James:

"Sirius!"

This wasn't happening.

It couldn't be.

But no matter how much his brain cried out that this couldn't be real, James' eyes continued to see his brother motionless on the ground.

The events of the next few moments happened in slow motion for James. Marlene was at Sirius' side. Her wand over his chest as she frantically cast incantations. Then Frank was over Sirius, his wand out as he and Marlene worked to close the gaping wounds covering Sirius' chest. Then a woman with dark brown hair was there, conjuring a litter and helping get Sirius' pack off and his body lifted onto the canvas. Then Lily pulled James along behind the frantic group surrounding his brother.

Every voice seemed slow, their movements seemed slow, the way Sirius' chest continued to remain still was all in slow motion.

"James," Lily pulled his hand, "James, let's get you a chair."

He shook his head, eyes fixed on Sirius' form waiting for his chest to rise.

"James," Lily pulled harder, "You're white as a sheet, please let's get you a chair."

James shook his head again. Her voice seemed very far away, and his vision was beginning to go fuzzy around the edges as he watched.

"James!"

Her voice was a quiet echo as everything went black.

The next thing he remembered was his head aching. Then he realized his head was on something soft, which made no sense. He blinked open his eyes and took in his surroundings. His eyes sought Lily out of habit, and he found her almost immediately.

"Thank, Merlin," she breathed and dropped from her chair to kneel beside him. It was then James realized he was stretched out on a cot. "I thought we were going to lose you both."

James felt his world collapse around him at her words. The tears came hot and his sobs came fast. He couldn't catch his breath and instinctively he curled in on himself.

This was his fault. He lost his parents to age, but this, this was all on him. He'd asked Sirius to help protect Lily, and Sirius took the hit for her. James knew this was his fault, and the guilt of it was going to kill him.

And what did it matter? What good was living if he was alone?

"James," Lily wrapped herself around him. "James, breathe, you have to breathe!"

But he didn't want to breathe. He wanted to die! He wanted this guilt to consume him so he couldn't feel anymore. He wanted to return to the blackness so he'd stop seeing Sirius' still chest. He wanted out!

"Give him this, Lils," he heard Marlene's voice and then a cup pressed against his lips. He drank the foul liquid willingly, and the blackness finally returned.

When he came to for a second time, he realized he'd been moved again. Rather than a cot, he was now on a bed.

So he hadn't died.

Damn.

He took in a shuddering breath before opening his eyes and finding Lily asleep next to him.

Or maybe he had?

Tentatively, he reached out and touched her arm. She felt real. He pinched himself and felt the pull of his skin.

He was almost positive he was alive, except that Lily lay in this bed with him.

She blinked her eyes open and smiled.

"James."

He nodded, not sure he could speak.

"How are you?"

James swallowed, feeling his throat constrict. He shook his head.

"Oh, James," Lily pulled him to her. "It's going to be alright. I promise it'll be alright."

"How," he heard his voice croak as the guilt and grief threatened to overtake him again, "how long have I been asleep?"

"Three days. Marly gave you something that made you sleep. It was like one of the things she gave Sirius."

James felt his heart stop.

Did he dare hope?

Yes.

"Lily," he buried his face in the crook of her neck, bracing for her to say what he feared to be true, "where is my brother?"

Her fingers started combing through his hair and she pressed herself against him. "He's in the Widow Longbottom's room. Alice, that's Frank's wife, she's had a bit of training with healers and between her and Marly and Frank they managed to get him breathing again. He's in really rough shape, James. We're not sure what's next right now."

James pulled back, his heart beating fast in his chest. "Sirius is alive?"

"Yes," Lily said cautiously, "but James, we're not sure if he'll make it or not. The most skilled healer here in Enid said that Marlene knew more to do than he did."

James disentangled himself from Lily's arms. "I need to talk to Frank. I can get the best healer in Godric's Hollow here in a few hours."

"Really?" Lily followed after him as he moved to the door. "But James, message carriers don't even travel that fast."

James realized he hadn't ever managed to tell Lily who he was. But now his perspective had changed. He might lose Lily by her own choosing, but he was near to losing Sirius from James' own stupidity.

"Lily," he stopped with his hand resting on the door handle. "Before the attack, I was going to tell you and Marlene that I'm King James of Godric's Hollow. All those stories I told you, I knew them because I lived them. And I know you're Princess Lily of Privet and I've known since we caught up to you in Diagon. I'm sorry this has to be so sudden, but I have to save Sirius."

James opened the door, noticing that Lily didn't follow him.

He'd have emotions for that later. Right now his brother was dying and James was not going to stand by and let it happen.