Aftermath (4)
Cling-smack!
Illya focused on the chimpanzee and bisected arm before her, the monkey placed under a mild application of her Mystic Eyes of Binding that had the creature calmly sitting on a padded cushion, lazily gazing around the room with detached interest.
Cling-smack!
Working with Heaven's Feel was not an easy process by any stretch of the imagination, even less so when trying to test its extents to any meaningful degree. Messing with the soul was kind of a dangerous die to cast when one didn't have a...a…
"Dammit, what was the name of that thing the weird guy in that one shop said? Saving toss? Saving throw? Yeah, that was it!"
To that end the Kaleidoscope had provided a bevy of severed limbs with ingrained magic circuits to practice with, her raised eyebrow met with a simple explanation that they were gathered from sources and 'volunteers' who had less than pure intentions towards the world.
Cling-smack!
There weren't any family crests among the gathered pile so Illya was content to leave things as they were, instead focusing on implanting the magic circuit located in the arm inside of the monkey with as few complications as possible.
...How she was going to do that? Well, frankly, the Homunculus didn't have a clue. Trying to mesh together a circuit from a Human Magus onto the soul of a different animal, all while preserving the integrity of said circuit was like trying to mix red and green while somehow not making brown.
Clink-smack!
"CAN YOU NOT?!"
"Hmm? Sorry, did you happen to say something?"
The Homunculus shot her esteemed teacher a malevolent glare, the Vampire supremely unconcerned with her ire as he continued to idly flick a coin of clearly ancient design-being composed of electrum, of all materials-into the air before catching it in his palm.
"I'm performing an extraordinarily difficult and complicated task here, hearing your rhythmic and distracting habits means that my process is almost certainly going to be zero!"
Kicking his legs up on the table with a pointed gesture of supreme indifference Zelretch replied, "If you can't work a True Magic while someone is busy flipping a coin, then we have bigger concerns on our hands. I managed to work a multitude of parallel worlds while I was fighting an Ultimate One, I expect you to do no less."
"After you already mastered it! I don't even know enough of the Third to know if what I'm doing is right or wrong!"
"If you lack the prerequisite knowledge to ascertain whether a method is correct or incorrect would it not make more sense to assume you're doing it incorrect?"
Illya briefly considered blowing away the old bastard with a prana cannon before giving it up as a bad job, returning to her experiments.
Clink-smack!
"So what's the deal with the coin?"
"I think it's shiny-"
"Besides your bullshit."
Clicking his tongue in an admonishing manner the Ancestor stated, "Now now, Little Emiya, that's no way for a nice young lady like yourself to be speaking."
Smirking as she thought off the most nasty insult she had heard when wandering Fuyuki the albino shot back, "Suck my cock, fucker."
…
It didn't have the desired effect, Zelretch simply snickering before amusedly wiping a tear from his eye, replying, "I'll pay you whatever lump sum of cash you desire if you go up to Barthomeloi and say that to her face."
Glowering at the reminder of the newest addition of hussies trying to get into her Shirou's pants the albino let loose a small growl, the monkey seemingly recognizing the imminent danger even through its drugged state as it scooted backwards on the cushion with hasty motions.
The past few days of tutelage at the Magus Association had revealed a number of uncomfortable facts...such as the one that apparently her brother had attracted the lethal affections of none other than the Queen of the Clocktower.
SOMEHOW.
"Grrrr...go figure it's another crazy bitch like Caren that likes Onii-chan. Am I the only normal one that likes him?!"
The irony of that statement eluded the Homunculus.
"You're really curious about this coin, aren't you?"
"Well obviously. The Blue keeps saying that even though you're an old fogey prick almost everything you do has some logic or meaning behind it. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt."
"Absolutely no filter on that girl, I swear..."
Grumbling to himself the Wizard Marshall continued to idly flip his trinket, eventually explaining, "This little doohickey right here is how I mastered the Second Magic."
"...You're joking."
"Not at all. Tell me, do you remember how I stated that a True Magic is much more a mental and conceptual exercise than it is a research one?"
"I do, what's your point?"
Clink-smack!
"When first studying the Second I hit roadblocks. Lots of them. And for many years I was unable to properly advance along the path of mastery, of truly harnessing and comprehending the simple fact that there exist countless realities both outside and alongside our own."
Clink-smack!
"I was attending a cafe one day, when I came across a stranger, flipping this very same coin. Naturally, with an eye as discerning as my own I recognized it as a bit of monetary history predating the Son of God. He turned out to be a rather interesting fellow and we chatted for most of the morning, swapping tales and some of our current troubles in life. It was he who passed off the coin to me, stating that it was a bit of a lucky charm that he had been given some time ago by a rather charitable lady. Not one to turn down someone's generosity I accepted it and we went our separate ways."
Clink-smack!
"It was as I strolled down the road, idly flipping the coin and observing its motions that I had what could be called an epiphany."
Turning to face Illya the man smirked, explaining, "I had been trying to achieve the Second Magic by pondering the myriad ways and iterations another world could exist, tricking myself into believing that there was an infinite variety of realities by thinking of an infinite possible of histories. It was at that moment, as I let the coin fall once more onto my waiting palm, that a miracle occurred. It landed on neither heads or tails...but on its side."
The Ancestor shook his head.
"In defiance of gravity, of air friction, of momentum, weight distribution and a thousand other factors this coin landed on its side, staying upright despite the simple fact that such a happening was impossible."
Illya met the Vampire's enlightened gaze-
-and deadpanned, "It's not impossible for a coin to land on its side and stay there, just unlikely."
"Yes, you little party pooper, I'm well aware of that. But at the time it was nothing short of cosmic inspiration. I had been going about things the complete wrong way!"
Smiling widely the Apostle announced, "You see, accounting for all the factors in something as simple as a coin toss is-and I'm talking all of the factors, right down to the gravity Jupiter exerts on the coin millions and millions of kilometers away-is impossible for all but save Akasha and the Moon Cell."
Illya raised an eyebrow.
"Moon Cell?"
"Different world, forget it. Like I was saying, something as 'relatively' simple as understanding a coin toss was impossible. Yet here I was, attempting to account for all factors in an infinite number of worlds."
He heartily chuckled.
"What arrogance, what hubris! As if a single mind could ever hope to fully understand something so vast and unending. But, funnily enough, in accepting that my aspiration was impossible it became possible. I admitted to myself that the goal was unattainable...but it was real. So what if I could never fathom the depths of the Second Magic? I just had to accept that it existed and the rest took care of itself."
The Kaleidoscope pointed directly at the Homunculus with a confident movement.
"You'll never understand a person's soul, not in its entirety. But you can accept that it does indeed exist, is vastly more complex than you'll ever comprehend...and you'll do as you please regardless because you're a True Magician. Now, again. And this time surrender control. Stop trying to hit the monkey and just hit it."
"You're doing that thing again. Making references to things I don't know about."
"Doesn't make me any less correct, now does it?"
Quietly grumbling under her breath Illya nonetheless followed the Wizard Marshall's advice, closing her eyes and once more reaching out with her enhanced perceptions, focusing on the arm and the monkey.
…
Except this time she threw caution to the winds, forcing herself to believe that the souls of the two beings were one yet separate, that she could change them because the Third Magic was her providence.
After all, why wouldn't it be? She was the living manifestation of the Holy Grail and the Archmage, if anyone could achieve this feat since the original Einzbern Magician...it was her.
Gritting her teeth the albino gradually drew together the different fabrics of the souls, ever so slowly picking the singular magic circuit from its original owner and intertwining it with the chimp...and breathing out a sigh of exhaustion, rubbing her temples as a headache assailed her skull with a vengeance.
Yet she had done it, perfectly meshed a foreign bit of soul matter into a completely different container, completing a very small but very potent aspect of the Third Magic.
"Ha, I knew I could-eh?"
The Homunculus halted in her excitement as before her eyes the implanted magic circuit shriveled up and outright disappeared with no trace of it ever existing.
"Oh my. Judging by your expression things didn't work out very well. You didn't think it would be that easy, would you?"
Illya rounded on the smirking Vampire, snarling, "You said the key to performing a True Magic was believing that it could be done and knowing it could be done! Why didn't it work?!"
Idly picking his ear with a pinky the Kaleidoscope disinterestedly responded, "Who told you such a thing? It still took me several years of research after that epiphany to truly understand and employ the Second. You probably just didn't let me finish my story."
The Homunculus sucked down a deep breath to reply in a most eloquent manner-
"And was I not just warning of the dangers of hubris? Perhaps this little experiment will keep that big head of yours from growing any larger, after all you didn't let me finish my cautionary tale."
-and instead let loose a sound a bit like an enraged cat, Zelretch chuckling merrily.
"Ah, the impotent rage of the youthful. Truly, a sight that never grows old. Also you may want to take a step to the left, Little Emiya."
Resisting the urge to blow away the Vampire's head with a prana cannon the Homunculus turned her attention to the monkey as it gave a long, relaxed chitter of contentment...and then its little monkey penis popped out, launching a stream of piss that splattered all over Illya's boots, the albino numbly staring at the display as the chimp gormlessly grinned, still under the influence of her Mystic Eyes.
"Oh my, it seems soul alteration brings about a bit of relaxation in the subject. Best keep that in mind during future endeavors. Unless you enjoy smelling like monkey urine, I'm not one to judge."
When Shirou and Aoko walked in on the room a minute later it was to find a feral and vicious albino doing her best to physically throttle a much taller and older man, pleasant smile still gracing his lips as he used his cane to hold the frothing young woman at bay, a stream of highly inventive curses leaving her lips in an unbroken stream.
Shirou turned to the Fifth Magician with a rare look of perplexion on his features.
"Is this sort of thing normal among aspiring True magicians?"
The Blue's expression was completely neutral and devoid of emotion.
"I stopped asking questions like that years ago."
"I'M COVERED IN URINE!"
"Your own urine?"
(Realization that there's no right answer to that)
"Yes."
...
Reference to the batshit insanity that was CODE Ment, just in case anyone was wondering what the bloody hell I was talking about there.
And yet another chapter in which I bemoan having to create my own lore, namely the method Zelretch went about earning the power of infinite Isekai.