A/N: As long as I got you by my side, I know what I wanna do in this life (Soldier - James TW)

DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story is allllllllllllllll mine. © TStabler

"You thought you were what?" Olivia fumes at Cragen, her hands on her hips. She can't believe what he's just said, it's taking every ounce of self-control she has to keep from yelling at him, to keep her job.

Cragen shakes his head, blinks, and says, "Protecting you." He holds out a hand, his unbuttoned collar flaps apart as he tugs on his shirt. "Porter was after you for a reason, and when I thought it was because you were seeing him...I heard things...thought you were letting yourself get wrapped up in two different affairs," he sighs and drops into his desk. "I swear, I didn't...hear anything personal, other than what you two were planning to do this morning, and I…"

"You and Porter," she snaps, pointing a finger at him and leaning forward, "You what, joined forces to keep me from getting married?" She laughs bitterly, raising her eyes toward the ceiling. "God, can everyone please just fucking stay out of my personal life?" She drops her gaze again, staring at her captain. "You are my boss, end of story! And Dean Porter isn't even...I mean, fuck, I'm better friends with Judge Donnelly than I am with Porter and I fucking hate her!" She slams both of her palms on his desk and grits her teeth. "If you think I'm making a mistake, Captain Cragen, that's fine, but it's my mistake to make! Please, unless it concerns my job…"

"This does!" Cragen booms, standing again. His face is red and his eyes are severe and it's clear that he's starting to tremble.

Olivia laughs, but it's anything but happy. She's pointed and clear in her words. "No, it doesn't," she says. She pulls on the cuffs of her leather jacket, a new attitude seeming to fill her every pore as she yanks on the black hide. "We're not breaking any laws, there's no code or policy on the books in any fucking precinct in this God-forsaken state! We called! We checked! This...this is all just you being…" she takes a deep breath and she closes her eyes, licks and rubs her lips together, and when she feels herself calm down enough, she opens her eyes and speaks. "It hasn't been affecting how we work."

"Yet," Cragen dismisses. "You stand there and tell me you see this lasting, that you won't have issues working with him if this ever goes south!"

Again, she laughs, but it's more dejected now. Tears spring to her eyes at his words and she can't stop them from rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. "Captain, I grew up without a father, I don't need you to fill the void. Not like this. You wanna step in and be the kind of dad I need? Then just...fucking...be happy for me!" She shakes her head, the weight of it all landing on her fully. "Shit, I finally have a relationship that isn't based on the sheer fucking fact that I didn't want to be alone, or because I wanted to piss off my mother! I finally know what it's like to feel loved, and safe, and like I'm a part of a family! I get to be with him, and his kids, and nothing has ever felt more fucking perfect! You don't think I know it's all gonna blow up in my face? I am fully fucking aware that he's eventually gonna wake up and regret this! Regret...me...but fuck, I would have liked to make it a little fucking harder for him to just walk away!" She rakes her hands through her hair and grunts in pure frustration. "And no, I am fully fucking sure that we'd work just fine...when this all just...goes back to normal, we'll be fine. He's the only partner…" her lip trembles. Her eyes and nose burn and she shakes her head, losing grip of her voice and stability. She turns and storms out of the office, letting the door slam so hard against the plaster wall that there's certainly a hole where the doorknob hit.

Elliot stares after her for a few seconds, trying to process every word of her emotional tirade, and once he realizes what the last half of it actually means, he runs, not even saying a single word to Cragen. He pushes people out of his way, dodges eager officers and rookies who want to shake his hand, and he grabs her before she can push the elevator button on the hallway wall.

He doesn't give a shit who's watching, who can see them, he spins her around fast and kisses her with everything he has. His hands wind in her hair, his fingers dig into the skin of her scalp as he squeezes and presses her tighter against him. He feels the tears streaming down his cheeks, hot and angry, and he knows they're a mix of his and hers, and he doesn't pull away from her until his lungs burn with the need for oxygen. "Not leaving you," he pants, wheezes, and he clutches her tighter. "Never. I swear, this isn't…" he blinks. He swipes his thumbs under her eyes and he kisses her again. "How you could even think that...what we have…" he sniffles and he brushes his nose against hers. "You have to tell me you believe me."

"When you say it, I do," she whispers, and she shakes her head as she grips both of his hands in hers, peels them away from her face and she looks around, biting her lip. With another sniffle, she nods at the certainty that no one actually saw the devastating kiss in front of the elevator. She pulls him, then, toward the stairs. The new door, it's fresh paint, still gives her anxiety but she knows if she doesn't keep moving she'll collapse and cry again. "When he said...God, he thinks…"

"I know what he thinks," he interrupts, rubbing his eyes, and he stops her at the bottom of the first flight, presses her against the wall. His hard body is flush against hers, his nose brushes hers and he whispers, "He's wrong. Baby, he's wrong. I love you, and you…" he tilts his head. "You love me, don't you?" He blinks once. "Enough to marry me? Really...really marry me?"

She nods, and to prove her point, she kisses him. It's twice in less than five minutes they've made contact at work, something they swore they'd never do, but that was when they believed they were keeping a monumental secret, but now that they're aware that they aren't allowed to have secrets, they don't fucking care where they are. "I love you," she says to him. Her hands glide down his body and cup his ass tightly, she rocks into him so that her heat strokes against his cock, and they both moan at the contact and promise of more once they get home. "I don't know why he...God, he made me so fucking…"

He kisses her and stops her words. "Calm down," he says softly. "Tomorrow, okay? We'll stop and get our new phones on the way home, and tomorrow...we'll stop at the courthouse on the way in, sign our lives over to each other…"

"My life is yours already," she says, a small smile playing at her lips.

He grins. "You know you have mine," he affirms, "But I guess we just need to make it legal," he winks. "And then we will waltz into this building, happier than we've ever been, and I know you, you'll apologize even though he doesn't deserve it and…"

"I don't," Cragen's voice calls down to them. He takes a few steps toward them, stopping and sitting on a stone step. "This place...right here…" he splays a hand over his heart. "I can't tell you what went through my head when I thought you two…" he stops, shakes his head. "And then I find out two people I hired to back you up, keep you safe...were trying to kill you…" he shrugs. "I failed you. I tapped your phones...to protect you. I swear. I couldn't take it if I let someone else get too close, and I thought Agent Porter was someone I could trust. Believe me, I never would have…"

"Why?" Olivia's voice asked softly. She made her way over to Cragen and sat on the step below him, tugging on Elliot's hand to get him to sit next to her.

When he sits, though, he pulls her into his lap for his own comfort and so she could be eye-level with Cragen. He brushes her hair back and whispers, "Go ahead."

Still looking at Cragen, she shakes her head. "If your only concern was whether or not we were safe, why would you and Dean…"

"I thought this," he wags a finger between the two of them, meeting Elliot's eyes for a brief moment, "Was just because you almost…" he chokes and clears his throat. "Because of what happened. I didn't think…" he shakes it away, knowing the thought sounds ridiculous as soon as it's formed. "And because...is that really how you want to do this? You don't want to plan it? The dress, the guests, the cake, the car…"

"That's gonna happen," Elliot interjects. "Later, when we have…" he inhales and says, "We were pretty damn sure you were gonna fire one of us when you found out, so forgive us for not sending out thousand dollar invitations! Shit, all we really want...right now...is to have some schmuck in a black robe bang a gavel and tell me we are legally married and entitled to take care of each other, tell me she is legally mine, the kids can legally call her mom...and when we prove to you that a piece of paper isn't gonna change anything about how we work together...then we'll have the party with the church and the priest...and the dress of her dreams and the cake no one will eat, guests whose names we don't even know...and I will stand there and proudly tell the world that I'm going to love, honor, and obey her for the rest of my life."

Cragen smiles at him, blinks back a few tears of his own, and he says, "Then I'm the one who owes the two of you an apology." He looked at Olivia. "I never meant to hurt you, I was just…" he sighs and continues. "I thought getting you and Porter back together would...snap you out of what I thought this was. We planned to keep you guys running around in circles until it was too late to go see a judge...but tonight, when I found out he had other plans for you...I called in a favor from a friend."

Olivia nods and pulls herself out of Elliot's hold. She stands and shoves her hands in her pockets. "Thanks," she says, but she jerks her head to get her hair out of her eyes and says, "You didn't have to bug us, you could've just asked. This...this was beyond…" she runs her tongue along her lips, shakes her head, unable to finish her thought.

Cragen narrows his eyes as he looks at her, and he realizes this thing between her and Elliot has been going on longer than he thought. "What happened," he asks, "In Syracuse?" He looks at Elliot, then back at Olivia, and he gnaws at his cheek as he waits for someone to answer.

"Nothing," she breathes, and she smiles. "Everything." She swallows a new lump of emotion, and she takes a step backward. "That's something you're not entitled to know, something you wouldn't have heard no matter what wires you tapped. That's between me and El." She looks over at Elliot and her heart skips. "Between us," she says softly, and she turns, heading further down the stairs.

Elliot stands then, and before he follows Olivia he looks at Cragen. "We were trying to keep our private life private, but if you'd have just asked...we would've been honest with you." He shrugs. "Going behind our backs...even if it was for a valid reason...betrayed our trust. She's a lot more pissed off at you than I am, so your plan backfired."

Cragen scoffs and watches them rush down the stairs and hopes like hell he didn't drive a wedge between himself and the only family he has left.

Elliot hears Cragen sigh and the footsteps tell him that he's gone back out into the unit hallway. He picks up his speed to catch up to Olivia and he grabs her just as she reaches the side door. He pushes first, holding it for her, and he winks when she smiles at him. "You let him have it," he says, and he swipes away the last of her tears.

She nods, and then she moves into him, wraps her arms around him, relishing in the way he shields her from the frigid breeze at her back. "I don't know where that came from."

"He judged us, made you doubt us," he tells her, and he finally pushes her further out into the alley, letting the door close behind him. "You fought back, because you don't…" he sighs and he slides his hand down her arm and clutches her hand. "You don't doubt us, regret us...regret me."

"No," she exhales, and then she leans in to kiss him. "I'm regretting a few of the choices I made, but being with you…" she shakes her head. "The one fucking thing I did right." She kisses him again and pulls him, leading him toward the parking lot, toward the car, toward the house that awaits with its new furniture and fresh carpets.

"He had a point," Elliot speaks. He shyly scratches at the nape of his neck, hoping she will be agreeable to what he's about to suggest. "We should...plan a wedding. I didn't think…" he pulls on her, stopping her from getting into the passenger side of the Ford. "I was so consumed with fixing things, making our life from Syracuse our life here, I just didn't think...is that what you want?" He blinks as he stares at her, holding his breath.

"Like you said," she says, and she lifts her left hand and cups the side of his face. She gives him a warm, adoring smile. "Later. We will plan everything later, but right now...I just want…"

He stops her, slants his mouth over hers and presses her against the car. He moans her name, pulls away breathlessly, and nuzzles her for a moment. "I love you."

She chuckles and kisses the end of his nose. "I love you, too."

A/N: A night home. Next.