Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.
Chapter 30.
A couple of days past, they had spent most of their time in their rooms, only coming out to grab the occasional bite to eat. Lisa had hoped that Dylan's previous willingness to ask questions would have flourish into a meaningful discussion, however, he had receded and had barely said a word to her.
Lisa sat in her room muttering to herself, her inner thoughts were driving her nuts. Dutchy was in the lounge watching TV, loudly, Lisa let out a huff as she lept off the bed and stormed into the lounge and stood in his view.
"I can't do this anymore..."
He frowned as she snatched the remote and turned off the TV.
"Just yell at me, scream, something..."
He stared at her blankly for a moment trying to sort through his feelings in his head.
"Don't you think I want to forget about all of this? But, I can't!"
She let out a sigh and sat on the couch next to him, he couldn't help but shift away from her.
"Did you read it?"
She focused on him, willing him to answer, eventually, he gave the slightest nod.
"So, do you see why I did what I did?"
He did, to a point, but he wasn't ready to admit it, she had hurt him more than anyone ever had in his life. She placed a hand on his knee and he jumped from her touch.
"Dylan, please just talk to me…"
"What do you want to hear first? How you made me feel like I could have it all, perfect job, perfect girlfriend, the perfect life. Or, how you made me feel like my whole life was a joke, a game to you people?"
She dropped her head, she thought he might have thawed a little after reading her diary.
"Dylan, I…"
"How can you even look me in the eye, you tell me that you love me, but…"
"I do, Dylan. You taught me how to love, showed me how good my life could be. I love you so much that it hurts, I thought that you would never forgive me. What I did, I did it for us."
"So, you seriously thought me thinking you were dead was best?"
She reached out for him but he removed himself from the couch.
"Yes, that way you couldn't be angry with yourself, you couldn't blame yourself."
"So, instead you framed me for your murder?"
"No, you know that wasn't me! I came back when I found out!"
He knew she wasn't responsible for that part, but he couldn't hear it, he was still so mad, it needed to be her fault, he couldn't have gone through all of this and not be mad.
"I can't talk about this, I just need some space…"
He went to walk away, she pulled on his arm stopping him.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"What do you care?"
She released her grip and let him go.
He returned a few hours later, walking past her on his way to his bedroom he stopped and glanced at the mantle that divided their doors. Sitting proudly in the middle was the photo he had taken of them at Windin Falls. He couldn't look at it, their happy smiles were a lie, he let out a hiss of frustration and violently flipped it over.
Lisa exhaled loudly and rose from the couch, she gently knocked on his door not wanting to cause another fight. She waited for a response but there wasn't one, taking a deep breath in she turned the handle and stuck her head in.
"Dylan, please, if we're gonna be stuck here, we have to talk."
He sat on the bed barely acknowledging her presence. She stepped in to the room and waited for an objection, but again there was no response. Placing herself on the edge of the bed she swallowed hard trying to think of something reasonable to say.
"Dylan, it takes a lot more effort to stay mad at someone rather than talk it through?"
He scrunched up his face finally acknowledging her presence.
"How would you know? I bet you've never talked it through with any of the other poor suckers you've made fall for you?"
"There aren't any others…"
"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"No, but…"
"Just go…"
She thought about standing her ground but she had already upset him twice in one day, she didn't want to push him further.
She returned to the couch and took out her phone and messaged Shaun.
"This isn't working, isn't there anyway you can move me?"
A few minutes had passed and he hadn't replied, she sent him a barrage of question marks and he finally replied.
"Sorry, can't right now. Just talk to him."
She let out a growl and chucked her phone on the couch.
The next morning Dutchy awoke to the sound of the front door clicking shut. He rolled out of bed and opened his bedroom door, he spotted the frame which had been up-righted, out the corner of his eye, and shook his head.
Dylan wandered around the house opening various drawers and checked out the other rooms. Flopping back o to the couch he turned on the TV to drown out his thoughts, he knew he needed to stop lashing out at her, but he didn't know how to control his emotions. He loved her but she did an awful thing that shattered his heart.
It was late afternoon and Lisa hadn't returned, he paced around the house worried that something had happened. He took out his phone to message Shaun, as his finger hovered over send he heard the front door unlock. Lisa walked in with bags of shopping, she jumped seeing him standing in the hallway. He stormed up to her, his face full of anger and worry.
"Where the hell have you been?"
She walked into the kitchen confused about his tone.
"Umm, just out…"
"You can't just disappear like that!"
Lisa placed the bags on the counter and tilted her head at his outburst, she was relieved that he was showing emotion. She couldn't help but smile as she unpacked the bags, he frowned at her happy expression.
"What are you smiling for? I thought something had happened to you!"
"You care…"
"Of course I fucking care, haven't you been listening? Do you think I'd be this mad if I didn't care!"
He shook his head as he rummaged around the cupboards, she stood behind him unsure of what he was looking for.
"Ah, you lost something?"
"I need a drink…"
Lisa wandered into her bedroom and returned holding a bottle of vodka.
"Here…"
He peered into the fridge, it was empty, he grabbed 2 glasses from the shelf.
"Shots it is…"
They sat on the couch and he poured two glasses, she didn't want to fight again but maybe the vodka might soften him up, this was the opportunity to get him to talk.
"Okay, we drink, and I'll answer anything…"
Dylan had already finished his glass as she finished her sentence, he didn't respond, Lisa nudged him while downing her glass.
"Okay?"
He poured himself another and downed it and then nodded.
Lisa suddenly got up and pulled a bag of chips from the shopping bag, she opened them as she fell back on to the couch. Dylan looked over to her and raised an eyebrow as she stuffed a handful of chips into her mouth.
"What?"
He couldn't help it, the edges of his mouth curved upwards.
"Always with the food…"
They looked into each others eyes for a moment, Lisa felt a spark of hope, but she also saw the pain in his eyes. She looked away and fiddled with her glass
"I'll tell you anything you want to know."
Dylan sat there spinning the glass around in his hands trying to pick a question from the hundreds that swirled around in his head.
"Before all of this, before Kate McGregor, before Lisa McDonald of the N. , who were you?"
She had to take a moment, it wasn't the question she was expecting.
"I don't know, I was a girl, a naive girl who thought she had a pretty good life. She had parents who loved her and who were proud of her, a girl who had a boyfriend who adored her and…"
A single tear ran down the side of her cheek, Dylan quickly poured her another drink feeling guilty he brought it up, she swallowed her drink just as quickly as he poured it.
"I was someone completely different."
Lisa stared into nothingness, Dylan wasn't sure what to do. He gently slid his hand over and touched hers, she turned to face him and smiled.
"Then…"
She sculled another drink and slammed her glass on to the table.
"Then, I found out what the real world was like, unfair, unforgiving…"
He winced, he didn't mean for the conversation to bring up her parents.
"When your parents were killed?"
"Yeah, and that's when I was put into the safe house, just in case. It was hell, I had no one, I was 19, and was alone for the first time in my life. I mean at least this time I have some company."
She looked over to him to gauge his reaction, his eyes were fixated on her. He realised he was staring and broke focus, he poured then another drink. He handed her the glass and she continued.
"I made them get me out, I couldn't hide forever. But then I started to get these weird feelings, I felt like I was being watched. Then, one day I came home and someone had been in my house. Shaun found out and wanted me to go into witness protection, I refused of course. We came up with this compromise, I join the N.I.I.D, I would be safe as I was under constant surveillance, changing names and jobs and never letting anyone know the real me. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but also, it was my only choice. It took some time to get used to, but then I actually enjoyed it, I was putting guys, like the one who killed my parents, behind bars. It was a win, win. But, then everything changed, I met you."
She couldn't look at him, what if he didn't believe her? She felt his hand squeeze hers a little tighter and her heart skipped a beat. She grasped his hand in hers.
"You changed everything, you have to believe me. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing by both of us. Would you really have forgiven me if I told you the truth?"
Dylan went to speak, she knew that he was going to say he would have, she raised an eyebrow in his direction. He hated that she knew him so well, he let out a scoff.
"I would have, eventually… I'm talking to you now aren't I?"
He filled their glasses again, he still had more questions.
"Who's, who's idea was it for you to, you know, die…"
"It was Warren's. I was just so desperate to get out, I'm sorry it went down like that. When you found me…"
She stopped, a lump formed in her throat thinking of that moment.
"Dylan, it was the worst moment of my life, and I'm not trying to, I dunno. I'm not asking for you to forgive me straight away, I'm not asking you to just pick up where we left off, but I am asking you to just, try to understand why I did what I did, it was all because I love you."
They sat there in silence, tears fell from both their eyes, they were interrupted by the front door slamming against the wall. They jumped off the couch shocked to see a panicked looking Shaun. Lisa wrinkled her face seeing him.
"Shaun? What's the matter?"
He spotted the bottle of vodka on the table and rushed over and poured himself a shot and downed it. Lisa grabbed his arm in an attempt to get him to focus.
"Shaun? What's going on?"
"He's really out…"
Lisa and Dylan looked at each other confused at his statement.
"Shaun, what do you mean?"
He sat on the couch and poured them each a drink and placed it in front of them,
"Just drink it, trust me…"
They looked at each other and shrugged and took a drink, Shaun sheepishly cleared his throat .
"I may have told a tiny white lie before, Warren hadn't escaped."
A simultaneous "WHAT?!" came from their mouths.
"And, before you both lose your minds, I did it for the greater good, how else was I going to get you into a room together? But now, it back fired, he's really gone."
He quickly poured more vodka into their glasses before they could have a go at him.
"You can't help loving love..."
He flashed them a smile and pushed the glasses towards them, they took them looking unimpressed and swallowed them.
"Well, it worked didn't it? You guys were talking when I interrupted?"
Lisa cleared her throat to change the subject.
"So what are we gonna do?"
"We're trying to track down who he was working with internally, he's smart, he can drop off the radar, the good news is my other lie, I'm the only one who knows your here..."
Dylan's eyes narrowed as he sipped on his glass and eyeballed Shaun.
"How do we know we can trust you?"
Lisa whacked him on the chest, they sat in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, Dylan burst out laughing, Lisa and Shaun shot him a confused look.
"This is ridiculous, it should be some lifetime series."
Shaun looked from Dylan then to Lisa, who was now holding back a giggle.
He picked up the bottle of vodka, it was now 3/4 gone, and shook it in their faces.
"I'm assuming this was full not so long ago, huh?"
They both nodded and they all burst out laughing, Shaun grabbed his bag and pulled another bottle out along with a bottle of soda water.
"Well, I brought this to soften the blow..."
Dylan cracked open the bottle.
"And now it's dinner…"
A couple of hours later Shaun had passed out on the arm chair, Lisa and Dylan were slouched, semi conscious, on the couch. Lisa sat herself up and groaned seeing the second bottle of vodka almost empty.
"What are we doing?"
Dylan rubbed both hands over his face trying to wake himself.
"Drinking away our problems?"
She shook her head and brought her knees up to her chest.
"No, we, us…"
He didn't respond. Taking a deep breath in, she shifted closer, she was sure she'd be able to tell if he was going to forgive her by looking into his eyes. She counted to three in her head and slowly raised her gaze to meet his…
Meredith voice over: They say the truth sets you free. What the hell do they know? The truth is a horrible thing, frightening. The truth is more than you can bear. So, be careful what you wish for, because when you find out the truth, you may never recover.
End Chapter 30.
xx