HAPPY HANUKKAH חנוכה שמח MERRY CHRISTMAS felicem natalem Christi

[a/n]Old-Crow "Immediately after second year, Dobby goes off on the Malfoys. Within a hour, the Malfoy vaults are emptied and the manor is torched. The moral of the story is never piss off a newly freed elf. Without any money, the Malfoys are friendless and without protection from the box of dark contraband and ledger of bribes that found its way to Amelia's office."

Harry Does Different CCLXXXIII

Not Just Poor

-OCOCOCOCOC—

The old scribe presented his latest work and McGonagall received it with her usual critical eye "I shall give it the attention it deserves, Mr. Crow. I have, at the moment, another assignment to issue."

"Professor." Another author entered the office and gave a respectful bow, then irreverently quipped at his fellow author "How ya doin' Oldee?"

Crow frowned in mock-outrage "You got more grey on your head than I do!"

"Boys boys!" the stern professor scolded "None of that in MY office! Now shake hands or I'll dock points."

The pair complied, except the new arrival had palmed a hand buzzer. He let it go after about 10 seconds.

"Not at all amusing Mr. Jackson!" came a sharp tongue lashing "That will be 10 points from Ravenclaw! Mr. Crow, please accept my apologies. But I do note you are not entirely blameless. Now, if you'll excuse us, despite his behavior, Mr. Jackson is best suited to this project."

Joe backed considerably from the door, exaggerating his movements comically as Crow departed. He just smiled "Your wish is my command, Professor."

"Indeed." Said McGonagall, eyeing him with some disfavor "At least Mr. Crow has the wisdom to SEEM innocent. Very well, Mr. Jackson. I am sure you must have noticed Mr. Malfoy seems a very different personality so far this year. I admit, the changes are largely positive BUT Mr. Malfoy rarely does something without reason. I would appreciate a report on the whys and wherefores."

The author nodded acceptance "I promise one that will be both complete and conclusive." Prior to exiting, he peeked out, glancing down both directions of the corridor. As he headed away, about 5 gallons of water landed on his head "CROWWWWWWWWW!"

Even alone in her office McGonagall would not even smile at even a well executed prank. However, the lucky student whose essay she just finished reading, received an E instead of an A.

-OCOCOCOCOC—

"Your parents were meddlesome fools too Potter!" Lucius Malfoy blustered from the other end of the corridor through which he'd just been blasted "One day, you'll meet the same sticky end!"

After the adult wizard stormed off, Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Harry Potter freed Dobby!" the abused creature looked up at the boy worshipfully "Dobby will do ANYTHING great Harry Potter sir asks! ANYTHING!"

The young wizard's initial thought was 'Never try to save my life' but the response died somewhere between his brain and his tongue. Instead "Tell me, my little friend, would you like to help Harry Potter sir get back at bad old master?"

"Dobby want! Dobby want!" was the enthusiastic answer, then more subdued "Dobby may not harm a witch or wizard."

Harry gave a look of confusion "But you just blasted Malfoy about twenty yards."

"Elf magic very demanding Harry Potter sir." Replied Dobby, seemingly irrelevant at first "Dobby not really hurt bad old master. Harry Potter sir's LIFE was in danger. Dobby would STILL have to prevent Harry Potter sir from killing bad old master."

Harry stood there thinking, it sounded vague familiar somehow, then asked "Does this mean harm in ANY way? Or just physically? With magic?"

"There is other types of harm, sir?" asked Dobby, rather unsure.

Harry lit up like a Christmas tree "OH! That's perfect!" he all but squealed "Tell me, did you ever go shopping for Mr. Malfoy? How about Gringotts?"

"Dobby would." He replied "All the time. First goto Gobbies get Galleons then store."

Harry was giddy with the possibility "We should act on this FAST! Mr. Malfoy will tell Gringotts not to let you in. How much can you take?"

"Dobby does not know sir." The elf replied, completely innocently "Dobby would only take what was needed for shopping."

Harry's mind raced, he pulled his wand and conjured a scroll and quill, wrote out "Tell the Goblins that Mr. Malfoy is worried about a tax audit. He wants all the contents of all his vaults moved to a new vault. He will pay ALL moving expenses, naturally. The vault will be in your name so Inland Revenue can't find it. Can you do that?"

"Oh yessir Harry Potter sir!" Dobby was bouncing with eagerness "Not the first time bad old master tricksie stupid Minister."

Harry thought that might be interesting to explore another time "Great! Wonderful! We'll figure what to do with the money later. Off you go. Oh, by the way, Draco is a little git, but he shouldn't suffer. Before the move is done, have Gringotts pay for all the rest of his Hogwarts schooling."

"Harry Potter is the mostest generousest wizard ever!" squealed Dobby "Even good to bad little master!"

To which he had to repress the urge to box the little guy's ears "Fine fine let's just NOT tell anyone, alright? Don't want anyone knowing how kind I am to Draco." And he was almost relieved when the puff of smoke announced the elf's departure.

Abcij

"Hello!" exclaimed Dobby as he popped into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express "Harry Potter sir's mission is done. Dobby has all bad old master's Galleons."

Harry clamped a hand, too late, across the elf's mouth "You weren't supposed to announce it to the world!"

"What did you do Harry? Who is this?" Hermione demanded.

Ron already knew "He looks like pictures I seen of Cubby. From back when House Weasley was rich and owned elves."

"Owned? Wizards OWN people? Like slaves?" she did not look happy.

Dobby clapped delightedly "Oh yes! Cubby was Dobby's father! He was the first with bad old master. Cubby so sad to leave Master Septimus."

"Harry you should be careful." Warned Ron "If he's still with Malf-"

Dobby shook his head vehemently "No sir! Master Weasley! Harry Potter sir freed Dobby. Now Dobby works for Harry Potter sir!"

"And how is Harry working you?" Hermione cast a reproachful look at her friend.

Elf ears flapped wildly "Oh Harry Potter sir has many tasks. Harry Potter sir helped Dobby get back at-"

"Hush!" commanded Harry "Let's not say anything too loudly. Suffice it to say, Dobby and I have had a most profitable relationship after he stopped Lucius from murdering me."

Ron and Hermione screeched "WHAT!?"

Almost simultaneously, the little elf vanished in a puff of smoke and the compartment door slammed open "Well. Another year where blood-traitors and Mudbloods triumph over their betters."

"Quite so, Draco." Harry gave his friends a look, while speaking in a pleasant tone "I gave ole Tom another thrashing. Don't seem to do that well against Potters, does he? But yeah, we're lower than Malfoys. Never know when that might change."

The Slytherin glared "Tom? What are you talking about."

"You never knew?" he was almost gleeful "Don't get nervous. I'm not going to curse you or anything, but I'm going to bring out my wand. Watch this." He spelled out TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE.

Draco grunted, unimpressed "So? Not a Pureblood name." his bodyguards yucked in agreement.

"You know more about that than me, I imagine." Harry shrugged, unconcerned, then flicked his wand as the teenage specter had "Watch the magic letters reveal the name of Lord Jumble hisself." And when the fiery display finished rearranging itself I AM LORD VOLDEMORT

Everyone in the compartment, except Harry, gasped at the sight. Draco recovered well "You lie Potter! Wait'll my father hears of this!"

"Enjoy your summer, Draco." Said Harry pleasantly and after pushing the door shut he chuckled "That was fun. Dobby! Bad little master won't be back … I think."

A faint pop and he hugged the young wizard's legs "Harry Potter sir is bestest ever! What orders does Harry Potter sir have now?" Dobby bounced eagerly.

"Off you go for now. I'll call you when I get to the Dursleys' and we can start phase two." Commanded Harry, but kindly "We just can't be sure of not being overheard. Just look out for some interesting stories and rumors this summer."

Hermione looked displeased "Oh come on Harry! Rumors are only as good as the source. You should know that after what's been said about you. And what are you doing with a slave?"

"Dobby is an EX slave." He clarified "Ron? You'll make sure anything interesting in the Wizarding World comes through to us poor Mudbloods? Right mate? Especially if it happens to be about those noble Malfoys. Now, sorry, we still got a long ride. Think I'll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Hermione nudged him, rather forcefully, to nil effect.

Abcij

pop "Harry Potter sir calls his Dobby?" and he appeared in the smallest bedroom of #4 Privet Dr. "Dobby not like this place before. Dobby STILL not like this place."

Chuckling, the imprisoned wizard replied "One thing at a time my friend. You have the ability to monitor us, I mean humans, don't you?"

"Yessir, Harry Potter sir." Was the excited reply.

Nodding, he'd had time to work through his thoughts "Figured as much. A side question, can we take my name down a notch? I DON'T need Harry Potter sir every sentence." At the worried look he added "Well, you think about it and we'll talk again. Now, phase 2. You said you can't hurt humans, got that. Does that apply to a building?"

"No sir, Harry Potter sir." Was the less compliant answer.

Holding up a cautioning hand "I understand and if you need it, I'll say DO NOT let anyone get hurt. Not humans not other elves. If they have a pet get them out too. When the Malfoys go out…and I bet they will once they discover what happened in Gringotts…Is your magic strong enough to destroy the house?"

"Not all of it Harry Potter sir." looking despondent "Dobby might knock down part. Malfoy castle be big. Or Dobby could make fire inside. Castle still be standing though."

Blinking in surprise, but finally realizing "Figures Malfoy would have one, don't it? Whatever you can do is good enough. Any chance they have some other stashes of money or jewels in the castle? If you could sneak that into your vault before…well as much as you can."

"Dobby knows Dobby knows!" he acknowledged.

Harry grinned at the return of enthusiasm "Well, hop to it then. And don't worry about me. Just watch them until they're all out. Then trash the place good. OH! One more thing! YOUR safety come first. Right Dobby?"

"Harry Potter sir is the kindest of all wizards!" declared Dobby with all the surety of saying water is wet.

DAILY PROPHET

JULY 3 1993

Malfoys Destitute

A thoroughly fascinating week in the financial world. Last week we reported on the devastation of the ancestral Malfoy home. While the garden and productive land are undamaged, the magnificent castle was gutted by fire on June 30. The structure is centuries old, far older than the clan itself, but acquired from Muggle nobility in the mid 1700s. The interior has graced the cover of many magazines over the ensuing centuries as the epitome of Slytherin-themed décor. Many wonderful works of art; paintings, statues; were lost. A small number managed to escape unscathed, others have varying degree of damage.

This publication mourns the loss of so many precious historical artifacts.

The disastrous fire led to uncovering another catastrophe. Horribly distressed over the loss, Duke Malfoy immediately went to Gringotts to fund the rebuilding of his home and restoration of his fine collection. This was not to be. It seems the noble lord was too trusting with his vault key. An unidentified employee who was dismissed from his service completely emptied every known Malfoy vault, and a few previously NOT known.

"The employee had access, with no restriction, at the time of the transaction." Senior Manager Grit, Gringotts Spokegoblin, issued a brief statement that Lord Malfoy denounced as callous "The bank would have denied access had we been notified in a timely manner. While regrettable, our internal investigation confirms no law was broken, no Gringotts procedure was violated. The former lord may appeal, if he can pay the fee. And, no, the bank has no further comment on the transaction."

Malfoy troubles continue from that. The Wizengamot has suspended House Malfoy's voting rights. The minimum requirement for Ancient or Noble status is proven wealth of GG5,000,000. A House gains representation and one vote at this level. House Malfoy holds seven, plus proxy for 21 others. It would still be another two generations before the Malfoys could be nominated for Ancient and Noble status. A future session will have to determine the case.

Lucius Malfoy, his son Draco and wife Narcissa nee Black, are currently staying with the Goyle family. A fine example of friends helping friends, we commend His Grace Goyle for assisting a friend in need. This publication wishes the Malfoy family well in its effort to restore its status. The only saving grace at the moment, we can confirm that Draco's full tuition for Hogwarts was paid recently, through graduation. If the worst comes to pass, the young man will still benefit from a solid education.

by:Justa Ru Moor

Molly Weasley's summer lessons to her children were interrupted by the arrival of a news-owl. George let out a howl of joy "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAHHHHHHHH!"

"You're hurting my ears." Ginny complained grumpily. Her first year was far from the fun time she'd been told of Hogwarts. And it still carried over. The Weasleys were unable to help much.

The front page was passed from one male to another "Try reading more than the comics, Ronald." Percy chastised his youngest brother.

"We really shouldn't celebrate someone else's misery." Mr. Weasley tried to scold his children, but it rather lacked authority.

The whole event was interrupted by a pop And Ron, around a mouthful of biscuit, explained "This is Dobby. He's Cubby's kid."

"Mr. and Missus Wheazey?" the elf acknowledged "I is Dobby. I be ordered to ask Gi-nev-ey Wheazey see mind doctor. Master says those who did hurt should fix. Here Galleons from Dobby vault. Help Gi-nev-ey Wheazey. When more needed call Dobby."

As the puff of smoke announcing his departure dissipated, the Weasleys gasped in awe at the treasure bag that was straining the center of their kitchen table.

abcij

Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones were feeling very adult, floating around in the redhead's pool in the nude. Each floatie was equipped with a drink holder, pumpkin juice only, they weren't that adult.

"HELLO!" exclaimed a high-pitched voice emanating from a cloud of smoke "Madamey Bonesey here?"

Both young witches squealed in outraged surprise at the intrusion to their sanctuary and overturned themselves in a vain effort to protect their modesty. Shooting furious looks they both demanded of the intruder "What d'you want? Who sent you?"

"Ise Dobby." declared the house-elf, oblivious to any wrong he might've committed "Master Harry Potter sent Dobby with two books from bad old Master. Book one made bad things happen to Hoggies. Great Harry Potter defeated big snake killed bad book. Book two from bad old Master secret place all bad old Master secrets."

Susan managed to swim to the edge of her pool, pressing her body against the side, and stammered "We-well th-th-thank y-you D-di-Dobby. I'll muh-make sure Auntie guh-gets it."

"Dobby thanks missy Bonesey. BYE!" he bowed and disappeared in the same cloud.

The blonde witch slapped the water and declared "I am so going to hex Harry Potter for this!"