Art [Clementine]
Off they went. Not even that long ago, and she would've probably been all up in Lee's face about wanting to go too, all because of that stupid, nagging feeling that he didn't have enough faith in her, and that constant need to prove herself. It… changed. Slowly, maybe, but it did. He trusted her enough to let her hang onto that rifle all the time. What else could she ask for, right? And so, Clementine nodded with a smile, thinking it was her turn to give back some of that trust.
Got it. I can watch the horses. We, Clem. We can watch the horses.
Yup. Ellie was there too. That was, what? The first time they were alone together in weeks? It probably wasn't, for real, but it sure as hell felt that way. There was this… weird, just… weird fricking tension between the two of 'em, and it was her fault for letting it pile up the way it did. I mean, she wasn't even mad at Ellie anymore, so what was the deal? Why couldn't she just talk to her? It wasn't hard. Talk. Talk.
Clementine held onto those reigns like her life depended on it, a chilly feeling in her stomach all too tough to shake away. She was horrible at this. They didn't have anything to talk about, or- well, Clem couldn't think of anything. The girl couldn't tell if that was a blatant sign of how bad things were or what, but she couldn't even talk to her best friend without acting like a nervous wreck.
The icing on the cake was her dickhead of a horse. Callus wouldn't stop smelling her, inching closer like he was about to try and lick her in the face. Geez, maybe he was planning to. With everything else going on, it ended up really getting on her nerves, forcing Clementine to finally say something. "Can you tell him to cut it out?"
Dot [Ellie]
Nice was an absolute understatement of how fucking awesome seeing monkeys turned out to be, though it hardly lasted as long as she wanted. She'd never seen one before outside of books. And after they left the courtyard, they were met with a metal gate keeping them from the next area of the school grounds, and Joel and Lee went off to figure out how to get through, leaving Ellie and Clementine alone to tend to the horses.
Needless to say, the thought almost terrified her, of being alone with the girl she almost completely fucked her friendship with. In the months that have passed since Jackson, she hadn't mustered the courage to apologize for what happened. A small part of her knew that she knew, but that wasn't going to be enough, was it? It usually never was.
Then there was still the part of her that saw her as something more, a side that she'd buried as deep as she could, in the metaphorical ocean of emotions that seemed to control her. Hopefully it'd remain there, lost at sea and never to be seen again. So much had changed between them, and so much more had changed in their situation, and who the fuck knew what lied for them around the next corner? She wasn't ready to experience that again, losing someone she cared about. It was hard enough to lose a friend. It'd be harder losing three. Harder still to lose-
Stop.
So, they remained in silence for longer than Ellie thought comfortable, until Clementine broke the silence, mentioning something about Callus. Ellie straightened herself on the back of the horse, scratching Callus's neck lightly in response before grabbing an apple from her backpack, reaching to let Callus eat it. He chewed loudly, and Ellie turned her gaze towards her friend. "Sorry. I'll, uh… keep an eye on him."
Another silence filled the air, thicker this time. For an instant, she was almost tempted to let it settle, wait for Joel and Lee to get back, but it was becoming far too uncomfortable to keep going.
She cleared her throat, shifting in the saddle. "So, um…" She fidgeted, reaching for her switchblade in her pocket and flicking it open, running her finger lightly along the metal. She only spared Clem brief glances, mouth twitching as if she was chewing on her words. "What's… the first thing you're gonna do? When we find the Fireflies?" It seemed a bit late for that question, but it was the first thing she could come up with.
Art [Clementine]
Clementine let the question to sink in for a sec, largely because she didn't have an answer ready. Funny. She thought she would by the time they got there, always did. Pretending that bullheadedness to find the Fireflies wasn't just a device to keep her mind focused somewhere other than everyone she missed. In a way, the answer was pretty obvious. The reason she wanted to go there in the first place.
Catch up with Mom and Dad… right?
It kept getting harder, every time they ran into a place like Jackson. Every time she dared to hope the next place would finally be the one. There had to be a point where she'd draw the line. That's what Clem kept wanting to tell herself, and what she was never strong enough to do. Giving up on her parents wasn't an option… but she couldn't stand to bring them up anymore. Being told that they weren't there just one more time would probably crush her beyond any healing.
Still, stuff came to mind. Plenty of stuff. They weren't just finding the Fireflies, they were bringing the cure with them. It was hard enough for Clem to fully grasp just how much of a big deal that was. Just trying to imagine what she could do without the walkers around could've left her pondering for hours. A sigh later, and her mouth was hanging open, the words meant to leave it still playing catch-up. "It takes a toll, y'know?" Clementine wanted to smile as she said it, though it didn't pan out. Not by a longshot. She was so exhausted, drained to the bone. This whole thing made the Motor Inn days look easy by comparison. "Staying up all night, afraid someone, or some thing, might sneak up on you."
"I guess I'd wanna… not have to think about that, just for a little while." That was the goal, there was no denying that. A world where you didn't have to keep looking over your shoulder so often. Ellie must've thought the same. Who hadn't ever dreamt about it?
"You?"
Dot [Ellie]
Clementine's answer didn't immediately make sense to Ellie, but when the baseball-capped girl explained herself, she found herself nodding. The one thing she missed about being behind walls was not having to metaphorically sleep with an eye open. Even once they're with the Fireflies, that feeling might remain. FEDRA was still out there, so the possibility of the Fireflies being found was still on the table.
But at least they'd have the cure, right?
Sighing, her eyes flicked towards Clementine as she redirected the question towards her, mindlessly tapping her fingers against her jeans as she struggled to come up with an answer.
In the absence of any real answers popping into her subconscious, she decided upon something else, smiling. "Finding the dart board as soon as possible."
Art [Clementine]
Clem scoffed fairly audibly, though the faintest smile did get dragged along with it. It'd been forever and they were still going on about that stupid thing. "Not happening," she told Ellie straight, without the slightest hint of doubt in her mind. Amusing as it was to imagine, top dog scientists and bar games just didn't go together.
Then again, what would she know?
"Tell you what, though," Clementine continued, that previous smile warping into a sneer. "If they do have one this time, you're about to get owned. Again."
Dot [Ellie]
"Oh ho ho, is that a challenge?" Ellie chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the girl's confident words. She wasn't about to let her friend show her up again , not when she had already been beaten in countless other games they've played on their journey. Her smile grew, however, and she continued to speak teasingly. "I'm so gonna dart you into next year."
Art [Clementine]
And then, before she knew it, from Clem's mouth escaped a bustle of laughter. One that lacked a lot in elegancy, admittedly. "No, you're not!" Barked the girl, leaning forward confrontationally. They might've tied before, but no way was she gonna let Ellie win the next one. Not in a million years. I'm gonna dart you into next… century!
It felt pretty alright, patching things up with her, or at least building towards it. Weird, right? One minute she was too anxious to even look in Ellie's direction, and now look at her. Clementine couldn't get enough of it. Not that it was a surprise to anyone that she missed the hell out of being around the only person not three times her age. Talking to Ellie about nonsense - even when it was smack talk - was just… crazy fun, bar none. Well, most of the time.
"We're gonna be here for a while, I think," Clem pointed out with a soft sigh after a somewhat long-winded silence, the thought urging her to reach for the backpack tied to Whiskers's behind. There had to be something they could do while Lee and Joel were out doing their thing.
Horses look pretty hungry. I'm kinda hungry, too.
A few rummages later, and the girl was already speaking up again. "Okay, so..."
"We have two cans left: Spaghetti, and uh…" Her eyes narrowed all too suddenly, spelling out the impending doom about to unfold from her voice. "... Spinach." Shit, it couldn't be. Not now. Canned corn was plenty bad, but this?! It was like the unholy grail of preserved meals. Clementine sat on the discovery for a few long seconds, considering her next move very carefully. Change of plans. The girl lifted the two cans out of her backpack, holding them both up next to each other.
"How about we make it a bet? Whoever wins gets to pick."
Dot [Ellie]
Ellie examined the cans in Clem's hands with scrutiny, her smile growing as Clementine suggested making a bet to see who'd get which one. She shifted slightly in her saddle, letting go of the reins. "Alright, Baseball Cap. What do you got in mind?"
She wasn't about to be shown up again if she could help it. One way or another, she was getting that can of spaghetti.
Art [Clementine]
Clementine grinned in anticipation, carefully dismounting the horse in order to set the two cans down on the ground. Finally they'd get to do something fun, for once! The girl turned towards her friend, extending her own hand to help Ellie get down from Callus - all that excitement bubbling up and unveiling itself through her fiery amber eyes. "Let's see whose horse is more loyal."
For starters, she dragged Ellie away from Whiskers and Callus. Not too far, of course. They still had to watch those two. To the left of the gate was this large building with rows and rows of windows, which Clem had to assume were part of the dormitories. Must've been where Lee and Joel were, too. All that said, the most noteworthy thing there was the Firefly symbol sprayed on the wall. Not very inconspicuous.
"You and I are gonna stand right over here," said Clem, pointing at the crescent of grass under them. "Rules are: We each get one apple, and you can only use stuff like… your voice. No touching. No throwing."
"First horse to eat the apple wins. Simple, right?"
It wasn't too bad of a pastime back on the farm, back before their horse got sick. Like playing with a dog, only… No. Not like a dog at all. Finally, Clementine crossed her arms, going over the last bit with a tender smile. "And it's gotta be your horse. If Whiskers eats your apple, I still win."
Dot [Ellie]
She didn't resist as Clementine escorted her towards the wall of a building nearby, still within sight of their horses by the gate. As the girl tried to explain the bet, Ellie slipped her backpack off, grabbing an apple from inside, before putting the pack back over her shoulders.
"You're so gonna lose," Ellie tossed over her shoulder, smirking. She outstretched her hand, clutching the apple, before whistling sharply. "Callus, food!"
The horse in question turned its head towards her, neighing. When it caught sight of the apple, it slowly spun around, lightly trotting towards her. Ellie's smile grew, and she gave Clementine a victorious wink.
Don't let me down, Callus.
Art [Clementine]
The shorter one rolled her eyes at the show-off, ecstatic to return the favor. Clem replicated Elle's moves for the most part, lifting the apple near shoulder height before whispering loudly. "Whiskers! Over here, boy!" She was so beyond confident that after all those months together, he'd come running to her as soon as she called.
Too confident.
"I got you this really tasty apple." She continued, pointing at the fruit and changing the tone of her voice to a much more playful one. Clem tried, and tried again, but Whiskers didn't move. He wouldn't even look at her. Her jaw dropped, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Why wouldn't he come?! "Uh… Please?" Luckily, Callus moving the way he did seemed to nab Whiskers' attention, prompting him to follow… slowly, that is. Very slowly. C'mon.
Dot [Ellie]
It wasn't long before Callus stopped in front of Ellie, grabbing the apple with its teeth before gnashing away greedily. She petted the side of its muzzle softly, whispering "Good boy."
Once her horse was finished chewing on what remained of the apple, Ellie's attention turned towards Clementine and Whiskers, who had yet to make it over to them. She patted Clementine on her back softly, grinning. "Thanks for the spaghetti, Clem."
Art [Clementine]
No way! Are you serious?! Just like that, it was all over. Callus was the hero and they were the whopper of a zero. And it wasn't even a contest. Clem's horse slowly trotted her way with his head down, almost like he knew how bad he botched it.
"Whiskers…!" The girl uttered through gritted teeth, reaching her hands around his neck for a delicate - if not undeserved - caress. "You're supposed to come over when I yell for you, big guy." Whiskers let out a gust of air through his nose, smacking the apple away from Clementine's hand, before lowering his head further down to reach it with his salivating teeth. "Okay, then. Nevermind. I guess we can work on that later…" With her hands resting on her hips, Clementine accepted defeat.
The cans were still right where she left them, as was Ellie's grand prize. Clem picked the canned Spaghetti up with one hand, getting a quick feel for its weight before tossing it to her. "Here you go. You won fair and square." Should be plenty there to make for a good breakfast. I hope. She wasn't sure she could say the same for spinach. Yuck…Better than eating something spoiled, though. Much better.
Clementine sat on the pavement next to the wall; that nifty Firefly symbol serving as backdrop. Since leaving Jackson, they'd had the foresight to bring spoons along for the trip. Eating with your hands… well, while it wasn't the worst thing in the world, it was one unlucky day from getting someone ill. Couldn't afford that when you were trying to cross the country, or so Lee would tell her. So… they ate together, waiting for the old guys to come back. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Never a cause for concern, but never quite a reassuring feeling either. At least he was with Joel. Man, that guy could handle danger better than anyone she'd ever seen. If not just for that reason alone, Clem didn't hate having him around.
What she did hate was that lingering fucking silence. Wasn't easy to get her mind off of Lee when the only thing to do was watch that place crumble at a snail's pace. With the spoon still nestled between her fingers, and dry spinach hanging from her mouth, Clementine took it upon herself to break that iceberg-sized ice. "So, now that we're at the end of the road and all…"
"Anything you wanna… y'know, talk about?" Weird question, Clem. Just the worst. Sadly, it was a little too late to unsay it. "And I don't mean it like another game or anything, just…"
"Whatever you wanna ask before we do this thing, I'm… I don't know. I'm open. Do your worst and all that." Hiding it was pretty tough. Scared. She was… scared, that they'd both go off their separate ways once this was all done. If her and Lee's plans didn't go together with theirs, then that was that. Maybe never see Ellie again. The thought freaked her out, a lot more than she was ever comfortable with saying out loud. Clem figured if it did happen… then this'd be the last chance to really talk with her… and, fuck, if it was, then she wanted to make it count.
"Hit me with anything."
Dot [Ellie]
Ellie reached out to catch the can as her baseball-capped friend tossed it to her, though it managed to slip through her fingers and land on the ground at her feet, narrowly missing her foot in the process. Silently cursing, she bent to retrieve it, feeling her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Good fucking going, klutz.
She followed Clementine to the wall, sliding down to sit against it. She fumbled with her knife, cutting the can open in practiced movements. The smell of spaghetti sauce hit her, and she couldn't help the smile that crept its way onto her face. Despite it being lukewarm, having something in her stomach made the taste bearable.
She was in the middle of sucking up a noodle when Clementine broke the silence, nearly causing her to choke on the pasta in the process. Of course, it wasn't because the girl was talking to her, but the words that she was saying. A dozen things had been running through her mind, questions she had but would never ask, or just didn't have the courage to do so, they all sprung up in her mind one after another, like a bunch of reporters crowding around and asking their questions all at once.
How could she settle on just one to ask? Which ones would she never dare ask? The list was unnervingly long and grew longer by the day.
Things like 'would you have come with us if I wasn't immune?' leapt to the forefront, damn near on the tip of her tongue. It always came down to that side of her, that ugly side that wouldn't stop thinking about the day she'd eventually be alone again. The way she'd spent most of her life in those orphanages, never to experience a lasting companionship with… well, anyone.
Riley had been the exception, once. But that was a long time ago.
Now she had a whole group, people that she cared about more than she'd care to admit. What would things be like now, if Lee and Clementine left back at Paradise? If they'd never come with them in the first place? What if Joel would've just left her to Tommy and Andrea to deal with? He damn near already did with Lee and Clem around.
And what would stop the world from ripping it all away again? For Joel to die? For Clem or Lee to die? What kept history from repeating itself?
The silence had gone on for way too long at this point, and she coughed as what little remained of her food in her mouth found its way into her windpipe, cleared nearly just as quickly. "Clem, I-" Finally, she managed to croak something out, only to be stopped by another harsh cough.
It always came down to those same thoughts, the ones she buried at sea. They always seemed to get dug up again, as if some treasure hunter decided to have a go at retrieving them. The thoughts formed in her head, like words on a teleprompter, and she mentally focused on ridding herself of them. Yet, not even a teleprompter would obey her commands. It was controlled by something else, and there was no stopping it.
Sooner or later, those small words on a screen would turn into screams, and when that time finally came, she wouldn't be capable of burying it any longer.
"I…" Don't say it. Don't say it. Fuck, Ellie, you can't say it. "I, uhm…" You're going to ruin this. "Do you ever-" Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop.
Whatever mental battle she was having with herself reached its climax, streams of thought that resulted in nothing but a cacophony of 'no, stop' s and 'we have to tell her' s, until finally, she'd had enough.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
For once for the past minute, silence met her silent scream. She could almost let out a breath of relief.
She was doing this. No matter what happened next, whatever this was needed to be addressed. At least, she'd get closure.
Or so she hoped.
She opened her eyes, finding herself unaware of the fact that she'd closed them in the first place, and unclenched her fists. The can she'd been holding in her hand was twisted inwards, if only by enough to have the contents inside reach the top of the can. She set it down next to her, breathing in rhythmic ins and outs, preparing herself for what was to come.
"…Have you ever…" Another clearing of the throat, followed by her fingernails scratching at her shirtsleeve, "… liked someone, and just… kept it to yourself because y'know it's probably better that way?"
Her heart was in her throat, and she wasn't sure if it'd ever come back down.
Art [Clementine]
While Ellie savored the wonders of stored italian cuisine, Clementine had to settle for... whatever you called the worst veggie of 'em all by a fucking mile. Beggars couldn't be choosers, and neither could losers, but it really wasn't as bad as she made it out to be. It wasn't gonna beat eating cake, though. Never. Now, it might've been right up in her face, but Clem could say with a lot of assurance that spinach was the last thing going through her head at the time.
Considering she was literally expecting the worst, Ellie's question wasn't that bad at all. Well, it was strange, no denying that.
"Like how?" Clementine found herself questioning, furrowed brows and a frown accompanying that very present feeling of uncertainty in her voice… that is, until the answer clocked in on its own, smacking her across the face "Oh, right." Ellie's silence spoke about a thousand and two words, all of them making her feel pretty dumb. Like, like. Okay.
It wasn't a question that hard to answer, truth be told.
Clementine let out a soft chuckle she just couldn't keep tucked in, lightly shrugging her shoulders. "No? I don't know." Truth is, the girl didn't quite get what she was asking. It sounded so weird and specific… then again, weird was pretty much Ellie's flashiest calling card. It would've been weird not to expect her to act like a weirdo. "I don't think I've ever... liked anyone, Ellie," she said, flashing her friend a smile.
Clem had to ponder over that one on her own for a while. To a certain extent, she pretty much couldn't stop thinking about it. How could she? Ellie might've not intended for it, but that little inquiry did make it pretty obvious that she was into someone. With a brow raise and an increasingly growing smile, Clementine turned her eyes to miss inquisitor, giving her a counter-question she was all too excited to hear the response to. "Why?"
Okay, fine. She didn't expect to get an answer to that one. Whatever it was, Ellie looked super torn up about it. Trusting her hunch to be spot on, Clementine settled for the second best thing: teasing her relentlessly, with one or two good nudges to go along.
"Is it Carl?"
Dot [Ellie]
It took a lot of effort to not laugh at that. Not that Carl was horrible, or bad-looking – though she'd never admit that to his face – she just had… well, she just didn't like boys. That was the gist of it, really.
She instinctively rubbed her arm after her friend nudged her, half-feigning that it hurt, and half just wanting something to keep herself occupied. She was already in too deep, now. There was no going back, unless she let Clem believe that she did, by some miracle, like Carl.
Which was a big 'nope' for her.
"N – No, I…" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Words were once again failing her. She wanted to kick herself, both mentally and physically, yet settled for not moving a muscle. Some part of her had a feeling that Clem wouldn't understand what she was trying to say, no matter how much Ellie tried to explain it. Any attempt to just throw it in her face would likely end in failure, too.
Then again, everything was going to end in failure. Wasn't it?
She idly picked up the can again, twisting a couple noodles around a plastic fork. She dropped the fork inside the can, leaving the noodles uneaten. She didn't have much of an appetite left anyway.
"Sorry…"
The smile on Riley's face simply grew wider, and she let out a breath of exasperation.
"For what?"
But Clem wasn't Riley. This wasn't going to work. She – She could just say it. Tell her that she liked her and have it over with. The context was there now, right? It could work.
But she wasn't going to respond in kind. Not this time.
Either way, she was right. Her heart wasn't coming back from her throat. She could practically feel it pulsing, threatening to cut off circulation to her brain. Maybe it'd be better that way, so she'd not have to finish this conversation and she'd-
Just back off. You're making this fucking awkward.
It was clear now that Clementine didn't feel the same way, just based on what she'd said. It was a bad idea to even bring it up in the first place. She wanted to curse herself. Pick herself up and get back on Callus and put as much distance between her and Clem as possible. As far as you can get without leaving the gate, anyway.
She wouldn't get that luxury though. For now, she had to come up with something to say. Something to get her out of this mess.
Finally, she cleared her throat, breathing in. She averted her gaze, looking towards Callus and Whiskers as they neighed to each other. "It…" Her voice trailed off, fingers tapping on her jeans around her knees as she held them to her chest. "…was Riley."
Both a lie and not a lie. The perfect misdirection.
"Well, uhm… for the most part." She continued, fumbling over her words. "I – I told her… right before she died."
"We could just… be poetic and lose our minds together."
Well… one of us did, anyway.
Art [Clementine]
What?
No, she hadn't heard that wrong. There wasn't any… different way to hear that, nothing to get mixed up about what Ellie told her. Ellie liked Riley. Ellie liked Riley. Clementine couldn't keep her eyes from widening no matter how much she tried. But, wasn't… wasn't Riley a girl? Yeah, no shit she was a girl. That was like… the one of three things she even knew about her. Clem could've been there forever, mulling over the fact that Ellie had just told her she was into girls. She really, really could have, but she didn't. Not because it got any easier to understand, no. The volume of questions popping up in her head, one after the other, it felt almost suffocating.
A good chunk of it was regretting the fuck out of the last minute or so.
As soon as she was done wiping the shock off her face, Clementine lowered it into the palm of her hands, covering her eyes, exasperated. "I'm so sorry, I didn't- I mean, I thought you-!" One word left right after the other, in a sequence that just barely didn't come out sounding like nonsense. Clem couldn't believe how bad she blew it with her. "God, I'm an idiot."
Dot [Ellie]
As Clementine rushed to apologize, Ellie held out a hand to stop her, closing her eyes as she turned away from her friend momentarily. She'd opened the can of worms, and there was no putting them back now.
"It's… alright, Clem. It's not your fault. I'm- I'm the one that brought it up," her words were quieter, dejected, and she forced herself to look in her direction. To finally voice the concerns that plagued her heart, with Riley and Clem.
"Y'know… I almost told her 'no'," she spoke after a moment, inhaling deeply before letting it out. Her fingers were moving by their own accord now, shaking violently, and she held onto her other hand to try and stop it. "When she snuck into my room that night, trying to take me to some stupid place to tell me that she was leaving. After she disappeared, I… thought she was dead. She'd just… told me to 'fuck off' and disappeared, never to be seen again. I was angry with her, but… part of me didn't want to waste the second chance I was given." Tears stained her face, small enough to only leave thin trails. She wiped them away bitterly.
"If I said no, then she would've left with the Fireflies, and she'd still be alive today. It's my fault. Because I went with her, she died, and I got bit and this whole fucking thing started, and I-"
She gulped.
" …I don't want that to happen to you, too. "
Art [Clementine]
It was the toughest thing ever, trying to think of anything to say. Hints of thoughts surfacing and fading, all while she watched her best friend weep in front of her, begging her not to go away, die like everyone else.
They both shared in that awful fucking burden. Good things, even the simplest of them, they always ended prematurely. Never with a proper goodbye. Never without forcing one to hog around sorrow and a mountain of regret. After seeing so many of her friends, people who didn't deserve it, die, over and over again; it left Clementine hollow for a long time.
Lee. He was the only one, for a while. The one who dragged her along, who kept her from giving into the fear that they'd die next. They were on their own for so long, Clem almost convinced herself that she preferred it that way. Who in the world could blame her? Not having anyone to lose just made everything so much easier.
Meeting Ellie and Joel felt pretty surreal in that regard. The ones who hadn't died yet. Clementine couldn't count the nights she'd lay awake, contemplating just how long they had left. How many more run-ins with walkers until they ran totally out of luck.
So, in a way, she did understand. It wasn't easy for anyone to pretend they weren't scared, worried about losing someone. She was scared, too. Terrified.
"Ellie…" Clementine called out in a soft mutter, those brows of hers refusing to lower even an inch. Even now, she couldn't stand to watch Ellie cry. Like it felt wrong, somehow, not seeing that smile on her face. Not having her throwing wisecracks or being a total pain in the neck. Maybe it was a silly thing to think… seeing all that spirit fade away, and… seeing that Ellie was just as scared as she was. It was a painful thing, but it was comforting one, too. Maybe they were both frightened crybabies. So long as they were terrified together, right? They could take on the whole world, just the two of them.
Clem reached her hands forward, taking hold of Ellie's wrists and pulling them closer, drawing the girl's attention to her eyes. "Ellie. Look at me." She uttered those words with conviction, her brows finally lowering, following behind the newfound intensity in her voice. "I'm not leaving you, alright? I'm not leaving." Before she knew it, Clementine's eyes were foggy with tears, the kind you only notice once they're already running down your cheeks, like small waterfalls. She really couldn't help it, not when that stupid friend of hers kept stirring her up like that.
"Please don't cry…"
Dot [Ellie]
But how do you know?
That morbid side of her reared its ugly head, and she clenched her eyes shut, desperately trying to rid herself of it. It was hard enough to keep herself from crying her eyes out as it was without adding a sense of pessimism on top of everything else she was dealing with.
Her body felt as if it was frozen, only moving when Clementine would move her hands around by her wrists. She was brought back to that dingy bathroom in Pittsburgh, where she'd first told Clementine about her immunity and how she got it. Guilt had eaten her away, leaving nothing behind but a crying mess. Now, at least, it was manageable, until the moment she noticed Clementine crying too.
That one hurt more than she could admit.
And that hurt was mirrored in Clem's own eyes, a look that all but screamed that she knew how Ellie felt, more than she'd probably be able to fully grasp. Loss had become a common part of life, especially so outside the quarantine zones, and the thought occurred to her that maybe she was being a little selfish. To think that her losses were greater than anyone else's, or that other people didn't worry about her , too. Her gut twisted, and she let her eyes drop to the ground between them.
A dozen things ran through her head, things that she could do to make this shitty situation a little bit better, but ultimately decided upon one thing.
She pulled her wrists out of Clem's grip, wrapping her arms around the girl in a tight embrace. If anything, they probably both needed a hug. She stuffed her face into the girl's shoulder, sniffling as she murmured the words into Clem's shirt.
"I'm not leaving you, too."
Art [Clementine]
Clementine's breathing slowed down to a halt as she felt her body melt between Ellie's arms, the girl leaning in for a hug. It came as a bit of a surprise, that, maybe a lot more than it should've. Hugging anyone other than Lee still felt like such a rare thing, like some kind of anomaly, and her shoulders reacted as such by leaping in response. How many people stuck around long enough for more than one? A lot less than she would've liked. Moments like that… they always went by so fast. That time, at least, she wanted to enjoy it. Try to, anyway. Give Ellie the best hug she could ever give... because God knows they both deserved it. Just one minute of that, a break from everything else.
Even in the sobbing mess of a state they were both in, Clementine still found the strength to smile, putting her arms around Ellie just as the other girl had. They stayed that way for a little while, though Clem couldn't tell how long. She couldn't care less. Clementine shut her eyes, letting her muscles relax, and her breathing go back to normal. Those tears still wouldn't stop, but she didn't try to stop them, hands clutching at Ellie's jacket, as though she was too scared of letting go.
That wasn't so bad. Staying that way for the rest of forever sounded pretty great, actually. Even for just one more minute. "We should really keep an eye on the horses…" Clementine softly reminded her, trying to get Ellie to pull away… though at that point, she wasn't that sure she could.
Dot [Ellie]
Clementine's words only made Ellie want to hold her tighter, to relish in that sense of peace that had started to wash over her. Maybe she was still scared, that by letting go she'd only allow her deepest fears to realize themselves.
Despite that, she eventually loosened her hold on her, pulling away before wiping the streaks of tears from her face. Her emotions were jumbled together in a chaotic soup, and she wasn't sure where one ended, and another began. Urges to go back to Clem or say something to make them both feel better about this whole thing, or… fuck , just kiss the damn girl for being such an awesome friend all floating on the surface of the metaphorical soup. Then again, she knew that wouldn't be the reason.
So, she scooted away from the baseball-capped girl, picking up the can of spaghetti once more as she scooped more of the noodles out, carefully eating them while she focused her attention on the two horses standing in the middle of the pathway.
A thought crossed her mind, only widening her smile.
"They better have a dart board after all of this."
Art [Clementine]
She had to fight hard not to roll her eyes. In your dreams, thought Clementine, those words just narrowly not escaping her tongue, for she kept them to herself. This time, at least, she was gonna let all that hopeless optimism slide. Hell, if Ellie kept believing hard enough, maybe it would happen, then she could rub it in her face for being a naysayer.
For better or for worse, Clem never got a chance to reply, as the resounding sound of that generator on the other side finally reached her ears. "That's them!" The girl cried triumphantly, swiftly standing up to greet the two adults. Well, before that, Clem had to make sure she and Ellie did their job right.
Whiskers looked pretty busy, licking a rotted tire on the ground like it was a large scoop of ice cream. When Clem approached him, she wasn't even sure what to do, worried he'd kick her head off for trying to pry him away from that rubbery goodness.
"Can't eat that, buddy," she said, caressing his mane to keep him relaxed. Way things were, she wouldn't be all that surprised if he actually went and did it. They couldn't afford to feed the horses any five-star meals, sadly. "I know you miss Andrea's food, but we're nearly there, 'kay?" Sometimes, she felt pretty dumb talking to a horse. Was it stubbornness? Hoping he'd eventually recognize the sound of her voice? A little bit. Mostly it was force of habit. With the gate open and the horses all rounded up, there was only one thing left to do. Clementine grinned sheepishly, holding Whisker's reigns on one hand, and extending her other arm to her right, where the gate was, purposefully playing up the inflection of the words that followed. "After you."
Dot [Ellie]
A relieved smile etched its way across Ellie's face as Joel and Lee finally returned, that sense of worry burrowing its way into her gut leaving in an instant. She picked herself up, discarding the empty spaghetti can before climbing back into the saddle on Callus.
When Clementine spoke, Ellie let out a playful " Pffft ," smiling as she bowed slightly before urging Callus to trot through the open gate. Once on the other side, her gaze fixated on Joel and Lee, stopping Callus with a soft "whoa!" before scooting back to allow room for Joel to clamber on.
"What took you guys so long?" She asked, her eyes bouncing between the two and the surrounding courtyard they'd found themselves in. Just above the buildings she could just about make out the top of the science building. They were getting closer. Thank God.
Ledge [Lee Everett]
"Can't be too careful around here, had to make sure none of the nasties were around." Lee offered up a half answer to Ellie's question, exchanging a knowing glance towards Joel before heading over to where Whiskers was. The satisfying sound of the generator in the background filled the air, although it probably wasn't a smart idea to linger around here too long. After all, they didn't want to be mistaken as trespassers by the Fireflies, or… dinner for the infected.
"Make room, coming up." Lee warned Clem, giving her time to scooch over and make way, before plonking his boot through the stirrup as he lifted himself up. Once he was back in position, he shot a look towards Clem. "This guy didn't act up while I was gone?" He spoke whilst directing his attention to the horse, giving him a few pats.
Art [Clementine]
Whiskers neighed loudly in response to the extra weight on his back, robbing a smirk from Clementine, who answered Lee's question with a good-humored "nope." I'd say he didn't act up enough, really. "He gets a little moody when he's hungry, but I can handle it," she added, looking over Lee's shoulder to see the horse wriggle and twist around.Such a baby. That smirk dissipated with time, making way for a drawn-out, disappointed sigh. "Still won't listen to me, though."
Dot [Ellie]
Ellie smiled as Clementine and Lee talked, thinking back to how Callus had pretty much immediately came to her when she'd offered the apple. As they passed through a narrow passage leading into the next courtyard, she spoke up, a chuckle following her words. "Clem wanted to bet Whiskers would come and eat her apple first." She explained, smirking. Just knowing that she had managed to beat out Clem on one game was enough to put her in a good mood, after all. Despite the circumstances, anyway.
She turned her attention towards Clementine, her smirk falling into something more genuine. "I could help you train him, after we get to the Fireflies. I – If you want."
Art [Clementine]
Clementine blinked twice, like that jittery voice coming from Ellie had turned her into stone. Not that she said anything wrong, mind you. Honestly, Clem wasn't sure what it was about it that had her so shy to say something back. Seeing Ellie that prone to help her out, even with small stuff like that? All those questions in the back of her head, refusing to go away? It was one or the other. Maybe both at the same time, muffling whatever words her mind tried to conjure up like a pair of loud drums.
Still, Clementine recovered fast, even with the confusing parade of thoughts underneath that baseball cap of hers. The suggestion inciting a warm smile to set in between her lips. "What do you think, boy?" She asked Whiskers excitedly, caressing the animal. "You wanna see if we can get Ellie to make you behave?" The teasing went unnoticed by the poor horse, though he did lightly scrape at the ground with his hoof, flaring his nostrils.
"That's a yes."
Dot [Ellie]
Ellie smiled warmly as Clementine, and Whiskers, responded to her offer. Part of her just wanted another reason to hang out with her friend after everything was said and done and they've saved the world, but she also just wanted… well, to do something nice for Clem. To help her out. After the last couple months, and the shit she pulled back in Jackson, she owed her that much.