Chapter 30

If someone had ordered Erin to guess what she would be doing on a Friday night, squeezing into the back of Will's 4-door sedan with Owen in his car seat in the middle on their way to the cabin in Wisconsin would've been her last guess. But apparently, that was her reality now. After Will had dropped the bomb on them about he and Natalie eloping, he had hurried them to pack for the weekend away and basically pushed both of them into the back of his car and they were off.

"I thought you guys wanted an outdoor wedding in the Spring. What happened?"

Will looked back at Jay, holding Natalie's hands as he drove. "We've decided that we didn't want to wait any longer, especially after what we went through with the hostage situation. Life is short you know. We don't know what's going to happen every day."

"And we were lucky enough to find each other and we want to make it official as soon as possible. We want to be a family, the three of us." Natalie added, beaming.

"So what's the plan here?"

"Well, we've talked to Pastor Dave from that little church a few miles from the cabin. Remember him Jay?" Jay nodded. "He agreed to officiate the ceremony in the morning. That's why we had to rush you guys. We want to get to the cabin by about three in the morning, get a few hours of sleep and in the morning, me and Natalie are going down to the courthouse there and get our marriage license. In the afternoon, Pastor Dave will come and officiate the wedding. You two will be our witness." Will laid out the plan. "Jay, you'll be pulling double duty as my best man of course and a witness."

"It all seems a little rush Will," Erin piped in. "Are you two sure you don't want any other friends or family there? Natalie, how about your mom?"

Natalie shook her head. "My mom is still on vacation for a couple of more weeks. And it's not like we're not going to have a reception later where all of our friends and family can come. But for this, just the five of us is enough. That's all we need."

Erin smiled, touched by the fact that she was being included in this. When she first came back to Chicago, her and Will's relationship had been rocky to say the least. Will had been angry with her for how she left things with Jay—not that she could blame him—but they had worked through it and now they were on better terms. And even though she had never been particularly close with Natalie, Erin was appreciative that they wanted her to be there when they committed the rest of their lives to each other. "Thank you," she voiced, reaching across from the back seat to touch both of their arms. "For inviting me."

Will sent Erin a grin. "Of course we want you there," Natalie also nodded, agreeing. "Besides, we're going to be family." Erin looked over at Jay, curious at how he was going to react to Will's statement. She didn't know what to expect at Will basically implying that she and Jay were going to get married one day but as Jay just winked flirtatiously at her, she couldn't help but smile back, blushing under his attention. Jay kept his eyes on her and Erin couldn't look away and they shared their little moment in the backseat of the small sedan.

"Go birds!" Owen shouted, raising his little hands, turning to Erin. Erin chuckled, reaching over to tickle his tummy, causing Owen to shriek in laughter.

"Oh thanks by the way Erin, for teaching Owen about football," Natalie turned to look at Erin playing with Owen. "He has been saying 'go birds' all week. It's so adorable. Although it was driving my mom crazy. She's a Packers fan and Owen kept on saying 'Rogers bad' whenever they facetimed together."

"I had to teach the little guy about America's sport, seeing as how Will hasn't gotten around to it."

"Hey," Will shouted, indignant. "Football is a violent sport. It's barbaric."

"Oh this coming from the guy that got himself and Jay front row seats for MMA?" Erin shot back. "That's not barbaric?"

"That's art!" both Jay and Will said at the same time, causing Erin to roll her eyes, sharing a look with Natalie.

"Sure, sure," Erin relented.

"Besides your effort to turn Owen into a Bears fan has failed. I think you've turned him into a Seahawks fan instead."

"It's okay," Erin said, ruffling Owen's hair. "As long as there's one less Packers fan in the world, it's a worthy sacrifice." She turned to Owen. "isn't that right? Give me five!" She held her hand up and Owen gave her a high five. Erin laughed, looking up to find Jay looking at her completely mesmerized by her interaction with Owen. She reached over to hold Jay's hand, squeezing it. Jay didn't say anything, not wanting to break the moment so he just flipped her palm over and intertwined their fingers together.

It was a long ride to get to the cabin and Erin had slept most of the way there, only waking up every so often when there were heavy bumps on the road. Each time she woke up, she saw Jay either playing with Owen or helping Owen feel more comfortable in his car seat and each time, she just fell in love with him a little bit more. He was such a caring person and it was just instinctive for him, like he didn't have to think about it, it just came naturally. He had the biggest heart of anyone she had met and she just knew that he would be the best father to their children. She felt her heart skipped a beat when the thought of her and Jay having a kid made its way into her mind. She had never been the one to crave for the whole 2.5 kids and a white picket fence dream but as she snuck peeks at Jay playing along to Owen's game that only Owen understood the rules to, she felt herself wanting it more than anything—the whole nine yards with Jay.

They made good time and arrived at the cabin a little bit earlier than Will had expected. But seeing as it was past 2 in the morning, Erin was beat and she just wanted to crash for how many hours she had before she needed to get up and help Natalie get ready for the wedding. She stepped out of the car and stretched her body, yawning. Will and Jay unloaded their luggage from the car and led the way down the path to the cabin.

It felt almost strange for Erin to be back at the cabin. She knew just what this place meant to Jay. The memory of Jay excitedly telling her about the cabin and all the 'perks' that came with it for the first time still ran clear in her mind. That excitement and giddiness were only multiplied by ten-fold when he finally got her to willingly come to the cabin for the first time when they first became official and he had shown her around, showing off everything he talked excitedly about back in the bullpen and they were still sneaking around.

It had been right after Jay went through the whole ordeal with Terry. She didn't realize just how much Terry's death would impact Jay—since it hadn't been that long since they knew each other—but when she found him breaking down in the locker room, her heart completely shattered for him. There was her Jay, who had been nothing but strong and unwavering for her ever since she had known him, being a broken and sobbing mess on the floor and she couldn't do anything but just held him in her arms while he clung to her. She wanted to do something—anything—to ease his pain but she knew there was nothing she could do except let time pass by and let Jay work through the process. It wasn't until Voight told her that he had basically forced Jay to take a week off that the idea had come to her so she packed a suitcase for them and asked Will for the address and directions to the cabin and whisked him here—his favorite place to heal. It had been just what they both needed—time to themselves, doing nothing but getting lost in each other and healing each other with kisses and caresses and forgetting about the troubles and darkness that came with their job that was waiting for them back home.

She didn't think she'd be back here again after she and Jay broke up. But as soon as she stepped into the cabin, it was just like she remembered and the cozy feeling that the cabin always emitted the several times she had been here still remained the same.

"Why don't you and Jay take the master bedroom and we'll take the smaller one down the hall," Will suggested.

"No," Erin protested, not wanting to take the bigger room when it was Will and Natalie's special occasion. "It's your wedding. You guys have the big room."

Will shook his head. "It's okay really," Will insisted. "The master bedroom is practically Jay's at this point and besides, the three of us are only staying for tonight."

Both Erin and Jay frowned, looking confused.

"We're leaving for our honeymoon right after the ceremony tomorrow," Natalie explained, seeing the looks on Jay and Erin's faces. "We couldn't get a lot of time off of work and we really wanted a honeymoon so we're just kind of squishing everything in."

"Where are you guys going for honeymoon?" Jay asked.

"We can watch Owen while you guys go on your honeymoon," Erin offered at the same time.

Will held up his hand. "Thank you, really but the little guy is coming with us," Will picked up Owen and carried him on his shoulders. "It's going to be a family trip. We're going to Disneyland! You excited buddy?" Owen squealed with excitement at hearing Disneyland.

"That's your honeymoon?" Jay asked, narrowing his eyebrows. "Not very romantic. Although Owen seems very excited."

"Oh trust me Jay, this big kid here is more excited than Owen," Natalie quipped, fondly rolling her eyes at her husband to be.

Will grinned. "Star Wars Land," he clarified. "It's going to be so awesome!"

"I didn't know that you were one of those Star Wars geek."

"Hey!" Will said affronted, "We prefer to be called Star War enthusiasts."

"Yeah, I think 'enthusiast' went out the window when you tried to convince me that a real life size Stormtrooper would make a great piece of décor in the living room."

Erin's mouth dropped at that and she looked over at Jay. "Please tell me you're not one of them too."

Jay rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Of course not," he wrapped his arms around Erin. "Besides you know me babe. I'm a Trekkie," he winked, holding up the hand signal for the Vulcan salute.

Erin sighed, leaning into his arms and looking over at Natalie. "What have we gotten ourselves into?" she asked, commiserating over the fact that both of them were heads over heels crazy for the two Halstead brothers and every little quirks that came with them. Jay just chuckled, Erin feeling his chest rumbled against her head as he pulled her closer to him, dropping a kiss on her head.

"Too late, I've got you right where I want you," he teased, nuzzling their noses together. "And I'm not letting you go. Ever."

"Promise?" Erin asked, looking up at him, her hand on his chest. Jay nodded, meeting her for a kiss.

"Oh boo!" Will shouted, covering Owen's eyes with his hands. "My son doesn't need to see this. Get a room you two!"

Erin and Jay laughed, Jay bending down to pick up their luggage before grasping Erin's hands and leading her down the hallway to their room. "Finally a good idea from you Will!" Jay shouted, looking back at them. "Good night!"

"And here I thought we were the ones that were supposed to be sickeningly sweet, you know? Since we're the one that are actually getting married tomorrow. Not you two!" Will shouted at their backs. Jay just waved his hands up, ignoring Will.

Erin yawned, only having gotten about three hours of sleep, but they had a lot to get done before the Pastor would come over and Will and Natalie would officially be husband and wife and since it was just her and Jay, it was basically up to her get all the decorations up and ready before Will and Natalie came back from the court house with their marriage license.

After dropping them off at the courthouse, she and Jay had stopped by the local store and bought some flowers and a few other simple things to make the ceremony more eventful. Seeing as how it was such a small town, it didn't leave Erin much options to work with but she was crafty enough, stringing some flowers on a piece of twine to wrap around the porch of the cabin, creating a beautiful backdrop for the ceremony.

She stood up on the chair to reach the top so the entire porch would be wrapped around with the handmade flower vine, stretching on her tippy toe so she can actually reach it, despite already being on a chair. It was times like this that she hated being petite. Jay came out of the cabin and noticed her predicament and instead of helping her with his 6'3" length, he just leaned on the side of the banister, crossing his arms and grinning up at her.

"A little help here Jay?" she grunted.

"I think I'm fine here," Jay replied, "I'm enjoying the view too much," he added, his eyes stuck on her ass as he admired her from the bottom. She gave him a glare, muttering about how he wasn't going to get anywhere near that ass if he didn't get his own ass up on the chair to get this done. Jay laughed, walking over to where she was standing and lifted her off the chair by her legs with ease and set her down on the ground. Then he grabbed the vine from her hand, got on the chair and easily wrapped it around the top of the porch.

"What would you do without me?" he joked as he stepped down and came over to her. She pressed her lips together, pretending to think her answer over.

"Hmm, let's hope I never have to find out," she answered, hands reaching up to brush away a piece of flower petal that had fallen on his head. "Thank you."

He hummed, giving her a quick peck before stepping back to admire the handiwork. "It looks good."

"Yeah? Think they'll like it?" Erin was nervous. She wasn't the most creative person or had the girliest tastes. But she still wanted to make the cabin beautiful enough for a wedding, no matter how hastily it had been put together.

"They'll love it," Jay reassured her, wrapping his arms around her from behind as they stood on the steps of the cabin. Apparently luck was on their side because instead of the usual snow that was to be expected in Wisconsin in January, the weather was actually behaving. There had been a forecast of a snowstorm predicated for that night but it didn't affect the wedding so it was a problem for a later time. "I can't believe they're actually doing this," Jay shook his head. "For the past year, I have had to listen to both of them drone on and on about what they want at their wedding, which venues were available, which flowers they wanted. Trust me, I learned more about the in and outs of a wedding than I ever needed to know. And now they're giving up all that to elope."

"I guess when it just feels right, you just got to do it," Erin replied, resting her hands on his arms that were wrapped around her. "At the end of the day, it doesn't matter where they get married or what kind of flowers are there. It just matters the person that's waiting for you at the end of the aisle." He bent his head and laid a kiss on her neck, conceding and agreeing with her. She closed her eyes automatically, the sensation of his lips on the sensitive spot on her neck feeling too good not to. They remained standing in that position for a while, his head buried in her neck while he embraced her from behind before Erin pulled away. "Come on, we still have to finish a couple more things before they get back and I still have to change."

Jay knocked on the door and entered Will's room, finding his brother by the mirror, trying to put his tie on but having a hard time. Jay went over to him and helped Will fix his tie, Will giving him a thank you smile. After making sure that the tie was perfectly placed in the middle, Jay smoothed out a couple of wrinkles on Will's suit, looking at him in the mirror.

"You ready man?" Jay asked, meeting Will's eyes in the mirror. His brother looked a bit nervous but the happiness and excitement were evident on his face, nodding in reply at Jay.

"I can't believe it's actually happening," Will voiced, nerves filling his voice. "I can't believe this day is finally here. Who would have thought that I'd be getting married before you?" Will joked, sharing a laugh with his older brother.

"Yeah, who would've thought that you would stop screwing everything that moved in sight and would actually settle down?" Jay retorted, earning a playful punch from Will. He grinned, seeing the happiness on his younger brother's face before clearing his throat, voice more serious. "But really though, I'm really happy for you. You're about to get everything you dreamt about. A wife and a great son."

Will nodded, looking serious for the first time that day. There was a look of sadness in Jay's eyes that Will noticed and he knew that it didn't have anything to do with him. "Listen Jay," Will started, holding Jay's shoulder. "I just wanted to say thank you again for letting me propose to Natalie with mom's ring."

Jay nodded, solemnly before trying to put on his best smile. But it was clear that Will saw right through it. "No problem. You got there first, it's the right thing to do."

"But still," Will cut him off. "I know how important that ring is to you and how close you were with Mom. I'm sorry that you didn't get to propose to Erin with it like you wanted to. But I swear to you, we are going to take care of the ring and do right by it."

Jay dipped his head, accepting Will's words and promise, before pulling his brother in a tight hug. "I know. I have no doubt." He patted Will's back and pulled away, pasting on a smile. "Come on, let's go get you married."

The ceremony was short but sweet. Pastor Dave stood at the head by the lake, Will on one side, Jay behind him as his best man and Owen by Will's legs. Erin had helped Natalie get dressed into a simple white dress and of course, since it was freezing outside Natalie opted for a white faux fur coat to cover up. But Erin thought she still looked gorgeous all the same, the genuinely happy smile on her face making for the best accessory for the wedding.

Erin had led the way, walking along the flower covered path that she and Jay created earlier in the day and the whole entire walk down the aisle, Jay's eyes were on her as soon as she stepped out of the cabin, like he was completely captivated by her. She was just as enamored by him, seeing him stand there in his suit, looking incredibly handsome. They shared a secret smile as she continued down the path, their eyes never leaving each other until Erin reached the end and walked over to stand on the other side, ready to act as Natalie's bridesmaid.

The vows between Natalie and Will were incredibly heartfelt, both of them promising to love and respect each other and vowing to become a family, the three of them. Erin felt her eyes teared up, seeing Owen stand in between the couple, looking up at them with so much trust and love in his eyes, knowing that he was getting the family that he deserved. Will was going to make such a great step-dad, Erin was sure. It was obvious just how much he adored and loved Owen, as if he was his own.

When it was time to exchange rings, she glanced over at Jay, wanting to see his reaction and her smile faltered a bit when she noticed a faraway look on his face. He quickly recovered though, the smile coming back on his face but not quite reaching his eyes. Erin became curious at the slight change in his demeanor but was quickly distracted when Will had dipped Natalie into a passionate kiss as Pastor Dave had pronounced them husband and wife and she cheered, bending down to grab Owen's hands to join him in his cheers also. It had been a picture perfect moment as the newly pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Halstead, holding hands, shared another kiss before Will lifted Owen and the little boy was in the middle of the couple, both of them kissing each chubby cheeks. Erin cheered, raising her bouquet in happiness, her heart filling with pure glee for the new family.

Somehow Will had managed to pull his attention away from his new wife and stepson long enough to pull Erin into a hug, thanking her for all of her help. She brushed his thank off. "That's what family's for right?" He nodded, pulling her into another hug. Jay joined them and the two brothers shared another quick hug, Jay reiterating just how happy he was for Will in a sincere congratulation.

She held out her hand and smiled when Jay took it, lacing their fingers together before bringing her hand to his lips and laying a kiss on it. She looked up at him, searching for that look in his eyes that she saw earlier. "You okay?" she asked, brushing his jaw gently, eyes concerned.

He just nodded in reply, reassuring her that he was great before meeting her lips in a tender kiss. "I love you," he told her, gazing at her with so much sincerity in his eyes. He didn't need to voice it for her to know of his love for her, she felt it. She felt it whenever he looked at her, whenever he touched her, whenever he held her in his arms, as if he never wanted to let her go. But she loved hearing the words—so simple yet so complex all at the same time—just the same. He could repeat the three words a million times and she would never tire of listening to it.

After the ceremony, they had a quick lunch over at the only diner in town. It was a sight to be seen, the five of them in their dresses and suits, stuffing themselves into a booth at the diner, a round of burgers for each of them.

"I propose a toast," Jay spoke up, holding up his glass of water, "As the best man, it's my responsibility to make some sort of speech but given that I wasn't given much notice of the wedding taking place today, I don't have a speech prepared so I'm just going to speak from the heart." They all gave their attention to Jay, listening intently at what he had to say. "Will, my little brother, I am so happy for you and this journey you're about to embark on. I remember when you first met Natalie, you came back home to my apartment and just told me that you were in love. Of course, she couldn't stand you at first because come on, it's you," he joked, earning a round of soft laughters from Natalie and Erin while Will looked less amused. "But I knew she would see your sincerity and the love you have for her eventually. Because it was obvious to me from the start just how much you love her and how much you love Owen. Now as of today, you three are officially a family and I couldn't be happier for you, all three of you. Will, I love you man. And Natalie and Owen, welcome to the family."

They all toasted and cheered, glasses clinking against one another. Erin reached under the table to hold Jay's hand and he turned to her, giving her a kiss on the side of the head before bringing his arms around her. She leaned into his body, sighing in contentment, enjoying the perfect atmosphere between the five of them where love and happiness overflowed from each of them. The wedding and the reception might have been low key and non-fussy but it was just perfect because Will and Natalie got to celebrate their love for each other exactly the way they wanted to and Erin was happy that she was part of the day that was all about love.

By mid-afternoon, Will, Natalie and Owen had their luggage already packed and they were ready to leave for their honeymoon to Disneyland. Jay was going to be driving them to the airport for their flight and she and Jay were going to drive Will's car back to Chicago when they return home. She had hugged the newlyweds and Owen goodbye and wished them a fun honeymoon and they were off, ready to go on their first family vacation.

Erin had stayed behind, Jay reassuring her that he was fine driving them alone to the airport and that he'd rather she stayed behind to get some rest, knowing that she didn't get much sleep the night before. Erin honestly couldn't refuse, her eyes practically falling close by themselves so he just tucked her in bed and kissed her goodbye before leaving and Erin had easily slipped into a deep and restful sleep. There was just something about being at the cabin and being surrounded by nature and the peaceful atmosphere that made sleep come easier for her. She had dozed off completely and by the time she woken up, the light outside was gone and was replaced by complete darkness. There was a strong chill in the room and as Erin looked outside the window, she saw heavy snow coming down, the ground already being covered by inches of white snow. She rubbed her hands together in a sad effort to get warm and wrapped the blanket around herself and exited the bedroom, wondering where Jay was. She missed him and the warmth of his body and she wanted him in bed with her, holding her.

The whole cabin was now enveloped in darkness except for a soft glow coming from the living room, indicating where Jay was. Her feet patted lightly into the room, searching for Jay and that was where she found him. He was sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the couch, his legs stretched out and crossed by the ankles in front of him and he was holding a glass of what she assumed was whiskey. He was entirely focused on the crackling embers of the fire and even from where she was standing, she noticed the same faraway look on his face that she saw earlier. Clearly there was something on his mind and she wanted to find out what he was thinking.

She approached him slowly and he finally noticed her presence, looking away from the soft glow of the flames and up her, giving her a soft smile when he saw her face. The smile was soft but there was still something heavy behind it. She returned a smile back before she sat down on the couch behind him. She brought her leg over so he was sitting in between her legs and she bent down, enveloping him in her arms, her head going around his neck to look at him from the side. He turned his head slightly to the side to meet her eyes before leaning in to kiss her.

"You're awake," Jay said.

"It got too cold," Erin replied, nuzzling the crevice of his neck. "I missed you and your body heat." She laid a kiss on his skin.

"Ah, so you just want to use me for my body," Jay returned, trying to make a joke but Erin could tell it was half-hearted at best, almost like he only said it because he thought he was expected to. She held the bottom of his face and turned his head slightly so she could look into his eyes, still seeing the remnant of the distant look in his eyes from earlier. The pretense of a smile on his face dropped when he noticed her studying his face and he tried his head away from her grasp but she wouldn't let go.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, searching for an answer on his face about why she had noticed him being distant the whole day, like he was distracted or had something weighing on his mind. She tried to chalk it up to Will getting married—the younger brother getting married before the older one—but she knew Jay wasn't like that, he wasn't petty. Of course, he had tried to hide the look throughout the day, looking happy enough on the surface but whenever he thought no one was looking, that look returned to his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He tried to give her a reassuring smile but she wasn't buying it. He sighed, knowing that she saw right through his attempt. "Really, I'm okay."

She kissed his cheek, resting her lips on the smooth skin for a second. "I noticed you being a little off the whole day and I didn't want to bring it up earlier when Will and Natalie were here. But it's just the two of us now, whatever is going through your head, I want to know." She sought out answer, her fingers trailing soft patterns on his collarbone, trying to get him to relax enough to let his guards down and coax answers out of him. "It's me, Jay," she continued, her lips still on his face. "You can tell me anything."

He turned his head away from her so he couldn't look at her, Erin growing slightly more anxious at him pulling away. But he didn't go far, still remaining in her embrace as she still held him in her arms from behind. She felt him gulp, like he was bracing himself to say whatever he was about to. "Did you know that I was going to propose to you?" Erin let out a small gasp at that, snapping her head back so she could get a wider view of him but he was still avoiding her eyes, almost as if it was easier for him to say whatever he had to say if he wasn't looking at her.

"No, I didn't," her voice rough at finding this out. She really had no idea. Did he mean he was going to propose before two years ago when they were together? Or now when they reconciled? She was certainly surprised. "When?" There was a part of her that wasn't even sure if she wanted to know. To find out that she could've been engaged to him years ago but she had thrown it—and him—away.

"Um, it was when…" he cleared his throat, getting rid of some of the roughness that had built up at recalling the memories. "It was when we were apart and you were up at the review board and the whole Bunny thing. Before my mom died, she told both me and Will to whoever find the right girl first should propose with her ring. I knew I had the right girl so I asked Will to get the ring out of the deposit box so I could ask you to marry me."

She parted her mouth, both surprised and heartbroken at Jay's revelation. He was going to propose? They weren't even together then and she was doing everything she could back then to get over him and not feel her heart break every time she looked over at his desk and saw his face. "I had no idea."

He let out an empty laugh, "Yeah." He was breathing heavily and Erin knew he was having a hard time rehashing the painful memories. But she needed more clarification, he had essentially just dropped this bomb on her and she was left reeling from it. But before she can ask him, he continued. "I had the ring in my pocket the whole day, just waiting for the right time to ask you—to give us another chance and spend the rest of your life with me. I almost did it when I saw you outside of the station but you left before I could." She recalled the moment he was talking about, she remembered just telling him what she had found out about Bunny and walking away because it was too hard to be in close proximity with him and not touch him or fall apart in his arms. "Then I thought Molly's that night was the perfect time. I can just take you aside and explain to you just how much I fucked up by walking out and how much I wanted to come home. That I never stopped loving you even for a second. That somehow I loved you even more because I hurt you by leaving but you were still there for me. I waited and waited but you didn't show. I called and called but you didn't pick up." She rested her head on his shoulder, hiding her face, hating herself for how she acted that night. She remembered standing by the bridge, Voight's tag in one hand and her phone in the other—Jay's name flashing across the screen—and ignoring his calls, convincing herself that it was easier for her to just walk away. She wasn't thinking of him that night, of how he would feel to find her just gone.

"I'm sorry." That was all she could tell him. She couldn't go back in time, no matter how much she wanted to and do anything else but just leave him hanging. "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, finally turning his body around so he could face her. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He reached up to cup her face, giving her a small smile—even though all she saw in them were residual hurt and sadness of when they had fallen apart. "You did what you had to do. I understand that now."

"Doesn't mean I didn't hurt you." She brought her hand around his face, holding him so tenderly in her palm, almost as if he was a glass doll and she was trying to keep him from shattering in her hand. "The ring. It was your mom's ring?" He nodded. "That's the ring that Will proposed to Natalie with, isn't it? The one that I saw on her finger." She didn't need him to answer. Now she understood why he reacted the way he did when she first returned and gushed over Natalie's ring. Why he looked like he had been shot and why he needed to walk away immediately. "I'm sorry." She was repeating herself, she knew, but she didn't know what else to say.

He skimmed her lips, stopping her from apologizing again with a shake of his head. "It's not your fault." He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing at the action. "Will asked me for permission to use the ring. He said that he knows that it was meant to be on your finger but since we weren't together anymore, he'd like to give it to Natalie. I couldn't refuse him." He looked down at the floor, avoiding her eyes. "I didn't know if you were coming back or if I'd get another chance to ask you to marry me. So I gave him the ring. I thought I was fine with it and that I made my peace with knowing that I'd never be able to put the ring on your finger but when you came back and you were telling Natalie just how beautiful the ring was, I just broke. Because I wasn't over you. I'd never be able to get over you."

She took a chance and leaned into kiss him, wanting to take away some of the sadness and hurt that were written so clearly across his face, across his body. He returned the kiss, their lips connecting in the gesture of love. She pulled away and gazed into his eyes and licked her lips. "I love the ring. It is beautiful and the thought of wearing your mom's ring, I would've been so honored and touch." She brought an arm around his neck and the other under his face so he was looking at her. "But I'm glad that you didn't propose." A storm formed in his eyes at her words but she was quick to temper it. "Jay, both of us, we were a mess back then. I wasn't in the right headspace and neither were you. You proposing? It would've been just a bandage for the problems we were going through. It wasn't the right time."

He just nodded, trying to avoid her eyes but she wouldn't let him. She had more to say to him and it was time that they laid all the cards on the table, to tell each other what they want in the future and finally lay the past to rest, forever. "But it doesn't mean I didn't want to marry you." He snapped his head up at that, confusion in his eyes. She broke the hold she had on him and stood up, his eyes watching her every move. She bent down and straddled him as he sat on the ground, her arms coming around his neck so they were face to face with each other. "Or that I don't want to marry you," she confessed, seeing his eyes widened at her confession.

"What?"

She laced her fingers at the back of his neck, leaning into his face so close that she could feel the sharp intakes of his breath, his chest rising up and down at what she said. "I love you Jay." She kissed his nose. "I loved you then." She kissed his chin and he gripped her hips, finger splaying against her skin. "I love you now." She leaned in to kiss his lips but paused before their lips touched. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He inhaled sharply and before he could exhale, she met his lips, taking his breath away. One of his hand came to rest on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him as their lips moved in perfect sync. And she couldn't get enough of him and the taste of his lips and the life she got from his kisses. She moaned hungrily when his tongue entered her mouth, hungry and consuming, as his hands explored all over her clothed body, in search for a patch of bare skin that he could set on fire.

"Wait, wait," he pulled away suddenly but reluctantly, still breathing like he couldn't get enough air. "Repeat that last part. For me." He looked like he was waiting with bated breath for her to repeat her words so she tightened her hold around his neck and brought him even closer to her.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she whispered, lips ghosting over his but not meeting just yet. "I want to marry you Jay Halstead." He was looking at her like she had just told him that she solved world peace, nothing but complete love and awe in his eyes. She giggled, feeling the same type of giddiness that had taken over his face at her confession.

"Really?" he asked, as if he still couldn't believe it. She wasn't sure why, there was nothing she wanted to do than spend the rest of her life next to this man, loving him and cherishing him. She just nodded and was about to repeat the words again and again until there was no doubts between them when his lips suddenly crashed onto her. She gripped his shoulders when she was taken by surprise but she quickly recovered and met the fervor of his kiss. There was a sound from the back of his throat, a mix of a moan and a growl, and pure pleasure shot through Erin's stomach. "I don't have a ring," he whispered after he finally managed to pull himself away from her.

She chuckled, looking at his disheveled state. She was sure she looked equally undone but she didn't care. "I don't mean we need to get engaged right away Jay," she clarified and before his face could drop and he misunderstood her words, she quickly added, "there is zero doubt in my mind that we're going to end up together for the rest of our life. That one day in the future when we're both old and gray, we're going to be right back here at this cabin, retired and nothing holding us down and we'll have nothing but time to just love each other and spend our remaining days together." She caressed his face, fingers brushing over the freckles that dotted his beautiful face. "I don't need a ring right now. I don't even need a proposal right now. We will get engage when the right time comes and I can be patient because I already know how our story is going to end. We'll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after." Erin was never the type to believe in fairytales or grew up dreaming about a Prince sweeping her off her feet. But she didn't need to because being with him right then and there, she already felt like she was living in fairytale of her own and her Prince had found her, ready to whisk her away to their happy ever after.

"One day," he voiced, sounding nothing but certain, "Because I see that future too for us and I can't wait." She smiled, matching the one on his face. They both leaned in at the same time, meeting in the middle for a kiss. The kiss grew passionate as Jay ran his finger underneath her shirt and caressed the soft skin of her back. She toyed with the hairs on the nape of his neck, one of her favorite way to get him going. He parted her lips expertly, his tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. She pushed against his shoulder, feeling complete bliss at the way he was kissing her. She sucked his tongue, causing him to moan and she smiled, loving the way he was reacting to her. She swirled her tongue against his and his hands around her back gripped tighter, pulling her into his chest.

"Make love to me Jay," she whispered. She needed him, she wanted to come undone under his touches and wanted to feel her body blazed up under his kisses.

"The doctor said," he began, hesitant, not wanting to hurt her. But she was quick to stop him, bringing her hand up to his mouth to quiet him.

"I don't care. I need you." She knew he wouldn't be able to refuse her and she was proven correct when he sealed his mouth over hers again. She smiled into the kiss, anticipation building in her stomach at what was to come. This had been building for a month now, both of them had been counting down impatiently so their bodies could express the ultimate language of love and trust.

Despite them not having made love to each other in a long time, the deliberate way Jay had undressed her completely had let her known that they were going to take this nice and slow. He laid tantalizing kisses on her neck, her collarbone before bringing the heated kisses over to her bare breasts, his tongue coming over them and she arched her back, gripping his shoulder when he began sucking on a nipple while his hand was playing with the other, making the nipple taut from pleasure. Even though she was loving the attention he was showing her chest, she needed his lips on hers again so she slid her hand around his neck and pulled his head up and crushed their lips together again. All the while, her hands were skimming across his stomach, hands going under the shirt to feel all the edges and ripples of the abs. She pulled his shirt off of his head and tossed it to the side, thinking it was only fair for him to be at least half naked when she was already completely bare under his ministration. He sent her a seductive look as his fingers reached down and slipped between her legs. She groaned, tossing her head back at the way his fingers were working her open, her breath becoming heavier with each passing second. She was completely lost in the raw sensation of not being touched for so long and soon enough she was gripping his shoulder as he worked to bring her over the edge for the first of many that night.

She tried to regain her breath but he didn't give her the chance to before his hands came around her back and lifted her before gently laying her on the floor, nothing but soft carpet under her skin and the fire beside them illuminating every inch of her body. But even the embers that crackled beside them was nothing compared to the fire she saw in his eyes, looking like he wanted to completely devour her and she was thoroughly ready for anything he wanted to do to her body.

He started by kissing every inch of her body, so slowly that it left her trembling. He kissed her thigh, goose bumps forming on the milky skin, and his breath ghosted right over her core. He looked up at her, meeting her eyes, smirking when he saw just how desperate she was for him. The smug bastard. But before she could voice her impatience, his tongue entered her, causing her to gasp out loud at the pleasure that coursed through her entire body at that. He lapped her fold and flicked his tongue over at her most sensitive spot that she gasped out loud, hands reaching down to grab his hairs. "Jay," she moaned, the pleasure almost being too much but needing more of it at the same time. He continued his mission—kissing, nibbling and diving deeper that it drove her absolutely crazy. She couldn't control her hips as they began trembling, bucking up to meet every movement of his mouth until she came apart, her body left trembling from pleasure.

He pulled himself up to her face, smirking and enjoying the reaction he had gotten from her before bending down to kiss her. She needed more of him and this time, she needed more than his tongue. She wanted to feel every inch of him as he entered her and fucked her senseless. So she reached her hands down to begin working on the zipper of his pants and tugged his pants down, Jay helping to unclothed himself. She wrapped her hand around his cock, tugging at the length, Jay getting harder by the second and he groaned his pleasure into her chest, burying his face in the slopes of her breasts. She wanted to return the favor, to bring him over the edge with her mouth just like he did for her and she began to move down but he stopped her, shaking his head.

"Tonight, it's all about you. I want to make you feel good," he said, hovering over her. "So tell me what you want."

"I need you in me right now," was her demand and he was ready to comply to her request. He brought her hands up over her head and he laced their fingers together, giving him full control over her. But there was no fear in her eyes, no hesitation, nothing but pure lust and anticipation, ready to feel all of him inside of her. He brought one of his hand down to his cock, guiding to her entrance and slowly, he entered her, making her lose her breath in pure bliss.

He stared at her again, holding her gaze before meeting her lips and slowly he began to move his hips. It was almost torturous at how slow he was moving at first like he wanted her to feel every inch of him as he moved in and out of her. She wrapped her legs around him, clutching his back to bringing him closer to her. Her gasps became louder as he fastened his speed, scratching his back in pleasure. He crushed their lips together again, unrestrained as their tongues moved wildly against each other and he brought her hands up again, their fingers laced together tightly as he drove into her again and again. She moaned into his mouth, feeling the pleasure mounting in her body with each feral snap of his hips. He was grunting over her now, half muttering just how much he loved her were flying out of his mouth. The way she was feeling right now, she felt her heart was about to explode as she hung on for the ride until they both arrived at the climax.

And with a couple of urgent kisses and a few more snaps of his hips, she had finally arrived at her destination and she fell over the edge, her body left quivering after reaching her peak. He was chasing his own release and a few second later, he released the most sinful guttural groan as he reached his climax, emptying himself inside of her, pulling her close to him as possible.

She had lost count of how many rounds they had gone tonight but it was as though they couldn't get enough of each other. Every kisses and every touches still set her body on fire and she was putty under his hands. She ran her finger through his hair gently as he laid his face on her chest, both needing to take a breath after the latest climax. He smiled at the soft actions and she kissed the top of his head. She just loved him so much that she wanted to tell him over and over again. So she did, there was nothing stopping her. Not even her life long fear of coming off vulnerable to other people was strong enough to stop the overflowing of love she felt for him.

"I love you too," he returned, tilting his head up and resting his chin on her chest to gaze up at her. "So much." She smiled, especially when she felt him growing to life again. It was crazy, how quickly he could recover, as if no matter how many times he has had her, it wasn't nearly enough. She felt the same so she brought him up over to her and flipped them around so now she was straddling him, his hands coming up to rest against her hips. She bent down to kiss his lips. "Now it's my turn to make you feel good," she whispered raspily and she began working to bringing him the ultimate pleasure and have him fall apart under her touch, the fire still burning strong in the background, not withering, just like their passion for each other.

Erin was almost sad that it was time to go back. The weekend had gone by quickly and it was Sunday morning now and it was time to head back. Her body was deliciously sore but she didn't regret anything, even if she'd be feeling it for the next couple of day. Last night had been amazing. Her and Jay have had great sex before, they have made love countless times but last night, there was something different. She didn't think sex with Jay could get better but last night proved her wrong.

She crossed her arms as she waited for him to bring their luggage out on the front porch of the cabin. Last night's snow storm had blanketed the entire area with fresh white snow and she couldn't help but think of the fresh snow as a complete blank slate. Much like the one she and Jay got last night after Jay had finally told her about his failed plan to propose to her with his mother's ring. It was as if the last piece of their past that was unknowingly hanging over them had finally fallen off, giving them a fresh new slate to start the rest of their lives together.

Now Jay knew that she wanted marriage in the future and she received the same assurance. It wasn't time for to be engaged just yet, she wanted to just enjoy the time with him as a couple before adding a ring and a wedding but there was a lightness in her heart at knowing that it would definitely happen in the near future. And as he came out and stood next to her, wrapping his arms around her from behind and laying a kiss on her cheek, she knew he was feeling the same lightness she was feeling too. She tilted her head to kiss him.

"Ready to go back home?" She nodded, closing her eyes when he kissed her forehead and her nose before meeting their lips again. The cabin had been nice—a nice escape from their everyday lives—but their future was waiting for them back in Chicago.

"Let's go home."

I know a couple of you were wondering when Erin was finally going to find out about the ring. But I had been planning for her to find out like this, by Jay telling her and as a way of them finally putting everything about their past in the past and leaving no more secrets or baggage. I hope I did it justice.

Anyway, next they are finally going to return to work and that means new partnerships and new cases in Intelligence. As always, thank you to everyone that reviewed/favorited/followed the story. I love reading all your guys' thoughts, especially when they're detailed. Thank you guys, really.