She fled work with a bit more mania than she would have preferred, scooping up Sasuke and practically running out the door.
They met the crush of parents outside the Academy, and Yamanaka Yuina waved them over. Sasuke's arms around her neck got a little tight- too tight- "Sasuke, it's ok." she whispered. "It's going to be fine. We're just picking up Naruto and going home, but I need you to not choke me."
The python-like grip released a bit, and he dug his face into her neck instead.
"How are you, Sasuke-kun?" Yuina-san said, peering around to see his face. He dug in.
His fingers gripped her hair tightly. He wasn't going to respond. "He's tired." Regina smiled in mild apology- not for his behavior, really. He didn't owe anyone shit. But Yuina-san was nice.
"Of course." Yuina-san smiled back, all calm demeanor and grace. "Ino has been worried, I'm glad to see you back, Sasuke-kun."
He gave a little grunt.
"I would actually love to invite you and your family to our greenhouse, if you'd like to come. Kuri-san is doing a class on perfume making that I thought you might enjoy." Yuina-san leaned back, and gave a leisurely glance at the clock. They had less than a minute left before all the children were released like a horde of orcs.
Regina looked down at Sasuke, who didn't seem interested in responding one way or the other.
"I think we'd love that. When is it?"
The bell rang, and the doors exploded open. Ino ran out holding hands with her little friend with the pink hair, and they only let go when they reached their respective parents.
Naruto ran out and saw her and Sasuke, and looked visibly confused.
"I know, I can only carry one of you at a time. I'm not that strong." She apologized. "Can you settle for holding my free hand?"
He could, grabbing at it immediately.
Yuina laughed, drawing Regina's attention back.
"I can see you're busy, but the class would be Saturday, from one in the afternoon. The greenhouse is next to the flowershop, if you would meet us there?"
Ino-chan waved at Sasuke, but he wasn't looking.
"Later." She heard Yuina-san say. "Sasuke-kun isn't feeling good today."
There was a miffed little sound, but no protest.
"We will see you there, I'm looking forward to it. Have a wonderful day, Yamanaka-san, Ino-chan." Regina bowed, and looked to the crowd and bowed again, "shitsureishimasu."
They made it back home in time to shove the boys into nicer clothes, which was good because not twenty minutes later there was a polite but firm rap on the floor and a very unapologetic 'shitsureishimasu'.
"The etiquette teacher." She advised the boys. "We're all doing this together. If we rely on each other as a team, we just might live through this and become better and stronger as a family."
"What if our teamwork is bad?" Naruto asked, looking a little perturbed in his cute kimono.
She looked at him. She wanted to reassure him. "If she's anything like other etiquette teachers I've had, she will destroy our wills to live."
Then she went to the genkan, checking that everything was perfectly clean. It was, because the Hokage had cleaners in here literally every day.
She opened the door. Maybe her other experiences weren't indicative of etiquette teachers everywhere, and this one was nice.
An impossibly tiny and severe-looking woman was on the other side. Her kimono was perfectly wrapped and reserved in colors. Her updo was impeccable, and was fixed with what Regina was sure was one of those sharp kanzashi like she had, with beautiful natural pearls dangling down on golden thread.
Her face was the picture of genteel placidity, but for the quirk in her eyebrow that indicated some displeasure.
'Called it.'
"I am Tanimoto Yuuka. I am pleased to be your etiquette teacher, referred by his Majesty, the Daimyo of the Land of Fire. It is good to meet you." The woman bowed, gracefully but with a steel spine.
"I am Jiraiya Regina, daughter of Jiraiya of the Sannin. I am pleased to meet you, and eager to learn from you, Tanimoto-sensei."
Regina bowed, but not nearly as low. It was weird, both being in the position of outranking someone, but with the added complication of a student/teacher relationship, which tilted the balance. She was pretty sure she hadn't gotten the exact angle right.
There was some evaluation in Tanimoto-sensei's eyes.
"Thank you for having me in your home." The woman said crisply, stepping into the genkan. "If you would guide me, we will begin your classes in the living room."
'Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.'
Regina gave her winningest smile, and led the woman into the living room.
"It was good of you to involve your children." Tanimoto-sensei said slowly and approvingly, walking in a tiny circle around Sasuke and Naruto. "Their behavior will reflect on you and your father, regardless of their occupation."
To their credit, the boys stood perfectly still, just watching Regina for any hint of how to behave.
'Smart kids.'
"We will begin with self-introductions, as well as a discussion regarding your position relative to others, and how to determine social rankings in any given situation. In order to behave properly, you must know your audience." Tanimoto-sensei stopped next to Regina. "Rejina-hime, your introduction was adequate. Let us see how your sons do."
She looked at Naruto and Sasuke. "I am Tanimoto Yuuka, and I will be your instructor for proper behavior. It is good to meet you." She bowed, not terribly low.
'Technically the age difference tilts it way in her favor, even though their family station is as high as mine. I only got more respect because I'm an adult.'
"I am Uzumaki..anou." Naruto looked at her, panicked. "Am I supposed to say my old name?"
"That's an excellent question." Tanimoto-sensei looked at Regina. "Am I correct in assuming that both boys were technically subsumed into the Jiraiya clan upon their adoption?"
"Yes." Regina confirmed. "That would be correct. Upon adulthood, they are able to choose which family name they prefer. But for now, all records of them would be under the name Jiraiya, not…" she looked at her boys. "Their birth family names."
Luckily, she had told them about that earlier. It had seemed relevant.
"So you introduce yourself as Jiraiya…" Tanimoto-sensei prodded.
"Jiraiya Naruto." He bowed quickly, probably the same distance he did in class.
Tanimoto-sensei didn't even blink. She just looked at Sasuke.
"I am Jiraiya Sasuke, and I am very pleased to meet you." He bowed a little bit lower, to what Regina thought was probably a more accurate assessment. Sasuke had had the benefit of being born into a clan and had probably picked up some of the necessary skills just by observation.
Tanimoto-sensei hummed.
"We will have to start from the very beginning, I see." She beckoned Regina around the room, to a position just in front of the boys. "Let us begin."
Two hours later, Tanimoto-sensei left, promising to be back every day until they were up to snuff.
"That wasn't so bad." Regina said, feeling slightly suspicious. Maybe her prior teachers were just dicks.
"What are you talking about, kaa-chan? That was awful." Naruto whined, slinking down to the floor. "My back hurts from bowing and I didn't do anything right."
"You'll get there." She reassured him. "That's the point. She will make you do it over and over again until it's perfect every time. You can't get a bad grade. She won't leave until it's impossible."
She sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Speaking of, Naruto, you should go get some training clothes. I found you a tutor for the Academy, and he will be taking you for training after dinner."
"What about me?" Sasuke demanded.
She ruffled his fluffy head. "You're coming with me to tea ceremony class. Gai-san will be there."
He looked at her suspiciously, but nodded.
"I think you should keep the kimono on for now, though. What do we want for dinner?" She thought about the options. There was a cute little cafe she wanted to try.
"-Not ramen." She cut off Naruto, with a cocked brow. "Sandaime-sama is taking you there for lunch tomorrow. You can wait."
"I want something fresh." Sasuke said, looking down at his clothes. "Something not messy."
"Kozora cafe it is, then!" She announced. "Naruto, make sure your kit is ready and that you have everything you need in your bag."
He skidded out, sliding on the wooden floor of the kitchen in his socks. His shinobi gear was dangling out of his bag.
"Don't lose it." She warned. "I can replace it if they get damaged, but they're too expensive to just let fall out of your bag."
"Naruto, just that shirt costs like 5000ryo." Sasuke pointed out.
His eyes went wide, and he crammed everything into his bag and zipped it shut.
"Okay, we're doing things- training, tea ceremony, manners. Team Jiraiya!" She gave Naruto a little high-five, and Sasuke followed up. "We're going to be the best there ever was, because…" she thought about it for a minute.
"We have to, really." She shrugged. "Let's go eat."
Ebisu-san came into the restaurant as they were eating, and she beckoned for him to take a seat. He did, looking at Naruto. He ordered a water and sipped at it while they finished up.
"I'm told that you will be my student for the foreseeable future." Ebisu-san said, sounding very nonchalant and not at all like he'd been desperately wheedling at the Hokage this morning for a prestigious pupil.
Naruto, fresh from two hours' worth of etiquette lessons, managed to wait until after he'd chewed to dot at his mouth with a napkin to say. "And the future Hokage."
Ebisu-san took that without any reaction, she'd told him earlier anyway. "That would be very respectable for me, if my student could achieve such a thing."
He looked at Sasuke.
Sasuke was not interested, just eating his pile of tomatoes she'd had to specially order for him as a side. To be fair, he had his eyes on a particular role model and he didn't seem like the type of kid to settle.
"If you're finished, Naruto-kun, I have a training field reserved and we should get going." Ebisu-san stood.
Naruto finished his chicken, grabbed his bag, and gave Regina a kiss on the cheek before running out of the restaurant.
"So, we're doing tea now?" Sasuke asked, sounding bored.
She grinned at him. "Oh, I'm sure you'll be the best at tea ceremony, Sasuke-kun. If you're finished, too, we can go meet Gai-san."
He popped the rest of his tomatoes into his mouth and slid out of his seat.
She paid the bill and they left, with him holding her hand the whole way to Nakayama-sensei's house.
Gai-san met them outside, and gave Sasuke his best thumbs up and smile combo.
Sasuke actually smiled back, which was no minor thing.
'Yeah, I gotta ask Gai. I hope like hell he somehow has the time.'
They were still in the 'matching decor' part of the course, which was evidently going to take the rest of Regina's natural life.
'Maybe that's why Hyuuga-san is still here. It's impossible to pass.'
But she was determined.
Tonight, the theme was for the fanciest of tea gatherings- a full chaji. Which meant that they had to pick out a full season-appropriate kaiseki meal as well as the tatejiku and flower decorations.
"It is in fall, at noon." Nakayama-sensei said, walking around the room like a caged tiger in a meat locker. "Do your best."
'Fall season foods are chirimen, shishamo (both of which I hate), chestnuts… what else. Shit.'
She couldn't make a meal plan based on that. But if it was fall, she wouldn't be doing sakura tea. That was for spring. It should be hot, as well. Oh, maybe umecha? No, that technically wasn't allowed.
"Kaa-chan." Sasuke elbowed her side. "What should we write?"
"Saury?" She asked, "That's fall, isn't it?"
He nodded, and wrote it down. She looked at it.
'Oh, I'm going to bring him to things more often. His handwriting is actually nice. Very useful. He's the cutest secretary.'
"Tsukemono would be… yuzu based?" she tapped her finger on the table.
He grunted.
"Shishamo, chirimen… shinmai a sweet using jagaimo, kuri, and apples… a tartlet?"
He didn't know what that meant. She drew it for him, pointing to the different elements. Chestnut paste, with sliced and stewed apples and pre-baked pumpkin slices to be added on top in a pattern to the top of a thin pastry crust.
Sasuke nodded, and filled it all out.
She looked at it. He'd added a lot more details than she'd given.
'Oh, right, his mom took these classes and his family was rich and old. He probably knows some of the right dishes.'
Though grilled saury with grated daikon and ginger didn't particularly appeal to her, tbh. It wasn't like she actually had to eat it today.
"Roasted barley tea sounds like a good complement." She said softly. "The thick and thin matcha are a given."
He nodded.
"Now we need a visual theme. Traditional fall imagery is… well there's the changing of the colors." She puzzled it out. "It's still furo season, not ro, because it's not that cold."
'And during the middle of the day. You know, she didn't say the purpose of this meeting or our guests. Maybe we have to determine that for ourselves?'
To be honest, that was the fanciest kind possible, for people that were above or at your social position. In her position, for Regina that would have to be… either clan heads, the Hokage, the Daimyo or his family, and some better-known lords. Maybe a foreign one.
'Crap, this is gonna be fancy.' Regina eyed the women around the table and wished that she didn't have to learn everything on Insanity Level.
"Have a decorative radish cut to look like billowing flame and dyed, and decorative kabocha puree on the plate." She instructed Sasuke, gesturing out a drawing. "In a circle, for safe returns. We're having the Hokage and Daimyo over."
He gave her a look.
"This is fancy." She reminded him. "We're also having… Tsunade-hime, Jiraiya-tousan, and…"
'Orochimaru?' her mind giggled. 'Complete the set.'
"The Daimyo's wife." She finished. "If Tsunade-hime and o-tousan cannot come, then Koharu-sama and Homura-sama."
'These are all people I could reasonably expect to have in my tea house, to be honest. And Dad would be tickled silly that we invited him and used it.'
Then she got up and went to the cabinet, avoiding the seasonal shelves entirely. She was on a mission.
The scroll she wanted was about one hundred years old. She'd seen it last week at the last lesson on Friday, but couldn't remember what the handle looked like.
'Come on, come on, will of fire.' She chanted. 'I want to beat Hyuuga-san's face into space.'
She located it, just another hand reached for it. She slipped under and pulled her prize away, looking up to lock eyes with...oh. Mitarashi-san.
"Hey!" She said, holding the scroll close to her chest. "I didn't notice you were here today, I'm sorry. How are you?"
Mitarashi-san looked down on the scroll and up to Regina's face, like 'Really?' But she didn't go there.
"Not surprising, seems you're occupied with the kid." Mitarashi gestured back to Sasuke with her head. "It's my hobby. How long have you been coming?"
"Only a week." Regina said, a bit bashfully. "But I'm trying my best."
Mitarashi-san hummed. "Well. If you want to practice sometime, let me know. Work is boring."
"I will definitely do that." Regina promised. "Can I invite you over to practice next month?"
Mitarashi-san just nodded, and slipped another scroll out of the cabinet. "Ah, this one is good enough. Saaa, I think you took the best one."
"I know." Regina blinked. "That was the point."
She laughed and walked away, leaving Regina standing there. So she went back next to Sasuke with her prize.
'And now, a flower.'
Well, if her tatejiku was a copy of a poem written by Senju Hashirama on the nature of shinobi, that could be… any number of things.
She went out to the other room where the flowers were stored.
'Okay. Yuina said that chrysanthemums meant either, like truth or imperial. Imperial could be good- that's the flower and color of the Japanese Imperial family back home. But truth might be better in this context.'
She looked at the last couple of vases.
'The red spider lily is gorgeous, but I'm pretty sure it basically means death or suffering. Cosmos don't have any meaning in hanakotoba, but they're a fall flower.'
She thought for a moment. A couple of women picked up some cosmos. Mitarashi-san went right for the red spider lily and left. She wondered who the hell Mitarashi-san was inviting over for tea.
'...I'm pretty sure I'd get more mileage on saying there's truth in Hashirama's ruminations on the nobility of shinobi than anything else.'
She brought two of them back, big and white and fluffy-petaled. Now the vase? Shit. There was a surprising amount of work in this.
'Everything means something.' She coached herself.
A black and orange lacquered vase caught her eye. It implied flames as well as elegance.
'Normally, fire has a bad meaning. But not necessarily here. Fire means home and fighting spirit. Eat that, Hyuuga-san.'
She prepared, letting Sasuke watch her finesse every aspect.
Gai's presentation was, as usual, very direct and clean. Cosmos with decorative sheaves of grass in a basket, like they had just been harvested, and a painting of a tree during fall. She loved it, and told him so.
Sasuke just sat down on the floor in seiza, evidently willing the thing to be over.
When they went around the room, she admired the compositions. Everyone's menu was fairly similar, to be honest. Hers was only different in that she'd sketched out the presentations on the plate, added a pumpkin puree for decoration and added fall element, and a tart. They were decidedly European additions, to be honest, combined with the more traditional Japanese elements on the plate.
'But why the hell not? I'm the only one who has that extra perspective, I may as well use it for my benefit.'
When she got back to her presentations, she noted that Sasuke was already reading the comments.
"Any notes for me?" She asked, kind of curious.
He sniffed. "They like it. Except one person, who wrote just 'almost acceptable' on it."
'I probably don't need to guess who that was.'
She looked over to Hyuuga-san, who slightly sneered in her direction. Her impeccable display got full marks, as usual.
'Someday I will crush you like a bug, Hyuuga-san.' Regina vowed.
"Gai-san, were your comments good?" She asked, and got a thumbs up in return.
"Rejina-hime, I believe we are improving at a good rate." He gestured to both displays. They did look markedly more cohesive than the last two classes before.
"But what if we could improve at a great rate?" she asked, leaning closer. "Mitarashi-san has extended an invitation of sorts, to practice together. When my tea house is built in a few weeks…" she let the thought trail off.
He picked it up, just as she thought he would. "We would be able to practice certain things on our own! Yosh."
"But who will our guests be?" He asked.
She shrugged and tapped Sasuke's shoulder. "Sasuke-kun, do you like matcha?"
Gai walked them home, and she sent Sasuke inside for a bath. Naruto-kun would be home any time, and he liked to linger in there. Doing what, she didn't want to ask.
"Hey, Gai-san? Could I ask you for some advice, and maybe a favor?" She asked, feeling a little awkward. It wasn't like she'd known him that long. Asking for favors was a bit tactless.
But Sasuke had made it very clear that he would not let it stand to be ignored. And he had needs she couldn't meet.
"Yosh! Of course, Rejina-hime. What is it you would like to ask me?"
She tried to keep her hands out of her hair.
'What am I getting stressed for? It's Gai. If he doesn't want to do it, he'll say no, and he's not a lunatic.'
"Sasuke-kun has been having some trouble adjusting to things." She sat down on one of the decorative wooden benches. "Since he woke up. It's not surprising, but he's…"
"Scared." Gai supplied, nodding and sitting down.
She nodded. "Yeah. He wants to train a lot. I'm not sure how much is healthy for him. His body is still recovering. Naruto just got a tutor, and he's also feeling left behind."
"That sounds difficult."
"It is." Regina agreed. "I'm not a shinobi- he seems to think that's the only way to be safe. He's not rejecting me, but… it's not what it could be. He distrusts people. Thinks some of them can't help him."
"He's taken up a sudden interest in medical jutsu." She supplied. "Those are the books he wants me to buy for him right now."
"That's… good?" Gai seemed a little perplexed.
"Is that not usual for someone who experienced trauma?" she asked. "He's obviously fixated on you and Tsunade-hime as mentors. So he's pushing that way- he wants to learn taijutsu and medical ninjutsu. Evidently he found out how impossible curing him should have been."
"Ahhh." to her surprise, he didn't sound annoyed. He sounded happy about it. "So Sasuke-kun needs a mentor."
"I'm afraid of who he'll find on his own, if I told him he couldn't have one. To be honest, I'm surprised he didn't accost you at class to demand your attention." She admitted. "I'm sure you're really busy, but if you have time sometimes, I'd feel better knowing that it was you who might be checking on him, or giving him advice."
"Rejina-hime, are you asking if I will teach your son the noble art of taijutsu?" he turned to her. His eyes were sparkling.
'Oh, he's much more excited about this than I'd anticipated.'
"Yes." She answered, glad for the relief. "Is that ok? I'm sure that I'm asking for a lot. If you can't do it or don't want to, please tell me."
"I want to, Rejina-hime!" he jumped up. "I have wanted a student of my own for the longest time, to impart the lessons of genius of hard work!"
"Sasuke does like to work hard." She said, smiling. "I'm pretty sure he's been trying to make up his own extra homework and make the teachers grade it."
Gai turned to her and laughed.
"I promise you this, Rejina-hime. You will not regret trusting me with your friendship or Sasuke-kun's training."
"I already know that, Gai." She leaned back into the backrest of the bench. "I never worried about that at all."
"Anou, Hokage-sama."
His mini-kage tapped on the side of the door politely, to get his attention.
"Yes, Rejina-hime?" he asked, putting down the reports he was reading.
She looked a bit concerned. "Hokage-sama, I believe that Hatake-san is not going to stop pursuing a meeting. He seems very, very invested in making sure you hear what he has to say."
That wasn't exactly a surprise. What was a surprise was that Kakashi-kun was the only one off his list of 'no meetings, ever' people that she was complaining about. She'd even somehow gotten Danzou to make a series of appointments on days that didn't exist.
"He is that persistent?" he asked, getting out his pipe.
She nodded, looking a little ashamed. "He has come to my desk at least once every day for the past two weeks, providing progressively more documentation and increasingly sophisticated presentations. He will not take polite rejection, and refuses to be misdirected or distracted. I believe that he has made it his singular goal." She swallowed, placing her hands in front of her body in that defensive posture he'd only recently gotten her out of. "I also believe… I now understand what you meant in our earlier conversations regarding his approach to people and untenable situations."
He felt like sighing. So he did, putting his head in his hands.
"I suppose you had better prepare a rebuttal for this well-planned presentation, then, Rejina-hime."
Eventually he'd have to give way and let Kakashi-kun have his say (again, though the last few times he admittedly had not had any sort of presentation or plan beyond insubordination). Whether he took the latest refusal or not, he couldn't delay the inevitable forever. If Kakashi was going to be this relentless, they'd just have to deal with it.
'Though it does very much hammer in the point that his friends made.' He thought, with no amusement. No one even vaguely well-adjusted would be tormenting a civilian like this about an answer they'd already gotten.
It wasn't her fault that he'd accidentally set her out to incur his Jounin's wrath. He couldn't let this keep up. At that rate, Kakashi-kun might just start camping outside of her house and finally terrify her right out of town, leaving her defenseless and liable to get picked up by any number of dangerous persons. Rejina-hime was slow to give trust and quick to revoke it.
"Did we tell him why he was being removed?" She asked, fiddling with her fingers. "Or, what was he told?"
"I told him he was removed by order of the Hokage." he said, "and normally that would be enough."
Rejina hesitated.
"Was it connected to the meeting you had with Might-san, your son, and Yuuhi-san?" She bowed her head and bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry if I'm being invasive. I just don't want to accidentally set him on someone else. He… doesn't seem to be taking it well at all."
Every single one of his employees was a singularly unstable, twitchy oddball. This is why he'd never be able to give up smoking. Even Rejina hadn't used to do that. Hatake must have been subjecting her to some of his particular focused 'charm' in the last week.
"It was." He allowed. "They expressed some concerns. But that knowledge does not-" he held up a finger- "cannot leave our confidence for those reasons."
"Understood, Hokage-sama. I have prepared materials for him, may I schedule him in?" Big green eyes bored into him. Her hands twitched again.
"No." he said, a little too quickly.
Her eyes narrowed at him. "Why not, Hokage-sama?"
He didn't really have an answer for that. He just really, really did not want to have this meeting. The last three had been painful enough. And Kakashi-kun wasn't actually likely to take this as a no, either.
"I'll schedule it as soon as I can." He said, sighing. "Don't do it without me."
She bowed and left quietly, shutting the door behind her.