Hello everyone! I'm back with a new update for you all. Can I just say, the response on my last chapter was absolutely incredible. I was so glad to see you all enjoyed that one, I had a lot of fun writing it, even though everything Walker was saying to/about Gabby hurt me a bit as I wrote it, but I was thrilled to see you all enjoy it so much. Your reviews meant so much to me, so thank you.
Before we get started, there is one thing I want to talk about. I don't believe I mentioned it on this story, though I did on I Won't Let You Go, but basically I have decided that for the sake of my sanity, I need to cut back to only posting one update per story a week. Since I started this story in August, I've done pretty well to get you all two updates for both of my stories every week, but I just don't feel like I'm able to sustain that anymore. So I asked everyone if they would prefer I update this story and I Won't Let You Go on the same day, or continue my schedule of posting Monday and Thursday, just instead of two chapters those days, it would only be one. And I'm pretty sure every single person said post one update Monday, and the other on Thursday. So that's what I'm going to do. Which, that was basically a long winded way of me saying that this story will now be updated once a week on Thursdays, and I Won't Let You Go will be updated once a week on Mondays, and then my updates for If We Never Say Goodbye will just come as I finish them. I've loved writing these stories, and updating so frequently, but it's starting to become more stressful than anything else, me trying to get these updates out, so I'm hoping this will help with that.
So yes, from now on, expect updates on this story every Thursday. And I'm going to address this all on I Won't Let You Go as well, but that next update won't be posted until Monday. And then If We Never Say Goodbye will just get updated as I have time. Hopefully that makes sense, and I hope you all understand why I need to cut back.
The love and support you all have given me on not just this story, but all my work, is why we've made it this far. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for that. I can't wait to keep sharing these chapters and my stories with you all.
I hope you enjoy this one.
FORTY ONE
Casey ran his hand over his mouth as he watched Shay follow after Dawson, the thick tension in the room only growing as all eyes moved to him, Matt catching all the shocked and confused glances as a heavy silence settled around them. Blowing out a sharp breath, Casey's eyes found Severide, his friend wearing a sympathetic look, shaking his head back and forth slightly.
"So you and Dawson…" Herrmann's voice broke the uncomfortable quiet, Matt swallowing the lump in his throat as he glanced towards the older firefighter, an unreadable expression covering the man's face. "You two are together?" He asked, clearing some of the confusion from his voice.
That was a question everyone in the room already knew the answer to. Obviously, they all had found out about his and Gabby's relationship before they got the chance to tell them properly, but Casey figured the man actually needed to hear it from him. That they all did.
Releasing a soft sigh, Matt quickly glanced around the room, seeing everyone's eyes were still on him, Casey giving them a nod. "We are… yeah." He replied, his eyes moving back towards the conference room door where Gabby had just run from moments prior. "We were going to tell you guys today, after Gabby spoke to Walker, but obviously you found out already…" He trailed off, clenching his eyes shut for a split second before carefully stepping towards the hallway. "I know you all probably have a lot of questions, and I can answer them later, I will, but right now I gotta…" He nodded off down the hallway, Casey unable to focus on anything more than Gabby in this moment, Matt needing to know she was okay before he did anything else. Shooting the room a regretful look, Matt stepped out into the hallway, going in search of his girlfriend.
He left behind a quiet common room, everyone still trying to grasp everything that had been thrown at them in the last few minutes, no one having expected any of this. None of them had ever thought anything was going on between the Lieutenant and Dawson; everyone knew they were good friends, that, after a bit of a bumpy start, they became close, but no one ever suspected it was anything more than friendship. Not after Gabby had just gotten out of her relationship with Walker, they just never assumed she'd date in house again. But clearly, there was a hell of a lot more to the story than any of them knew.
"...What the hell just happened?" Herrmann asked, the firefighter still not sure he was grasping what was going on. He, more than most, had seen how close Dawson and the Lieutenant had become. He'd seen them together at Molly's, he saw how they were with one another in that warehouse when the floor collapsed, but he never thought they were anything more than friends. "Did anyone else know about this?" He asked the room, looking around at all the confused faces, everyone looking equally as unsure about what was happening… All but one person. "Severide? Did you know about Dawson and the Lieutenant?" He questioned directly, watching Kelly closely, everyone else glancing to the squad Lieutenant, Severide sighing softly before responding.
"...I did." He replied, Herrmann's eyebrows raising slightly, Kelly feeling uncomfortable under the stares from his coworkers.
"How long has this been going on? I mean, was it really right after Walker and Dawson split?" He prodded, Severide shooting him a look before he began walking towards the hallway, shaking his head.
"Anything you guys wanna know, you're gonna have to ask Casey… It's not my place to say." He told them lamely, Herrmann smacking his lips together.
"But she didn't-" He cut himself off, Herrmann shaking his head. "...She didn't cheat on Walker?" He asked, Severide's eyes widening. "They weren't together before her and Bryan ended things?"
"No Herrmann, they weren't." Severide replied forcefully, not liking how the man had even thought to ask the question. "Gabby didn't cheat on him like he did to her, they were over before she even met Casey." Kelly clarified, his eyes narrow. He didn't want to get into any aspects of Dawson and Casey's relationship, not when he had no idea how much they were wanting to share, but he didn't want anyone here thinking Dawson had cheated. Severide didn't want there to be any confusion on that front. "Matt can answer the rest of your questions, but don't even bother asking him that one, because they did nothing wrong." He spoke, shaking his head before moving towards the double doors out towards the garage, Kelly having to push down the anger building inside his gut as he went in search of the man who had just caused a scene in front of the entire firehouse.
And it took him only seconds to find him, Severide seeing Walker pacing back and forth in between the two fire trucks, rage pouring off of him as he slammed his fist into the door before continuing on like nothing had happened, Bryan bringing his hands up to the back of his head as he moved.
"You feel better about yourself, now?" Severide spat, his voice gaining the man's attention, Walker scoffing as he stopped moving.
"Of course, I guess I should've expected this." Bryan muttered, shaking his head before continuing to move back and forth across the floor, Severide walking closer to him. "Whatever you're gonna say, I really don't wanna hear it."
"And you think Dawson wanted to hear any of what you just said to her in there?" Kelly fired back, Bryan glaring towards him.
"Since when did you become so buddy-buddy with Gabby? You fucking her, too? ...Wouldn't surprise me." He huffed, Kelly's narrow eyes following Bryan's movements, Severide unable to believe what he was hearing.
"Casey really is right, you are so fucking dense. You really think this has anything to do with you? That Gabby's dating Casey just to get back at you? What the fuck is your problem?"
"Of course it has to do with me!" He shouted angrily, his hands dropping to his sides. "Why else would she fuck him? Why else would she go after my boss? She did this to get back at me, she's being the same bitch she always was." Bryan added harshly, Kelly shaking his head.
"You are unbelievable. You are fucking unbelievable." He spoke sharply, Severide running his hand over his mouth before continuing. "Dawson isn't with Casey because of anything having to do with you, although I'm sure your ego will never let you accept that. But regardless of the reason, that doesn't matter. Because you have no say in what she does anymore. I'm not sure why you ever thought you had any control over her anyway- that's not normal, by the way, but especially now, she doesn't owe you a damn thing, not after what you did. Are you really that fucking controlling?"
"God, why is everyone here always on her side? It's always 'poor Dawson' this and 'poor Dawson' that, you have Casey telling me to grow the fuck up, why doesn't she? She's not a fucking kid, and everyone here treats her like one!" Bryan growled, shaking his head in disgust. "You all have no idea what kind of bullshit I had to put up with for years because of her… you wanna talk about controlling? She ruined my life, is all she ever did for me. She made me miserable-"
"Then you break up with her!" Severide yelled, unable to listen to Walker any longer. "You break up with her, that's what you do. If you were really that unhappy, you end things. You don't drag her along for months, you don't cheat on her. You don't fucking propose to her when you have no intention of marrying her, who the hell does that?" He asked rhetorically, seeing the anger shining in Walker's eyes. "If you really didn't want to be with her, you should've ended things the second you realized that. You don't get to fuck around behind her back, and then try and blame her for it."
"You have no idea what I dealt with with that bitch, she was insufferable-"
"You're right." Severide cut him off, Bryan's eyebrows furrowing. "You're right, I have no idea what went on in your relationship. Because I stupidly believed every bullshit lie you ever told me about her… When you'd talk about how overbearing she was, how she never wanted you to go out, and have any fun.. That was all bullshit. You just couldn't go out and have the fun you wanted with her, because your version of fun was fucking some chick you met in a bar." Kelly recanted, Walker opening his mouth to defend himself, but Severide spoke again before he could. "You'd go on and on, always bitching about something she'd done, but you never gave me the full story, did you? Every time you'd complain to me about her… if how you just spoke to her in there says anything, it's that you'd leave a hell of a lot of the story out."
"Are you done?" Walker snapped, his eyes narrowed on his former friend. "Because I'm tired of listening to this shit. I get it, you're on Casey's side. He came in, you two became best friends and now you're taking his side, that's great. But I don't have to sit here and listen to you go on and on about this. So just let me know when you're done." He spoke roughly, Severide shaking his head in disbelief as he began to step backwards, Kelly unable to understand how he ever trusted the man across from him.
"Just stay the fuck away from them." Kelly spat, Walker rolling his eyes. "Casey, Dawson… leave them alone. They're happy, and I know that pisses you off, but nothing you do will change that. So just move the fuck on with your life, and leave them alone." He finished, anger seeping into his words before Severide turned around, stomping back towards the firehouse without another word, leaving the irritated firefighter out in the garage.
Casey pushed the door open as he walked into the bunk room, his eyes moving around the small space until his gaze landed on his office, seeing all the blinds on his windows and door now drawn, giving away the location of his girlfriend. The second she left the common room moments prior, he had a feeling this was where she'd gone, and he imagined Shay had been the one to close them off from the rest of the firehouse, Matt's stomach dropping as he tried to prepare himself for whatever state Gabby would be in. He wasn't sure what to expect, Matt having seen the pain and hurt shining in her eyes after everything Walker had said to her, but now that she'd had some time to be away from everyone, he truly had no idea what to expect. All he knew was that he needed to be there for her, and he had every intention of doing that.
Sighing softly, Casey turned the handle before slowly pushing the door open, immediately being met by the sight of Gabby sitting on the edge of his bed, Shay standing by her side, the blonde's hand resting on her shoulder. He wasn't sure if they'd been talking before he came in, but from the looks of it Gabby hadn't been responding to much, the PIC not even having looked up when he came inside, Shay giving him a weak smile.
Taking a deep breath, Shay stepped away from her partner, knowing she was in good hands as she slid past Casey, stopping to give his arm a squeeze before continuing out of the small room, closing the door behind her, leaving the couple alone.
Pursing his lips together, Matt took the few steps towards the bed, Gabby finally looking up when he got closer, Casey frowning at the sight of the blank look covering her face, her dark brown eyes not having their usual spark. When their gazes locked, she forced a weak smile, one that didn't reach her eyes as Casey came to a stop in front of her, Matt leaning over to place a comforting kiss on the top of her head before he squatted down in front of her, his hands resting over her thighs.
The two stayed in a soft quiet for a few moments, Matt doing what he could to remain a comforting presence as he tried to get a read on her, the paramedic not giving much away as she took slow breaths.
"...I'm okay." She murmured, blinking quickly before she focused her gaze down onto her lap, watching as he gently squeezed her legs, his thumb stroking over the tops of her thighs.
"Okay." He repeated softly, continuously moving his hands across her legs, knowing the action soothed her. "..But it's alright if you're not." He added gently, Gabby giving him a quick, short nod before she reached out for him, grabbing ahold of one of his hands and clasping it within hers, lacing their fingers together before resting their conjoined hands in her lap.
"How much did you guys hear?" Gabby questioned, meeting his gaze again, finding herself comforted by his warm, blue eyes. Although she wasn't entirely sure why she was asking, she had a pretty good idea of the answer, Matt releasing a soft sigh before he responded.
"Most of it." He spoke, refusing to lie to her even though when he saw her face falter part of him wished he would've, Gabby giving him another nod as she bit down on the inside of her lip harshly for a second.
"Well, I guess everyone knows now." She responded, her words becoming shaky as they left her lips, Matt frowning when he saw her bottom lip start to tremble, the firefighter knowing she was fighting a losing battle with herself as she tried to keep her composure.
"Gabby…"
"I'm okay." She cut in, Matt feeling her squeeze his hand as she looked back down to her lap, her free hand coming up to run along the side of her face. "I'm alright, I am." She told him, her demeanor telling him more than her words ever could as she blinked furiously, the action causing a lone tear to slide down her skin. "Dammit." She muttered, clearly mad at herself for letting her emotions win out, Matt shaking his head as she quickly wiped under her eyes.
"It's okay to be upset." He murmured, tightening his grip on her palm as another tear slid down her cheek, Matt reaching up to wipe it away. "He had no right to say any of that to you, none of it was true. He's just angry, and taking it out of you-"
"But what if it is true?" She asked quickly, Casey's eyebrows furrowing as he shook his head, Gabby swallowing thickly. "Maybe he's right, maybe I'm the reason things ended the way they did between us. Maybe I'm the reason him and I weren't able to work. I mean, you couldn't stand me either when we first met, maybe I'm the problem, maybe-"
"Gabby, stop." He cut in gently, seeing that she was getting more upset, his heart sinking into his stomach as her words hit his ears. "Nothing he said was true."
"But-"
"Nothing he said was true." He repeated, giving her hand another squeeze, hating that she was even thinking that Walker had been right. "I need you to believe that, believe me when I tell you that it's not true. He's pissed off, and he's just trying to hurt you, but you didn't deserve the things he said to you, you didn't do anything wrong. Nothing you could've done would have ever warranted that."
"But how can you be so sure?" She asked, Matt raising his eyebrows slightly, the firefighter not following her reason. "I mean, you didn't even know me then, and you don't know much about my relationship with him, how do you know it wasn't my fault?"
"Because I know you." He cut in, Gabby taking a deep breath, Matt sliding his free hand up and down her side. "And no matter what happened between you two, you never deserved what he did to you. And you sure as hell didn't deserve that." He continued, nodding back towards the bunk room, his gesture referring to the words Walker had just told her, Gabby blinking back the tears in her eyes as she looked to him. "And I know things between us were rocky when you and I first met, but you were hurting... We both were. And you were trying to get past that." He told her, Gabby taking a deep breath. "And, admittedly, it took me awhile to realize what you were going through then, but everything that happened between us was as much on me as it was on you. I don't want you thinking any differently… He's wrong, Gabby. I'll do whatever I need to until you believe that, but nothing he said to you was true."
Gabby drew in a slow breath, Matt lifting his hand up to her face, resting his palm against her cheek, stroking his thumb gently over her skin, seeing her eyes shut as he watched her closely.
For as long as he'd known her, Matt had picked up on the fact that Gabby really didn't have a lot of faith in herself, that she tended to overthink and second guess everything, especially early on when it came to him. And every time he learned more about how Walker treated her, he understood why. If what Walker had said today was any indication as to how she'd been treated by him, Casey could only imagine what the man would say to her private, the thought making him sick. No one deserved that, no one deserved to be talked down to the way she was, especially by someone who used to claim that they loved her. Gabby especially didn't deserve that. This smart, beautiful, amazing, compassionate woman deserved none of that, and the fact that Walker had not only said those things to her, but she was wondering if maybe they had been true, absolutely broke his heart.
"Gabby…" He murmured, his soft voice getting her to open her eyes, Matt seeing the exhausted look staring back at him, the firefighter assuming it was more so a mental exhaustion than a physical one. "What's going on in there?" He asked, tapping his index finger against the side of her head, Gabby sighing softly before she looked back down to her lap, Matt dropping his hand to her side.
"I don't know… I guess I'm still just hung up on what he said." She breathed out, Matt nodding slowly. "And I know I shouldn't be, I know you're right… He's angry at me, and he knew he could hurt me… I just didn't think it would hurt this much." She admitted softly, a frown forming over his face as she shook her head. "And it shouldn't. I shouldn't care what he says. I don't care about him, what he says shouldn't affect me but-..."
"You loved him." He finished for her when she couldn't, Gabby lifting her head to meet his gaze. "You loved him for a long time, so hearing him say those things to you… that's gonna hurt."
"But I don't feel that way anymore, it shouldn't matter." She replied quickly, Matt hearing the frustration in her voice, Casey knowing that feeling was directed solely at herself.
"I know you don't, but just because you've moved on from him, it doesn't take away the years that you did love him. He was a big part of your life, Gabby, hearing him say that stuff about your relationship, that's going to affect you… There's nothing wrong with that." He told her, Gabby pressing her hand against her head, clearly trying to alleviate some of the tension that had built up there. "I'm sorry he ever said those things to you in the first place, I can't speak for him and why you two were together, but what he said about us, and why I'm with you…" He started, Gabby's eyes locking with his, the soft smile on his face calming her. "He couldn't be more wrong. I love you, and nothing will ever change that. I love all of you, okay?" Matt spoke confidently, Gabby unable to stop the slight smile that tugged at her lips. "I know what he said hurt you, and that's okay, but he is so wrong, Gabby. You're absolutely incredible, and not a day goes by where I'm not thankful we met the night we did. I'm grateful for everything that happened between us, even the stuff that hurt us, because it got us here. I'm the happiest I think I've ever been, and that's all because of you." He continued, seeing her spirits lifting slightly, unshed tears shining in her eyes as she lifted her hand up towards his head, stroking her fingers through his hair. "And I'm not going anywhere, alright? I'm here. I'm in this, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does, because you and I know why we're together. We know how we feel, and you should never be made to feel guilty for being happy. I know you trusted him, and I know he broke that trust and that still hurts, but he never deserved someone like you. You deserve so much better than what you got from him." Matt told her, Gabby gnawing on her bottom lip. "You deserve someone who loves you, who's there for you, someone who supports you… someone who doesn't mock your insanely terrible dancing," He added, trying to lighten some of the heaviness in the room as he referenced her less than stellar dance moves, usually only done when she was at least a little tipsy, Matt smiling when he saw her laugh softly. "...You deserve someone good. And, even though you definitely settled when agreeing to date me," He spoke with a gentle grin, Gabby shaking her head in slight amusement, "I try every day to be the type of man you deserve."
He barely got the words out before Gabby leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him tightly. It was an awkward angle, Matt nearly falling over from the force of her movements but he quickly steadied himself, Casey placing his hand around her back, Gabby hunched over as her head dug into his neck.
"...Thank you." She whispered against his skin, Matt smiling softly when he felt her press a kiss against his neck, the firefighter running his hand along her back.
"You never need to thank me for that." He murmured, feeling her press another kiss to his skin before she pulled back, Matt brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before he pushed himself up, his muscles angry at him for staying in that crouched position for so long, the Lieutenant moving to sit beside her on the bed. Without prompting she leaned into his side, Matt wrapping his arm around her back, his hand landing on her waist, Gabby resting her head against his shoulder.
They sat in a comfortable quiet for a few moments, Matt continuously rubbing his hand along her side as Gabby gripped onto his thigh, Casey able to feel her body slowly relaxing as they sat together. He could tell she was deep within her own head, Matt occasionally pressing kisses against her hair, hoping the gesture could keep her grounded. He wasn't exactly sure what she was thinking about, he just hoped it wasn't about what Walker had said to her. Bryan had done enough damage to her already, the last thing Matt wanted was for this to make it worse, although part of him was still having a hard time understanding how Walker could say those things to her in the first place.
He knew Gabby was upset, she had every right to be, because Walker never should've said any of that to her. Whether it was actually what he believed, or he was only saying it to upset her, it was cruel and he never should've done it. But he did, because he knew he could hurt her, and that mentality made Matt sick.
Walker loved Gabby for a long time, even with all the bullshit he put her through, so for him to be able to look her in the eye and say those things, with absolutely no remorse, it was heart breaking to see what that had done to her. Because, regardless of how things ended between them, Gabby loved him. She spent a long time loving Bryan, and for their three year relationship to be treated like it meant nothing to him, that he only kept her around for sex, Matt couldn't imagine what that felt like. To be made to feel used in that way, it made him sick. Even at his and Hallie's lowest, she never belittled him. She had done some terrible things, but she never treated him like that, like she was only with him to use him, and he couldn't even imagine what that had done to Gabby's psyche, especially if this had been a common occurrence.
And that's part of what he kept getting hung up on. How if this is how Walker treated her when he knew people were around, then how much worse had things been behind closed doors? What had been said to Gabby when it was just them? A part of him wanted to know, he wanted to know what all Walker had done so he could try and help her get past it, and show her Bryan was wrong… But the other part of him wasn't sure he could handle hearing it. When he sat out there in the common room, having to listen to Walker talk down to her in that way, he could barely stand to hear it.
But he would. If Gabby ever felt comfortable enough to share with him what all exactly had gone on between her and Walker, he would listen to whatever she had to tell him. Because as hard as it would be to hear it, this wasn't about him. It was about Gabby, and making sure she never felt the way Walker had made her feel again.
"You doing okay?" He asked softly after a few quiet moments, the words sounding a bit stupid as the left his lips. Of course she wasn't okay, but he wasn't sure what else to ask her, Matt feeling her nod against his shoulder.
"I'm alright… Just processing everything, I guess." She murmured, Matt giving her a nod of his own as he squeezed her side gently. "...I just hate that he ruined this." Gabby added, Matt's eyebrows furrowing as he pulled back from her slightly, the paramedic reluctantly lifting her head.
"What do you mean?"
"Walker, he ruined this- He ruined us being able to tell everyone." She replied sadly, Casey's face softening as he shook his head. "I really wanted this to go well, and I know how excited you were for them all to know… I was, too. And he ruined it."
"Nothing was ruined." Matt responded without hesitation, Gabby meeting his gaze. "Of course I would've liked to be able to be the one to tell them, and I hate the way it happened, but the important part was that they knew. And I know I still need to have an actual conversation with them, but the reason I was so excited to tell them was because I just wanted them to know, and now they do. Everything's fine."
"...So they're not mad?" She questioned softly, Casey's eyebrows furrowing.
"Why would they be mad?"
"I don't know." She responded with a shrug, looking down to her lap. "For finding out the way they did…"
"That wasn't our fault." He replied, Gabby taking a deep breath, Matt rubbing his hand along her side. "I know they're confused, a lot got thrown at them at once, but they're not mad. They have questions, and I can deal with all that… Once I talk to them, everything will be fine. I don't want you worrying about this." Casey told her, Gabby nodding, still refusing to meet his eyes. Sighing softly, he gently placed his hand under her chin, lifting her head until she was looking at him, seeing unshed tears still sitting in her eyes. "Walker didn't ruin this, okay? What he did, that doesn't change anything for us. I wish he wasn't such an angry dick, but nothing between you and me has changed, and once I explain everything to the house, they'll be fine, too… But I still love you, you and I are still happy, and now that they know, we can just be ourselves." He told her, seeing a slight smile pulling on her face, Matt running his thumb along her bottom lip. "Nothing for us has changed, okay?"
Nodding slowly, Gabby leaned in, pressing a firm kiss to his lips, her hand resting on his neck as they slowly moved together, Matt keeping her close to him as he kept his hand on her waist. "I love you." She whispered against his lips when they stopped to catch their breath, Gabby feeling him smile before he kissed her again.
Their intimate moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, Gabby pulling back from Casey as they both look towards the sound. "Hey, sorry to interrupt," Shay's voice flooded into the room, Matt pushing himself up from the bed, walking towards the door. "But Boden wants to see you guys."
He pulled the door open just as she finished talking, the blonde's eyes immediately moving towards Gabby, flashing her a friend a sympathetic smile.
"Thanks Shay." Matt replied, the blonde nodding as Gabby stood up from the bunk, walking towards the door.
"You okay?" Shay asked, Gabby giving her a nod as the blonde brought her in for a quick hug, Matt smiling softly at the sight as Dawson held onto her partner tightly. "Just say the word and I'll castrate the son of a bitch." Matt's eyes widened slightly, Shay's words earning a slight scoff from Dawson as the two separated.
"As much as I appreciate that, it's not necessary Shay." Gabby responded, the three moving out of Casey's office.
"Well, if you change your mind, the offer's always on the table." Shay replied, rubbing along her friend's back before stepping away from them, her eyes moving towards Matt. "You remember that, too, Casey." She warned, the Lieutenant shaking his head as he put his hands up in defense, Gabby chuckling at the childish actions of her best friend and her boyfriend, Shay giving him a playful glare before continuing towards the exit.
"Thank you, Shay." Gabby spoke just as she got to the door, her voice much more serious than it had been seconds prior, the blonde turning around, wearing a soft smile.
"I've got your back, babe." Shay reminded her, Gabby nodding before her partner disappeared into the hallway, leaving the couple alone in the bunk room, the PIC immediately reaching for Casey's hand, the firefighter glancing towards her.
"You okay?" He asked again, earning a slight nod from her.
"Yeah, I'm good… I'm just not sure what Boden's gonna say. I mean, I know he's probably gonna want to talk to us about what just happened, but I… I don't know." She trailed off, shaking her head as she failed to vocalize her thoughts.
"It'll be okay. Whatever it is… You haven't done anything wrong." He reassured her, Gabby looking up to him as he gave her hand a firm squeeze. "And remember… you've got me. Always."
His sincere words brought a smile to her face, Gabby nodding as she took a deep breath, giving his hand one last squeeze before she dropped it, the two heading off towards Boden's office.
The walk to get there didn't last nearly as long as she'd hoped, Gabby doing all she could to avoid the curious eyes of the common room as her and Matt passed her coworkers, knowing there was no other route to the Chief's office. And when they got there, Gabby's steps slowed when she saw Bryan sitting inside with Boden, the two unsure of if they were supposed to wait, or join them. But they soon got their answer when Boden waved them inside, Matt opening the door and walking in first, his protective instinct kicking in as he felt the need to be between Walker and Gabby, Dawson shutting the door behind them.
Walker was seated in one of the chairs across from Boden, Gabby opting to stay back by the window, Casey planting himself by her side as he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes shooting daggers into the back of Bryan's head.
If Boden had any objections to them staying in the back of the room, he didn't voice them, the older man clearing his throat before his compassionate eyes landed on the paramedic, seeing her gaze focused on the ground. "Dawson…" He prompted, Gabby lifting her head up to look at him. "I'm sure you know why I called you all in here… And, first and foremost, I just want to apologize for what was allowed to take place today. I wasn't there, but after talking to a few people-"
"You talked to Shay," Walker cut in bitterly, Boden's eyes narrowing towards the man, "Like she's gonna give you an accurate version of what actually happened."
"We talked about this Walker, if I were you, I'd be very careful about the next words that come out of your mouth." Boden snapped, Bryan taking a deep breath before sinking into his chair, the Chief's eyes softening as he looked back to Gabby. "As I was saying Dawson, I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry for what was said to you, and about you… Things should've been handled better, and I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Chief." She responded, clearing her throat. "It's not your fault, and I'm fine." She added, Boden nodding slowly as he took a deep breath.
Boden opened his mouth to continue, but was cut off by the sound of the bells going off, 61 being called out to a car accident a few blocks away. Dawson pushed herself off the back wall, catching a quick smile from Matt before she looked towards Boden, silently waiting for permission to be excused.
"Go ahead, Dawson." He instructed, Gabby giving him a nod before slipping out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
Once Gabby was gone, it was as if all of Matt's rage and anger towards the man in front of him reappeared, Casey clenching his hands together behind his back to keep himself from punching Walker in the face.
"Well, that's probably for the best, anyway…" Boden murmured, Chief nodding at Matt to come forward, Casey reluctantly walking towards the desk, standing behind the vacant seat next to Walker. "Now, Casey, I've already reprimanded Walker for everything, and while I understand your heart was in the right place, you also need to handle yourself better in situations like this." Boden spoke, Casey nodding slowly. "You're a Lieutenant, it's your job to remain level-headed. I need to know you can still do that."
"Understood, sir. I'm sorry for how I handled things, I know I should have pulled him aside instead of doing that in front of the house." Casey responded, Boden giving him a nod as he took a deep breath.
The Chief understood exactly why Casey had done what he did. And truthfully, Boden would've done the exact same thing in that situation. He knew why Casey reacted the way he had, and he didn't blame him for it, but as his boss, he couldn't just ignore it. Casey was in a position of leadership at this house, he had to set an example for his firefighters, and having a screaming match in the middle of the firehouse wasn't exactly what Boden liked to see from his Lieutenant. But as a man, he understood it. And he'd never fault him for protecting Dawson the way he had.
"Now, I think it goes without saying that all of this could have been avoided had you handled yourself better, Walker." Boden started, Casey seeing his firefighter's body tense out of the corner of his eye. "I've tried to be patient. I've tried to be understanding, but I'm tired of having this conversation with you. I told you after that stunt you pulled with Dawson in the showers that you were on a very short leash, and now it's gotten even shorter." He spoke roughly, Bryan's fists clenching in his lap. "I know the news of Dawson and Casey's relationship must have come as a shock to you, which is the only reason you're not packing your bags right now. But this is your final warning. If you can't get your act together, if you do anything like this to Dawson again, you're gone… Is that clear?" His voice was rigid, frustration evident in Boden's words as he stared down the firefighter, Walker giving a short, reluctant nod.
"Yes sir." He responded quickly, Boden's harsh glare never lifting, Matt glancing down towards the firefighter. Casey could tell that he was angry, that there was probably a lot he was wanting to say, but he didn't, Walker remaining quiet.
"There have been too many issues since things between you and Dawson ended, all of which have been caused by you-"
"Chief…"
"I'm not one to get involved in the personal lives of my firefighters," Boden cut him off, "but you have brought it into this firehouse. If my memory serves me correctly, you broke up with her. And ever since, you have been causing problems for Dawson. From what I can tell, she's trying to move on with her life, she has moved on with her life," Boden spoke, sparing a quick glance at Casey. "And you have an issue with it." He said firmly, Matt taking a deep breath as he saw Walker shift in his seat, the man clearly becoming more and more agitated. "I've given you more than enough chances, I've given you plenty of warnings. If anything happens again. You're gone."
Slowly, Walker nodded, Boden seeing a fire burning in the man's eyes, but to his credit, Bryan said nothing. He merely sat there and took everything the Chief had thrown at him.
"Now, as long as you can assure me that you'll leave Dawson alone, you're dismissed… If you can't, I think it would be best if you went home early." Boden said, his deep voice rough as Walker straightened his spine, the man shaking his head.
"There will be no more problems, Chief." He replied firmly, Boden pursing his lips together before nodding towards the door.
"Good… You can go."
Walker was out of the seat in a split second, the man taking long strides to get to the door, opening it and leaving without another word, Matt watching for a few seconds as Bryan stomped down the hallway, Casey sighing before glancing back towards Boden, seeing an unreadable expression over his face.
"...So I take it that's not exactly how you all planned on sharing the news." Boden spoke, Casey shaking his head as he hunched over slightly, his palms gripping the back of the chair.
"No, it definitely wasn't." Casey responded with a sigh, running his tongue along his bottom lip. "Gabby wanted to tell Walker first, she felt like she owed it to him, or owed it the relationship they had, to tell him before everyone else. But yeah, he didn't take it well." He huffed out, his knuckles turning white from the strong grip he had on the furniture, Boden releasing a heavy breath.
"Is Dawson really okay?" Boden questioned, Matt catching his gaze. "I mean, Shay pretty much filled me in on everything he said, and I just-... Is she alright?"
Casey could hear the concern and compassion in Boden's voice, the Lieutenant giving him a nod as he stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest. "She's alright, Chief." Matt replied, but Boden looked less than convinced. "...I promise, she'll be okay. I've got her." Casey added, the Chief smiling softly before he nodded.
"I'm glad she has you, Casey." Boden responded, Matt's eyebrows raising slightly, knowing by the tone in his voice that there was more coming. "Truly, I am… But I need to know that you can still do your job here." He continued, the Lieutenant swallowing thickly. "That this issue with Walker, and your relationship with Dawson… that you can remain composed, and be a Lieutenant first when the situation warrants it." The Chief continued, knowing he could speak more freely with Casey now that Walker wasn't in the room. "I know what happened today… I don't think anyone was expecting that, but I need to know that you can handle this situation professionally." Boden finished, keeping a close eye on his Lieutenant.
He knew Casey, nor Dawson, were really the problem here, but he still needed to have this talk with him. Regardless of being right or wrong, Casey had to be able to keep his cool, and both of them knew it.
"I promise that I'll handle things professionally with all of this… Dawson and I don't want this to become an issue, we really don't."
"I know that." Boden assured him, Matt giving him a nod.
"I know how I spoke to Walker wasn't really how a Lieutenant should act, I understand that, and hopefully it won't be a problem anymore… But if he goes after her like that again, I can't promise I won't handle it the same way I did today." Casey replied honestly, Boden pursing his lips together. "I can't promise you I won't speak to him like that again, because he needs to understand that's not okay... She didn't deserve that, Chief." He breathed out, Boden's face softening as he gave a slight nod.
"No, she didn't." He agreed, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek, Matt taking a deep breath before continuing.
"So I can promise you that I can remain professional as long as he doesn't give me a reason not to." Casey clarified, Boden's eyebrows raising slightly. "Professionally, I have no issue with Walker, so as long as he leaves Dawson alone, him and I should have no problems. Gabby and I have been together for awhile now, the house knowing doesn't really change anything for us… We'll act the same way we always have. But if Walker attacks her like that again, I won't just stand there and do nothing." Matt spoke his voice firm as he met Boden's gaze. "I know that probably isn't what you want to hear, but I can't promise you anything else." He added, Boden sighing softly before shaking his head.
"No, I get it, I do… And you shouldn't." He replied, Matt breathing slowly as his eyebrows raised slightly. "As your Chief, I needed to have this talk with you, but I also know I can't ask you to completely put your relationship aside in a situation like this… But hopefully, it won't be a problem anymore." Boden spoke, Casey giving him a nod. "As long as you can continue to work with Walker without any issues…"
"Like I said, professionally, I have no problems with him. I'll treat him the same way I always have, as long as he can respect that." Casey assured his boss, Boden nodding in response.
"Alright, that's all I needed to know." Boden replied. "You're free to go, Casey." He instructed, Matt giving him a nod before heading for the door, the Lieutenant knowing this was just the first of many conversations he'd be having today about his relationship with Gabby.
"Thanks Chief." He spoke, the older man giving him a soft smile before Casey slid out of the room, closing the door behind him as he began the walk back towards the common room. He knew everyone in the room was bound to have tons of questions, and considering Casey knew Gabby was still out on her call, he figured this was the best time to confront them. He meant what he told her, he would handle all the questions anyone had about their relationship, Matt knowing it would be easier on her if she didn't have to go through and explain everything, especially after what all Walker had said to her.
He wanted to answer whatever questions they had, to the best of his ability, but even more so, he didn't want any confusion on how, or when, their relationship started. Matt knew this was all a shock, but he wanted everyone to be on the same page. And hopefully once they were, the surprise would wear off and him and Gabby would be able to just be themselves.
As he got closer to the common room, Casey looked through the windows from the hallway, quickly noticing that Walker was nowhere in sight in the room, which Matt couldn't help but be thankful for. With Walker there, he knew the man would be combative, and it would be that much harder to answer all their questions without any gray area.
Blowing out a sigh, Casey walked around the corner, his steps slowing as he came into the entrance of the room, most eyes on him the second he came into view. From what he could tell, pretty much everyone, aside from Bryan, was in here, Matt pursing his lips together as he caught Herrmann's gaze.
"Is Dawson alright?" The older man asked, Matt's eyebrows raising slightly, it taking him a minute to find his voice as he was a bit thrown by the question, Casey not expecting that to be the first thing anyone would have asked. But, considering this house, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised.
"She's okay." He replied, clearing his throat as he stepped further into the room, coming to stand by the end of the long table, everyone watching him as he leaned his weight into the furniture, seeing a wary look in the older man's eyes. "She'll be fine, Herrmann." He repeated, the firefighter reluctantly nodding before he ducked his head.
Once Herrmann had looked away, Casey's gaze moving around the room, seeing everyone now looking away from him; everyone except for Severide, all of them clearly unsure what to say to him. Drawing in a deep breath, Casey ran his hand over his mouth, swallowing thickly as he shook his head. "Alright guys, ask away." He spoke up, his words gaining the attention of the room. "I know you all have questions, so go ahead." Casey prompted, seeing a few hesitant stares, a couple of the guys glancing between one another. "Now's your chance, because after today we're not having this conversation again. So what do you want to know?" Casey said one last time, catching the almost amused look on Severide's face, Matt giving him a pointed stare before he continued glancing around, his eyebrows raised expectantly.
No one was really sure what to say, not until Herrmann eventually spoke up, the older firefighter clearing his throat. "...How long have you two been together?" He asked, Matt clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"A little over six weeks." He answered, seeing immediate looks of confusion covering some of their faces.
"Then why was Walker saying-"
"Gabby and I met before I came to work here." Casey clarified, cutting Otis off. "But Walker didn't know that until today, so when Gabby told him, he assumed she'd cheated on him with me, but she didn't. We didn't." Matt told them, earning a few nods from around the room. "We never met until after they were broken up, there was no overlap at all."
"But you all didn't start dating when you met?" Cruz asked, Casey shaking his head. "How did it happen?"
Matt shrugged, ignoring the slight smirk he saw on Kelly's face. Severide obviously knew the situation, but the full version of events wasn't something Casey felt comfortable sharing; it was no one's business, so he would tell them what he could. "We were just friends." He replied simply, Kelly biting back a chuckle. "We didn't get off to the best start, I'll admit that, but we slowly became friends, and got closer I guess… And then we eventually just realized how we truly felt about one another." Casey finished, doing his best to not sound too cheesy, but he didn't know how else to describe it, because that's exactly what happened.
"It took them forever." Severide cut in, Herrmann raising his eyebrows as he looked away from Casey, turning back towards the counter where the squad Lieutenant was standing.
"You knew they liked each other before they did?" He asked, Kelly chuckling before giving him a nod.
"Oh, absolutely." He replied quickly, his light words easing some of the awkward feeling in the room, Casey shaking his head with a soft grin. "They were terrible at hiding it, even if they didn't realize their own feelings. But, you know, they're both stubborn as hell." He added, multiple laughs being heard around the room.
"Yeah, I can see that." Herrmann replied with a chuckle, Severide nodding in agreement.
"It was infuriating, at times. I swear, I thought Shay was just gonna lock them in a room one day until they figured their shit out." Severide spoke, his words earning more laughs. "She had no patience for them trying to get there on their own."
"Shay's never been the patient type." Cruz added, everyone in the room knowing that was true.
"Yeah, she's definitely not." Casey agreed, Herrmann glancing towards him, Matt seeing a look of hesitation flash in his eyes, like there was a question on the tip of his tongue. When they locked gazes, Casey raised his eyebrows, silently prompting him to say whatever he was wondering, the older firefighter drawing in a deep breath before speaking up.
"...Why didn't you two say anything sooner?" He asked, the room having quieted back down, Matt feeling all eyes on him as Herrmann spoke. "I mean, we would've been happy for you guys. We are happy, even if we're a little shocked, I guess… But why did you wait so long to tell us?" He questioned, Matt pursing his lips together as he breathed deeply, trying to figure out how to best answer this question, Casey knowing he had to be careful.
"It wasn't because of you all," Casey started, the man glancing towards the doors to the garage before looking back to the room, catching a few curious stares. "But Gabby just needed time to be able to tell Walker." Herrmann's face softened, the older man nodding in understanding. "Which, as you all saw, didn't go over well…" He sighed, shaking his head before running his hand over his mouth, knowing he couldn't let his anger towards Walker affect him, the Lieutenant unsure of how everyone felt towards the firefighter now. Casey knew when he first got here that everyone absolutely loved Walker, and that, aside from Shay, Gabby seemed to be on her own around here a little bit. Though that dynamic had changed in the months since he'd joined 51, he knew a lot of people here still saw Walker as a friend, and he didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. "Look... I know this might put you all in a weird position, with Walker and everything. I know you guys are his friends, but Gabby and I did nothing wrong." Casey spoke firmly, everyone in the room hanging on his every word. "And I know Walker's upset over this, which is an issue we don't need to get into, but Gabby and are happy… We're not doing this to hurt anyone, or to spite anyone. We're together because we love each other, and are happy with one another, it has nothing to do with anyone else." Casey told them, catching Severide's supportive gaze. "And the reason we even waited so long was because of Walker, because Gabby needed time, but her and I are happy. And we'd love for you guys to be happy for us."
"We are." Herrmann repeated, Matt seeing some agreeing nods from around the room. "We are happy for you guys, of course we are."
"We just want you guys to be happy." Cruz voiced, Casey shooting him a thankful smile.
"And yeah, it was a shock to hear about you two... I don't want to get involved in things that don't concern me, but it's good that you two are happy." Herrmann added, Casey watching him closely. "You both deserve something good after all you've gone through."
Herrmann's sincere words hit Casey harder than he anticipated, the truck Lieutenant smiling softly before he gave the man a nod. "Thank you, Herrmann… All of you, thank you. I'm sorry you found out the way you did, but thank you for supporting us."
"Of course, Lieutenant." Otis chimed in.
Their conversation got interrupted by the bells going off, both truck and squad being called to an apartment fire, everyone jumping into action as they pushed aside the conversation they'd just had, knowing they couldn't afford to be focused on that while they were about to go to work. But Casey would be lying if he said he didn't feel like there was a giant weight that had been lifted off his chest, the Lieutenant feeling much lighter now that everyone knew just how much Gabby meant to him.
Dawson took a deep breath as she closed her locker, swinging her shift bag over her shoulder, her body exhausted from the long shift they'd had. Ever since the call that had disrupted her talk with Boden, the entire house had been in and out throughout the rest of the afternoon, and most of the night as well, it seemingly a never-ending cycle of calls. On one hand, Gabby had appreciated it, because it kept her busy and kept her mind off things, but on the other hand, she was beyond tired, her body moving on autopilot as she began walking out of the locker room, heading towards the bunk area.
With the constant revolving door of who was out on calls during their shift, Gabby hadn't been able to see too much of anyone, aside from Shay, meaning she hadn't really had the chance to speak with most of them about her and Casey's relationship. It had been hours after they originally found out before Gabby saw any of the firefighters again, but, to their credit, they had treated her just as they always had. Although she had a feeling that Matt had a large part to do with that, that he had spoken with them at some point throughout the day and answered all their questions so she wouldn't have to deal with any of that. And everyone had treated her normally whenever they saw her. It was like nothing had changed, and she was beyond grateful for that. In fact the only thing that had changed was that Shay had now taken to teasing her more in public than before, much to the amusement of everyone in the firehouse, as well as Gabby not feeling like she had to shy away from Matt. They hadn't seen each other much, but when they did, Gabby didn't have to worry about whether or not they were being too close, or that they were too obvious; they could just be themselves, and regardless of what had happened earlier in the shift, she felt relieved because of it.
Aside from what had happened with Walker, the house seemed to handle finding out about her and Matt's relationship well, whatever original awkwardness and confusion she was sure was present in the beginning long gone by the time she saw them. No one was treating them any differently, and, as Herrmann had told her when he pulled her aside during dinner, he was glad they were happy.
And that was all she wanted. Was for everyone to know about her and Matt's relationship, and for them to be okay with it.
If they hadn't been, it wouldn't have changed anything for her and Matt, of course it wouldn't have, but it would've made things harder. It would've been an added challenge to navigate their relationship at work, and that was something she really didn't want. But luckily, everyone had been more than okay with it, or if they weren't, they were keeping it to themselves. As far as she could tell, everyone had been supportive of her and Matt.
Everyone except the one person she knew wouldn't be okay with it.
Gabby knew Walker would be angry, she had expected that. But she hadn't expected him to be so… hurtful. Maybe it was naive of her, but she wasn't expecting the terrible words he'd said to her. How he demeaned their relationship, their engagement, to nothing more than him keeping her around for sex.
But for as awful as he'd been to her in that moment, he hadn't said a word to her since then. She hadn't even really seen him too often the rest of shift, but when she did, he wouldn't even look her way. He had listened to Boden, and left her alone.
And she could only hope things would stay that way.
As she turned the corner into the bunk room, Gabby blew out a sigh when she saw Casey's office empty, the paramedic pursing her lips together before beginning the walk towards the exit. She wasn't sure where her boyfriend was, but she'd been hoping she could find him before she left, Gabby not having seen him for a few hours. Figuring he might've been in with Boden, Gabby decided to just go ahead and head out, knowing she could call him in a bit and maybe make some plans for later today or tomorrow.
Walking through the garage, Gabby kept a tight grip on the bag over her shoulder, giving soft smiles to any of third shift's firefighters she passed along the way as she continued to her car, the paramedic moving down the driveway.
As she got closer to the sidewalk, her car came into view, a soft grin forming across her lips when she noticed a certain firefighter leaning against her drivers side door, Gabby walking around the back of her vehicle.
Matt glanced to her when he noticed her presence, the Lieutenant smiling wide as she got closer, Gabby coming to a stop directly in front of him. "Funny running into you here." He spoke first, Gabby shaking her head as a light scoff escaped her lips.
"At my car? Oh, I'm sure." She responded, earning a laugh from her boyfriend as he grabbed ahold of her hand, his other grabbing her shift bag, gently pulling it off her shoulder. Giving his hand a squeeze, Gabby took another step towards him, placing her free hand on his chest.
"How are you doing?" He asked softly, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. The times he'd seen her since their talk in his office, she seemed to be doing alright, but with their busy day, they hadn't had a moment to really talk more about everything. And he knew Gabby was very good at masking her emotions when she felt like she needed to, so around the house, he knew she could put on a bit of a front. But she didn't need to with him, so now that it was just them, he hoped he could get a better read on her.
"I'm… I'm okay." She responded, Matt raising his eyebrows slightly. "I mean, I don't know-" She cut herself off, drawing in a deep breath, Matt pulling her closer to him as he stood up straight. "That stuff with Walker… I'm really just trying not to think about it right now, if I'm being honest." She admitted, Casey holding his tongue as he gave her a nod.
"Alright… But you know you can talk to me." He reminded her, a small smile forming across her face.
"I know, and I will." She told him, Matt giving her hand another squeeze. "But right now all I really want to do is take a nap."
Casey raised his eyebrows, Gabby rubbing her hand along his chest lightly, Matt matching her smile. "Well, I think a nap sounds perfect." He replied, Gabby cocking her head to the side. "...Would you like some company?" He questioned, watching as her nose scrunched up adorably.
"I would love some." She responded softly, Matt grinning as he leaned forward, capturing her lips in a quick, gentle kiss before they pulled apart, Casey moving to put her bag in the back seat.
"Your place?" He asked as he shut the door, Gabby opening hers as Matt came to stand beside her, the paramedic giving him a nod.
"That's fine." She replied, Matt nodding before giving her another peck.
"I'll meet you over there?" Casey questioned as he began walking backwards, his truck parked on the other side of the driveway.
Gabby nodded, giving him a little salute in response, Matt chuckling softly before he continued walking. "I love you." She spoke, her chest filling with warmth when she saw the wide grin form over his face.
"I love you, too." He replied proudly, giving her one last nod before he turned around, continuing towards his truck, but Gabby didn't let him get very far before her voice stopped him once more.
"Hey Matt?" She called, Casey turning around, that same smile still plastered on his face.
"Hmm?"
"You were wrong, by the way."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Gabby seeing immediate uncertainty cover his face, the paramedic running her tongue along the inside of her cheek before she continued.
"What you said yesterday, about how I'm settling for you…" She elaborated, seeing realization wash over him. "That's not true." His face softened at her words, Gabby shaking her head slightly, her hand resting on the door frame as he watched her with a soft smile. "...You are the best man I've ever known, Matt Casey."
The look that covered his face was enough to make her fall in love with him all over again, Matt running his teeth over his bottom lip, unable to stop his smile from widening.
"I just wanted to make sure you knew that."
Without another word, Casey walked back towards her, Gabby watching his every movement as he came up to her, grabbing her face with her hands, pulling her in for a heated, emotion-filled kiss. Gabby melted into him instantly, her hands resting on his waist as she got lost in him, Matt keeping his hands on her cheeks.
When air became a priority, they pulled back, Gabby's chest heaving as she bit down on her bottom lip, suddenly remembering where they were, Matt stroking his thumb over her skin. It took a few moments for her to regain her breathing, but once she did, she leaned forward, pressing a much more tame kiss to his lips, feeling him smile against her.
"So… are you ready for that nap, now?" She asked, Matt chuckling as he nodded, kissing her again before having to force himself away from her, knowing he'd never leave if he didn't. "I'll see you back at my place in a few minutes."
"See you soon." He replied, giving her one last smile before continuing towards his truck, Gabby watching him, waiting until he got to his vehicle before she climbed into her own, the paramedic eager to get back to her apartment and enjoy the day with her boyfriend. He was all she needed right now, Gabby wanting nothing more than to go and immerse herself in nothing but him for a few hours.