Season 9:

It's Always You

~Alden~

"Don't let me go."

Clary's words ring in my head as I look down at her, asleep in my arms. She still has her boots and belt on, the handles of her weapons digging into her hip. She doesn't have the Python that once belonged to Rick anymore, but I know it's not something to ask about.

I gently place Clary down on my bed, making sure she doesn't wake. I unlace her boots, placing them on the floor by the chair and kicking off my boots beside them. Clary's fast asleep as I take her jacket off, not even stirring. I take her weapons belt off last, stacking her jacket and belt on the chair.

I pick up her dagger, looking down at my work again. I press a kiss to it for luck before placing it on top of her weapons belt.

I turn back to my bed, Clary with her arm outstretched as if she's searching for me. I have to take a second to just stare—never once did I think we'd end up here, let alone think that Clary would reciprocate my feelings. It just doesn't seem real. But this is real. This isn't a dream. I used to dream of Clary admitting she cared for me, and I dreamt of having the guts to tell her how I feel myself.

I'll still dream of her, I think as I pull the blankets over us, pulling Clary into my arms again.

"When I drift off, I'll dream of you," I whisper, stroking her hair with one hand. "It's always you."

~Clary~

It's the dead of night when I shoot awake with a small gasp, realizing with relief that the dream that I was having was just that—a dream. I look around, at first in confusion at having fallen asleep in a different room. There's someone spooning me, two arms wrapped around me and keeping me close to his chest.

My big spoon turns in his sleep, lying on his back. I flip to my other side to face him, finding Alden lying beside me. I look around again, my heart warming when I see that Alden has taken my boots, jacket, and weapons belt off before he went to sleep beside me.

Alden jerks in his sleep, mumbling, "No, no, please." He gasps, crying out, "No! No, no! Please! No! I'll give you anything! No!"

"Hey, hey, Alden!" I rush, scrambling closer to him. I straddle him, resting my hand on his cheek and leaning down. "Hey, wake up! Wake up, Alden! Wake up! It's me!"

Alden wakes, gasping, still stuck in his dream. I know that feeling better than anyone, the nightmare not letting you go so easily, even after you're awake.

"Alden, it's me, it's Clary," I continue, stroking his cheek, trying to ground him. "Hey, it's me, Alden. It's alright. Just look at me. You're safe. You're safe, Alden, you're safe with me."

Alden's shaking too much to even try to respond.

"Just look at me, Alden. I've got you. You're safe."

"I wasn't the one in danger," Alden manages, his voice a whisper. I sit back on his legs as he pushes himself up, cupping my face. "It was you. The skins had you and demanded a trade, but there was nothing I could give them. So they killed you, right in front of me."

"I dreamt you were killed," I admit, resting my hands on his hips, my thumbs brushing his skin underneath his shirt. "It's you they kill in the nightmares the most. Whether it's someone like the skins or it's a walker bite. You don't know how many I had after the Saviors almost killed you."

"I think about that day a lot," Alden murmurs. I start to pull his shirt off, and Alden rests his hand on top of mine, asking, "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry. I just… I need to be close. I have this… this thing. I just need to see, to feel, to know that you're not hurt. That you're not bitten."

"It's because of Carl, isn't it?"

"Shit, Alden, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to bring him into this. I've come to terms with his death, and we're together now."

"No, Clary, I'm trying to say that I understand. It's okay." Alden pulls his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor. "See? I'm okay. We're okay."

"You don't realize how much I needed that," I murmur, resting my hand against his stomach where he had been bitten in my dreams, the same place Carl was bitten. "Thank you."

"Were you just trying to see me shirtless?" Alden teases, trying to lighten the mood.

I can't help but give him a grin. "It's a perk."

"C'mere," Alden says, lying down again and pulling me with him. I get settled beside him as he wraps his arms around me, holding me against his chest. "I said earlier that I thought about that day with the Saviors. It's more like… like I think about one part the most."

"When I tore out Kober's throat," I assume. "Yeah, I think about that a lot, too. Gracie found out about that."

"That's actually not the part that I think about. I think about how you kissed me, about the pledges we made that night. I never thought we'd be where we are now, so I dreamt instead."

"You dream about me?" I question, surprised. I had a few dreams about Alden in the past, including a couple that kept me in bed. I'd never admit that out loud, though.

Alden presses a kiss to the back of my neck. "It's always you."