They say

Love makes you blind

But maybe

It only makes you cross-eyed

Incapacitated

Unable to see

What is truly

Worthwhile?

She was happy.

What was missing?

Her friends

No longer

A house of cards

Instead

She found a family

Closer

Perhaps not in blood

But in bond.

And here

Beside her

Lo and behold

Even the greatest cynic

Warmed up to her

Opening a window

A chance

From his shell

It was not

The monster of logic

Who poked its head out

But

Simply him.

Hikigaya Hachiman. In the flesh.

She knew

There was still a mask

Yet she saw more

Than he will ever reveal

Because behind the curtain

The magician will show

Not magic

But real impressions.

She wanted to stay

Beside him

A little longer

He would not leave her

But it seemed as if

As man cannot last

Three minutes without air

She found herself

Gasping for his presence.

"Would you look at the time."

"Please... don't leave..."

She softly murmured, barely audible.

"Huh? It's past five PM. I'll walk you home."

The rain

Along with the knowledge

That they will inevitably part ways

Even if only for an hour or two

It would feel like eternity

And the cold

Was like a knife

Against her cheeks.

Each step

Heavier than the previous

Each sliver of precipitation

Like tears

As if the sky

Was crying for her.

He held her hand

Yes

Her fingers were cold

Wrapping against his

Tightly

Desperately

Reluctant to let go.

"Are you alright?"

She could not answer

Could not lie

How could she?

She wanted to tell him

That she wanted it all

Him.

He would understand

But she knew well

Even the cold cynic

Still has a heart

No matter how hard

Can be hurt.

She may hurt him

Could

Will

Already had.

By loving someone else

She has essentially

Rejected

The chance

A future

For a flame

Between them

To bloom.

He would not be happy

To find out

That he was

Merely

The number two.

He already was.

She could not tell

Whether he knew this

Or he had simply accepted the fact

That her heart

Was never his?

Nobody

Wants to be

Treated like

An option.

Dare she treat him so

He will leave her

Like a choice.

He was kind

Compassionate

Even loving

But on the other hand

He was ruthless

Remorseless

And will not hesitate

To cut ties

With her

And if their relationship

Was cancer

He will destroy it.

She was afraid.

Fear.

The very thought of it

Was nightmare

Manifesting

In a realist form.

Everyone stops

Looking under the bed

Upon realizing

The monster

Was never there.

And that was the scariest part.

Fear a spider

Not when you see one

But

When you cannot see it

Anymore.

"Well, this is where we part ways."

"Don't say that!"

"Alright, no goodbyes."

"Come back here. I'll be waiting."

"Don't."

"Don't stay out too late."

"Agreed. I'll see you later."

Unexpectedly

He pulled her

Into an embrace

Rare were these moments

But it was precious

Too much

Yet too little

She did not want to let go.

"Oh- ok! Enough with the bear hugs."

"Hachi!"

She looked right at him in the eye

Green eyes

It was fierce

Yet with an expression

One that had never been shown

In a long time.

The look

If one could see

The look

Of needing.

"Go now."

And she disappeared

Into the confines

Of her home

Watching him

From a window

Aboard a cab

Zoom away

Into the distance.

Maybe that is why

They call it

Window pane.

What a terrible pun.

If he was here with her

She would earn

Another snide remark

From him.

If.

Laying on the couch

Finally

Alone

Once more.

She saw beauty in solitude

Courtesy of a certain cynic

Yet

Now

It was the last thing

She would ever want.

She hated being alone.

In the darkness of the room

Silence

Only the sound

Of rain

And radio

Faint

A song was playing

Sad

Unknowingly

Tears

Like crystal streams

Down her cheeks

Disappear

Stare at the ceiling

Crying.

Chasing a dream

Never caught

Purple rain.

Jealousy.

From love it comes, to hate it becomes.

Now.

All she wanted

Was to see him

Smiling

In the purple rain.