From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code
The Isis ,
Cheese Floor

XX April, 2013

Dance all Night!

The flying terms are closing out soon, and the rowing races will be on us, but in the meantime #

RillaWatch is going strong. This week we spotted her in some striking and strappy green heels enjoying the iconic tradition of the Cheese Floor.

So cheese is falling a bit out of vogue, now, and the pub isn't what it once was. It's a fun student tradition that deserves to live on alongside end-of-exams soakings, May Day, and the weird rivalry between Keble and whatever college it was whose chickens they nicked. (See back issues of The Isis for reference.) Honestly, a night of corny back-dated music and drunken revelry is exactly no weirder than Morris Dancing. In fact, here at The Isisl, we think it's superior!

It absolutely deserves to be experienced by Rilla Blythe, student abroad and unfamiliar with all our national quirks and foibles. What better way to relax from the stress of a degree than by dancing the night away? And judging from those shoes, Miss Blythe isn't lacking in taste, so we say dance all night – and think of Oxford fondly!

[There follows a spread of photos from Atik's Cheese Floor evening featuring Rilla and her Oxford friends.]

From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter:JrdnMRoyalCorresp

The Daily Mail,
XX April, 2013

Cinderilla surprised by Ken's stealthy sidekicks

Cinderilla might be good enough to bed his highness, but she's otherwise found wanting, it's revealed as she only this month is meeting the prince's close friends. And that under circumstances that strongly suggest she was never supposed to meet them at all!

[Blurry, badly lit photo of Rilla arriving back at her home, obviously late at night.]

The far-from-clandestine convening of the prince with his old Cheam comrades-in-arms has us convinced they were never supposed to meet the Mitzi at all! But who's not good enough? Her – or them?

A quick whip around the neighbourhood for opinions has garnered The Daily Mail several noise complaints, at least two long-standing parking grievances and at least one or two neighbours convinced the prince was genuinely enjoying himself. Said next-door-neighbour Alice Cooper, long-time cat-sitter of popular royal moggie, George, 'It's really heartening to know even our future monarch sometimes indulges in a night at home with good friends. It's such a human thing to do.' And perennial George-defender and former lecturer David Malcolm backs her up; 'Good to know students will be students, whatever their pedigree.'

Obviously, the problem is not with the royal friends, which makes sense given the boys' longstanding history with the prince. We are forced to conclude, therefore, that Cinderilla is little more than a good roll in the hay and was never intended to meet these esteemed friends, though it's always possible that his highness was trying to spare the Mitzi's delicate sensibilities from a night of orgiastic debauchery. After all, with boarding school backgrounds, one thing generally leads to another…

Now it's all eyes on Ken's Barbie to see just what, exactly, she makes of these friends. Will they join the neglected ranks of Lady Toppy in social exile, or will the Mitzi's generous heart expand to include not just princelings and fellow colonial classmate, but also her paramour's friends. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it took three, or six, or even seven to make a relationship work – much less a (possible?) royal marriage.

London Telegraph
Letters to the Editor
XX April 2013

Dear Sirs,

I thoroughly enjoyed the photos you printed of the Royal Family attending Christmas Day services in your paper. I can't understand why you posted these next to photos of Rilla Blythe outside a random Canadian church. She is nothing to the public, and certain nothing to our Royal Family. Why your paper continues with this charade that she is of any importance to anyone in the Royal Family is beyond me.

I did wonder why you never publish photographs of the Prince of Wales attending church in Oxford while he is studying. My friend, Mrs Sloane, lit upon the likely reason: he's not regularly attending church. The Prince of Wales was a regular in his worship as a boy, and of course worship would have a core part of his time in the services. I should have realised there was shenanigans afoot when there was no coverage of his church attendance in New York. No doubt then, as in now, his current "lodger" Miss Blythe is preventing him from attending.

No one is falling for that ruse that they are simply house mates. No doubt she is tempting him with her wanton ways as those type of women do. Her real sin, however, is keeping him from Sunday worship.

Its time you desist in publishing any further articles on this harlot. I noticed a recent article suggesting that she has become close to The Princess Royal. Preposterous. We all know that Her Royal Highness has more taste and class than to befriend a common tramp like Rilla Blythe. Perhaps when this interloper ceases to receive publicity, she will realise the futility of her ambitions and move on to the sort of life a girl like that deserves. You can assist by not allowing her image in your paper anymore.

I trust this ends the matter and we can look forward to articles about The Prince of Wales and Lady Henrietta de Dumas' growing romance.

Sincerely

(Mrs) H B Donnell

A Vision in Style
Fashion Blog
XX April 2013

Here comes the dress, so gorgeous that everyone will want to be a bride

If last week's horrid weather made you forget its Spring, the new seasons bridal fashions from New York's finest designers leave you in no doubt. They collections are totes adorbes, so much so that I'd consider getting married myself. You know, if I had a partner and was in looooove. Luckily us singletons can live vicariously through those who fill our celebrity papers.

And sometimes, your wedding will be there just because of who your sister is dating. Y'all know who I mean. I've never met her, and don't know a lot about her, but I am super excited to see Nan Blythe marry her long-time partner Jerry this summer …and to see her sister at a public engagement with her royal boyfriend. Squee!

What to wear when you're just a normal person who's wedding will be splashed all over the papers because of your sister? Luckily New York's finest have come to the rescue. Here's a selection that will give Nan all that inner sophistication a bride dreams of without breaking the bank…. at least no more than any other wedding dress.

(picture right of strapless dress with lace at the top)

Silver metallic embroidery and lace feature on this strapless design. Timeless yet modern at the same time . The mesh design at the top of what would otherwise be completely strapless gives an air of sophistication while maintaining decorum.

(picture, left, of lace bodice and tulle skirt.)

If you're a regular reader of my blog you'll know that I do not get along with meringue style fluffy skirts. And yet, for this dress, I will make an exception. The tulle skirt and delicate lace bodice, so fine it looks like its spun sugar is completely delicious. Nan also has the figure that could carry off the fluffiness of this making her look like she's floating on air.

(picture right, fairytale dress with sequinned veil)

And for my third choice…. The sequinned veil, the delicate scattering of crystals on the bodice with not one too many and a skirt that could have been fitted by the angels themselves. If I was choosing for Nan, this is what she'd walk down the aisle in.

Are you getting married with Spring or Summer? What style of dress are you wearing? Send me your photos- we all love to catch a glimpse of a beautiful bride!

(If you can't picture the dresses for yourself and want to see the style of a 2013 Spring wedding search for One Fab Day Marchesa Bridal 2013)