Chapter 44

Who are They to Me?

"—!" A sharp sting courses through my entire left arm. This is bad. I made sure Sylvie, Priscilla, and especially Ragnor, wouldn't see I had an injury, but I might have pushed it a bit too much than I could handle. It's numb. It's numb to the point I can't move it anymore. Well, I can still move it, but the recoil could bite me back. But I can't back out now because of this.

I can't lose any more than I have now.

There's a part of the plan where Sylvie will force them to lose trust in me. I never liked it, but she said it's necessary.

As I try to regain my composure, Sylvie's question about who was she, Nana and Kyle, and it also goes for Uni and the other CPUs, plus IF and Compa and also Histoire, comes forth in my mind once again, plaguing me.

Nepgear was the first one I met before meeting Compa, Neptune, and then IF. I never got the chance to know them better than I have now, but after Compa found out about 'it' I couldn't look at her eye-to-eye for a while. Has she told any of them about 'it' yet? I let her go to make that decision on her own when I left for Lastation. I was also expecting she'd tell them at some point. You could also say it was some form of test without a right answer.

The other CPU's however, I never got to know much other than Noire and Uni. I planned on getting to know all of them, taking a look at each of their nations, but with this whole thing happening, it's nothing but a distant dream.

What does Vert like? How does she act? What food does she like? Or drinks? Is she hiding any secrets from others? I don't know, and I probably will never know.

Blanc has some anger issues. I can tell after she verbally and almost physically abused me, but was she always like that? What made her like that? I also don't know, and I probably will never know.

The twins—how close are they to each other? I rarely saw them go around doing things together. What do they like? Do they enjoy staying as kids? Or do they want to grow up as fast as possible? I, again, don't know, and I probably will never know.

That's how much I know them. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic.

Should I have focused on getting to know them instead of following Sylvie around? Or perhaps if I chose not to go look for Nana when I heard of her, would I have been at Lowee? Or Leanbox?

I shake my head and approach Uni.

"You good there?" I ask Uni, who still has her hands on her head, in a low volume for the others not to hear.

"I'm alright, but tell me what to do already. Sylvie already told me to trust her on this, and you, so you better be grateful."

"Thank you. Now, all you need to do is fight your fellow Candidates to buy time. You can ask for my help if they're too much for you to handle."

"Heh, don't need it. I've been itching to have a serious fight with them. Nepgear holds back sometimes since we're friends and all."

Who are they to me? As I switch my gaze to Noire, who reciprocates with a sharp one of her own, the question floats around my mind again and again. There's no need to worry about what they think. I always tell this over and over again to myself after stepping into this world called Gamindustri. But for some reason, seeing them look at me with disgust and mistrust makes my heart ache. I need to make an extra effort to prevent myself from wavering my stare at them; I want to look away but can't.

It's a good thing they're distracted because of me, but it's only a matter of time before they snap out of it.

Who are they to me? If I answer the question to them the same way I told Sylvie, the answer won't sound genuine enough to convince them or me. It's wrong to put them in the same footing as Sylvie, Nana and, Kyle; and they deserve better than that.

Instead of answering without a single thought about it, I prefer to have enough nights to collect my thoughts and maybe I can come to a conclusion.

But Vert doesn't even give me the leisure of having a single night.

"Have you ever considered any of us as friends? Even a little?"

I want to bite my lip until the taste of iron fills my mouth again, I really do. But I can't waver. Not now.

"I'm not obligated to answer your question."

It's the only answer I can think of that doesn't lead to a far misunderstanding. Though, I doubt they'll reach a better conclusion.

I'm sorry. I keep saying this in my mind. That's right, it's something I can't voice out, and it probably never will leave the realm of my thoughts at all. Not anymore. Not until this is over. Until everything's been resolved. I have to be strong, for them and for myself.

If they ever plan to shun me or exile me once everything calms down, there's nothing I can do but let it happen. But, hey, if it happens, there won't need to worry about me anymore. I'll have enough nights to find another place to call home. As I did for the home I got in Lluna—my only home until now. Somewhere similar to Lunelit Forest. Somewhere where no one will find me. Somewhere where I can live the rest of my days without anyone who'll miss me.

I'll disappear, and I'm fine with that. I've already made too many sacrifices and broke my oaths, so this is my punishment.

If I ever do find a forest, there won't be a meddlesome Alice, the shopkeeper of Aurora village, who'll provide me with tea leaves in exchange for labor.

Where have those days gone?

Vert and the others, upon hearing my answer, ready their stances and raise their weapons. With a loud cry of the wind, the fight continues.

Nepgear hesitates to fight Uni until Ram snaps her out of it.

Noire, on the other hand, throws herself to me with her sword in hand. I don't like to do this as well, but Priscilla insists I use my daggers. The Mad Jester's Daggers. It's not a weapon I ever want to use, especially against people, but I've already made too many exceptions to worry about that now.

Blocking Noire's strike with the blade of my dagger, I push her away, pull back, and increase the distance between us.

I still remember what Vert did to me back on those days where we had our picnic. I never hated her for it. If anything, she gave me the idea that no one should take them lightly. And I haven't fought with other people ever since I stopped traveling and arrived in Gamindustri, so I don't want to get into an all-out duel against any of them; I'll lose in an instant.

There's no chance of winning. Not with my left arm about to collapse at any time.

But I don't need to win. All I need to do is to give enough time until the next phase of our plan comes into play.

That said, it's easier said than done. For a couple of clashes against her, I'm able to throw daggers with both of my hands, with one lagging behind a lot more than the other, but at some point the throbs on my injured arm becomes worse, so I have to resort to throwing with only one arm.

"Get ready!" I shout, throwing a handful of daggers on the ground below Neptune. The paralysis effect activates, sending out bolts of lighting, and renders her immobile. With a kick of my foot, I send her to the ground. I apologize to her again in my head for doing something so sly.

When it's Noire's turn to face me, however, she gives me no room to breathe and dishes out a series of slashes and thrusts. I dodge some, but the rest rips the fabric of my coat and grazes my skin.

She strikes down a slice, leaving me no room to deflect it. The impact pushes me back, and a small stream of blood trickles down on the sleeve of my white coat.

"Guh . . .!" I made a mistake. The arm she hit me was my left arm, and it still hadn't recovered from my encounter with the Gorgon Spirit.

I'm done for if it goes on like this.

But to my luck, she pulls back. She fails to see the single dagger I let fall in the middle of her relentless attacks earlier and bolts of lightning surround her.

As I try to use this opportunity to immobilize her like I did with Neptune, Rom's voice overpowers the noises from the other fights.

"I . . . can't let it end like this. Northern Cross!"

The next thing happens so fast, I barely get enough blinks in to see a large wave of water in a shade of deep red behind four more balls of light after the first ones.

I brace for impact, but there's no way I can block a large body of water about to hit me. The force drags me along until my back hits the large window of the Basilicom. After collecting myself, I help Uni, who also got dragged right next to me. She doesn't have any major injuries as I do. The endless throbbing of my left arm grows worse as time goes by, however, and it gives me no time to prepare myself for it. I can't hide the pained expression I have from Uni, but I can at least hide it from the others.

"Are you all right?" Uni asks in a whisper.

"I, urgh, I can't do much with my arm hurting like this, but it's nothing fatal. I'll be fine. There's still something we need to do."

I reach in my coat for my daggers again, but Kyle shouts, "Just tell us where the Shares are already!" Something glows on his right hand. It looks like a Mark, but I'm not sure. But it couldn't be it, though. That's impossible.

However, when Nana raises her arms forward with a talisman on each hand. Her left upper arm shines a bright azure color with another shape. The outline and the way it's shining is too similar to the Marks, but that's still impossible to happen.

They never had any of those when we were still hanging out back then. What could they be?

The ground trembles after Nana hears Kyle's command to summon something. But there's no doubt what it is. It's the one Sylvie told me before putting our plan into action.

The Demon Spirit, and its Spiritlings.

If she summons them now, Planeptune will become a city of ruins. But that's why Sylvie had us do her plan in the first place.

With a nod from Sylvie, I run towards Kyle.

There's a problem, though. With my current state, there's no way I can restrain any of them. But I don't need to. Amongst the confusion, I throw a single dagger to the sky with my only working arm. It bursts into a red ball of light, giving the last signal needed for those two to come out from hiding.

Without a moment's delay, Ragnor jumps out of hiding and knocks Nana away with the head of his spiked war mace that can also act as a chain flail. Priscilla, on the other hand, glides from above and traps Kyle's feet with ice from her weapon after he tries to lunge at me but fails.

I take a deep breath as the ground stops shaking and only the sound of a few rubbles hitting the ground remains.

"Actually, now that I think about it," Priscilla asks as she lands next to me, "was it really necessary to go through all of that just to restrain them like this? We could've opted to restrain them from the very start."

I chuckle and shake my head. "If I tell you it would've been as easy as that, then I'd be lying. Kyle and Nana are smarter than you think."

"Wish I'd see it for myself."

"It's already too late for that. It's all over. There's no reason for you to be disappointed."

She shrugs and leaves to talk to Ragnor, who is twirling and twisting his mace like there's no tomorrow. When Priscilla talks to him, he lets out a big yawn, in which Priscilla answers with a stomp on his toe.

"Ow! The hell's that fer, bitch?!"

Sylvie walks up to me. "Want to talk to them?"

I nod. There are things I want to know, but at least with this, our plan is a success.

~0~0~0~

Noire was indeed strong, but I underestimated her. I could've lost another working arm or worse if I hadn't been careful around her. If there's anything involving fighting any of them again, I'll call out. I don't want to go through that again, and their frightening strength isn't the sole reason why. Though, I've got to say, I haven't gotten something this exciting in a long while. It's quite refreshing, to say the least. Even if I did have a useless arm in the end.

But I'll save that for another time. Right now, we still have something to do with Nana and Kyle, who I told Sylvie and Uni to have them both kneel in front of me. I don't mean to make about anything with it, but maybe now I can say I know how it feels to be king.

There are a lot of questions swirling around my head, to the point where it's hard to pick which one to go first. Kyle, however, asks something himself first before I do.

"Is this how this will end? And to think Rivi, of all people, would do this to us?" He closes his eyes, a calm expression on his face.

"How could you?" Nana asks me next. "I thought we were friends."

Something twists in my stomach. It's more painful and hard to ignore than last time, and maybe it's because of them two and the words coming out of their mouths.

"My thoughts exactly," I say, taking a deep breath before sighing. It doesn't help remove the weight on my chest, however. "What you've done here is unforgivable."

There are still those Marks on their hands and their arms I want to know about. In the first place, how did they get them? How do they have it at all? It makes no sense at all. The Mark can't affect humanoids—it's impossible.

Nepgear, however, beats me first to ask them questions. She's done this many times already, but it's the least of my concerns at the moment.

"Why did you go this far just for Shares? If you're that determined to get them, why attack us? Couldn't you have just asked it from us calmly instead?"

Her question sounds reasonable, but . . .

"Tell me, then, if we did, would you let us?" Nana asks.

"Of course we will, right?" Nepgear asks her fellow CPUs but no one gives her their answers. They stand still, doing nothing. "Ah . . ."

"It's useless. No one in their right mind would help strangers like us."

Strangers like us. That's right, to them, to the CPUs, they're nothing but strangers. They don't know anything about them. Just like me; I'm still a stranger. Noire and Uni are the only two who got to know a bit of me, but is it enough to say we're not strangers anymore? I've lost their trust, and I've lied to them. I don't deserve to step over that boundary. And it's probably what Nana's thinking as well.

Nepgear lowers her head. She must not have an answer to that, but Noire steps up and asks them:

"Why do you need them in the first place? CPUs need Shares, and I doubt any of you are CPUs to need them," Noire says.

"I'm not answering you," Nana replies.

"Someone told us we needed them to complete the process."

"Kyle . . .?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. We've already lost everything. Just answer their questions and be done with it."

Nana sobs from his harsh tone. I want to tell Kyle that he was being too mean about it, but Nana might not appreciate the concerns I'm giving her stopping them from getting their goals. And besides, I'm in no position to tell them what they can or cannot do. They'll never listen to me.

"Who told you?" Vert asks next.

"The one who gave us this." Kyle puts his arm forward and let something sticking onto his skin, with its apricot glow, shine for everyone to see. Three overlapping diamonds with a large snowflake behind them; it's a shape I've never seen before. Not once have I ever seen a shape like this one. Nana does the same thing and puts her arm forward, a faint glow of azure color on the shape of two folding fans' edges connecting to the other; and Sylvie rolls the right short sleeve of her turquoise gown to show a pair of bird wings with the same color of her emerald eyes.

"Aren't those the same one that Killachine had before?" Uni asks me.

"They're similar, but not the same."

"What do you mean?"

Even I'm not so sure myself. I can make guesses, but there's no way I can know if they are also Marks or something else entirely.

"Tell them Maki," Kyle says.

He wants me to explain? I don't know what they are in the first place. They can't be Marks. And I've been saying this again and again, but humanoids can't receive Marks.

Kyle stands up and places his hands on my shoulders. The way he looks at me still has the same indifference, but his fingers tremble through the sleeve of my coat.

"You do know, do you not?"

I shake my head.

What's up with him? Is it really surprising that I don't know at all?

He turns to Sylvie. "Didn't you tell him?"

She doesn't answer.

"You didn't? You never told him? Why didn't you?" He lets go of my shoulders and stands face-to-face with Sylvie.

She sighs. "It's just as you said, it doesn't matter anymore."

"But why?!" Kyle's indifferent tone mixes with a choke.

I'm starting to feel like I'm missing out on something here. The way Sylvie worded it, it sounded like she's already given up on something. Why, though? We've already succeeded in stopping them from summoning the Demon Spirit. Why does she sound so defeated?

"Sylv, tell me." I can't go on without knowing what they're talking about any longer. "What are you hiding from me?"

She looks away and casts her head down. After a long pause, she answers, "You can't lie to yourself."

A crease form on my forehead. "Lie to myself? What do you mean?"

Removing her black silk gloves, Sylvie grabs both of my hands, intertwining our fingers together. When I look at them, they're shaking much more than Kyle's earlier. Is Sylvie scared? The shaking doesn't stop, and she grips my hands tighter. The fierce look on her eyes as she looks at mine, they're eyes full of confidence. Not a single flicker of doubt or fear.

"I've been waiting until you ask me, but you never did. But I'll tell you this now: You know it better than we do, Rivi. You shouldn't lie to yourself anymore."

It hits me when she calls me with that nickname again. A nickname I had long turned my back on. A nickname I had long forgotten. A nickname I had long abandoned after my mother did so with me.

When I heard her call me with that nickname again on our encounter in Lastation, it made me blind to the other things I also forgotten. Other things I . . . chose to never question about. Maybe I'm the one who's not accepting it, because no matter what, I can't turn myself from this fact, and it's a fact I already knew but failed to recognize.

Sylvie's right. I'm lying to myself.

Perhaps I never wanted to ask her after realizing for so long. I was avoiding it. And now, I can't escape from it any longer. Not when Sylvie's being direct with me right now. Her next words, however, snaps me back to reality.

"You know this better than we do. Kyle, Nana, and I—we're dead."