As soon as Julie shut the door, Natalie sashayed into the room eager to begin her night alone with her handsome Adrian. The detective glanced up at her but had to look down when he noticed what she had changed into - a t-shirt that hugged every curve and drawstring sleep pants that hung low on her hips. She wasn't even wearing a robe like she normally would.

Oblivious to the warring emotions fighting for dominance in her boyfriend's head, Natalie glanced out the window as she went to the refrigerator to get some bottles of water for them both, then listened for any sound. Julie must be gone. Right on schedule.

Walking away from the refrigerator, she purposefully pressed herself against Adrian as she handed him one of the bottles.

"Julie's friends came to get her?" she asked. He nodded but didn't look up.

"Is…everything okay between the two of you?" she probed, continuing to make conversation.

Adrian nodded quickly. "Her friends picked her up. She's…everything is fine. She just wanted us to have a good ti_." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Um, that is…she said she was happy we were together."

Natalie knew he wasn't telling her the truth but was content to let them have their little secrets if it meant they were bonding.

Looking over at him she noticed how nervous he seemed. Placing her hands on his robe, she started to rub and massage his shoulders again. "You still look tense. Do you want me to draw you a bath? Or, how about this… how about I make us some popcorn and we can watch a movie?"

He considered this, but when her hands lowered ever so slightly to his chest he jumped and turned around in his chair to take her hands in his.

"N…no movie tonight" he replied.

"No?" she responded, surprised.

"No. But there is something else I'd like to do, if you don't mind. If it's not too much trouble. Tonight is perfect because Julie is gone."

Natalie bit down on her lower lip and smiled shyly at her boyfriend, running her hands through his hair. "What would you like to do that we can't do while Julie is here?" she cooed.

Adrian stood up, excited, and pulled Natalie with him toward the kitchen. "I would very much like to - organize your cabinets. One of these days I want to cook a home-cooked meal for you and Julie and…Natalie, I'm sorry to tell you, but your spice cabinet and pantry are not conducive to cooking."

His exasperated girlfriend blew out a frustrated breath and had no choice but to follow him. At least, maybe if she was helping him, she could speed this process along.

It took half an hour for Natalie and Adrian to take everything out of her pantry and spice racks, and another hour to put everything back. In the end, everything was organized according to a system that met Adrian Monk's standards. All of her pantry items and spices were now alphabetized by first letter and then organized by size, so if she ever wanted to look for something, she could find it at a glance.

She had been very patient, but the ticking clock on the wall continued to remind her that their time alone together was passing quickly. As he continued to work, lining up labels so that they each faced a certain direction, she began to feel frustrated toward him. But then he glanced over at her with that half-smile of his that had slowly driven her crazy the last month and thanked her for letting him fix this for her.

"You'll thank you later." he said with a wink, and she bit her lip and sighed as all frustration melted away. He was so happy cleaning and organizing like this, and her pantry did look better. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt.

She kissed him on the cheek, whispering softly in his ear that she would thank him later, and then told him to finish up and she'd be back in a few minutes after she texted Julie to make sure all was well.

Adrian closed the pantry with a self-satisfied smile and wiped his hands with a dishrag, stopping in the bathroom to wash up before changing into his pajamas. A few minutes later, he headed back to the couch to turn on the television to catch the end of the news and the weather report on channel ten.

Natalie was gone for quite a while, and he figured his little cleaning spree along with their evening out had probably rendered her too tired to stay up any later. But, just in case she wanted to snuggle, he stuck around a little while longer and waited for her on the couch.

He had just leaned his head back against its backrest and closed his eyes when he felt a shift in weight on the cushion next to him. Opening his eyes, he saw Natalie, her smooth skin being accentuated by a blue glow from the television and her warm body leaning against his. Her lips glistened and she looked down at him through sultry eyes whose pupils eclipsed a blue-green field below. He startled at her touch. And as he breathed in, he took in the smell of her freshly shampooed tresses, noting an alluring scent that smelled of lavender and sandlewood, a combination that he found both relaxing and seductive. His throat went dry, as with eyes wide-open, she leaned in and covered his lips with her own, drawing his willpower away from him as all five of his senses were lit ablaze. And before he had time to think very much about what she was doing or how close she was to him or how Julie wasn't at home at all or how he had tried to distract them from all of this by cleaning her cupboards, Natalie leaned in closer and kissed him again.

Adrian didn't think. He felt.

For the first time in a long time he allowed his feelings to take control and he responded to her touch and her kisses with equal passion, tugging her into his arms and deepening the kiss as soon as she responded positively to his touch. His hands never left her waist and she remained beside him, but for five minutes they kissed with increasing passion.

His mind warned him of the incoming danger, and it implored him to slow down. But he ignored what his mind was saying. It felt too good, he was enjoying this moment too much. He was enjoying Natalie. Her soft kisses. Her warmth. Her loving caress. She made him feel so - alive! Soon, his mind was screaming STOP but his body was telling his mind to SHUT UP. And for the first time in a very long time, he turned his mind off.

For the past two weeks, ever since Adrian had asked her for a second date, Natalie had inwardly debated seducing Adrian to move further in their physical relationship. They wouldn't go "all the way", of course, just further than they had gone so far. At least that was her plan. When the date happened to coincide on a day that Julie was going to be out of the house, she took that as a green light to move forward.

She and Adrian had only been together a month, that was true, but he shocked her with his willingness to connect with her not only emotionally, but physically. Physical touch was definitely one of her love languages and she quickly found that she wanted more from her relationship with Adrian than just kissing - though she certainly wasn't complaining about the kissing. Sometimes, against her better judgement, she allowed her imagination to wander to what it might be like if she and Adrian were to...

Natalie's mind stalled when Adrian's hand hovered over the uncovered strip of skin that showed between the bottom of her t-shirt and the waistband of her sleep pants. Then, he finally allowed himself to touch the bare skin on her waist. Just that step for him was monumental and Natalie knew it, but that one little touch so electrified her that she just couldn't help herself from doing what she did next. She knew she was taking a massive risk, but she had to try. She sat up on her knees and used his shoulders as leverage to get up from the couch and stand on the floor. Immediately, she kissed him again and took his hands in hers, murmuring his name quietly, a hint of nervousness in her voice that she knew that ninety-nine percent of the time he would have noticed. Not now. He kissed her back with equal hunger and blindly followed her as she led him toward the stairs.

For thirteen, almost fourteen years, Adrian Monk had been alone by circumstance and by choice, becoming expert over the years at sequestering himself to a state that befit his last name. He was married to Trudy and even after her death thought it to be unfaithful to her if he allowed himself to think of another woman or even consider his own physical needs. Everything had changed, now. Natalie Teeger had changed him. And it felt exhilarating.

In his mind there was a stubborn voice that was getting louder, that told him to stop, he and Natalie deserved better than this, he needed to be the one to slow things down. But he didn't want to listen to that voice. He very, very, very much didn't want to listen to that voice.

Natalie tugged on the sash of his robe, her feet hitting the bottom step of the stairs. She took a step up and beckoned him to follow her. Never once did they break their kiss.

The voice in Adrian's head was now blaring as loud as the police sirens at the station and he could no longer ignore them as badly as he wanted to. He ached for her, more than anything he wanted to go upstairs and be with her, to express his love for her in a way that he knew she wanted so much. But his mind kept telling him No! Not Now! It's Not Time! Then it whispered, There will be a better time, a more special time, just not tonight. Adrian alone knew what that time would be.

He had just raised his foot to step on the bottom step when finally the voice in his head broke through, screaming STOP!

Immediately, he pulled away from her, breaking the kiss, and then closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply grabbed onto the bannister, trying to get his bearings and calm himself down. After a few seconds, he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, stepping back down to the safety of the hardwood floor at the base of the stairs.

Natalie breathed heavily as she stood unsteadily on the second step. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice ragged.

He paused, looking everywhere but at her. "I...I'm sorry. I can't. We can't do this," he said breathlessly.

Natalie looked a little dazed and flushed, her lips still tingling from his kisses, and none of this was helping him in his resolve to make sure they didn't take things further. Neither was the way she reached forward to hesitantly touch his arm hoping she hadn't horribly offended him. She was so beautiful, so alluring, so…

"We - we don't have to go upstairs," she offered timidly, her eyes beginning to glisten with tears. "If it's your leg that's bothering you and trying to climb the stairs...your room is just over there...we could..."

He was quiet and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his robe. Her simple touch had set him on fire and he had to pull away immediately, making the tears swimming in her eyes spill over. Adrian felt horrible. "No, Natalie. It's - it's not my leg. I just - I just can't do this with you tonight. I can't be with you like you...like this. N-not tonight."

Natalie staggered up the stairs and sat down on the fourth step - as far away from him as she could get, he thought miserably. She hugged her knees to her chest and lowered her head, and he heard her quietly begin to cry. He ached to comfort her but was smart enough to know she wouldn't be receptive to his comfort at that moment considering he was the source of her unhappiness.

Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions as she tried to make sense of the many questions bombarding her senses at that very moment. And since there was no ready or obvious answer, she naturally tried to fill in the blanks. Each thought seemed to cause her heart to break a little bit more.

Adrian had said that he couldn't do this tonight. Was he just being a gentleman and trying to let her down gently? Would he ever be able to do this? He enjoyed kissing her - she knew that Adrian Monk of all people couldn't fake something like that - but maybe that was as far as he was willing to go. Maybe he didn't want her in the same way she wanted him. She knew he had only been with Trudy in that context and maybe it was too hard for him to think of being with anyone else.

Adrian sat down on the bottom step and reached for Natalie's hand. He promised himself that when he started dating Natalie he would do anything to make her happy and now he was making her unhappy. Every part of him wanted her, wanted to follow her upstairs to her bedroom and be with her in that most intimate of ways, but he'd learned to trust his mind and inner voice over the years and his inner voice told him what he already knew. It wasn't the right time for them. They weren't ready. And he knew it. And he knew, that deep down- she knew it too.

"Natalie, sweetheart, I - I love you." he whispered.

Natalie shrank away from his touch and once again hugged her knees to her chest. "I thought you wanted to be alone with me. You were the one that started our...nighttime activities after Julie goes to bed every night. I - I thought that meant you might have...wanted..." Natalie hid her face with her arms.

"Sweetheart, listen. It's not you. It's me." he replied.

She looked up at him, her eyes rapidly blinking away painful tears.

Adrian was silent. He didn't know anything to say that would make this better. In all the years he'd known her, he knew that Natalie felt different about physical intimacy than he did. She was always more open, more able to talk about the subject and apparently more willing to open herself up to new experiences with men she dated. That wasn't to say that she was a woman of loose morals. He was certain she wasn't, particularly after she asked him of all people to give Julie the talk about waiting for the right person and the right time and not just give that part of herself away freely to the first guy whom she had a crush on. But physical touch was something that came natural to her it was a part of who she was, and he shouldn't have expected anything different.

On the flip side, it was not necessarily a part of who he was. In general, Monk didn't like touching people - at least not most people. Natalie was the one exception, but even with her, his desire to touch her had come slowly, albeit beautifully. Yes, he loved when Natalie touched him and he often would reciprocate that touch; and, since their dating relationship had begun, they could add kissing to the mix. But, touching her was one thing - a huge thing for him; making love, that was something entirely different. She should have known this. She knew how he was about these things. She had screened all of his movies for sexual content for years, for crying out loud! She should have known!

So why couldn't she understand? This was who he was. It had always been who he was. Perhaps it was his fault for not explaining himself to Natalie and making his expectations and limitations clear, but she'd known him for seven years and she knew him. He was hoping she would have known and taken his sensitivities into account without them having to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation.

But was it really her fault? He had responded. He could have said no before things escalated. But, he didn't want to. He was as much - no, more to blame. He shouldn't have led her on only to let her down. How could he explain how he really felt, without her giving him that sad look as if he somehow found her undesirable? He desired her entirely too much and that was the only reason he stopped.

Natalie scrambled to her feet and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her t-shirt. "I'm sorry, Adrian, if I pushed us too far and tried for something you weren't comfortable doing. But it's late now and I'm feeling tired. I think it's best for me to go upstairs to bed and for you to go to your room."

"Natalie!" he cried out, using both of his hands to pull himself to a standing position by the banister. "Please, Natalie, let me..."

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him he had done enough. She didn't want to listen to him explain why it was that he didn't want her. But she stopped herself from saying those things out loud. It wasn't fair.

"Goodnight, Adrian," she murmured quietly. "Thank you for a lovely evening. I hope you have a nice rest of your night and that you sleep well."

Adrian watched as she turned away from him and walked upstairs. Moments later he heard the door to her bedroom close loudly. It wasn't quite a slam, but the intention was the same, and he flinched at the sound and Natalie's sadness that undoubtedly was behind it.

He stayed in that place for a long time, sitting on the bottom step of Natalie's stairs. He and Natalie had now been on two dates in a month and they were two for two in dates that started well but ended with Natalie hurt and/or in tears. Maybe all of this was his fault. Maybe he had underestimated how difficult dating again after thirty years would be. Maybe he had underestimated how difficult going from friendship with Natalie to dating Natalie would be.