It had been a long time since he'd seen her, longer, really since he'd talked to her. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she was in the middle of a conversation with a couple of detectives, people he didn't know from the VICE maybe? He wasn't sure, but he'd didn't know the two detectives, just Sharon. It was Veteran's Day; he knew Sharon had returned home just a couple days ago, and while he wasn't surprised to see her back at work, he felt badly she'd had such a mess on her hands and had to jump back into work. The elevator door opened, ending his chance to catch her eye. He was hoping to catch up with her, had been trying to do that, but she had been swamped, busy with just about everyone in the department. She looked tired, worn out, pale-she looked like she'd been through it the last few weeks. Losing a parent was never easy, but carrying the load she'd been carrying brought on extra stress. Now that she was back, he'd try to catch up to her, to see if she needed anything. He ached for his friend and what she was dealing with.
He had his own issues too, things he didn't want to admit or discuss. Doing that yard work at Sharon's place a couple weeks ago had been really good for him. Working had been good for him. Seeing his kids almost every weekend had been good for him. So much of it was changing, just in a short time now. He'd been blind sighted on Halloween. He'd wanted to see the kids in their costumes-Nicole as a cat, really just in a leotard with tights, whiskers, and a headband, but hey, she was growing up. Nate had gone as a ghost, not too much creativity there, but they had both loved their costumes. A trip to see them had involved seeing Sandra. What he hadn't expected was to meet Dave, now apparently Sandra's fiancé. THAT had been a total shock to his system. He knew it was a mistake. The kids had mentioned in July and August that Sandra had a friend, even the name Dave had been mentioned, but they'd also told him they really hadn't spent time with him; they'd just seen him picking up Sandra on occasion. Sandra, of course, hadn't mentioned Dave. Apparently, Dave hadn't spent much time with the kids, but suddenly, he was now going to be their step-father. It was moving too quickly. He just knew it. With an engagement, that had happened earlier on Halloween-and by the way-who gets engaged on Halloween? Anyway, with the engagement came news from Sandra-Dave was taking a new job north, three hours to the north, and they were going to be a family up there. Andy could still travel as he wanted to see the kids, but the normal weekends would have to be modified. Andy was going to lose his kids. No judge would give him full custody, and he couldn't stand the idea of ripping them away from their mother just because he wanted to be selfish. It seemed like a nightmare, one that started not even two weeks ago. He was going to lose the ability to easily check on his kids. The bunk beds he'd finally bought looked so empty in his place now, even though this supposed move hadn't happened yet. He'd even folded his tall frame to sleep in the kids' room that night, feeling that being in their empty room, even without them, somehow put him closer to them.
Over the next few days, he spiraled. Looking back on it, yes, just a week ago now, he realized he was stuck in his own pity party. Sadly, though, when in the middle of one, it's hard to see your way out. His spiral had continued when, the security company, with whom he worked, informed him they'd lost three of their big contracts. The company was falling apart, nothing to do with him, but it was. Managerial mis-management was a big issue. Guys were quitting left and right, jumping ship trying to find new jobs. He'd stuck it out until the end. The company was folding, no more work, and they couldn't stay afloat. So, yeah, sure he could probably find a new security job. It just wasn't going to be easy or a necessarily quick process. He'd gotten used to that extra income, the extra work too. Now, it felt like even with his long days, he still had too much time on his hands, time to let his mind thing-think about his life, his kids leaving soon, about what a mess things had become again-just too much time.
Andy stepped off the elevator into the parking garage. He needed to go home. Home, he sighed as he thought about it. Really, it was depressing. As excited as he'd been to get his own place, he was kidding himself that it was anything amazing. His life had become this mess. With the cases he'd investigate, college kids had nicer apartments than his. Many people had nicer places than he did. He was sure good old Dave, the kids' soon-to-be stepdad would provide a nicer place than Andy could do right now. He was a joke. He walked across the parking garage, searching for his car, his dump of a car. Sadly, that had been in his long range plan, to upgrade his car with his money from his security job. He was good with numbers, had written things out. Now that he had purchased furniture for the apartment, to include the bunkbeds, he would have some free money each month to start saving for a better car. That wasn't happening, at least for now, at least until he found a better second job. He could look at leads; he just didn't want to do that today. Today, he just needed to get away from it all.
Hours later, he looked up as the door opened. She looked even more exhausted than she had looked at work, standing there in sweatpants, a stained sweatshirt, and her hair in a loose ponytail.
"Andy?" Sharon asked, a puzzled look on her face. She glanced outside, looking for his car in her driveway. He braced his arm against the doorframe. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry about your dad," he grumbled, sighing as he looked to the ground.
"Have you been drinking?" Sharon asked. He glanced up at her, and even in his state, he could see the sadness in her eyes.
"Just a little," he explained. "I'm not drunk. Just a little the last few days. It's been a rough time, but I'm sorry because it's nothing like your mess. I probably shouldn't drink."
Sharon nodded, "You are an alcoholic," she sighed loudly and looked up to the sky, shaking her head.
"I didn't drive here, took a taxi," he explained, still leaning his arm against the side of the house. He dropped his head. "I'm an idiot, coming here with my problems."
He glanced up at her and saw tears streaming down her face, "Just come inside," she finally said, her voice wavering. He could hear the sadness, even in his state. He wasn't drunk, but he had been drinking.
"No," he shook his head. "I've been feeling sorry for myself, and I realize right here and now I shouldn't burden you with this."
"No," she crossed her arms and stood firmly. Andy finally stood tall and looked her in the eye. She pursed her lips, "You're right that you shouldn't be burdening me right now, but here you are," she gestured. "Sounds like you need to get your head on straight. I can't make you do that. I can't make you stop drinking. I can't make your life better. That's all on you. I've got my own mess and am trying everything in my power to not just give up right now." Andy could see the tears again and instantly felt like a fool. What was he doing? "Come inside," she pointed, almost as if she was scolding a child. "I'll put on the coffee, and you can start over, that is if you're willing?"
"I guess I hit rock bottom again," he grumbled. "I shouldn't have started drinking last week."
"I shouldn't let you in right now," Sharon shook her head, "but I'm your friend and will put my own problems aside to help you right now. That's part of what irritates me about myself-I let everyone dump on me, but come in."
"I'll just call Provenza," he waved her off. She reached out and grabbed his forearm, "We'll call him, but for now, you're here. Things certainly have fallen apart, haven't they?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "You have no idea."
"Neither do you," Sharon sighed as she pulled Andy inside. "To think where things were just a couple months ago."