Disclaimer: The Hobbit (book/movie-verse) are owned by J.R.R Tolkien and Peter Jackson respectively.

A/N: Hello! Another update! This is a chapter with rather a lot of dialogue but I just wanted an insight into how every is dealing with the grief, without rushing anything. As always, thank you for the new favourites/follows/reviews! You guys make my day and I could never have anticipated this fic doing so well :)

Quick question for ya, we're reaching the end of Part 1 of this series, but I'm wondering if you'd prefer to read the next installment as continued chapter of this fic or a separate fic altogether?

Enjoy!

Khuzdul:

Gehyith = Little Dove

Inùdoy = Son

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Of Memories

Fili knew he was losing as he felt his footing giving way, when the metal of his sword clashed against Dwalin's. The sound bounced between the walls and the young prince stood his ground as he used all his strength to push his opponent. It was fruitless though, Dwalin was not only the stronger dwarf, but also the better swordsman. He disarmed Fili, who lost his balance and fell backwards. As the weight of his body hit the ground, the blonde-haired angrily kicked at a pile of dirt and cursed in Khuzdul. His victory should have been simple and he had been training with Dwalin since he was a dwarfling. Yet, he lay defeated on the ground for the third time since they began training that day. Fili knew why of course, his mind wasn't in it and his focus was elsewhere. Still, he'd thought that if he threw himself into training, it would quiet down the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind.

"Time for a break, I think." Dwalin said as he offered Fili his hand.

Fili grabbed the older dwarf's hand and pulled himself off the growing. He didn't want to take a break. He wanted to keep going until there was no physical or emotional strength in him. At least then, he'd be able to fall asleep without worrying about commotion inside him. Annoyingly, Dwalin wouldn't allow him. For a dwarf known for being more emotionally distant than his own uncle, Dwalin had tried to get Fili to talk about his feelings. When talking didn't work, Dwalin had settled for battle training, but even that wasn't doing much. For days, Fili had managed to keep the anger dormant within him, but it was reaching its boiling point. The worst part of it all, was that he wasn't really sure what he was angry at. He was angry at his uncle for leaving them behind and him with responsibility of ruling. Fili was not prepared to become a king, nor did he want to be one. He knew it was his birthright and his duty if anything should happen to Thorin, but he did not want it.

Balin had of course tried to talk sense into Fili, by saying that Thorin would have wanted him to take the throne. That it was his dying wish to see his nephew live up to his full potential and that he would be a great ruler. Perhaps some of that was true, but Fili knew that Thorin's dying wish was for Maggie to be safe and his son to be born into this world without complications. The safe birth of his baby cousin and the wellbeing of his brother was Fili's priority now, not the kingdom. Fili swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to ensure the child's safety, but he just wished that Maggie would talk to him or as much as look at him.

Ever since Lake Town, when Maggie had revealed that to her and Riley they were all characters in stories, Fili knew something was off. Then, at Ravenhills when Riley had immediately known Kili was in trouble and where he was, Fili worked it out. He hadn't spoken to Riley about it, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that in their version of the story, Thorin was not the only one who died. Fili was convinced that he and Kili were supposed to have died too. That was the only explanation to why Riley knew what would happen. What Fili couldn't understand however, is why he hadn't saved Thorin. Why was he supposed to die and they live? Since their return to Erebor, Riley had avoided both Fili and Kili. On the rare occasion that he caught Riley's eyes, Fili could see the guilt. Fili couldn't quite explain it, but somehow, he knew that whatever choices had led Riley to save Kili and himself, it wasn't one he'd made himself.

"Let's go again." Fili grabbed his sword and swung it. Feeling the weight of the blade in his hand gave him a sense of calm and familiarity.

"Are you sure that's wise, inùdoy?" Dwalin asked as he studied Fili. The older dwarf was worried and knew what Fili was trying to do.

"Again!" Fili's command was sharper this time, and he ignored the alarm clocks inside him as he grasped his sword and aimed it at Dwalin.

This time he would win.

"You know I can see you, right? Dwarves do have night vision."

Kili knew Tauriel had been following him for some time now and mostly, he hadn't acknowledged her presence. Not because it wasn't welcome or because his feelings for her had somehow changed, but because he needed space from her and everything else. It wasn't the first time Kili had experienced grief in his life, but it was the first time it had a direct impact on him. There were not enough words in Khuzdul or in common that could describe how much he missed his uncle and what he would give to see him again. Yet he knew with certainty that no magic in the world could bring him back, not even by someone who called himself the Necromancer. Kili had toyed with the idea, only briefly before he pushed it at the far back of his mind. Balin would have his head for even considering such thoughts. Azog's army had disbanded and the Necromancer had crawled back into the darkness from whence he came. The Necromancer was no more.

So, Kili decided, if he couldn't bring his uncle back to life, then he would at least do his best to understand the kingdom he had died for. All his life, Kili had grown up hearing stories about the great mountain Erebor and the kingdom within its walls. Thorin had always spoken about their homeland with such pride, that ever since he was a young dwarling, Kili had counted down the days until he'd see it for himself. At first, Fili had thought it was a ridiculous goal and that Smaug would never leave the treasure horde. Then one day, when Gandalf had come along and revealed a forgotten old map, Kili had jumped at the chance to join his uncle in their quest. Their mother, Lady Dis, had taken no small amount of convincing but Thorin had been able to persuade her that Kili and his brother were old enough to join him. If Fili was to take the throne, it was his birthright to see the kingdom that would one day be his. When Kili found out that his brother had refused the crown following Thorin's death, he wasn't surprised. They'd both been very close with their uncle and he had raised them as his own sons, but Fili was the older one just like Thorin had also been the eldest.

Kili sighed as he recalled their childhood. The thought of their unborn cousin having to grow up without a father was a painful one. Kili knew all too well what it was like and while he was grateful for how Thorin had raised them and loved them, he wasn't their father. Even so, Kili swore to himself that he would honor his uncle by being there for Maggie and the baby in any way he could. Kili just wished that Maggie would at least speak with them. They all felt the loss of Thorin and were dealing with grief in different ways, but Kili had seen the look of complete emptiness in Maggie's eyes when they'd returned to Erebor after the battle and a part of him worried for the shape her sorrow would take.

"You should return to the upper levels." Tauriel said. "I worry what will happen if you stray too far."

"Do you fear the dark, my lady?" Kili responded, her reluctance surprised him, especially for an elf of Mirkwood.

"I fear what hides within it."

Even in the shadows, Kili could see Tauriel clearly. Her gaze studied the path Kili had been following. It was uncertain how many levels Erebor consisted of, but just like in Moria, Tauriel knew it was unwise to let one's curiosity get the better of you. Everyone knew the story of Glorfindel's battle with the Balrog and there was no telling what other creatures of darkness dwelled within the shadows.

"What about you?" Tauriel asked "What do you fear? It is not the darkness."

Kili watched as Tauriel took careful steps towards him. He wanted to tell her, but how could she possibly understand? She was an elf and elves didn't understand death in the way mortals did. How could she understand his pain and even if she could, Kili didn't want her to feel his suffering. Yet, when Tauriel gently took his hand, he felt a rush through his body and he knew that in that moment, they were connected. A minute or so later, Tauriel let go of Kili's hand and as he looked up at her, he saw tears streaming down her face. Embarrassed, Kili turned away from her and clenched his fest as he faced the wall. He would not show himself weak in front of her but when felt Tauriel's hand on his shoulder, Kili couldn't hold it his sadness anymore.

As far as hangovers were concerned, Riley put this one in the top five. Even after Tauriel's outburst the previous night, he'd stayed in the kitchens while Balin had been the more sensitive of the two. Dwarves, it seemed, were able to sober up quicker and sometimes almost at will. Disappointingly, Riley wasn't able to hold his drink as well as he had once used to and maybe that was for the better. The world around him was blurry at first but as he rubbed his eyes and squinted a few times, he saw the outline of his sister sitting on the edge of the bed.

"...Maggie?" Riley couldn't believe his eyes.

Maggie sat next to him on the bed. It was the first time he had seen his sister out of her room in days and he wondered what had brought upon this change. Riley was glad to see her, but as he looked at her, he could also see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Are you sober?" she asked and passed him a mug of tea.

"In a manner of speaking…" Riley felt his head pounding and would give anything for some paracetamol to ease the pain.

"I thought we were past this, Ri."

Maggie's voice was calm, which was worse than when she was angry or disappointed. Riley knew why, of course, but he'd thought maybe this one time he'd get away with it.

"Give me a break." he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "It's not like it's been easy."

"But drinking? Again?" Maggie asked "We've been through this before, you're better than this."

"I'm not falling into old habits, if that's what you're worried about."

"Of course that's what I'm worried about!" Maggie told him, "This is exactly like when dad died."

Riley didn't need the reminder, he recalled their dad's death with extreme clarity. After all, he had been there during his collapse and ambulance ride to the hospital emergency room. By the time Maggie and their mum arrived, Alan Spencer was already dead. There was nothing the doctors could have done to help him. The sickness had been there for some time, they guessed, but their dad was a man of pride like his children and had kept it to himself. Riley had often suspected something was wrong, he'd been able to tell in the small and subtle changes during the few months leading up to the collapse. Sometimes, their dad would forget words or where he'd put his car keys. His university students would email about exam dates he'd forgotten to set for his European Literature class. Even though the signs were there, Riley had still pushed it at the back of his mind, thinking it was stress.

Back then, Riley had dealt with the guilt and grief by delving into a world of illicit substances. For the better part of a year, he'd become a well known patron of the back alleys and side streets of their hometown. Until an overdose nearly killed him and he'd snapped out of it, after seeing how it nearly destroyed his mum and his sister. Since then, Riley had stayed sober. Alcohol wasn't his problem, it was the other drug and having one or two drinks was never usually a problem.

Thorin's death was nothing like the death of his father. In fact, Riley had no idea of how to process his thoughts and feeling or coming to terms with the choices he had made that were responsible for his sister's suffering. He could have told her so many times, warned Maggie that Thorin was meant to die and that it was unwise of her to get swept up in this romance. But who was he to take away a happiness that Riley hadn't seen in his sister for a long time. It wasn't fair and perhaps that was part of his challenge here, dealing with difficult decisions nobody else could help him with.

"Except it's not." Riley said "This is nothing like when dad died. You and I both know that. We could have changed so much if only they would have allowed us. I just don't understand the purpose of it. We set out to help the Company reclaim Erebor and save the line of Durin, which we did but at what cost, Maggie? What good did we do? You've lost the father of your child and I knew he had to die. I knew I chose not to tell you because I thought somehow it was the better choice to make. Fili and Kili must hate me, Dwalin is disappointed and Bilbo is angry with me. I just...I don't.."

Finally, Riley's voice failed him and for the second time since their arrival in Middle-Earth, he allowed himself to cry into the arms of his sister. It was rare that Maggie saw her brother cry, he was always stoic and proud just like their father. She wondered how long he'd kept all of it inside.

"It's okay, Riley." She whispered "No one hates you. Everyone is just finding their own way to cope. It's not your fault."

"I feel like I let everyone down." Riley said between his tears. "I tried to be some kind of hero like dad, but I'm not

"You haven't let anyone down." came Bilbo's voice from the doorway. "And I'm not angry with you. I was just scared and worried."

Maggie got off the bed, figuring it was her queue to leave. In the midst of her own grief, she'd forgotten about everyone else and how they were doing.

No matter how trying times were, food was always something that could bring people together. That had always been Bombur's belief. Those who didn't know him just thought he liked eating food, which was no lie, but above all he loved seeing the smile on people's faces when everyone gathered around a table, enjoying a home cooked meal. The last time Bombur recalled such an occasion had been in Bilbo's hobbit hole, all those months ago in the Shire. Maggie and Riley hadn't joined them by then but still, they were part of their family. So, Bombur felt it was time that the whole family got together. That's why, on that particular Wednesday evening, Bombur had enlisted Bifur and Bofur to help in the kitchen, while Dori, Ori and Nori set the table in the Great Hall. Gloin and Dwalin were gathering wood to light the fires and Balin was the messenger, announcing the evening's plans.

Thorin had always loved Bombur's cooking. No matter how moody or grumpy he was, it always cheered him up. They were very different dwarves but this was the one thing that connected them. Bombur remember the first time he'd realised Thorin was in love with Maggie, over one of their many campfire nights. It was subtle, but Bombur noticed the way Thorin's glance always seemed to find its way to Maggie. The other didn't know it, but Bombur was the first one Thorin had told when he realised that Maggie was his One. The ginger dwarf had been sworn to silence and he'd kept his word.

More than a leader, Thorin had always been a good friend. Bombur didn't mind the way the others teased him sometimes because he knew there was no malice in it, but Thorin had never judged him. Neither had Maggie or Riley, for that matter and that's why he accepted them so easily. He knew they had good intent and if Gandalf and Thorin trusted them, then that was good enough for him. Bombur sighed as he stirred a pot of stew, while also turning the meat in the stone oven. He missed Thorin and standing in the kitchens made him think back on their time in the Blue Mountains. Since the death of his brother, Frerin at the battle of Azanulbizar, Thorin and Bombur had become closer friends. Thorin often confided his thoughts and feelings in Bombur when nobody else would understand him or listen to him. A leader was supposed to be strong, stoic and never show weakness, they'd told him.

"Hey Bombur, where do we keep the wine?" Bofur asked from the doorway

"Second cellar below the library." Bombur replied

He quickly dried away a tear and poured a small dash of vinegar into the stew, then gave it another stir. Another teardrop fell into the pot and soon, Bombur found himself silently crying over the kitchen stove. Not long after, he felt Bofur's hand on his arm and he turned around to his friend.

"It's alright, Bombur." Bofur said calmly. "I miss him too. He'd have liked this, getting everyone together. It was always his favourite time. Chin up, can't have a stew all salty from your tears can we?"

Bombur nodded, dried away his tears and pulled himself together. He'd make this meal the best one he'd ever cooked.

"Is this really necessary, Master Oin? I feel fine."

"Have patience, Gehyith." said the healer.

Oin knew of course, that patience was not Maggie's finest trait, even though she had many. Since the discovery of her pregnancy, this was the first time he was able to properly examine her in the infirmary, with all the necessary tools which he'd lacked on the road. It was also the first time Maggie had allowed him to be in her presence for more than five minutes While she seemed to be fine, Oin wanted to make sure and so far, everything seemed to be in order. The baby's heartbeat steady if sometimes a bit faint and difficult to hear. For being so early in the pregnancy cycle, the unborn child was already in sync with his mother and Maggie didn't really realise it herself. Still, even though everything appeared to be fine now, Oin knew that that there was a high chance that this pregnancy might come with complications they were unprepared for. Already, whispers and rumours of a half-human/half-human heir to the throne had begun to spread and not everyone was pleased with the news. While he and the rest of the Company had accepted Maggie as one of their own, there was no telling how the other dwarves would react. Dain was polite and respectful only because Maggie carried Thorin's son and he loved his cousin, but Oin was not certain that Dain would willingly give up the throne for a child who would also be born out of wedlock. It was against all dwarrow customs, which had been set in stone for thousands of years.

If Fili decided to take the throne, instead of renouncing his royal title, at least then he would ensure that not only the line of Durin continued, but that Thorin's bloodline had a chance to claim their birthright. It would be a shame, Oin thought, if they'd come all this way and through all the obstacles to give it all up. Somehow, Oin knew that Fili would eventually come around. He just needed time to process the grief and deal with the turmoil that was no doubt inside him. Oin knew that that Fili and Thorin had often spoken about the kingdom and that one day it would be his when Thorin died. It was something Fili had looked forward to and took pride in Right now though, both Fili and Kili were hurting and it would take time before they were both ready to move past this pain. Oin hoped that in the meanwhile, Dain would do the right thing when the time came and not be consumed by power.

"There," Oin put away his tools and passed Maggie a jug of water. "All done."

"Is everything...I mean..is he okay?" Maggie asked

"Yes." Oin nodded. "You need to keep your strength up though, I'll be making sure you have regular meals. He won't grow otherwise."

"Yes, dad." Maggie sassed, but only in kindness.

Oin watched as Maggie placed a hand on her stomach and found himself smiling. He recalled the first time Kili had asked if she had children and Riley had burst into a fit of giggles because the idea seemed to him unlikely. Maggie herself, Oin knew, was someone who had been unsure of motherhood and probably even now. After the initial shock of the pregnancy had eased, she seemed to have accepted it easily enough. Oin was lucky, he remembered his childhood with both parents and it had been a loving one. He could not imagine life as a single parent or a child having to grow up without their father.

"I hear Bombur's cooking up quite the feast." came Fili's voice from the doorway.

"Would be a shame to miss it." Kili added

Oin breathed a sigh of relief and then when Kili's voice also chimed in, a smile spread on the older dwarf's face. The healer gathered up his belongings and as he left the three of them alone together, he had a feeling that things would get better from here on end.

When Riley knocked on the door to Elrond's makeshift study, he felt as though the Elf-Lord expected his company. He wasn't surprised to find Bard and even Legolas already in the study. Dain must be loving this, he thought, but also knew that when it came to matters of the Company, Dain had very little say in things. It wasn't for lack of respect but because it simply didn't concern him. Legolas had been absent for a few days, on some errand by request of Gandalf. The wizard, of course, was nowhere to be seen but Riley had long since learned that there was no telling when Gandalf might or might not appear. He did hope the would show up for Thorin's burial, which he was sure he would. Perhaps, not being present was Gandalf's own way of dealing with the grief.

"Master Riley," Elrond said, "I'm glad to see you on your feet and in better spirits. Come and join us."

"Am I late for something?" Riley asked

Riley felt almost a bit intimidated and he couldn't figure out why. Something about the presence of elves seemed to have that effect on him, even if those elves were friends. To be honest, Riley was surprised that Elrond had stayed in Erebor for so long. He didn't seem like the kind of elf that particularly liked being underground for too long. It was strange in some ways, Riley thought, that somehow he and Maggie had found their own family when they were so far away from their family in their world and it warmed his heart that this place could feel like home. The thought of their actual home made his heart sink and Riley wondered if they would ever see it again. Somehow, he'd been under the impression that the Valar would send them home once the quest was over but it was becoming increasingly obvious that that wasn't the case. Things had changed and Riley knew that they still had a bigger part to play, even though he didn't fully understand it yet. He had so many questions unanswered and things that he needed to make sense of. They all began and ended with the same person; their father. Alan Spencer or as he was known here; Lord Amandil. Who was he really? Why was his fate so entwined with the fate of this world? Why was the responsibility passed onto Riley and Maggie?

"We were discussing what happens after Thorin's burial." Bard said "With you and especially with Maggie."

Riley didn't really like talking about his sister behind her back, but ont his ocassion, he figured it was okay. In fact, he'd been considering their future to so it was an opportune moment to voice his thoughts and concerns. The truth was, he knew they couldn't stay in Erebor and Riley wasn't sure he wanted to. As much as he loved the Company and knew they only had him and Maggie's best interest at heart, Erebor wasn't a good place for her.

"Maggie should be in Rivendell." Riley said "It will be safer for her there and better for the pregnancy. I don't think this mountain will help her, there are already too many memories and too much darkness. Especially with winter around the corner. "

"Do you think she'll want to leave?" Bard asked, "Her last memories of Thorin was in this place and parting with them will be difficult for her."

"Yeah, it will. But I think, if we talk to her and explain our reasoning, she might understand."

"What about you, Master Riley?" Elrond asked "You are unusre about your own path, isn't that so?"

Riley sometimes hated how intuitive elves were, but naturally, Elrond was right. He was torn and didn't really know where to proceed.

"The more I think about it, the more I feel like there's something missing." Riley began. "I know the Valar sent us here to help the dwarves with their quest and we've done that, but I can't help but feel like there's more to it than that. I know we've changed things by being here and perhaps some of that was unintentional. I just have this itching feeling that I'm missing something and I can't shake it."

Riley watched as Lord Elrond paced back and forth in the room, with his hands behind his back. Finally, after a while, the Lord of Rivendell turned to Riley and spoke,

"There are those who can give you the answers which you seek." he said

Suddenly, Riley knew exactly what Lord Elrond meant and he felt a bit silly for not realising it sooner. He'd forgotten that descendants of Numenor still lived in Middle-Earth and they were Aragorn's family just as much as they were Riley and Maggie's. All this time, he'd been so focused on the quest at hand that he had forgotten about the old Numenoreans who had taken on a different name since their departure from their homeland.

"You think I should go to Dunedain?" Riley asked

"They are your kin." Elrond replied. "They will be able to help you."

Riley sighed and sank into a chair.. "I don't like the idea of leaving Maggie now that she needs me then most, but somehow I also know in my heart that I need to. For both of us."

He paused and then continued. "Although, I don't know anything about this world, beyond what I've read in pages of books I thought were fiction. I have no idea how to get to Dunedain"

"I do." Legolas announced, up until that moment he had been silent. "I know the way to Dunedain, but it will not be an easy journey and I fear since the appearance of the Necromancer, other dangers will have crawled out from the shadows."

"I will come with you." Bard said "I am not unfamiliar with those paths and I think there will be safety in numbers. The rangers of the north don't take kindly to strangers, especially not ones that are so clearly out of place. No offence, Master Riley."

"None taken, mate. I get, I stick out like a sore thumb."

"Pardon me, my lords.."

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Riley turned to see Balin in the doorway. At first, Riley thought the expression on his was perhaps because he felt awkward for interrupting their meeting. Riley knew Balin well enough to tell when bad news was near.

"What's the matter, Balin?" Riley asked "Has Bombur finally poisoned everyone with his cooking?"

The joke had been an attempt to lighten the mood, but it did nothing good for what followed next.

"No, lad. It is much worse." Balin said "Thorin's sister...Lady Dis has arrived."

To be continued….

Not a super interesting chapter but I wanted to explore how the other dwarves deal with the grief. What did you think?

And we get to meet Lady Dis - how will she react to Maggie and Riley? What will Maggie think about Riley leaving for Dunedain?

Two more chapters to go before we wrap up Part 1 of this series. Please leave comment below!