a/n: Apologies for disappearing. Despite not updating in what feels like forever this story has never been gone from my mind. There's been a lot of changes for me in the past several months. I am still working on the story but finding time to write has been difficult and I've hit a bit of a roadblock with the latest chapters. Work, however, should be slowing down now that the holidays are over and I will, hopefully, have more time for writing.

Thanks, of course, to Issai, who beta read this chapter a long time ago. Any remaining mistakes are my own doing.

summary: The fallout from Aramis' decision to kick his friends out of the hospital

Chapter 46

That night the Inseparables household is quiet and tense, except for the return of Porthos and Athos. d'Artagnan wakes from his nap on the couch to the garage door being slammed shut. Before he can wake up fully, Porthos and Athos are in the den. Athos slumps in the armchair while Porthos leans against the door frame.

"What's wrong," d'Artagnan asks, leaning back on the couch as he tries to clear out the tiredness.

"Aramis threw us out," Porthos says angrily.

"For the night?"

"Forever," Athos says, leaning back heavily in the chair.

"What happened? He can't mean forever." d'Artagnan looks between them, sitting forward as worry kicks in.

"Maybe." Porthos shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. He's angry, mad at us. Once he cools off, he may think differently. This isn't the first argument we've had."

"This isn't the same, Porthos," Athos says. He's tired and not just physically. The last several months have been hard on Aramis, but they've also put a strain on him. And right now, down here with Porthos and d'Artagnan is the last place he wants to be. He stands, sighing heavily. "This isn't the same and you know it, Porthos. We did the one thing that he won't stand for. He's done with us and I don't know, maybe that's for the best. It's not like we've done him any good lately." Athos is nearly out of the den by the time he finishes speaking. Silently, he heads upstairs, not glancing back at his brothers.

"What happened, Porthos," d'Artagnan asks. Athos' sudden departure only adds to the unsettled feeling, but he tries to set it aside to sort out the situation.

"Aramis found out about Megan and started asking questions. We didn't have much of a choice but to tell him everything."

"He's angry that we didn't tell him?"

"Partly, I think. But he's also all worked up over us not believing him earlier."

"But we couldn't know. Even the police said they wouldn't have been able to connect the people she used without more clues than we had."

"I know that. We just have to hope that Aramis realizes all of this." Even as Porthos works to absolve them all of some of the blame, he can't really assuage his own guilt. Aramis is his friend, his brother. He really should've believed him more, at least early on.

"What was Athos talking about? That one thing that we crossed the line?"

"We didn't trust him. None of us except Constance listened to him and believed that he might be right."

"She didn't though. She thought just the same as us."

"She listened though. She trusted that he knew what he was talking about unlike us. We didn't trust him."

"So what now? We just wait until he calms down and try talking with him? Would it help if I went?"

"No, Constance is the only one he'll allow. We might be able to get him to let in Sarah and the kids, but right now it's Constance. And we just wait. Pushing Aramis in this situation only riles him up more. I don't know how many times in that first year we had to be careful not to get him so worked up he'd run off. Angry Aramis we learned is an irrational Aramis and he's very liable to do stupid things."

"So we have to just leave it and hope it'll resolve?"

"We have to let reason win out. We'll talk to Constance. See about getting her to talk to him and make him see that we were just trying to help. We didn't mean him harm."

The next day Athos calls into work, which is no surprise to Porthos. He'd checked in on the man a few times during the night. While Athos would acknowledge him, he didn't want to talk. It frustrated Porthos because the one who could help him not only had kicked them out but had caused this. Before Aramis had come into their lives, Porthos had helped Athos in managing his depression. It wasn't always easy because Porthos just didn't understand in the way Athos needed him to and Athos wasn't always willing to talk, but they made things work. They needed to get this Aramis thing resolved quickly, if not for Aramis' sake, for Athos'. Aramis, Porthos decides on his way into work, needed to get his head out of his ass and realize that all they were trying to do was help him, not deliberately ignore his judgment. Honestly, he's sure that Aramis would've taken the same action as they did.

He thought that Constance and Treville would be on his side, but his conversation with them and d'Artagnan in Treville's office was quickly spirally out of his hands.

"I'm not going to spy on him for you, Porthos," Constance says, standing with her arms crossed in front of Treville's desk.

"I'm not asking you to spy on him." Porthos is on one side of the desk, where he was talking with Treville when Constance knocked, responding to Treville's request to see her.

"Has he given you permission to ask me about his health?"

Porthos curses, biting back his anger. "It's not like he's in some kind of protection. He's our friend and we just want to know how he's doing."

"He may be your friend, but at the moment he wants time away from all of you. It seems to me from what you've said about yesterday that he's made it clear that he wants a break."

"Constance, no, we're not asking you to spy on him," Treville interrupts, giving Porthos a stern look when the man begins to object. "Ask him if he's okay with it and if he is, give us updates. If he's not, then all you need to tell us if he's still recovering okay or not. Nothing more than that. As angry as you may be with him, Porthos," Treville says, looking at the man, "we do need to respect his privacy."

"Not to mention, if you want him to get over this quicker, backing off is probably the best way to go," d'Artagnan says from the couch. He's largely stayed out of the conversation. He's not sure where he stands on the whole situation other than he'd like them all to get over it and be a family again.

"There is that, too," Treville says, though he knows Aramis won't give this up easily. Once he's calmed down from his initial anger the hard work will really begin of trying to talk with him and getting him to see things from another perspective.

"Look, I know you want to help him, but right now the best way for you all to help him is to respect his wishes," Constance says. "They may have been made in anger, but you know as well as the rest of us that pushing him is the surest way to make him angrier. Let the dust settle, let him recover and we'll see what happens."

"Okay." Porthos reluctantly gives in. "But you have to convince him to let you keep us updated."

"I'm not going to convince him, Porthos. But I will talk to him about it. I'll go by after work today and see how he's doing. And I'll call you afterward. Don't call me or text me." Constance leaves with that warning, needing to get back to work. Porthos and d'Artagnan are set to leave as well when Treville calls out to them.

"You two have something more than Aramis to consider," he says.

"What," Porthos asks.

"How's Athos?"

"In another one of his moods. Aramis is the only one who can pull him out of it, so we have to get Aramis better first."

"And if Aramis chooses to leave us, what are you going to do? Leave Athos to deal with his depression on his own?"

"Aramis wouldn't leave," d'Artagnan says, a slight questioning mixed with the surprise.

"He might. Don't count on him right now," Treville says. "You two need to be there for Athos. From what you've said about what went on last night with Aramis, Athos is going to be feeling more guilt on top of the guilt and exhaustion he's already dealing with. You want to show Aramis that you're not like those soldiers who ditched him at the slightest mention of a demerit? Be there for Athos. Don't leave him behind in all of this. Understood?"

d'Artagnan and Porthos nod, giving their verbal agreement as well. Treville takes the chance to look at the half of the team that's still standing. He's certain that only d'Artagnan's really holding himself together well. Part of that is the lack of history with the group. He cares about them and he's invested in their friendship, but d'Artagnan's missing those six years of working and building trust that's been shattered. The larger part, though, he knows is that Athos and Porthos had spoken with him about taking a break. They'd given him the permission to take time for himself, something that the rest of his team was failing spectacularly in doing. If he's not careful, he realizes, he'll lose his best team. Yes, he wants Aramis back on the force, but he has to focus on what he can do. Aramis is out of their reach for the moment, but he's healing and, at the very least, accepting Constance's presence. That means that Treville can focus on his other two stubborn Musketeers: Porthos and Athos.

"Alright. Back to work and no staying late tonight. I don't care what comes up. Your team has put in more overtime in the last month than every other team. Go home when it's time. Nothing you're working on can't wait until morning," Treville says.

"Sure, Captain," Porthos says even though he'd rather spend his time working than going home.

"And take a real lunch break," Treville adds as the two leave his office. He knows they've been taking shorter lunches and eating from the vending machines. His men are falling apart and he can't let that happen.

Constance's trip to see Aramis that evening is awkward. She feels a nervousness that's not normal when she sees him. They're good friends, had become quick friends after she joined. When he first approached her, she expected him to hit on her and she was ready to put him in his place. But he'd come to welcome her instead, extending the offer of friendship. She appreciated the respect he showed her.

Visiting him before hasn't ever been a problem but knowing that she is the only one he'd see added a certain pressure. She doesn't appreciate his actions, putting all of this on her, visiting him and keeping the others at bay, dealing with their insistence on knowing what's going on with him. Once things are more settled between her and Aramis, when she knows that she won't be the next one kicked out, she'll have to have a word with him about that. They've always been honest with each other and she's not going to let this fiasco stop that.

She finds him dozing when she walks into his room. The nurses said that he'd slept much of the last night and today. There'd been some concern after his outburst that another sedative might be needed, but exhaustion won out. He still hasn't eaten anything, but given his mood, they'd not really tried.

With a quiet sigh, she settles in to wait. It's not long before Aramis begins to stir. She waits still, letting him come back to awareness and discover her presence. Part of it is that she knows he prefers this to being spoken to right when waking and part of it is she still doesn't know how she's going to talk to him about his decisions and what the others are asking of her. Ultimately, she knows she's going to have to read his mood to determine how far she can go with the discussion today. If she pushes him or makes him feel pushed, she could get kicked out as well.

With a barely concealed sigh, she curses the men in her life. She's used to men and their quirks having all brothers for siblings, but she never thought that work would be just like growing up. They'd all screwed up in some way and none were willing yet to admit it, except Athos and that's mostly because guilt is his middle name. And currently, that guilt was eating him. Hopefully, Porthos and d'Artagnan would be able to help him. Being so new to the Musketeers, she doesn't exactly what's going on with him, but she can pick up on clues. It's more than just guilt over his role in all of this.

"Constance?" Aramis' voice is rough with sleep and startles her out of her thoughts. She grabs the pitcher of water, pouring some into a cup for him. He thanks her quietly for the cup, taking a few sips.

"I didn't expect you here," he says after a pause.

"Am I not allowed?" It takes work to keep the irritation from her voice.

"No, you're fine. I just thought you'd be somewhere else."

"You've kicked out the rest of your friends, Aramis. You have no one else to keep you company except me." Her voice is stern and she feels some hesitation as she speaks, wondering if she's going to set off his anger, too. Still, she can't help but speak her mind and he's always appreciated that she's direct about her thoughts.

"They didn't listen to me, Constance. They put me in that situation, this situation. If it hadn't been for them, I'd be fine." He starts pushing himself up, the effort making his heartbeat pick up. Constance notices the change and decides to put an end to this discussion. Now's not the best time for it anyway, not right after he's made the decision and tensions are still high. She'll never get anywhere with him if the nurses have to come in and force her to leave for the night.

"Let's put all of that aside for now. They've decided to leave you be, but they do want to know if I'll keep them updated on how you're doing," Constance says. "I told them that I'd ask you how much you're okay with me telling them."

"Just… um…" Aramis lays back on the bed as he thinks.

After a long pause, she says, "How about, for now, I just let them know that you're still doing well and recovering."

"Yeah. That… that will work."

A part of her is pleased that he can't get himself to so easily cut them out of his life. There's hope in that pause, in the hesitation.

"Sarah and the kids can come by if they want. They're fine, too."

"I'll let them know, but you should also tell her. She'll want to hear from you about how you're doing. I know the kids have been quite concerned."

"Have they stopped by?"

"They've been busy with school and there was some worry about disturbing you."

"Oh."

There's a silence then that fills the room. With Aramis, Constance suspects there's a lingering exhaustion and depression as well as an inability to say what he really wants to say. For her, she's at a loss of what to say. His anger over the others and their actions is still there. Still, there's the clear longing for them, but she knows it's not safe to push that yet.

"Have your mom and sisters been by recently," she asks finally, some trepidation in her voice.

"They were by the other day, but they had to go back home. Maria needs to get back home to Olivia and mom needed to get home as well, especially with me doing better."

"I have to say, it was nice to meet some of your family, despite the circumstances."

"They enjoyed meeting you guys, too. They kept going on about what nice friends I have." Constance doesn't miss the snippiness in his voice.

"Hopefully, it won't take a near-death situation for us to meet them again."

"No, now that she knows for sure where I live, I think mom's going to figure out the train to get herself up here. I just hope I have some warning before she plans on coming up."

"I'm sure she'll give you some warning."

"Yeah, she'll call me from the train as she's coming into Union Station, telling me to come pick her up."

"That much warning? I thought she'd take the metra up to your stop and call as she's getting off the train." Constance knows that that's what her brothers, except for Paul, would do.

"She might just do that, depending on her mood. I do wish she would give me more warning though. I need some time to prepare for her coming."

On one side, Constance understands his need, but she thinks that surprise might be good for him in the end. He won't have time to worry about his mom coming. She's learned that from Paul. Sometimes he needs to know what's coming, but there are times when telling him just makes the days leading up worse as he's caught up with anxiety and worry about the big day. It's a delicate balance and while they've learned to tell which situation is which, Paul's also gotten better at telling them.

"Well, you'll have to let us know when she does come. I know I'd like to spend more time with her, maybe get some stories about you growing up from her," Constance says, smiling lightly.

"Oh, she'd be glad to tell them. So would my sisters. One sitting and you'll have my entire childhood from them." Aramis allows himself a small smile. There's another silence that fills the room. Constance finds herself on the verge of speaking a few times, hesitation and concern stopping her each time. She needs to leave soon so she can take care of some housework before going to bed for the night, but there is one issue she wants to address with him before she leaves. The question is, how much will it anger him?

"I've got to head out soon, but I want to ask you something, Aramis," she says, waiting until she has his attention before continuing. "What're your plans?"

"My plans? What do you mean? After this? When I'm better?" Aramis' confusion is genuine, that Constance sees clearly.

"No, right now. I don't care about later. That's too far out to think. What're you planning for now?"

"I don't understand." This time, Constance sees, he's playing dumb and she has to force her irritation down.

"Your recovery. For example, walking around, eating on your own? Those sorts of things. Do you have plans for them?"

"I'm recovering, Constance." He's defensive, which Constance takes as a good sign. There's fight in him.

"And are you just going to let the recovery happen or do you have goals, plans? What do you want to do?"

"I want out of here, Constance," he says quietly after a pause.

"Then you know you're going to have to do something more than let them move your arms and legs around. And no, I'm not talking about planning the next great hospital escape," she adds quickly. The last thing she wants is Aramis trying to escape and everyone finding out that she encouraged him. She knows his track record. Aramis isn't one to sit around and wait for things to come. None of the Musketeers are. But she also sees what the others are unwilling to see. Aramis is still depressed and in that depression, he's turned passive. That's a dangerous mindset and not just for Aramis.

"How about a deal," Constance says.

"I'm not a child."

"No, you're not, but that doesn't mean that you can't get rewards for doing things."

Aramis pauses for a long moment before sighing. "Alright, what's your idea?"

"I'll be back tomorrow evening and by then, I want to hear from you that you've found out when you're going to be able to try walking."

"Walking? I thought this was going to be about food."

"You'll eat when you're ready," Constance says. She suspects it's more he'll eat when he finally has to. Want isn't something in his mindset right now. But once he can start moving around, he'll need more food.

"Okay." There's some hesitation in his voice like he can't believe he's gotten away with a big plot or something. Constance ignores it, going on with her deal.

"You ask and I'll bring you in your Fire Stick so you can watch something more than the few channels you have here. I think you have about a month's worth of your Arrowverse shows to catch up on."

Aramis perks up at that offer then sits back. "Deal, but don't tell d'Artagnan that he got me hooked."

"Don't you remember? I'm only letting them know if you're still doing well. So, make sure to find out when you're going to be able to get back to walking so I can just keep telling them that you're doing well."

"Yeah, they're more likely to stay away with that sort of news," Aramis says wryly.

"I doubt that's the reason. They're respecting your wishes, Aramis. They're listening to and hearing you like you've wanted them to do." Constance can't help the emphasis she places on her words, but she does try to keep her tone down. Aramis is cooperative and she's not going to do anything to ruin that. "Now, is there anything you need before I leave?"

"No." Aramis shakes his head. "Thanks for coming by. I appreciate the company."

"I don't mind at all." She bites her tongue at the thought that he could have more company if he hadn't chased them all off. Now's not the time to hash things out. She says her goodbyes and leaves him, telling him to get some sleep. His tiredness wasn't missed by her. Part of it's the depression, but part of it is still his body recovering. Hopefully, with some good rest and an attitude shift, some of that exhaustion will be taken care of.