Well, last night's episode hit far too close to home. Still, I can't wait to see what comes next!
Chapter Forty-Three:
Calvin woke up naked in Nick's apartment on Saturday. She was ready to scream.
"Is this part where you call what we did last night a mistake?" Nick asked, when he saw she was awake.
"No, it wasn't," Calvin said. "I have to break up with Reid."
"Are you still moving to DC?" he asked.
"I already sold my place in New York, and put in an advance on a place in DC. I am ready to move on. What about you?"
"I start my job as a DCTV station manager the second week of September," he said.
"How do you feel, being my rebound guy?"' she asked, turning to him.
"I'm just glad, I ran into you on the trail last weekend," he said. "I'm also glad my sister couldn't make to the play last night and you agreed to come."
"Am a I horrible person for wanting to break up with someone recovering from three years of captivity?"
"You're a person who is going after what she wants," Nick said. "You're also doing him justice by not dragging it out. Reid maybe recovering from trauma, but he deserves honesty also."
"I feel like I'm giving up too easily," she said. "This was our first fight."
"Gwen, what is your heart telling you?" he asked.
"That Reid deserves more than what I can give him."
"Then tell him that," he said. "You're a good person, Gwen. Don't ever forget that."
Calvin sighed. Nick made it sound so easy. It wasn't going to be.
…
Calvin found Sasha typing away on her computer. She looked up when Calvin came in.
"It's over with Reid, isn't it?" she said.
"I have that morning after look, don't I?"
"I happen to really like Spencer Reid," she said. "But I sensed he wasn't right for you."
"How so?"
"He needs someone who understands pain. Not that you don't, but you've never felt loss the way he has. Reid also needs someone with a passion for knowledge. You have that, but your passion only scrapes the surface as to what humanity can offer."
"You've only met him once."
"He's the first non-medical professional I ever met who knew about the tuberculosis problem in Cambodia," she said. "You don't know that information for fun, you know it because it adds meaning to your life somehow."
"Would you like to date him?" Calvin asked.
"After he has completed his treatment, maybe," she said.
Calvin sighed.
"I know it doesn't feel like it but, you're doing what's best for Reid now," Sasha said.
"How do you know?" Calvin asked. "He is due to be released in two weeks. What will this do to his progress?"
"He's in a place where he can get the help, he needs to process it," she said. "If you waited until he got out, that might have been a problem."
"Why do I still feel rotten about all of this?" Calvin asked.
"Because breakups are awful, no matter what the intentions," she said. "Just be honest with him and things will work out."
"For someone who admittedly hasn't been in a lot of relationships, you seem to know tons about them."
"In Uganda, I was a peer counselor," she said. "I had to learn how to teach young adults about when to take a relationship to the next level in a safe way."
"I think Reid might like you," Calvin said.
"I think I'll wait a while before I reach out to him."
…
Calvin met with Juno on Tuesday.
"I'm not surprised," Juno said. "There is a difference between loving the idea of a person and loving the actual person. You two seemed to click extraordinarily well. I am glad you were there for him during the past three months so he could know love."
"Thank you for being so understanding," Calvin said.
"This won't be easy on anyone, but it will be beneficial in the long run. Everything is going to be fine Gwen."
"Okay," she said.
"Let's go meet Reid."
They walked to visitor's room. Gwen sat at a table while Ormes came in with Reid. He was in black pants and a red dress shirt.
"Hey," she said as he sat down.
"Hi," he said.
"I see you got your hair cut slightly shorter," she said lightly.
"I like the way it moves," he said. "But that's not why you're here, is it?"
Calvin took a deep breath.
"I can't be the person you need me to be for the relationship to work," she said rapidly. "I want nothing but the best for you and I'm sorry if this impedes your progress."
"Gwen," Reid. "Breathe."
She realized there were tears in her eyes.
"I don't like the idea of breaking your heart," she said. "I loved you so much over the years and now that I have gotten to know you, but I don't know how to express it anymore."
"Gwen," Reid said. "Give me your hands."
She held them out and Reid held on to them tightly.
"You are among the best things to ever happen to me since I escaped. Your touch and support have meant the world to me. I treasured every moment we shared together. This is a season of change. It's going to be okay."
"How are you so calm about all this?" she asked.
"Because I saw it coming and I also saw the stress in your eyes. I didn't want you to live with that. I hope we can be friends in the future."
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
He nodded.
"I'm in the right place to get the help I need. And I might let Iris dig out a couple tubs of ice cream for us to gorge on late into the night at some time."
She smiled.
"That sounds like a plan."
Reid picked up her hands and gently kissed them.
"Part of me will always love you," he said.
"Same here, Spencer," she said.
…
Calvin was sipping her second cup of coffee of the day when Connie came in.
"So, you and Nick?" she said.
Calvin nearly spilled her mug.
"No, the whole place doesn't know yet. But, since you're both relocating to DC, dots are going to be connected."
"Do you know about Saturday?" she asked.
"Nick and I slept together the first week we worked together. We realized we liked each other better as friends. Later on, he had a thing for you, and I discovered I preferred the company of women."
"What do you think of the relationship?" Calvin asked.
"I think you'll figure it out when you leave these walls for good. In the meantime, have fun. The way you two are opposites must make for great sex."
"See you later Connie," Calvin said.
Connie winked and left.
Calvin sighed. Today felt like the ending of something. She'd live with fond memories of Reid for the rest of her life, but it was the end. Calvin hoped for the best for herself and Spencer Reid.