Author's Note: Dedicated to MihHale and Katia for their kind reviews! (Had to use Google translate on you Katia and realized I cant tell the difference between Italian and Spanish 😂 Anyway hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Reviews still most appreciated as they light up my life!
#
Some time later, she heard someone saying her name. She fought through the haze of sleep and opened her eyes to see Maggie's head poking through her curtains.
"Professor Snape asked for you to come to his office," she said, looking nervous.
Freddie scoffed.
"Tell him to fuck off," she muttered, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
She woke again a while later. There was no noise just a feeling of being watched. She opened her eyes to see Snape standing at the foot of her bed.
"Bloody hell," she said, sitting up, letting the blanket fall away. "Were you watching me sleep?"
"Don't flatter yourself," he scoffed, then sighed. "I came to...apologize."
"For what?" she muttered.
"For...losing my temper," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed and sighing again.
Freddie scoffed.
"Is this you or Albus telling you to apologize, to keep an eye on me?" she sneered. He looked at her, his face flushed in anger. He shook it off quickly.
"You are mad. You are angry with me, you're angry at yourself, at your friend, whatever. That doesn't mean you get to give up. You still have potions to-"
"I don't care," she said, laying back down and turning away from him. "I quit. I quit as your- your apprentice or whatever. I don't care."
"You do not get to quit," he said sternly. "I am not going to let you. You don't get to waste your talents just because you're upset now. You're – you're too good for that."
Freddie sat up angrily and undid the top button of her pajamas. Snape looked momentarily alarmed, but when she pulled down her top to show him the hand-shaped bruise on her chest his face fell.
"What about that, are you sorry for that?" she demanded.
"Winifred...yes. I did not mean to hurt you. At first – I meant to just push you out of the way of the glass, but I was..."
"Angry," she finished and he nodded. "When I get angry, my magic, it messes things up. Breaks things. I can't help it, I try, but..."
"I know," he said quietly.
He undid a few buttons on his shirt then turned and pulled it down so she could see a dark bruise on his shoulder blade. She gasped softly.
"Did I do that?" she asked, biting her lip.
"When I hit the wall," he said with a nod.
"I'm so sorry," she said, her voice breaking. "I didn't – I've never hurt anyone before when I'm upset. I've broken things but never- never hurt-"
"It's okay," he said, buttoning up his shirt with his nimble fingers. "It was an accident."
She nodded, swallowing heavily.
"So we're even," he said. "Are you ready to put aside this foolishness and get back to work?"
"My potion, I ruined it," she said, rubbing her temples. "All that work, all those ingredients-"
"It happens," he said smoothly. "Potions can be volatile. Remember I told you about my first attempt with the Wolfsbane?"
"This wasn't that and you know it. This was my fault," she said miserably. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this, maybe I'm too volatile, too unstable, maybe I should find a different specialty-"
"Stop," he said forcefully, but not angrily. "You – we will figure this out. I told you I would assist you with nonverbal spells. I believe I can help you with this as well."
"How?" she asked, clutching Hemlock in her lap.
"I...do not know yet, but I will think of something. Now you – get up and get dressed. We have work to do," he said, standing up.
"...Yes sir," she said, giving him a weak smile.
"I will wait for you," he said, stepping outside the curtains surrounding her bed.
Freddie got dressed quickly, putting on a pair of slacks and a white v-neck sweater. She pulled her boots back on and tied the laces. She picked up Hemlock before pulling the curtains aside. Snape was standing by the window, looking out at the lake. The giant squid was laying against the glass, looking at him with one large yellow eye.
"Daniel calls him Inkblot or Inky for short," Freddie said, waving to the creature, clutching Hemlock under one arm.
"Heh," Snape chuckled then looked down at her. His eyes lingered on the bruise on her chest, half-hidden by her shirt. "Are you ready?"
"I suppose."
Freddie waved goodbye to the squid who winked its big eye at her. She followed Snape out of the dormitory, shrinking Hemlock down to hide him in one hand as they walked through the Common Room. People stared, like they always stared, but Freddie kept her head held high, holding her kneazle tight in her left hand.
They stepped out of the Common Room together and Freddie followed Snape down the hall. She was surprised when they stopped outside of the Potions classroom.
"We're not going back to the lab?" she asked as he opened the door.
"Not tonight," he said, motioning her inside.
Freddie stepped in the room and found it was not what she expected. All of the desks had been pushed against the walls. There were no cauldrons but there were half a dozen dummies targets on them, holding fake wands.
"What's this?" she asked, inspecting one of the dummies.
"I'm going to teach you nonverbal spells and this is how I know how to teach. I learned nonverbal spells by dueling. In a duel, using nonverbal spells gives you a one-up on your opponent that- okay, I need you to put the kneazle down, Winifred, I can't take you seriously with that thing in your hand," he said, rubbing his temples, hiding a small smile.
"Sorry," she said with a sheepish grin. She walked over to his desk and placed the now-normal sized kneazle on his desk.
"Now," he said, clearing his throat. "Nonverbal spells during a duel can give you a split-second advantage over your opponent that can be critical – it can be the difference between life and death."
"Am I, uh, likely to find myself in life or death situations?" she asked, quirking her eyebrow. Then she remembered Daniel, remembered waking up covered in blood, and her face fell. "I just meant, um...shouldn't we start smaller? Like levitation charms, like Flitwick did?"
"No," he said. "Who is your teacher here tonight?"
"You are," she said, straightening up. "Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master turned nonverbal Charms Master."
"Shut up," he said with a small smirk. "Now, are you familiar with Stunning Spells?"
"Yes sir."
"Good. Have at it," he said, stepping aside and indicating the dummy.
Freddie pulled out her wand and focused on the practice dummy.
"Stupefy!" she said determinedly. A jet of red light shot from the tip of her wand and hit the dummy square in the chest, knocking it across the room into on the desks.
"You get that this in intended to be a lesson in nonverbal spells, Gray?" he asked, shaking his head slightly.
"Right. Sorry, I was just..."
"Showing off?" he said, smirking.
"Demonstrating," she protested, also smirking.
"Mm. It was impressive. Now, do it again – silently," he said, indicating another dummy.
"Yes sir."
Freddie screwed up her face in concentration and focused on the target.
Stupefy!
She looked at her wand expectantly but nothing happened. She tried again.
Stupefy!
Nothing. She let out a small, frustrated growl and tried again.
Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy!
"You are trying too hard," Snape said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're getting too frustrated and getting frustrated won't help you here, you'll only end up doing something you don't intend to."
"Right," she said, exhaling slowly. "Right."
"You have to remain calm, clear, and focused... What usually helps when you feel your emotions becoming...turbulent? You've dealt with this, your 'outbursts' for years now, I'm assuming you've found some way to cope?"
"Ah. Yes, sir. I, um, well, I recite potion recipes in my head."
"Really?" he asked, looking down at her. "That helps?"
"Sometimes. Not always."
"Well, try it. Calm yourself and focus your mind."
Freddie nodded and he took a step back. She wracked her brain for a recipe and chose the Befuddlement Draught.
Dice three measures of scurvy grass and add to two cups of purified water. Slice four lovage leaves lengthwise and add to the cauldron. Stew for half an hour before adding sneezewort. Stir clockwise once to complete the brew.
Freddie inhaled and exhaled slowly. She did feel calmer. She took another breath and aimed her wand at the dummy.
Stupefy! She thought clearly.
A small beam of red light shot from her wand and hit the dummy. It rattled a bit but didn't fall over.
"Good," Snape said, sounding satisfied.
"Good?" she scoffed. "That was pathetic. If that was a person and not a wooden dummy – it might as well have been a Tickling Charm."
"It was progress, Winifred. It wasn't nothing. Keep practicing," he said, walking towards the door.
"Wait, where are you going?" she asked, lowering her wand.
"I'll be back in a minute. Just...practice."
Freddie watched him leave. She shrugged to herself then turned her attention back to the dummies.
#
Freddie practiced her silent Stunning spell until she was able to blast a dummy across the room like she had the first one. Ecstatic, she quickly did the same to the other four. She looked around for something else to practice with and her eyes fell on Hemlock. She didn't want to shoot stunners at the kneazle so she decided to try something else.
Engorgio! She thought silently, aiming her wand at the stuffed cat.
Hemlock's head grew maybe an inch and he fell off the desk onto the floor. Frowning, Freddie went and picked him up. That hadn't been what she'd expected. She decided to try again but without the silent incantation.
She placed the tip of her wand to the top of his head and just thought 'grow' the way she did when she did the magic wandlessly, projecting her thoughts and feelings towards him. Hemlock began to grow instantly. He got bigger and bigger until his ears touched the ceiling.
"Ha!" Freddie said aloud, smiling triumphantly. Giddy at her success, she climbed up her monster-size plush. With her wand between her teeth she grabbed fistfuls of plush fur and pulled herself up his leg until she could sit on his back.
She was giggling helplessly when the door opened and Snape came in the classroom. He looked momentarily surprised to be met with a mass of gold fur, then he looked up. Freddie waved, grinning like a fool down at him.
"Why am I not surprised?" Snape said aloud.
"Can you imagine if kneazles were really this big?" she asked happily. "Pouncing all over Muggle towns – eating whales for lunch?"
"If kneazles were that large they'd no doubt be hunted to extinction," he replied.
"That's horrible! Don't say that."
"Fine then. Giants could keep them for pets."
"No way! Giants are too rough – Hemlock would claw them to shreds!" she declared.
"Hemlock could not claw anything to shreds. He is a plush toy," Snape pointed out.
"Maybe there'd be giant kneazle reserves, like the dragon reserves in Romania," she said dreamily, leaning forward on Hemlock's giant soft head. She imagined scaling mountains on the back of a large kneazle, pouncing from peak to peak.
"Come down from there. I have something for you," Snape said.
"Or you could come up here," she suggested. "It's really fun!"
"I think not," he said dryly. "Come."
When Freddie didn't budge, Snape pulled out his wand. He flicked his wrist and Freddie grabbed on tightly as Hemlock began to shrink.
"Woah!" she said, then let out an 'oof' as her knees hit the stone floor and she found herself suddenly straddling the small plushie.
"You're no fun," she complained as she got up off the floor, dusted him off, and placed him back on Snape's desk.
"This is a lesson, it's not meant to be fun," he said, putting his wand away. He pulled a small jar from the pocket of his robes and handed it to her.
"What's this?" Freddie asked curiously, unscrewing the lid.
"Bruise cream. For your-" his eyes flicked to her breasts momentarily. "-chest."
"Oh. Thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks grow warm. She pulled her shirt down just a little to apply the paste to the bruise and Snape quickly turned away.
"It's just my chest," she said, faintly amused.
Snape ignored her and set about picking the dummies up and putting them back where they were before.
"You did all these non-verbally?" he asked, still not looking at her. "Before you started playing with your cat?"
"Yes and he's not a cat, he's a kneazle – and I wasn't playing. I was practic8ing," she said earnestly. "I'm 16 years old, I don't play."
"You are still a child," he said, finally turning back to her. "You are young. Embrace it."
"Hmph," she said, putting the jar on the desk. Her chest already felt better and the bruise had faded from purple to yellow.
"Come, show me how you've progressed," he said, indicating a dummy.
"Wait – you need this too. Your shoulder."
"I'm fine," he said dismissively. "You are here to learn."
Freddie crossed her arms and gave him her most stubborn look as she shook her head 'no'. He scoffed, shaking his won head. He looked at the door, then looked back at her.
"Fine," he muttered and began unbuttoning his shirt. He slid his shirt down, revealing the dark bruise across his upper back.
He dipped his fingers in the ointment and reached over his shoulder, but his fingertips only reached the top of the wound. He let out a frustrated sigh.
"I can help?" Freddie said tentatively, approaching him slowly. "Let me help."
He grunted and closed his eyes. Freddie's hands were trembling as she dipped four fingers into the paste. She forced her hands to be steady as she touched him, spreading the ointment across his soft, pale flesh. The bruise was tender and warm to the touch. She felt a surge of guilt.
I did this, she thought sadly. I hurt him. Because I lost my temper...again.
"I can't quite reach all of it," she said softly.
His eyes were still closed but he raised his hands and unbuttoned his shirt further. She saw him wince as he slid one arm from his sleeve so she could see the extent of the bruise. It extended halfway down his back, past his rib cage.
"My god," she whispered, tracing the bruise with her fingertips. "I'm sorry."
"Don't," he said quietly, his voice so low she could barely hear it. "It was an accident."
Freddie nodded and didn't say anything else as she dipped her fingers back into the salve. She continued to tend his wound, trying not to freak out over the fact that she was touching him.
Actually touching him, touching his bare skin, so warm and alive beneath my fingertips and he's not pulling away or yelling at me. I can see his muscles, feel them. His broad shoulders. He's so strong...
She remembered him carrying her through the snow. She'd felt so safe in his arms. Her hand faltered as the memory made her grow warm. She took the moment to dip her fingers in the ointment again.
My heart's beating so loud, it's a wonder he can't hear it, she thought, looking back up at his back. What she saw there gave her pause. The bruise was already fading and beneath the mottled colors of the wound were scars. Old scars, thick, white scar tissue that criss-crossed his back in no real pattern.
Was he beaten? She wondered, tracing one of the lines. Tortured? These scars are old, untreated...he would have been a child...
"Are you finished?" he asked, still not looking at her but sounding uncomfortable.
"Mm-hm," she said, letting her head fall. "It looks a lot better."
He nodded curtly and slid his arm back into his sleeve. Freddie caught a glimpse of his bare chest – pale, muscular, with very little hair. She'd always wondered what he looked like naked. She didn't like mean with excessive body hair, like her uncle who looked like a bear with no shirt on. But Snape, with the sparse hair across his chest, seemed perfect.
"Let's get back to the lesson," he said as he finished buttoning up his shirt. "Show me what you've learned."