CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Ana's GPS had promised the drive was less than three hours, so Ana planned for four, but at the three-hour mark, she was still in Utah. Away from Mammon, city-traffic was full of commuters who were all convinced they were going to heaven and didn't mind who they took with them. Exits were closed. Detours were confusingly marked, if at all. Ana had years of experience driving in Los Angeles, but she'd gotten too damn used to Mammon's empty streets and relaxed atmosphere. By the time the first hour was behind her, she had a splitting stress headache on top of everything else.

Even if the highway had been empty, she would have been late. As much as she wanted to get there, this was a heavily-loaded unfamiliar truck on unfamiliar roads in heavy rain. She took it slow, stayed alert and drove defensively, but no matter what she did, it could never be careful enough to appease the nervous bear in the back. Anytime she changed lanes or had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting some other jackhat, or hell, if the road itself just curved a little too much, she could expect a knock on the cab window, followed by Bonnie's increasingly long-suffering voice passing on Freddy's request that they stop somewhere because 'she' needed a break.

She tried not to let herself get too impatient with him, she really did. She understood that this was his first road trip, since he'd been shut down for transport in the past (something she came to appreciate more and more as these delays stacked up). He was making a hell of an effort here and the least she could do was meet him halfway, so yeah, she pulled over at a lot of scenic turnouts and read a lot of historical markers through the viewing holes as Chica exclaimed excitedly over everything she saw.

But it was easy to be sympathetic for the first two or three stops. After five or six, sympathy was in short supply. With eight came annoyance and by the tenth, she was just trying not to swear at him.

At last she came to the mountains, where the storm that had been following her since leaving Mammon turned to flurries of snow and sheeting ice, and the next time that knock came on the window behind her, she told Bonnie flatly that she was not going to stop in the pass and to quit asking or so help her God, she'd go right off the edge of one of these narrow winding roads and plummet a thousand feet down a steep icy slope and explode on the rocks at the bottom. She needed her goddamn concentration for other things, so they'd better find their fucking happy places and leave her the fuck alone.

"You heard her," she heard Bonnie say in a tone that made it plain he had reached his limit with this shit, too. "Just deal with it."

The window shut.

Feeling just the tiniest bit guilty, Ana cranked up the radio so the animatronics in the back had something else to listen to besides an engine and her attitude, and drove on.

It was indeed a long, steep, narrow, winding road and Ana was sharing it with way too many other vehicles, and the weather just got worse and worse and worse until all at once, she came down through the clouds and out into a sunny, cold November morning. The tension that had locked up her muscles for the last hour finally began to ease up. From here, it should be smooth riding right up until the invisible border, where Nevada waited to welcome her.

Knock-knock on the cab window.

Ana took a deep breath, let it out slow, and slid it open. "Yeah?"

In a cheerful don't-kill-the-messenger tone, Bonnie said, "Freddy thinks you should take a break."

Ana bit back the first thing that sprang to mind and said instead, "Tell Freddy I appreciate his input, but I don't need a break and I'm going to keep driving."

"Ana says—" Bonnie began.

"Tell her yes, she does," Freddy interrupted from further back in the truck. "She's been driving for five hours straight."

"Freddy says—"

"Oh I have not. I've taken a baker's goddamn dozen breaks, which is the only reason it's even taken five hours, and for crying out loud, we'll be there by noon! Just wait!"

"She says—"

"No," growled Freddy, "we'll be there at fifteen minutes after noon, because you're going to stop. Now."

"He says—"

"Fifteen minutes more or less is not going to make any damn difference!"

"No, it isn't, so pull over! That's an order!"

"Okay, well, you two clearly don't need me in the middle," Bonnie remarked and moved away from the window.

Ana had a few choice words that she didn't bother to mutter all the way under her breath, but there was a scenic turn-out just ahead, so she took it (braking a little harder than was strictly necessary). She got out of the driver's chair, refusing to admit even to herself how good it felt to stretch her legs, and walked around to the back. She unlocked the door, pushed it up and climbed in.

Chica was already out of her safety restraints and plastered to the wall, peering through the view-holes with an excess of fascination so that she could pretend she was not about to be trapped in an extremely small space with two fighting friends. Bonnie was also off the bench, leaned up against the cab wall with his arms folded and one leg kicked casually over the other to watch the fireworks. Foxy was still seated, slumped and staring at the floor, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

Ana checked on the storage chests holding all the parts, tightened a few straps, then sat down in Chica's place across from Freddy. "What's going on, big bear?"

Freddy grumbled without words deep in his speaker, his ears showing some inner conflict, but he didn't drop his gaze.

"I realize this is probably your first car-ride and maybe it's a little scary for you, but no matter what you're thinking, I'm a good driver," said Ana.

"I'm sure you are."

"Oh, you are, huh? Because you asking me to pull over every fifteen minutes for the last hundred miles sure doesn't give me that impression. So what is the problem here?"

"Hey," said Bonnie. He nodded, pointing with both ears at Foxy, still in that uncharacteristic slouch beside Ana with his eyes fixed on the ground between his bare metal feet. "Guess who gets carsick?"

Ana blinked, then swiveled around and stared.

Foxy's ear, already low, folded back and flattened, but otherwise he ignored her and Bonnie both.

She looked at Freddy; he grumbled again and dropped his eyes.

"No, he doesn't," Ana said inanely. "How the hell would that even work?"

"No idea," said Bonnie. "And he's a pirate, too. You'd think riding in a car would be easier than sailing on a ship, right? I mean, ships don't just go siiiide to siiiiide, they also go uuuuup and dooooown…"

Foxy bent a little further over his knees, opened his jaws wide and made a metallic yarking sound that was almost funny for the first startled second that she heard it, but which quickly lost its humor as she watched a man who didn't need to breathe actually choke on puke that wasn't there for nearly a full minute.

"My God," she said when it was finally over and Foxy was once again slumped on his elbows, cooling fan laboring. "Are you okay?"

"Right as rain, luv," he rasped and made a spitting sound. "I can taste it. Lord love a guppy, how does that work?"

"Try not to think about it too hard. Just take a break, give your guts a chance to settle—"

"I'm settled," Foxy said and spit again. "Just get us there, so's I can get me land legs back. Another hour, ye said? Can a bloke hope for long, flat, straight roads?"

She tried to call up a mental picture of the map ahead of her, but saw nothing but a squiggly purple line. She knew sitting blind in a box was only making it worse and it might help if Foxy sat up front with her, but she couldn't take the risk. It was one thing to glimpse an eye peeking at you from the side of an unmarked truck as you were driving down the highway; if a driver happened to look over and see a full-sized anthropomorphic fox riding along in the passenger seat of that truck…well, that was the kind of thing that made even the staunchest hang-up-and-drive proponent pull out a phone and start recording.

"I don't know what the roads are like," she said. "You might want to shut down until we get there."

He shook his head at once, then grimaced, hugging at his abdomen like it hurt, and slowly nodded.

"See you on the flip side, Captain," she said sympathetically and popped his chest case open.

He sagged into his restraints at once, head lolling, bent arm slipping off his leg to dangle over the truck's floor. Ana patted his unfeeling shoulder and got up, reaching through the small window into the cab for her day pack in the passenger seat. She managed to fish out a sweater and came back to tie the sleeves around his neck with the bulk of the sweater hanging down, preventing his chest panel from closing and waking him up. Her hands were shaking, she noticed. Low blood sugar, maybe. She should get something to eat at the next town, but watching the road roll by for hours had left her feeling a little sick to her stomach.

"You okay?" Bonnie asked.

"What?" Ana looked at him, showing a few teeth in a defensive smile. "Am I talking to myself again?"

"No, you're sweating."

"It's hot back here," she said mechanically, rubbing a hand over her face. But it wasn't, despite four animatronics regularly venting their cooling systems in an enclosed space. The truck wasn't made for hauling temperature-sensitive materials and even before Ana had drilled holes in the walls, it couldn't hold on to heat. She couldn't say it was all that better in the cab, because the heater fogged up the windows and she needed to see more than she needed to keep warm. She wasn't hot…but she was sweating. It didn't necessarily mean anything, until you added up her headache, shakiness and sour stomach. Maybe she was coming down with something.

'Or coming off something,' the voice of her conscience murmured.

'Fuck that, I am not an alcoholic,' she thought and gave Foxy's restraints a quick checking-over, changing the subject. "You should have told me he was having trouble."

"He didn't want us to say anything," said Freddy. "And believe it or not, I do occasionally try to respect my family's feelings. I just didn't realize…I should have known the impression I was giving you. I apologize for that. I have no problems with your driving."

"We're good, bear. It's all good." Ana gave the last strap a last tug and offered Freddy a weary smile. "We're almost there. And hopefully, in a week, we'll be on our way home. And a year from now, this is just going to be the part we leave out of the story because it pisses Foxy off."

"Are you kidding?" Bonnie snorted. "I'm going to write a song about it. The Ballad of the Carsick Sailor."

"Be nice," sighed Chica.

"I am going to sing it in the nicest possible way every single time I see him for the rest of our lives."

"You two are such children."

"Okay, well, I got to get back to it," Ana began.

"Wait," said Freddy. "We should have talked about this before now, but…when we get there…we're just animatronics, you understand? Highly advanced, but no more than that."

"Of course," she said, surprised he even thought he had to warn her. "What, did you think I was going to introduce you and there'd be handshakes all around?"

"No, but…" Freddy's eyes whined, pupils growing large and slow to shrink down again. "This man is an expert in the field and we…we were famous, once. I don't want him to recognize us, but he might, no matter what you do. If he does, our safety could depend upon him believing that our capabilities were grossly exaggerated back in the day, and that we were never more than a mechanical magician's stage props, cleverly rigged to misdirect our audience into believing we could do things no machine could ever do."

"He needs to believe you can do at least some of it," Ana countered. "If he doesn't think it's possible for you to walk, how hard will he try to put you back together in walking condition? What we need to sell him on is that you guys can't think. And that's on you, big bear. I can tell the guy you're just a bunch of fancy wind-up toys, but he's going to be watching you watch him and he's going to draw his own conclusions."

He grunted sour agreement. "I used to be good at pretending to be lifeless, but I've fallen out of the habit. I'm astonished we fooled you as long as we did."

"So am I," she admitted. "You're a great magician, a decent singer and a snappy dresser—"

Freddy immediately reached up and took his hat off.

"—but you're a terrible actor," she finished, still trying to smile like it didn't bother her at all to watch him reduce himself from the Freddy she knew to…just another bear.

"Let's hope I've improved," he grumbled, now loosening his tie. He pulled it away, carefully rolled it up and placed it in the hat, which he then passed to her. "And let's hope he's an honest man who genuinely intends to help you, but I have to consider that he might not be. Whether he knows who we are or not, if he's as good as he says he is, he'll know the technology that built us is worth something. Our material components alone have to be worth millions. I have to consider that he might try to take us from you. And if he does—"

"That's not going to happen."

Freddy put his ears down and raised his voice, pushing through his prepared speech like he was punching through a wall. "If he does, there's going to be a fight."

"You're damn right there is. Nobody's taking you away from me, bear, and anyone who tries is going to get a bandsaw to the face. I killed one guy to get you this far, you think I'm going to puss out now?"

Freddy shut his mouth and looked at her. They all looked at her.

Ana shrugged one shoulder. "For what it's worth, I don't think he'll try. I've got a pretty good danger-radar, even if I don't always listen to it, and he seems all right to me from the few phone calls we've had, but hey, I've been fooled before. He's got some kind of history with Rider, so the odds of him being totally on the up-and-up are slim to none. And you're right, you're worth a lot of money. That alone might be enough to tempt him to get the jump on me at some point." Thoughts of Blue intruded, never far from her mind—that last lunge in the Parts Room…and everything else that came after it. She shook her head to dispel the memory and said, "But he'll never get you away from me. If he tries, one of us is going to die and you've seen him." She laughed through her nose and spread her arms a little. "You've seen me. Who would you put money on, bear?"

"I don't want you to fight. I want you to run."

Ana queued up a "Hell, no," but swallowed it when Freddy's huge paw seized her little human hand.

"I need to know you'll run," he said, as quietly as his deep voice allowed. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Come on, bear. You're working yourself up over nothing. It's going to be okay."

"I'm trying to believe that, but right now, I'm in three pieces and far from home and I'm…"

"Not in control?" Ana guessed.

"Afraid," he finished, killing her crooked smile. "Not of what's going to happen, but of what I might do if the worst does. What I might do…to you. Yes, I know, you're not afraid of me," he sighed as Ana did her best not to roll her eyes. "Years of looking at violent graffiti has led me to believe I am so much scarier than I am…but it worries me just the same. So for my peace of mind, promise me you'll run. Please."

She placed her free hand atop his and gave it a little pat that hopefully served as both comfort and a reminder that she was breakable. "I promise."

His eyes moved left and right, reading her.

She smiled, trying to look honest. Maybe she was even successful. He relaxed his grip and took his hand back, anyway.

"I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing," he said. "I'll even let you tell me you told me so once we're safely back home."

"Deal." Ana got up, beckoning to a reluctant Chica. "Back in the saddle, sister. If we have the time, I'll try and take a more scenic route on the way back, but right now, I just need to get there so I can—"

She broke off there, suddenly flustered.

Freddy's facial mechanisms whined, arranging themselves in what should have been a smile. "Take a break?" he suggested.

She forced a small laugh. "Yeah," she said and then quickly climbed out of the hold and locked it down. Let him believe she was embarrassed because he'd caught her almost admitting she wanted the break she'd refused to take when he was the one telling her she needed it. Maybe it was even a little bit true, but it wasn't what she'd almost said. It wasn't rest she wanted. It was a drink.

'Focus,' she told herself brusquely, returning to the cab for the last leg of this interminable journey. She put Freddy's hat with the tie tucked inside on top of her day pack and climbed up to the driver's chair. 'You've got enough real problems, you don't need to go making up new ones. You're not an alcoholic. And if you're really worried that you might be drinking too much—you're not, but if you're worried about it—then just ease off it for a while. Prove that you can quit, if you wanted to. While you're staying with Yoshi, just stay straight. How hard can that be?'

She held her hands up before the wheel and watched them tremble. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw her pale, sunken-eyed, sweat-sheened face. She looked at her day pack on the seat beside her, and through the open flap, saw the half-gone bottle of whiskey sticking its neck out through a tangle of shirts and socks and panties. It was under all that because it was the first thing she'd packed, the one thing she wanted to make sure she'd brought, the one thing she did not want to leave behind.

As she stared at it, out of nowhere, she thought, 'If you take a drink and your hands stop shaking, you'll know,' and that sounded so reasonable, she almost did it.

Ana grabbed the bottle and, without giving herself time for second thoughts, kicked the driver's door open and threw it out into the rocky desert. She closed the door, started the engine, and drove away fast, like she thought it was going to grow feet and run after her.

There. Problem solved.