ch. x: memento

Light - it spilled in through the treetops. From behind her eyelids, May saw the shifting leaves, the fluttering of wings and clouds. The bark beneath her was rough, the air above her soft. A kind, rosy breeze brushed over her skin.

The magnitude of Littleroot's quietude was immense, as if the void took on thickness. In the density of the quiet, May could drown out her thoughts with the space, the stillness. She could feel her lungs expand again. May let out a quiet breath and opened her eyes to the green canopies, the endless sky. She wondered if she could fall into it.

Nearly three months had passed since her victory atop the mountain. Away from the cameras and the noise, May had retreated back to her mother's home, back to where she started her journey at the beginning, hoping to find some semblance of reason through all of the chaos. Between the quiet murmuring houses and the whispering trees, May rediscovered the voice within her that had called for the road.

As the weeks passed and the limelight faded, May was able to reacquaint herself with the parts of the League that truly mattered - the pokemon and the people. She visited every Gym and its Leader, studied the legacies of those who came before her. She developed ideas for what type of Champion she wished to be, what she wished to promote with her new position of power. Now that the most imminent threats to Hoenn had been assuaged, there was joy again to be found in her daily life, though perhaps with greater weight than her days as a faceless Trainer in the wilderness. Her title could be put to good use. Her name held sway. She had finally found the bonds she had sought and joined in the shared mission of the Hoenn Pokemon League.

And yet the man who came before her was nowhere to be found.

Since that bright day at the top of Evergrande City, May had neither seen nor heard from Steven Stone, and she could only assume that the connections she shared with the likes of Flannery and Sid did not reach her predecessor. Despite all that had brought them together in the past, May considered the fragility of the strings that had tied him to her, how easily those strings had been cut. The web of connections she had so happily sewn did not reach him, and though she knew it should not matter, the whole thing felt as if it could unravel just by pulling the single frayed end that he left.

May stared up at the sky, her legs dangling off the sides of the branch. She imagined the way his hair whipped in the wind, the gust of air from Skarmory's wings as they took off for the horizon. She stared and tried to picture him appearing in the distance, moving closer and closer, and then realized that she could not. After all, every instance she'd seen of him in the sky had been of his back, of the two of them flying off for somewhere without her, somewhere she would never reach.

A vibration jolted at her leg, and a gasp tore through her lungs. May scrambled upward, nearly falling from the tree as her phone buzzed in her shorts pocket. Frantically, she groped for her phone, not even bothering to see who had called before answering.

"Hello?" she garbled. Her voice echoed unpleasantly through the quiet woods.

"May? This is Wallace," came the voice. May bolted up straight. A few taillows chirped and scattered at the suddenness of her movements, and she winced apologetically.

"Wallace? Yes! Hi. What's up?" she asked quickly.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at home. Littleroot, I mean."

"Littleroot?" May frowned at the murmured question.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

For a moment, there was a pause. She felt the stillness of the forest again. A gentle breeze grazed over her shoulders. Her breath was quiet.

"Steven is not with you?" he finally asked.

May's ears rang. Something in her went silent and yet deafening at once. She took a breath.

"No, why?"

Wallace went silent again.

"We can't find him," he said finally. Her head spun.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been trying to get a hold of him for days, but no one can reach him. I'd thought maybe…" He trailed off for a moment, and the pause held more weight than his words. "You really haven't seen him?"

"Why would I?" she said. "Isn't it his M.O. to take off whenever he wants?" Her tone was more sour than she'd intended. Wallace seemed to ignore it.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Months ago. Who knows?"

"Can you go to his house in Mossdeep?"

"Seriously?" she scoffed. It was a ludicrous question.

"Please, May."

"Why should I? Can't Tate or Liza go instead?"

"They refuse. They say it's an invasion of his privacy."

"Wouldn't that still apply to me going?"

"You are the only one I can think of who's actually been there."

May's retort died on her lips. She stared at the stitching on her duvet, something familiar to hold onto in this alien situation.

"You've never been there?" she finally asked.

"No." May wondered if she'd slipped and hit her head, for she could barely understand the simple word. "May, please. I'm concerned."

She waited a breath. "Okay." She clenched her fist in her sheets. "It'll take me till evening to get there though."

"That's fine. Thank you."

The forest was silent again as the line on the other end clicked. May stared dumbly at her phone for another minute, marveling at what she had just agreed to do. Mossdeep was a far flight from Littleroot. She would have to fly with both Tsuki and Latias to get there safely.

She let out a great sigh. Somehow even as Champion of the country's League, she was being yanked around Hoenn by one man or another. Even after sliding her phone back into her pocket, she stared at the hard bark underneath her and wondered why nothing felt any different from before. She still seemed as insignificant with her title as she had without it. At the very least, her feelings were.

First, she scanned through her phone's contacts, thumb hovering over his name as it had done numerous times before. The last time she'd called him, it had been from Mossdeep. Now, she hoped he was there again. She exhaled and pressed his name. The phone rang until she was greeted by his voicemail once again. She realized then that he had never once answered her calls. All she was worth was a pre-recorded message.

The flight was as long as she'd dreaded, though blessedly uneventful. There were no storms and only white clouds above Hoenn as she and her pokemon flew over sea and forest. Cool spring turned to summer as the waters turned bluer. In the distance, they could see the massive walls of Sootopolis and the tiny islands that dotted the space between.

One of those anonymous specks had nearly been her grave. May stared out into the ocean and wondered how such despair could leave no physical trace. Kyogre's last labored breaths had been taken somewhere down there, and yet no one would ever know.

The sun was low when their feet finally hit the ground. The shadows of the little houses along the hot streets cast long black shadows. May's own shadow was thin and lonely in the flat landscape. As she stepped up to the strange house she knew to be Steven's, her shadow plastered itself to the door, unable to open it on its own.

For a moment, she was unable to move forward. On the other side of this door, he could be in his house, unaware that the world was expecting him. Her journey here could have been for nothing. If he answered the door, what would she do? Would she simply turn back and go home? Would he invite her in or close the door in her face? He'd essentially fled from her in Ever Grande. She refused to chase after him now.

And yet she was here, just as she always had been. Even when he didn't call, she was there. Her lungs quivered with shame as she lifted her hand.

She knocked. "Hello?" Her knuckles knocked again. Carefully, she reached for the handle, and as it had on the first day she'd been here, the door was unlocked and swung open without protest. The cool darkness inside swallowed the orange Mossdeep sun.

The house was empty. The furniture looked as untouched as it had the single afternoon she had been there nearly a year ago. As the door closed behind her, she recalled the enormity of those few days, the ignorance and foolishness of her bravery. Crystalline nightmares and glistening teeth marked her dreams like the stones that glinted in this very room. She had thrown herself into something bigger than herself and emerged with sheer luck, and even now, she wondered if she had dreamt up the entire adventure down to the bottom of the sea.

But the house was empty, as it had been then. Something cold trickled slowly down her spine as she looked around at the still, glistening stones. Had she truly expected to find him here? Annoyance spread across her mouth as the results met her low expectations. Her eyes scanned over the bed, the cases, the chair, the table-

A single pokeball sat in the center of the table. Beside it lay a white envelope, and all of her frustration washed away with a chill. May's feet took stuttering, slow steps inward. On the envelope in neat writing was written the name "May."

Before even opening the letter, she had known with a quiet breath what it would say. She didn't cry, but she let herself slide to the floor with the letter he had written gripped tightly in her hands. Her heart ached with the pathetic knowledge that it was the only time she had ever seen her name written by his hand, the last time. Her eyes traced over the lines until she no longer comprehended that they were words, and as she stepped out from his dark house with the new pokemon at her side, she ensured that the door was closed and locked securely behind her, for she knew it was the last time she would ever return.

The wind was strong out to sea. Even through his closed eyelids, Steven felt the hot sun glinting off the water. The rush of the wind was nearly deafening as it hit his chest. He had pulled the tail of his shirt from his trousers to allow the wind to whip through his clothes, his hair. It almost felt as free as the breeze from his skarmory's back.

Not even thirty minutes had passed since their ship had left the docks of Slateport, but the anxiety that had held Steven's shoulders had already slipped away. The sun was as strong as the day he'd left home on his first journey as a young man. He'd been only 16 then, naive and arrogant. He smiled softly as he remembered his bruised arms and legs; she had looked the same that first time in Granite Cave.

In his pocket, he fingered a smooth stone. He could barely remember a time now when he didn't have it with him. Pulling it out, he held the stone to the sky, letting it shatter the light into a wave of red. He thought of dark caves and warm breath upon his neck. Closing his eyes, he felt the sun on his face like the light of her warmest expressions - the ones she had saved only for him.

He felt a tug at his jacket and looked to his side to see his skarmory staring at him. He smiled and reached with his other hand to stroke the bird on its still-bruised face, slipping the stone back into his pocket.

"I'm okay," he said. The bird nudged his hand. "It's the right thing to do. If she doesn't understand now, she will someday."

The skarmory gave him a severe look. Steven sighed quietly.

"I'm not ready. You know I'm not," he whispered.

The skarmory snorted softly and leaned into Steven's hand. He smiled at the familiar smoothness of his companion's face. There were no questions between them. Doubt in his heart was reserved for only one person.

Behind them, the pier of Slateport disappeared slowly, as did everything he'd ever known. Ahead, there was nothing but an expanse of ocean and sky. Even the wingulls and pelippers dotting the sky were growing sparse. Soon, the city of Courmarine would appear in the distance with the country of Kalos at his fingertips. The same drum of his heart that he'd felt stepping out of Rustboro so many years ago beat again in his chest. This was the right decision.

Steven did not look back or to the horizon ahead, but instead he set his gaze up towards the sky. It was almost cartoonishly blue. He thought of warm islands and strange dragons, the pressure of a slender back against his chest. The perfume of her hair and the salty wind still lingered.

He wouldn't return for several years, but when he did, he told himself he would have the courage to tell her how much he cared. He would be a good enough man to love her, strong enough. He hoped that when the time came, he could convince her to save those smiles for him once more.