at least two weeks.

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Maybe a few more, maybe a few less.

Pinning it down like that made it sound like nothing, didn't it? But it seemed like years had passed, and she knew Inuyasha would agree with her on that front.

"It was Yura," she said softly. "Doing the torturing, I mean."

His humorless smile didn't shift a bit, and he nodded.

That answer begot a thousand more questions in her mind, but something - instinct, caution, compassion - gave her pause.

"If Sesshomaru's motive has always been to protect you, from the beginning," Kagome whispered, trying to ignore the pricklings of outrage on Inuyasha's behalf that once again tickled the back of her neck and the fine hairs on her arms, "then how could he allow - "

"You've never been tortured," he interrupted, still with that distant smirk on his face, "And thank the gods for that; I was worried that was what Naraku wanted for you, and I couldn't get out, couldn't do a thing about it...heh, sorry, I was answering your question, wasn't I?

"When you're undergoing something like that for a long time," he went on, raking a hand through that silver-white hair in that vulnerable, sheepish, all-too-familiar gesture, "they're trying to make you talk, to give up information. But if you're lucky, they'll end up feeding you information without even realizing it. Especially if they're someone like Yura - all bloodlust and no sense.

"So when my brother thought enough time had passed that he could be seen to relent without it looking suspicious, he got me out and I told him what I'd picked up on." He lowered his gaze to his hand on his knee, obscuring those hazy golden eyes. "Once I remembered my own name, anyways," he mumbled. The hand slowly curled into a loose fist.

Kagome could objectively understand it, she supposed, but putting herself in Sesshomaru's state of mind was an entirely impossible chore.

That's his brother, how could anything so horrible possibly be seen as worth it?

Without warning, Sota's face popped up in her head, smiling and carefree.

Gods, how long has it been since I thought of Sota, since I let myself think of -

Kagome realized that now her mind, too, was trying to travel to distant places to escape the horrors she was hearing, even places that she had been refusing to go for fear of breaking herself again.

Even thinking of her family - of what they must be going through, of how they must be living in terror on her account every single day that passed - was less frightening than letting herself try to picture Inuyasha's time, at least two weeks fourteen days gods above us, in that dungeon.

But what did she do to you what exactly did she do -

I've watched you grab the tip of a sword and slice your hand open and you didn't flinch didn't even flinch so what could she possibly have done to make you so -

Why was she so certain you can't sleep without seeing her face and why did you react when she said so -

Kagome held her tongue. She wasn't sure if she should ask anything further; he seemed so withdrawn already that pressing him further into that dark place might cause him more harm.

Why do I care if I cause him harm; I said it myself, didn't I, that he deserves all he's gotten and worse?

But now, it would seem, that stubborn defiance she'd clung so tightly to regarding him recoiled back at her like a hard slap to the face, and she felt shame wash over her like a rush of icy water as she sat there and stared at him, took him in entirely.

All that happened...it left him just as broken as it left me, she thought, if not more so because he had to deal with the blame for it…

Here was another point where her rational mind would normally intervene, and reaffirm that all the fucked-up things she'd been through, all the trauma, all the death and destruction, were because of him, and that she owed him nothing, least of all her compassion or her understanding.

And here, again, was silence from that dissenting voice, and Kagome felt herself take a shaky breath as she realized what that meant.

She opened her mouth to speak, unsure of what she would say, of what she could say, but trusting herself to figure it out as she went.

I mean, why not, it's probably how I've managed to survive this long. No forethought, no real plan, just winging it, just barging ahead and hoping for the best. Gods, I'm just as bad as he is, aren't I -

For the first time, there was no self-questioning, no second-guessing, as she braced her arms into the mattress, supported her own weight, and slid herself closer to his side. She moved deliberately, gently, so as not to startle him, because he still was so lost in his own dark thoughts and she could tell by looking at him, just the way she'd always been able to tell what he was thinking, ever since the beginning, the very beginning.

Even when we were apart, even when I swore to hate you, it was your voice inside my head, goading me, teasing me, encouraging me. I always knew exactly what you'd say to me no matter the situation, no matter how I tried to shut you up or drive you from my mind...

Slowly, he raised his head to look over at her, and there was a hesitant confusion on his face.

The knot in Kagome's spine seemed to be gone, just like that, it's gone, and the guarded hunch in her neck and shoulders had also disappeared. She stared up at Inuyasha - he was a good head taller than her even when they were sitting, he always had been, hadn't he - and let herself scan the depths of those amber-gold eyes openly, without any shame, for the very first time.

Beautiful, she thought, letting herself decide and declare it without wanting to mentally flog herself.

Like the brightest treasure. That was what she'd thought the first time she saw them, wasn't it?

She'd long dismissed that flattering description as the terrified observations of someone who thought they were going to die. But she'd been lying. Delusion masked as rationality, and all in the aim of some ridiculous contrition.

I was so blind...so stubborn and foolish…

The dark brows above his beautiful eyes furrowed, and she dimly heard him speak, heard him ask if she was alright. He had to be wondering if she had gone insane.

Kagome's epiphany was too fresh, the sheer relief too loud in her entire being, for her to trust herself to reply just yet. The words would have been gibberish.

All she could do was what felt natural.

Lowering her gaze, she reached out and gently took one of his hands in both of hers.

These calluses on his palm...just as I remember them, she thought, as she let herself trace them with a featherlight caress.

Same long fingers. She laced her own there in the caverns between each digit - it feels like home, doesn't it, she observed with quiet elation, our hands always fit together so perfectly, they always did - gave a single squeeze and released. Then, she singled out his pointer finger, encircling the base of it with three of her own much smaller ones, and delicately trailing her grip upward.

When she reached the claw, there on the tip of his finger, she touched it gingerly with the pad of one digit, and then adjusted her hold and used both her thumbnails to ghost over the smooth, pearlescent surface, feeling herself lean down to get a closer look, to savor the first interaction.

These...well, these are new, I guess.

In her euphoric, relieved state, Kagome had to fight back a giggle.

What poor Inuyasha must think of her right now, she couldn't imagine.

When her almost scientific curiosity about his claws was satisfied (at least for the time being), she held his hand loosely in both of her upturned palms - this hand that always touched me with such care and adoration, even though he knew who he was and who I was and how it would probably end he was always so gentle wasn't he - and raised her gaze slowly.

Not to his eyes again, no, but to the top of his head.

The urge to snatch her hand out and discover those as well was nearly setting her aflame there where she sat, but she made herself pause and glance at his face.

Inuyasha's brow was still knit tightly together; his expression was still completely bewildered.

Kagome wondered for a moment if perhaps she'd gone too far without verbally explaining herself first; such a display of curious affection had probably frightened him. If she herself was marveling at how sudden her entire mindset had shifted - not changed, she knew, but shifted, then Inuyasha was no doubt thrown for a loop. He was probably frantically entertaining every possible explanation in his head - either she really had completely cracked and lost her grip on sanity, or the care and adoration she was showing were just a way for her to torture him a little bit more - to hurt him as she'd been hurt.

The latter, certainly, had been up to this moment Kagome's entire strategy of interaction, her code of behavior to live by, a twisted and vengeful bushido of her own invention, borne of a need to protect herself and keep him from getting past her walls.

Every lie he told, every betrayal...I tallied them all up and I was ready to take my vengeance, to shove a dagger into him and watch the life fade from his eyes, to feel his soul leave this world and take the remainder of my heart's pain and doubt with him...

But it was all for nothing, wasn't it? No matter how I kicked and screamed and fought and tried to scare him away...I was always, always going to let him back in eventually, wasn't I?

Because we're just alike. Both of us impulsive, foolish, brazen. Both of us outsiders, protectors, and hopeless romantics. Both of us eager to play the martyr, too stubborn to tell ourselves the truth - the truth that despite everything, all the trauma and all the bullshit, despite him looking like this…

Gods above me...

Still she was scared to speak, scared that if she tried to put into words just what was happening to her at this moment that she would sound manic and insane; and if she did, it would just raise his guard up, make him retreat out of self-preservation.

So all she could do was give him a smile. Not a full smile, no; once again, that would be too much all at once for him. Just a small, close-lipped smile, and she had to trust the plaintive look in her eyes to do the rest.

It was as if Inuyasha had retreated into those black memories of torture and despair, and come back out into a world that was nowhere near reality.

Am I still trapped in my own twisted mind? Is this some sort of oddly specific fantasy that I'm just now confronting myself with?

But then Kagome looked up from those careful, almost childlike explorations of his hand and the claws at the tips of his fingers, and she purposely met his eyes, stared up at him without any guilt or regret lining her face for only the second time in as many minutes.

And her full lips curled into a soft, almost reassuring smile. A smile he'd never ever thought he'd see again.

I don't understand, what is she - why is she suddenly -

Her blue eyes broke contact to give a hesitant glance at the top of his head, then returned to his, and her smile gave a nervous twitch.

My...ears...she wants to -

Inuyasha felt both of them flick involuntarily, and there was a tight pounding in his chest as he found his ability to move again; his ability to think, to reason, was long since departed.

When he gently withdrew his hand from the cradle she'd made with her two smaller ones, Kagome blinked and glanced down, and then back up at his face. She looked apologetic.

Gods, this can't be real, this is all another dream to torture myself again, isn't it -

Quickly, and without a word, he closed his hand around her right wrist.

Slowly, oh so slowly, to give her time to change her mind, to come to her senses and remember how much she hates me, he guided her hand upward while simultaneously pitching his head downward to give her an easier reach.

She didn't, in fact, change her mind; she didn't even resist his hold. When he felt her small, thin fingers first brush the back of his left ear, he couldn't help but close his eyes.

If she's fucking with me, if she's just trying to get my hopes up and dash them to pieces again, because gods, I know I deserve it...just let me live in delusion for the next few moments, he thought dimly.

He felt all five of her fingers ghost across his white fur, and his ear twitched again at the sensation. Then he felt her thumb and pointer finger gently grip the ear itself, and he had to fight back a pleasured groan; he couldn't make a sound right now because that would surely ruin it, would surely snap her back to her senses, wouldn't it?

But then he heard her posture shift beside him, and he opened his eyes questioningly.

Kagome had drawn herself up onto her knees and had inched even closer, so close that her chin was nearly resting on his left shoulder now, and she was looking up at his ears as she continued to run her fingers over and around them, and -

And -

Her eyes were shining with fascination. Not fear, not revulsion, just a quiet, mild fascination. It was as if -

As if nothing horrible had ever happened. As if she'd met me as my true self and still liked me enough to…

Inuyasha could stand it no longer. If this wasn't real, if she wasn't real, he had to settle it before he really, truly went mad; he'd already come dangerously close so many times before and he wasn't in the mood to tempt the odds once again.

"Kagome," he whispered haltingly, reaching up to close his hand over the back of hers, to stop her exploratory caresses.

There was such openness in her face now; when she blinked those gorgeous blue eyes again and turned their gaze back to his own, he very nearly forgot what he was going to say, such was the marvel of this sight.

This right here, he thought, this is the Kagome I knew. The first time she gave me that smile, flashed me those huge blue eyes, I knew that was it. I was hers. Completely and forever.

Which was why if this was some sort of fever dream, on either of their parts, it was worse torture than any horror Yura's vicious mind could have ever devised.

"Please," he choked out, "Please, if you're fucking with me right now - " Inuyasha didn't want to say it, but to keep whatever delicious spell had overtaken her...well, to keep it going would have surely killed him. " - you can stop. I get the message loud and clear."

Kagome gave a small frown, glanced this way and that, as if she were trying to puzzle through it herself.

Here we go, he thought, that sinking feeling returning to his stomach. This is where she checks herself and realizes how she's acting and quickly turns away to save face -

But the shove backward he was expecting never came. She just opened her mouth, took a breath, seemed ready to speak, thought better of it, closed her mouth again, looked up at him with utter helplessness…

And then Inuyasha felt her left hand, the one that wasn't still gently cupped around his left ear, slide up his bare chest, up the side of his neck, and when he inadvertently stiffened out of sheer fucking shock, she drew her hand back for half an instant before gently, oh so gently, laying her palm against the side of his face.

"I said it last night," she whispered, and there that nervous smile was again to make Inuyasha's breath catch in his throat, "I said you're not Okada. And I was right."

He swallowed thickly, holding his body completely still.

Kagome blinked one more time, and there were suddenly tiny beads of tears in her thick, dark lashes, but her soft smile remained.

"Okada…" she leaned in, so close and so lovely, "...was always you."

Inuyasha couldn't hold himself back a second longer. He threw his right arm around the small span of Kagome's shoulders and yanked her to him almost violently, and he buried his face in her wild black hair and let himself inhale and exhale through quiet, tremulous sobs.

"No," he muttered, his voice cracking and weak as he could do little more physically than shake his head back and forth with his eyes screwed shut, "No, Kagome, don't say that, I don't deserve - I can't let you - "

But then, quick as a flash, Kagome had snaked her arms around his waist and was holding onto him just as tightly, if not more so, and even though Inuyasha's eyes were closed he could feel the smooth skin of her face - that beautiful, sweet face - pressed against his cheek, nuzzling gently.

The scent of her, the warmth of her...the instant peace and reassurance of her embrace...

Inuyasha was too overwhelmed to do much more than give a powerless grunt and let himself cry, flooding the crown of her hair with streaks from his tears. And when he felt Kagome blink, felt the damp tickle of her lashes against the skin of his cheekbone, he knew she was weeping too.

"Kagome," he whispered, still fighting the elation, the happiness, because I don't deserve it don't you see I wasn't trying to do this to win you back, I refused to even let myself hope because it was selfish and I'm done being selfish Kagome I'm done being selfish -

"I've - I've done nothing but hurt you - "

You deserve love Kagome love without pain without judgment and exile and threats, you can't stay here by my side you have to get back to your family your people where you truly belong -

He felt her arms embrace him even tighter as she adjusted her kneeling position. She let out a small whimper, and he felt it vibrate against the skin of his throat; she exhaled another silent sob, and the cool rush of her breath against his collarbone made him screw his eyes shut even tighter as he tried to put his protestations into coherent words.

"I - Kagome, no, no, it can't be me, not ever again, not after everything I've - "

Please Kagome let me do this the right way the honorable way let me get you out of here and get you far away from me -

When Kagome's arms loosened their tight, desperate grip and seemed to slide away, he thought for a moment that maybe he'd gotten through to her.

But no. Her hands were just traveling up from his waist, trailing up his bare chest, sliding up the flushed skin of his shoulders and neck to once again rest on either side of his face. He kept his eyes shut, listening to her slightly quickened breaths as she gingerly made him lower his chin, and when the puffs of cool air were teasing at the skin of his lips he knew they were eye-to-eye and inches apart, if that…

All his pleas for mercy were falling on deaf ears, weren't they?

Of course, he thought suddenly, of course they are. And the notion seemed to muffle all the distress and fear and guilt.

She never listened to me when I was her commanding officer, so why in the hell would she start now?

The warmth crept up from his gut, spread through his chest and arms. It was elation, he knew, and relief despite himself, and, gods, just love.

The love that had caught him so unaware in the absolute worst time and place.

The love that had changed him so completely - no, not changed, he reasoned, just awakened. Like I'd been asleep my whole damn life and here she was, the morning sun, to open my eyes. And for me the morning sun was a teenaged human girl dressed in ill-fitting men's armor, learning weapons she'd never touched before, trusting me so entirely to keep a secret because somehow, she looked at me and thought higher of me than I ever had of myself...

He opened his eyes.

Kagome held his face in her hands, gently brushing the streaks of his tears away with her thumbs while her own tears dripped freely down her chin and neck. Her eyes seemed to be focused on his mouth, and when she slid her front teeth down over her lower lip in a last brief show of hesitation, Inuyasha knew he had to be at his limit.

But then...

"Inu...yasha."

That name, his name, spoken so softly and so sweetly in that voice with those lips, with those eyes staring up into his own, so stunning, threatening to rob him of all the air in his lungs…

"Inuyasha." She whispered it again, with more assurance this time, and one of her hands reached up to brush away a lock of his hair that had stuck to his sweat-sheened temple. The gesture was another familiar one between them, but the clarity, the acceptance in her shining blue eyes as she ran her fingers through the silvery strands threatened to send him into a desperate fit of cracked sobs again.

He felt Kagome's hands tug gingerly at his face, pulling him down the last few inches toward her, and as she closed her eyes she stretched her mouth into a toothy grin that only lasted a fraction of a second, as if she just couldn't help herself. And once again Inuyasha told himself that he didn't deserve this woman, he would never deserve her, but…

But…

Kagome was the daughter of the very man that Inuyasha owed his life to, a man whose entire singular goal had been protecting and caring for both of them, and from almost the second they each were born.

Whether this is the work of the gods, whether it's fate and destiny or pure chaotic happenstance…Inuyasha knew that he would trade anything, would change anything, change himself, change the fucked-up world around them, die, kill, endure whatever came...and all of it out of gratitude. Gratitude that however it happened, predestination or coincidence, and whether or not it lasted, whether or not their story had a happy ending, they had found each other.

The brush of Kagome's lips over his was just a chaste peck, jarring him out of his swirling thoughts.

He remained motionless as the kiss was over in a matter of seconds and Kagome pulled back slightly.

For a moment neither of them seemed able to speak, but then blue eyes met golden ones once more.

"I - " Kagome whispered, her voice breaking, as she held their gaze without blinking. "That wasn't - "

"You're right," Inuyasha said, and the words came out low and rough-edged, "It wasn't enough."

He curled a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her back to him, crashing his mouth against hers and feeling her gasp against him. As soon as his tongue stroked the seam of her lips she parted them without any hesitation. He savored her, letting the memories of the past intermingle with the sensations of the present and enjoying the taste of her all the more for it.

And she did the same right back to him.

With enthusiasm.

"Th-Thank you, milady." Nazuna's smile had returned.

"Are you still fatigued?" Midoriko asked, her lovely pale face drawn in concern, "If you are, you should rest for a few hours. It's been a long week, little dove." Once again she reached out to caress the side of the younger girl's face, and even from Sango's precarious, frozen position, it was possible to see Nazuna's eyes fluttering closed while she leaned into the touch.

"I'm fine," Nazuna said with a soft smile, opening her eyes again. "I can't sleep when you and Lady Kaede are working so hard. Not when we're so close. I should go help her."

There was a lingering stare between the two women before Nazuna gave a small, bright wave and dashed off toward the dark cave entrance.

Sango watched her go, and Midoriko did too.

"Poor girl," Midoriko said without turning her head back around. Her calm voice was tinged with genuine emotion. "Such a hard life for one so young, and still she presses onward with a smile."

Finally, it seemed, she decided Sango was worth her attention again, and she turned. But as she did, any lingering kindness in her expression disappeared as if it had been physically wiped from her face. "There was no need to say such things to her."

As remorseful as she felt, Sango was also defiant to a fault, and immediately she went into defensive mode, despite being clearly and completely at this woman's mercy. "All I did was ask questions," she said spitefully, "Wasn't that what you all wanted me to do? Or did I not ask the ones anyone wanted to hear? I didn't realize asking about those demon lovers you seem to treasure so greatly was taboo around here."

Midoriko kept her face cold and unfazed. "You make a grave mistake, slayer girl, with your assumptions that all of us have the same story to tell."

"Oh, do I?" Sango bit the words out, feeling her muscles aching from her awkward, mid-somersault position, trying to avoid thinking how foolish she must look right now. "If your whole excuse is that the gods made you how you are, that they made you lust after vicious beasts, then surely - "

There was a hum in the pink barrier that held her captive, and Sango's mouth slammed shut; it was pure dumb luck that she didn't bite down on her tongue in the process.

"Either Kaede got a little too poetic with her storytelling, or you misinterpreted her entirely," Midoriko said in a clipped tone. "We are no more inclined to love youkai than any other human woman. Our inborn advantage only makes it safer to do so."

'Inborn advantage'...she means the healing powers…?

"You were born into a village of warriors and crusaders, in a time of division and endless conflict. You can't even fathom the idea of letting a youkai live long enough to have a conversation, can you?"

Sango didn't - couldn't - answer, but even if her mouth wasn't held tightly shut, there was nothing she could really say in response, was there?

"So of course, the idea that we chose this path is offensive to you. But you were wrong to berate and insult Nazuna for making such a choice, because Nazuna is different. Nazuna never had a choice."

What?

Midoriko closed her eyes as if to gather her thoughts before she continued. "Nazuna's powers are not the result of a love-bond. In fact, what happened to her was the farthest thing from love you can possibly imagine."

The shock rattled through Sango's motionless body, and the shame followed, and it felt like she'd been backhanded in the face. She was suddenly grateful that Midoriko's magic had robbed her of her ability to speak right now.

That girl was - she was - and I said those horrible things to her and made fun of her pain and oh gods she just stood there and took it and tried so hard to still treat me with kindness -

"You saw those marks on her arms, right?" Midoriko's icy stare was suffocating, but Sango knew she deserved this and worse. "It's a tell-tale sign of corruption somewhere in the bonding process. Nazuna's powers are the weakest, and they take a physical toll on her every time she uses them. Unlike Kaede and myself, because we did make our choices, and our bonds were freely forged and mutual."

A shadow crossed Midoriko's face then, darkening her already-stern expression for a moment before she resumed her dignified posture as if nothing had happened.

Suddenly Sango's jaw and throat were unrestrained again, and all she could do after a mortified swallow was mumble the obvious. "She was raped."

"Yes. And I'm sure you're pleased to hear that. Fits with your narrative, doesn't it?"

If she could have, Sango would have curled in on herself, would have physically demonstrated just how much she was hating herself right now. "N-No," she said softly, "I'm not pleased to hear it. Not at all."

"She copes with it, and amazingly so. There's a strength in that girl's spirit that we would all be lucky to have. As it is, I owe Nazuna everything, and I'm not ashamed to say so. She saved me more than I ever could save her."

The beautiful miko's choice of words was puzzling to Sango, and a thousand more questions sprang up. But do I even have the right to ask anymore? Do I even deserve these women's honesty after behaving the way I have?

As if in response, Sango was lifted a foot or so above the ground, and her bindings loosened and stretched as she was lowered gently into a sitting position atop a flat rock.

"May I sit with you now?" Midoriko asked, so very politely. "It's time I told you everything. Kaede is a powerful miko and a wonderful woman, but she's not as direct as I am. You probably noticed."

This chapter's a bit shorter but dw the next one is gonna be another monster if my predictions are accurate (read: sometimes yes sometimes not at all) hahaha

YAY NEW CHARACTERSSSS

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH ALREADY MY PRECIOUS BBS OMGGGG

Miroku is currently offscreen still running through a forest with his new son and probably feeling pretty tired at this point

Sango is SUFFERING FROM FOOT-IN-MOUTH SYNDROME AGAIN ISN'T SHE, NOW U FUCKED UP, U FUCKED UP, U HAVE FUCKED UP NAO

Kagome: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU - wait why am I doing this lol - NVM I THINK I'M...GOOD?

Inuyasha: I am...skeptical

Kagome: Yeah no I totally get that I'm surprised myself

Inuyasha: Wanna fuk

Kagome: ...mmmmperhaps

SEE Y'ALL SOON, I CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR REVIEWS! - meggz0rz