Chapter thirty-six: The man with the child in his eyes

The days and night melted into each other. Kate was so exhausted that she felt as if she were back in the war. The war had upset her, but it had been easier for her because she didn't know any of her patients. This patient was her husband, so it was very personal for her. Her doctor had immediately driven down to check on Thomas. He knew instantly what the opium had been tainted with and assured her that Thomas was out of harm's way. However, his recovery would not be an easy one.

She was grateful to have Polly and Arthur's support. Ada had taken Charlie and Ruby in. Jodie had gotten them together and made sure they got to Ada's home safely. Ada approved of getting him off the opium and called daily for checks on his status. Kate hadn't been able to get much rest during this time.

Thomas had drifted in and out during his fevers. His body was ravaged by severe chills and profuse sweating. Keeping him dry had been hard; Arthur and Elton had to help change his clothes frequently as he sweated through them. The nights, however, were the worst for him. His body convulsed as he shouted orders to soldiers who weren't there. He called out for Grace and told her ghost to leave him alone. He screamed that he was being attacked and people were coming through the walls. After two nights, Kate finally figured out that having him face a blank wall, reminded him of being in a tunnel, so she had them spin his bed around for him to face the outside. It hadn't helped much, but at least he didn't sound as if he was having his insides ripped out.

Polly helped her during the day and Arthur took the night shift. It had been so hard. He cursed her, shouted at her, spit on her and he actually attacked her a few times. Her wrists were both purple from where he'd gripped her tightly. One time, he'd managed to break his restraints and hit her in the face. Elton helped her tie him down again while Polly took a minute to compose herself. It had been hard for Polly, but Kate was glad that they'd mended their fences because she needed an ally.

This morning, he'd been peaceful; he drifted into a deep sleep. She'd checked his eye activity to be certain he hadn't slipped into a coma. Fortunately, he hadn't, but he'd exhausted his body and now, he was finally allowing his body to heel. Kate let out a yawn as she kept her hand atop of his as she continued to read 'Tender is the night' by F. Scott Fitzgerald aloud to him.

"He used to think that he wanted to be good," Thomas opens his eyes at the sound of Kate's voice. She sounds a little croaky and far away. "he wanted to be kind, he wanted to be brave and wise, but it was all pretty difficult." He turns his head towards her. She has her head down, a blanket over her lap and a hand atop of his. "He wanted to be loved too, if he could fit it in."

He turns his hand to take hers. She drops her book and turns towards him. "Kate?"

"Shh," she says gently as she sits on the edge of the bed. "I'm here." She places a hand on his forehead. She smiles. "Thank God, the fever broke."

"Fever?" he frowns. "I had a fever?"

She nods as she reaches for a thermometer. "That and a few other things. Open your mouth." He does as she orders without any complaint. "Thank God. You're back to yourself."

"I should hope."

She holds up a finger. "Don't talk with the thermometer in your mouth." He smirks at her, causing her to rolls her eyes. "Don't look at me like that."

She takes the thermometer from his mouth and holds it up to the light. "Why? It turn you on?" she sighs as she writes down his temperature in this little red notebook she has. "You look tired. Did you stay with me all night?"

She bites her lip as she closes the notebook. "Thomas…you've been sick for almost a week now."

He frowns. "A week?"

"Don't you remember?"

He's silent for a moment. "You destroyed my opium pipe. It's…a bit hazy after that."

"Your opium was tainted with finely ground silicon dioxide." He stares at her as she sinks down onto the edge of the bed. "Which is normally harmless, until it's ingested. It doesn't dissolve in the body and absorbs liquid." Kate coughs. "So, it's been building up inside your stomach for a few days. The doctor stopped by and said we caught it just in time. You caught influenza, which probably saved your life. Had it gone undetected, it could have burst your esophagus. Your lungs were miraculously clear, so I don't think you smoked the tainted batch."

"I stopped smoking it," he said slowly, her words hitting him like a hammer. "because, Polly says the smell disturbs her." he looks up at her. "You saved my life, again." He reaches up to touch her, but realizes he's restrained. "Why am I tied down?"

"There was a family vote that you were going to be taken off the opium while getting over the flu." She undoes a belt. "You were very aggressive."

"Did I hurt you?" she bites her lip and hesitates. He exhales. "Now I know I did something. What did I do Kate?"

"It was a chemical reaction and I don't blame you. Really."

"What, did I do?" he sat up and reached for her hand. She inhaled sharply and he looked down, noticing a big, purple bruise on her wrist. "Did I do that?" She nods as she turns towards him, another bruise on her cheek. "And I did that too? Kate, I swore, I'd never raise a hand-

"And you didn't." she said gently. "You were sick. You had a fever, you were delirious, you didn't know what you were doing." She sneezes and reaches for her handkerchief. "I don't blame you.

"God, Kate. I-I didn't know."

She nods. "I know, I forgive you. It was the drugs."

"How can you forgive me?" he asks. "I hurt you."

"You're my husband." She stated as he gently ran his hands up to her shoulders. He sees she's a little hesitant to allow his touch, so he stops at her forearms. "I'd do anything for you."

"I don't know if I can kick it Kate."

"If you want to, you can do it. If you can last a month…you'll be good Thomas." she exhales. "I should confess that I cleared out your opium supply. All 7 tonnes."

He jolts in surprise. "How the hell did you know where it was?"

"Ada told me you'd purchased that much and Arthur helped me find it." She grips his hand firmly. "My father was fit to be tied and took the whole stash. He sold it and gave the money to Polly, to transfer to your account. She put it in my name instead."

"Hmm, damned if I'll thank him for that."

"He then went a step further and informed Chang that you were out of the business." Thomas scowled at her and she scowled back. "No one, is going to sell you anything. You'll have to find contacts out of England. Moreover, my father said to tell you that before you do that, that you two made a pledge in his library, to keep me happy?" Thomas nods, remembering he'd promise to keep Kate happy and make sure she had everything she ever wanted. " He expects you to hold that."

He hesitates. He's not sure if he's ready to commit to this. But then again, she wore bruises on her, testifying that his opium use had gotten out of control. "I may fail Kate."

"If you chose to stick to it, Arthur will be giving up cocaine. I had the staff take your room and the library apart. I found everything you'd hidden, even the ones under the floorboards. Your addiction almost killed you Thomas." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair as she places her hand on his heart. "I'm a nurse, remember? I'm going to bring healing back into your life Thomas."

He closes his eyes, knowing that he's standing on a precipice. "Are you sure you want to go in this far with me Kate?"

"Yes. I'm not a fool Thomas, I know you have a dark side, but who doesn't? Everyone worries about you, especially Ada. She told me about you stepping out on the bridge and seeing Grace. I know, you won't see a doctor, but that's all right. The visions will be gone not that you've stopped taking the opium. As to the nightmares, you're a strong man Thomas Shelby."

He exhales deeply. "If you're willing to go in that far…yes, I'll stop the opium." He leans forward and kisses her lightly. She breaks the kiss abruptly to turn her head as she sneezes. "Are you sick?" he frowns.

Kate nods. "Yes, I got a mild case of influenza." She touches her forehead. "I've got a slight fever. It may get worse tonight."

"Come here."

She shakes her head. "No, I'll just curl up in the chair."

"Get in here." He pulls her into the bed with him, tucking the covers around her. "I've already had it, so, I can't catch it again. Close your eyes and sleep. I've got you." He smiled at her, rubbing her arms for a moment. He feels the tension leave her body with an exhale. "We're getting there, aren't we?"

"Yes, I think we are." She yawns. "Once you're better, I'll be moving into your room with you."

He looks down at her, not sure how to interpret her statement. "To keep an eye on me?"

"No. because I want to be there with you." he sits up slightly. "I'm not quite ready for sex yet, but," she yawns through closed eyes. "I'm close."

"I'm gonna need you Kate." He declares as he runs a hand through her hair, pulling it free of the few pins holding it together.

"I'll be here." Her voice drops as she starts to fall sleep. "I promise, I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens."

Her soft breathing informs him that she's asleep. He leans down and kisses her on the mouth. "And I promise you…I'll quit it Kate. I promise." As he settled down in the covers, a snort caused him to look around his room. There was Arthur, asleep on the couch. Thomas grabs Kate's book and throws it at Arthur, who bolts upright instantly. "Out." he orders as he points to the door. "Now."

Arthur's face lights with relief up as he heads towards the bed. "You're awake!"

"Yes, now, get out."

"In a moment. It's been Hell for a week." He heads to the side of his bed. "Kate must have let you loose."

"Obviously. Now, since my wife has willingly crawled into bed with me for the first time, do you mind going to your bed now?"

Arthur chuckles uneasily. "No." he grips Thomas's hand and gives it a firm shake. "It's just…such a relief to see you looking better."

"Thanks Arthur."

"Kate needs to sleep, I don't think she's slept since you got sick."

"Did I hurt her?" he asks quietly. "Is there anything I did to her that she won't tell me?"

"Well, you hit her a few times, said really nasty things to her and you spit on her several times. She never gave up, held your hand the entire time." He looks at the exhausted woman draped across him, still holding onto him. "You married a good one."

He nods in agreement. "From what she told me…I think she's got one lined up for you."

Arthur shakes his head. "No, I'm not marrying again."

"You know Kate; she always gets her way in the end."

Idcam: My brother invited a friend of his over, a retired police officer. So, he mentioned a case he worked where a brother tried to kill his brother using silicon dioxide. After doing research, it was the perfect 'poison'.

Angel029: He needed a nurse in his life, luckily he married one!