All The Things I Hate About You, Part XXIV

Rating: M

Summary: All The Things, continued. Kate Advent, Day 24.

#24 You are insufferably practical

"So," Theo drawled, setting down a new bottle of fire whiskey on the table as well as two crystal glasses. "What happened next?"

Draco sighed, running his hand over his face and dragging it down his mouth heavily. He knocked back the first glass quickly, then the second, and another, and another, until he finally felt numb enough to talk about it in detail.

"Well," he slurred, sitting up and loosening his tie. He still had his dress robes on. "Then, I mucked it up. Obviously," he said, gesturing to his current predicament.

"I meant specifically, you git," Theo reprimanded, pushing another glass toward Draco. "You knew that too, so there's no need to be obtuse about it."

"Ugh," Draco groaned, slamming his forehead against the hardwood table. "That's something that she would say!"

"Fucking hell," Theo sighed. He leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on another and waiting patiently for Draco to go on. Eventually, he did, just as Theo had known he would.

"Right," Draco sighed. "So, I said that we needed to talk - "

"Already a terrible start. Go on,"

"- and it didn't get much better from there. I think she thought I wanted to call off the arrangement. Though, if we're being honest, we BOTH KNOW that the stupid ploy of friends with benefits was never real, or at least, for me it wasn't but – UGH,"

"Go on," Theo encouraged. "You can do it,"

"IT'S JUST SO UNFAIR," Draco wailed, flailing his arms over his head. "She was just so bloody practical. She interrupted me to say that it was for the best that we stop. For the fucking best! What absolute rubbish! I mean – Can you believe – The nerve,"

"Mhm," Theo muttered, cleaning the white crescents of his nails.

"She just totally bulldozed what I was going to say – WHICH WAS NOT THAT WE SHOULD CALL IT OFF – and pointed out how bloody terrible it would be if our friendship were to end or our living situation were to get fucked up if we couldn't keep ourselves in check. Like what the fuck?"

"Right, absolutely,"

"AS IF I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THAT THE ENTIRE BLOODY TIME, RIGHT?"

"Sure, mate," inserted Theo.

"So, she just kept going on and ON about what would happen if we hurt one another or if we dated and broke up and if – I just – She didn't even give me a chance to breathe, much less get a bloody fucking word in!"

"Yes, I know this part, mate. What happened after?" He asked, frowning.

Draco gulped down another glass.

"Then – Then, I fucking left. I couldn't stand there and listen to her anymore. Not after – Not after everything I realized I fucking wanted." Draco admitted in a quiet, small voice.

He groaned, and leaned back in his chair, swirling the next glass of spiced liquor between his shaking hands.

"I made a list, you know," he said to Theo, eyes glinted. The other man arched a dark brow, finally intrigued with what Draco was saying. "I made a whole fucking list of reasons why I hate her. I hate her. I do."

"Mhm," Theo nodded. "Sure, you do."

"I do!" Draco protested. "I mean, after she said all of that and I apparated away from that godforsaken wedding, I realized that I was just high on – fuck, I don't know – romantic wedding vibes or some fuckery."

Theo pursed his lips but said nothing.

"ANYWAY," Draco slurred loudly. He pulled a crumpled note from his pocket and flung it at Theo. "I made a list. A list of all the things I hate about Granger."

Draco waited, sipping at the whiskey as Theo glanced over the list. "Twenty-four things? Half of these aren't even real, mate. I mean, 'that thing you do with your hips'? That doesn't sound one fucking bit like something you would hate about a woman."

"Shut up," Draco retorted.

He chuckled, tossing the paper back to Draco, who tucked it away once again. "You could have at least rounded up to a sweet twenty-five or something." Theo suggested.

"I'm working on it," Draco grumbled.

"Uh huh," Theo remarked. He stood and stretched his long limbs, then slid a sober-up potion over to Draco and nodded toward the front door. "Well, take this and work on it over in your own flat."

"What?" Draco gasped. "You're going to just kick me to the curb? Just like that? Some kind of mate you are," he bemoaned.

Theo rolled his eyes.

"First of all, Draco, we both know I am the best mate. Secondly, my fiancée will be home any minute and if your sad energy is still here then I don't see her looking to - "

"Alright! Alright!" Draco said, dramatically placing his hands over his ears. "Fuck, I hear you. I'm leaving." He tipped back the vial and winced as the horrible taste of sour cherries coated his tongue. "Ugh," he coughed. "Salazar's balls, that is terrible."

"Yeah, well," Theo shrugged. "Oh, and one more thing," he said, pausing at the door with Draco on his heels.

"Thirdly?" Draco questioned, preparing for Theo to slip in a mocking comment or possibly even poorly told dick joke.

"Thirdly," Theo nodded, leaning against the doorframe. "I don't have time to sit here and listen to you go on and on about how much you bloody hate Granger when we both know that you don't. Also, you don't have time to sit here and make up a bloody list about it, either. Go over there," Theo said, gesturing to the flat across from his, "and win her, Malfoy, like how you win everything. Lucky bastard."

"I - " At his friend's warning glare, Draco swallowed his intended words and settled for a muttered, "Thanks,"

Draco took a deep breath and flicked his wand, swinging the front door of his flat open and step through the entryway. He blinked when he saw her already standing there, shuffling and wringing her hands together.

Her chestnut curls whipped around when she heard the door close loudly behind him.

He swallowed, clearing his throat.

"Hermione?"

She blinked, then bit her lip.

"Draco," she breathed.

A/N - I know I ended that one in a precarious place and this one hardly scratches the itch so, the next (and final!) part of this story will be posted shortly instead of tomorrow. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy other Holidays! This one is for cherinq xx