Chapter 39: Let's Make a Deal

"What are we gonna do?" Carol watched Daryl pace the room as she sat on the bed brushing out her hair.

"Ain't no question. Henry'll stay with us."

"Of course he'll stay with us. I meant about Negan," Carol explained. As soon as Daryl had gotten back from hunting, she'd met him at the gate with the note, and his first instinct was to head out and try to catch up with Negan. But they had no way of knowing what direction he would've traveled in. The young woman on walker watch hadn't seen anybody slip out, but she recalled seeing a few walkers heading east, as if they'd spotted something and were on the hunt. But, it was getting late, and his family needed him at home. Negan's letter had been pretty clear.

"He don't wanna be found."

"He's grieving, Daryl."

"Yeah. He is. But he ain't been the same since Lucy died. And Henry's been sleep walkin' or sneakin' out. One or the other. Things ain't been good over there."

"So we just let him go?" Carol asked.

"It's what he wants. It might be best for Henry for now." Daryl sat down next to his wife on the bed. "I don't like this anymore'n you do. But there ain't much we can do. If he don't wanna be found, he ain't gonna be found."

"You're right," Carol agreed. "I just feel so bad for Henry."

"The kid's been through a lot. So has his dad. Look, Negan can take care of himself. Henry can't. So I say we take care of the boy 'til Negan comes back."

"If he comes back." Daryl wrapped his arm around Carol's waist, and she leaned into him. "I think part of him died when Lucy died. I'm worried about what he's gonna do."

"If I lost you, I'd lose my goddamn mind," Daryl muttered. Carol turned her face toward his. "Don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

"One of us is going to outlive the other," Carol murmured. "Unless we get taken out at the same time." Daryl flinched at the thought. "It's gonna happen someday. And if I go first? You're going to be ok. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because we both know what it's like to be alone. You always had Merle, but you were alone. I had Ed and Sophia, but I tried so hard to keep Ed's abuse from Sophia that I felt like she didn't even know me. At the end, I think she understood, but she was so young. For most of my marriage, I felt like a single mom. We both survived awful situations, and somehow we found each other."

"And I ain't plannin' on losin' you anytime soon."

"Good, because I don't plan on going anywhere," she grinned. "Hey. I helped bring Henry into this world. I love that little boy, and we're gonna make sure he's taken care of." She put her hand on her belly. "What's one more?"

"Yeah. We've never met a challenge we ain't beat yet." Carol yawned then, and Daryl chuckled. "C'mon, let's go to bed."

...

He'd walked about five miles, each step more painful than the last. He'd turned around to head back about a dozen times, each time stopping himself and telling himself it was for the best. He was a fucking coward, and he knew it. The minute Lucy died, his family fell apart, and when she left, she took most of him with her. He felt like the shell of a person now, and it wasn't fair to Henry to grow up with a father like that. He loved the boy beyond words, and he knew this was the best thing for him. It was a selfless intention. So what did he feel so goddamned selfish?

He'd started off East. He had no reason for it. He remembered Eugene, Rosita and Abraham were heading that way. He didn't expect to run into them again, but it was at least a direction. And if nothing else, he'd eventually end up at the ocean, and maybe once he got there he'd have some shit figured out; have his head on straight so he could get back to his boy and raise him the way he was supposed to.

There was a small town they'd cleaned out of supplies over a year ago, and the place looked like it hadn't been touched since. Leaves and tree branches were thick on the streets, and the only walker Negan could see around was one trapped between a brick wall and the bumper of a car. Its lower half was strewn on the grown, while its arms reached for a victim it would never take.

Negan thought about putting it out of its misery, but he was exhausted himself and didn't want to waste the energy.

There was a small library at the edge of town they had raided for books on growing crops and raising livestock, and he remembered it being fairly secure. It would be a good place to rest for the night so he could start fresh in the morning.

Part of him wanted to keep moving, because he knew as soon as he closed his eyes, he'd want to go back. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and the farm. But he was weary, and the closer he got to the library, the more inviting it became.

But when he opened the door and stepped inside, the first thing he heard was a scuffle of footsteps, followed by a gun cocking.

"Drop the bat." The voice was low and hushed, but it was very distinctly a woman's voice.

"Hey, look, I'm just passing through."

"So am I. Drop the fucking bat." He held one hand up and dropped his barbed wire covered weapon at his feet. He put the other hand up, and the woman stepped out from the shadows. Her chest rose in fell in ragged breaths, and there was a glimmer of wildness in her eyes. She kept her gun pointed at Negan's face and used her free hand to pat him down.

"Look, last I came through here, this place didn't belong to anybody. So if you don't mind, I'll get the hell up out of your way, and we'll pretend this never happened." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Where did you come from? Where are you going?" Negan said nothing. "You're clean. Your clothes don't have holes or patches. You've been behind walls."

"Look, lady, I'm not from anywhere, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm just trying to survive. Like you."

"Are you with them?"

"With who?" Negan asked. When she didn't reply, he sighed. "Look. You don't trust me. That's fine. Just let me get my bat, and I'll be out of here. It's cool. I can find my own place for the night. Pretty sure there's a school a couple blocks away."

"It's overrun. I just came from there." She lowered her gun, but she didn't put it away.

"Mommy?" Negan turned toward the voice to see a little boy about Henry's size cowering behind one of the bookshelves. His clothes were torn, and he looked like he needed a hot meal and warm bed.

"Damn it. Baby, I told you to stay back there 'til I said it was safe." The little boy with dark hair and dark eyes flinched, and the woman waved him over. "It's ok, Dylan." She got between him and Negan, but Negan looked around her, waving to the boy.

"Dylan?" Negan asked. "Hey, Dylan. My name's Negan."

"Keep away," the mother bit out. "Stay away from my son."

"Look, it's obvious you two have been out here for a long while. I don't know what kind of trouble you've had with people, but I know a place with walls. People."

"Yeah, we know about that place." She let out a dry laugh. "They slaughter people for food."

"What? No. Not that place. I've heard of that place. This is a farm. They've got walls. People. Kids. They're good people."

"Right," she smirked. "See, I might believe that bullshit if we hadn't spent two weeks being hunted like a couple of animals."

"What happened? Did they give up?"

"Crazy, hungry people don't give up. I took care of it. But there were more. There had to be more."

"Look, lady. I don't know where you came from or what's happened to you, but I've got a boy about your boy's age. He's back there now. I wouldn't have left him if it wasn't safe."

"So you just tell some random stranger who held a gun at your head about this safe place you allegedly left your son at?"

"You didn't kill me. And you have a kid. That tells me two things. You're one of the good guys. And you need help."

"Mommy, can we go?" Dylan asked. The woman kept her focus on Negan.

"Why aren't you back there? Why are you leaving? If it's so safe, why leave your kid?"

"I'm not here to tell you my whole life story, Princess. I'm telling you, it's a good place with good people. And you look like you've been out here longer than a damn minute." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You've been going place to place all these years, haven't you? Haven't stayed more than a month anywhere in particular." The woman looked over at her son. "The place I was? They've built houses there. They have crops. Livestock. It's a goddamn paradise."

"A paradise that you left."

"A paradise that's still standing, because it has walls and food and people. Did I mention the walls?"

"Mommy, please? Can we go?" Dylan pleaded, tugging on her shirt.

"Where is it?" she asked, turning her attention back to Negan.

"Look, I'm not giving out information for free. Let's make a deal. You let me stay here tonight without putting a bullet in my head, and I'll tell you where this place is. It's not far. Won't take you long. You have a car?" She shook her head. "Yeah, didn't think so. It'll take you half a day to get there, but it'll be worth it. I promise."

"That's it? I don't kill you in your sleep, and you'll tell me where this place is?" A grin spread over Negan's face. The woman quickly stepped up into Negan's space, as if daring him to touch her. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Look, I don't know who you think you are, but I won't…"

"Don't flatter yourself. I want your gun."

"Excuse me?"

"This gun, any gun you have with you. I'll tell you where it's at, but I'm not sending a stranger with a loaded weapon back to my friends and family."

"You'd send a woman and a child out there unarmed?"

"You've been out here long enough, I'm pretty sure you know how to take care of yourself. Besides, I'm just asking for the guns. Knives are quieter, anyway." The woman scoffed, but Negan wasn't backing down.

"How do I know you're not lying through your teeth and sending us into a slaughter?" Negan grinned and reached down to pick up his bat.

"You don't. That's the problem with this world. You have to work harder to establish trust." Negan sighed when he realized he wasn't getting anywhere with her. "Look. I lost my wife. She died a little over a month ago. One of our people did something stupid, got bit and didn't tell anybody. I guess the group was lucky he only bit one person. Unfortunately, it was my wife. That's why I left. I've got shit to sort out, and I left my son with some good people while I sort out said shit." The woman slowly lowered her gun. "Look. All I want is your guns. I'm not going to force you to give them to me. You don't give me the guns, I don't tell you where this place is, and we both go on our merry little ways."

The woman looked to her son, and his pleading eyes were enough to convince her to take that chance. She could always find another weapon, after all. The chance to get her son behind walls with food and protection and a place to sleep wasn't going to come along every day.

"I'll give you the guns in the morning. I don't know you, and you'd be crazy to think I'd hand it over to a stranger in the middle of the night. At first light, I'll give you the guns, and you'll give me directions. Deal?"

"Deal," Negan chuckled. "Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna mosey on over to the self-help section and make my camp for the night." He slung his bat over one shoulder and his pack over the other. He winked at the boy and looked to the woman. "Don't worry. I'll keep my distance so long as you keep yours."

"Deal," she bit out, taking her son by the hand. "Come on, Dyl. Let's go get some sleep." She turned and led her boy back toward the doors that led to whatever part of the library they'd just come from.

"Make sure you tell 'em you saw me, and that I'm alright." She turned and looked at Negan. "If my boy Henry asks about me, just…tell him I miss him." She looked to Dylan and swallowed the lump in her throat. Finally, she lifted her gaze back up to him.

"Negan, right?"

"That's right, Dylan's mom." The woman let out a soft laugh and turned back toward the doors. As she walked away with her son, she called over her shoulder.

"The name's Andrea."

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks for all the lovely comments. More to come soon!