33: Look What I Carry On My Shoulders Now.

Nova had been looking to get out of Virginia anyways. She hauled ass in her Firebird to Kansas where the young hunter was already waiting outside of the bunker for her. She gratefully hopped in the passenger's seat of the Firebird with a soft sigh. "So what's got your feathers all in a bunch, kid?" The Romanian broke the silence as they hit the road.

Zarya's face scrunched up for a quick second at the mention of 'feathers' but she immediately shook it off. "Can we talk about you first? I'm honestly still processing what's going on with me and it would be mildly comforting to hear drama other than my own first…"

The vampire shrugged. "Katerina is dying. Finally."

"Wait, what? What do you mean?"

"The cure to vampirism sped up her body since she's been alive around 500 years. She's literally decaying and falling to pieces. It was wonderful timing of you to be having a crisis because Virginia is the last state anyone wants me to be in right now. Not everyone can keep track of where I am so I don't just up and break what's left of the Bulgarian curva."

"What's that mean anyways - curva?"

She snickered. "It's Romanian. For whore."

Zarya sweatdropped. "And yet people tell me that my mouth is wild…"

"For a modern human and the language you were born into, you really are. Perhaps those of us still alive should teach you more languages. I know a handful myself, but I'm sure my darling sister would be able to find more of an excuse to flee from Mystic Falls to tutor you."

"Why do you say that?" Is she still broken up over Katia's death…?

"Well, on top of finally meeting and then losing her only child, Bonnie Bennett came back from the dead. She is now the anchor to the Other Side and back beside Jeremy."

Zarya's brows scrunched together in confusion. "Zina likes Jeremy? No way."

"It's like pulling teeth to get any kind of submission from her but it's there. I suspect she started pining for him when they were both on the Other Side but it's been bad since they both came back. It's kind of what I assume to be, from what I've heard that is," her maroon lips tugged into a sly smirk, "relatable to you and Lucifer."

Her cheeks immediately turned bright pink. "Oh come on, I've been getting heckled about Dean. You really have to go back to him?"

"It is the truth, Zarya. And you know it. Just as my sister is uncertain how to feel about Jeremy Gilbert, I see the same look in your eyes. The look of wanting to be around him but feeling as if you should know better. I can see that you care about Dean, sure, but that's more like… a watered down version of Daciana and Klaus. You would do anything to protect him, to keep him alive, but in the end all he is to you is family. I assume that was at least part of what you wanted to lay on me."

Her face fell in her hands. "I know that Dean wants to tell me he's in love with me," her voice shook, "but I just can't let him."

"What spiraled this change?"

"I've had my doubts… but I always cared for Dean. We've been through so much together. I endured an entire year in Purgatory with nobody but him. Not even a single glimmer of Lucifer. No one. I figured when we got back everything would be smooth sailing. Just hunting until the end of our days."

"Even after Purgatory you held no desire to speak of any possible 'feelings' towards one another?"

She shook her head. "Part of me wanted to, but it's not in our lifestyle. It's not… it's not in me. I'm not meant to be anyone's girlfriend or wife. The last time I fell for someone… it didn't end well."

"Rejection?"

"No. I never said anything. He loved another, and then he died."

Nick, Nova realized immediately. So you did fall in love with your best friend. What the hell happened to you, kid…?

"When we returned from Purgatory," Zarya continued bitterly, "I wanted nothing more than to go back. I could feel this weight on my chest and shoulders… I could feel the grief of everyone I lost all over again… I started to lose it and bury my mind in unraveling the truth of the Vasiles."

"I imagine that didn't make it any easier for you with the copious amount of lies that has befallen our name."

"Yup. So I turned right back to the only other part of my life that gave me an inkling of comfort no matter how construed the idea was. I let him back into my life. And do you want to know what I found out?"

"I'm fairly certain your intent for this trip was to tell me."

She ignored the witty quip, her eyes focused on the outside as it passed by rapidly. "He imprinted on me." Her voice was barely above a whisper but plenty loud enough for the vampire to hear. "My bond to him was never predetermined which is why it took so many by surprise; it's because he forged it himself when I was a child after Katherine ran our car off the road."

Even Nova's breath caught in her throat. She had heard of 'imprinting' before, but never believed in it let alone amongst angels. Her emerald eyes flicked to the hunter staring absentmindedly out of the window. "Why would he do such a thing if his whole goal was to return to Remiel and burn humanity?"

"I've waited long enough for you, Rya. I'll burn humanity in your name."

She twitched a little. "Because it wasn't. He knew she was totally losing it as the years passed, then I ended up right at his feet. And in that moment," her voice was slowly turning into a sob, "he chose me."

The vampire almost wished she could sympathize with the girl, but she just couldn't feel a damn thing. Still no sign of her humanity switch at all. There wasn't a whole lot about imprinting that she knew about, but she did hear a few things over the years. "I never did look much into it, but… do you know what it takes for one to imprint upon another? I mean, I imagine it's different for angels of all creatures…"

Zarya shook her head. "It's not. It's just a hell of a lot stronger and much more binding. Which is why it's flooring every person and creature as soon as they realize."

Nova nodded slowly, keeping her eyes firmly on the road. "Lucifer cares for a human girl more than his own sister."

Her green-blue eyes were borderline vacant as they stared out at the passing scenery. While something broken resided deep within, something longing was fighting to the surface. Her pale lips trembled. She finally said aloud the truth she had been so dearly fighting off. "He loves me."

The Romanian's maroon lips parted slowly as the words etched themselves in her own head. How the hell had the hidden secrets of the Vasiles so dramatic and wild? Even without her humanity Nova still had the hardest time grasping Lucifer, the devil, imprinted on a human child who was never even supposed to step foot in Hell let alone right in front of the Cage. She shook her head before bending over and slapping open her glove box. "How much time do you have before the Winchesters come hunting you down?"

Zarya tried to peer inside of the glove box but Nova kept tapping her back like a nosy child. "I left them a note saying I needed a few days to deal with what happened at Whitmore and I would check in for proof of life regularly. Why…?"

A smirk crossed the driver's face before she pulled a medium sized box from her compartment. She set it on the middle of the seat then tugged her phone out from her cleavage. Zarya watched with wide, curious eyes as Nova drove with her faux leather-clad knees to make a call and dig around for something in the box. While the line rang, Nova pulled out a green lighter and rolled blunt before shutting the box again. "You're going on a trip," she spoke when whoever answered without so much as saying 'hello'.

"Are you… are you lighting a blunt right now?" came Zina's voice from the other end while Nova puffed and struck her lighter until the blunt was fully lit. "Where the hell are you?"

"Yes I am and you would be too if you knew a fraction of what I know, sister. Now get yourself some wheels, or not - I couldn't care less, and get to Nashville."

"Have you derailed again, Nova? Is this your cry for help for Damon and I to bring you home?"

Nova rolled her eyes. She tossed her lighter onto the dash and drove with both hands once the blunt was lit. "Cute, Zina. No, actually, I'm with little Zarya who seems twice as fucked up as you so I thought we three could go get fucked up and forget our issues for 24 hours."

"You don't even feel the issues going on right now, sister. What's going on with Zarya? Is she alright?"

"You can find out yourself if you meet us in Nashville," the elder sister replied in a sing-song voice. Her hand stretched out to offer the blunt to Zarya.

"I'm… I'm not so sure…" She told the vampire timidly as her eyes darted between Nova and the blunt.

Again Nova's eyes rolled. "I promise I'm off the hard stuff, kid. Just a magnificent gram and a half of Mary Jane." She smirked. "Your choice though. I just figured it might help after… you know."

Zina sighed loudly on the other end of the call while Zarya hesitantly took the blunt between her fingers. "So it's bad enough where you're sharing your stash of pot with the girl. Fine, I will meet you in Nashville. But these feet are not running the whole way."

"Steal Steffie's Porsche for all I give a fuck." Nova shrugged. She kept glancing at her passenger who was hesitant to hit the blunt. "Or pretend to hitchhike and kill the driver for their car. I don't care."

"We know you don't care, Nova. Try not to convince Zarya of those ideals."

The call ended so Nova tossed her phone onto the seat near her box. That was when Zarya began coughing horrendously. Nova slammed her breaks, pulling off to the side of the road, when she realized the hunter had only attempted to smoke for the first time. Nova burst out laughing. Zarya tried, without any luck, to tell Nova not to laugh at her but she couldn't stop coughing. The vampire wiped a tear from her eye then reached in the back for a water bottle for the girl who handed her back the blunt.

"Try inhaling much, much less, kid," she laughed, taking a long drag.

Zarya's head shook as she chugged down half of the bottle. "No way. That was worse than the occasional cigarette."

"Oh come on," Nova groaned. "You sneak cigarettes here and there but you're afraid of a blunt? For a hunter you have some odd ideals."

She scoffed. "Must be the devil gunning for me."

Again Nova's hand held out the blunt while they were still stopped. "Smaller drags. It's thicker smoke."

Hesitantly, Zarya did try again before they took back off. The first hit was the tiniest bit of smoke that made Nova bust out in hysterics again. The sound almost made Zarya feel less awkward about her own laugh. With a little more curiosity and bravery she hit the blunt once more with a successful mouthful of smoke and proper breathing. When Zarya was fairly settled into smoking with Nova, the Firebird zoomed down the road again.

It had been a year. A whole year since Gabriel had begun his 'witness protection' for, well, Zarya in specific but the Winchester pair as well. He just couldn't let his oldest brothers shred up the one glimmer of actual hope for humanity and maybe even angels too. Sam and Dean hunted still in an effort to help keep her off the grid and away from both Lucifer and Michael's prying schemes. It had taken her some time to adjust, but eventually Zarya found some sort of solace in Dean. While he hunted she worked at the bar/restaurant Gabriel created and they spent nights together. It was a peaceful mask over her eyes to help keep her from thinking about Lucifer.

Another day had gone by as normally as any other. At the end of her shift, Zarya was finishing setting up the banquet room for the following day when she heard muffled voices. She finished the last table before wiping her hands on her apron that she started to take off as she walked up front. She could hear Gabe trying to keep his voice hushed, but it still sounded so infuriated. She wasn't expecting the brothers to return for at least another couple of hours, let alone for either of them to set off the long fuse of Gabriel's anger.

"Why can't you just let her go, bro?"

The pleading in the young archangel's voice originally paused Zarya in the doorway until she saw who Gabriel was speaking with. Her lips parted slowly when she met his devilish blue eyes boring into her soul. Without looking away from her green-blue eyes or his expression changing even in the slightest, Lucifer replied, "Because you know as well as I do that she belongs with me."

Her grip on the apron in her hands tightened until her knuckles were white. Without realizing it her feet began to stomp their way up to him. Gabriel immediately jumped between the two, holding his arms out to keep them fully separate. "Go back and finish getting ready to go, Z. I'll deal with the bag of dicks."

Zarya's eyes had been fixated on the elder angel in the building. Her expression was cold and unwavering. Gabriel kept looking between the two, growing more mortified at the similarities in their faces. "I want to hear what he's got the balls to say," she spoke slowly as to keep her own temper in check.

"No, you absolutely do not," Gabe insisted. "Go home and call Dean."

"Gabe," her gaze finally jumped onto him, "don't you think that if he just waltzed in here that he would have no issue just waltzing into my home?" Her eyes wandered back to Lucifer who was resisting the urge to smirk. "Go sit," she told him in a bold tone as she pointed towards the back booths. "Choose your words carefully and make them minimal."

"Zarya!" Gabe called after her. He merely watched as the ravenette walked to the back of the restaurant with his brother.

"I always do enjoy when you try to stand your ground," Lucifer opened with when they sat. "So… fiery." He smirked.

"You're running out of the number of words to say to me." She forced her tone steady and emotionless as best as she could, though she was finding it increasingly difficult. The longer she sat across from him under his piercing gaze the more often her legs would cross and recross over themselves.

"I think we both know that's not true. You want to hear what I have to say. All of it. What I actually want, our witty banter, the snide, flirtatious comments…"

"Why don't you just start with what you actually want so we can skip your attempts at the other two?"

He snickered. "Of course, Rya. As if we weren't already doing the other two. Michael and Raphael intend on killing you first to make sure they can get to me."

"That would be why I'm here with the brother who ditched the drama and knows how to disappear at the drop of a dime."

Lucifer scoffed and rolled his eyes. Across the restaurant he could see his brother behind the bar watching them carefully with scrutiny. "Yeah, about that… I found you, Rya. Mostly because I have the common sense about where to look for you, but it's only a matter of time."

Her nose gave a subtle twitch, knowing he was unfortunately correct. Of course Lucifer would find her first; of course he knew where to look. "So why are you here?" The steadiness of her voice was wavering.

"I want you to come with me, of course." He told her matter-of-factly. "You are the safest by my side, Rya. My baby brother can only hide you for so long before Mikey and Raph come to kick the hell out of him. If you're with me, they can't touch us and Gabe can vanish entirely. He already did it once."

"I have a life, Lucifer." Her tone was dark and low. She was at least pondering the idea and he knew it.

Again he scoffed. "You are a waitress at a protective restaurant created by my baby brother, and, what? Dean Winchester?" The scoff turned into a mocking chuckle. "That's not even competition to me, Rya." Finally she uncrossed her arms and let them lay casually on top of the table. His eyes flicked back to Gabriel, noticing that Zarya was entirely out of the younger archangel's eyeshot. Boldly, Lucifer took her hands in his own out of Gabriel's view. He hesitated only for a second, expecting her to recoil and yank her hands back. A daring confidence grew stronger when she didn't budge a centimeter. "You know I can give you the world, Rya. You don't have to be hidden in some off the map town and try to blend in with humanity. I can take you anywhere under Michael's nose and even if he did manage to scout you out then at least you would be with me where you are safe."

"Why are you so hell bent over this?" There was a strain to her voice. She was arguing with herself because, in truth, she longed to leave. "It's been months and it has been peacefully quiet. What makes you think I'll just go right back to your madness?"

He couldn't resist the urge to smirk again. "Well, for one, you've made no move to retract your hands from me. Even now, as I make you fully aware of it happening you're still letting me sit here, talk to you, and touch you. Your darling Dean would seethe at the sight. And I don't know how many more times I have to say it before it gets through your thick skull, but I will never stop coming for you, Rya. Whether I'm topside or in the Cage, you are mine. What you've been doing with Dean Winchester is nothing but a joke."

While the darkly possessive look in his eyes should have fueled her fire and told her to run, Zarya realized that all it did was pull her in further. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He asked as innocently as he could muster. He noticed that if he leaned close enough he was entirely out of his brother's sight. So he picked up her hands in his before leaning forward and gently kissing her pale knuckles without looking away from her eyes. He knew it was only a matter of time.

"Things like that that I should be smacking the hell out of you for… I should have walked away already."

"Oh, Rya," he kept her hands near his face as he continued to smirk at her. "You never should have sat down if you were actually happy here, but you know that it's just not good enough. That Dean is not enough for you."

"Everything was going just fine until you decided to show up here tonight."

"Because you don't want to be here, Rya." His tone was growing stern and impatient while still trying to coax her calmly. "You know that you want to come with me so just stop fighting it."

Her fingers tightened around his as her heartbeat sped up steadily. "Do not try to tell me what I know and what I want," her whisper of a voice shook with emotion and uncertainty.

"Why not?" His tone dropped so it was barely louder than hers. Just their hands kept their faces apart. "I know exactly what you want, Rya. You want a love that consumes you, or nothing at all. You want passion, adventure," another chaste kiss to her knuckles, "and even a little bit of danger. And that, my love, is why you will always return to me."

Zarya awoke with a start when Nova essentially brake checked the vehicle for no reason other than to wake the sleeping hunter. "I know I've had some… interesting dreams after falling asleep stoned out of my mind," Nova smirked a little, "but if Zina were here then I would have made her show me whatever was going on in your noggin."

She rubbed her eyes and blinked the rest of the sleep away. What state were they in? How long had she been asleep? Looking to the vampire who still held the smirk on her face, Zarya froze a little. She knew well that it was Nova Vasile and not him, but was that why she rather enjoyed her time with Nova? The bluntness of her words, the lackadaisical outlook towards life and humanity, the simplest of gestures like the way her dark red lips pulled into an arrogant smirk…

"It was a dream I had some years ago," Zarya admitted. "Post apocalypse case we were working on ended up involving a siren and a djinn working together. I got stuck in the djinn's mental hallucination mojo where I was in a world that Gabriel wasn't dead and rather than face the final battle, he took the three of us off the map entirely. I was a waitress in his restaurant while Sam and Dean hunted so it was known that they were alive but no one could find them. It was peaceful. I was still a waitress, and… and I had Dean."

Nova nodded slowly with understanding. "Feeling like the apocalypse had derailed you were comfortable enough to try and settle down. I don't know much about djinn, most have known better than to try and be within miles of me so quite frankly I wasn't certain they actually existed, but I believe something I heard was that it's supposed to be a happy dream; like a fantasy. The tone of your voice says it's going to go otherwise somewhere."

"Oh, it does." She scoffed lightly. "The only way to escape a djinn's hallucination is to be aware that you're in a fantasy and kill yourself so you'll wake up in your real life. Anything else and you die for real. The longer the djinn can keep you under, the longer they get to feed."

"So you're living a backhanded apple pie life with the Winchesters and archangel Gabriel. I wonder where it all goes to Hell."

"The second that Lucifer walks in as I'm finishing a shift at the restaurant." Didn't that happen when I was comatose at Whitmore too? She thought bitterly. "Of course my dumb ass goes and hears the bonehead out."

"And Sam and Dean are where?"

"Coming home from a hunt. At some point while I'm getting laid into by the bonehead, Gabe called Dean because duh. So he's speeding back while I'm sitting there like a hopeless mope getting convinced to run away. My dream this time was just that part of him coming in and getting in my head, but it wasn't even the full thing like a few years ago."

"Alright, I know I'm old so I need you and your up-to-date hunter brain to slow the hell down." Zarya laughed a little. "Let me get the scenario here correct: post apocalypse you get trapped in a djinn's hallucination. Sometime after that you have a dream about the back half of your hallucination. Now you've only dreamed part of the back half of the hallucination?"

"More or less, yes. This time - probably thanks to you checking your brakes - it stopped before I agreed to leave with him. I mean, the more I think about, the more ironically timed it was that you woke me up."

"What do you mean, kid?"

"It wasn't mid sentence or anything. It was clear, distinct, and like it was meant to get to me all over again…"

"What was said, Zarya? The important stuff; you can tell me all of the smut after." She smirked.

The hunter resisted the urge to reach out and hit Nova knowing it would do her hand more harm than her mind good. She sighed, then closed her eyes and relaxed into the leather seat. It wasn't that difficult to pull the memory forward. It had been clear as day for a third time. "I told him not to tell me what I know and I want. He told me…" Her voice started to shake, eyes opening and staring up at the ceiling of the car. "He told me he knew exactly what I wanted. 'You want a love that consumes you,'" she recited the exact quote which immediately earned Nova's widened eyes, "'or nothing at all. You want passion, adventure, and even a little bit of danger. And that, my love, is why you will always return to me.'"

Nova didn't notice when the light turned green at first. It was an unusual gesture that made Zarya look at her, finding the astonishment on the vampire's face. "Damon has said that to me," her voice fell just above a whisper. "The very first time was the first night I spent at the Salvatore home in 1860…"

[Flashback; Mystic Falls, 1860]

"What are you still doing up?"

Nova was sitting in the nook of the bow window with her knees curled to her chest. Her raven hair was out of the braid and freshly washed with a clean, light purple nightgown covering her. When she finally tore her eyes away from the stars, she found Damon's light blue ones in her doorway. "I…" It took her a moment to carefully remember the English words she learned on the boat. "I cannot sleep. I am foreign here."

Damon smiled softly and stepped into her room, quietly shutting the door behind him. "You are homesick." She looked up at him with confusion in her emerald eyes. "That is what it's called - homesick. Even though you ran away from a bad life, it was still where you spent your life. It was all you knew before you left."

Nova's eyes returned to outside through the window. In the delicate light they and the moon gave off, Damon could see crimson highlighting her still damp waves. "The sky never looked this beautiful in Romania…"

She jumped a little when he gently placed his hand on her shoulder blade. "You will see everything beautiful Mystic Falls and America has to offer you, Nova. Everything you could ever want in life I can show you."

She smiled softly up at him, enjoying the warmth of his hand through the thin material of the nightgown. "How could you know what I desire when I do not?"

"You want what we all want," he returned the smile with his own as he bent down to her eye level. "You want a love that consumes you… passion, adventure… and even a little bit of danger since you are so reckless."

Nova's smile seemed to widen. A light pink shade started to show on her pale cheeks. "Is that what you want too, Damon?"

"I want to be the one to make sure you get everything you want."

[Present]

Zarya honestly could have cried if she was just a smidge more of a sappy romantic. Partly because she knew it was something that was always out of her reach. Yet still even with Nova's humanity off Damon fought tooth and nail for the woman. He overlooked some of the worst things she could possibly do and desperately tried to put her straight. He didn't even care anymore that she wouldn't turn on her humanity. He was alright having her around and not massacring the cities they were in. A part of Zarya always longed for something like that, but she held no desire in turning or being with a vampire and what was the point in having a human boyfriend? She could keep him blissfully ignorant or tell him about the hunting life but it would all end the same: with him dying just like everyone else.

Aside from that, Zarya never felt deserving of a love like that. Someone who would ride or die no matter the situation. Someone to look at you as a disaster when you first wake up and say you're beautiful. Someone to be able to handle all of the mental trauma. Someone not afraid of monsters. She could never have that. She never even felt so strongly about another human being after losing Nick. She held out hope for so long that Dean could do it, that he could fill the gaping hole left behind, but he just couldn't. Deeper and deeper she watched him fall for her, even during and after being a Knight of Hell. She tried so fucking hard to give her heart to another. When she just couldn't she knew even better than before that she would never be somebody's girlfriend, wife, or mother.

"You care for him," Nova told her in a whisper-like voice. "That's what's really scaring you right now is that you're pretty sure you're acknowledging that you care about Lucifer probably as much as he does for you."

"Even if," she could not stress the 'if' enough, "that were the case… I still can't. That's not a life that's meant for me."

"Why? Because you're a hunter? Give me a break, Zarya. Damon and I have been vampires for a century and a half. He was hung up on the Bulgarian curva who was too obsessed with his brother. Still is, by the way. We have been kidnapped, attacked, ambushed, threatened, and separated. But if you truly care about someone - truly love them - you will always find your way back to them. You will always fight for them no matter what it takes. I don't think the Vasiles have an issue finding love; I'm pretty certain that we love far too hard once we have someone worth our time. You don't want to have kids? That is perfectly reasonable. I was never interested in the thought of motherhood either. But you don't have to reject the idea of loving someone else because you are afraid."

Zarya gave her a somber smile. "That's an awful lot of emotion for a vampire who won't turn her humanity back on you know. I appreciate it though."

Nova's dark lips turned into a tight frown. "It's not… it's not that I won't turn it back on," she admitted softly. "I can't, Zarya. I've tried looking for the switch and it's gone this time." Her green-blue eyes widened. "Just because I lack humanity now does not mean I never learned about or felt love. I still very much love Damon with all of my heart - whatever may be left and possibly beating. I will love Damon until the end of time and existence. You are allowed to have that, Zarya. You are meant to have someone to endlessly care for."

"Not if they're just going to end up dead!" She finally shouted in an outburst. "Yes, Dean came back and thankfully Sam was able to cure him but that still doesn't change the fact that I watched the light leave his eyes. I lost Sarah, and my god daughter, and… and…"

Nova's hand on the wheel switched so she could reach over and grab the girl's hand comfortingly. "You've still got about three hours until we reach Nashville so let it all out now, kid."

Without a second thought the tears sprung from her eyes. It was barely a minute before Zarya was full blown sobbing. Nova gave her hand a squeeze, her own chest aching for the girl. She couldn't imagine how she would feel to lose Damon at any point in her life. Just watching Giuseppe shoot him was bad enough but at least he had vampire blood in his veins even if it was the Bulgarian curva's. Part of her wondered how Nick Rowell had become so painfully significant to Zarya. She tried to explain it to Nova, and when the vampire told her she really didn't have to Zarya insisted.

"I get it… you don't have to continue, Katia. Really."

"I do though." She looked up and met Zarya's eyes. There was a strength in her dark eyes, but also a deep brokenness. "Because I've never told anyone what I know; that I even know this. I need to tell someone, and I'd like that someone to be you."

"I need to tell someone," she caught her breath to repeat the dhampirs words that had once been to her. "And I'd like that someone to be you."

Nova's emerald eyes flicked to her for a quick second. She shrugged. "Alright. Lay it on me, kid."

Zarya took a breath as deep as her lungs would permit. "We were best friends, our whole lives. I was fifteen and snuck out to a party I had no business being at other than to be a rebellious teenager. I never had a lot of alcohol before then, let alone hard liquor. People kept giving me whiskey. As soon as I finished one, another was in my hand. I was beyond trashed and getting all hot and bothered." She shifted awkwardly in her seat. "Some seniors and their college friends were trying to get me to go with them… one even tried dragging me away. Drunk or not I fought like hell until I was able to lock myself in a bedroom that thankfully had a phone in it. I called Nick, sobbing like the drunk mess I was, and he could hear the guys trying to get to me. I don't think he ever drove so damn fast," she smiled sadly and mournfully at the memory.
"He knew a few of the guys and laid out two of them. Broken noses and black eyes and one of them even had a cracked rib just so he could get to the door. He scooped me up while I was a blubbering mess and snuck me out without anyone else noticing until we were gone. His parents were out of the country on business and the Deightons peacefully asleep so he took me back to his house promising me he would settle it with the Deightons after I slept and sobered up. He was like my Superman that night… and I kissed him. I went on a drunken tangent about how much he meant to me and I begged him to just want me. I knew how much he cared for me as friends, but I just… I wanted him to want me, you know…?"

Nova's mouth was set straight and tight, gaze unmoving from the empty road. Her eyes prickled with a slight burn that she hadn't felt in months - tears.Her eyes wanted so badly to make them in vast quantity and just let them spill, but nothing came past the prickle. She let Zarya just cry it out, almost wishing somewhere within that she could do the same.