Hola my lovely readers! Do not fear, the reunion is here! Or [part 1] at least. I've quite struggled finding the right kind of chemistry between Keena and Eric since both are willing, yet still insecure and emotionally disturbed people. So this won't be the 'normal' type of 'I'm running into your arms at sunset ' kind of reunion set on some tropical beach in some beautiful magical country far far away. However, I stil hope y'all enjoy as they reunite in their own, little bit messier way.

And please review! For those of you who have reviewed, thank you so very much. I know I haven't actually done that much with all the criticism just yet, but I'm planning on going back and rewriting this story entirely once I finish it, so even if it takes a while, I am planning on using all of your tips!

Also, I know my spelling is horrible and I'm really truly sorry for that. I do hope it has improved somewhat overtime (because when I reread the earlier chapters of this story now, I already see a bunch of really stupid spelling mistakes I'm not quite sure how they got there). But even while my English has (hopefully) somewhat improved, it's still only my fourth.. well maybe third language and in combination with my dyslexia... let's just say shout out to all of you who survived this battlefield until now.

I'm really truly humbled that you're all reading this still!

As for the story: You'll see a lot of going back and forth in Eric's argumentations, wishes and expectations. Like I said, he is also a genuinely emotionally scarred person, so, you know... cut him some slack. I do quite fear I may have made him a little bit too soft in this chapter, so please let me know what you think. Agree? Disagree? No opinion? All is welcome to hear.

Anyway: Let's get to it.

EPOV

"Hey! Miss!" He heard his secretary shout. "You can't just go in there! Miss? Excuse me!"

Looking up from the paperwork on his desk he was just in time to see the small blonde bumbling ball of disorientated excitement and fear rolling into his office. The ball was named Keena and in all fairness, she wasn't really rolling. It would be too graceful a description.

Stumbling was more like it.

Before he could respond Maddy came storming in after her. "Sir, I'm so sorry!" The woman said, pulling at Keena's arm who shook her off with ease, catching his eyes.

"You better meant what I think you meant, Coulter!" She accused at the same time as his secretary tried in vain: "Miss, you really need to come with me!".

Obviously, Eric's eyes never drifted from the shorter girl. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair a mess and her eyes sparkled with emotions Eric could not quite place. On the one hand she looked totally and utterly frightened – wary and insecure – like an injured deer, while on the other she nearly combusted with anticipation and determination. The fire in her eyes was back. The type of fire he hadn't seen in months.

Hell, it was the most emotion he had seen from her so far – ever – and for the first time she wasn't trying to hide it either. Her body, face and eyes all betrayed her feelings and nervousness. For the first time she was an open book and he couldn't force himself to look away.

"You're dismissed, Madeleine." He told Maddy when she started to physically drag Keena out of there.

"But sir?" She asked confused, her eyes rolling over to Keena, as if she was a lunatic. "You were not to be disturbed?!" There was a clear dislike for his tolerance of the blonde in her voice. Jealousy perhaps. Not that Eric cared.

"Dis-missed." He hissed his ordered, without as much as a glance in her direction.

The confused woman left without another word and closed the door discretely behind her. As soon as the door clicked shut, the air in Eric's office grew heavy. Eric and Keena remained staring at each other for a while before Keena broke the silence.

"You look... tired."

It was a blank statement and if the sound of her voice had been the only thing to go by, she would've seemed unfazed by the whole encounter. Her fumbling with the zipper of her jacket gave her away though. She was nervous – greatly so – and for some reason her nerves unnerved him. Which annoyed him to no end.

"Geez. Thanks." Eric snarled bored, lifting a brow. "If that's all?"

Her eyes widened, only now realizing what she'd said it seemed. "No! I didn't... I mean, I don't know... I'm – I..." She stuttered, looking like a lost deer once again.

She shook her head, golden ringlets wiggling along with the movement and gently caressing her face. A humorless smile spread out on her face, her bottle green eyes alight. A battle between resilience and reluctance clear for him to see. God, she looked stunning. Confused, but stunning. The moment of momentarily awe ended however, when she glanced back to the door behind her. There was a trace of longing on her face, as if she'd rather be on the other side of it. Eric couldn't help but snort.

"If you're planning your escape, I like to remind you that it was you who invited yourself in here in the first place." His hand made a wavy gesture at the door. "By all means. Leave."

He meant it.

It was clear she hadn't figured things out yet, or else she wouldn't be standing there like a lost Bambi. Not that he blamed her for it. It was only logical she hadn't figured things out yet: It was barely 48 hours ago since their little encounter in the weapon's closet and for all her quickness in learning new fighting skills, she was outstandingly slow in learning to deal with her emotions. Blocking or hiding them? Sure thing. But recognizing and allowing herself to feel them? Not so much.

He truly didn't blame her. It had cost Eric months to recognize his feelings for her, and another few to come to terms with them and he'd been in a safe and secure place while doing so. He was in a position of authority, had already proved himself to this faction and established himself a life within. He had a steady job, a place to call home, a daily routine and a network of friends, coworkers and bloodsucking acquaintances. In short: Eric knew where he stood in life. For him this weird sex-turned-to-romance kind of thing (damn, he really did despise the word romance) had been the only new and disturbing factor in his life. But for Keena everything was new – the environment, the people, not to mention her memories – so, it seemed only natural it would take her longer to come to terms with her feelings than he had needed for his... Which is why he had told her to come and find him when she did. Whenever that might be.

It was a shit position to be in, for sure, and to be honest, Eric didn't know how long he would be able to wait it out. Best case scenario would be for her to storm into his office only days later: quite like she had done just now, only without that frightened look on her face. More likely was, however, for her to need weeks or months to figure it out, or it might even take years. Perhaps it would take her so long both of their feelings would fade off over time and they would learn to coexist alongside each other within the faction, both moving in different spheres. Their 'relationship' nothing more than a memory of the past as she smiled weakly at him every now and then when their gazes met.

Whatever.

He understood alright. His logical mind practically forced him to understand where she was coming from. Pity really. It would've been so much more convenient to just hate her and her frightened ways. To be able to be angry at the bitch that dared to make him feel something. To laugh it off as a one time experience, never to be repeated again.

Except he wanted to repeat it and he couldn't be angry at her. Because he understood. He fucking understood alright! She needed more time and more space and thus, he had given it to her: Not because she needed it – he wasn't that selfless – but because he hoped that she might – one day; perhaps; in her own damn time – come back to him. The alternative was so much worse: Turning into one of those clingy bed-partners that waited around, thinking they'd be the one to change a person. Yeah, he'd rather chop off his own ballsacks and feed them to the factionless than turn into one of those pathetic excuses of a person. He might love her, but he was still himself. He was proud and ruthless and had a reputation to uphold... and no fucking girl – not even Keena – was ever going to be able to make him forget about all sense of pride.

"No! I mean yes! I mean, I know that. But I'm not…" Keena's ramble brought him back to present and he regarded her as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, taking a few determined steps towards the desk he was still sitting behind.

She stepped even closer, her fingers caressing the wood of the tabletop. He could smell her now: A whisk of roasted coffee. A note of crisp mandarin. A hint of fresh mint... Something flowery too.

"That's not why I came here." She stated after a little silence. Her hand came up – almost as if wanting to reach out to him – but before she could, she quickly forced them down again, spinning on her heels and walking in a seemingly random direction.

"You started an investigation to my siblings' murderer." She stated briskly, looking around his office as if seeing it for the first time.

It was annoying him, he couldn't see her face. He wanted to know what she thought of it, but her voice gave no indication and her stance wasn't much of help either.

"I did." He settled on eventually, keeping his statement as neutral as possible.

"Why?"

Eric had expected her voice to be harsh and defensive, but was pleasantly surprised when he found it to be warm, soft and feminine. Even insecure. He couldn't help himself as he briefly closed his eyes, allowing himself to bask it in. It had been a long time – too long – since she last spoke to him in that way. A voice with such warmth, such trust, such awe.

"Eric?" She asked slightly more impatient.

Eric opened his eyes again and watched her back straighten just that tiny bit more, like meerkat: Unmoving. Straight like a stick. Sharply focussed at the task at hand, or in her case, awaiting his answer.

He couldn't for the life of him understand why she was so uptight about it. So anxious. So alert. Surely after all he'd said and done she couldn't be completely oblivious as to why he was doing this. She wasn't an idiot. Her instincts were barely ever wrong. This was the girl that had immediately looked his way after Gale got shot in his leg – twice - during Four's explanation of Capture the Flag. This was the girl that had practically been daring him to let her fall to her death when she let herself fall backwards off the roof that first day... She'd always had a sharp mind and there was no way she'd suddenly stopped using it now.

"You know why, Keena." Eric settled on, both his voice and face carefully devoid of any emotion. Not even fake annoyance.

He struggled to keep it that way when she turned around to face him. Big sparkling emeralds stared him down, ordering him to tell her out loud anyway. It was not lost on Eric she too put a lot of effort into appearing as emotionless as possible. Eric grimaced. They put on a good show, the two of them. It was clear as day they cared about each other, but both of them were too proud to be the first to utter the words out loud. But his was justified. He had already told her – multiple times – the ball was in her court now.

Eric scoffed when after three agonizing minutes of silence – that might have been only seconds; truly, he couldn't tell – she still refused to reply.

"After all that's said and done, you know why, Keena. It's up to you whether or not you're going to allow yourself to believe it."

She snapped her head to the side – away from his piercing gaze – and nibbled on her lip, probably contemplating his words. Christ, she looked so young when her insecurities showed. She was, he supposed. He forgot that sometimes. She usually looked so strong and confident, so full of life and fire, that he'd forgotten she was only 18 years old. 19 in a few weeks. Experience in love aside, it was amazing how mature she was in other aspects. She'd been forced to grow up too much and way too soon in her life. The realization hit hard and momentarily vanished all his annoyance with her.

"You're right." She settled on. Her forefinger and middle finger tapped her thumb alternately: Yet another sign she was nervous – really nervous – because it showed. Her nerves were so intense she simply couldn't keep up her normally stoic facade.

Eric closed his eyes. He couldn't do this. He couldn't sit here behind his desk with this disinterested look on his face when all he wanted was to reach out, touch her face and smooth out that troubled wrinkle on her forehead. To kiss her, and hold her, and tell her all would be well. That he would catch her when she'd fell. That he would protect her and keep her safe her.

And punish all of those who had wronged her.

And it wouldn't be because he hoped that those actions would bring her back into his life again. Yes, he hoped that would happen too, but that wasn't the reason for his vengeance on a murderer. He wasn't trying to impress her with starting this investigation. He was only trying to bring justice where it needed to be served.

And perhaps safe some of his own sanity while doing it.

That's right. The entirety of Dauntless wasn't completely wrong about him. He really was selfish. And violent. Ruthless in obtaining whatever it was he wanted, and right now he was out for blood. The blood of a criminal. A killer. A kid mass murderer.

This wasn't for her. He never was and never would be a chivalrous man. He only did things when they served his best interest and he'd felt so sick and nauseous after watching her go through her fearlandscape, that he just had to do something. Not forher, but for him. Because he was going insane with the knowledge of a child killer on the loose in his city. He would honestly burn this city down if that's what it took to catch this monster. Justice had to be served.

Or so he had sold it to Max.

And it was true. For the biggest part anyway. He had started this investigation out of moral obligations, yes, and would've done so regardless of the person it had happened to, but that didn't mean he wasn't anxious for her response. Perhaps Keena just wanted to let it rest. Leave the past in the past, so to speak. She wouldn't gain back her siblings with it after all. No matter what they did. What he did. Because the truth was, that his burning desire to punish – if not kill – this sick bastard actually was more pronounced knowing she'd been the one harmed.

She'd almost died that night and he wouldn't have been the wiser. He would never even gotten the chance to meet her, to get to know her. He would never have experienced that sheer thrill of seeing that roaring fire in her eyes, challenging him for this or that. He would never have known how interesting she formulated her sentences, full with hidden meanings, riddles and deeper knowledge. He would never have known what it was to love...

God. He really hoped she was grateful for this investigation. Without her cooperation catching the killer would be a nearly impossible.

"Eric?" Her soft feminine voice brought him back to present and he opened his eyes to watch her biting the inside of her cheek. "Thank you." She swallowed. "For starting the investigation. I – I appreciate it. I do."

And just like that, relief washed over him. He hadn't realized just how anxious he'd been for her approval until he had it. Not that he showed it of course. Instead, he stared her down, waiting for her to say something else but nothing came.

A shame.

For a tiny second there, he'd taught – or hoped – that she had figured things out. That she was ready to admit her feelings to him – and herself – but it wasn't going to happen. She just came to thank him for starting the investigation. She was grateful, but she hadn't figured anything out. She wasn't going to talk about the why of things... Nothing had changed. She was still too afraid to admit something was there between them. That feelings were involved.

And although he understood she hadn't figured it out yet, it also made him angry she hadn't stayed away from him. He had offered her all the time and space in the world; told her to come find him after she'd figured things out... He was willing to leave her alone but it also meant she ought to return the favor. It wasn't fair of her to just barge into his office like she owned the place only to backtrack when things got too intense for her. Things were intense for him as well. He wasn't exactly an old pro on this whole concept of 'love' either. She couldn't expect him to be fine with her haunting him with her presence, when she was also the one placing restrictions on how he could act in her presence. He couldn't think properly when she was around. Not as long as he wasn't allowed to call her his, to be able to touch her, hold her, or even just fucking talk to her.

She was so good at holding a conversation – the real ones – not the small-talk thing he despised other people for doing. She had knowledge and a surprising view on things. Her funny little facts or her talent of stirring conversations to topics she'd been silently mulling over for a while always captured his attention in full. She made it look so effortless. So artful. So casual. As if what she was saying wasn't significant at all. As if she'd barely given it any thought anyway. And he would've believed it, if not for her eyes.

Her eyes had always sold her out.

Not that he'd ever told her that: She would've instantly seized speaking to him altogether – at least the important things; the things that mattered to her – and those where already scarce enough as it was.

Now though, he couldn't recognize anything in her eyes. No, that wasn't right. He could recognize a lot of things in the depths of her eyes, but it was no help. There was a raging battle between so many contradictions it made his head spin. Determination vs. insecurity. Stubbornness vs. indecisiveness. Relaxation vs. fear.

Eric wished he hadn't recognized them – the determination, the stubbornness, the relaxation – because they rendered a lot of memories to the surface: A determined look on her face as she pushed him back onto the bed, her naked body sensually crawling over his; The stubbornly narrowed eyes as she complained about the amount of sugar he put into his morning coffee; And his favorite, that sparkle of happiness and trust in her eyes as she nestled herself into his arms on the couch; That sigh of total relaxation as he smoothed down her hair, massaged her back or kissed her forehead.

She'd been relaxed around him. She'd trusted him enough for her to feel safe and sound with him. Secure. And everytime she'd done that, it had given him this ridiculous but wonderful sense of pride.

She'd trusted him.
She'd felt safe with him.
She'd felt at home with him.

His heart ached to experience that again sometime. Soon, hopefully. But she wasn't ready to do so.

Not now.
Not yet.

Possibly never.

With effort, Eric forced his gaze away from her bright sparkling eyes. He needed her out his office and soon, because his anger was slowly rising to the surface again. Goddamnit he had told her to come find him after she'd figured things.

"It's my job." He sneered at her, the irritation in his voice obviously surprising her. "Which I'm quite eager to return to. So if you don't mind..." He looked pointedly at the door.

Keena blushed and stammered, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly without forming any real words, before eventually settling on closing it. She shook her head in confusion and Eric watched her turn around, shoulders slumped and her gait slightly off as she made her way over to the door. Her hand was on the handle now, and she pushed it down slowly but surely... but it never opened.

She was lingering.
She wasn't going to leave.
For fuck's sake. He needed her to leave.

Because this – whatever this was between them; this limbo; this hell of something-but-not-quite; this agony of hope-without-promise – it was killing him. She needed to get out and leave him be until after she'd figured things out... After all they've went through, he was sure she loved him, but there was no point in that – no hope – as long as she didn't want or trust herself to do it. And thus, he'd set her free. There was no point in waiting around for someone who didn't want to feel anything. He'd been like that for the biggest part of his life and he had laughed at the girls clinging to him, thinking they would be the once to change him. It was a joke. They couldn't change him. No one could ever change anyone. Not even Keena had been able to change him.

Sure, Keena might've initiated the change in him – she was a special girl, worth changing for – but the change had come solely from within himself. It had taken him weeks to recognize his annoyance for her was actually lust. Months before he recognized that lust for like and even another few months to fully comprehend just how much he actually 'liked' her. Adored her. Loved her.

Eric was a man that always got what he wanted, because he worked for it – hard – and possessed the patience and stamina not to give up when things got hard. But he'd never wanted a girl before. A living and breathing person. Persistence could have the opposite effect on people. It could scare them off, especially when dealing with such a complex and emotionally scarred person as Keena. His perseverance wouldn't get him anywhere with her. She needed to figure this out on her own... Which is why he told her to come find him after she figured things out.

It was just cruel to come storming in here and remind him just how beautiful she really was. To remind him just how cute pink flustered cheeks looked on her. To remind him just how much he really truly missed her.

She needed to leave...

But perhaps – just maybe – he had a reason to hope again. Just maybe she was just gathering all the courage she could muster to tell him what he'd wanted to hear all along. Just maybe she only needed that one tiny little push from him to admit some things out loud.

Fine. He would give her one little push – breach the topic – but that would be it. If she wouldn't take the bait at once, he would order her out with his infamous demanding-leader voice.

"Look. If your not ready..." Eric started shuffling some papers on his desk, trying to appear busy in order not having to look at her. "That's fine. Just go. Be on your marry little way and get the hell out of my office. Unlike you, I do have a job. I have more important things to do than waiting around for you to figure shit out."

She took the bait.

"But I have." She whispered almost soundlessly.

On instant, Eric snapped his eyes away from the papers and up to the door, hoping to find hers looking at him in return, but of course they weren't. She was still standing with her back to him. Her delicate little hand still on the doorknob too.

"What?" To his dismay, his voice sounded as surprised as he felt. Hell, was shocked. There was a buzz in his ears, his head was spinning and for a moment there, Eric was willing to bet his life on it his heart had stopped beating. Not anymore. Now it was beating like a madman, but he tried to control his breathing enough for it to slow down again.

"I have figured it out." Keena continued, still with her back towards him. "I'm just scared, Eric."

His name rolling of her tongue was like a sweet caress and an indescribable feeling started in his stomach. Eric cleared his throat before urging her to continue.

"Of what?" He asked.

Keena chuckled emptily. "I'm pretty sure you'd kick me out of Dauntless if I'd listed all of it." She said. Only semi-joking. "I'm supposed to be brave, but..." She trailed off.

Eric regarded her for a second but with her backside ever still turned towards him, he couldn't make out much. It annoyed him severely. He needed to see her face – her eyes – to decipher what she was so afraid of. He didn't know her like this. Hell, this entire encounter was nothing short but out of character for her. She'd never been one to bite her tongue. She was sharp, candid, direct. Always told him exactly how it was or – when she did choose to remain silent – it was always because she had something on you. A secret. A 'I know something you don't' or worse: 'I know something you don't want me to know', but not this 'too afraid to even look at you' kind of act. He even preferred her frightened Bambi-eyes over this.

"Turn around, Keena." He ordered. "You're a dauntless now. The least you can do is face me."

There was an intended sneer in his voice. He'd been acting in her best interest for months now, keeping his distance so she could focus on getting through initiation. But initiation had ended two days ago and she had officially become a Dauntless member. It was about time she started acting like one. Or better yet: It was time for him to stop acting like a fucking Stiff around her. He wasn't selfless, he was selfish. He wanted her and he wanted her to want him back. He wanted to touch her and hold her and fuck her senseless. He wanted to claim her as his and his alone, so no other man here in Dauntless even dared to look at her in the wrong way, let alone touch her. He wanted her in his bed, cuddling up to his side, or in his kitchen, happily sipping her morning coffee. Hell, even if nothing else, he would still be more than happy to just have her on his couch, maneuvering her bare feet underneath his shirt to warm them up to the heat of his skin, while he answered some emails on his laptop. And that was saying something. Her feet was like ice. Painfully cold, like frostbite.

A movement in his eyesight made him snap back to present.

Keena complied with his order with some obvious effort, carefully letting go of the doorknob as if releasing it would ignite a bomb down in the Pitt. She was biting her lip again. Pulling it between her teeth and moving it around, an insecure little look on her face. Her eyes purposefully downcast on the floor.

"I'm not going to say it again." Eric drawled unimpressed. "If you've got something to say, say it now. Or else leave my office, but don't just stand there like a useless Amity flower, waisting my time."

She glanced at the door again, this time with more determination in her eyes. He could literally see the debate in her eyes and the cons seemed to gain the upper hand over the pros. Perhaps he had been too hard on her... Alright then: One more chance – one last push – but that would be it... For real this time. Or so he kept trying to convince himself. He would probably give her another 40 if needed.

"Keena, what are you doing here?" He asked sternly, just as she was about to turn back to the door again. Only those who knew him best would be able to detect the smallest hint of gentleness in his voice. He knew she would. "And none of your funny games right now. Just... The truth, please. All of it."

His usage of the word 'please' surprised her, he could tell, but it seemed to do it's job. His words a little reference to their conversation in the weapon's closet two days prior: An encouragement of sorts, that he'd meant every single one of his words spoken that evening.

"I..." She closed her eyes, as if in pain, but she pushed through. "I miss you, Eric." She admitted, looking incredibly small and vulnerable while doing so. She briefly glanced up to gauge his reaction, but Eric knew his mask to be firm in place.

His appearance was as calm as his mind was not.

For some reason his stoicism only seemed to spur her on though. Perhaps because it was familiar territory for her, or perhaps because it made her angry. Whatever the reason, her walls crumbled down and the dams broke. Out rushed a stream of words. A chaotic ramble that didn't make any sense to him, but at least she was talking, so he kept his silence and listened.

"I miss you okay? I know it's stupid after all this time and I'm sorry I didn't say so before – I'm sorry for a lot of things, actually – most of all for saying all those things... You know? On the roof? When you were... And I was..." She made a nasty face, taking a deep breath as she walked back in his general direction, before settling on pacing back and forth alongside his desk. "I thought I knew how it worked, you know? But I didn't. Mira and Lara made me realize that. They made me see. It was as if I were blind before. I had no eyes! Not one! And I don't want to die with twelve cats, okay? Which is where I am heading if I don't change something soon... And you've told me things – nice things – that made me feel good and happy but I disregarded it because I thought I couldn't trust you. And I probably shouldn't but –"

"Are you scared of me?" Eric asked, voice devoid of emotion. It wasn't as if it a new occurrence to him. People were afraid of him all the time, although adding his love-interest to the list was definitely a new occurrence.

"What?! No! No, of course not!" She exclaimed almost frantically, turning to face him with an incredulous look on her face as if he'd just told her he spend his time off skipping through Amity's flower fields wearing a yellow dress. She caught herself quickly though. "I'm not afraid of you, Eric. Don't flatter yourself that much."

"You just told me you don't trust me."

A small smile broke out as he saw her eyes turn into flames. Green flames of irate wickedness, passion, life. Finally. No more fear.

"No. I just told you I thought I couldn't trust you." She told stubbornly, her green eyes boring into his blue ones with unspoken meaning. It took him all he had not to get up from his desk and walk over to her, although he wasn't certain whether he wanted to kiss her, fight her or throw her out. A combination of all three, maybe. "And that has nothing to do with being scared of you!"

"Right." He snorted.

It turned out to be her - not him - who initiated to close the gap between them. She stalked up to him and slammed her fists on the desk, eyes narrowing in on him. Eric consciously crossed his feet and rested his arms on the desk to ground himself a bit more. Don't get up. Don't reach out. Don't touch her. He repeated to himself.

"What? Is your ego having trouble believing somebody isn't frightened by the mere sight of you?!"

"Well excuse me for not believing you're not scared of me when not a minute ago you stood there like a quivering Chihuahua!"

"Did you just call me a dog?!"

"Only if said dog is small, quivering and fragile looking and has big terrified eyes."

"ARE YOU FACKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!" She screamed, blazing fire. "I'm not scared of you! I never was. So you and your big fat ego will just have to learn how to live with that!"

She was cute when she was mad. Not that she really was of course. It was all an act. She was just nervous – feeling vulnerable – and she disguised it as being annoyed and angry because it was easier that way. He understood. Hell, he could relate. He'd been nothing but cold towards her since the minute she'd set foot into his office, but that was only his exterior. On the inside though... Emotions were boiling and burning and ready to burst. He didn't know for how much longer he could force himself to stay put behind his desk. His entire body was yearning to get up and close the last cold inches of distance between them. He was longing to kiss her, or fight her, or whatever it was they would do. What she would allow him to do. His hands were just itching to touch her again. To feel that silky smooth skin underneath his fingertips and the goosebumps that inevitably would follow. Her full soft lips against his own. Her fingers clutching and scratching at his back and neck.

"Fine." Eric threw up his hands in defeat, shaking himself from his lust. "You're not scared of me, but you can't trust me either? Is that the summary here?"

"No, I –"

"Great. Glad we figured that out." He interrupted her.

"Eric!"

"Now if you will excuse–"

"Will you just shut up and listen!" She yelled heatedly at him, her hands flying into the air in exasperation. "You told me to come find you when I figured things out, and I have, so: Here. I. Am!"

"You think you've figured things out?!" Eric chuckled without humor, clearly not believing her.

"I don't think, I know."

Eric merely sighed and rubbed his temple, trying to avoid that upcoming headache. He didn't believe her, even if she believed herself. She might think she'd figured it out, but she hadn't. She was still so... timid. So insecure about the entire situation.

"I have figured it out, Eric." Her voice back to small again. "I really have, if you'd just –"

"No, you haven't." He sneered, cutting her off again. Her anger instantly flamed up again. He couldn't care less. He didn't want to hear what she had to say. What she supposedly had figured out.

"Yes, I have!" She bit back. "I trust you, Eric! Whether you like it or not, I do. I mean I thought I didn't – that I couldn't – but I do!"

"You do?" Eric snorted, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"Ye-es!" Keena exclaimed, obviously irked with him.

"Why?!" It was an honest question.

She brought up her hands to her head again, struggling for words. "Because I do!" She settled on lamely.

Right... "You just thought you couldn't but you do. Because you do." He repeated in a mock voice. "Congratulations Keena. That officially explains nothing."

"It does actually!" She emphasized and for some magical reason far behind his realistic comprehension, she sighed – deeply – as if about to explain something to a five-year-old for the ninth time in a row. "And if you could just keep your snarky little remarks to your self for five seconds, like a normal adult, I could actually explain it to you!"

He narrowed his eyes at her before waving his hand as to motion for her to get on with it. "Fine. By all means." He gave her as a spoken start-sign. "Blow me away."

He didn't believe her. Not really. She was a smart and intelligent girl. She would know he wasn't safe. She knew that. He knew that. Hell, everyone in Dauntless knew this.

He was the strongest man in Dauntless, both physically as mentally, which was saying something with all those peacocks roaming around here. He was, in a sense, the alpha of alphas and he sure as hell wasn't afraid to use his authority whenever he deemed fit. He was ruthless, relentless, undefeated. The type of mean you listened to in the face of danger because he was never wrong. And this wasn't because of his impeccable instincts, natural intelligence or sheer luck, but because he would make damn sure he was never wrong: His ego wouldn't survive making a mistake and be responsible of other people's deaths (which is why Four's distrust for his training methods with the initiates bothered him so. He would never actually let them die on his watch).

He was a leader. One that took responsibility not only for his own actions, but also for the actions of those he'd sworn to protect and lead. His soldiers. The faction. Hell, at times this entire city. To do so, he needed to make decisions other people didn't want to make – or couldn't – because they weren't strong enough. They weren't emotionless enough. They couldn't separate their heads from their hearts long enough to make a difficult but necessary decision. But he could. That's what made him so dangerous. So ruthless, unpredictable and emotionally unreliable.

He was not the good guy – the safe bet – the type of man she could count on for a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. He wasn't the type of man to hold her hand and tell her everything would turn out alright. He wasn't going to cheer her up from her shitty day. Hell, he didn't even know if he could offer her his loyalty. Other girls had all bored him after one good fuck and although Keena had been an exception to that rule, who was to say he wouldn't tire of her eventually? Even if he couldn't imagine it now, it was a possibility. A likely one, if statistics had any say in it.

He would hurt her and although he still wanted her to want him, he wanted her to make the decision with her eyes wide open. This wasn't a fairytale. He wasn't her prince charming, saving the day, and she wasn't some innocent princess either. They were two emotionally fucked up people who preferred being emotionally fucked up together, because they enjoyed it more that way. They played games and challenged each other – made each other laugh – no matter how reluctant it sometimes was. She was a pain in his ass. He a thorn in her eye. But it worked for them, because they mutually infuriated each other. It was their way of showing affection... most of the time anyway. He really wanted her to want him – to love him – but she shouldn't delude herself into trusting him. He would hurt her. He would. It was a matter of when not if. At least he wasn't trying to delude himself into anything other than that. If she choose him – and god, he hoped she would – she should do it with that in mind.

Keena sighed, collecting her thoughts. "Look. I thought I didn't trust you, that I couldn't –"

"Repeating it doesn't make it sound any less dense as it did before."

"but as it turns out..." She continued unbothered, looking at him unimpressed. "I just do. Logically I shouldn't because – well, you know – you're you. You're mean and violent and everything. But somehow I still trust you. Just like Lara does Jasper!"

"What do they have to do with anything?"

"Well, nothing directly, but –"

"Great. Than leave them out of it and get to the point."

"I trust you, Eric. That was my point."

"So you came all this way to tell me that?"

"No, I –"

"You trusting me, is what you've figured out?"

"Well, yes, that and –"

"And you think that's what I was aiming for?"

"Not precisely, but it's –"

"And then to think it's not even true!"

"It is!"

"Just go if you've got nothing sensible to say."

"I do!"

"It's abundantly clear to me that I was right and you were wrong. You haven't figured anything out so if you'd –"

"For fuck's sake Eric! Do you need me to duct tape your mouth shut?!" She slammed her fists on the desk with such force his pencil holder was knocked over.

"Do you need me to physically throw you out my office?!" He barked back, before a cruel smile slipped onto his face. "Or better yet, all the way down the Chasm?"

She looked at him askew. "You wouldn't dare." It was a question. He had done it to people before after all.

"Try me." He bit back in his darkest voice.

Green locked on blue, and visa versa, as the two stared each other down. Eric lost himself in their heated competition before she finally snapped her eyes away. He instantly missed the green flames burning his soul.

"Jesus, Eric." Keena sighed, sounding exhausted. "What do you want from me?! Why is it so hard for you to believe I trust you?!"

"Because I'm an asshole, Keena." He told her in his smug 'I'm your superior, so you better fucking listen' voice, as he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head in an effort to hide the slight tremor in them. "I'm a sick, arrogant bastard."

She shook her head, confused as to why he was acting like this.

"Cynical and haughty." He drawled bored.

She smiled. "Well... yeah."

"Ruthless... Emotionless." He continued, putting more resentment in his voice in hopes her smile would vanish. He couldn't concentrate with it. Luckily for him, it worked. Her smile was quickly replaced by a frown.

"You're not actually–"

"Some might even say heartless."

"Eric." Keena intervene with a soft sweet voice, shaking her head.

He ignored it. "I will hurt anyone and everyone standing in my way." He continued his warning, leaning forward again to add to his intimidation. He also starting drumming his fingers on the desk now, another attempt to hide their trembling from her perceptual gaze, but her gaze was on them, so he wasn't sure it worked. "And I won't lose a moment's sleep over it."

Silence followed.

"So?" She asked him eventually, when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything else anytime soon. Her eyes were still fixed on his hands, drumming away on his desktop. "I still trust you, Eric. You might be all those things, but I still trust you."

"Come now, Keena. I never took you for stupidity. Trusting me is suicide."

She looked up at him then, smiling softly – fondly even. She knew. She'd seen the tremble in his hands and was calling him on his bluff. And all of that evident because of her knowing little smile.

"I like my odds." She told him in a small voice that had him awestruck, honesty sparkling in her eyes. Never before had she sounded so vulnerable. It was so very unlike her that Eric didn't know how to respond. So he remained silent. "I know what I want now, Eric. I think somewhere I've always known. Unwittingly I know a lot, it appears..." She trailed off, a bitter smile playing on her lips this time before she literally shook it off.

She spun on her heels and started wondering through his office, taking everything in as if it was the first time she'd ever seen it. She stopped by one of the paintings on the wall, her back towards him.

"But I'm Dauntless now." She spun on her heels and continued her pacing, still not looking at him. "I should be brave on all fronts of my life, or else I'll die with twelve cats..."

The cats again? What's with the... You know what? He didn't even want to know.

She sighed in a way that indicated she was drifting off, lost in her own thoughts, but he couldn't tell for sure. Not while she persisted on hiding her face behind that curtain of golden curls.

"Twelve cats..." She repeated with a soft chuckle. "I imagine one is enough. Someday. Maybe..." She walked over to another painting, giving it equal attention as she had given the one proceeding it. "You know I never even owned a cat, or any other pet for that matter?" She asked to no one in particular. "I could be allergic. Who knows really? I definitely don't."

Alrighty then...

She crossed the room, caressing the cushions of the sofa as she walked. "I don't know anything these days, it seems. Not if it's about stuff like this. Not about you.. or me.." A pause and then: "Or Us."

There's an us now, hm?

Eric squeezed his eyes in contemplation as he followed her every movement. She stopped before the bookshelves to his left, her eyes skimming the covers.

"I really thought I had it all figured out, but you can't teach yourself what you don't know. It's like a blind man teaching himself what's green and what's blue." She was still not facing him, and goddamnit, how he wanted her to face him. "I was blind, Eric, and I'm sorry for that. But yesterday... My friends showed me, you know? They made me realize that I am both! I am both Mira and her parents. Parent-Me is protecting Mira-Me... Or was, I suppose."

Was she tripping?

She took out a random book from the shelves, eyeing it with interest. Eric couldn't help but smirk. It was kinda cute how much effort she put into trying to appear casual about the entire situation. So calm. So relaxed. Like it didn't even bother her at all. He knew it did for a fact... Which was why she hadn't realized she was holding a book on the daily doses of nutrition for bodybuilders.

"But I want to be Mira-Me. I want to be free and happy. Just because I was clueless, doesn't mean I can't learn." Keena continued casually, as she supposedly 'read the back' of the book.

That was it. This whole 'look at me being all casual' act was just too damn adorable.

Grinning, Eric got up from his seat and stepped around his desk soundlessly. Settling on leaning against it from the side, he was now directly behind her. If he so much as pleased, he would only have to reach an arm out to touch her. Keena – in the meanwhile – put back the book and trailed her fingers over a different row, before taking out another – equally boring – book about city statistics.

That was the thing about the books in his office: Only Dauntless-approved books were to be found here. Books filled with obvious 'knowledge' – aka rational thinking – that could help him become stronger or a better and more knowledgable leader in the field. He could hardly put something he would actually read for fun into his working space. That's why he had his small personal library back at home. One that actually offered some interesting books. He would never outgrow his erudite entirely.

"So I thought about it some more last night, and I think I understand it more clearly now." Keena continued. Her blonde curls were still shielding most of her face, so he doubted she'd even noticed his change in position. And indeed, when she turned around to face him she yelped in surprise of finding him closer than she'd expected him to be.

"Eric – I..." She stammered and gasped, all of that nonchalant facade instantly vanished into thin air. "About what you said. The figuring things out... I'm not – that is to say; Rome wasn't build in a day, but if you – I mean, I would understand if you don't want to but... I would so much rather figure things out, you know, with... you. There... As well." She blinked up at him from below her eyelashes, insecurely trying to measure his opinion. A beautiful pink blush was coloring her cheeks.

Okay. He'd heard enough.

She may be an exceptionally shitty speech-giver – perhaps even the worst he'd ever met – and yes, he'd only understood half of what she had said, but it was enough. He got the gist of it: She was trying to open up to him and had miraculously decided to trust him against her better knowledge... Perhaps she really had figured things out.

He searched her eyes – her soul – and the depth that lay beyond. The warmth, the shyness, the insecurity. He trailed her face, her cheeks her jaw. He watched her swallow and wet her lips, a worrying little nibble on her juicy bottom lip.

Afraid of his response.

"Come here." He ushered, grabbing hold of her wrist and gently pulling her into his embrace. It was a good thing he was leaning against his desk, he was shorter this way and able to kiss her forehead without having lean forward.

Tentatively he let his hands trail up her arms, both of them lost for air. There was a spark when his fingers reached her neckline, touching the smooth skin just below her collarbone. He watched her chest heave in anticipation as his hands encircled her neck with ease, his thumb softly brushing over her barely perceptual Adam's apple. She swallowed hard, making it bob.

His other fingers by now clawed their way into her hair as his finger stroked the skin from her jaw to her temple, forcing her head up slightly.

"Keena." He rumbled lowly, implicitly ordering her to force her gaze up from his mouth to his eyes. She did. "If you let me kiss you now, there's no way back." He warned her honestly. "I won't back off again."

"Good." She told him seriously, her gaze flicking to his lips. "I don't want you to." And before he could kiss her, she had already raised herself onto her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his instead.

Eric savored the moment – the feeling of her soft pouchy pillows pressing onto his – and his hands cradled her face. A warm fuzzy feeling rumbled in his stomach as her mouth opened up for him and he let himself plunge into the warm and tantalizing cavern. The kiss was nothing like the ones they'd shared before. Although similarly intense and all-consuming, this feeling felt nothing like the fireworks or shocks of electricity he was used to. This was different. Before, kissing her had made him feel like he stood on fire. She was his flame and touching her ignited him too.

Now however, it was different. He felt on fire, alright. He felt like he was ready to combust into thin air any second now, but unlike other times he felt like the fire came from within. He stood on fire and she was his lifeline. Letting her go, allowing her to escape his touch for even one tiny second would surely be his death. He was quivering and shaking and he was sure his legs were about to give out on him any second now.

So did hers, it seemed.

She stepped closer to him – in between his legs – and steadied herself by way of leaning onto him. There was no need to look. Eric could feel her shake and tremble against him, her body a perfect fit to his. Slowly, he let go of her face and trailed his hands down – her neck, her shoulders, the swell of her breast – until he reached her hips and holding onto them for dear life.

His fingers fought their way between , reveling in the touch of her skin there. She moaned as he yanked her forward, rubbing their pelvises together in the most delicious way and she instantly replied by deepening their kiss, her hands flying up into his hair.

There was no time to come up for air. Only the need to stay close. Mouths attached until infinity. Her leaning turned to a crawling and Eric could feel every inch of her – every curve, every muscle – as she moved rhythmically against him. Growling as he felt her nipples harden through her clothes, his hands were quick to help her out of her vest and T-shirt.

"No bra today?" He smirked cockily at her, running his thumbs over the hardened peaks, making her hiss.

She answered him by way of lashing her lips against his neck, leaving a hot path of kisses that made him grunt. Lifting her up and away from him for a tiny second - which made her pout - he turned around to shove all the files off his desk. The papers flying everywhere had Keena gawking at him until he distracted her by way of lifting her up again and putting her on the surface instead. She meowed and purred like the jinx she was and pouted as he climbed on top of her. Refusing to kiss her for a bit.

She struggled to get closer to him, nails scratching his back as she moved the fabric upwards, indicating she wanted it off.

He refused.

"Go on a date with me." He breathed, leaning over her – on top of her – but not quite touching.

It was a tease. A promise. An eye for an eye, so to speak.

"What?" She asked with big eyes, momentarily forgetting her attempts to kiss him. "What did you just say?" Panic started slipping into her lustful eyes.

"Go on a date with me." Eric repeated slowly, his eyes hot on hers, willing the green to turn black again. "A real one. In public. A restaurant perhaps."

Keena frowned. "Eric..." She started, and he didn't like the tone of her voice – whiny – as if he should know better than to propose such a ridiculous thing. Except he wasn't the one being ridiculous. She was.

"I warned you I wouldn't back off anymore." He rumbled dangerously, his eyes unrelenting in letting hers go.

She didn't get to backtrack now. He had warned her and she had kissed him. If she didn't want to be seen with him in public... If his reputation was too much for her, she should've realized that before! Hypnotized by his gaze, her hands came out to pull at his shoulders, willing him to lower his body onto hers. He didn't give in.

"And I told you I don't want you to." Her words were music to his ears, but the tension was still there.

"But you will not date me either." A slow humorless smile crept on his face. "Need to butter up your friends first, hm? Afraid of what they might say?"

She narrowed her eyes at his playfulness, sensing that there was an actual insecurity underneath the surface. "I would love shocking them like that." She smiled briefly before turning serious again. A frown on her face. "But... I was just hoping that perhaps we could... you know, wait a little with making it public knowledge yet. Just for another three or four weeks?" She bit her lip, trying to anticipate his response.

He regarded her for a second. A combination of guilt and hope on her face. To his relief, he realized she wasn't trying to backtrack. She really did just want to keep this private a little while longer... But why? What would be different in three or four weeks...

"You want to settle in at work first." He stated and his lips twitched up as he saw the surprise on her face for guessing it heads on.

"Yes." She admitted quietly, nodding her head slowly up and down. A shy look on her face. "I just want to present myself as Keena for a few weeks before turning into 'the girlfriend of', you know?" She explained nervously. "I want to date you, Eric. I really do. And I'm glad you asked... but, just – you know – Maybe we could just wait a little bit longer? I want people to be nice to me because they like me. Not because I'm the girlfriend of the faction's most notorious leader. Because they're afraid I might say something to you or because they want to get to you through me." Here she grinned a little and poked his shoulder that was still hovering somewhere above hers.

God, she was beautiful like this. Lips freshly kissed and swollen. Hair cascaded in a halo, draped over his dark desk. Chest heaving. Eyes fixed onto his own.

She was nothing he'd imagined he would fall for. If someone had asked him to describe his type one year ago, he would've been more likely to describe something completely opposite to her. Someone tall, dark-haired and obedient but though. Someone completely Dauntless. And yet... it didn't appeal to him now. On paper, Keena was too small. Too blonde. Too sweet. On the one hand she had a too ballsy and defiant attitude, and on the other hand she was too gentle, too adorable.

She didn't even realize how cute she was. That's what made it acceptable. She didn't know she was biting her lip and frowning in the most adorable way when she was reading. She didn't realize how her blushing or stammering turned him on. She wasn't aware of her humming or the way she played with her hair when she was particularly bored.

And she didn't do it because she wanted attention. She didn't do it because she was taught some silly little tricks of how to capture the attention of men. No, she did it because it came to her natural. Because she was raised in Amity, surrounded by kind people that all displayed sweeter and more feminine demeanors than the women here in Dauntless. She did it because it was wired into her brain, whether she wanted to or not. She did it just because.

And a year ago, Eric would've hated her for it. A few months ago he'd would've simply hated this side of her. But now... Now, he wouldn't change any of it. Not even for the word. She was perfect. The perfect combination between tough and sweet. Fierce and admissible. Sexy and sweet. She was neither Ginger nor Mary-Ann. She was both. She was different. And she was rare.

And it was about time he started treating her like such...

Well, that was [part 1]. Hope you enjoyed!
Make sure to review when you find the time!