Chapter Thirty-Two: Solitude
The wind gave one final shutter through Silvia's hair, pushing it back like a golden cape to match Superman's. The window to Clark's apartment was open, the white curtains blowing in whichever direction the afternoon air wished it to. Superman carefully entered, his boots touching the carpet just as Silvia's did.
His apartment was right at the top of the complex over top of an abandoned alley. It was the kind of place that made it very difficult to be caught entering through the window. She supposed that he needed that with him being one of the most talked about people in the world. A picture of him was worth hundreds, his identity was surely worth thousands... maybe millions.
"You did well, Sil." Clark said with a smile that could light up any darkness.
"If you saw me earlier you wouldn't be saying that." Silvia replied sheepishly.
Clark shook his head, a chuckle sounding from his throat. "Yeah, Bruce told me about that. No one can blame you, the Watchtower would be a nightmare for anyone afraid of heights."
"You were at the Watchtower?"
"I was passing by." Clark answered. "I wanted to see how you were."
Silvia's lips formed an 'o' and she glanced down to the ground guiltily. "I'm sorry... You had the whole world to worry about, you shouldn't have had to be concerned about me."
Clark's finger grazed under her chin and gently tilted her face back up to look at him. "Silvia... You are my world." He stared at her adoringly, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Now, turn around for me."
Silvia's heart felt so full at his words. He made her question every promise she ever made to herself. He made her open up when she didn't even want to let herself in. He helped her to breathe when she didn't want to anymore and he helped her see that it's okay to fall in love. Silvia's mouth melted into a smile of awe and she turned, not bothering to express her curiosity.
She felt something being placed around her neck and quickly glanced down to see the familiar sparkling jewel of the necklace Clark had given her before. She gasped at the sight, hand instantly reaching up to grip it protectively.
"But Clark!" Silvia said in a surprised tone, spinning back around to face him. "Bruce said-"
"Forget what he said. I gave it to you; it's yours. I should've told you this before...but I wanted you to make up your own mind. That crystal holds the work of a great kryptonian scientist named Jor-El...my father. His research into kryptonian medicine included an in-dept deconstructive analysis on our people's physiology. With that kind of data, my enemies could learn what makes me tick. They could find weaknesses I don't even know about yet."
Silvia shivered. "Then please take it back! It's too important to be giving to me..."
"I have no doubt that it's safest with someone like you." Clark stepped closer to her, eyes sparkling down at her. "Sil, I don't just trust you with my own life. I trust you with my people's."
Her silvery blue eyes looked as if an ocean had been encased inside of small glass marbles. "Oh, Clark..." Then the smooth spheres appeared to be cracked; the ocean had started to leak, little water droplets streamed down Silvia's pale cheeks. She was so touched that holding back her tears felt impossible.
She didn't know how to thank him for trusting her or show her gratitude in any vocal way. So, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to shorten the height difference, and pressed her lips against his. Tears still fell freely from her and her lips quivered against him.
When he finally kissed her back, everything went oddly quiet, like the moment of silence between lightning and thunder. They kissed again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It stole her breath and gave it back to her all at once. It showed her that every other kiss she'd had in her life had been wrong. She was only ever meant to kiss this man and no one else.
She was everywhere up his back and over his arms and suddenly she was kissing him harder, deeper, with a fervent urgent need she'd never known before. Silvia wanted more... and she could have it now, right? There were no more secrets between them. Her fingers travelled down to his chest, moving over the symbol on his chest.
Silvia parted from his lips, hovering only inches away so that when she spoke their lips would almost touch again. "As good as you look in that costume... How exactly do I take it off?"
Clark froze. His eyes were shut tighter than Silvia's were when they were flying. He looked almost pained when he softly pushed away from her. His exhale was heavy, shaky almost. "I'm sorry, we... can't."
Silvia's brow furrowed. "Why not? I get that your morals stopped you before because I didn't know who you are, but now?"
The man looked a little reluctant to answer and so he glanced over at the clock that's ticking suddenly seemed a lot louder than before. "It should be on in a minute... I'll have to show you."
He walked towards the television perched up in his living room and switched it on. He flicked through a few channels before stopping on the news. There was a woman sitting at a desk but Silvia couldn't hear what she was saying until Clark unmuted it.
"NASA has provided us with some incredible footage this afternoon of Superman's startling deflection of the comet 49f's intercept course of Earth." Her voice was smooth and controlled, just like everyone else in her profession. "Recorded by the HERMES-3 orbital satellite, the video shows the Man of Steel ramming head first into the comet, which was measured at approximately two point seven by two point five miles and was traveling at an incredible eighty four thousand miles per hour."
The image flicked to another, of a glowing blue ball speeding to Earth. Silvia blinked and Superman was there, pushing the giant icy rock off course. 'Incredible' was certainly the word for it. The rock was unbelievably large, so much so that Superman was a speck against it, and it was spiralling with such force that Superman's strength was suddenly a lot more real. It was almost confronting.
Superman turned the television back off and looked at her hesitantly. He appeared a little afraid that she'd be scared of him. "That wasn't even my full strength. That asteroid was like a light workout for me... Even though I was poisoned it was no challenge."
Silvia bit her lip but nodded all the same. "I get it. You hold back because you'll hurt me if you don't."
"Silvia..." Clark said, agony in his voice. "I'll kill you if I don't."
Silvia took in a shivering breath. She wasn't sure whether to be horrified or heartbroken.
Clark averted his gaze to the ground in shame, his jaw clenched and his teeth set in a growl. "Even sleeping in the same bed with you is a risk. If I move the wrong way I could decapitate you or break every bone in your body, if I'm kissing you and I hold you too tightly I could crush you. It would all be so easy for me... Too easy. I have to think about every single little movement. I have to be precise and clear-headed, if we go too far I might lose control."
Now she knew exactly how to feel. Her heart broke for the man. All this time it had been a daily struggle just to touch her without killing her. She rushed over to him, hand reaching out to caress his cheek warmly. She gave him a reassuring smile. "It's okay, I understand. I'm sorry if I came off a little pushy."
"No, you shouldn't be sorry. It's a normal part of a relationship. You have every right to question me on it." He sighed, tucking a strand of blond hair out of Silvia's face. "It's just that I love you... so much and I would never forgive myself if I ever put you at risk."
Silvia felt her heart skip. A dark blush spread across her face, as crimson as Superman's cape. "Y-You do? I... love you too."
Clark instantly seemed to brighten up. "Oh yeah? Since when?" He teased.
"I-I'm not really sure..." She stuttered in embarrassment.
Clark wrapped his arms around her waist as carefully as he always did and held her close. "Well, I never thought I'd hear those words from you." His chuckle found air but was quickly muffled by guilt. "Still... I'm sorry about all this. I know being with me wont exactly be normal."
"It's alright, you're just worried about me. I can't exactly be mad at you for that... but have you ever tried?"
Clark shifted uncomfortably. "Yes... Every girl I've been with has been bothered by it. I could see how miserable they were, and I was too, so I tried but..."
"You hurt them?"
"No I stopped before I could, but if I had kept going I would have."
Silvia buried her head in his chest, "I'm so sorry, Clark... Does that mean you've never...?"
"Not exactly." His voice sounded a little hesitant now but he answered regardless."I... Diana and I..."
Diana?! How was she meant to compete with Wonder Woman?! Silvia's muscles tensed in his grasp. "O-Oh."
"I regretted it as soon as I'd done it. It went against everything I believed to sleep with her without any romantic feeling towards her... but I was vulnerable and holding back is almost maddening sometimes."
Silvia cleared her throat, hoping that her voice would come out in more than a squeak. "It's alright, we don't have to talk about it anymore." She pulled away from him, forcing a smile onto her face. "Why don't you go get us Mexican instead? Since I'm not allowed to have you and all. Plus I'm hungry. Really hungry. I mean, two burritos, four tacos and a plate of nachos hungry."
It was obvious that she was trying to lighten the mood, and to take Clark's mind off of it. For that he was grateful. She was the first that didn't instantly question their relationship because of his anxiety surrounding the act. He opened his mouth to agree but a scream reached his ears before he could.
Clark spun around to stare at the window. He didn't need to say anything for Silvia to understand. "Well?" She said without a shred of disappointment. "What are you waiting for? Go save the day, Dorothy."
Clark glanced over his shoulder. He nodded and within seconds he was gone. Silvia was left alone in his apartment... which was honestly a bit of a blessing. Not only did he have a much bigger television than hers, and his cabinets were full of food.
Silvia had not only eaten tons of the chips he had stashed away but she also found a tub of cookie dough ice cream in the freezer. The only down side was that any movie Clark owned was way before her time... Gone with the Wind, A Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations, Romeo and Juliet, The Wizard of Oz, Waterloo Bridge, Vertigo, A Streetcar Named Desire, and many more that were made decades ago. Anything aside from that was popular romances like The Titanic and The Notebook, which looked like it had been watched very often.
Silvia had attempted to watch one of them but was so bored that she ended up just flicking to the regular T.V channels. Luckily, The Godfather was playing on one of them. By the time it finished Clark still hadn't returned...and the sickening worry started up again.
Time dragged on. Minutes felt like hours and hours seemed like days. Even into the early morning she couldn't sleep. Silvia was starting to think that she could go out looking for him when he finally flew through the window. He looked a little surprised that she was still awake.
"Sil, I'm so sorry. There was a mass-scale breakout. I had to find all of the prisoners and arrest them again."
Silvia quickly wiped her eyes and sniffled, running over to embrace him. "It's okay... I'm just glad you're alright."
Clark could hear the hitch in her voice and felt terrible that he was the one that had created such a heartbreaking sound. "You didn't sign up for this... You wanted Clark. You wanted someone normal. I won't hold it against you if you change your mind about us... It'll never be easy."
Silvia blinked up at him in surprise. "Clark... I chose you. Whether you're wearing the costume or not, it doesn't change the man I love. Besides, I was never a big fan of 'easy'."
A grateful, adoring expression lifted onto the man's face and replaced all tiredness. "Well, since you know everything else about me I should probably elaborate on it."
"Elaborate?"
He tightened his grip around her waist and in an instant they were hovering above the ground. "As long as you're up for another trip."
Her shoulders slumped but she appeared at least a little more open to the idea than before. "Just try not to drop me and I think I can handle it."
"I would never."
The sky was still dark when they left but a few trickles of the suns rays were starting to pierce through the horizon. The most notable change the further they went was the weather. It was becoming absolutely freezing, below any temperature she could handle. Silvia felt like she was back on that reporting trip to the ice caps... and maybe she was. The ground was completely white, a mixture of snow and ice.
The only thing preventing Silvia from developing severe frostbite was the heat radiating from Clark's body. She felt the urge to ask why they were so far away from Metropolis before he flew them into an opening in a glacier.
In less than a second she saw the ice merge with solid metal around them. This tunnel continued for a minute, then opened into a gigantic ice cavern that was almost as big as a football field. In the middle of this chamber was a statue of a man and a woman holding a large orb above them. They both wore Superman's 'S' shield on their odd clothes. The statue was roughly 20 metres tall at the top of the orb.
"This is my home away from home."
Silvia's mouth was wide open as Clark landed in front of the statue and gently set her down by his side. One arm wrapped around Silvia, he smiled warmly at the statue. "I wanted to honour my birth parents and the planet I came from... I wanted to be able to look at them without using a hologram."
"You...built that?"
Clark smirked and quipped "You sound impressed."
"It's...beautiful." Silvia muttered, still studying every intricate detail that Clark carved into the immense sculpture.
"Come on, I wanna show you something." Clark said playfully, taking Silvia's hand and guiding her to a corridor to the left of the statue of his parents.
Silvia joked "It has to be something pretty cool to top that statue."
On the way, Silvia was bewildered by dozens of trinkets and whatnot in glass cabinets. Well, Silvia thought that they were glass...they could've been anything from what she knew. There were also strange alien animals held in spacious areas behind a similar glass-like material... "What...the fuck...?" Silvia mumbled. "What the hell kind of place is this...?"
"Bare with me, will you?" Clark replied, continuing to lead her somewhere.
Before too long, the two arrived before a metal door shaped like the 'S' shield. Silvia leaned onto Clark's shoulder. "Gee, you really like the letter S don't you?"
"It was my birth family's crest, thank you very much."
"Gee your family really liked the letter S, didn't they?" A blue beam of light erupted from a slit on the door and focused on Clark's eyes, like it was a retinal scanner. While it did its thing, Silvia suddenly realised something that urged her to interrupt Clark before he could say something clever. "Wait...so its just a coincidence that it looks like an S?"
"Yeah. I'm sure glad Lois came up with 'Superman' for the paper the day I debuted. Would've been confusing if it didn't start with S."
The door then creaked and slid apart, splitting the insignia on it. From beyond, rays of red light poured out. Clark and Silvia stepped inside, prompting the door to shut behind them. Silvia's eyes adjusted to the strange bright red light, and eventually it all looked as normal as sunlight. Looking around, she spied rough rock formations, sprouting with blue vines and purple flora. The room was tennis court sized...and covered with strange plants and grass.
Sending her eyes to the ceiling, Silvia noticed that there were several lamps projecting that red light. "This is the Chamber of Rao...probably the closest thing to Krypton anyone will ever experience." Clark told Silvia softly. "It's named after Krypton's sun. It was a red sun, much older than Earth's one. These lights project the same kind of radiation, allowing these native plants to grow. Hal helped me track down some rare specimens in marketplaces across the universe."
Silvia inched towards a throbbing blue flower no bigger than a duck's egg and stared at it as it pulsated and shivered. As she tapped it with a finger, it expanded and opened, revealing several soft flailing tentacles.
"Kryptonians didn't have the abilities that I have. It all comes from Earth's young sun. It nourishes my cells and charges me up like a battery. So under red sunlight, I'm...human, basically."
Silvia sent her attention back to Clark. He flexed the fingers of his right hand as he looked at them. "Really...?" Silvia asked.
Clark lowered his hand. "Yeah."
"No, no...like...does that mean...we can...you know..." She stammered as she flashed back over to Clark and pressed herself against his chest.
It took Clark a full three seconds to understand what she was getting at. His brow immediately raised in surprise. "Oh. I...uh...never thought about it like that."
Silvia chuckled mischievously, running a finger along the outline of his jaw. "You're so innocent... Maybe we shouldn't after all. I'd hate to corrupt you."
"Too late for that." Suddenly, he held her further against him and bent his head to kiss her. She melted into him as his fingers tangled in her hair.
They molded together, fitted against one another with stunning perfection. Silvia had never felt as she did now, exploring the taste of him; watching him let go of his usual control and holding nothing back. Feeling the strength of his arms around her. Inhaling nutmeg and fresh air and soap. His scents. She felt as though she'd found a moment of forever. Like this was how they should've always been.
Silvia felt his lips against her shoulder, soft and scorching and tender, so gentle she could almost believe it was the kiss of a breeze and not a man. Then as he trailed to her neck he started applying a little more pressure. Silvia gasped, hands grasping tightly onto his arms.
Clark gave a sharp inhale. "S-Sil... You're stronger than me in here." He said breathlessly, and she could tell that he was finding it hard to form words in the midst of their passion. "You'll have to be careful with me this time."
An airy giggle left the girl's lips. "N-No promises." She said but loosened her grip on him anyway. Though Silvia was stronger than the average person, she was no where near the level of those with super-strength. To be gentle wouldn't take much effort, and she definitely wouldn't feel deprived of anything by doing so.
Clark would have retorted if his mind wasn't so foggy. He pushed her up against the wall, tasting the lingering flavor of ice cream on the blonde's tongue. He groaned low in his throat. Anything he had been suppressing came to the surface, dominating and raw. Every moment he had spent not worshipping her body he made up for, and he had never felt so close to anyone. He doubted that he ever would again if he was ever to lose her.