December 1867
Satsuma and Choshu had their audience with the emperor. They asked Tokugawa Yoshinobu, the shogun to abdicate and made an official imperial arrest warrant against him, allowing the use of violence. We knew it was a fake but the imperialists grew even more confident. They stationed an army inside Kyoto, asking for the reestablishment of the imperial law.
The Shogun, still in Osaka with the elite troops and the French, asked the emperor for an audience as well, to show him the warrant and its fakeness and be confered the imperial trust once more. But for the moment, the palace remained silent.
Chizuru and I have been married for a month now and I was pleased to see that appart from us living our relationship in broad daylight and not hiding like criminals, nothing had changed. I switched rooms with Tetsuya to take my quarters in the captains area. It was more convenient for us since the room was bigger and we could organize both our belongings better.
Chizuru was taking her doctor position very seriously, attending the ills and the wounded just like before but also reading more and more book to get as much knowledge as she could. Even if Matsumoto-sensei said she was officially a doctor now, she, on the contrary, wasn't so confident in her abilities. She was trying to improve all the time. She was doing a good job since there were a lot less ill than before due to all her hygiene mesures and her knowledge.
Even if she was now allowed to dress as a woman, I was still seeing her very often in her hakama. She resumed to take some fighting lessons and she was feeling more at ease in a hakama to train. Every morning, I was repeating my moves in the courtyard and she was at the dojo for Nagakura's lessons of Hokushin Itto Ryû. She was learning with Toudou before but Toudou was now sleeping during the day, making these trainings difficult. I was happy to see her with a sword in hand again. She completely stopped after Tairô's death but I guess all the recent events with the demons made her will come back. Not that she could stop Kazama if he decided to fight her but that was my job anyway.
I was married to her, sharing the same room but still, I wasn't seeing her as much as I would have desired. As captain of the third division of the Shinsengumi, I resumed my patrols but she wasn't tagging along anymore and I missed how it used to be. She was waking up, going to train in the dojo, attending the ills, the wounded, reading books, helping around the compound when she could and then... after the evening dinner, when we could have a bit of privacy together... She was going to see Sannan.
She was still very involved into the researchs about the Ochimizu and she truly believed in a cure. She told me they made some tests with different animal bloods and herbs... I was glad that she was so passionate about something but I couldn't share her enthusiasm. Plus, I was feeling that something was wrong. Sannan was looking bad now, his eyes always hungry, reflecting madness... I was afraid he could hurt Chizuru.
We were eating together with all the captains as usual. Chizuru was there too, smiling and laughing with Nagakura and Harada and I realized how much I was missing her. Spending a bit of my nights with her wasn't enough. When she was usually coming back from the Rasetsu quarters, I was already sleeping. Of course, I always had a light sleep and she was waking me up so I could ask her about her day and be with her a bit. But usually, she was too tired anyway and was falling asleep nearly immediately. I was with her but I wasn't. So close yet so far. I missed her.
After the meal, I made a bit of tea and drank it outside our room, feeling the cold night wind clean my spirit and body from all my sins. I could feel the frozen air penetrate my bones and contrast with the hot tea flowing down my throat. It was a calming sensation.
I heard her approach before I could even see her. Her steps were so recognizable to me.
« Hajime ? » she asked in the darkness.
« Ha. » i answered to guide her steps towards me.
She got closer and I could see her face smile at me. A smile filled with love. Gods, i hoped she would smile at me like that for the rest of my life. Her eyes were sparkling with affection and excitement and I knew immediately that she had something to ask.
« You're not with Sannan ? » i asked casually.
« I needed to speak to you. » she said, leaning forward to kiss me.
We were kissing every day now but not like this. That kiss was awakening all the desire lingering in me, all the want I had for her and all the pain of missing her. I wanted to part from her lips to know what she needed to speak to me about but I couldn't, bewitched by my own wife. Gods, I loved her so much...
She parted and came sitting next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. A few snowflakes were dancing in the wind and we watched them peacefully.
« I don't know what you want » i eventually said « but you sure want to obtain it. »
« It's not something i want. » she chuckled « i just felt like you deserved to know something. »
I frowned. What could I deserve to know ? She couldn't be pregnant. Since i came back from the Guardians, I made sure not to let myself take the risk.
« We made some discoveries with Sannan. » she continued « the Ochimizu isn't a medecine. It's blood. »
« Blood ? » i frowned even more, not liking the turn that this conversation was taking.
« Yeah. It's the blood of a demon coming from western countries. I read books about it, they call them « vampires » and they need human blood to survive. »
I didn't know if it was making sense. Well, true, the Rasetsu were suffering bloodlust but...
« The Rasetsu are called Ghouls in western countries. They don't have the lifespan and powers of true pure-blood vampires and they become mad after a time. But they still need blood. »
« Why are you telling me all this ? » i asked, plunging my eyes into hers and lifting her chin to force her since she was trying so hard to avoid my gaze.
« Ghouls can escape the madness by drinking blood of pure blood vampires. » she said « Sannan wants to try with Oni blood. »
« You mean your blood, right ? » i asked « No. This conversation is over. This whole collaboration is over. »
« Hajime ! » she said « it's not a big deal ! I heal, remember ? We may be on the verge of discovering a cure to the madness ! »
« I said no, Chizuru. » i said firmly.
« I wasn't asking for permission. » she replied, as firmly as I spoke.
« You can't let Sannan take a single drop of your blood. » I said, my voice filled with anger that was fueled with my fear « it's too dangerous. If he sees you bleed, he could hurt you, badly ! We don't know how much you can really heal ! And I'm not ready to discover it ! »
« Then I will pour the blood myself and bring it to Sannan in sealed vials ! » she argued.
« You couldn't do it. » i said harshly « You could hurt yourself. »
« Then... do it ? » she asked in a low voice.
My blood froze and I felt my heart shatter into pieces.
« Chizuru... Please don't ask this from me... » i murmured, wounded by the only thought of it.
« But you could do it properly, be sure i'm not hurt... » she explained before seeing my afflicted gaze.
« I murder people with my swords, Chizuru. They're killing instruments. » i whispered in a woeful voice. « The only thought of them entering your flesh... It's unbearable... »
She stayed silent, realizing how painful it was for me to imagine this and how much she was asking of me. The snowflakes were still dancing in front of us and she grabbed my shaking hand.
« Yamazaki is good with needles. » she said eventually « that way I wouldn't be hurt. I'm doing this, Hajime. It could save lives. But I really would like to have your consent, it means a lot to me. Needles are okay, right ? »
I nodded, unable to speak anyway. I guess needles were the best option.
« You're stubborn as hell, you know that ? » i finally said.
« I'm a Saito. » she chuckled and i couldn't help but smile a little. She indeed was a Saito. A very stubborn one.
We went to ask Yamazaki for his help and he agreed even if he was intimately sharing my opinion on this subject. I stayed outside during the operation, though. I didn't wanted to see my wife drained of her blood. When they were finished, Chizuru stepped outside, along with Yamazaki. I didn't see the vials, I didn't wanted to. They probably were in her obi or sleeve.
« By the way, Saito. » said Yamazaki and we both turned to him « Saito-san not Saito-sensei, sorry... Hum... What you asked me in September, you know, when you were still with Ito... I found it. Not sure if you still wanted that information but... Well, now you know. Good night. »
I thanked him and wished him good night as well before looking at the snowflakes once more. I extended my hand and caught one but it melt instantly on my palm. I stared at the little water drop and reported my gaze on Chizuru.
« I also need to talk to you. » i said.