Not really sure where I was going with this one? Sorry it's been a while - I'm writing a HUGE Wolfstar AU, and I'm on 40,000 words at the moment!

PLEASE READ: I'm not getting many reviews lately. I hate to moan but 200 people have read chapter 34 and I don't have a single review. Not even one! That's just disappointing. 200! At least one of you could bother to give me some feedback?

On a better note, I hope you all enjoy and have a lovely Christmas/Hanukkah/etc., or lovely winter if you don't celebrate.

A CAREER FOR A WEREWOLF

"Remus," McGonagall said, and her voice was a sigh. "I'm glad you could find the time today, though you are ten minutes late." A raised eyebrow. A knowing frown. "What happened last week?"

He shrugged.

"Did you … not want to come? Not feel the need to come?"

"Forgot," he said sharply.

"You forgot." The suspicion in her eyes melted into disappointment.

"Yes."

"Tardiness or forgetfulness has never been a problem for you."

He shrugged again, shuffled his feet.

"I think you're scared, Lupin. Look at me! I think you're scared. Hmm?"

He let his amber eyes catch hers for a moment before flitting away, breathing out once.

"I am a Gryffindor, Professor. Why would I be afraid of a careers meeting?"

She frowned and sighed again, shuffling a pile of papers uneasily. "Remus, tell me what happened last week when we were meant to have this meeting."

.

Breathe.

In, out. In, out. In, out. He breathed, and every breath only stoked the fire.

The fire. Hot, burning up his neck, reaching towards his face. Sweat sloughed off his forehead.

Breathe.

He was burning. He was a furnace. He was dropping towards the deepest pits of Hell.

Breathe.

Head in hands, just sitting on the edge of his bed, alone in the dormitory. Red curtains around him, red bedspread beneath him, red carpets. Fire. His mind was aflame.

Breathe.

If he looked into a crystal ball, he was sure he'd see nothing but darkness. Just a blank hunk of crystal, smoke swirling at the edges. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing but a bleak wasteland. For what life could a werewolf have?

Hogwarts was safe, for now at least. No-one knew. No-one needed to know. He could learn and sit exams and pretend it was all for something. Pretend his perfect grades would earn him a job, and the job would earn him money, and the money earn him a life worth living.

Never.

Breathe.

McGonagall, he supposed, would be waiting. Quill a-tapping on her wooden desk, foot a-swinging below it. That little crease between her brows as she peered at the clock, waiting for the usually organised Remus Lupin to arrive at his first careers meeting.

Career. He scoffed.

Breathe.

There was nothing for him in the depths of the crystal ball. He could see that without possession of the Inner Eye. McGonagall could wait as she liked. He would sit and brood.

So he sat, and let the flames devour him.

.

"Mr Lupin?"

He looked up. "I was busy. Must've slipped my mind."

"And you couldn't find me when you realised? Rescheduled the meeting?"

"Sorry. I forgot."

She looked at him, and the clock ticked on the wall to his left, and a portrait on the wall watched with judgemental eyes. "Lupin, I know you. You do not forget. And you are never late."

.

Twas the night before the Full Moon and Remus stretched, raising his arms above his head and feeling the stiff muscles pop in his back. He staggered down the dormitory steps, a flickering pain behind his aching eyes and the old wound on his shoulder giving him hell.

The pull of the moon begged him to go back to the dormitory, to sleep.

"Where're you goin', Remus?" Asked someone by the fire. He can see a slight figure silhouetted against the flames but can't recognise them through the haze that coated his vision.

"Detention," he croaked.

"You look bloody awful."

"Thanks," he spat and limped out of the portrait hole.

He had to practically drag himself down the three corridors to reach Professor McGonagall's office. His legs shook, the muscles in his back were tight, and the headache flared in his temples.

He knocked twice on her door.

"Just in time, Lupin," she answered, and he pushed the door open, lingering for a moment on the threshold before walking in with steps as measured as he could manage. He collapsed in the chair opposite hers with a sigh of relief.

"You look dead on your feet."

"I'm fine, Professor. Just tired."

She raised an eyebrow, as was customary. "Just tired."

"Yes."

"The Full Moon is tomorrow. I shouldn't have issued you a detention today, Remus. You knew." Her eyes pierced into him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought you'd still want me to come."

"Well, off you go, Lupin. Next time, tell me, alright."

He nodded weakly.

"Hop along to the Hospital Wing then. Come back this time next week when you're healed and you can help me with some essay marking."

"Alright, Professor. I won't be late."

"I know."

.

"Remus, I know what you're thinking. You do have a future and don't you dare say anything otherwise."

He opened his mouth to complain. "Professor-"

"Shut up, Lupin! I don't want your excuses!" She leaned across the desk. "It will be hard. You are clever, you are brave and kind, but you are a werewolf. We can't hide it or stop it or change people's opinions."

"That's exactly why-"

"Shush! Just listen."

He shut his mouth.

"You are going to start looking for jobs now. Ask everywhere. I know some people you can talk to who might help out. Don't you dare give up, Lupin. I've been working hard to find contacts for you since you joined in first year. Don't waste that."

.

Three months later, Remus trudged up to her office again.

"Professor?" He called out when he knocked.

"Come in, Lupin."

He sat.

"I have a proposition for you."

The room, apart from the ever-ticking clock in the corner, was silent. Even the portraits had stopped talking to watch. Remus shifted in his seat, looking warily at the eyes following him from every wall.

"Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?"

I think I just wanted to write about McGonagall.

As ever, tell me what you think (I'm talking to you, the 200 readers who haven't reviewed).