The barracks of Camp Farragut was no better than the outside jungle. It was hot, the people who ran the base didn't want to put up A/C's in the joint because they were scared of 'Overstretching' their fuel supply. Whatever the hell that meant.
Windows and doors were all open in the barracks where the soldiers slept. So that meant mosquitoes, spiders, wasps, and whatever other horrifying insect that could, found its way inside of the barracks.
"Just like fucking 'stan man!" Flint's voice pierced from the bathroom, "Fucking spiders, shit!"
Hezekiah looked towards Flint's sudden fit of rage, half-interested. Flint emerged from the bathroom with a squished spider the size of his face, hanging limp from between his fingers. It was a horrifying monster, almost pure black in color.
"Jesus Flint, where the hell did you find that?" He asked.
"The fuck do you mean where I found it? I didn't find him, this son of a bitch found me! Damn near bit my dick off when I was trying take a piss. Hiding under the sink, waiting for a victim…" Flint dumped the corpse into the trash and took a seat on top of his bunk bed. It was just the two of them inside of the bunk, for now. The rest of Misfit was out running random errands for their superiors, Cathy was on a business trip with a couple of the NATO generals, and that just left the two of them standing by.
The two had cleaned the entire room, fixed everyone's bed (Something Flint was keen on doing himself), they even went so far as to sweep and mop the entire place up and down. If an officer stepped in any second and found so much as a speck in the wrong place, it would be their ass on the wall.
"I thought that the Special Region was supposed to be a fantasy land or something," Flint said after he had taken a seat cracking open a bottle of water. He was ordered to abstain from the use of alcohol. Both he and Jay. Flint took it pretty hard, he wasn't a alcoholic, but he would rather be drunk than sober most of the time.
Hezekiah was pre-occupying himself filling out some boring paperwork Colonel Jeb had sent him, "What makes you say that?"
"I mean look at this place man. It's like Afghanistan out here. Except with magic. They replaced Al-Qaeda with the Communists, and they replaced everything else with magic."
"Nothing is ever perfect." Hezekiah muttered.
"This shit is nothing like what Japan went through when they came here. When they came, all the soldiers talked about was those half-cat, half-bunny women that they have. And all the 'good stuff'. Why do we get shit like this?" Flint continued to complain.
"Guess we got lucky."
"Lucky? what do you mean, lucky? If anything this is a curse."
"Maybe it's a good thing that we don't have the same situation Japan had. We don't want people like you having their way with the local women, now do we."
Flint put on a sarcastic face, "Ha-ha-ha, Squad leader. Very funny! Hilarious!"
"That wasn't a joke. That's just facts."
"Shut up man, I cant help it if I have a peculiar taste in the women I like."
"You liked Filo-"
"Shut the hell up man!"
Hezekiah chuckled, what a dumbass.
"I kinda just miss back home, y'know. Back in Brooklyn. I just want to relax. Go home. At least for one day. Where there aren't spiders that can devour an entire child whole. And air conditioning."
"I'm with you on that one brother. I'm tired. That's it, I just want to relax. And not deal with the Corps any more."
"Sometimes, you are a cool guy Hez. When you aren't acting like a bitch."
"Thank you?"
Bubba and Jay walked into the bunk together. Both of them were out of breath exhausted. Sweat trickling down their forehead's, Jay wheezing for air.
"What the hell happened to you two?" Flint asked as the two men took a seat on their bunks.
"Insubordination, that's what!" Said Bubba.
"Insubordination my ass, if Kovic tells me to do something I literally cannot do, I'm gonna tell him I won't." Jay said.
"Kovic got mad because Jay over here didn't want to clean out the bathrooms in the chow hall!" Bubba answered the question that was on Hezekiah's mind.
"Why didn't you just clean it?" Hezekiah asked.
"Have you seen the stalls there?" Jay told him. He sat down, panting, "Made us run twenty fucking laps around the base like this is bootcamp or something. Fuck Kovic man!"
"Oh there, there. Did Kovic hurt my little baby's feelings. Too bad." Hezekiah said.
Jay looked up at him with pleading eyes, "C'mon man! You're supposed to be on my side!"
Hezekiah ignored the statement he turned to Bubba, "What about you?"
"It was hot outside. Ain't no better in here."
"Fair enough. Take a seat boys. And relax, you are in safe hands now." Hezekiah said.
"You guys want to see a man-eating spider?" Flint asked moving towards the trashcan.
"Man eating? Let me see." Bubba asked as he perked up.
"Biggest son of a bitch I've ever seen, the size of my face." Flint looked into the trashcan. But then a frown formed on his face. He poked around in the can. There was only some paper and wrappers in there.
"What? Let me see the beast." Bubba asked.
"I'm looking for it. Could've sworn I put him in here. I put him in the trashcan right Hezekiah?" Flint asked.
"Yeah, I think so." Hezekiah looked over.
"He ain't here." Flint said.
"He ain't there?"
"Nah."
"How, He's dead right?"
"Right?"
"No I'm asking, is it dead?"
"I don't know, was it?"
"The fuck do you mean 'was it'? It's dead right?"
"I don't fucking know man!"
Hezekiah stood up, Bubba and Jay looked nervous.
"No, no, no, you aren't saying that muthafucker just up and crawled out of there?" Hezekiah looked into the can.
"I'm not saying he did, I'm not saying he didn't. I'm just saying he isn't here!"
"Well find him, dammit!"
What proceeded was the four men tearing the entire barracks apart looking for the tarantula that had managed to escape the trashcan. After about thirty minutes of looking with no hope, the four gave up.
"I don't know where he went. Son of bitch probably went off into the jungle." Flint sat down on his bed.
Jay looked up at him, "Flint…"
"Better out there than here. Amirite?" Flint asked.
"Flint…"
"what's up?"
"What is that on your neck?"
"What's what on my-" Flint felt his neck, but his hand didn't meet skin. He looked down.
The sound that soon erupted from Flint's voice was so high pitched that it would put a firecracker to shame. So loud that it would make a nuclear bomb sound like a fart. And so full of fear.
Flint immediately jumped up, yelling hysterically, screaming slurs, swear words, and other unsavoury things at the tarantula that managed to perch itself on his neck.
"YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, GET THIS SHIT OFF OF ME-" Flint took his shirt off panicking. He nearly blinded himself and slipped falling on the floor. Punching the air, kicking and spinning all on the floor, the spider was flung off Flint and made a dash on the floor.
"There he is! Get him!" Jay yelled out. Hezekiah had luckily grabbed the emptied trashcan and trapped the tarantula before it could get far. Jay and Bubba rushed over to help Hezekiah out, while Flint was still on the floor.
"There! Finally, help me lift this can up." Jay and Bubba helped Hezekiah flip the can over and move outside the barracks. When they came back they realized the barracks was a mess. All the work Hezekiah and Flint had done to clean it up was undone because of one spider.
"Aw shit, now we have to clean the whole place again." Hezekiah sighed.
"Don't worry, we'll help yo-" Bubba was cut off by the sound of a door opening. Kovic walked inside of the barracks. He immediately stopped in the doorway.
Kovic looked around the room, at the destruction inside. He damn near threw up, "Who the hell is responsible for this?"
The four men looked at each other. They all raised their hands. "Jay, I already had enough of you this morning! But you three, your asses are mine. Outside, right now." Hezekiah, Bubba and Flint stood up to receive what ever disciplinary action Kovic had in mind. Jay just sat and watched.
The hot Boudica Wetlands and jungle was proving to be a much larger challenge than NATO had previously anticipated. The Boudica Free Militia was growing as NATO airstrikes kept displacing more civilians. NATO was in fact losing more ground to the BFM than ever, and so too were Russo-Iscariots and the Communist Guerillas. For now the BFM was winning the fight for supremacy over the jungle. The Russo-Iscariots have mostly faded out of the jungle as the Russians decided to consolidate their forces more in the heartlands of the continent, and the Communists didn't have enough support to keep on fighting.