I decided to double update mostly because I am pretty excited about the set of events that are to come, and honestly I have had this chapter in particular sitting around completed for a while, though it has gone through some modifications during that time. Though, the modifications between this version and the last completed version is literally a couple of sentences to account for some stuff last chapter that I hadn't planned back then.
Speaking of which, quick diversion to thank RioA for reading through that complete-minus-the-couple-sentences version of this chapter to give me reassurance that it all made sense! I really appreciate it, Riibean!
Anyway, these two chapters are quite the ride, so buckle up and enjoy!
To Mizuki's surprise, the advisors stood up when she arrived in Hinata's office, as did Hinata and Naegi.
"I apologise for the convenience, but we will be taking today's review in a more private area, if that suits you." Hinata said.
"It does, but why do you need to?"
The meetings for reviewing her financial arrangements with Hope's Peak usually took place in Hinata's office, and though a student could theoretically come in at any time and spot the advisors-who were theoretically meant to be as behind the scenes as possible-it was easy enough to get around that. It was very, very unusual to be taken back into the parts of the school that not even the students knew about. Well, that not even MOST of the students know of, Mizuki reflected, considering the map they had started to create. But still…
"We have sensitive matters to discuss, Teranaga-san, ones that wouldn't be suitable for discussion in public view."
Naegi looked somewhat hesitant as he said this, almost nervous. Hinata, too, seemed a little jumpy. But the advisors, as always, were implacable. Just standing there. I wonder, she thought, if this is the same place Sawada-san was taken to after the riots. More than likely, it is. And despite all the implications of that, or maybe because of them, Mizuki simply nodded.
"Very well then."
Without a word, the advisors got up and led the way. Mizuki expected the principals to follow them, but instead, they gestured for her to go ahead. She gave them a look, curious. Naegi gave a sheepish smile, while Hinata did not react. Though, now she was looking, he did seem tenser than usual. Mizuki chose to not dwell upon that, and instead walked on, wondering what could be going on for this scenario to be happening. As she did, she mentally scanned her surroundings, wondering what details would be of use on their map, if any were at all.
Eventually, they entered the relevant room. Seven chairs were arranged around the table-four along one long side, two along the shorter side, and a single one opposite the four. Mizuki knew which one she was meant to sit at, and so she took it without waiting for it to be indicated. Sure enough, the advisors sat themselves in the four seats opposite her, while Naegi and Hinata took the remaining two.
But at first, they did not talk of anything new. Instead, the meeting was exactly what she had assumed it would be upon arriving that morning-simply a review of the various projects she was overseeing-though, interestingly, the separation proposals were not one of them. She did wind up getting a lecture from one of the advisors about her stance over the graveyard, but Naegi and Hinata (though more the former than the latter, surprisingly) stood up for her, and the advisor in question had seemed to grudgingly come around. But all the same, the meeting was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, it seemed a little too ordinary.
"Excuse me, but what is happening? I was under the impression that there were sensitive issues that needed discussing, but I don't see what sensitive information is here." Mizuki burst out suddenly.
"Financial matters are always sensitive, dear." One of the advisors said, looking at her pityingly.
"Well, that is true, but we have always managed just fine in our offices," Naegi said apologetically, exchanging a worried look with Hinata, who returned it as he cleared his throat.
"Yes, indeed." Hinata continued. "I think now would be a good time to talk about that matter. After all, I think we've covered all the other important things."
"Yes, yes." Another advisor said. "Then, in that case…."
The advisor turned to the one next to him.
"Could you please take the laptop out, as well as the paper copy of the files for Teranaga-san?"
"Of course."
The advisor in question lifted up the briefcase he had been carrying, and set it on the table. He punched in the code on the lock, then lifted up the lid, and first took out a sheaf of papers, and then a small silver laptop, which he opened, and spent a few moments tapping at, before turning it around to reveal a document loaded on the screen. It appeared to run to 50 pages or so, and the current page showing was simply the title:
THE IZURU KAMUKURA PROJECT: CENTENARY EDITION
"As in, the founder of Hope's Peak." Mizuki stated, not entirely sure whether she was stating, or asking.
"Yes, indeed." The advisor who had taken out the laptop said. "I am sure I do not need to tell you what the great Izuru Kamukura's aims were when opening this school, exactly 100 years ago."
Cultivating personal talent for the sake of hope, both in and out of the school. In fact, to benefit the whole world. Even if Mizuki had not known that particularly, with the number of times that phrase had been repeated this year to underline why the centenary was such a big deal, there was no way she wouldn't have. But she sensed they weren't exactly looking for an answer, so she just waited.
"Naturally, as well as fostering those talents, over the years we have been working hard to research these talents, and how exactly they have come into being. Principal Kirigiri's clever proposal of the Lucky Student lottery has also provided some interesting insights into the phenomenon of luck, and how that can influence things too." Another advisor added.
"One of our longest standing projects has been how to best harness these talents into their greatest form, a true SHSL Hope, if you like."
"And…this is what this is about? This, Izuru Kamukura Project?" Mizuki asked.
She looked to the principals as she asked this. Again, the worried look was exchanged, but in truth, it seemed like only Naegi had any real fear. Hinata just looked resigned.
"Yes, it is." Hinata answered, almost numbly.
I have a bad feeling about this.
"And what, exactly, does this project involve?" she asked, hoping she was calm. Needing to be calm.
"Well, we have given you a copy-a strictly confidential one, you understand-for your own perusal. However, the long and short of it is that we have found a way to potentially give a single person all the talents that have ever passed through Hope's Peak Academy."
"I…I'm sorry?"
"As you will see, we have not yet found a candidate, but they will be one of the Reserve Course students, naturally. As Talentless individuals, they are the perfect blank slate."
This…I have to be misunderstanding somehow, right? I have to be. But…Each and every single one of them were looking serious.
"You are talking about human experimentation?"
"Why, of course." An advisor stated.
"You're going to experiment on one of your own students?! I am fairly sure that is an ethical breach."
"Oh, do not worry dear, when the right candidate is found, they will be given a detailed briefing and a consent form to sign. Their parents will also need to be on board, but given the opportunity to become nothing less than the SHSL Hope, we do not anticipate this to be a problem." Another advisor said.
"And what happens when they become the SHSL Hope?" Mizuki asked. "What are the side effects?"
"Well…the student will no longer retain their current identity, once they are the SHSL Hope. We cannot have anything interfere with the Talent uptake process. But the details are all in there, Teranaga-san. As my colleague said before, do have a close read in your own time. For now, we need to discuss the financial arrangements for it."
"You want me to fund your experiment?" Mizuki gasped. "You want my name to be behind…behind this?"
"Well, of course. It is for the sake of making a Talentless person the most Talented ever, an opportunity that is more than any Reserve Course student could ever hope for. Are you not about the supporting of Reserve Course students?"
"Well, I think we must have had some sort of miscommunication along the way, because at no point have I ever endorsed something…something like this." Mizuki said stiffly. "I do not want any of my funding to go towards this."
"Oh? This is disappointing."
This earned a flurry of nods from the other advisors, who then looked at Mizuki coldly. She stiffened. I need to be careful. It was all very well fighting, but she could not let something happen to her here, with nobody aware of it. Not if she was going to actually make a difference. What can I say? She looked to the principals again, but she didn't really know why. She knew that it was pointless for her to. They were not going to help her here. Slowly, she picked up the paper copy of the report, and placed it on her lap, holding onto it tightly.
"If you wish me to put funds into other areas of the school so you can divert money from there into this-though frankly, I do not think this is going to benefit the school or the wider world at all-then I can do that. But under no circumstances do I want my name attached to this, at all. "
"And what will you do for us in return, if we agree to this?"
"I have already said that I will help with other funding. And though we have very different ways of going about it, we do all just want Hope's Peak to flourish, so you have my word on that."
"Teranaga-san, I think you know what we are implying."
The words came out knife-sharp, but smooth. Mizuki gulped, did not respond immediately. She had to be calm. She had to make sure this ended as well as she could. If that meant lying as well as these people most likely were, then…
"It will not benefit the Teranaga Foundation if my name is attached to what you have to admit will come across as a controversial project to others. Even in the context of whistleblowing. You will have my silence, if I can be given your guarantee that what I have asked for will be done. "
The advisors studied her, and one tapped his chin absently, in deep thought. Eventually, he nodded.
"Very well. But do not think just because of your unique position you can get away with a breach."
"I understand."
"Principals, could you escort her back out?" the same advisor asked, as all four got up.
"Of course." Naegi said quietly.
They stood there as the four advisors left the room via a different door, before they turned back to go to Naegi' office. Mizuki didn't say a word until they got there, not trusting herself to completely explode.
"Principal Naegi, Principal Hinata, why?"
"Teranaga-san, let's sit down and tal-"
"I don't need to sit down. I just need to know-how? How can you just sit there and go along with something like this?" Mizuki asked. "As principals, how?"
"It is a good proj-" Naegi started.
"You can't truly believe that."
"It is better than using children." Hinata cut in.
"That's hardly an excuse-" Mizuki snapped, even as she wondered, where did that come from?.
"Do not speak to us like that!"
"Hinata-kun!"
Naegi's exclamation stopped them all in their tracks. Having geared up for an argument, Mizuki found herself trembling, restless, her limbs tightly wound. She took a deep breath, and then another. Hinata closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead for a moment, then looked towards Naegi.
"You know why it has to be this way."
"I do. But don't get angry at Teranaga-san. It isn't her fault. And really, aren't we on her side?"
"Yes, but-"
"It's okay, I'll take it from here. That's what friends are for, after all."
Naegi turned back to Mizuki with a smile that would have looked like his usual ones if not for the fact that his gaze were strained.
"The best we can offer you is an assurance that your money won't be used for this. We'll make it work, somehow. And you will need to be happy with that."
Mizuki pursed her lips-she could not be happy with that, at all. How can you think this is more important than, I don't know, the very real possibility that students will be protesting that the two parts of the school become separate? But she would have to be accepting of it. And so, she nodded.
"Very well then."
"And naturally, confidentiality-"
"You do not need to say it. I got the message the first time." Mizuki said stiffly. "Is that all that needs to be discussed?"
"For now, yes." Naegi said. "Off you go, then."
Mizuki couldn't get out of there fast enough. Clutching the papers tightly to herself, she strode all the way to her classroom, where she knew she had a folder she could store them in. Then, I'll need to be extra careful about carrying them around….They could have just sent a message to her, now she was thinking about it. If they were so concerned about secrecy, then this wasn't exactly the way to go about things.
But of course, that wasn't the issue here. The issue was….god, human experimentation. Human experimentation. Mizuki wanted to scream.
When she got to class she quickly found the folder in her desk and slipped the papers into it, before putting the folder into her bag. Then, keeping her bag on her lap, she took her phone out, and opened up 'Shh!'. Clicking onto the group chat, she allowed herself to be distracted by the silliness of some of the previous messages:
Sho: THE PLACE?!
Sho: WHERE IS THE PLACE?!
Shino: The place
Shino: The place is the place
Moko(michi): This is an experience.
Mihoko: And it's in a place
Shino: Or is it?
There were other moments in the chat that frankly made even less sense, and each time never failed to get some sort of smile out of her. But still, her hands couldn't stop trembling as she typed and tapped and hesitated. But finally, she had a simple message, and she sent it:
Mizuki Teranaga: Something urgent has come up. We all need to meet as soon as possible. My house, seven pm.
Instantly, a number of replies came.
Moko(michi): What's wrong?
Sho: ehhh? what's up?
Mihoko: What's happened?
I can't say anything now, Mizuki replied wearily. Please just come tonight, and all will be explained.
Then, she put her phone away, and hoped that she would be able to get through the rest of the day as if the world had not just imploded.
…
She could not imagine them discussing this…this atrocity over a full blown meal. She could not imagine managing to keep it down while doing so. But, knowing that it was likely that many of them would be hungry when they arrived, she found things that could be snacked upon instead, and set them up on her coffee table. Drinks, she could always arrange once they arrived, so she left it. Instead, she got ready, then checked through some emails, arranging a few meetings. For a brief moment, she considered contacting Oshino, because ever since her parents had died, if there had been a tricky situation, she had turned to him for advice. But, knowing what I do about him, what would happen?
"No," she decided aloud. "I'll think about that later. It's everyone here who needs to know first."
With a heavy sigh, once she'd finished going through her urgent messages, she shut down her laptop, then got out the folder that contained the printed version of the document.
THE IZURU KAMUKURA PROJECT: CENTENARY EDITION
Mizuki swallowed, then got her phone, and proceeded to scan the page. She then turned to the next page, read it carefully, scanned it, moved onto the next one, and repeated. Despite always having been a good reader, the words swam and blurred in her mind. But she got enough from it to be even sicker than she had been before she'd read it properly, to be angrier. Her hands shook as she combined all the separate scans into one file, and then sent it on their 'Shh!' group with a message:
Mizuki Teranaga: This is what I need to talk to you about. If you have time to start to read it on the way, then you can, but I'll be able to explain more once we are all here.
A reply came almost immediately.
Azuki: what the actual fuck?
Sho: you read it already
Azuki: uh, no? just looked at the title
Azuki: don't tell me that doesn't sound ominous already
Sho: that's like fifty pages imma wait for an explanation
Azuki:…..Weirdly, I agree with you.
Sosuke Mori: I think it would be prudent for us to try and read some of it on the way.
Shino: Of course you do.
Mihoko: I'll probably wait-only because I am walking here and I'd rather not bump into other pedestrians all the time.
Sho: faiiiiiir
Mizuki locked her phone screen and put it on the coffee table, and then gathered the papers together, and placed them next to her phone. There were things she could have done at that point, but every time she tried, she found herself floundering, pacing, wringing her hands. What's wrong with me? It was a pointless question, but she kept asking herself it, and eventually she abandoned productivity to flit restlessly from wall to wall until finally, people started arriving. Mihoko first, Yuna, Keiko and Minah next, warm and comforting with spikes of wariness. Sho arriving dragging a grumpy Azuki behind him, and Kumori and Mokomichi walking casually in a few moments after. Sosuke striding in purposefully. Shino and Emiko barrelling in, wide-eyed with excitement and outrage. Then Hana, slinking in quiet and wide-eyed, and finally Kaneda, breathless and full of apologies involving his sister's homework and losing track of the time.
"Alright," she said decisively, once she felt everyone was settled. "Thank you for coming."
"Sooo, what's all this about?" Kaneda asked.
"Um, I think she's going to tell us? That is why we are here." Azuki snarked.
"Yes. This morning I had a review meeting with the Principals and the advisors. This is usually a fairly ordinary affair, as it is simply to look at the various things I have been helping the school with. But today they wished to reveal a new project to me."
"And I'm guessing that this 'Izuru Kamukura' project is it?" Mokomichi asked.
"Yes." Mizuki said. "I know I only sent it a little while ago, but have any of you read it?"
Sosuke immediately nodded, and Keiko put her hand up hesitantly.
"I didn't read the whole thing, but I did skim, and…are Hope's Peak really into human experimentation now?"
"Human experimentation?!" Sho gasped.
"Did you just say fucking human experimentation?" Azuki spluttered.
"That's not…are you sure?" Minah asked, aghast.
"I am hearing right, right?" Mihoko wondered, looking a little dazed. "Right?"
"You are." Mizuki said, wearily. She sighed, rubbed her head absently.
"What, exactly, are they doing?" Mokomichi asked.
"They're trying to give all the Talents that have ever come through Hope's Peak to a single person." Mizuki said. "Essentially this will involve altering their brain in various ways, and erasing their personality and memory."
"….that doesn't make sense on many levels, and I can't even explain why." Mihoko remarked after a moment.
"That does sound like a remarkably risky procedure." Sosuke remarked. "Though, if Hope's Peak are formulating something like that, they would have planned it carefully."
"It does seem like it." Mizuki acknowledged grimly.
"Human experimentation is dangerous, though!" Yuna exclaimed.
"Yes, that would be the problem here, sweetie." Emiko said patronisingly.
"Well, it depends, really. Clinical trials for new medicines and treatments could technically be regarded as human experimentation. But effort is made to make sure it doesn't harm people." Keiko piped up.
A few of them nodded at that, and Mizuki was one of them.
"But," she said. "This is not one of them. This is exploitation, pure and simple."
She then went on to explain what she had been told at the meeting, and how it had ended. Though it pained her to do so-especially as Shino seemed triumphant once she did-she talked of the Principal's responses to her protests against it. And then, with some input from Sosuke and Keiko, she explained the summary of the paper.
-Understandably, large-scale, societal backlash would be inevitable if information of the project was leaked to the public-
-The Project must reach completion by any means necessary-it has been delayed for far too long already-
-will not be held liable for irreversible harm-
She didn't know how she managed to explain it so blandly, as if this was any old meeting, any ordinary project. But somehow, she did, and when she had finished, she could have sworn that every single face had drained of colour. Even Sosuke, beneath his composure, seemed so.
There was a beat of silence, and then they all scrambled to speak, all at once.
"But why?"
"I knew this school was up to no good!"
"I don't understand how this is meant to help!"
"When is all of this going to actually happen? Are they actually looking for people?"
"How are they gonna explain it to people?"
"How are they going to keep it secret?!"
"This is fucked up! Seriously fucked up."
And on, and on, and on. Mizuki could not calm them down. And in truth, she did not want to. All their tangled words and rage, they were hers, just externalised. Even though she was not letting out the feelings herself, she could feel the release of them, lightening her.
"I don't know how we can say that we were mad for talking about the killing game, after something like this."
This comment stopped all the clamour instantly. Everyone turned to Kumori, Mizuki included. He regarded them all with a sober expression, his eyes calm, but resolute. He held his body still-almost too still.
"Uh…I'm sorry, what?" Azuki spluttered.
"Go on." Mizuki encouraged, quietly, feeling the calm seep into her, though it was not consoling.
Far from it.
"Hope's Peak is willing to toy with lives. We've seen that already. Not just this, but Riko-kun's suicide…" Kumori's voice trembled. "The riots we experienced, and the Parade before that. All the deaths over the years that were most likely suicides. The arrangement with the graveyard. A school is meant to care about the lives of its students. It is meant to nurture them and prepare them for the world, so that they become fully-rounded human beings who can lead fulfilling, happy lives."
"Kurogane-kun….." Yuna murmured, worriedly.
"I agree." Keiko interjected.
"But it hasn't, has it?" Shino asked, pointedly. "That's what you're trying to say."
"Exactly, Hisakawa-sama." Kumori nodded. "Exactly."
"I…so, were really going to…?" Hana asked.
"We must." Kumori said.
"I agree." Kaneda said. "It seems the most logical response at the moment. Fighting fire with fire, and all of that."
"Wouldn't the more logical thing to be to work out who might be targeted, out of the Reserve Course students, and try to protect them?" Mihoko remarked.
"I…yes, it would." Kumori said, after a moment.
"Or even try to expose this. Or stop it." Shino said, flippantly. "Though, with all that ominous crap about societal backlash, it might be a tad dangerous."
"Not that will stop us!" Sho cheered.
Though he grinned at them all appealingly, earned nothing more than thirteen blank looks, Mizuki's the blankest of all. Not even Shino and Emiko, his collaborators in mischief, offered a glimmer of encouragement. Sho's laugh faltered, and he fell silent, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. Everyone else did, too, and after shuffling and sighing and all manner of worried looks flitting all over all their faces (Mizuki felt the expressions on hers, rather than saw, but knew that this what the others would be seeing) before eventually, all eyes rested upon her.
"Well then, Teranaga?"
Mizuki tilted her head curiously at Mokomichi.
"You are the instigator of all this, after all." Sosuke said, explaining what Mokomichi could not (or chose not) to explain. "Our leader, am I right?"
"You have certainly been instrumental in getting us all together. Please, tell us what to do, Teranaga-sama." Kumori pleaded.
I just never imagined things would ever come to this. What do I do now?
But as she looked at the faces of all these people, her team she had gathered to try and change things, the people who were something more complicated than friends, or accomplices, or anything like that, her resolve hardened. The doubts she'd had since the first mentions of their idea, they did not go away, but it was easier to push them aside, lock them in a box and keep them safe.
Because I know what I must do.
"With some care and planning, and further information on the situation, I believe that we can all do this. But…I do not think we should hope for a happy ending in this. Not a truly happy ending, anyway. Do you know why? I suspect many of you here might be thinking the same thing, but listen carefully, and remember this, whatever you decide is right to do, and whatever we do next."
Mizuki paused and took a deep breath, and then delivered the conclusion of her verdict:
"Hope's Peak Academy has been corrupted."
…
There was not much that could really be said after that. Only yet more expressions of disbelief and horror, only rage and just going around and around in circles that seemed hopeless. Only the assertion that there was little they could do but wait, and hope, and bide their time, and promising each other they would not do anything reckless or anything alone. And above all, the feeling that their newly conceived idea, of this 'killing game', was more than justified. That horror could only be combated with more horror, no matter how bad it was. Because Hope's Peak Academy had been corrupted, and there was no sense in thinking any less of it.
Eventually, one by one, they all left with varying farewells. With each departure, Mizuki felt herself wilt just a little more, the steely exterior she'd put on to guide them crumbling. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she knew she could not. And probably would not. There's got to be something I can do, some laws that I can invoke to protect us, some way of using our collective wealth to shield us, something….Mizuki let out a frustrated breath, and closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them and absently turning around to see that Mokomichi was still there, sitting on the chair she had dragged out from the kitchen for him.
Mizuki blinked, non-plussed.
"You're still here?"
"Evidently." Came the wry answer.
Mizuki blinked again, and tilted her head at him.
"I thought you'd left with the others."
"Nope."
Mokomichi regarded her, in that careful, piercing way he always had. But edged with something softer, too. It's been like that for a while, hasn't it? Mizuki realised suddenly. Sharp eyed he remained, but no longer looking for fault. Yes…I think it has.
"Alright then, but why? Is there something you wanted to talk about privately?"
"No, not really."
Mizuki rolled her eyes. Just come out with it.
"Then?"
Mokomichi didn't immediately respond, instead just looking at her for a moment, in that same soft-edged way, before eventually speaking.
"I just thought that if you're going to fall apart, you shouldn't do so alone."
Mizuki felt her cheeks go hot, and something seem to unclench in her heart, but all the same, she raised an eyebrow at Mokomichi.
"What makes you think that?"
"I know you well enough now."
"Oh, do you now?"
"Yes, I do."
Mizuki waited, but there was no explanation forthcoming. Instead, he simply got up and ambled to the sofa she was sitting on, settling himself next to her, at a respectable distance but still touchable without the need to reach out. Mizuki felt her cheeks become a little hotter as that observation registered in her mind. Do I know you well enough, she wondered.
She cast her mind back, from their encounter under the willow tree on the first day, to coming together for the TEP, forming this group of theirs. Cleaning the graveyard together, and the elusive companionship from it that had fled too easily, that she been looking for and looking for ever since. And she'd found it gradually again, hadn't she? In the graveyard again, under the willow tree again, in countless other places, over the course of time when his judgement and sharpness had morphed into something else. She'd found it.
I do know you well enough.
The realisation was lightening-even the spark of it made her head feel less tight than it had just moments ago. Yet, it was just something else she didn't know how to handle.
Without a word, she simply leaned her head against Mokomichi's shoulder for a moment, took comfort in the reassuring physical sensation. She felt Mokomichi's hands hesitantly rest on her back, and that felt reassuring too, but she didn't say anything, just stayed there for a moment.
When she straightened, she looked at Mokomichi, searching his face, thinking of all the things that she needed to say, about everything. But she didn't say any of it. Instead, she clutched his arms to make him pause when he started to move his hands away, and after a long moment in which they both assessed each other searchingly, his hands settled on her waist instead, while hers went to cup his face, and as if it had been inevitable all along, they kissed.
This, too, is a sort of pretending, the thought occurred to her. Pretending that everything is fine. That this is fine. But at the same time, she didn't care.
She did not know how long they kissed for, only that for a moment, that was all there was in the world. Just them. She knew that everything else was still there, that it would be when the moment was over. But somehow, this made it, if not all okay, then manageable. Eventually, though, they moved away from each other slightly (only slightly, still holding each other), taking a moment to breathe.
Again, Mizuki thought she should say something, but instead, didn't. Mokomichi didn't either, instead looking at her, this time with a new expression, something akin to wonder. They could have stayed like that for a while, if not for the fact that their stomachs started to rumble.
Embarrassed, Mizuki jumped back, and Mokomichi seemed flustered too, but he laughed.
"Well, it is roughly dinner time now, right?"
"More or less," Mizuki said carefully. "I'll heat something up."
She did not bother to ask if he was staying, since that was a foregone conclusion by now. Instead, she got up, attempting to subtly straighten her clothes, as if that would somehow make her feel less…giddy. She headed into the kitchen, Mokomichi behind her, and went to her freezer, looking at the batches of leftovers that she'd stored there, a little taken aback by them. It's weird, cooking for more than one person more frequently. After a moment perusing what she had, she eventually selected a casserole and some rice and chicken, and let them defrost while she searched out plates, cutlery and glasses.
"What do you want to drink?" she asked.
"Water's fine."
"Alright then."
Pouring water, and finding a couple of snacks, she took them to the table, and they sat down.
"Are you alright, though?" Mokomichi asked, as if picking up a conversation that had lapsed. Though, in a way, that was the case. Just that it had been wordless, and now they were using words.
"I…" Mizuki sighed. "No. Not particularly."
"Mhm." Mokomichi nodded. "I wish I knew what to say."
"So do I. But perhaps there isn't anything, for now."
"Perhaps the only way really is this…" Mokomichi trailed off, and Mizuki finished the sentence off in her mind-the killing game.
"Maybe it is."
"But you don't want it to be though, do you."
"No. No, I don't."
But…
They sipped at their water and nibbled at their snacks for a while, and then Mizuki got up to sort out the meals, warming them up and dividing them between the plates, before bringing them over. There was a quickly murmured 'thanks for the food', before they returned to silence to eat. This is nice, Mizuki thought a couple of times, occasionally looking up and catching Mokomichi's eye, earning her a small smile that made her feel warm, and , if she dared admit it, more than a little tingly. But all too soon, they had finished.
"Do you want a fruit? Or a dessert, maybe? I have some chocolates." She asked as she gathered their plates and took them to the sink.
"Nah, I'm good." Mokomichi said.
Mizuki nodded at that, annoyed at herself for feeling disappointed. Mokomichi tilted his head slightly, then to her surprise, said:
"I could stay, though."
"It's a school night." Mizuki responded, a little dumbly, turning away from the sink. "You don't even have anything with you."
Excuses, excuses.
Mokomichi shrugged, then hugged her.
"If you want me to though, I can. I could always go and get some things, and return." He murmured.
This would not exactly be a quick pop around the corner journey, and Mizuki felt as if she should refuse, tell him it was fine. But it had been such a long day, and he had been the only good thing in it, pretence or otherwise. And if I'm being honest, I want….what she wanted, she was not quite ready to put into words, even in her own head. But she knew what it was, completely and utterly.
"Only if you want to." She whispered back.
Mokomichi released his hold on her, stepped back and looked at her, long and searching. Inscrutable, even now. But she didn't mind.
"Of course it is."
…
While he was gone, Mizuki quickly got the washing up out of the way, then went back to the living room to gather up the papers she had shown to the others and hurriedly took them to the bedroom, locking them away and releasing a long-held breath once she had. Then, after evaluating the state of her bed with a critical eye, she went to the cupboard she kept her bedding, and pulled out a spare pillow and a spare quilt. She moved her pillow to the right side of the bed, then once she'd found a pillow cover for the spare pillow, that went on the left side. The quilt she rolled up as thin and long as she could make it-not without some difficulty-and then she placed that length way down the middle. An admittedly makeshift way of making two beds out of one, but it would do as a sort of compromise.
For tonight, anyway. It was a thought that surprised her, but she could not contemplate it more. Not properly. She just needed to get through the night.
It was only after that she showered and changed into her pyjamas and dressing gown, before, at a loss as to what else to do, she took her laptop to the living room, determined that she do something useful while waiting. But when the doorbell finally rang, she was up like a shot.
"Sorry, I took a little longer. I decided to wash at my place."
"Oh, no, you shouldn't have, you could have easily used my bathroom…." Mizuki said as she shut the door and Mokomichi took his shoes off.
"It's fine, it doesn't matter. I'll probably change in your bathroom though," he replied, holding up an overnight bag. "Speaking of which, where will I sleep? The sofa"
"No." Mizuki responded, abrupt as possible even as her cheeks heated again.
"Then…."
Mizuki simply chose to lead him to the bedroom, and let him see the bed for himself.
"What is that?" he asked, laughter in his voice as he pointed to the rolled up quilt.
"To separate the sides!" she spluttered defensively. "So it's like, we're sharing, but not properly. I heard Yorokobi-san talking about how she advised a new couple to do that for some reason or other and I thought it'd be appropriate, under the circumstances."
"It didn't strike me that you thought along the same lines of Yorokobi." He smirked
"Well, not as such, but, you know…."
"Yeah, I get it. "
"Y-you do?"
Mokomichi nodded seriously, no longer smirking. Mizuki waited, but he didn't say anything, instead, for the first time, showing some embarrassment, fidgeting shyly. It's fine, she tried to convey, I know that you know. On an impulse, Mizuki kissed Mokomichi again-only briefly this time-then stepped back and smiled. She hadn't thought she'd be able to smile today.
"We can talk more about it in the morning. But, essentially, yes."
"Of course."
Mokomichi put his bags next to Mizuki's wardrobe, and pulled his pyjamas out of them before going to the bathroom to change. Mizuki hung her dressing gown up, then climbed into the side of the bed she had designated as hers, and sat waiting until he returned a few moments later. Yawning slightly, he climbed into the other side, but did not lie down straight away.
"I wouldn't really know for sure, but hopefully it might be easier to think of something we can do in the daylight." Mokomichi said. "Don't things often look different in light?"
"It all seems equally grim to me." Mizuki sighed. "But I still don't think that there really will be anything."
And, for now, I don't want to think about it at all.
"But let's leave it for now, yeah? Forget for tonight?"
It's not right for me to forget. But, wanting it badly, as she wanted so many other things, she nodded, and lay down. Mokomichi followed suit, turned so that he was facing her. A couple of moments went past as they looked at each other, and then quietly, Mokomichi put one of his hands on the quilt barrier.
"This won't 'violate' any boundaries or anything, right?" he asked, a slight smirk in his voice.
Mizuki managed to smile at that once again, and shook her head, covering his hand with hers.
"We should actually sleep now." She whispered.
"Right." He whispered back.
And somehow, for the first time in a long while, Mizuki did indeed manage to sleep.
Some of the Izuru Kamukura Project quotes are courtesy of Komaesa's Tumblr, where some of the extracts from the canon document of the project have been translated.