Chapter 43 - There Are Consequences To Your Actions

Louis and Legosi sped along, already making their way to the subway station, agreeing not to walk all the way back since it was already pretty late. It didn't take them long to get there and soon they were sitting on a bench as they waited, their bags and items around them. They had gone on quite a spree.

The duo had been relatively silent since the whole ramen shop debacle. Legosi finally looked to Louis. "Louis…"

"I know."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because, you can't just treat people like that. It's sickening."

"Well…" he shuffled his feet. "You let it get to you…"

"You let it get to you, too!" he was fuming. "And why shouldn't it! He was trying to convince you that you were going to murder me!'

"I-I know...but…"

"Legosi, we can't let people like that control our lives," Louis said.

"Then why did you let him make you do that? You could have just walked away…" he shrunk a bit. Was this already the beginning of another fight?

Instead of arguing like the wolf had expected, Louis just sighed. "...You're right. I shouldn't have thrown the stool. I don't know what I did it. My emotions were just overwhelming me."

Legosi put his arm around him. "You scared me...I thought you were actually going to go back there and beat him up…" He didn't even want to know what would have happened if the deer had brought his gun along.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He squeezed. "Let's just go home."

The subway ride was uneventful, thankfully. It was a bit cramped but Louis was too lost in his own head to really be bothered by it. They both stayed separated from one another, not wanting anything else to happen.

Finally, after some walking, they were back home. Once they got in, Louis' arms slumped.

Legosi slipped his shoes off and immediately began to unpack all of his new clothes. Louis did the same, unpacking whatever he got to put away. He was quiet. It was clear there was something between them.

"I'm going to shower." Legosi grabbed his new pajamas and fresh underwear and went into the bathroom.

"Okay." Louis went to the bed and splayed out on his back, looking at the fan spin. Around and around and around and around…

He thought for a while and then took a deep breath, getting up and going to the bathroom, not even caring about what he saw or what Legosi was doing. He went inside, seeing the fog fill the space. "Can we talk?"

Legosi was in the middle of washing his tail. "O-oh? Okay."

The deer shut the door and walked over to the toilet, sitting down on the closed lid.

He didn't look toward the shower. "I'm sorry I acted weird. I hated pretending like we weren't together." His voice echoed and bounced a bit along the walls. "After I realized I was just like Oguma...I felt bad. When that gazelle brought up me being the deer from the paper, I felt worse...And you know what happened when he opened his mouth." He crossed his arms, looking at the tiles on the floor. "I think I'm only truly happy when I'm here with you, alone. Everywhere else, I'm not me." He listened to the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the shower. Knowing Legosi was in it helped a bit.

The canine pondered for a moment. "That makes sense. I had fun still, and it was nice to know there are other animals out there with similar relationships to ours. Maybe..." He scrubbed at his chest.

"Maybe what?" Louis asked.

"Maybe we should go somewhere remote sometime. I'm sure there's some nice walking trails around. Maybe in the spring."

"I don't like having to hide. I've already been doing that all my life. It just makes everything worse. I barely got to hold your hand or anything. I was missing you and you were right fucking there…"

Legosi's chest hurt. "I know. It hurt me too." He wanted to tell Louis how they could move away one day and get away from everyone, but even if they went somewhere else they'd be judged for their relationship. He moved the shower curtain a little, sticking his large paw out of it. "You can hold it now."

Louis saw the movement and got up, reaching out and sliding his small hand into Legosi's. "You did really well holding yourself back. I suppose you're used to suppressing things, though."

"Yeah. I've spent my whole life trying to avoid attention."

"That and you're a carnivore." He used his thumb lift the wet fur up on his hand and then slick it back down.

Legosi withdrew his hand to stop the shower.

The deer wiped the wetness on his pants. "I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"I know. You're right." His hand came out again. "Can you hand me a towel?"

Louis did so.

Legosi dried himself off in the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist before stepping out.

Louis smiled as he saw him, still fully dressed. "Yep. In love with carnivores. Especially canines."

Legosi kissed him on the forehead before trying to usher him out. "I have to change into my pajamas."

Louis complied. "I'll shower and take some time to think."

The wolf changed and then came out, going to sit on the bed. Louis went into the bathroom next.

In addition to cooking supplies, Louis had also ordered a TV at the behest of his mate. Legosi switched it on and flipped over to the nature channel, which was his favorite.

In the bathroom, the deer stripped down, getting into the shower and grabbing the handle. He looked at his warped reflection in the chrome and sighed deeply. His hand pushed slightly, enough to turn it on. Immediately, he felt the uncomfortable freezing water strike his fur from the shower head above.

He hated it.

He thought about what was on his mind the most...How the qualities of and being raised to be a Beastar would never leave him. Neither would the events in his life. He thought about the gazelle and everything he had said and how he had responded to it. But most of all...He thought about his mother. He missed her and he didn't even know her.

He sat there with his palms pressed against the wall as he let the cold water fall down his back and shoulders.

He didn't know if he was bred to be livestock or if his mother had put him there, but he didn't hate whoever she was. There was no way she would give him up by choice. She had to...She had to...

He looked down at his right foot, thinking of the 4 under it. He wondered if everything would be better if he had just stayed in that cell. He always wondered.

Louis turned off the shower after being in there for a long time, dried off, and came out, just wearing pajama pants, as he usually did. He was looking even skinnier than before.

Legosi sat up, holding his arms open to him with a smile.

Louis sat beside him, not in his arms. Their ritual had been disturbed. "It's definitely a rainy day."

Legosi got up and sat behind him, hugging him from behind.

Louis sighed. "Either I'm depressed or my past has affected me beyond repair."

"I'm sorry." Legosi pulled him back, laying down on his back with Louis' back on his chest, as they had done the second night they were home. He avoided the antlers as best as he could. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't know..." He sighed. "I take really cold showers when I feel this way. It feels awful. There's also times where you've been gone and I just...lay there looking at the ceiling. I waste more time than I let on..." He sighed.

Legosi held Louis tighter. He did seem too cold to have just gotten out of the shower… "What about your cooking?"

"That's just filling a gap. More often than not, I'm disappointed."

He rubbed his cheek against Louis'. "We need to find something you like doing."

Louis turned around in his arms. "I do like it...More often than not I just don't have the motivation. Do you think this is like...my mind's response to being just a normal kid now? I didn't feel this way before the whole thing with Oguma," he explained. "Well...Not as much as I do now."

Legosi shrugged. "From the sounds of it, you never got to have a childhood."

"I feel...ashamed from stepping down, but I also know it's important that I did so..." He nuzzled his chest. "You're the only thing that really makes sense now. Funny, considering what I told you before."

"What was that?"

"That I was scared of how random you were. I guess...I'm the random one, now."

Legosi smiled softly, He rubbed Louis' back, attempting to warm him up. "I'll keep up with you."

Louis gave a small smile due to seeing Legosi's. He took a breath. "I'll find a job to keep me busy." He put a hand on his chest. "I really did enjoy being with you today."

Legosi's smile grew wider, teeth showing. "It was really fun!" He continued to rub, this time feeling how pronounced his ribs were. It was worrying. They still hadn't eaten yet.

Louis nuzzled him. "I love you more than you probably think."

"It's hard for me to think any herbivore could love me at all, so yeah. But I know you do." Legosi continued to feel Louis' body. "I love you too, Louis. I love you so much."

The deer smiled and moved his hands down and then back up Legosi's pajama shirt, feeling the post-shower softness of his chest fur.

Legosi pulled back to look Louis in the eye. "Will you try to eat more?" he asked sadly.

Louis blinked. "What?"

Legosi continued to feel him, his hands moving along the bumps. "You're so skinny. I mean, moreso...I don't want you getting sick."

Louis looked to the side. "I've gotten used to eating once a day..."

Legosi's eyes widened in horror. "Louis...that's not good!"

"I only feel sick sometimes!" He argued.

"You wouldn't at all if you ate more. You can't keep it up forever. It'll catch up with you one day!"

"I just start eating and suddenly I don't want any more."

"We should call a doctor then!"

"Why would we need a doctor?!"

"What, is he going to force feed me?"

"There has to be something they can do!"

Louis squeezed his fur. "It can't be that bad if my body got used to it!"

Legosi let out a long, ragged sigh. "It shouldn't have. It's not healthy." He squeezed him close. "I don't want to argue with you. I never do. But I'm so worried about you. I've almost lost you so many times..."

The herbivore looked in his eyes. "I think if I lost you, I wouldn't make it out alive."

Legosi grabbed the sides of his face. "You won't lose me, I promise! But this is about you."

"I won't die if I'm still eating at least a little bit."

"You could die early. You could get sick. So many things could happen."

Louis looked at his scared face. "Calm down..."

"I CAN'T!" Legosi covered his face after his outburst. "...I can't."

Louis' eyes widened. "Is this really about me being sick?"

"I keep remembering you dying in my arms after you were kidnapped...I can't do that again."

Louis looked down. "That was my fault...I shouldn't have been hiding there alone during the Meteor Festival." His dad nailed this into his head. He was convinced if he had been better…

"That wasn't your fault. But this is something you could try and fix. You need to try to eat."

Louis took a deep sigh. "I don't even think about it when I'm alone."

Legosi looked away from him, eyes toward the television. His eyes were wet. "Okay. I'll stop talking about it."

Louis gave him a very long and gentle kiss on the cheek.

He sniffed. A sob came out, but he quickly composed himself. He squeezed Louis tight.

Louis held him back. "Please calm down. I'm okay."

Legosi wiped his eyes. "Okay..." He shoved his feelings down again, like always.

He got in between his legs so he could give a full chest to chest hug to his wolf. Seeing him worry for him made him almost want to cry as well.

Legosi let out a slow breath. "So, what recipe are you working on next?"

His ears perked. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Something...something with vegetables."

"You're only saying that so I can eat it!"

"You still eat sometimes…" he muttered. "And I like vegetables, anyway."

"Maybe something simple like a soup this time. I want to beat that stupid gazelle's ramen and I didn't even taste it."

"I like soup."

"I haven't had much of it. Maybe a few times." He put a hand on Legosi's stomach, rubbing in little circles. "We're so lucky, you know."

"Why's that?"

"We have all this. We have the means to live how we want to...When we're here at least. But even so...The school is doing us a huge favor. You better pass all your classes and graduate."

"I will. I've been doing pretty well."

"I mean, I'll stay here as long as I need to, but eventually, we need to move on."

"I know."

Louis lifted Legosi's shirt and gave him a belly rub. "But whatever happens...I'll stay wherever you are."

Legosi hummed. "I...hahh...I know."

He kept rubbing. "Even if it IS here."

"I'll graduate, don't worry. We'll move someplace nice." Legosi closed his eyes. "It's what I want to do."

Louis' hands were skinny but gentle. "We were committed pretty fast..." He smiled, looking at his belly.

"Y-yeah. Well, we did go through some pretty intense stuff."

"Yeah...You're lucky you don't have a criminal record, or that would be a lot tougher."

"Yeah." He thought back to the stunt they had pulled at the Horns building. They were lucky that Oguma really didn't take any action against them. Legosi hadn't even thought about it at the time, but he could have ruined his entire life there.

Of course, if it was for Louis, it would have been worth it.

"I would save you any chance I got. And I'd definitely bail you out of prison," Louis chuckled.

"I'll do my best to stay out of trouble." Legosi smiled again.

The deer rubbed more roughly to make it feel much better.

"Mmph, ahh." Legosi began to pant. His leg twitched.

Louis started kissing his exposed stomach again and again.

Legosi brought his legs up, which was hard with Louis on top of them, toes curling.

He kept kissing his stomach. "Mm."

The carnivore tried to cross his legs, not wanting his arousal to come into contact with Louis.

Louis kept kissing and then he tried licking him like a dog again.

All Legosi could do was lie there and take whatever Louis dished out. He squirmed and panted under the assault.

The herbivore tapped his legs. "Hey, hold on. Unwrap these for me."

Legosi shook his head, vigorously.

Louis blinked. "Huh?"

"I...I'm a little excited..." he blushed heavily.

"I'm just going to do something real quick."

Legosi swallowed. "D-don't touch it..."

"That's not what I meant."

The wolf uncrossed his legs.

Louis pushed himself back and stood up, then walked and turned off the light. He imagined the room lit up as he made his way right back to where he was.

Legosi put his legs together once again.

Louis couldn't see at all now, but he kissed up his torso, constantly reminding himself of his antlers. His lips found Legosi's and they kissed in the blackness. His mind wandered back to the first time they hugged…

"Mmph." Legosi kissed back. They hadn't had a kiss like this in a while. He rubbed his hands down Louis' body, trying to avoid his ribs the best he could.

Louis made out with his wolf, keeping a hand on his chest. In case he needed to push off quickly. He was about to do something that could be dangerous, but the wolf beat him to it.

Legosi thought back to when he was still pining for his senpai. It was such a strange concept, now. He moved his tongue inside Louis' mouth before the deer could, tasting every bit of him.

Louis slid his tongue against Legosi's, noting how rough felt. But...in all honesty, it made him more excited than he already was, which worried him.