Hey everyone ! I've been a bit on fire these past days, releasing chapters everyday and stuff but i just couldn't stop myself from writing ! I'm not sure the updates will continue to be that fast but i'll try to keep them up !
We finished the first arc ! I'm glad because in the end, it wasn't at all what i had planned but it's even better. But i'm also a bit scared because since it took a different path, i have no idea where i'm going (but i'm going anyway) ! Saito and Chizuru are ahead of a lot of difficulties, that i can say ! I'm happy because there's a lot of people commenting or sending private messages and you all seem to like my story a lot so THANK YOU ! And don't worry Yuki's fans ! I'm not putting her character aside and she's still there even if Saito confessed. I will not abandon Yuki in the cemetery of the « useless side characters ». Enjoy the rest of the story ! Second arc starts now !
August 1865
Hijikata-san reunited all the Shinsengumi captains and high ranked to speakabout Sakamoto. I didn't really tell him how i got the name but he supposed that i used Yu... Chizuru, to get the intel just how he intended to and, in a way, he wasn't really wrong.
« Alright. This Sakamoto is a well known guy. » started Hijikata-san. « Yamazaki, can you do a brief summary ? »
« Hai, Fukuchô ! » replied the ninja « Sakamoto has been in the Tosa Imperialist party for a long time before the Tosa decided to track them down. From what we know, Tosa clan is still officially affiliated with the shogunate but having Sakamoto as an emissary is something we should look into. The guy is supposed to have let his affiliations with the imperialists behind him and is officially working for the Bakufu as a Navy Ingenieur. He's trying to modernize our warships to make some new ones, closer to the europeen ships. He's supposed to be working full time there in both Nagasaki and now Osaka. What business he has in Kyoto though, we still don't know. But we know that he stayed at Terada-ya, an imperialist inn, and that he had already met with some Choshu officials. He also has good connections with the Satsuma. To be fair, we don't know which side this man's on, yet. »
We all let the informations dig in. Only i wondered, if Sakamoto was really that important and surely a double agent, then why did he blow his cover so easily with Yukimu... Chizuru. Nearly a month after our first kiss but it still was hard for me to call her Chizuru. The hiding of our relationship, if we could call it that way, wasn't really helping. In front of the others, she was still Yukimura and only once we were alone, i would call her Chizuru. For her, things were easier i guess, she was still calling me Saito all the time. We didn't talk about it, i didn't wanted to make her uncomfortable. Maybe it was too soon for her to call me Hajime... Since i've kissed Chizuru, i haven't went to see Yuki. Not that i was avoiding her but i just didn't get the time. I still had the hairpin for her, the wooden one with the fox head. I should drop by to give it to her but i felt like it would be betraying Chizuru. I should maybe talk to her about Yuki... Or maybe not... I didn't know how she would react and i wasn't ready to screw this off already.
« Saito, have you learnt some more ? »
« Unfortunately not. I only got his name at Gion's festival but that's it. I think however that the man should be under surveillance since he has a lot of connections with the imperialists. » i explained as if i wasn't lost in my thoughts seconds ago.
« Alright. We're gonna keep an eye on him. Yamazaki, Shimada ? » said Kondou-san.
« We're on it. » answered Shimada without an hesitation.
« Good. Any other topic we should discuss? » asked Kondou-san.
« Nothing of importance. » replied Hijikata-san. « Everyone can dismiss. »
All the captains stood up to go to their obligations or anything else and i bowed in respect before exiting the room.
In the courtyard, the heat was unbearable. I had the feeling that Kyoto summers were worse and worse each year and i couldn't wait for the autumn to arrive. I saw Yukimur... Chizuru in the distance who was hanging some laundry. In her hakama, just as usual, she looked like any other page. Only I knew the taste of her lips. But i knew nothing more. Chizuru was still innocent and i couldn't bring myself to taint her even if i desired it so much. It sometimes got frustrating but the prospect of sharing my life with her was worth the wait.
Souji next to me waved to Yukimura.. Chizuru in the distance and she waved back.
« Oye, Chizuru-chan ! I'm going on a round » yelled Souji « do you want to come ? »
She took a second before answering him.
« Sorry Okita, i have to finish the laundry first. Saito, i have your kimono. I'll bring them in your room in a moment. »
« Alright. » i just said.
Souji shrugged and greeted me before getting his blue uniform. He had been doing less rounds lately. Even if he was keeping his tuberculosis a secret, everyone could tell that something was odd. It was a common understanding. Everyone knew, no one talked about it. I got back in my room to get away from the burning sun and in no time, Chizuru was there.
With all the missions, all the rounds, all the chores... I couldn't be with her as often as i wanted. She blushed and put the pile of kimonos she was holding near my folded futon.
« Are you going on any rounds, Saito ? » she asked me casually.
« I have one in the evening. Since the Rasetsu took the night rounds, we have less work. » i answered.
« Okay then. » she told me, smiling, and she already opened the shoji to get out.
I wanted to tell her to stay for a while but it was just how things were. We never exchanged much more than this. She never had been with me at night, never had we shared anything else than that hidden kiss and i was torn between wanting more and the desire to protect her honor. After all, she was a kid not so long ago and i wasn't in position of marrying her right now. My duty towards the Shinsengumi was greater than any other feeling. For the moment, knowing that she was loving me back was enough.
I took the pile of kimonos to store them and sighed before taking a look at my swords. They already needed to be oiled again and i went outside to do it.
In a way, nothing had changed. I was still going on my missions, still doing my rounds and still polishing my swords. I didn't know what i wanted. It had something reassuring because Chizuru didn't expect me to change or anything but in the meantime, it also felt like our relationship wasn't really one. Was it anyway ? Can we call a kiss without tomorrow a relationship ? My head which was supposed to be calm all the time was now crowded with contrary thoughts. Is that was love is supposed to be ? It was exhausting.
« Oye Saito, would you mind giving me a hand ? » i heard Inoue say, hands full with groceries.
I put my swords back in their scabbards and nodded before joining him and take some of his bags.
Nothing had changed.