June 30th came to Godric's Hollow.
The sun shone. Birds sang. The air hung fresh and wonderful over everything, but despite his pleasant surroundings, a shadow draped James Charlus Potter like a fouled blanket.
Ever since March, none of the town's wizarding population had enjoyed much of anything.
Only a year ago James couldn't have imagined his current situation. He stood in his own home, but the circumstances of his company were not what he would have wished.
March changed everything. None of their lives would ever be the same, and… What we saw—it was only a taste of what's going on out there—what Voldemort can do. And what's to come… Penny came to me for help, but I had to do it half-heartedly—had to not trust her because she was Slytherin. And—He didn't even want to think the last part, but he made himself do it. She… paid for my prejudice.
I was worried about Snape, but Severus was the better man all last year… He stopped being childish, chose the side of the Light. He changed. And maybe if I'd been willing to look, I'd have seen he wasn't just acting differently, but he looked different too. He was downright pleasant—up until January, anyway. Then he started getting broody—but even then, he wasn't his old dark self. If anything, he was obsessed over fighting what threatens us all.
James shifted on uneasy feet.
But I couldn't accept that. I had to be blind—selfish. I've got to do better now, make up for it, no matter what it takes. I owe Severus my life, my friends' lives…
Lily sat at the other end of the couch in the sitting room, a Wizard's chess board set on a small table in front of her. She hated me last year. Guess now I understand why. She's got every reason to never speak to me again, let alone stay at my house for summer holiday. But there she sat, green eyes distant, lost in thoughts she refused to share.
Here at James' house, Lily was quiet, preferring to listen instead of chat about silly things. She was shy—something James never noticed before. Odd, since he'd been so sure he was in love with her. Lily was still beautiful, even more so now that he knew her better. He respected and liked her. She was intelligent, always said what she meant—often without considering that her words might land her in trouble—and most importantly, she cared. Lily was always concerned about everyone's wellbeing.
Across from Lily, taking the other side of the chess board, was Regulus Black—someone James would never in a hundred thousand lifetimes have imagined he would invite to his house. That Reg's brother Sirius—absent from the Potter's house for the moment—now defended him would have shocked everyone—but mostly Sirius. If somebody told me a year ago those two would stop fighting… James would have laughed if it weren't for the gravity of the situation.
Regulus accomplished the most incredible feat of them all. He stood before Voldemort—with most of the Death Eaters as witnesses—and defied the Dark Lord, even dared hex him. This made Regulus Voldemort's personal enemy. Such defiance denoted nothing short of personal insult—an offense punishable by death. The rest of the Blacks consisted of ardent Voldemort supporters, making Regulus—like his brother before him—a blood-traitor. He'd received a Howler from his mother only days before the end of term saying as much.
By the reckoning of Mr. and Mrs. Black, their family line was now broken, dead. Regulus lost everything in less than an hour, and James couldn't laugh at that—wouldn't even think of it.
Lily had nowhere to go either with her parents and sister on the run—far away from here.
Everyone in the mansion that horrible night was a target—or at least somewhere on Voldemort's top twenty most-wanted list. They'd humiliated him, proven themselves a threat. But they were all in this together. And they were in deep, which was why James invited them to his house—the only safe place he could think of. After all, his father was an Auror, and James' parents didn't underestimate the danger he and his schoolmates were in.
Wards and concealing charms hid the house from anyone but the invited, making it dangerous to leave the immediate grounds—something Lily wasn't fond of. Being cooped up seemed to frustrate her. Not that James could blame her.
Wonder when Siri and Remus will come back. Two days ago, after being with the Potters less than a week, Remus left without ceremony to endure his monthly transformation. This month, however, Remus had to transform without the Wolfsbane Potion. Only Sirius accompanied him so James could stay with everyone else at the house. Without the potion, Remus likely spent the past two days recovering.
No Peter either. After that terrible night, he'd returned to Hogwarts in silence. No matter what James, Sirius or Remus did, Peter hid or ran from them. Guess I understand that too… We left him in a burning mansion. He could've died. Who can blame him for being terrified out of his wits?
At least they got Spinner. With six students, three muggles and a renowned wizard to testify against him, he had no hope of escape. After a short trial, Spinner was sent to Azkaban… only to escape on the way. Which, now that James thought about it, seemed to happen a lot with Death Eaters sent there. James' father was worried Voldemort had infiltrated the prison guard.
From the couch Lily glanced out the near window. "Remus! Sirius! They're back."
James couldn't see them from where he stood, but he could imagine Remus' half-dead stupor. He looked bad enough with the Wolfsbane Potion. Now, without it…
When the two entered Remus sagged against Sirius like a doll left too long in the rain. He looked like he could have used a week's rest, but though weary, he smiled. "Hey, guys. Glad to see you're still here."
"Remus." Lily hurried to him. "You look awful. Do you need to lie down?"
"Spending three days alone with Padfoot will do that to you," Remus joked, voice hoarse as dirty carpet.
"I resent that!" Sirius said. "I'm a well of life and joy. Spending time with me only ever does good."
"It does look like something sucked the life out of him," Reg muttered.
"Like I said," Remus repeated, "spending three days alone with Padfoot will do that to you."
"Hey!"
James shook his head and grinned half-heartedly. Until he noticed the deep shadows under Remus' eyes and his attempts to hide some of his difficulties. Oh man… I haven't seen him look this bad in—well, I can't remember. He's paler than Mum's good china. And his hair. Could it be plastered any closer to his head? He's walking like he got into a fight with a rabid lumberjack. "Remus, can you help me in the kitchen?"
"Huh?" Remus stopped smoothing his wrinkled shirt. "Oh, sure." He probably realized James' intention of having a word in private and willingly followed, Sirius in tow.
Once out of the sitting room and away from Lily and Reg, James whispered, "Was it bad?"
"Nah. It was fine," Remus insisted. Unconvincingly. He leaned against the wall, clearly still feeling the transformation's consequences.
"Moony, do you take Prongs for an idiot?" said Sirius.
"You're such a terrible liar." James shook his head at Remus. "Don't forget I've seen you at your best and worst. And this," he gestured to Remus, "is not your best."
Remus' smile turned apologetic.
"The wolf was definitely not happy," said Sirius. "It tried to bite me at first and it took half an hour to calm it enough to convince it to play… Then it insisted on hunting deer."
"You're kidding. Deer? Sometimes it's insisted on taking down a rabbit or squirrel, but a deer?"
Red crept up Remus' neck and he avoided James' eyes.
"Stop feeling bad about it, Moony. It's not your fault," said James. "We all know that."
Remus still didn't look up.
"Wait… you didn't actually catch one, did you?"
Thick silence. Then Remus nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, as if he couldn't stand to see James' reaction.
"Blimey!" James ruffled his hair. "How'd you do that? No, wait, don't answer that. It was a stupid question."
"Think the wolf saved up its rage while you were on the Wolfsbane Potion?" Sirius said with a glance back out to the sitting room to make sure no one was listening in.
Remus quietly knit his composure back together, but still shuddered every few seconds in self-disgust.
"It's possible," said James. "But pressure and stress make the wolf angrier. And we're all under a lot of pressure right now. Wouldn't you agree?"
Sirius shifted closer and whispered so only James could hear. "He ate it. And woke up with his head shoved in the deer's stomach. He threw up a couple times. Wasn't pretty, but I think it's the emotional toll that's really getting to him."
Oh, Moony… That's awful. I'm so sorry…
Remus gathered enough courage to open his eyes. "What if… you'd been out there, Prongs? What if I'd gone for your throat?"
"You wouldn't have."
"Think about it! You turn into a stag," said Remus.
"Yeah, but you would've recognized me. We're a pack, and you've always recognized us before."
"I attacked Padfoot." Remus' voice strained. "I don't think the wolf recognizes him all the time."
"That's not the first time the wolf's attacked me," said Sirius. "It's happened before, remember? It just wants to assert itself, and a big dog can be intimidating. Prongs was fine every time we ran together at school, so why wouldn't that continue to be true?"
Remus wilted. "I wish you'd stop glossing over the facts. Without the Wolfsbane Potion, this thing we're doing—it's a ticking bomb." A wash of fear coated his every word. "Please… don't be childish. We can't afford it anymore. Look where it's brought us…" His voice faded into a harsh whisper and his gaze grew unfocused.
James and Sirius exchanged silent agreement that they wouldn't get anywhere with him right now.
"Moony… you want to sleep for a bit?" said James.
"If I sleep now, I won't tonight. I want to catch up with everyone, anyway." Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled back to the sitting room where Lily and Regulus still stared at the old chess board's gloomy black and white squares.
James and Sirius tailed Remus.
"Hey, bro, you winning?" Sirius pulled up a chair near Regulus', just to the side of the game board.
"Eh." Reg didn't look up from the game.
Reg is angry at everything lately—short-tempered, easily annoyed. James took a spot on the couch a foot or two from Lily. He keeps up his manners as a house guest, but how long can he keep it all in? Not to mention the insomnia because of the stress. He's nowhere near easy to be around right now, and the current arrangement isn't helping…
"Nope. He's losing," Lily said. "Bishop to B4. And check mate." She smiled, but it was a sad smile, as if she'd just shared a happy memory at a funeral. Her bishop snatched the crown off Reg's king and threw it down. "Hey, I'm getting better at this."
Remus flopped on the couch to the other side of Lily and leaned back into the cushions. "Anything new?"
He meant Severus, of course. The Daily Prophet lay open on the table. Every day they all combed through it for any possible mention of Severus, or anyone vaguely resembling him. But they'd found nothing since his disappearance. Once there was a brief wanted ad for him accompanied by instructions to contact the Ministry should anyone find him—obviously a veiled attempt by Voldemort to locate him. Severus now represented the Dark Lord's target number one.
Lily still insisted Severus was alive—that she'd know if he wasn't. Tired of arguing with her, James chose to trust her judgment even if what she insisted had to be wrong. It's foolish to hope too much—to think something'll show up in the paper. We know he's smart enough to stay hidden.
"No, nothing new. Just the usual…" Lily's voice rang hollow, like a tree too long dead.
It's so hard to be around her lately. James folded his hands loosely in his lap. It was hard to admit I don't really know her at all… Once I was in love with the idea of her—with her image—but now she's my friend. She's got such passion—such genuineness. But she's quiet, polite, helpful. She hides how hurt she is—tries to keep up a strong front and reassure everybody she's fine with that polite smile. He didn't know where she hid to cry, but he'd caught her just finishing wiping her eyes once. Wherever it was, it was well out of sight. The crying combined with her sleeplessness coalesced into dark bags that now sagged under her eyes, even though she'd gone to great lengths to hide them.
"Any word from Peter?" said Remus.
James shook his head. "Nothing… And I tried writing him six times. He doesn't respond."
"Oh… I see…" Remus stared at the chess board, but no one else spoke and the room fell into awkward silence.
Days passed with everyone, including Lily, still locked in a daze, cooped up in the Potter house. Had this happened only a year ago they'd have been at each other's throats—literally. Now, they couldn't imagine picking at each other that way. Well… most of the time they couldn't. Regulus still snapped a lot, but other than that, they made efforts to give each other needed space and lend necessary comfort and support.
One of the best moments came unexpectedly when Lily, James, Sirius and Remus decided on a round of Quidditch in the garden. When they first asked Regulus to join he declined, but as everyone played, Reg ventured outside to watch and as his dour mood lifted and his interest rose, they all insisted he play to even out the teams. Reg loved flying more than anything else and once he jumped into the game, he seemed to enjoy himself.
But there were difficult moments too. Once, Sirius tried to start a water fight, but his efforts fell flat and no one could get up enough enthusiasm to do more than loiter in the yard with stares that would have put a lost pup to shame.
Now as everyone occupied the sitting room again, Lily faced the four boys—all on the couch except Sirius who sat in a chair to one side.
Lily leaned forward in her big chair and said, "Since we're all here, there's something I wanted to tell you… And I need to do it before we go back to Hogwarts."
"Sure," James said.
Sirius tossed him an intrigued glance, looking curious about what Lily would say too.
"This is confidential," Lily said. "No one but us can know… and Sev would probably be angry with me if he found out I told you, but… It might give us a better chance to figure out where he is." That got everyone's attention. "Promise me you won't tell anyone. And I mean anyone."
Reg's expression darkened. "Sure you want to trust me with such important information?"
"We know you made a mistake," said Lily. "Sev made a similar one once too. He realized it just over a year ago and did his best to make it good. And I still trust him, even though he used to have every intention of turning dark." She propped one elbow on an armrest and supported her chin with her hand. "What I'm trying to say is, you were tempted and said no. Now you'll never be tempted again—like you can't break a bone in the exact same place twice."
"I think you've got too much faith in people," Regulus muttered. "I should leave." He almost did, but Lily got out of her chair, reached across the chess board and pulled him back down by the sleeve. He thumped into the couch.
"I choose to trust you. Just accept it. Besides, you might benefit from this the most."
Regulus' grim expression lingered, but he didn't try to leave again.
"Do I have your word you won't talk about this to anyone but those in this room?" said Lily.
"And Peter," Sirius added. When everyone stared at him, he crossed his arms and sat straight. "What? He's still one of us, even if leaving him in a house full of Fiendfyre scared him away for now."
"Of course, he is," said James. "But he can't know unless he comes back on his own. Then we'll tell him, but only if the situation demands it. Deal?"
Lily wasn't convinced. "You three trust him?"
"With my life," said Remus.
James and Sirius nodded agreement.
"All right. Sev is probably out looking for certain… objects. To destroy them is the only sure way to kill Voldemort."
Reg hissed and covered his ears.
"Oh, stop it," Lily scolded. "Sev wasn't afraid to say it—it's just a name. He won't jump out and get you for saying it." She shook her head and continued. "Voldemort –"
Regulus did it again.
"—stop it, Reg—he tried to gain immortality by splitting his soul in pieces and putting them into objects, which he hid. Those are Horcruxes. If we kill his body but leave the Horcruxes intact, he won't really die."
"Wait… you can do that? Split your soul in pieces?" James looked horrified. "That doesn't sound safe."
"The consequences have to extend beyond the physical," Remus murmured thoughtfully. "Can you imagine how damaged his soul must be? And there's more than one Horcrux?"
Lily nodded. "Sev found two at Hogwarts. That book in Spinner's office was one."
Sirius and James froze in horror.
"Another mistake to add to the list?" Sirius muttered.
"Sounds like it," James replied in kind, face flushed in shame.
"Wait." Regulus sat straighter. "Siri vanished that book. Severus never got it."
Lily shook her head. "You can't just vanish something as powerful as a Horcrux. Penelope switched it before you did that. She delivered the real book to Sev."
"What?" Sirius' confusion deepened as he tried to recall the scene. "She must have tricked me…"
At the mention of Penelope Reg turned gloomier than a winter moor so Lily hurried on. "That diary was Voldemort's from when he attended Hogwarts."
Sirius bristled. "Voldemort attended Hogwarts? Seriously?"
"Of course." Lily rolled her eyes. "His real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle."
Of the four boys, only Remus maintained a composed frown.
"I guess I never thought about it." James leaned into the couch and crossed his arms.
Sirius snickered into his hand, earning him odd looks from everyone. "Tom." He chuckled again, as if that one word explained everything. When it didn't, he elaborated. "The Dark Lord Tom doesn't sound very threatening, does it?"
"Guess it doesn't," James admitted with a smirk.
Reg seemed confused, as if he no longer understood humor.
"Anyway, Horcruxes," Lily continued. "Sev found two that I know of—the Diary, and the Diadem of Ravenclaw."
When the truth of her words sank in, Remus spoke. "I'm glad you told us. And you're right, it gives us something to start with, but… I know you found out all that from Severus. So… where did he learn it?"
It was a good question.
Lily shifted in her chair and gripped the arm rest so tight she left indentations in the fabric. "I… can't tell you that. I'm sorry. It's something… personal, and it's not my place to divulge it." A blush warmed her face. "I'm not even sure I understand it myself."
Remus frowned again. "At least tell me this, has it something to do with his suddenly acquired powers? He'd not just a talented student. He's proved himself a powerful, knowledgeable wizard—even compared to adults. And Wolfsbane Potion? It should've taken years, if not decades, to develop."
"He invented that?" James' attention snapped to Remus.
"Does it matter?" Remus waved James off.
"Sod it, Remus," Sirius grunted. "Did he invent it, or not?"
"Yeah… he did…" Remus said.
James rubbed his neck, shock barely contained. "Now I understand your behavior last year."
"Stop!" Reg interrupted. "What's Wolfsbane Potion, and what does it have to do with anything?"
Reg was still the only one who didn't know Remus was a werewolf.
Sirius smirked. "Why hurt your pretty head over that?"
"Shut it and answer me, Sirius," Regulus growled.
"It's not important." James tried to diffuse the situation. "I think we should concentrate on the Horcruxes."
Regulus glared, annoyed at being brushed off.
Remus quickly got back to the subject. "Does it have something to do with the potion and everything else?"
Lily broke eye contact but nodded.
"I think I get it now," said Remus, tone surprisingly light. "She's right, Prongs. It's too personal, and it doesn't matter, anyway."
"If you say so," said James, unconvinced.
"Merlin forbid…" Lily said to James with a sad smile. "You've grown up. A year ago, you'd have pursued this."
"You and Moony both say it isn't worth it, so why would I bother?" he said.
"She's right!" Sirius wrinkled his nose at James. "You've turned… reasonable! Why'd you do such a horrible thing to me?"
James rolled his eyes. "I assure you I'll always be ready to pull something, Pads, no matter the circumstances."
"That's my man." Sirius socked James' shoulder.
Regulus took this opportunity to speak. "Last March… when I was alone with Bella, she said she was the Dark Lord's favorite, and… something about being entrusted with a great responsibility—an object the Dark Lord wouldn't give to just anyone."
"Sounds suspicious," said Remus. "You think it's worth looking into?"
Regulus nodded.
"And there lies the problem." Sirius turned grim. "No way are you snooping around for information, Reg."
"I'm not totally brain-dead," Regulus snorted.
"Of course, you're not." Lily leaned forward in her chair. "But it does present a problem."
"I guess…" Reg fiddled with one of the chess pieces.
"We can't barge into the mansion without a plan. Remember what happened last time." James regarded the group sternly.
Lily tapped her armrest, anxious at the memory. "You don't have to remind us. But it leaves a lot to think about, and… better to do something than nothing. Right?"
James stared in disbelief for a five-count before dragging the conversation on for another half hour while Lily tried to stop seeing images of the burning mansion and that horrid rainy night.
Edited by Dtill359