Today was strange. Of course most days here would seem odd to someone else, but Hermione was used to a certain amount of the bizarre in her life and especially lately. In fact, most people were sure that once you were dead you couldn't come back. She knew that wasn't necessarily true. Just yesterday she had a cast a ward on a stranger that was basically her take on total sensory deprivation. None of this was normal. Feeding magic into a piece of gemstone was not a usual thing either but it was the most normal part of this morning and now that she had put in all she could, she was uncertain.
Four of them were here as usual but breakfast had been a tray of pastries and coffee while each attended to some task. Usually they ate together, or some of them did. Dolohov had looked a bit something when she showed up as usual and there had been more silent conversations between the older wizards than most days. Rowle had his eyes on her more than she normally noticed but the feel of it was different. Like he was waiting for something.
Now she had finished her equation, rune stone, and list of Russian and runic translations. A tempus charm showed it was one o'clock and she was hungry. A porch had been added in the last week, not by the door, as was customary, but on the shorter side. It was easier to cast wards where you already had several times and eventually this area would be easily controlled by anyone wanting to change the climate outside. She appreciated it, maybe it hadn't only been for her but she went and worked outside often when she was here.
Feeling Rowle's magic coming she turned and he was walking towards her, hands in his pockets. No sigh or anything so revealing escaped her, but she couldn't help admiring the picture he made. A dark blue sweater was nearly moulded to his torso and one side of his shoulder length hair was tucked behind an ear. There was the slight sheen of a beard that he hadn't bothered to shave this morning. Hermione always enjoyed those days a bit more than she should. When his eyes met hers she ended the mental list of parts of him she wanted to touch and looked her question.
"I think it's confirmed. He does know when you are done. 'Get her. She is done.' Seems like solid evidence." She nodded thoughtfully. Dolohov was out of her range but she didn't actually know his. Or what he might have placed around his property in regards to spying wards. Not literally but wards that measured whatever he decided he wanted to be able to check. He had given her a book on notification wards and she already had a list of questions charmed onto the back of it. Three chapters left too, it was interesting. Not the actual content but the ideas for variations or even original, to her knowledge, ideas.
Their actual official challenge to understand what was happening around them had been going on since about a week after the gala. So a month, they hadn't really pinned down too many things but it was something to do and both enjoyed the added layer in their sometimes difficult days. Both older wizards were demanding. That brought out a thought, now was an okay time to ask. Anything was better than thinking anymore about what he might say and then past that, what it might eventually entail.
"Why do you come here?" That sounded wrong and she saw his face begin to close up. "I didn't mean it that way. Not as a criticism but just curiosity. You're free and you've got enough left in the vaults, so far anyway. Why spend so much time here? You could do anything." She had been looking at him the whole time but now let her face open. Tried to be just Hermione, asking a question she hadn't been able to answer on her own. No judgement. She was here after all. Had to basically sell herself to get here.
"I don't know." That had been reflexive and she waited. Having spent a bit of time with him and watched him with Yaxley, it was a habit. Answer and then think about it and either confirm or amend it.
"You guys know me. 'Bas does, and my sister." It was clear in his eyes that this was the honest answer. She nodded, thinking that over. It made sense, she mused. He had been marked at twenty one and then until his imprisonment had been in the ranks. Not a comfortable place to develop relationships. Partners were the best option and not all of those were solid. Not many of his school peers either. She couldn't think of one, other than McGuinness, in his year and he had been marked closer to the end of the war.
"Was it hard?" This surprised her and she focused on him again. Not sure exactly what he meant. His face was as hers had been. Not combative at all. He wanted to know this. Whatever he meant.
"Not sure exactly what you mean?" She ventured. Not wanting to shut him down but she didn't have enough to guess at his point.
"Living. After. With them." She thought that over and asked the question she thought might clear things up.
"The public you mean? The ones who didn't fight." She was Meeting his eyes dead on now and though he didn't nod she saw the confirmation. With that she let out a small sigh.
"They don't know. They have opinions and want things but they don't know. It was lonely, at the Ministry. We stuck together. Acknowledged each other. The older ones from school and more so the ones like us. The first timers. The older generation seemed to think that life after a war was business as usual. Petty disagreements and political maneuvering. Not so much the ones that knew, but the ones who didn't. Neutrals or people that left." Some of her mixed feelings about this shone through. They shared a look of slight discomfort.
"I don't blame them. I don't. It's just that we didn't leave. Didn't just leave it to others. That's not as bad as the ones who stayed and just hoped for the best. We were kids. Or close enough. Saving the world from a problem fifty years old shouldn't have been on you or me. There's lots you don't know I'm sure. Things I don't know either but I do know enough to be angry, if I let myself. Sometimes Harry and I get drunk together and let ourselves say all the things it wouldn't be wise to. Criticize and blame the people who allowed the situation to develop. Who stood by or watched everything go to shit." Having gotten a bit lost in her thoughts and not wanting to move further into rant territory she closed her mouth. He nodded and for a moment she wasn't sure what it was referencing but then realised he had asked her a question, it had led into that somehow.
"If it's not easy to reintegrate, that's normal." She offered. He just huffed at her. Like she didn't understand.
"You aren't the first one parolled, plus you missed the first year. It was terrible. Took about six months for people to meet your eye in the street even. People who knew each other well would just walk past each other. It was heartbreaking. We had won, so people said. The war was over. Maybe for those who weren't there it was. Technically. The rest of us still have it. Friends never really became close again and most people aren't part of the same circles as before. Harry and Luna are my only original good friends. I get along with my housemates and most of my peers but the ones I was closest with, there is a barrier or something. Even Ron. Harry and I, there are things only we know. Luna and I were broken together, after it was over. No one had seen the same level of evil as we had. In our age group anyway. Those of us who know darkness. That's how Luna explained it to me when I asked her opinion." Speaking of herself was the only way she could think of to reassure him, without platitudes.
He seemed thoughtful and was watching her carefully. Not with heat or seeming to notice her curves but in an equally personal way. Before she could get lost in those thoughts he spoke.
"We better go before he comes out here. Or doesn't which could be worse." She chuckled lightly. That was true.
Entering the cabin was a change from this morning. Lunch was laid out and a glass of red wine was at her bench seat in the corner. Wondering how long she would get to drink such good wine before the stock ran out, she decided to just enjoy it. Reminding herself that she had put the situation in his hands, so to just carry on until she was informed one way or another. It must have been fifty times that she had repeated the thought to herself that day, after about five minutes of frantic overthinking while she stared at her bedroom ceiling when she woke up early this morning.
Her mouth was full of lamb stew and she was listening to Yaxley's story of the day. This one was about Lucius as a first year and she was trying not to laugh at his mimicry of the then eleven year old.
"Malyshka." Her gaze shot to the dark Russian and she nearly choked on the food in her mouth. Avoiding the embarrassment, she took a deep breath and ignored the amusement from the other two men. The look on his face was totally new to her. No tic of muscles clenched that she could see. He looked younger and for a moment she just scanned his face before remembering he had spoken and it had been her name. Before she could begin trying to decipher its tone he spoke again.
"Eto budet pustaya pobeda." Her mind heard the words and translated them quickly. It will be a Hollow Victory. Her mind was about to begin shooting in different directions of thought. Rowle spoke though, and that brought her back to the others there.
"It will be what?" His Russian was not as good and he regularly needed context for it. Dolohov didn't often speak in full sentences either, to them.
"A hollow victory." Hermione replied before Yaxley filled his customary role.
"What won't I get?" This seemed important, more important to him than the actual kidnappings or whatever would follow that.
"Prinyatiye." Acceptance. Admittance. Acknowledgement. Probably things that began with other letters too. She got the point and nodded at him. So he knew that she didn't have any questions about that particular concept in this situation.
"For you?" He didn't understand her question it seemed. Before she could clarify Yaxley answered her.
"Nothing. Maybe a bit of justifiable smugness, if you win. Already he has displeased them." She looked at him and let enough of her feelings show that Yaxley nodded in reply. Dolohov was embarrassed, maybe not emotionally, but within this small circle his behaviour was less than expected.
"I see." It was uncomfortable. She was glad it hadn't been him that said that, or looked it anyway. Feelings of inadequacy were always a problem for her, and she tried not to let them dictate her choices. Do things anyway, even if it wouldn't actually get her what it would someone else who achieved it. She was successful despite her disadvantages, that was how most people viewed it, in her experience. Again there was nothing for it. It was his special club that she was unwelcome in. His circle that perhaps respected him less than before because he had taken a mudblood witch as his apprentice. Even one so skilled and dedicated.
"We will have to duel." For a time her eyes remained down. They would have to duel. Her heart beat began to race and she tried not to shift. This was his answer. So like him to just state something related and have that stand in lieu of some kind of declaration. Silence reigned, for what felt like a long time.
"Well I am prepared for this even if none of you are." Yaxley smiled at her, grinned really and then waved his wand. A gorgeous chocolate mousse appeared before her and she blinked before uncertainly accepting the treat. He had made it once before and she had noticeably enjoyed it.
"Thank you." She took a bite and then a sip of her wine. It was an excellent pairing. What did this mean though. Now that he had decided that it would happen she definitely wanted to know what it was.
Three spoons in she gave up and turned her eyes up toward her mentor. She wouldn't ask but she would wait until someone saw fit to explain the situation she found herself in. It was a good distraction, the dessert. Just enough bite from the dark chocolate. The other two were watching her, she noted and then flicked her gaze to them. What? They were watching her expectantly. Shooting them a dirty look, she was determined not to speak. It was fine. She could wait them out.
When the dessert was finished she spared the pretty dish a mournful look and put her spoon down. Eyes flicking back up to the man she was waiting to give her some indication.
"They have six months to take you. Twelve hours capture is failure. For you or for them." That explained leaving the guy there yesterday.
"Did he end up there for that time?" A nod. He had gone and checked then. Letting herself think that over she relaxed into the wall and pulled her knees to her chest.