DEVILMOM
In Tokyo, the stars were dimmed out by the bright city lights, yet Chizuru Kagura still did her best to make them out from her office window. She was standing a couple of inches from the floor to ceiling windows with one of her cellphones pressed against her ear and Iori Yagami on the other line.
It was 11pm and she had just finished reading through the final draft for tomorrow's press conference. She was set to give a forty minute speech explaining this quarter's less-than-stellar earnings report. Honestly, it wasn't going to do anything - stocks were going to drop anyways - but her PR consultant had insisted that she be there and waste an hour coddling investors, instead of working.
In any case, Chizuru had just finished up her day, and was looking forward to heading home to have her glass of wine and… some Chopin. Chopin would be nice. She had even had her briefcase sent down to the limousine, and was about to take the elevator down to the lobby, when her "IMPORTANT" phone rang. It was Iori, and unlike Kyo - who constantly liked to bug her for no reason, Iori only called when he was at his wits end and (typically) neck deep in a raging shitstorm.
He seemed to be having lots of emergencies lately. A couple of days ago, he called to report he had nearly been murdered by the Hong Kong Triads, and wanted her to pull some strings for him. The day after, he called to report he had just barely survived being poisoned to death - and needed some serious dialysis. One of Chizuru's most memorable phone calls was several years back when she needed to talk Iori out of cutting his own throat. It was a damn good thing she had picked up then, so to this day, she could boast of having never missed a call from her favorite hellhound.
She wasn't about to break that streak now.
Chizuru quickly collected herself, took a deep breath, and braced for a crisis.
*Click*
"Gammy?"
*Kagura, I need some help.*
"I know. What is it this time. Trouble?"
*Yeah. Well, I'm not sure. You tell me."
That… wasn't normal. Well, normal was bad. 'Normally' their conversations opened with Iori screaming profanities at somebody, before realizing her line had connected - then he would proceed to describe his current situation as quickly and as confusingly as possible. Sometimes there were gunshots and explosions in the background. Often, he was hyperventilating. Usually someone was dying off to the side.
"Is someone dying?"
*Huh? No. Not that kind of trouble. Just listen. I need advice."
Chizuru frowned. Advice? Since when did Iori take anyone's advice? The man wasn't really a planner or tactician. His response to nearly everything was pure instinct. Even if he wanted to employ advice, it would be difficult for him to make use of it - since he didn't do much thinking on the regular.
"Advice, huh. Well, Alright… go on?"
Still, Chizuru cared for him, and as long he didn't call her on the often for these 'non-crises', she would entertain him. She slung her wool overcoat across her shoulders and grabbed her keys before locking her office and starting down the hallway and toward the elevators. Iori chattered in her ear. She yawned as she listened.
*So I hired this kid about a month ago to play guitar for me. He's fucki-... he's great at it and I like his personality - but the kid has gone batshit crazy.*
"Oh? Why? Did you do something?"
*Me? No… well, actually I haven't got a clue. That's not important though. I can deal with crazy. The problem is he's also violent - and he also fu-...messed up a concert. He can punch me in the face as much as he wants as long a-*
Chizuru stopped him.
"He punched you in the face?"
*-as he can pla-... What? Yeah, he punched me. I'm okay though.*
"Is he okay?"
*Who?*
"The… kid. Your employee."
*Howard? Yeah he's fine. Why wouldn't he be? I got attacked, not him.*
"Ah… Good job."
*What?*
"Nothing. Go on."
Iori didn't seem to understand she was praising his terrific show of self restraint in not mauling this Howard. Iori had a pretty explosive temper and he tended to take care of his problems in the crudest way possible. Chizuru couldn't find it in herself to explain this - almost backhanded insult to him, so she left him to decipher it on his own. After a moment, he gave up, and continued narrating.
*Anyways. Earlier today we were performing, and - I don't know what went wrong with him, but he was so fucked up he couldn't play a single note correctly. He was almost a semitone off pitch and it was screwing with everyone on stage! Something was fucking with him hard - since I know how good he normally is. I mean, I've probably listened to him play for hundreds of hours by now, and he has never been this fucki-... this bad. What do you think is happening?*
The elevator dinged and began descending the levels. Chizuru smoothed her hair and eyed herself in the burnished steel before replying. Normally she didn't put up with listening to people's petty issues (and this was a very petty issue), but the fact Iori Yagami was bringing this up made it interesting in itself. She could count the people Iori cared about on one hand - and it was in her best interests to keep tabs on who her hellhound took a liking to.
"Well, this may come as a surprise to you - but I don't know everyone, and I don't know this Howard… But to answer your question. Anything could have happened. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep - or he ate something strange and got food poisoning. He could have found a girlfriend, or gotten in a fight with someone. Did you even ask him? Or are you making conspiracy theories on your own?"
Iori sounded offended. Chizuru rolled her eyes.
*Of course I asked him! I was really civil too, and in the end he got mad and started freaking out and fucking yelling at me! Guess he wasn't yelling that carefully, because he mentioned the Ivory Coast. When I asked him how he knew I went there, he got super scared and kept insisting I told him while drunk.*
"Did you tell him while drunk?"
*No.*
"Are you sure?"
*Chiz!*
"Okay, okay…" She suppressed a chuckle lest he start whining. It seemed there was nobody on earth who could hurt Iori's feelings but her. Well, Kyo could, but he had to do something pretty wild to get a reaction. Chizuru found it amusing that her mere tone of voice had such a dramatic effect on the most callous man on earth. She continued. Her voice was languid.
"Alright Yagami. Well, that was a very interesting story - but you haven't gotten to the point yet. Lots of people try and lie to you - and you don't get torn up over it. Lots of people punch you too. Nothing really seems out of the ordinary to me. What is the issue that you need advice on?"
He paused to think.
*ah- yeah. I'm debating whether to fire him or not. He yells at me. He screwed up a performance. He lied to my face for no fucking reason. I asked him if he was digging dirt on me three times, but he still insisted he wasn't, even though I know he must be. Do you understand what I'm getting at?*
He had started jumbling his words. It seemed he was just saying whatever came to mind, and relying on her to organize his thoughts for him. Chizuru sighed and listened carefully. She was well trained in 'verbal diarrhea'.
"Gammy, I don't understand your conflict. If you want to fire him, then fire him. You're paying him to perform. If he can't do it, then cut him and look for someone else. Simple."
He was hesitant as he spoke.
*Ah… well, I told him if he fucked up again he's done and I'm sending him home. The problem is, he's still in training. This tour is for practice. He's supposed to be improving, but he's not - and he won't say why. I already told him I was gonna get him through this, but… I don't know. Is the brat even worth it? I don't wanna go back on my word - but I gave ultimatum just now, and hell if I'm taking that back.*
He ended that sentence with a note of finality, as if he had just made a point. Obviously he hadn't, but regardless, Chizuru had been his confidant long enough to understand his drabble.
"So, you simply have conflicting feelings about Mr. Howard. One side of you wants to train him up - and the other is annoyed he's dishonest and isn't improving as fast as you'd like. You're deciding which impulse you want to act on."
*Yeah… wait, also the ultimatum.*
"You made two opposing promises as well. One is a promise that he will succeed, and the other is a threat to elimination... I understand~"
She yawned just as the elevator hit the ground floor and the doors slid open. Chizuru stepped out and began marching toward the main doors of her empty building. The clacking of her heels echoed loudly throughout the three storey grand lobby. She huffed and chastised her fellow 'sacred treasure' over the phone.
"Alright Gammy. Ready to listen?"
*uh...Yeah.*
"Firstly, you keep every promise you make. If your promise means nothing - neither do you. Got it?"
She didn't wait for an affirmative.
"Secondly, you're an idiot if you think your little friend won't have his ups and downs during the first week of training. I've trained hundreds of employees, and making mistakes during week one isn't just normal - It's expected. That's not a legitimate reason to chastise someone, let alone fire them. Do you hear me?"
*Really?*
"Yes! Really. So with that out of the way - the remaining issue is the Ivory Coast thing. Yes?"
There was a long moment where Iori didn't speak. It seemed like he was seriously mulling over things. It was obvious from his outlook that he had only ever worked with professionals in their fields. He had never needed to train someone from the ground up. Chizuru suddenly felt the urge to meet this Howard. It took serious mettle to withstand a month of Iori's 'training' - which was likely just being screamed at nonstop. She would try and convince Iori to keep his little student - at least until she met him.
*Guess so. But that's a hell of a problem! I don't understand why anyone would lie to me. I think I've been very forthcoming… I wouldn't lie to myself.*
Forthcoming? Chizuru almost laughed. Kyo always liked to tease Iori for being dumb - but in reality, his strange behavior didn't actually stem from a lack of intelligence. His complete lack of interpersonal skills were rooted in his personality. He didn't care about others enough to have either shame or self awareness, and he possessed exactly zero empathy for anyone. It was no mystery why he might not know how to prepare someone for a highly stressful and highly public position, since he himself would never have felt that pressure firsthand.
Chizuru shook her head, clacked her way out of the building, and took a moment to enjoy the cool evening air. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply before responding. The limousine was a couple of paces ahead. She made her way towards it.
"Gammy, have I ever told you that you're not very perceptive?"
*... yes?*
"Why do you think Mr... Howard lied to you?"
*I told you that I don't know. Does the reason matter?*
"Of course it does. Ah-" He tried to interrupt her. "Don't talk. Listen. Now let me remind you of what you just said. You said you 'can't imagine why Mr. Howard lied about digging up information about you', and 'He got super scared, and insisted you told him classified details while inebriated.' Think for a moment. Put two and two together."
Chizuru could hear the gears turning in his head. Her driver came around and opened the car door for her. She stepped in and, with a thud, was cut off from the noises of the city.
*...He has no reason to be scared of me. That's ridiculous.*
"Is that what you think? Have you spoken to Riot?"
*... Riot didn't hurt him. He just ate some curtains.*
"You ate curtains."
*... yes…*
"..."
Agh, Dammit. Well Fuck, Kagura! What am I supposed to do? I'm just trying to train someone to replace me in this band. I'm not looking to tell my life's story!*
Chizuru closed her eyes and sighed while Iori muttered to himself at the other end of the line. When he finally calmed down, she addressed him with no little exasperation in her voice.
"I know that. But now Mr. Howard isn't lying for no reason. In fact, he has every reason to hide that he's doing research on you. IKARI knows you, and so do the Heavenly Kings. It's possible they let some stray fact slip - and it made your employee raise his defenses. That's my theory."
Iori remained silent. Chizuru continued.
"So now, perhaps you're less inclined to sack someone who feels they need to lie to preserve their own life - from you no less. I'm sure he doesn't want to, but he feels trapped and reacts accordingly. Does this sound plausible?"
*I suppose.*
Chizuru put on her authoritative voice. She was quite proud of her conclusion. Iori was listening keenly.
"So this is how I would go about it. Forget about the classified info. Don't bring it up anymore. Instead focus on your work. Keep your promises, both of them. If he messes up your next performance, fire him… but you sit him down, and make sure he doesn't fail. Go through every line with him - or whatever you musicians do - and please, for the love of god, do it without screaming your head off."
*How is that supposed to help?*
Chizuru was getting tired. Home was a couple of minutes away, and she was eager to finish this conversation and head to bed.
"It'll help, because it shows that you care. All employees need, is to believe the boss cares about them. Trust me… And I know you actually do care because firstly, you haven't killed him, and secondly, you're conflicted over this issue at all. Follow my directions, okay? And bring him to meet me when you come to Japan."
*Oh… alright.*
"What's his full name?"
*Rock Howard*
Chizuru actually startled and kicked her briefcase against the driver's seat. The driver looked back, and she motioned at him to ignore her. She narrowed her eyes as she spoke into the phone.
"Geese's son!?"
*No. Terry adopted him.*
Dull as always.
"Yes, but… alright. Bring him to see me, okay?"
*Sure. And thanks, Kagura.*
"Haah… Good night Gammy."
U guis never seen the devilmom be noice before huh?
She;s an angel
and she think;s her bby is a little bit dumbass