Author's note:

Merry Christmas, y'all!

I am really glad the timing is so nice to make this chapter to be my Christmas gift to you so I would get pardoned for the cliffhanger I put you through in the last one.

Thank you, Debbie, for your lovely and kind of prophetic review because yes – the timing is the topic of the chapter. ;)

As usual, I want to thank greatly to my Beta, Randy!

And a very special thanks go to my dear surrogate sister Athina.

I want to wish Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you who are with me for so many years, you're nothing but amazing and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Have a great read!

Disclaimer:

I do not own NCIS or its characters.

Christmas Meeting – Chapter 39

Ziva David hated hospitals. She loathed them because the possibilities of a beloved person leaving her on this world alone had always increased whenever she found herself in one. In no way, though, she meant to disrespect the miraculous work of doctors and kind care of the nurses. The hospital personnel had always been excluded from the reasons why she detested places like hospitals and contrarily, had been the reason why her presence became tolerable.

Her red-rimmed eyes, swollen from the endless streams of tears and lack of sleep in general, watched mutely the commotion behind the glass door that separated the operating theatre accessible only for hospital personnel and the waiting area where the families and friends of the people who were undergoing some kind of operation awaited the news about the patient in suspense.

She detested being the one behind the glass door in the waiting area, idling and having no update. Every excruciating second without clear information, dragging the waiting up to the maddening despair was a personal Hell for her. If she could and would be allowed, she would burst inside the operating theatre, take the tools reserved only for experienced doctors and conducted the operation all by herself.

For it wasn't just anyone undergoing an operation in there. It was a man she would rather die trying to save then watching him die. A man she would rip her heart out for and give him on a silver platter if words weren't enough to prove the amount of affection and devotion to him. A man she loved with every fibre of her being so much it hurt. Anthony DiNozzo Junior.

However, blindness towards her own guilt didn't obscure her vision. She was very much aware of what emotions had driven Tony to the arms of danger, culminating with a reckless behaviour that led her and the others into the waiting area in anticipation of good news about his condition after the gunshot wound he had suffered. But so far, she hadn't let it to consume her, her hopes about him recovering quickly yet needed to be shattered.

Still, it was a nightmare she had to live though, piling up the worries, blame, fear and sorrow connected to both the shooting and the failed engagement. Her world had just turned upside down, the Fate forcing her to accept the mortality of the man she loved. Her most desperate hope at the very moment was that she would be given the opportunity to talk to him again, confess her love to him and accept his proposal.

It was remarkable to realize that one circumstance like this could help her to bring a certain peace into her mind and heart. Suddenly, she saw clearly the pain she had inflicted by her flight last night to both of them and it facilitated for her to understand and accept the condition of her pregnancy. A paradox she didn't anticipated, considering her state of mind.

She wasn't grateful for it, she would rather deny herself the 'pleasure', but it strengthened her in a strange way she couldn't quite explain. Her defences were reinforced, protecting the baby inside her womb against the guilt that plagued her, albeit never fully swallowing her. Despite the fearful tremor her body was seized with, she stood firmly and didn't dare to back down or give up on her hopes.

A soothing hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed it to gain her attention. For the first time since they had arrived here, she tore her eyes off the glass door and the events behind it and turned around to face no one else but a careworn Abby. Her complexion was pale, stressing the bloodshot eyes full of haunting fear and her bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold the tears back.

Both women immediately hugged each other for comfort and to deal with the constant feeling of worry. Burt, who had driven Abby here, gave a greeting nod to Ziva and before he went to sit down next to already present Gibbs, he clenched his fists in an encouraging manner which Ziva appreciated with a smile she didn't even have to pry to her mouth.

McGee who kept pacing around the waiting area like a tiger in a cage and Bishop sitting on the floor with her legs crossed with a laptop in her lap as she tried to curb her concerns about Tony's life, gave the two women a moment alone before approaching them. Abby secretively touched Ziva's belly and then pulled away to prompt a silent question to assure herself that nothing happened to the baby.

Ziva smiled a little in the response and slightly nodded to disperse her fears about her yet-to-be-born offspring. Luckily, the baby was okay and she hadn't registered any sign of potential or threatening damage despite all the stress and anxiety that kept washing over her in large waves. Her womb operated as some sort of a shrine for the creature inside who tirelessly fought for her or his life, untouched and resilient to any external influence or powers.

Abby was then greeted by Ellie and McGee, followed by a tight and assuring hugs. Naturally, she started to ask questions what had exactly happened and if they had any fresh news about Tony's condition. Before anyone could provide an answer, distressed Senior turned around the corner and joined her in the interest to find out how his son was faring.

Sick with worry, he briefly greeted with everyone in the waiting area and engaged Ziva in a hug, whispering words of comfort into her ear, although he was scared to death for his son's life. In return, she briefly informed him and everyone else in the room that Tony was currently in the operating theatre in the care of the surgeons who were working on extracting the bullet from his leg.

She couldn't provide any explanation as to why Tony had gotten shot, though and so Tim and Ellie took charge of the flowing conversation to share what they knew about it. Ziva, who had spoken with the SWAT team leader earlier when she first arrived to the hospital, turned away from them, her knees weakening due to the wave of sickness that washed over her. It had been enough for her to hear it once but she understood that Senior and Abby had the right to know, as well.

Rather, she retreated from the little group and allowed her legs to rest by sitting on the empty seat next to Gibbs, trying to sort out her thoughts. As it seemed, no one blamed her for what had happened to Tony and that showed one thing for certain – they didn't know about his intention to propose to her last night and he hadn't shared with them that his plans had failed.

In the opposite case, she would be most certainly blamed for the whole situation and forced to tell the truth about what had led her to not accept the proposal. Although the team had mentioned, as well as the SWAT team leader, that Tony's actions had been rash and ill-considered, probably caused by his mental state, none of them had thrown a suspicious glance at her. Not even the fact that it had taken a while to her to pick up her phone seemed dubious to them.

"He's gonna be fine." Gibbs suddenly stated his first words since she had come here. His tone was distant as he stared in front of himself with his eyes wide opened, clutching the cup of coffee in his hand as some kind of a life-saver.

She looked over at him and met his searching gaze as he focused his eyes on her after long minutes of studying the invisible point in front of him. Tony should be fine, his injuries weren't that severe but one never knew. And then she realized that while her friends hadn't probably considered that she might have played a role in reasons for Tony's reckless behaviour, Gibbs had considered this option from the very start.

And as if Gibbs was waiting for her to figure it out, he pierced his blue eyes through her sternly. "What happened between you two?" He fired instinctively, treating her like prey trembling before a predator he was when it came to interrogations.

She found herself powerless against his assault, the guilt being the dominating emotion within her. It strengthened her against everything but verbal attacks like this one. And it was significantly different from the situation a couple of months ago because this time, he hadn't participated on Tony's heartache so she couldn't retort with a counterattack. To tell him the truth was the only option that made sense.

"He proposed to me." She muttered quietly, still in shock over it. She had expected it but not so soon, not in the most inconvenient moment she could think of.

Gibbs' eyes widened but not in surprise over Tony's decision. He sensed it was coming, he noticed DiNozzo's enigmatic anticipation lately and couldn't find any other reason for it. What surprised him was the fact that he had apparently failed. "And you rejected him?!" He hissed angrily, trying to keep his voice low enough so none of the present ones would overhear them.

She shook her head in a negative response but paused indecisively right after. In all honesty, she still hadn't completely understood what had happened last night. "Not exactly, I... I needed time." She argued weakly, unable to look into Gibbs' face anymore and rather focusing her eyes on the tiles that created the waiting area's floor.

"What the hell for?" Gibbs didn't hesitate to question incredulously. If she claimed she loved him the way she did, then she should have accepted without a second thought.

She swallowed the sob that threatened to escape and willed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes to remain where they were. "I am pregnant, Gibbs." She confessed shakily and risked a glance at him as her hand unintentionally landed on her stomach as a sign of protection. "He does not know yet. I did not know myself until a few days ago."

His posture relaxed, no longer so tense because he was beginning to understand. At first, he felt a great joy but then he realized something was wrong. He could sense the 'but' miles away from here, the reason why she hadn't told DiNozzo, yet. And her gloomy expression that didn't have much to do with DiNozzo in the operating theatre at the moment was more than telling. The story hadn't been over yet, there was something more, something sinister.

"It is a high-risk pregnancy. There is a chance that I will not be able to..." She faltered and let out a sob with the tears streaming down her cheeks. Gibbs was at her side at once, putting a comforting hand on her back while stroking her hair with the other as she snuggled against him.

He let her to sob and cry however long she wanted, sending a warning glance at the rest of the people in the waiting area to abandon any intention to join them. To them, it looked as if Ziva had lost her composure and Gibbs was there for her to comfort her. Nothing less, nothing more. They didn't need to know for now the behind-the-scenes information about the proposal and pregnancy.

"What are the chances?" He whispered to her with a fatherly interest to find out how bad her condition actually was.

Taking a couple of short but deep breaths to loosen the tight invisible grip on her throat as she wiped away the wetness of her face, she squeezed gratefully Gibbs' hand. "Miscarriage in the next ten weeks and premature birth in the next seventeen." She informed him, her voice quivering as she shot a look on the glass door to see if the doctor didn't come with some news.

He looked up with her but saw no one so he returned back to letting the information sink in and doing the math about her pregnancy based on his previous experience. "How far are you?" He asked her, somewhat confused about the results he was getting but what did he knew about female body, after all.

"Almost at the end of the first trimester." She whispered as if she couldn't believe it herself. There was a baby growing inside her for almost three months, a baby conceived with nothing but love and it pained her that there was a possibility that he or she wouldn't ever see the light of the day.

"You didn't know that...?" He asked her, brows furrowed in puzzlement. It was an unfamiliar area for him but when Shannon had been pregnant, she somehow knew it right away.

Even in the terrible moments like this one indisputably was, she managed to chuckle at Gibbs' confusion. The ever-knowing Leroy Jethro Gibbs was baffled with such a common thing as pregnancy. "It is hard to explain. There were some hints but nothing serious that would clearly tell me that I am with child." She said with a telling look into his eyes.

He understood. The life changes that she and Tony had been through in the past three months were significant and turned their worlds upside down. No wonder she hadn't discovered about her gravidity sooner. And if she confirmed it recently, immediately being thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainty whether the baby would even be born, then he could comprehend why she needed her time before making a decision to marry DiNozzo.

Of course, he would prefer the fairytale for them, the harmonious life-style with a model family from dreams. But it wasn't meant to be, apparently, and in a way, he could also be blamed for that. However, he was ready to rectify some of his past mistakes and support them in the best way he could because they deserved at least a small piece of such a beautiful life.

Meanwhile, Ziva replayed the events of the last night in her head and struggled with the guilt that plagued her. "I could not tell him yes at that moment, I... Being informed about the state of my pregnancy about an hour before he... And now he is..." She started to sob during her defence speech, the rest of the words swallowed, unsaid or unintelligible.

Gibbs quickly pulled her into a hug, rocking her gently to soothe her. He had reversed his opinion already and instead of being mad at her, he rather rushed to be the comforting pillar she needed at the moment. The stress load on her shoulders had to already be immense, so there was no need to burden her with more. Her health or her unborn baby could get the worst of it and he couldn't let that happen.

"It's okay, I get it." He whispered to her as she soaked his shirt with hot, sad tears. His heart was breaking for his two children but he needed to stay positive. All battles hadn't been won yet. "He's gonna be okay, I promise. But you have to tell him the truth once he's awake."

She nodded in agreement as she tried to gain control over her emotions for once more. "I know and I will." She confirmed with a hiccup, accepting the offered napkin from Gibbs she could blow her nose to and wipe away the wetness on her face.

Staying huddled in his embrace for the rest of the time until the doctor finally appeared from behind the glass door gave her enough strength to immediately jump up and race across the waiting area towards the man in the white gown. She hated his stony, neutral expression because she couldn't read whether the surgery had gone well or not. But she understood that the doctor was a professional who couldn't afford to easily succumb to the emotions.

"Family of Special Agent DiNozzo?" He asked everyone in the room and suppressed a smirk when he saw everybody present gathering in front of him. Before they had anaesthetized the patient, he'd deliriously corrected the doctor to call him 'special agent' and warned him that 'horde of people' would wring his neck if the surgery didn't end up well.

"I'm his father." Senior shook the doctor's hand and assured him with a nod that whoever else had been present, they all wanted to know how Tony was feeling so there was no need to keep any protocol about health condition discretion.

Ziva forced her way through everyone to stand right in front of the doctor. "How is he?" She asked with a shaking voice, trying to read the papers in the doctor's hands upside down.

"He's fine." The doctor assured the gathered group in front of him before anything else. Then he looked into the papers to check the information he was about to give them. "The most severe injury was the gunshot wound to the left thigh. Luckily, the bullet stayed inside otherwise he would suffer a significant blood loss. We took it out and did our best to patch him back up."

He could feel the initial wave of relief, immediately replaced by another wave of worry about the recovery process. "We did the same with the graze on his left arm." He continued calmly, still scanning the papers with his eyes, occasionally looking up to maintain the direct contact. "He also has a large bruise on his stomach due to the impact of the bullet with the bulletproof vest."

Taking the paper in the front by the corner to turn it and see what was written on the page below it, he smiled warmly. "All in all, he was quite lucky. His wounds should heal without a problem and without any serious after-effects." He announced as he released the papers and lowered his hand next to his side, assuring them that the recovery shouldn't be difficult.

Medically, it shouldn't pose any problem for him to return quickly back to normal life. The doctor couldn't judge the mental side of the injury, though. But as far as he knew, the agencies had always had special departments to take care of their agents, not to mention that the hospital had also provided a standard psychological help. So, he didn't fear for DiNozzo's ability to pull himself back together and chase the criminals in his jurisdiction in no time.

The group seemed to be satisfied with his report and almost free of the tension that had been smothering them for the whole time. As an experienced surgeon, he knew that the next questions would lead to the opportunity to see the patient, so he provided an answer without being asked. "He cooperated very well during the operation, although we had to apply general anaesthesia to relieve the pain he was feeling. He's being transferred to a post-op room where you can visit him once he's awake."

Giving them the direction to the post-op room where Special Agent DiNozzo was now lying, he added the anaesthesia should wear off in a couple of hours so it would still take some time before they could speak to the patient. He left the rest to the nurses as they knew better than him. After the acceptance of several thanks from the group, he returned back to the operating theatre as he had another surgery ahead and needed to refresh.

The steady beeping annoyed Ziva no more. Shivers ran through her every time she found herself in a silent room with analogical clock, the second hand hammering its way to her head or in a bathroom with a notoriously infamous dripping faucet that was often unrepairable, driving everyone hearing the drops of water falling down crazy. She was no different in this than any other human being.

But this was different. The sounds coming out of a medical monitor measured the vital signs. They were the audible proof that the man connected to the device was alive and breathing. Albeit pale that not even a pinch would colour the skin with red marks, he breathed evenly and a small smile graced his lips as if he knew that he was out of the worst with only the good ahead of him.

Ziva ruffled his hair softly, still gripping his hand with devotion she'd never felt for anyone else but him. For now, she could just watch his fragile, battered figure for he was still sleeping. About an hour ago, he had roused from his anaesthesia-induced coma but the doctor was the only one who had talked to him. He had informed Tony with his condition and the results of the medical intervention and then, Tony had fallen asleep for once more.

The nurses couldn't stand the worried Ziva constantly peeping inside the room to check up on him, so they allowed her to be inside with him and wait until he woke fully. The rest of the team stayed outside, going out to take a bite of something and also provide some food for Ziva who refused to leave her spot by Tony's bed. Endlessly watching him, barely listening to the biological needs of her own body, simply filled her with content.

She almost passed out when he suddenly squeezed her hand back and his breathing laboured as he woke up from his deep slumber. With a breathless anticipation, she bent over him to caress his cheek to let him know that he wasn't alone and when he opened his eyes, he could expect to see a person in front of him. It was definitely a better sight than staring on the white ceiling as the realization of what had happened dawned.

He let out a sleepy groan and squinted his eyes before opening them, having no experience with a light for the past few hours. His body was sore, it hurt just breathing evenly but in the same time, the pain was quite dull so he guessed that the painkillers were keeping him sane. There was no temporary loss of memory, he was aware of what had happened and how he'd ended up in a hospital.

Despite being stupefied, he sensed her next to him for the whole time. And although he could imagine the anger she felt for the horror he had inflicted in her, not questioning her right to feel that way and actually understanding her, he also didn't deny his right to demand answers. It wasn't his intention to bring this conversation upon them that way, just like it wasn't his intention to get himself almost killed.

Taking advantage of the situation ahead couldn't be something he would ever blame himself or she would ever hold against him. The decisiveness in her posture when he finally focused his eyes on her revealed enough to him about her regret of yesterday's events. The same went for him and his stupid decision to recklessly attempt to pacify the killer all by himself.

"Hey." She smiled at him, tears of happiness already forming in her eyes. He could be mad at her but instead, all he saw in his tired eyes were tenderness and love. And she couldn't get enough of that look.

He opened his mouth but instead of any words, a croak came out. His vocal cords hadn't been used properly for the past few hours and neither did he swallow to keep his throat naturally wet. She quickly gestured him to stay silent and reached for a bottle of water with a straw. Holding it in front of him, she helped him to take a couple of sips to wet his whistle and be able to speak.

Unable to take his eyes off of her, he maintained the eye contact as much as he could, apart from the annoying need to blink. He couldn't help but find a specific amusement in all of this. They were like pair of lovers so happy to see each other again and wanting nothing but to fall into each other's arms, yet a barrier between them didn't allow them to do so because they needed to work certain things out.

The familiarity of the ground they were currently standing on was simply comical. It didn't matter how many times they were trying to divert the circle through a different current. They always ended up in the same place, once again gathering all their willpower and strength to encounter with their own demons in another battle. And it wasn't tiring at all. Contrarily, it made them stronger together.

"I hope I'm not dead because you look like an angel." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he took her hand and imprinted his kiss onto her palm.

She gave out a tearful chuckle, aching for his love more than anything. "I may look like one but I am not. And you are not dead because if you were, I would kick your ass back down from Heaven or back up from Hell to make you return to me." She said, her voice betraying her as it turned into a high-pitched tone she had to force through her constricted throat. "Don't you even dare..."

A sob riddled through her body as her puffed eyes watered with another waterfall of tears. He was unable to stop her, fighting against his own urge to cry, not to mention his battered body wasn't in the best condition to spur into any physical action. Weakly, he reached towards her cheek and she leaned in to facilitate the action he wanted to take so he could wipe away the tears on her skin.

"I know I did a stupid thing." He admitted in a raspy tone, one she would absolutely considered as a huge turn-on if they weren't in this situation.

She ignored his apologetic gaze because this was the time for questions and real answers. "Why did you do that? Going against protocol is not you, Tony." She asked him as she took his hand and helped him to caress her cheek, looking at him sadly. "You stormed inside as if you had nothing to live for. At least that's what the SWAT team leader told me."

The man had stopped by to ask about Tony's condition. Ziva had taken the advantage and interrogated him about what had happened in the abandoned building. He had hesitated to tell her but when he'd learnt that she used to be NCIS, as well as Mossad, he'd told her everything she wanted to know. Finally, he also assured her that it would be a minor stain on Tony's career and it shouldn't influence his advancement in any way.

Tony didn't answer at first because he wished he knew what kind of stupidity had seized his mind in that moment. It could have been the words the killer had said in combination with the stress, adrenaline, lack of sleep and partial heartbreak that had simply forced him to act on impulse instead of using any kind of logical thinking. One thing was for sure – he wasn't suicidal and never had been.

Maybe it was a subconscious action, knowing that he would end up injured and she would be forced to come back to him and be straight with him about her motivations. But he couldn't but feel ashamed of himself, even more ashamed for such a thought than the rash action he had performed. It was a form of an emotional blackmail. No matter that it was probably subconscious, he hated himself for being so low.

"I'm... I'm sorry." He croaked up an apology and broke the eye contact, slipping his gaze towards the hospital room door. "Maybe in that moment, I didn't have anything to live for."

She gasped in response, unable to accept that things between them could get so twisted. They hadn't spent almost three months together, trying to fix each other for nothing. After everything that had been said, that they had been through, she refused to believe that he would give up on her so easily and just plunged head-first into the first life-threatening situation he could absolutely on purpose and willingly.

"What are you talking about?" She willed herself to calmness, bending over him further so she could partially reconnect their eyes. "I did not reject you, Tony."

Despite her consuming anxiety, her immense sorrow and grief, her plaguing guilt, she had done anything that was in her powers to assure him that her love was unconditional and constant. She had made sure that her stampede didn't mean 'no'. Doubtlessly, she could have handled the situation way better but considering the circumstances, she had done all she could to minimize the damage.

Obeying her silent command as the curiosity got better of him, he looked up at her and saw the profound love, sincerity and honesty in her eyes. He wished he felt different because what she'd just said was true. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't his aching heart that had thrown him into the whirlwind of life-threatening danger but the apathy that dulled his senses and stripped him of any logical judgement.

"I know you didn't." He confirmed and reached out his hand to caress her cheek apologetically. "But it felt like you did and I didn't know how to deal with it. I honestly don't know what had gotten into me."

Tears he couldn't prevent from falling burnt him in the corners of his eyes and he rapidly blinked to get rid of them, feeling the scorching wetness streaming down his temples and into his hair. She cried, too, her bottom lip trembling vividly as she pulled out a napkin to wipe away his tears she couldn't stand to look at while he kept repeating his previous action of a movement of his thumb across her cheek.

They were both immensely hurting and worst of it all that the hurting came out of things that should cause happiness, not pain. And yet, here they were with their hearts bleeding, tears falling and repentant effort in order to express their remorse over the mishandling of the whole situation. In a sense, they were luck to experience a similar thing before because they had been taking their time to talk. Communication was the key, not drawing wrong and baseless conclusions.

"I am so sorry, Tony..." She apologized sincerely, rapidly drying off her and his face in shaky touches of the napkin against their skin. "I really did not intend for things to go like this but... It was all just a bad timing."

Suddenly, she grew solemn and rigid, reading herself to break the news to him and satisfy his curious and questioning looks. From the very first moment she had learnt about her pregnancy, she'd conjured a numerous images in her head how to announce this good news to Tony and actually, even the discovery of her health problems hadn't stopped them. And yet, this one seemed somehow the right one despite all the circumstances.

She took a deep breath – twice as she lost her firm footing immediately and had to exhale – and took both of his hands into hers. "There is something I need to tell you." She announced and watched the raging storm of emotions in his face because his vivacious imagination had already been creating scenarios.

The crucial three words just didn't want to seem come out of her mouth although she had said them multiple times since she had known it. They got stuck between her brain and her vocal chords and it would take a great deal to get them out. But she had to do something, otherwise it would destroy the suspenseful moment and the right tension would be replaced with something far worse.

So instead, she ventured for a physical action and took his left hand as it was closer and placed it on her belly. He watched her with inquisitive, yet puzzled look, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as he tried to guess what the purpose of her gesture was. The correct thought had emerged almost immediately but just as quickly he squashed it with his doubts.

Noticing the barely visible shake of denial, she covered his hand with his and tried to express the announcement with words for once more. "I am pregnant, Tony." She said in an assuring tone, surprising herself with the steady voice.

It took an eternal moment in Tony's life to process the news. Initial shock was replaced with joy, then replaced with confusion, only to return back to joy and eventually settling on somewhere in between those two prevailing emotions. Joy was the first one that managed to get through his stiffened staring as he looked up at her to get the confirmation from her gorgeous smile.

She had to curb him because if he wasn't battered to the core, he would jump out of the hospital bed, pick her up and twirl her in circles of happiness. Unfortunately, he had to reserve himself to a painful sitting position as he hung his arms around her with a joyous chuckle, kissing away all the remaining tears and the new ones from her face, eventually capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

His hands scrabbled around her stomach as he tried to feel the baby inside by touch but it was still too soon although he could feel the slightly hardened bulging belly. He couldn't believe that it was happening, that he was about to become a father. This feeling had stupefied him enough that his confusion remained suppressed and for now, didn't question why she hadn't said 'yes' and then announced him the great news. It would be the most perfect and happiest moments of their lives.

Even though she tried to stop his kisses to explain further what was going on, he was relentless in his kissing activities and so she resigned for anything for the time being. After all, it was a reason for celebration. Her pregnancy might not be perfect but it was pretty much real, just as the fact that he was alive and well, only bruised and he displayed his affection and devotion for her without being mad at her.

When he finally had enough, he drew his face to his and leaned their foreheads against each other. "I love you. You're amazing and I..." He whispered to her emotionally, forgetting and forgiving everything else because this news trumped everything he could ever dream of.

She interrupted him with a shushing sound, putting a finger on his lips. "There is more to it, Tony." She said in a serious tone, smiling apologetically to show that she felt sorry for what she was about to say. "And you should know it before..."

Words had let her down once again because it wasn't easy to start talking about the failed proposal just like that. Seeing his pained expression, she softly pushed his shoulder and forced him to like back down on the bed because the abdominal pain was apparently worse than he was letting on. She already knew the differences between the painful looks he was giving while feeling either physical or emotional pain.

Then, she assumed her seat on the chair next to his hospital bed and took him by his hand. He looked at her with great anticipation, wondering why she was suddenly so serious but once she started to talk, he understood. Without interruption as he listened to her attentively, apart her own temporary moments of weakness, she described to him the conditions of her pregnancy.

Maybe it was her chance to accept those facts she was narrating or the fact that saying all the medical terms aloud made it sound somewhat... distant. As if it didn't actually concern her or their baby. However, it definitely facilitated the explanation of the individual problems in question and in the end, she could take a deep breath of relief that she had managed to get through it.

Tony stood persistently silent, although his mind was flooded by more and more questions in order to understand her condition better. He had to come with the terms that he couldn't do anything to improve it, anyway. It couldn't be fixed or restored with a wave of magical wand. It was a fact they had to deal with and do their best in order to help Ziva's body to deliver the baby without any troubles.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He croaked eventually because it was a question he could actually get an answer for.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply twice, turning around to get the bottle of water to let him drink so he could wet his sore throat. "You did not give me a proper chance, Tony." She told him without any sign of reproach in her voice, simply stating factual information. "This whole mess is nothing but a bad timing."

His eyes prompted her to talk further while his mouth glued itself to the straw and drank in the large gulps of water. That was the second time she mentioned 'bad timing' and he desired to know the timetable of the disaster they had gotten themselves into. He wanted to know if he was supposed to notice any hints that would tell him to halt the proposal preparations and prevent the subsequent events.

"It did not occur to me that I could be pregnant until a week ago." She admitted to assure him that she hadn't been keeping from him this information for long. It was still too fresh for her, as well. "So I went to buy one of those pregnancy tests from the drugstore. And it came out positive."

He nodded in understanding and handed her the bottle of water over to sign that he had enough. She took the bottle, pulled out the straw and took a swig before screwing the bottle cap back on. For a moment, she pondered whether to tell him that Abby and Ellie had already been aware of her pregnancy and so he wasn't the first person she had just told to. But there had been enough of half-truths between them and while this one couldn't be that harming, it could become a seed of a bigger problem and she didn't want to do anything of such sorts.

"I felt oddly... at peace but I freaked out in the same time, so I... I needed to talk to someone about it, someone who would understand me." She went on, the traces of the strange feeling she was riddled with when she had found out about her pregnancy, making her shiver. "And I could not talk to you as I wanted to make sure at the doctor before telling you."

He smiled faintly, reaching for her delicate hand to squeeze it in comprehension. After all, he would have done the same in her shoes and because he knew exactly what day she was talking about, he quickly put two and two together. "That means Abby knows, I guess." He assessed with a smirk on his face. He suddenly understood the long, inquisitive gazes Abby was sending him for the past few days.

"So does Ellie." Ziva confirmed with a nod, playing with their intertwined fingers pensively. "She was with Abby at that moment and I did not want her to feel left out."

Another smile, this time full of pride, appeared on his face. He couldn't work up enough anger to be mad at her for confiding with such news to some of their friends. Instead, he was glad that she didn't trust to Abby only but also included Bishop who sometimes felt out of the place since she had been relatively new addition to their little group. Plus, both were women so they understood way more the female side of things than he ever could.

"Anyway, I made an appointment with my doctor immediately but she could not find any sooner date than yesterday." Ziva continued, scrunching her nose when she looked at the clock and realized that 'yesterday' no longer applied as it was past midnight. "I was her last patient that day so she sat down with me and took her time to explain as much as she could to me."

The doctor and her forthcoming behaviour to her as a patient was a copybook example of a doctor one should respect and pamper. She had seen how much Ziva had been thrown off balance due to the news about the high-risk pregnancy and sacrificed her personal time to consult with her the necessary details and answer her questions. It hadn't had the immediate effect of calming down but it certainly played a role in Ziva's sudden acceptance over the past few hours.

"All I wanted that evening was to come home, snuggle with you and watch a movie in silence. I knew that although you could be worried, you would give me the peace I sought in order to deal with the news and prepare myself for telling you." She said and closed her eyes as she shook her head in hopelessness. She could forever try but in the end, she could never understand how one's life could be overturned in the matter of seconds and all because of a bad timing.

He licked his lips and with a gesture asked her for the bottle of water again. Knowing where she was heading with her words and imagining how she must have felt made him realize that she had had to go through inconceivable anguish. One that hadn't been caused only by the news about her pregnancy but also by the deed of not accepting his proposal. If his pain could be compared to nine circles of Hell, her pain had had to be at least twice as much.

"Next thing I knew is that you dropped on your knee and asked me to marry you." She sniffed, once more overwhelmed with emotions. "And it was all so beautiful, so perfect, from the decorations to the ring and I... I hated to ruin it but I had no other choice. I could not go through with it, not in that very moment..."

He stopped her with a shushing sound and a strong squeeze of her hand because he could hear the sobs before they even arrived. There was no reason anymore to relive the disaster they had been through, he understood everything and couldn't be angry with her for the life of him. Eventually, he even forgave her the decision to abandon him with his doubts because he couldn't think of any better way how to deal with it, either.

"As you said, it was nothing but a bad timing." He smiled soothingly at her and she stood up to kiss him gratefully on his lips. Any other man in her life would be probably done with her by this time but not Anthony DiNozzo Junior. He was a Saint.

Working his way through the stupid cords that connected him to the monitors, he raised his hand and slipped it in her hair to find her scalp so he could press her closer to him. Her taste soothed his pain – both physical and emotional – in an unimaginable way and while the common agreement claimed that time was the great healer but he begged to differ. The kisses of the woman he loved were the beast kind of therapy for him.

When they parted, he looked into her eyes and a silent understanding, forgiveness, as well as promise passed between them. For once more, words weren't necessary anymore in the greater scope. They had talked their problems out, aware of their mistakes they had made not out of spite but in order to prove themselves be worthy of each other's love. Maybe it was destructive but it was their destructive and that was what they were and wouldn't have any other way.

"Okay, so what do we have to do in order to help the little one? Any recommendations?" He asked curiously and didn't resist touching her belly again. His father mode maybe wasn't exactly fully operational just yet, but it was starting to show.

Feeling his hand, she covered it with hers and smiled at him while she caressed his face gently. She was relieved to see that he wasn't just as pale as earlier, the colour had already been returning to his lovely cheeks. "Primarily, we have to be careful. Ease our life pace and learn to relax. Any kind of highly stressful situation is a threat." She told him with a meaningful look in her eyes, albeit without any sign of reproofs.

It took him a while – attribute it to his recovery – to understand the message between the lines but when it did dawn on him, you would hardly find a more horror-stricken man in the world than him. Not only his reckless behaviour had caused the large bruise on his stomach, a gunshot wound on his thigh and instigated fear for his life in the hearts of his closest friends, it had also left his girlfriend worried sick. Girlfriend who was pregnant with their child.

"Shit, oh my... Are you okay?" He questioned her with guilt in his eyes, desperately trying to assure himself that no harm had been done to her or the baby in any way.

She smiled at him in response and added an assuring nod. "Yes, I am." She confirmed and her love for him grew even deeper when she saw him take a deep sigh of relief. He didn't even dare to think what else could have happened and admired the strength she had been endowed with.

"For now." She suddenly added with a stern tone lacing her soft voice. "Because I definitely have nothing against you saving yourself the trouble and let such a thing happen ever again."

He chuckled in response – a natural reaction to the irony of the statement, nothing more. It could happen any time again and he could do nothing about it because it was just a factual reality of his job and he wasn't about to give it up, knowing that she didn't want him to do so, either. Yet, he was becoming aware that from now on, every single time he would face a life-threatening situation, he would be emotionally attached to his wife and his daughter or son than ever before, preventing him from being reckless.

"I am serious, Tony." She lectured him with even sterner tone because she understood his chuckle in her own way. She couldn't afford to lose him, not ever again, not after everything they had been through. His incautious way of life had to be stopped and that also involved him risking his everything for her. She was already happy with all that he had given her, his heart being the most precious of all.

"I know, I know." He waved her off and took her hand to hold it firmly and kiss her knuckles gently. "And I promise. I also promise to have a better timing next time for... you know."

Her free hand shot up to her neck and for a second, he thought she was choking but then she looked at him with a searching gaze before proceeding further with a smile as if she was assured that she could do what she had in plan. "Actually, I took some liberty and..." She said, releasing his hand so she could pull out the necklace beneath her shirt. With the traditional Star of David on the golden chain, he could also spot the engagement ring he had purchased right next to it.

"You found the ring..." He whispered, closing his eyes momentarily to search in his memory where he had left it for the last time. As far as he could recall, it had been probably on the piano, mocking his entire downcast existence on the couch.

She nodded in affirmation because she had left the hospital for a brief moment to pack some necessities from the apartment to make Tony's stay in the hospital easier since they weren't sure how long it would take to discharge him. In any other case, she would insisted on never leaving the hospital premises to be near Tony to be sure she would be the first one to see him when he woke up and let someone else to take care of it.

However, she wasn't sure whether he had removed all the proposal scene decorations, including the ring or what state even the apartment was. The last thing she needed at the moment were questions after anyone else would visit the apartment to find out what exactly had happened last night so she had rather taken up the task on herself. And it had paid off greatly.

Reaching behind, she unclasped the chain from around her neck, carefully extracting the ring without losing the Star of David. As she clutched the round object made out of gold in her palm, she positioned the necklace on her neck and clasped it back. Then, she started to touch the ring with her fingers nervously, throwing side glances at him to find out what he was thinking about her bringing the ring here with her.

"It is beautiful, by the way." She commented after a pause of silence as he kept staring at her with an unreadable expression, only shifting his position to feel more comfortable.

The golden band twisting in waves at the top with a three little shimmering diamonds aligned in one line had already taken her breath away the first time she had seen it. After examining it further, she had fallen in love with it even more when she had discovered the three words 'Past. Present. Future.' engraved on the band and couldn't help but think how perfect and thoughtful it was. He had really thought the proposal through, it hadn't been just a hot-headed decision.

"Thank McGee for that, he helped me to choose." He admitted with a mild smile on his face, still uncertain how to react, wondering what she intended to do.

An acknowledgement of the fact came from her with a smile and a short nod before she lowered her eyes on the ring again. "Anyway..." she began after another mute moment, interrupted only by beeping sounds, "I know that that we are in a stupid hospital room but I cannot imagine better timing than this and since my answer will always be the same, no matter how you ask me..."

She looked up at him, encouraged by his happy smile that confirmed to her that it was indeed a good timing this time, and continued. "I do not need a perfect moment, perfect ring, perfect words or a perfect proposal scene. I just need you." She said, putting the ring into his palm and watching him expectantly.

He tried to cover his joy by tossing the ring in his hand as if he needed to mull over his next steps, keeping her tension high. In a way, he thought she deserved to be left in a harmless suspense for a little moment and so he took his time to evaluate her words through his own thoughts. After all, he had just promised not to be so reckless as usual and rather consider his ever step with a cool head.

His cover was poorly done, though, because she slightly punched him into his shoulder to give him a sign to stop teasing her. Both were smiling as two people in love who were about to make a committing promise to each other should. Tony took her hand ceremonially and she gasped despite anticipating it. After everything, she really didn't want to ruin this special moment.

He cleared his still sore throat and made an eye contact with her, maintaining it for a couple of seconds before he dared to speak up. "Will you give me the honour," he began, his voice steady as he purposely put an emphasis on each word, "and the joy of being your husband and become my wife?"

Unknowingly to her, whenever she felt positively emotionally overwhelmed, dimples appeared in her cheeks which was also this case. But he was familiar with it and it was one of the things he loved on her and would never change. Her adorable wheeze her lungs had produced only intensified the soul-stirring moment between them and he knew that he had nothing to fear this time.

"Yes." She replied firmly after she regained her composure, staring without a blink into his hopeful eyes, glad that she could finally ignite the flame of happiness in him. "Nothing would make me happier."

Their lips met to seal the commitment they had just pledged to accomplish. Tony blindly slipped the ring on her finger while she cupped his face to make their kiss twice more passionate than it had ever been. The medical monitor played the melody of their love as the beeping increased its intensity due to the inevitable boost in Tony's heartbeat. That day, in that moment, in one hospital room, their souls had merged into one for once more.

The End of Chapter 39

Wedding is on, people! And baby incoming! Wow, isn't that sugary sweet? Well, we need all of this, more than ever. :) Especially me after seeing the latest Star Wars... Now, allow me go back to my little corner where I will cry for the rest of the century...

Have a great holiday and see you next time!