Watched a football game from the start on Saturday for the first time in years. I don't think I'll do it again as it distracted me too much.
Chapter Forty-One:
Sasha was reading on her tablet when Calvin came home Friday.
"Do you think you'll visit Reid this weekend?"
"No," Calvin said. "I want to make this a clean break for a while. He called to apologize for the way he's been acting and promised to do better."
"And?"
"I thanked him for it. I also hope that things would work out in the future."
"What's wrong Gwen?" Sasha asked as she turned off her tablet. "I don't see any fire in your eyes when you talk about him. Are you really that exhausted?"
"It's not just him Sash," Calvin. "It's partially me. I haven't dated in years, and dating Spencer Reid has been quite an experience."
"I get that," she said. "I haven't dated in years either. I pity whoever is stuck with me for their first date."
"Can we talk about you now please?" Calvin asked. "What happened in Cambodia?"
"This late?" she said.
"We've been dancing around the subject since you got home," Calvin said. "Please tell me so I can help you. You're not the Sasha I saw at Christmas two years ago. The light in your eyes isn't there. What happened?"
"I might as well tell you now," she said with a sigh. "I was repeatedly raped by a local landowner with strong political connections. He threatened to have the clinic I ran, shut down if I told a soul."
"What about your supervisors?" Calvin asked, shocked.
"They had other problems to deal with," she said. "It was hard keeping the clinic staffed by local women as there is also a gang rape problem in the area. It is part of their culture and they have a special name for it even."
"You sound so desensitized," Calvin said.
"I got used to it," she said. "He had a pregnant wife at the time and assured me that every time he, he forced himself on me, he was sparing her and the baby. That's why I stayed for ten months, after she gave birth and to make sure a male colleague could take over. Though he promised the last time I saw him that he'd find another pretty MSF lady."
Calvin hugged Sasha.
"I'm so sorry," Calvin said. "I wish something could have been done."
"Some areas are worse than others," she said. "I was stuck in one of the worst areas, as I had been in MSF since I graduated from medical school."
"Did you get any diseases?"
"No, and I consider myself lucky that way," she said. "I took antivirals and birth control, but he was clean."
"Are you seeking treatment here?"
"I'm researching doctors," she said. "Once I get a place in DC, I'll start seeing someone."
"I'm thinking of putting my place here up for sale soon," Calvin said.
"You're serious about moving to be closer to him?"
"Yes," Calvin said.
"What happens if the relationship breaks apart?" Sasha asked.
"I like the idea of living in DC," she said. "The architecture, less crowds, and no skyscrapers where the fiftieth floor that makes you feel dizzy."
"If you're sure," Sasha said.
"What about you?" Calvin asked. "Would you like to split the cost of living down there and bunk with me?"
"I appreciate the offer," she said. "But I like the idea of living on my own. I have spent too many nights sharing space with others. Besides, my long-term investments have paid off. I should be okay financially."
"Good," Calvin said.
Sasha sighed.
"We've both a got a lot on our plates, don't we?" she said.
"Yeah, but that's life," Calvin said. "In five weeks, I'll be free to do whatever I want."
"And I'll see if I'm any good at teaching," she said.
Sasha's phone beeped. She groaned.
"I knew I'd regret telling Andy I was back in town. Now mom knows and she really wants me to give Steve a chance."
"I never knew the whole story behind Aunt Ellen's obsession with the Transit Valley serial killer."
"Mom has always been into conspiracy theories," Sasha said. "She went snooping around a cop bar in Sacramento and found out there was DNA at the scene they couldn't identify and she thought that must be the real killer. Steve Henning killed people in convenience store parking lots. Of course, there's DNA all over the place."
"Why Henning?" Calvin asked. "There are serial killers all over California."
"She saw his mug shot online and claims it was love at first sight," she said. "That she felt an instant bond that transcended normal human understanding."
"How much cannabis does your mom use?"
"She claims she uses it to treat her anxiety," she said. "She also claims Steve doesn't have a connection with any other woman but her. That he only answers fan mail to keep them at bay. He only has eyes for her."
"The guy was caught six years ago," Calvin said. "I wonder if Reid was in on the arrest."
"It's possible," she said. "I try to stay out of my mom's drama as much as possible."
Calvin yawned.
"I'm going to bed."
"I'll see you in the morning," Sasha said.
…
Calvin didn't run often, but when she did, she ran hard. All she could think about was Reid.
She didn't know if she loved him anymore. Calvin wondered if she ever loved him, or loved the idea of him. Heroic agent who needed saving. He didn't really need saving, he just needed people to believe in him. Reid seemed to have plenty of that. The sex wasn't bad, but it felt obligatory; Reid was trying to find his sexual identity after spending time only with men. Their relationship was still young. Maybe this would be the first test. Or was it over already?
When Calvin slowed down, she found she was breathing heavily. She didn't mean to overdo it the way she did.
"You okay?"
She looked up to see Nick in running gear with a bottle of water.
"In a city this large, how the Hell did we meet?" Calvin asked.
"Maybe it was fate," Nick said jokingly.
"Do you run this path often?" she asked.
"Only on the weekends, now," he said.
"I hear they're planning on promoting you back to PM after I leave," she said.
"The AM was growing on me, but I miss the hard-hitting stuff," he said.
"I can imagine," she said.
"I might not take the offer," he said. "There's station manager offer for me in DC and CBS has asked about my contract."
"Wait," Calvin said as her world spun slightly. "Are you chasing me?"
"This was not how I planned on telling you this," he said with a slight laugh. "I would be thoroughly happy if things worked out between you and Reid. If things didn't, I would want to try to be there for you in a romantic way."
"How long have you felt like this?" she asked.
"Since you walked into PAX high on your high horse about integrity in journalism. I butted heads with you about content, but I always felt for you on a deeper level."
"So, what do we do?"
Nick put a hand on her shoulder.
"You try to make it work with Reid," he said. "And if it doesn't, I'll be waiting."
"But for how long?" she asked.
"I want to kiss a girl to ring in twenty-twenty-four," he said with a smile.
He then ran off.
Calvin never felt more confused.