AUTHORS NOTE: First of THREE chapters being posted today; I have spent time reorganising the upcoming chapters and had to rearrange things slightly to add something which I wasn't planning to add which happens a bit further on. All will become apparent, but for now just enjoy the mass upload!
CHAPTER 45
Tuesday Afternoon…
"Well?" Gideon asks as he looks up as I walk out of the small testing room along with everyone else who sat their theory driving test.
I shrug, "I have no idea, I need to get my results now" I say as I point to the desk in the corner.
Gideon grins and stands up, and comes with me to the desk. I tell them my name and moments later I have a piece of paper in my hand telling me I have passed and with a pretty good percentage.
Gideon takes the paper from me and reads it, before wrapping his arm around me and kissing me.
"Well done Angel" he says as we leave the test centre.
"I can put in for my practical now. My driving instructor said he couldn't put me in for it until I'd done my theory test… and now I have" I say with a grin.
"So hopefully soon I can retire from driving and have you drive me everywhere" Gideon says as he nudges me with his shoulder.
I give him an incredulous look as I know what he has just said will never happen. "Retire from driving? That'll never happen, you are a terrible passenger. I know you are instructing me when you are in the car with me but you hate it when you aren't actually the one driving!" I say and Gideon laughs.
"Yes, I know I am" he concedes. "I do try and reign it in though as you are an excellent driver" he adds.
We head back to work and Gideon hesitates as I turn to go to the picking area. I pause as I know he wants to tell me to be careful. I know that my time in this physically demanding job is getting limited now, but I am also determined to continue as long as I can. George is starting to treat me like I am made of glass and I have noticed a distinct shift in the orders I am actually being assigned to pick. I am not being stubborn about it as I know they mean well but I do feel like shouting I'm pregnant, not ill at them on occasions.
"Here she is!" Boz shouts as I walk into the picking area and the group he is standing with all turn and grin at me.
I haven't been subjected to many remarks and comments about my relationship with Gideon. Probably because Gideon had put his foot down about it so early on. Plus the fact Gideon is such a fair man and if anyone needs help or assistance with anything he readily bends over backwards to try and accommodate them. This has inspired loyalty and respect in the men who previously didn't give a shit about the place when Norm was lording it over everyone. Martin is still the depot manager so he is the man to go to if there are any issues; but having the CEO on site also has its advantages as they feel that there isn't the 'them and us' culture there once was, when Gideon's grandfather was in charge and stuck up in Manchester and not having a clue about what was going on at the depots.
I'm also not so naive to realise that the guys see a huge advantage to me being here on the ground with them. As Gideon's wife, they see that as they have the advantage over other departments in the depot, because they have a link straight to the boss. Not that I would pull that card… ok, so I may've used that advantage once or twice. I may've had a word in Gideon's ear when there was a cock up in the post room and they tried to blame us for it. But I have also made it clear that it could be construed as a disadvantage for them if they start taking the piss thinking they have a free pass because the bosses wife is their co-worker and I've also made it clear that like Gideon, I expect one hundred per cent, one hundred per cent of the time.
"Well?" George asks as he appears and looks at me expectantly.
"What do you think!" I state smugly.
"Good girl!" George says as he puts his arm around my shoulder and gives me a friendly hug.
"It was never in any doubt George, I fucking aced it!" I say and there is a round of laughter at my words.
I look around, "What? You didn't doubt me did you?" I ask which produces more laughter.
I turn to George, "So, what do you need me to do?" I ask and at this George looks slightly uncomfortable.
"Let's go into my office" he says and nods his head towards the small makeshift office nearby.
I am now on alert wondering what this is about but I follow him and when he closes the door, I fold my arms and wait.
"What's this about George?" I ask.
"Now, I don't want you to get upset Evie" he begins which inevitably makes me start to get upset.
"What?" I ask sharply.
George sighs and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "Look, you are nearly six months pregnant. We are all having kittens when you are out in the aisles with your trolley doing your picking in case anything happens. I'm fairly certain you have noticed that the orders you have been given to be picked are not as involved as orders you have completed previously… It's not that we don't want you here Evie because you know that isn't true, but we don't want anything bad to happen to you or that little baby you are carrying. You've been through enough in your short life and you now have a real chance and your life is miles away from what it was and we don't want you to have to face any more heartache… or anything". He stops speaking and looks at me warily.
I was ready to come back with a tirade but seeing him looking so worried and knowing that he really does care and really only wants what's best for me makes me sigh and the indignant anger melts away.
"Well what am I going to do? I can't not work, I'll go fucking stir crazy. I have already told Gideon that when he has been dropping hints about me working in here. Plus, I love it here with the guys. This place was like a home to me when… I can't just turn my back on it and go now my life is better and no longer in the toilet. You're all like family to me, don't make me go". I stop and swallow hard cursing the tears which are welling up in my eyes. Fucking pregnancy hormones!
"Aww come here" George says and he lurches towards me pulling me into a hug. "I aint saying that, we don't want you to go. There's not one man out there who wants you to go, not permanently. We just want you to take it easy now that you are able to" he says.
I nod, "But I know the law George, you can't force me out… not if I refuse to go" I say defensively and he smiles.
"I know that, and I aint forcing you to do anything. The reason I called you in here is because we all got together – coz we all care about you Evie, and we thought now that the picking process is all on the computer and all we have to do is pull it from there and there isn't the paperchase we had previously… and don't forget you were instrumental in helping Gideon implement that, well we thought you could kind of be in charge of that side of things… I mean you know some of us are pretty shit with the computer side of things and you've had to dig us out of a few holes at times when we've pressed the wrong button. If you make sure all the orders to be picked are on the tablets and then as the orders are picked and completed you sign them off on the main terminal it will speed things up significantly plus it will stop the likes of Rav and Boz fucking things up and us having to call Wayne down to put it right".
I think about this and smile, I can see what he is trying to do, but I can also see the positive aspects of it as some of the men really are technophobes and have struggled with the technology. I have ended up helping them out on many occasions and they have done some things sometimes which has necessitated Wayne coming down to sort things out. So if there was someone here to handle that side of things it would speed things up and stop me having to keep bailing them out.
"Have you spoken to Martin about this?" I ask and George nods.
"Yep, he thought it was a brilliant idea… so did Gideon" he says.
I snort, "I'm sure he did" I say wryly. As I know Gideon wants nothing more than me leaving the picking area completely.
"So… what do you say? I assure you it's only till you've had the baby. We won't make you do it permanently after all you are one of our best pickers".
I roll my eyes, "Flattery will get you nowhere" I say with a grin but I nod my head, "Alright, I'll do it… how will this affect my shift pattern though?" I ask.
George shrugs, "I can't see that it will, just stay as you are. Nights have their own system which is pretty similar as they have a number of technophobes and since Gideon and Martin altered the shifts and made it so that it was either nights or days with no titting around with earlies, days and afternoons everyone knows where they are and what they are doing. Twilight do it the same way as nights but its days who are the busiest as that is when the majority of orders tend to come through".
I nod, that had been a godsend. Gideon had changed the whole operation and the picking area now operated on just three standard shifts. There is days, which is what I do. That is a 9-hour shift from 8 in a morning till 5 in the evening. Twilight which is an 8-hour shift runs from 5 in the evening until 1am and then nights takes over at 1am until 8am. Everyone had input on it and as a result everyone was happy with the changes, as nobody really liked the changing of shift patterns every couple of weeks.
"Ok, I'll do it" I say eventually after I have thought things through. Although I know my limitations and I would never do anything to risk this baby, I can understand the concern from the guys and I accept that comes from a good place and they are not just wanting me to leave.
Plus, I can see an advantage to this which George hasn't spotted. If I find any orders which are pretty standard with no heavy lifting involved, there is nothing stopping me assigning them to myself to complete.
oooOOOooo
Four months later…
Things fall into a comfortable pattern and before I know where I am the summer has passed and we are now heading into Autumn. We went away on holiday, the first real holiday I had ever been able to give Maisie and she loved it. Gideon took us on a proper bucket and spade seaside holiday on the Isle of Wight, Maisie thought it was brilliant as travelling on the ferry to get to the Isle of Wight made her think she was going abroad! The holiday was much like the holidays I remember from when I was a kid and mum and Vic took us all down to Weston-Super-Mare or up to Blackpool. The weather was outstandingly good and we had spent a number of days on the beach building sandcastles and playing as well as visiting all the attractions the small island had to offer. Maisie had loved every moment of it and we had returned with many toys which she had managed to con Gideon into buying her. I had been surprised by Gideon's choice of a UK holiday resort. I had expected him to want to go abroad. But it had been really nice that we didn't. He had told me he didn't want to overwhelm us on our first real holiday as a family, he said we had the rest of our lives and a whole world to explore on holidays in the future.
My evening classes should be commencing again shortly now that the Autumn term is starting again. I'd had a meeting with my tutor at the end of the academic year back in the summer and discovered that I was on track to finish the syllabus early. We had talked it over and I decided that I am going to use the time to just take a couple of months off when I have the baby and then take my exams next year. My tutor has no worries that I won't complete the course as I am so far ahead at the moment, he says it will give everyone else a chance to catch me up. I am planning on attending as long as I possibly can as it's not as if it is very strenuous, plus I know I have Gideon's complete support in this and he takes excellent care of Maisie for me so I can attend these classes. I am now driving after passing my practical test, which has made things much easier as I don't have to rely on waiting for Gideon to finish in the evenings. Maisie is also now back at school after the summer holidays. Gideon takes Maisie to school in a morning and Gran fetches her in the afternoon and keeps her for us until I finish. But now that I am done at 5pm and I have a car. Maisie and I are home by 5.45 each evening and then Gideon always tries to leave by 6pm. I realise that this comfortable routine is soon going to be coming to an end as I am finding it increasingly difficult to fit behind the steering wheel. However, I am rapidly heading towards my finish date when I stop working altogether to go on Maternity Leave. I am glad as to be honest this temporary office based role I now have just isn't enough for me. It is too easy, and I am bored out of my mind and I find myself wandering off to other departments to see if they need any help with anything to alleviate that boredom.
I run my hand over my now huge bump. This baby is a lot bigger than Maisie was and as a result I am also a lot bigger. My mind wanders back to the scan we had back when I was about 20 weeks and we found out the sex of the baby…
"Are you ready Angel?" I look up from the computer and see Gideon standing there waiting.
I look at my watch in surprise, "Shit, I didn't realise the time" I exclaim as I fumble to shut down what I am doing. I heave myself to my feet and taking Gideon's hand I walk out of the picking area to the lockers and grab my jacket and bag.
"Am I driving?" Gideon asks with a grin and I roll my eyes.
"You are asking stupid questions, aren't you?" I retort, knowing that even though I am now a fully qualified driver he isn't overly keen on being my passenger. It has nothing to do with my driving skills as he is the first to say I am, in his opinion, an excellent driver. No, it all comes down to Gideon having to have control in the car so I concede and let him have it.
We arrive at the hospital and after we are booked in we sit and wait for the sonographer and Gideon grips my hand tightly.
"Are we finding out the sex of the baby today?" he asks after a moment.
I shrug, "We can if you want to, I'm sure they will be able to know now" I say.
Before Gideon can answer my name is called and we make our way into the small examination room. The sonographer greets us warmly and I climb up on to the bed. Gideon sits beside me and reaches for my hand.
The sonographer looks at my notes, "You are 21 weeks is that correct?" he asks and I nod.
He smiles and runs the wand over my swollen stomach. "You are rather large for 21 weeks that's the reason I asked, we will soon find out if that is accurate" he says.
I watch the screen and see the baby, it is moving around and arms and legs are in constant motion and Gideon comments on it.
"Can you feel all that movement?" he asks and I nod.
"Yes, at first it was like having a load of butterflies flying about in there, but it is getting more pronounced now" I say.
The sonographer looks up and smiles, "It shouldn't be too long before you see and feel the movement for yourself" he says to Gideon.
Gideon is watching the screen mesmerised as the checks are all done.
"Well looking at the development your dates are spot on, you just have a big baby" the sonographer says with a smile.
"Will that cause problems?" Gideon asks immediately.
The sonographer shakes his head, "As long as your midwife is aware of it and keeps an eye on things there shouldn't be an issue. Obviously if the baby grows too large then there may be discussion about delivering by C Section but at the moment I don't think you need to concern yourselves with that" he says.
Gideon nods and returns his attention to the screen, "Can you see the sex of the baby?" he asks and the sonographer smiles again.
"I can indeed, baby Cross has been very obliging and given me a very clear shot of the view between her legs". He pauses and smiles at that.
I pick up on that immediately, "Her" I say and the sonographer nods.
"Yes, her. Congratulations, this appears to be a very healthy little girl" he says.
I watch Gideon and see the tears welling up in his eyes and his grip on my hand increases significantly.
"I have another daughter" he whispers and that makes my heart lurch. He had said he has another daughter, meaning that he really does look upon Maisie as his. He could easily have said I have a daughter as this child is biologically his but he chose not to.
The sonographer looks up, "This is your second child?" he asks and Gideon nods.
"We already have a daughter… she's five" he says quietly.
I squeeze his hand and he looks at me with such love I almost gasp, "another daughter" he repeats and I nod…
I am pulled from my thoughts by someone saying my name and I look up to see Kelvin smiling at me.
"Hey Kelv… How's Julie?" I ask warily as Kelvin had told me she had sadly suffered a miscarriage and lost the baby she was expecting.
He smiles sadly, "She's doing ok… she wants to try again, but I'm scared. I don't want her to go through something like that again" he says.
I reach for his hand, "Hey, she's a strong lady. If she feels she can cope then good for her" I say.
Kelvin smiles, "If I'm honest, I want to try again too but it was horrible… I don't want to go through that again either" he mutters.
I turn to face him, "Then you two need to sit down and talk to each other, tell each other your fears and work things out in your minds before you start trying again" I say.
Kelvin nods, "Yeah I know that and we will… I just want it to go right this time, I was so looking forward to being a dad and that desire hasn't gone despite what happened… The idea of having a real family of my own" he says. I look at him and my heart breaks for him, as he is so desperate to have what many people have taken for granted all their lives, a stable loving family.
"Anyway, what can I do for you?" I ask as I change the subject and get back to why he is here.
I watch as he nervously looks at me and shuffles from one foot to another. "Have you heard anything from Nathan… since… since Gideon adopted Maisie?" he asks.
I stiffen at the mere mention of Nathan's name and I shake my head. "No, our solicitor assured us he would write to him as a matter of courtesy to tell him that Maisie had been adopted by Gideon and that he no longer featured in her life. But no, he hasn't tried to contact me at all" I say, wondering where this is going.
Kelvin bites his lip as though he is wondering if he should say whatever it is he wants to say next. I look at him questioningly.
"Why, what's going on Kelv?" I ask, wondering if I am doing the right thing by asking.
"Well… you know how mum and I have disowned him and so he is basically on his own now" he begins and I nod. He hesitates and shrugs, "Not that mum knows what's going on anymore as she is off her head most of the time and I don't really have anything to do with her either" he adds, before pausing again.
"Well… Gaz still goes to visit him at times, but he came to see me asking if we had heard anything from him as he has stopped getting visiting orders from him. By all accounts the last time Gaz went to see him was shortly after the adoption hearing. He said Nathan had received a letter from your solicitor telling him that the adoption had been granted and that he was nothing to do with Maisie now. He said it also warned him what would happen if he tried to cause trouble when he is released".
My eyebrows rise at that, I had asked Charles to tell Nathan about the adoption ruling, but I hadn't asked him to do that. Not that I'm complaining, in fact I am grateful to Charles for doing it. Then I wonder if Gideon had something to do with that part, if he had asked Charles to warn Nathan.
"And?" I say.
Kelv looks at me carefully. "Gaz was shocked when he saw him that day. He said he looked like a different person… sort of broken. He said it was clear he was in some kind of deep depression about it all. He kept saying that he'd lost you. He said he really thought you'd wait for him and that you'd give him another chance, but you didn't and he said he had nothing to live for now… now I don't know if that was just manipulation to try and get me or mum to go and see him but we didn't and then it was after that, that everyone who regularly got visiting orders from him to go and see him suddenly stopped doing so".
I let out a small snort, "And what do you expect me to do?" I ask, "I have worked hard to remove that waste of space out of my life and it appears he has finally got the message. There is no way on this fucking earth that I am jeopardising that by contacting him. I have no reason to do so" I say slightly defensively.
Kelv shakes his head and holds up his hand, "No, I wouldn't expect you to. I was just wondering if he had contacted you at all?" he says.
I shake my head, "No, he hasn't" I reiterate.
Kelvin nods, "The thing is… he's a fucking twat, but he's still my brother. I know this could all be an elaborate game of manipulation to get me and mum to contact him, but Gaz did honestly seem worried about him when he saw him last and you know Gaz Price he doesn't give a shit about anyone".
I look at Kelvin carefully, "If you are looking for some kind of reassurance to contact him, I can't give you that. I never want to lay eyes on him again and as far as I am concerned, he could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a shit". Kelvin looks a little bit shocked at that but it is the truth.
"Honestly Kelv that is how I feel about him. After the shit he put me and Maisie through, he really is dead to me now. No, I hate him and never, ever want to see him again. But having said that, I get that he is your blood and it was a massive thing you did when you cut him off as you two went through a lot of stuff together as kids and you only had each other, so I get you have that bond despite everything. If I am honest… I was surprised when you disowned him and followed through with it. So, I also get you are probably worried sick about him now. The only way you can stop that worry is to write to him and talk to him… but please just don't involve me. I am happy now; I have a new life and one which is a million miles away from how it was when he was in it," I say firmly.
Kelvin thinks about that and nods, "Yeah, you're right and thanks Evie. I always said you were too good for him… you're so smart. But I have to write to him, just for my own peace of mind" he says.
I heave myself to my feet and give Kelvin a hug. "It'll be fine, you'll know if he is trying to pull a fast one and you'll be on your guard for it so just go with your gut and do what you think is right" I say.
Kelvin smiles and nods again. "Thanks Evie" he says gratefully.
"No problem Kelv" I say and I watch as he turns and walks away.
I look at the calendar and smile. We are now in mid-September, it is Gideon's birthday shortly and it reminds me I need to do something special for him, not that I could ever outdo what he did for my birthday and memories of our perfect wedding fill my mind. He'd had his birthday and just turned 24 shortly before I met him for the first time which leads me to realise that we are also coming up to the anniversary of when we first met. My hand runs over my bump and I smile. We have packed an awful lot into this first year we have been together and we have many more years to come. Gideon hasn't really mentioned what he wants to do for his birthday and I don't want to organise a party for him if he doesn't really want one. I know Gran has been eager to put on a bit of a tea for him as that is her thing when family celebrate their birthdays and I know Gideon loves spending time with my family. On the other hand I don't want to keep him away from his mum as this will be the first birthday she has been able to celebrate with him since he was a toddler. I decide the best thing to do is casually test the ground. I pick up the phone and call Elizabeth.
"Hello" she says as she answers.
"Hi… Elizabeth it's Eva" I say and she immediately greets me warmly asking me if I am ok and asking how the pregnancy is going. She is so excited at the prospect of becoming a grandmother. She has accepted Maisie now as Gideon's daughter but I get the sense that this baby is special as she is Gideon's.
"I'm fine, listen… my reason for calling is Gideon's birthday. I am wondering what to do. I want it to be special, but I don't want to organise a flashy surprise party if Gideon wouldn't be happy with that, but I also don't want to be selfish and keep him from you as this is the first birthday you will be involved with since he was a little boy". I stop and wait and the silence spreads out between us.
"I was actually talking to Geoff about this" Elizabeth says after a moment.
I smile, it was obvious that they loved each other dearly and it was Gideon's grandfather and his attitude which drove a wedge between them. Geoff knew no different and copied the way his father behaved thinking that was the right way. It is only now that everyone is realising how much time has been wasted down to the actions of that man. There will never be a full-on reconciliation as there is just too much hurt and water under the bridge for that. Geoff did too much to hurt Elizabeth and they both accept that. But the remarkable thing is they have managed to draw a line and move on. Initially it was purely for Gideon's sake, as they didn't want him to have to choose between them after he had been reunited with Elizabeth and so they called a truce after that day back at the house when it all came out about what had happened to Geoff and Hugh as children. They had talked everything out and come to an understanding and slowly over time that understanding became a real genuine friendship. It is obvious that deep down they still love each other dearly but too much has happened between them for the friendship which has now developed to become anything more, there is just still too much unresolved guilt and heartache to overcome.
"I don't know if you want to come down to Stoke and be here?" I ask, "My gran has been asking what we are going to do, generally speaking birthdays are always celebrated in our family. Gran always does a birthday tea for the person concerned and while it is a simple family affair… it's nice" I say.
"That sounds lovely" Elizabeth says immediately, "I like Sandra so I would be happy to come and help her organise something for Gideon if that is what is normally done" she says.
I smile as my mind goes back to granddads birthday tea shortly after I first met Gideon and the events of that night which changed both our lives forever.
"I'll call Sandra and see what she wants to do" Elizabeth says decisively, "We could turn it into a bit of a surprise for Gideon, let him think he is going to a family tea with your grandmother and your family and when you arrive we could all be there to surprise him". I smile as I think about that scenario and decide that would be a brilliant idea.
"That sounds great, Gideon likes things simple and understated but that would be a brilliant idea" I say, "Plus it would make everyone happy, Gideon gets simple and understated while I get to provide him with something special and you guys get chance to spend Gideon's birthday with him as well" I add.
"Yes, it sounds perfect to me. Geoff, suggested you coming to us, but I knocked that one on the head as you are so advanced in your pregnancy. I told him that we would be the ones doing the travelling this year".
I smile at that, "Thank you" I say gratefully as I was worried that in order for Gideon to spend time with his parents would involve a drive up to Manchester and while it's not that far and Maisie loves spending time there with Gideons family I just didn't have the inclination to do it at the moment.
"Have you decided on names yet?" Elizabeth asks changing the subject.
I run my hand over my bump, "Yes, when we found out we were having a little girl we already had a name in mind and we are going with it" I say, "We are only giving her one name. Maisie only has one – I have a middle name and so does Gideon but to be honest I could never see the point as I don't use my middle name, ever".
"Oh, what is it?" Elizabeth asks.
"Lauren" I say.
"That's a lovely name" Elizabeth says. "Gideon being the first born was given both his grandfather's and his father's names" Elizabeth says.
"Did Adam have a middle name?" I ask curiosity suddenly getting the better of me, I've always known that Gideon's full name was Gideon Geoffrey Cross, but I have never really asked about Adam.
"Adam was named after my dad, and his middle name was my grandfather's name, his full name was Adam Matthew Cross". Realisation hit me immediately as those were the two names Gideon had instantly put forward should our baby be a boy and now I see why. Adam, I had understood but I had wondered what the significance was with Matthew and now I know. At the time I had immediately thought of Kyle as his middle name is also Matthew.
"Well, our little girl isn't named after anyone. It is a name we both just liked and so we went for it. She is going to be called Lily" I say and Elizabeth gasps.
"Oh, that is a beautiful name" she says.
We talk for a while longer and then eventually we say our goodbyes and I return my attention to my work.