XXX.

Like a man struck at his heart, shocked and in awe, Daryl looked at Beth as she descended slowly down the staircase, her hand at the railings, smiling, looking back at him.

Words…Daryl had never been good with words, they always failed him to express what he meant, what he felt, but as he stared Beth Greene all pretty in a dress, Daryl had felt deeper than any time—as if he'd even lost his tongue.

Still smiling at him, she stopped in front of him, and her smile grew wider. "How do I look?" she asked, making a little spun around herself to show him…better herself as if he needed it.

She looked beautiful…she was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen it. She pinched the hem of her dress's skirts with her two fingers, pulling the flare hems a bit to the side, made a little gesture—still smiling, and Daryl just wanted to take her back to upstairs again, throw her a room and forget the damn party… He had no place in the damn thing anyways—especially not as Beth looked this…stunning and he looked like a beast. "Amanda picked it up for me—" she continued, showing him off the mix blue-green dress, "You liked it?"

He gave her another look… He suspected there was even a little make up at her face, her eyes looked smoky, her eyelashes were thicker and her cheeks were poignant—Beth was always a beauty, a natural beauty, but…now… goddammit! His eyes cast down at himself—he was still wearing the same flannel shirt under his leather vest, his appearance normally meant nothing to him, he got nothing to prove—he had never, but as he looked at an all dressed up prettily Beth, he understood once again he was the Beast in the Beauty and The Beast. He shook his shoulders, "You look beautiful."

Even though his tone was still gruff, Beth smiled at him bigger, and gave him a little kiss at the cheek. "Aren't you sweet…" She pulled back and asked, "You wanna change too? I'm sure we could arrange another shirt for you, too."

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm good. Got nothing to prove," he muttered, and swore at himself as soon as the words left his mouth.

Beth's smile vaporized, and her soft eyes hardened, "Do you think I do?" she hissed, "I'm trying to show off myself?"

He shook his head hurriedly. "No… I just meant…" he faltered again, not knowing what he'd actually meant, then grunted.

Shooting at him a glare, Beth hit his shoulder, passing him by, "You're an asshole, Daryl Dixon," she bit off, and walked to the open adjourned kitchen at the end of the drawing room where Amanda was still with Rick and Carl as they ate her cookies. Everything was turning into a joke with them, Daryl thought.

Just three days ago, they'd been eating worms on the road. Now, Amanda was making cookies, Rick was having relationship advices from Beth, and they were going to parties, looking all pretty. Even Rick had changed his brown t-shirt with a white dress shirt, looking sharp and finely suited. Daryl knew for the other man the party was a part of the game, and it was—but still…

Amanda exclaimed seeing Beth, "Oh my, you look…stunning, Beth!" she cried out, "I told you it's your color!"

Now that sounded like the reaction Daryl had been supposed to show off, too, because Beth smiled at the woman wider, "Thanks."

But Amanda was right. She really looked stunning, and the mixed blue and green of the dress made the color of her eyes shining even more, and he was getting pissed at himself he hadn't told her that himself but she had found it from Amanda Shepherd instead…but…it was damn ridiculous, and he looked like a beast…

Rick pushed the plate with the cookies at the island over to him, and Daryl obliged the silent offer, Daryl had a very good idea for who exactly the cookies had been made—and it was weird—all things were weird now—him in Alexandria—going with parties with Beth, Rick having a relationship with Amanda Shepherd, eating her cookies… and for a moment, Daryl really wished to be back in the woods when things weren't these…weird, when things…were just ugly. With an inward sigh, he took a cookie, sniffed at him… Amanda glowered at him and Beth gave him a look, Daryl then took a bite.

It was actually very good. "It's good," Daryl said, nodding.

Suddenly, Amanda beamed up, her glowering vanishing, and it was one of the weirdest things too, "Really?" she asked, she turned to Beth, and smiled at her, "I had help," the older woman said, "Beth is an excellent cook." She turned to look at Rick, and her smile grew bigger, "Tomorrow we're going to cook casserole with Carol!"

What the hell!

What the fuck was happening over there?

He turned to Rick as well, giving the man a questioning look, but Rick shrugged with ease, but at his lips there was a faint smile as if he was pleased, Carl looked neutral, just eating the cookies. Just right that moment, Michonne walked in—and seeing them all together she faltered in her steps, giving the scene a look.

The air tensed, Daryl could even sense it at the back of his spine. Amanda gave a look back at the other woman, her eyes dark and heavy as Rick stayed rigid, then Amanda smiled and broke the silence. "I made cookies," she said, a fake sweetness dripping from her tone, then closing on in Rick, she wrapped her arm around his waist…"Wanna try one?" She smiled wider, "Rick says they're good."

Michonne stared at them, gesture clear and open, and Rick stayed in her embrace, but throwing at her a side glance, he pulled her closer to his side in response. Michonne shook her head. "No. I'm good."

Amanda shrugged off, her smile vanishing, "Lost your chance, too bad."

The comeback hadn't been anything about cookies, Daryl knew, so did everyone. Including Michonne. Michonne sent her another look, but without a word went upstairs.

Both Rick and Beth turned to Amanda. She looked at them back, and shrugged again, "Well, she doesn't like cookies as much as you do, I guess."

# # #

"Will you play nice, Amanda?" Rick asked over Judith's little cries inside the room as she got ready in the bathroom. The room as he was realizing now was going to be their room. It looked like to him it was the time they started using the rooms, of both houses, settling down and having a bit of privacy because the moment back in the kitchen was still awkward, despite everything, and Rick didn't want it to be.

He wanted this, he wanted all of his family be at ease, too, so…they were going to settle down and watch it… Alexandria was going to be their home, Rick was adamant on that now, more than anytime. They needed this. They all needed this. He looked at Judith in his arms, smiling at his little baby girl. Even Judith liked this place, she had stopped crying that much since they had arrived—and she was going to have a room now for herself with his father, too…and with Amanda.

The thought stopped him for a moment. Amanda didn't like babies…she had already confessed, he understood she had her reasons, too, and even though she'd said Judith was different because she was his daughter, Rick suddenly felt a fear that if she could do it—stay with him and Judith. If she couldn't, she was going to have to move out. Rick had wanted Carl to have another room for himself, too, have a bit privacy as he needed it in his teenage years, but the notion disturbed him with Amanda. He wanted her to be with him—share his room—share his life…they weren't doing this half way… No. And if she couldn't do this with Judith….then she couldn't do… His thoughts were spinning out of control, and he slowed down himself. They needed to slow down, he reminded himself. They were fairly new at this. It wasn't even a month they'd started sleeping—and at the big part of those times they had been on the road, either trying to survive or fighting. They'd already had two big fights and a break up…

He needed to slow down. They needed to take it slow. Since the time she'd come to him asking if they would try to find it out, he'd wanted to take it slow. Amanda got issues, he got issues; they were both keeping it together by a thread, fighting with nails and teeth, so he fucking needed to slow down.

"Play nice?" Amanda asked back from the other side, "I thought I'm."

He looked at the bathroom's door. "That wasn't nice down there." Now, she was again marking her territory, and he didn't mind it, not really, but Michonne was a part of their family, whatever not happened between them. Amanda needed to learn to live with it as well.

She opened the door, "I just wanted her to eat…my cookies, too, Rick," she said, walking out.

…And Rick stared…stilling Judith in his arms, thoughts of cookies, and playing nice and Michonne disappearing off his mind. He just couldn't help himself, kept staring at her.

Rick knew she was an attractive woman, he'd already seen all of her…assets, and she was his type, too, with her slender figure, green hazy eyes and soft auburn hair. But he'd so grown accustomed to see her with floppy, oversize police uniforms and dirty t-shirts the sight of her took his breath away. She must have been the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen for a long time…except of his hallucinations of Lori—all in white, tall and graceful…and though as she looked tall and graceful, too, Amanda didn't look anything like Lori now, not a bit.

She was clad in black, head to toe; the only color on her was the red on her lips. She didn't put on make up much, only black eyeliner and red lipstick but they did wonders with the black dress, turning to her almost another woman…not someone who got brain pieces inside her tangled hair just a few days ago.

He hoisted Judith up in his embrace as she'd slipped down a bit and nodded at her, "You look beautiful," he told her, because she really did, she looked beautiful in every sense of the word.

She smiled at him with content, "Thanks," she said, walking to them, and started caressing Judith's cheek, and lifted her eyes up at him, "I tried hard. You know…competition and whatnot…"

He gave her a look, "You don't need to…"

She shrugged, smiling at Judith—"Never hurt to be cautious," she said, and asked, looking at him again, her fingers still caressing softly Judith's cheek, "She likes this place, right? She doesn't cry much now like before."

He nodded, "Yeah. She does."

She smiled bigger, red lips pulling out sincerely, "She's a smart girl," she said, laughing softly, "Knows where she could have a bit of privacy."

The sight of her with Judith tightened something in his chest, and he asked, "Amanda—do you—uh—mind having the room with me and Judith. I can't leave her."

Her hand stopped, and she lifted her head at him again. "Do you want me to stay with you?" she asked low in her throat.

Rick shrugged off one shoulder, looking back at her. "If you don't mind…"

Her eyes skipped to Judith again then back at him, and her lips grew even wider, soft and gentle, "No, I don't think I'd mind it, Rick."

He leaned in on her to kiss her, Judith between them, but laughing she pulled back from him, "No, sorry, red lips—" she pointed her lips with her finger, "Can't kiss."

Rick bowed his head with a sigh.

# # #

Daryl Dixon was the most stupid, obnoxious asshole that had ever walked on this suck-ass world, Beth had decided as she waited in the house for him to come back whatever the hell he'd been so they could go to the party like the rest of them. Everyone had already left. She was alone in the house, because the damn date was nowhere to be seen.

She wondered if he'd gotten the cold feet again, running away, and she would need to go after him, but for goodness sake, she'd thought they had already passed that. Carol had warned him before she should have been ready of his tantrums—but calling her out like that—saying she wanted to show off herself… Why he always got her at the wrong way, she had no idea, assuming the worst!

And was it really that bad that if she wanted to be pretty, if she wanted people to see her pretty! It was called common decency, it showed that you cared! She'd been so happy when Amanda had showed her the dress, not only because of the gesture itself—having someone actually thinking of you—remembering you, believing that something would suit you, but because she wanted to be at her best—because she cared… because they were all trying.

Everyone had put some clean, better clothes, Rosita even wore a dress like them. Rick had wore a dress shirt, Abraham had a polo t-shirt, Maggie and Glenn, too, everyone, except Daryl. No, Daryl just had to be…the misfit he always was, different than them…because he got nothing else to prove… yeah…having nothing to prove, her ass.

Then he showed up, walking into the door, with a new jacket—another leather jacket, looking clean and new—and he seemed to have another black shirt too underneath, just like the old one—only cleaner. Beth stared at him, titling her head aside, "I thought you got nothing to prove," she said snappish.

He shrugged, "It's a good jacket."

And yes, it was, he really looked good on him, too, but she wasn't going to tell him that. She was still pissed. Then he pulled something out behind his back and taking a big step with one leg, he extended it to her.

Bowing her head, Beth looked at the wild flowers clenched in his fist. "I'm sorry," he said then, handing her the flowers, "I was an asshole."

She took the flowers, then looked at him back. "You really look beautiful, Beth."

Forgetting that she was still mad at him, she then leaped on his arms and kissed him. "You're really lucky, Daryl Dixon, that I love you whole," she said, breaking the kiss a second after, "even when you're an asshole."

He gave out a chuckle, but leaned down for her again, but she pulled back. She knew if she let him kiss her again, they wouldn't leave the house for a while, Daryl was having that look again in his eyes, the look that told her he wanted to eat her whole… and he found her pretty, she thought her insides swarming… It made her so happy… she wanted to laugh and showed herself off to him… She shook her head, pulling back further, " Let's go to party," she said, "Rick's waiting." She started dragging him outside the house, and told him adamantly, "And as a return for being an asshole, you're going to dance with me."

She just so wanted to dance with him… laughing…smiling… being happy… But he faltered at his steps, "No. I won't."

"Oh you will, Daryl Dixon," she said, pulling his hand, "Wanna bet?"

"I don't dance."

She gave him a looking look, "You will, with me."

And he was. Beth was determined on it.

# # #

As they walked to Deanne's house, Amanda tried to settle down her flip flopping stomach and focus on that was important. It was a battlefield she reminded at herself, they weren't having a downtime here, they were going to war, but she walked her hand tugged, loosely looped around his arm, Amanda was having a hard time remembering that.

He wanted to share a room with her, and she'd told him she wouldn't mind it—and she wasn't—looking at him, thinking how a life sharing her personal place with Rick and his little baby would be, and she had found she didn't mind…trying it. No, not only she didn't mind it, she actually wanted it. It was going to be so bad—she knew, Rick wasn't an easy person to get on with, nor was she, and the baby—well, the baby, biological or not, had taken that after his father, too, and she knew she was going to lose her shit—but she didn't care. She just wanted it…wanting it so badly it had started scaring her.

But even her fears wasn't enough to stop wanting it, it seemed. In a rational part in her brain, where she usually turned very reasonable, she knew they needed to slow down a bit—they needed time to settle down, it was at the end of the world, and they had been through some real shit together, and both was wanting it…so what the hell… They could slow down after that. It wasn't like that they had much spare room in the houses, too, some people just had to be partnered with others, and why not with Rick, right? It sounded…enough reasonable.

"The boy Daryl found today at the woods," Rick said before they arrived to the Deanne's house, "He was Jessie's boy."

"What?" Amanda asked, turning to him.

"Yeah," Rick said and slowed their pace, as if he wanted a bit alone time for them, before they came to the house, "The boy broke something in the morning and escaped to the woods in fear. He told Daryl his father always gets mad. And I saw drunken last night—Beth said she smelled alcohol in the morning too. Daryl sensed something off… He's good instincts for this stuff, and I trust them." He paused, "He's got his own sonar panel too in the house, a field of supplies at the back of his house, too," he said pointedly.

Amanda sighed out then. It was getting too familiar for her tastes. "It's like Grady all over again," she muttered, shaking her head, "Dawn used to try to keep Dr. Edwards and Gorman happy too. It was easier with Edwards, the man was a pig and coward, but…Gorman was a whole another matter."

He gave her a hard look, and she knew he didn't like it, and she could understand, she still didn't make hew own peace what she'd done at Grady as well. "What did she do?" Rick asked.

She stopped, giving him a look and decided to tell him. She wanted him to know what had happened at hospital. He'd said they'd all done things. She wanted him to know hers too, it was a new start… she was going to share a…room with him. Amanda was damn aware what that meant. A part of her wanted to him to know it, know her.

"What I did…" she told him then, "Gorman was getting unruly. I thought he was getting cabin fever and would cool down if he got a woman or settle down, or something. So there was Joan—she was a beautiful, smart woman, she was a nurse, wasn't one of the wards. I talked to her, told her to…seduce him, keep him happy etc. She didn't oppose, it got perks, you know, not like sonar panels, but she didn't have to mop the floor at least. She sort of liked Gorman at first, too, I guess… So, yeah, at first it was good," she continued, letting out a sigh, "Gorman got winded down, Dawn was happy, and I thought we just had just evaded another disaster after Hanson—but after a while…stuff started happening. He got worse. At some point Gorman had grown too much powerful at the hospital, and it turned on him. Joan wanted to finish things with him. I saw her a couple of times with bruises—not like the kind of you gave me, either—then Dawn just said no. She said she had to continue—told her it was…her job…" She let out a sigh again… and stopped.

Rick looked at her, and stated placidly, "And you let her."

She felt a bit annoyed with the tone of his voice, but shook herself out of it. She did what she had to, just like he'd told them before. She still felt what would have happened if she'd stepped in before—if she hadn't been…scared of taking responsibility… but that was another thing.

"Yes, I did," so she accepted, and told him, "I once told Beth not everyone was lucky like her, having a Rick and Daryl, because we did have Gorman, and someone had to deal with him. And we still needed him, and he knew it, too. So it only got worse... so worse that just before they brought Beth, I couldn't take it anymore. Joan was losing it. Dawn was losing it even more—and Gorman—" she let out another deep sigh, shaking her head. "I sent Joan away. I told her to try her chances out there. I was afraid if she stayed she could've killed herself—or worse Gorman did it…"

She stopped and stared at Rick, a sudden thought struck at her. She shook her head. "I'm gonna hate this, I'm so gonna fucking hate this…" she muttered, "You need to go and talk to Jessie, Rick," she said then, "Go and…flirt with her—try to get her open. We both know she came to you for a reason… If there's something, you have to open her up. We need to know what's happening."

# # #

The party was everything he'd ever hated—but he'd been trying…not an asshole. He still felt like a beast next tor her as they stood in the saloon of the Deanne Monroe's house, at the edge, sipping through a soda, watching, but he didn't care anymore.

He was here, the feel of sticking out like a sore thumb was even heavier when all the rest of them got themselves dressed up, but he didn't care. He'd gone and been a prick to Beth again, so he was trying now. Besides, Rick needed this. Carol and Beth were going to steal the weapons, so Daryl had to be here as well. It was simple as that.

Rick was at the other side of the room, talking with Amanda heatedly over something, and Daryl could see that Amanda Shepherd had gone all way done to make sure everyone knew with whom they were dealing with—she looked good, too, in a way showing off if you hurt me, I hurt you back.

Grunting, Daryl turned and looked for Beth. She'd gone in the kitchen for drinks, and he saw walking out of there a couple of minutes later with a man…goddammit, it was the idiot that got a fight with Glenn today after returning from a supply run, the man who Daryl had tumbled down off Glenn and almost started to take a beating just before Rick and Michonne arrived and took him off of the man. He was the Monroe's big son, a rich dumbass prick who thought himself like a survivor of the town. Glenn had told them the story, making Daryl certain was again the general stupidity of these people, but now the dumbass was coming out of the kitchen with Beth—his drink his hand, laughing at something Beth had said, and suddenly he found himself wishing go there and really beat the hell out of him.

He brought the soda up to his lips, and drank it in one gulp as if he was bottling up scotch. He wished a drink now. The first and the last time he'd ever had a drink before was the time he'd been with cabin with him, drinking moonshine, and he would never drink again now, slip his guards off, walls or not.

If something happened to Beth while he was drunk off on his ass, he would never forgive himself. But Beth walking a bit tipsy, she'd been drinking a bit too much of that punch—and he frowned, walking to them. He took the cup from her hands, glowering at her, "That's enough shit for you tonight," he bit off at her.

Beth rolled her eyes, and came closer at him, "Daryl, loose up. We're having a party," she slurred a bit over the words, trying to reach for her drink, smiling and all.

He pulled back his arm, "Beth," he warned.

She pouted at him, and he just wanted to throw her over his shoulder and be done with it, "Daryl," she told him back.

Laughing, the man gave her his own drink, "Come on, man, don't be a spoilsport."

Daryl nailed him a hard look, taking his drink as well and pushed the glass at his chest, spilling all of its contents over his silken shirt. "Get lost," he rasped out, and grabbed Beth at the elbow and started dragging her away.

"Beth," he told her in chiding voice, "What the hell are you doing?" he asked her.

"I'm having fun, Daryl," she told him back, "What the hell are you doing?"

"We ain't here for fun," he reminded her, "Rick wants us to watch. You're going to lookout for Carol," he told her, "and you're getting your ass off drunk."

"I'm not drunk—" she said, rolling her eyes, "and I just learned a Aiden is an idiot, but—" she said, pointing her finger up, "He's a funny idiot."

"I'm glad," he bit off.

"Come on, Daryl," she said, leaning on further in him, "Loosen up. Let's have a bit fun. There's no rule saying we can't do both. Look—" she waved at her left side, "Even Rick is having fun a bit—" she said, as Rick had just leaned on in Amanda and told something in her ear, and the woman started laughing, "Let's dance," Beth then told him-he snapped his head back at her, "Pleasee…." she drawled out…

He frowned. "No."

She gave him an imploring look, "But I want to dance." She took his hand, and swayed on her leg with the rhythm of the music that played at background, "It's not that hard."

"No," he said again, and pulled his hand back.

"Fine," Beth bit off then, "Then I'll just find someone who would dance with me."

She spun on her heels then and started walking away from him. The sight... the way her dress aired up and flew over her as she turned around…the way she walked tipsy—her hips strutting-they all just made him boiling with lust—and he just wanted to throw her over his shoulder for real this time, and brought her to his cave, but then she stopped when she saw Aiden, where the idiot stood with a few of his other friends, and some of them were already swaying on their feet and Beth just joined them.

Daryl grimaced. She sent him a look as if to call him to her side, but he still shook his head. He wasn't going to go to her. If she wanted to play it like this—then fine, they would play it like this, and damn her! She just turned and started dancing with Monroe. His grimace turned into a full-on scowl, but he still didn't move from at his place, and started getting an inkling that he'd been being tested with jealousy, damn her! She had passed too much time with Shepherd!

He stared at her darkly as she twirled around in front of Monroe, her eyes sweeping off away from him to Daryl, looking at him in challenge, and each time his eyes turned darker, sterner, his scowl turned grimmer, and his jaw started hurting as he tightened it, but still he didn't move an inch where he stood.

Then Monroe placed his hand over her waist—as she stumbled on her feet for a second, and stayed there. Instead of looking at the man, though, Beth turned her eyes at him, not pulling back from the other man's touch too, just watched him as he stood there, then the hand started creeping downward—along her hip—Beth's eyes were still on him—challenging him…without a growl—he took quick, long strides, and grabbing her, he yanked her off of the hand, and pulled her at his chest. His arms tightened at her. "That wasn't nice, Beth," he whispered at her roughly as he moved them backwards.

She giggled, resting herself further on him, "You weren't…dancing with me."

"We're dancing now," he said then as he moved them still going backwards, and their tangled bodies and her tipsy steps looked as if they were swaying on their feet.

Beth laughed throatily at his neck, the tip of her tongue just flicking at his skin, "You're very multi-tasking, Dixon," she breathed out in his ear.

"You're drunk," he told her, tilting his head down.

"I'm drunk…on love," she told him back, tilting her head up.

He then kissed her.

# # #

"We need to have another fight," Amanda declared, looking at him seriously in the corner they fell back, his eyes wandering over the crowd, looking and searching. Watching.

And every time told himself he couldn't be surprised by her anymore, Rick was stood corrected. First she just told him to go flirt with Jessie, like it hadn't been herself throwing a fit just yesterday because of that, now she declared they needed another fight. His eyes skipped at her, and she gave out a sigh. "Well, you gotta have a—uh-a common point, to whine at each other," she shot back, pursing her lips, "You can tell her how unbelievable I am—how hard it's to get on well with me—that I never listen to you—start fights out of nothing—" She shook her head, "bla bla bla…"

Twisting his head, Rick gave her a full look this time. "What?" she asked back, "We're trying to building trust between you," she went on, and Rick almost snickered, "If we want her to open up to you, she needs to trust you first. Common experience builds trust."

He shook his head back at her, "You know that's really rich coming from you," he shook his head, "Building trust."

She rolled her eyes, "Please, don't start. We're working now."

He gave her another look, a long one. He guessed he just needed to admit this was also the woman he wanted to be with it. After everything she told him about the hospital after what Noah and Beth had already told, Rick had started to understand that manipulative, scheming nature was a part of her, too. She'd been always depended on her to take care of herself since her childhood, and Rick really needed find a way to break through it, build trust, to make her feel it, not just know it or he had an inkling of that inability would be their downfall, not today, nor tomorrow, but one day.

And, he couldn't let that happen, he just couldn't. He…didn't want to.

Daryl found him as he opened his mouth and asked how, dragging Beth, securely pressed at his sight as the young girl faltered at her steps. Amanda laughed beside him, red lips pulling out with amusement, "Is she…is she drunk?"

"Tipsy—" Daryl said back, "I'm taking her back to house," he told them, "Are you okay?"

Rick nodded, "Yeah. You go. We take care of the rest."

"Carol?"

"It's okay—she's about to leave now," Rick said, nodding at Daryl, "We'll see you in the morning at the cabin."

Daryl nodded, and started for the door too. Amanda sighed next to him, watching them leave, then her eyes caught Jessie at the door, and she grimaced. "Rick—you'd better made my worth while tonight just like you'd promised this morning, because I'm going to fucking hate this!" she seethed between her teeth, glaring at the woman, then turning aside, she looked at him, gripping the glass in her hand tighter, and threw at his chest.

"FUCK YOU, Rick Grimes! FUCK YOU!" she yelled at him as Rick looked at her shock, the punch dripping over his open shirt through her skin—every eyes in the room at them, and Amanda threw the glass just at the wall next to him too, as if throwing a drink at his face wasn't enough, "I'm NOT going to speak to you ever again!"

Then she turned around and stormed off.

Still in shock, despite knowing it had been a ruse, Rick just looked at her as she left the house, banging the door behind her back. Sasha giving him a look, shaking her head as if disgusted walked to the door and left the house, too. Rick turned to the others. "What?" he bit off, "What?"

Michonne gave him a look, too, but Rick just pretended he didn't notice it. Jessie then walked to him as he grabbed a napkin from the table beside them and started wiping his shirt. "She's…she's always like that?" the woman asked, looking at him with pitying eyes.

Was she? Rick somehow found it hard to answer. She'd never thrown a drink at his face before—but somehow Rick had thought the prospect wasn't so out of the question… "She's…she's… lost it sometimes."

Jessie gave him another look, "Jealous?"

Rick shrugged off, and snorted, "What did it give away?" He sighed, shaking his head, "I just—wanted to talk."

Jessie sighed back, too, "It's impossible to talk, and fights start out of nothing, right?" She shook her head, as well, "I know the feeling." Rick gave her a look, and Jessie gestured backside with her head, "This's…this's nothing of yesterday, right?" she asked, "she…she didn't look like happy there."

"It was hard for us on the road—" he said, and stared at her, deciding probing, "I—I—uh-saw your husband, too, last night. He—he didn't sound very happy, either." He gave her another look, "I—I wouldn't—want to cause any trouble…"

Jessie shook her head. "It was hard for us too…here…" she said back, "Pete…he's lost it sometimes, too." She cleared out her throat, "He drinks. He was…drunk. I heard what he told you."

Rick walked on in her in response and fixed his eyes at hers. "Jessie, why did you come yesterday?" he asked openly, leaning further, "I know it wasn't just because you're a good neighbor. What's that you're afraid of?"

Her husband had just walked into the house at the moment too, and Jessie flinched back from his proximity, looking really scared, and shook her head, and started walking away, just before she whispered at him, "You have to be careful. There people here who are afraid you'll disturb their…comforts."

That, Rick, had already started to understand.

After Jessie had left him, Rick had stayed, circling people—looking for Carol. Carl was with Judith, he walked to Carl, and took Judith. "Are you okay, dad?" Carl asked.

Rick nodded, "Yeah. It's nothing."

"You had a fight with Amanda again?"

Rick grunted out. Even Carl knew how much they had been fighting. Carl was…skeptical. He hadn't told him anything, just told he wanted cookies before the party when Rick had told him she was going to cook for them, but Ricks still knew Carl had his own doubts. Rick would barely judge him. "No. Not really," he told his son, "I'm gonna explain tomorrow."

Carl shrugged, looking at the young girl he'd seen here—and Rick smiled. "Go and talk to her," Rick encouraged, catching his son's look.

Carl shook his head, "No. Every time we try to talk, she…bites my head off."

Hopping Judith in his arms, Rick laughed, "We Grimes ain't afraid of ladies' bites, son."

Carl rolled his eyes at him, "Yeah... I can see that, dad," he told Rick, eyeing his wet shirt—pinkish white at the collar. Sighing out, he left Carl, looking for Carol.

He wanted to go now so he could talk to Amanda—because it seemed like they really had to talk… He saw Carol half an hour later, waltzing inside as if she was afraid of stepping in anyone's feet. Carol was almost as good as Amanda with this, plotting and scheming, and thinking what they'd gone through together made things clear in his mind further. It'd been Carol at the end who had saved them at Terminus, had saved Judith, too. Rick walked to the older woman. "Hey, did it?"

Carol nodded.

Rick nodded back. "I'm leaving," he said, and asked, "Can you—mind taking care of Judith for tonight?" He cleared his throat, "I—I need to talk to Amanda."

Carol gave him a knowing look with a smile. "Building trust?"

Rick let out a faint smile, "Yeah."

In answer, Carol took Judith from him in silence, still smiling.

Back at the house, without talking to anyone, went to upstairs and found her packing back and forth in the room. "Oh! You came back! What did she say? What did you talk? Did he—" she stopped, "Where is Judith?" she asked, catching that he had come alone.

"Carol will take care of her tonight," he told her, bringing her to the bed, "We need to talk."

He settled her down on the bed and sat himself down, too. She smirked at him, twisting aside to climb over his lap, "Got a better idea, let's put your tongue on a much better use…"

She leaned down on in him, grabbing her waist, he pushed her backward. "No, if we don't deal with this," he told her, looking at her, "one day you're really going to break a glass, not at the wall but at on me."

She shook her head. "Rick—I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't, Amanda," he said back, "But you need to start doing some trust building for me, too."

She huffed, "I trust you. You know I do."

"You know it—with here—" he said, touching at her temple with his fingers, "not—here—" he lowered his hand and touched her heart, "and you have to…You have to feel it, Amanda… You have to."

She nodded, looking at him, "I don't know how."

He looked at her back, "Do you trust me?"

She laughed at that silently, "Irony isn't your strongest suit, Rick."

"This isn't irony-" he told her, "This's me asking you if you'll give yourself completely to me-trust me enough to be vulnerable—" he continued, his eyes still on hers, "I want you tie your hands and your eyes, Amanda, then we'll have sex."

Her face grimaced. "At your mercy?" she spat, pushing herself back, and stood up, "No. No." she repeated, shaking her head, "You want to play rough, fine, we do it. I like it. But not that crap…I'm not your plaything, Rick."

"Amanda—you're not," he said, standing up, too, "and I don't want to control you… I want to help you…"

"Yeah… I'm seeing how much you want to help," she snickered.

He shook his head. "Amanda, this isn't about sex—" he told her then, "this is about trust, trusting someone enough to be vulnerable." He walked close to her again, "Didn't you do blindfolded walks throughs in the department?" he asked.

She gave him a look. "Yeah… Is this what you want?"

"The woods are too dangerous, we can't go out like that—" he shrugged, "So—"

"So you want to tie me up and fuck me…" she completed for him, "How very convenient."

"It was Carol's idea…" he muttered.

"What?"

Rick shrugged, "Amanda—"

"I hated them… I hated each of them… I could only stomach those stupid things because I had to!"

"I know… that's the whole idea, baby," he held at her waist again, "That's why we can't go rough. You like it. You're not uncomfortable with it. We need to do this," he told her, "And you'll like it…you will not hate it. Just trust me."

She let out a sigh then turned her eyes at him, "You really better make sure of that, Rick," she said, and reached out her hands towards him.

Starting unfastening his belt, Rick nodded at her, "I will," he promised.

He then held her hands and started tying them with his belt.

# # #

She must be mad doing this…or she was really in love, she couldn't decide, but as her hands tied tightly with his belt, and her eyes blinded with the belt of her dress, Amanda felt it didn't matter—she was afraid—she was damn scared, even though she knew he could never hurt her—but it just felt—disturbed—too, vulnerable, and then again, that was the point…giving herself to him…accepting…feeling…

He was kissing her side…she was lying on her side in the darkness—and she felt him across her back—spooning her in his embrace, and it wasn't so bad—she could do this…she could open herself and let him in…she wanted to do it…god she so wanted to do it…

His hand was slowly caressing across his belly as his lips climbed over her neck…and yeah…she could do it…Oh god! she gasped, suddenly feeling his other hand at her back…making circular sweeps at her back entrance…

She tensed, and tried to pull away from his touch, "Rick…" she said, "No… I don't like it."

She never liked it…never… it was too much of a hassle for a girl, and wasn't even that much fun, even disturbing having anyone that much of power over your body, but guys did, she knew. She also knew every girl she'd ever known only tried it because their significant others wanted, yielding to them, and Rick's hand behind her entrance made it only worse, she felt stringing like a strained bow… this was too much, just so fucking too much, and she just about to tell him that too, but he whispered into her ear, "I know—you don't like it, I noticed it. It's okay. We'll try—but I can stop if you don't want me to. But you'll like it, Amanda, just trust me…"

The damn words again… She was just hating it… not truly hating as he kept still caressing her, kissing her lightly whenever he didn't speak— She felt torn in two…and wondered if that was what she was supposed to feel, too… "You won't like it at first," Rick went on truthfully, "It will hurt. Just bite me when it's too much," he said, smiling at her skin, "I can take your bites…they don't scare me…" His hand went further—just above her pelvis, and his finger fluttering… she gasped again, "Then it'll start getting better—I promise… as you relax and open yourself…" his fingers dived into her depths, and she held on his arm, her breath hitching, and despite of her reluctance she was wet, so fucking dripping wet, she was almost ashamed… "If you just give yourself to me… it's only gonna be better, baby…"

Baby… he'd called her baby the second time, and Amanda for a second wondered what she could do to make him call her with that on a regular basis, and gasped at the thought or just because his fingers found her clitoris and started playing with that little bundle of nerves… she didn't know… she didn't fucking care, either… She just… "Rick—" she breathed out in the darkness, but stopped because she didn't damn know what else to say…

"Trust me…" he whispered at her, too, his other hand starting playing with her.

She didn't know if she said anything after that—she just let herself to him—to do whatever he damn pleased with her. She just could lie on her side in his arms and let him to take care of her... She wondered if she was drunk or he'd given her something. She didn't really feel like herself…but Rick would never do that to her… she knew it…she felt it… somewhere in the dizziness, it started hurting—really hurting—god, he was holding her tightly—trying to hush her down as he body started pulling away from him on reflex, and he was still trying to push in—further…deeper...and it just hurt so much… so holding on his arm, she bit him at his upper arm, twisting aside. The motion let him even deeper inside her bottom and she bit even further… And it was insane… she wanted him to stop and she wanted him never stop…never ever again… She didn't damn know what she wanted anymore…

"Rick…" she called out, as he pushed in her…"I—"

"Yes—tell me, baby—" he whispered at her between the grunts.

Tell him…tell him what? She shook her head, trying to raise her tied hands, but they were pinned down somewhere down at the mattress as she was pushed down on it… and she was trapped…but she wasn't afraid... "Rick—" she called out at him… and the words faltered at her lips… "Please…"

"Amanda—" he rasped out at her… "Tell me… you can tell me everything…"

What the hell she wanted to tell him? That she loved him…? Rick already knew it… She was feeling it… it was rushing through her body like a wildfire…burning her, spinning her head…as he drove in her back and forth as his other hand worked on her clitoris… and he was good at his word. She was going to come, she knew, she was riding on a climax, and he was making her beg to him in muffled sounds. He'd brought one hand over her mouth to silence her, but she was still begging… just like she had so many times thought of it… dropping on her knees and cried at him…but for what? She never knew…she just never did…

Snapshots flashed behind her eyes in the darkness… Rick with Carl, holding the young boy at his shoulder, smiling down at him, and then again him this time with Judith…hopping her in his arms, smiling at his little baby…and them together this evening—her caressing the baby's soft cheek—and he was leaning towards for a kiss—the baby between them…and it felt like…felt like they were a family, and how much she fucking wanted it… Then it was there, drilling inside her, and she had no where to run anymore, he got her all tied up between his arms, and she didn't want to run too, she wanted to accept it…she just so wanted it…it was killing her slowly.

She tilted her head away from his hand over lips, "Rick…" she said, breathing deeply, coiled—everything inside…everything inside her flooding…then she let it go… she finally let it go completely and accepted it... "Rick… I want… I want to have your baby," she cried at him, "Please."

# # #

He stopped…the world stopped with him…hearing the words… begging… he looked at the woman between his arms—as he had her completely at all ways down…broken completely her reserves… and what he'd found… His heart was still beating madly—he'd been having the wildest—the most intimidate sex of his life... "Please…" she whispered at him again…

He reached out and yanked off the satin belt he'd used to tie her eyes…and looked at her eyes as she blinked at him…unfocused and heavy—and they looked at each other for a second that felt like a lifetime… and then Rick knew it.

He pulled back from her back, slowing down his pulse, twisted her around on her side to her back on the mattress, and started kissing her. He pushed her tied arms above her head, nestled himself between her legs and he pushed himself in her… and started giving her what she wanted. Because he wanted it, god knew, he so wanted it, too… He wanted her to have his baby.

He was going all way down with it.

A/N: So, it happened... while I was writing, Amanda just did that...begged Rick to have a baby. I was playing with the idea before, making them both feeling it...Amanda swooning every time she sees Rick with Judith, and that's what happens, I guess, when you're having shit times at the end of the world... I'd read once that in the war times the birth rates go up up too, (not only rapes...that's another thing unfortunately) but the desperation of the situation makes the most basic human instincts go crazy; survival and reproduction. Amanda is also about the age too, in early thirties, so it happened like... you fall in love, and it's like... "let's make babies!"

This chapter was fun, Daryl is being jealous, Beth being drunk...and playing with his jealous and all... Oh well, good ol' party times.