Savage

by awalkerlifeforme

She was everything people feared. She wanted to defend the world but also wanted revenge on those who wrecked hers. The ones who forced her to leave Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Now she's back and while Steve attempts to get back the woman he's always considered his sister, Bucky hopes to thaw the ice that has formed around her heart. A heart that he had always believed was his.

47. Chapter 45

When I woke up the next morning, I had a brief moment of happiness when I felt the body next to mine. Maybe what had happened on the train had just been a terrible nightmare. The same one I'd had so many times over the last few months. But when I opened my eyes, my heart deflated and my eyes darkened from yellow to a deep blue. I looked upward and was met with Steve's body instead of Bucky. Of course. Bucky had been killed. My breath rattled as I pressed my head into Steve's shoulder pathetically.

At my movement, I felt Steve's body jolt against mine. I had startled him. I stared at him as his eyes slowly opened. We didn't speak as we met eyes. We didn't need to. There was nothing to say to each other, but Steve did reach his arm over my shoulder, much in the way Bucky's used to. It was protective. Steve's grip tightened against me and I buried my head against his chest as he took the blanket and threw it over us. I could hear the clock ticking away the minutes until we left to destroy the last Hydra base.

It took me a few minutes to realize that Steve's hand was gently running patterns against my back. His fingertips were gentle and trembling as they ran over my spine. Bucky's death had hurt everyone at the base but it hadn't hurt anyone the way it had hurt Steve and I. We were the ones who had genuinely loved him. But it was my life that had been changed forever. One day Steve would move on and find someone to love. He would be with Peggy. He would get to have his own life. I would always be stuck like this. My only chance for normalcy was gone forever.

My head was scattered to all hell so I had no idea how long we remained in the bed. I knew that the others would be ready to go to the Hydra base soon. I was ready to destroy them for good, I just didn't know what was going to come next. I felt Steve's hand run up to my white hair and gently brush the tangled strands back over my forehead comfortingly, just as Bucky had done so many times before. Steve's spare hand reached down to my hip to gently push me so that we were looking at each other in the eye.

He took a few deep breaths before speaking. "The day before Bucky deployed for England we had a while to talk while you were in the bathroom. He asked me to take care of you, no matter what happened to him. He just wanted to make sure someone could protect you."

My hands trembled against his chest. "As you've already seen, I can protect myself."

Steve smiled weakly. "I know. The thing is, you don't have to. I'm with you -"

"' Til the end of the line," I finished quietly.

The building tear slipped out of my eyes as I nodded at him. "You're not alone, Vic. I promised Bucky that whenever he wasn't around, I would take care of you. I know you don't need or want it, but I'm here for you. I'm not leaving," Steve promised.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Steve nodded as we crawled back up in the smashed bed toward the pillows. Steve pulled me up against his chest as I breathed deeply into his shirt. I didn't have the slightest semblance of happiness, but I did finally feel like I wasn't alone. He was hurting too. He had lost Bucky, just as I had. For now, that was the connection I needed. Steve pressed a kiss against my forehead as the clocks continued to tick away the minutes. It wasn't until there was a gentle knock at the door that we moved again, knowing that it was time to go.

Steve was the first to lean up against the pillows. "I should get ready," he said.

I nodded. "Okay."

We stared at each other, all of the unspoken words on our tongues. We were sorry, heartbroken, and had no idea how to move forward. We said nothing as Steve rose to his feet and brushed his hair back over his head. He couldn't check himself in the mirror as I had smashed them all. Steve was careful walking back toward the door as there was broken glass all over the floor. He crossed to the door but hesitated before turning the knob to leave. I glanced up and watched him curiously as he turned back to meet my eyes.

"I'm going to kill him," Steve said.

Meaning that he would kill Schmidt. I nodded at him. "Make it slow."

That was the only condolence I would have. Bucky's death was quick. Schmidt's couldn't be. Steve nodded understandingly at me as he slowly opened the door and walked out. He turned back to me one last time to give me a little nod before leaving and closing the door behind himself. Any slight feeling of hope I'd had immediately deflated as that horrible feeling of loneliness hit me again. I sat at the edge of the bed for a long time, staring at the wall on the other end of the room. It was just past eleven in the morning. I could hear the others saying we would be leaving the base at noon.

Eventually, with barely ten minutes to spare, I forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom to get ready for the attack. I paid no attention to where I was walking. I felt the pieces of broken glass slicing into my feet, leaving trails of the Chronicle in my wake. I wandered into the bathroom and took the only uniform that I had left that hadn't been destroyed yet. I slipped into it, dropped the torn-up, bloodied and dirtied uniform I had been in for the last two days to the ground carelessly.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I ran my hairbrush through my tangled strands as I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked similar to the way I had looked when I'd been held captive in Stryker's lab. My normally tanned skin had lost most of its color and had taken on an almost grayish tinge. I looked sick. The red veins were glowing underneath my skin. The veins that surrounded my eyes were still black and my eyes continued to retain their red appearance. I looked nothing like the confident and beautiful woman who had walked into Howard's gala.

There was a gentle knock on the door frame and I glanced up to see Peggy standing in the opening. "Hi. Can I come in?" she asked.

It was likely that she would come in anyway. We stared at each other for a few beats before I nodded. Peggy walked into the room, shutting the door behind her, and smiled at the two rings sitting on the bedside table. She very carefully avoided treading on the glass as she walked into the room. I walked out of the bathroom and over to the bed, leaning back against the cracked wooden frame. Peggy picked up the wedding rings and I stiffened for a moment before relaxing. It was just Peggy. She wouldn't do anything with them.

"I remember when I broke off my engagement. It was so strange to walk around without my ring," Peggy said. I stared at her as her face reddened slightly. "I know that these are two such different situations, but I'm sure you feel the same. No one expects you to take your ring off anytime soon, but if you want a different place to keep them together…" She trailed off as she dug down into her pocket and pulled out a thin golden chain. "My mother gave it to me when I was young. I think you should have it."

The golden chain was simple but lovely. It looked like something Peggy would have worn. She tended to wear plain jewelry like the gold chain. I knew it was expensive just by looking at it. I was surprised she was offering it to me. I stared at the chain for a while before finally taking it with the two wedding rings. Peggy watched as I looped the rings through the gold chain. I held them up for a moment before clasping the necklace at the nape of my neck and let it drop. They weighed heavily against me as I tucked them underneath the uniform.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

It felt just the tiniest bit better to have some part of him - even a tiny one - with me. "It's not much, I know, but anything I can do to help," Peggy said. I nodded silently. "I want to be able to tell you something that will make you feel better, but I'm afraid nothing will. What could anyone say to you that would make this better?"

"Nothing," I answered. "At least you're honest. You're the first person who has been."

Everyone else tried to tell me that things were going to get better. At least Peggy was willing to tell me the truth. "Lying to you now would do you no service," Peggy said. I nodded slowly. She was right. I was sick of people telling me that I would be happy again. I didn't want to think about being happy without him. "But what I can tell you is that even if you don't believe me, you won't always be left feeling this way. One day the pain and hurt and anger will fade and you'll be left with only love when you think of him. That day might not be for a long time, but it will come."

"Right now it doesn't feel like I'll ever smile again," I said tonelessly.

"I felt that way after my brother died."

"When did it get better?"

Peggy was quiet, thinking about it for a few moments. "I was devastated for weeks," she admitted. Weeks seemed like such a short time. It seemed like I would need a lifetime. "Things only got better when I finally woke up one day and realized he wouldn't have wanted me to waste my life mourning him. He believed I was made for more. I'm trying to live my life the way he would have wanted me to."

It was a nice sentiment but it wasn't one I thought I could replicate. "You only have so long to do something with your life. I'll be on this planet for the rest of eternity," I said, my voice losing any strength it'd had. Was this what the rest of my never-ending life would be like? It seemed that way. "This is what it will always be like. If I fall in love with someone, it'll always end this way. They'll die and I'll be left alone all over again."

A lump had formed in the back of my throat. Loving someone wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth this feeling. "You can't think of it like that," Peggy said desperately. "None of us want you to be alone and you're not. You have us. Please don't forget about that."

"One day you'll be gone too."

"By then you'll have found others to love too."

"Are you so sure about that?" I asked. Peggy looked hurt at my insistence. I knew she didn't like the idea of me being alone in my life. "No one wants me near them. You were the only ones who were ever there for me and I've already started pushing you away."

Peggy reached out and took my hands. "You've pushed no one away. Love, we want you back," she said, running the pad of her thumb over the back of my hand. "We all know you're hurting more than any of the rest of us could ever understand. We don't hate you. We just want you back."

"I'll try," I mumbled.

But Peggy had known me for years now and she knew when I wasn't being completely honest. "Let me ask you something." Her face had evened out as I nodded at her. "What are you planning on doing? Once we've destroyed this Hydra base and there's nothing left to do - no one left to kill - what does Victoria do then?" Peggy asked bluntly.

"I haven't thought that far," I said truthfully.

"Why don't you stay with me for a while?" Peggy offered. "I would love to have my roommate back."

Stay with her? I hadn't even considered that. Peggy and I looked at each other for a long time. Her face fell as she suddenly realized just how cold her comment could have sounded. It didn't matter to me, I knew she hadn't meant it the way it had sounded. She was just trying to let me know that I didn't have to be alone after his death. But I didn't want to stay here. I couldn't just go back to my normal life. I had to do something. I didn't smile but I did give Peggy a small nod, letting her know that I hadn't been insulted by her last comment.

"That's a nice offer but there are things I have to do first," I told her.

"Like?" Peggy asked curiously.

"It doesn't matter," I answered.

How could I tell her the truth of what I was going to do? I couldn't tell her. I didn't need to tell her. She already knew. "Victoria, you don't have to condemn yourself to that kind of life," Peggy said gently. I shook my head. It was the only thing I knew how to do. "I know it's hard to move on but maybe it's time to try to do just that. Do something better."

"I had something better," I growled.

"Do you think Bucky would have wanted this for you?" Peggy asked.

"I don't know. He's dead," I responded.

My voice shook and broke pathetically on the last word. I hated having to admit that he was dead. I didn't want to think about it and it was almost impossible to say it out loud. My hands began shaking as my anger began to get the best out of me again. The flames were licking at the edge of my fingers as Peggy stared at me. There wasn't a flicker of fear in her eyes. She loved me and didn't want to see me hurting. I didn't want to hurt her either. I frowned as she laid a hand on my knee and I released the flames.

"I'm sorry, Victoria," Peggy said quietly, tightening her hand over my knee gently. "I don't want to hurt you. Sweetheart, didn't he say it a million times? When he was gone, he wanted you to continue living your life. He didn't want to see you fall apart. He wanted to look down and see the woman he fell in love with so long ago."

"He knew better. He wanted me to be something better, but he knew. He knew what I would do when he was gone."

"You don't have to do that."

"No, but I'm going to."

"Why?" Peggy asked.

There was a long silence between us. Peggy didn't push me to say anything and I had no urge to respond to her question. It was because I had nothing else to do with my life. I couldn't think of anything else to do with the next few decades of my life now that he was gone. My future was gone. The only thing I could do was bring misery to those who had brought mine. I stared at Peggy for a while before shifting my gaze to the window and the gloomy gray skies outside. It was just as ugly outside as it was in my heart.

Peggy knew what the look on my face was saying. "Victoria, please don't go after those men. I know it's what you want to do and I know it's the only thing you think you can do. Darling, it's not. You are better than this."

"I'm not," I answered.

"You are," Peggy countered. "Think about what you wanted. You wanted to give up this life. You wanted to retire and go live on that beautiful piece of land where you could train and care for mutants."

"With him!" I shouted, unable to listen to her any longer. "He's gone!"

"But his desire for you to live a good life isn't," Peggy said, unwavering in her stance even with my anger rising. "You can still open that school for mutants and take care of them."

"I wanted to do that with him," I snarled. "I can't be alone for the rest of eternity -"

"You're not alone. You have me!" Peggy yelled back, looking like she was getting close to tears. "You have Howard, Chester, Steve, and all the rest of the guys."

"And one day you'll all move on. Chester's old already. He's got, what, thirty years maximum? Howard and all the guys will find some pretty girls to love. You and Steve will fall for each other. You'll all get married and have families and grow old together. I don't get that, Peggy," I told her, my chest sinking at the thought. My potential life with Bucky had been a lie. It was never going to work out the way we had wanted it to. "I never will! I never would have! I was lying to myself when I was with Bucky."

Peggy's eyes seemed to lose any sparkle they'd had before. "So, what now? You run off and... do what?"

"For now, I go to that Hydra base and slaughter everyone who stands there," I said.

"Then?"

"Kill whoever is left on my list."

"Do you think Bucky would be happy to hear that?" Peggy asked.

"Don't say his name!" I snapped.

He was gone. It was time for them to realize it. There was no point acting like he was still here and I couldn't stand hearing about him anymore. My anger had once again gotten the best of me. I sent out a blast of energy stronger than I was expecting. The window that looked to Big Ben blew out as did the track lights above the bed. Cracks formed from the concrete floors up to the acoustic ceiling tiles. Peggy was blown back from the bed against the wall from the energy blast. Her head whacked into the wall as she covered the back of her neck with her hand.

My anger dissipated immediately and was replaced with shock at what I had just done. It was the second one of my friends I had injured in less than a day. I opened my mouth to try and apologize but nothing came out. Peggy moved her hand down from her neck a moment later. She didn't look hurt though her eyes did give away her dazed state. She shook her head clear as she climbed out of the bed and stood in front of me. We stared at each other for a long time. As I thought Peggy would turn and leave, she did the exact opposite.

Her arm came up around the back of my neck to pull me off of the bed and into a hug. She spoke with my head in the crook of her neck. "You might not want the help right now or for a long time, but we're here for you. We always will be. I'm not afraid of you," Peggy whispered.

It was as weak as I had ever felt. I couldn't pretend that I was strong any longer. I was falling apart at the seams. I let out a pathetic sob as Peggy's arms tightened around my waist. I moved my face into Peggy's shoulder as she wound her hands into my knotted hair. It didn't take long for tears to begin falling down my cheeks again as I tucked my head firmly into Peggy's neck. We stood together in the middle of the room for a long time. Peggy made no indication that she was planning on letting go of me anytime soon.

Eventually, Peggy pulled me back toward the bed. She kept an arm around my shoulder as I kept my head buried in her shoulder. Her hand rested gently on the back of my head. Tears continued running down my face as I turned my head into Peggy's shirt sleeve. Peggy gently ran her hand down my spine to try and keep me as calm as possible. It took a long time for me to stop crying and even longer to look up. Peggy didn't push me to speak. She just pressed a kiss into my hair and waited for me to be able to speak.

Finally, after what felt like ages, I raised my head completely and looked Peggy in the eye. "Did I hurt you?" I asked worriedly.

"I've got a little bit of a headache, but I'll be okay," she answered. My stomach churned in knots guiltily. "Vicky, I'm not concerned with myself. I'm concerned with you."

"Don't be," I said, waving her off.

"How could I not?"

"I can take care of myself."

"I know, but you don't have to. Remember that. We're here for you," Peggy said.

"I know."

Their pity was terrible. I didn't want to see it. We sat together for a while, neither one speaking, as I stared up at the ceiling. There were cracks in the drywall from my anger. It wouldn't be long before the weight was too much and the ceiling caved in. But after today I didn't plan on ever returning here. I couldn't find a reason to keep fighting for the good in the world. Not when the world didn't appreciate my efforts and called me a villain anyway. It didn't matter what I did. I had other things to do with my life and they couldn't be done here.

But those were things to think about later. "How's Chester?" I finally asked.

"He has a sprained wrist. He says it doesn't bother him," Peggy said pointedly.

"Does he -?"

"He doesn't blame you," she interrupted, knowing where I was going with it.

How could he not blame me? His injury was entirely my fault. "He should. I was going to kill him, Peggy," I muttered, wishing that it was a lie. I had felt that urge for just a moment. It had vanished as quickly as it had come, but it was undoubtedly there. "For just a second when he had his hands on me and was pulling me back, I thought about it. I was going to do it."

"But you didn't," Peggy whispered.

"I almost did."

"What's the old saying? Almost only counts in horseshoes and..."

"Hand grenades," I finished.

A small smile tilted up on the edge of her lips. "That's it," Peggy said quietly. We sat in silence for a while as I stared at the cracks running up the wall. Nearly five minutes passed before Peggy spoke again. "I'm only here for you. You're my priority right now."

It meant that she was willing to put whatever was going on with Steve on hold until I was feeling better. It was an extremely sweet thought but I didn't want her to feel like she had to lose her happiness. "You don't have to dance around my feelings right now, Peggy," I said, knowing I was doing the right thing for her, no matter how hard it was for me. "I can read minds. I know what you're thinking. I don't expect you to put whatever is going on with Steve to an end just because..." My voice dropped off as I couldn't bring myself to say it. "Hell, someone deserves to be happy."

"You've got a big heart, even if you don't know it," Peggy said, smiling slightly.

A big heart? I didn't have a big heart. I barely had one at all. I looked down at my bare upper chest. It was slightly visible as my shirt had been torn during the fight two days prior and my ensuing rampage. My red veins were glowing under my skin. "No, I don't," I mumbled.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you were a bad liar?" Peggy asked, smiling at me.

Knowing it was time, I gave her the vaguest smile I could muster. "Not to my face," I replied.

It was the closest I could get to a joke. "Have you spoken to Steve today?" Peggy asked.

"A little bit this morning."

"What did he say?"

"Just that a few years ago Bucky had made him promise to take care of me when he wasn't around."

"And you said?" Peggy asked.

"I can take care of myself," I answered.

Peggy smiled sadly as she laid a hand on my knee. "You know something? I can see it in your eyes," she said. I raised a brow, unsure of what she meant. The depression? Of course, that was obvious. "I know how desperately you want to be left alone. I know how much you want to take your anger out on whatever is closest to you. I promise you that we're not leaving you alone."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

If I were them I would have wanted to run fast and far away from me. I was damaged and this time it seemed like there was no coming back from the damage that had been done. "Because we love you," Peggy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Was that enough to keep them around me for the rest of their lives or would they get sick of me? I stared at Peggy with a clueless look on my face as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss into the edge of my hairline. We took each other's hands for a moment as I tightened my grip on her. I was careful to not seriously injure her but I knew it wasn't painless. Especially as I felt Peggy's hand crack. She made a little wince but otherwise didn't speak as I finally released her hand, trying to put together the words to express even a piece of what I was feeling.

"I would have been devastated when he died anyway, but I thought I'd have decades to get used to the idea. I thought we'd at least have a chance to build a life together first," I mumbled.

Peggy let out a deep breath and looked at the ground for a moment before looking back at me. "It's so unfair, Victoria. We both know that."

"How do you move on?" I asked.

"However you can," she answered. "It helps to not forget that you have a support system."

"Who are all terrified of me," I said.

Every time I looked at them or moved toward them I would see the men twitching from fear. "They're heartbroken for you. No one knows what to say to you that won't make things worse. No one wants to be insensitive," Peggy insisted. Instead of risking being insensitive to me they were settling for an awkward silence. "Everyone wants to take care of you, Victoria. You just have to let them."

"Yeah, I'll work on it," I muttered slowly, looking back at her. "You're right, Peggy. It's so unfair."

Peggy nodded. "I know. When my brother died all I could think was how unfair it was. He had barely gotten a chance to begin his own life before it was taken," she said.

I supposed she knew a bit of what I was going through. "It should have been me," I said.

"Do you think he would agree with that?" Peggy asked.

"I don't care," I snapped, letting out a deep breath. "He deserved better."

"Than what he got? Of course," Peggy said.

That much was obvious. There was one other thing he'd deserved. "Not that. He deserved better than me," I told her, sharing the same sentiment I had shared with him so many times before. "He deserved to have some normal boring apple pie life. He deserved to have a wife who sat at home all day and took care of the kids. He deserved to have some boring office job where he came home safe. He deserved to grow old and die after he'd had a long life."

"A long and boring life which wasn't the one he wanted," Peggy pointed out. "The one he wanted was the one he had."

"The one he lost," I replied.

"He knew what he was risking being out here. He knew what the risk was being with you. He never cared."

"I did."

"I know. Victoria, you knew him better than anyone in the world. Didn't you know that he would have always traded a full life with someone else for even just a few years with you?" Peggy asked gently.

He'd said it enough times himself. He was glad to trade the world for just a few years with me. It hadn't mattered to him how long or short his life was. He was just always happy to have spent some time of it with me. Another sole tear slipped from my eyes as I wiped it away with the back of my hand. I knew that she was right, but it didn't matter. He didn't have to live with what had happened out there. He didn't have anything to worry about now that he was gone. I was the one who had to live without him forever now.

"Did you love him?" Peggy asked, noticing that I was hesitant to speak. "Did you respect him?"

"Of course," I responded.

Peggy smiled. "So, mourn. And then live your life the way he would have wanted," she told me. How could I do that when the period of mourning felt like it would never end? Peggy placed a hand on my knee and squeezed lovingly. "We're leaving soon. I need to get ready."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

It would be one of the more dangerous missions. Peggy always kept some distance. "It's always looked like so much fun when you go down there. I thought I'd join this time," she said.

Interesting... I nodded approvingly. "See you down there."

"You don't have to go if you're not feeling well. You can stay here until you're feeling better," Peggy offered.

I shook my head. "I need to see it. I need to know it's gone."

"We'll be at the airfield in an hour, then," Peggy said.

It became obvious very quickly that she didn't want me going on the mission with them. None of them did. They wanted me to stay here and mourn by crying into my pillows, not killing someone. I nodded at Peggy as she rose to her feet and carefully exited the room, stepping over the broken glass and wood splinters. As she gently closed the door behind her I let out a deep breath. I supposed that I would have to spend some time cleaning up the room when we returned from the Hydra base. It would be something to preoccupy my mind, at least.

I'd never been much for cleaning before but I needed to do something. I couldn't just sit here and stare at the walls all day long. I couldn't sit here for the last few minutes remaining until we were ready to leave for the Hydra base. I had to go do something. I rose to my feet and walked over to the dresser. I grabbed my drawer and opened it, watching as the wood crumbled to pieces in my hands, dropping my clothes to the floor. I let out a deep breath as I took out my last uniform and tossed it to the floor. I tied up my tangled hair into a tight ponytail. There was no need for it to be in my face.

Once it was tied at the crown of my head I leaned down and grabbed my uniform from the floor. I was about to turn and head into the bathroom when I stopped, as something strange had caught my eyes. There was a picture at the bottom of the dresser. It was an older one. Myself, Steve, and Bucky were standing outside of our old apartment building on the first anniversary of the day I had met them. A small sound of pain escaped my mouth as I took the picture and pulled it to my heart. We looked so happy at that moment in time.

How could I have ever known that my life would take a turn like this? When we were children, how could we have ever known that this was where we would end up? As I looked at the picture again I noticed that Steve looked thin but happy - he was holding a corn dog, one of his favorite foods. As he had most of the time since we were kids, Bucky had his arm wrapped around my shoulders as he laughed at something I'd said. I was looking at him in the eyes, smiling at him. My eyes were saying what I never knew back then. I loved him. Always had. Always would.

My chin was trembling gently as I sniffed back my tears. I had cried enough already, I didn't want to cry anymore. I pulled the picture away from my chest and tucked it into my boots. I wanted to keep it with me. As I looked around the tattered room, I knew that the truth about me that the others didn't. I wouldn't be cleaning this place. I wouldn't be returning to this place. There were far too many hard memories here for the time being. Hell, the room still smelled like Bucky. Perhaps one day I would come back here, but I needed to be alone for a while.

Trying to disappear wasn't going to be an easy task. No one was going to let me leave and go into hiding. They were too worried about me and my state of mind. Steve knew all of the places I would have planned on going to hide. We knew each other too well. I would have to go somewhere he wasn't expecting. Peggy and Chester would help him search to the ends of the Earth for me. Howard would use every bit of money and power he had to search for me. The men certainly wouldn't leave me alone as I knew they all felt guilty for what had happened to me.

Ultimately, I decided to ask for the help I needed. I rolled my eyes back into my head and sent out my thought. "Logan."

"Kid," Logan's response came immediately. His internal voice had an edge of concern. "What's wrong?"

"Where are you?" I asked.

"New Orleans," Logan answered.

New Orleans? What the hell was Logan doing in New Orleans? It took me a moment to realize that he had probably tracked down Gambit, just as Howard had told me the first day we had met. He had found another mutant and was someplace safe for now. I hesitated for a moment, unwilling to say anything else to Logan yet. I had a life here. I had friends and family who were all here. But being here was so horrible right now. I didn't know if I could handle it. The people here would be devastated if I left but maybe it would be easier for us all in the long run.

Logan seemed to know that I was unsure of what to do now. "Whatever happened, we'll deal with it. Just come out here," Logan offered.

"Okay," I breathed, unable to say anything else.

It seemed like Logan wanted to say something else - perhaps to ask me when I was going to make my way out to them or what had happened since we'd last seen each other - but I didn't want to speak any longer. Without another word, I broke the link between our minds. I would be able to figure out the details of my plan later. All I knew right now was that I had to spend a little time away from here. There was just one thing I had to do before leaving. Destroy Hydra. With that thought at the forefront of my mind, I took my uniform and headed to the bathroom.

As I walked back into the bathroom, I tried to ignore looking at the mirror. I didn't want to see myself. I tried to slip into my uniform without thinking of anything other than what was to come at the Hydra base. My mind was blank for barely a moment. I wished I could see Bucky's shadow slipping into his uniform in the background. I let out a deep breath once I had changed into my uniform and walked back toward the remnants of the mirror. Through the shattered bits that remained, I could see the deep circles under my red eyes and the red cracks that had formed against my face.

There was nothing I could do to fix those things. I would have to calm myself down or find some happiness in my life again, but those seemed too far to reach. I walked back out of the bathroom and headed toward the door but hesitated at the dresser. I waited a moment before opening the one that had belonged to Bucky. It was still intact. All of his things sat in the drawer, folded neatly, almost like they were waiting for his return. So am I. I sobbed quietly as I took the blue jacket from his uniform and slipped it over my shoulders. Just so I could always have a piece of him.

Having the jacket on me took a bit more of a toll on me than I had been expecting. There was a warmth about the jacket. It had been designed with heavier insulation than mine had as Howard had realized that we would be exposed to the elements on our missions. It was much warmer than mine or Steve's. As I breathed deeply, I realized that I could still smell him on the jacket. It was a moment of comfort. Brief, but it was there. I pulled the jacket tighter around myself as I slipped my knives into my boots and my gun into my thigh holster. I wasn't satisfied. It still wasn't enough.

With one final look at the place I called home, I turned and left the room, refusing to look back at Bucky's open drawer. I didn't need to see it. I didn't need to see the things I knew I would never see again. I walked out into the hallway, headed out of the housing area and wandered into the base. There was no one around. Most people were either dead or evacuated from the base. I was one of the few people who remained. I entered the base, avoiding the people who glanced my way as I headed to Howard's lab. Some of his scientists from Stark Industries were in there with him.

Howard didn't look up until one of his assistants nudged him. He glanced up and jumped, looking very surprised to see me. "Victoria," he said.

He walked up to me with his arms open, looking ready for a hug. "Don't touch me," I demanded as gently as possible. I didn't want a hug. I wanted to be alone. Howard respectfully backed away. "I only came for one thing."

"What do you need?" Howard asked.

"Every weapon you've ever made for me," I answered. He looked surprised I had said that. "Give them to me."

Howard hesitated for a moment before saying, "I thought you said they were too much and not practical for a real fight."

"I'll make them practical," I said.

Howard didn't look pleased with that answer. "Are you sure you want them?" he asked.

"I won't ask again," I growled.

Howard nodded. "Okay. Come on."

All I wanted was to make the ends of their lives a nightmare. They had to be painful and long. Howard let out a deep breath before motioning me to follow him into his lab. I walked with him at a slight distance, feeling my body tremble with fury. I was heartbroken for sure, but I was also angry. I was going to take out that anger on every Hydra soldier I could find and I would make their deaths slow. I was going to make them regret the day they were born. I walked into Howard's office and stood near the desk as he opened a case at the back of the office.

"Take your pick," Howard offered, motioning down to the drawer. I walked up to the case and spotted a small piece of metal about as long as my palm. "It's a retractable spear."

Since when had he created a retractable spear? I didn't remember him ever mentioning it to me. It must have been a more recent invention. I hooked the retractable spear into my belt as I continued looking through the rest of the weapons. Most of them were useless and not painful, but I did find an interesting pair of dual swords that had hooks at the end of the blades. I spun the blades over in my hands before placing them back in their crossed holster and throwing it onto my back. What caught my eyes was a whip with serrated blades attached at the end of the leather.

Howard watched as I picked the weapon up. "A whip?" I asked him.

Howard shrugged. "I got bored one day. Thought you might find some use for it."

A whip? I could find some kind of use for it, I supposed. I unraveled the whip, cracking it at the far end of the room as I twirled my hand, spooling the whip back into my hand. "I will," I told him, hooking it into my utility belt. I was sure that one of the Hydra agents would make a good test dummy for it. Satisfied with my artillery, for now, I nodded at Howard. "These will do."

I turned to leave when Howard called me back. "When you've killed all of those Hydra agents when the job is good and done, what comes then?"

"I haven't gotten that far yet," I answered.

Howard let out a breath that told me he wasn't happy with that answer. He, much like the rest of them, knew what I was planning to do. "That position at Stark Industries is still there for you," Howard answered.

Finally, I turned back to face him. "You don't want me there," I said.

"I do," Howard argued.

"Not while I'm like this," I responded.

No one wanted me around. All I did was drain the happiness from a room when I walked in. I turned to leave the room when Howard took my arm in his hand. I brought the flames to the surface of my arms for a moment before releasing them. I wouldn't hurt him. "That's the thing, honey. Friends are there for each other even in the worst of times. I don't care how long it takes, I'll be there with you every step of the way," Howard said quietly.

His spare hand came up to brush away some wisps of hair. I stared at Howard for a long time, feeling my throat tightening with the threat of tears. My gaze finally turned fully to Howard. He had red-rimmed eyes. He had either been on a drinking binge or he hadn't slept. Perhaps both. He had been drinking more than usual. I could smell it on his breath. I gently pulled out of his grip and turned to leave with my new weapons strapped to my body. I could hear Howard let out a deep breath as I left, refusing to look back at him.

He seemed to be on the verge of calling me back but resisted the temptation. I walked through the halls toward the plane that would take us to the final Hydra base in the Alps. Our final mission. I noticed that everyone that remained in the base steered clear of me as I walked. It wasn't surprising. They were petrified of me. As I walked into the cool air outside I headed to our plane and took a seat inside, waiting in silence. My head throbbed with a headache that wouldn't go away as my body ached with the strain it had been under. My eyes were blurry from crying so much.

My reflection in the shimmering snow showed me that my eyes were still glowing red. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate, my eyes wouldn't go back to being yellow. I'd never wanted them to be yellow so badly in my life. The cracks under my skin were radiating red from my anger. It didn't seem like they would ever go back to normal. I swallowed a lump in my throat as my tears threatened to fall again. He should have been here, with us, as we put an end to the war. His body shouldn't have been rotting at the bottom of a ravine in Switzerland.

It had crossed my mind multiple times since he had fallen that I could have gone to try and retrieve his body. He didn't deserve to be there. He deserved to at least get a proper burial. He deserved to go home. Unfortunately, it didn't take me long to realize that the snow that would have fallen by now would be too extensive. Even if I went hunting him down now, his body would have been coated in snow. It would be next to impossible to find him. Would I even want to find his body? No, I wasn't sure that I could handle seeing him like that.

The image of his decomposing body was clear in my mind. I tried to blink away the images. I didn't want to think about what had happened to me. All I wanted to think about was how I would destroy the Hydra base. That was all I could think about. I pulled the tail end of the whip off of my thigh and wrapped it around my hands, running the needle-like blades over my fingertips. The blades dug into my fingers, splitting the skin there as the Chronicle smeared over the blades, poisoning them. I nodded at my handiwork and dropped the whip back to my side.

I'd been staring at the wall for a few minutes when I heard a voice. "Don't leave."

I looked up in surprise, spotting Steve at my side. "I'm not," I said.

"You are," Steve said.

"I'm right here," I snapped.

But Steve had always known me better than almost anyone else. "You're already checked out. I've known you most of my life, Vic. I know what's going to happen. We'll defeat Hydra and then you'll turn and run," Steve reasoned.

He was correct, so I decided to be honest. "So?"

"I don't want you to run," Steve said.

Sure, he did. Everyone did. "Why not?" I asked, motioning around to the rest of the plane. "Everyone looks miserable because they're afraid to be happy around me."

No one else was on the plane yet but I knew they would be here soon. "They're all mourning," Steve pointed out.

"They won't for long," I said.

Bucky's death would affect me for far longer than it would anyone else. I was the one who wouldn't be able to move past it. "You don't know that. No one wanted to lose him. You didn't want to lose him. We understand how hard this is going to be for you. We know you'll need time. We don't want to force you to hide your mourning," Steve told me.

We. The word echoed in my head for what seemed like hours. What the hell was 'we' supposed to mean? There was no 'we' right now. I was alone, as I so often had been. But when I looked away from Steve I noticed that it wasn't just the two of us any longer. Everyone else was here, too. Howard, Peggy, and Chester were at the front of the line, but the others were close behind them. I stared at the small group, unsure of what I was supposed to say now. I tilted my head from the others back toward Steve, feeling my throat closing.

"Why should I stay?" I asked, my voice wavering.

"Because this is your home," Dum Dum answered.

"We are," Chester added.

"You don't want me here," I told them.

"That's where you're wrong," Howard said, taking a few steps toward me. "We want you here. We want you to stay. We want to be here for you."

There was a long silence that passed as I stared at them. Ultimately, Chester was the one to break the silence. "I know you want to run. Please, don't. You belong here. Don't let this be the thing that drives you away. You don't want us right now but you need us."

"We're your family," Howard added.

Yes. They were. That was why I couldn't stay here. They deserved to be happy and they weren't right now. It killed me to be here, to be around the people I had once always been so happy to spend time with. I wasn't that same girl anymore. I would never be her again. I couldn't ruin their happiness and I couldn't return to the happiness I'd once had. I tried to swallow my nerves but they wouldn't go away. These people were my family but I was driving them away. They didn't want to see me as heartbroken as I was right now. I was somewhat surprised as Steve came to stand in front of me.

"If you can't find a reason to stay for any of the rest of us, stay for me. Remember that you weren't the only one to lose him," Steve begged. I stared at him through misty eyes. I knew that. I knew he had lost Bucky and it hurt him as much as it hurt me. "Stay, Vic. Stay with me."

I could feel the tears brimming on the edge of my eyes. "I can't," I whispered.

Steve's voice lowered to a weak waver. "You can. Just stay."

But I couldn't. I shook my head, trying to stop myself from crying but it was no use. I was devastated. My life had forever changed and I could never go back to the way I had once been. The tear fell and I couldn't bring myself to stop it this time. Once the first tear had fallen the rest followed in the brief moments after. I surprised myself by raising my hands in front of my face to shield my reaction from the others. Some of the men looked like they were about to cry and Chester's and Howard's eyes were glistening with tears. Peggy was already crying.

There was only one person who was crying even harder than Peggy was. Steve had been reacting to Bucky's death the same way I was. My throat closed as I felt Steve's strong arms tighten around my body. I could feel myself trembling under his touch. I reached up and gripped onto the back of his uniform at his shoulder-blades. Steve's arms tightened around me so much that they would have broken the bones of any other person. The others watched helplessly in the background. They knew that I wasn't ready for the rest of them. Not yet.

Without speaking, Steve pulled me back into our previous seats, squishing together in one chair. We remained seated together as the plane took off. We didn't speak as the others nodded respectfully and slowly walked off. They knew that the two of us needed this moment to be alone. The plane made it to altitude before Steve and I finally broke apart. He didn't release my hand, instead, tugging me further into his chair, allowing me to curl up at his side. We sat together, our hands clasped together with my head resting on his shoulder, still not speaking.

The plane made the flight to the Alps steadily but neither one of us moved throughout the flight. We just waited patiently. It was only when the plane began making its descent that Steve and I finally broke the link between our hands. I stared at Steve as the others returned, preparing themselves for the attack. The plane had joined dozens of others in the air. We would be fighting along with other army companies as we fought to end Hydra. All I knew was that I would destroy the base whether or not any of the joining soldiers were in it.

Steve was going to get the chance to head to the base first. I would have to wait with the rest of the soldiers until he was ready. I would be entering the base with James, Dum Dum, and Gabe. I didn't plan on speaking with them and planning the attack. My focus would be on the Hydra soldiers. I was planning on creating the most painful traps I could think of for them. I didn't plan on obeying anyone's orders. I had my plans to take care of. I glanced over at Steve as we began to make our way toward the others.

"Steve?" I called.

He glanced up. "Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"I will."

"I'll kill you if you get yourself hurt," I snarled.

Steve's face split into a small smile, hearing that tiniest bit of my old self in my voice. "Don't worry, Vic, you're going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life," he teased.

"Not really," I mumbled.

Steve walked up and tapped me against the chest. "Always." I gave a weak nod, trying to keep myself from crying again. I was sick of crying. "I'll meet you there, okay?" Steve offered.

"Yeah," I said.

The plane landed with a gentle thud and the rear door of the plane dropped open. I walked out with the rest of the guys and Steve at my side. He took his motorcycle and mounted up, waiting at the ramp of the plane. Howard motioned him out. With a quick nod, Peggy, Chester, Jim, and Jacques followed him to meet up with the rest of the infiltration team. The rest of the guys, Howard, and I would take the plane near the wide bay windows Zola had explained looked into Schmidt's lab. We could get in through those.

Howard would be flying us up to that section of the mountain and then return to the woods to pick everyone else up at the end of the mission. None of us spoke as we headed back into the plane and took our seats as Howard flew us back toward the mountains. I looked down at the floor of the plane and didn't speak as we flew. The others chatted quietly about the mission. I hated having to be here right now. I wanted to leave. I wanted to break into the Hydra facility and destroy the workers there, but the others wouldn't let me do this without the rest of them.

A few minutes passed before the plane landed on the edge of the mountain. The men began getting ready, gathering their climbing and repelling equipment for the Hydra attack. I would be able to fly without the assist of climbing equipment. We were directly across from the windows we would be entering through. I was ready to get up too when I sensed that we weren't alone. Someone was waiting for us. Schmidt must have been waiting for our attack. I rose from my chair first and crossed in front of the men, holding out my hands to stop them from moving.

"Wait here," I told them.

"What's wrong?" Dum Dum asked, now alerted to the fact that something was wrong.

"We're not alone," I said.

"We'll come with you. We'll help," Gabe offered.

"Wait here," I repeated, stating it this time without leaving room for argument. "I'll handle it."

They weren't going to come out there and get themselves hurt. No one else. Ten guards were hiding out in the woods, likely trying to prevent an attack from outside the base. It was exactly what we were planning. I took the weapons Howard had given me in my hands and headed down the ramp of the plane. They thought they were silent, but I could hear them. I could hear their breathing. I could hear the gentle click of metal from their fingers on the triggers. I could hear the rustle of the fabric from their uniforms. I could hear the crunch of snow under their feet.

I looked up from the ground and stared into the trees. "Don't be shy," I called out threateningly.

The noises ceased immediately as the men who were hiding in the trees realized that I could hear them. I heard the faint wisp of fabric as one of the men pointed his gloved hand toward where I was hiding, apparently telling the others to attack me. What was the point? They knew they were going to die? They may as well have saved me the trouble. I looked down to the ground for a moment before looking back up toward the trees, my eyes had turned black. I could hear their feet begin to move as they advanced on me.

My hands began to flame as I felt the shift in the wind from their moving bodies. The ten men headed straight toward me. I knew the easiest way to keep them away from my boys. The ones I had left... The flames ran up my arms as the trees seemed to open up and the small legion of men headed out toward me. I shot two spear-like flames from both of my hands toward the men. The spear flames shredded through two men's uniforms and their sternums. They dropped to the snow, both on fire and dead.

The other eight men knew that it was now or never as they ran forward to advance on me. None of them had guns. It seemed that they had finally learned that I could fight back against them even while being shot at. I pulled the spear from my belt and opened it to its full length. As two of them came up to my sides I spun the spear over my shoulders and back down to my right side, thrusting upward and jamming the spear through the throat of the man on my left. I ripped it out of his throat and kneeled, spinning on my knees and locking the spear into the second man's collarbone.

He collapsed to his knees, screaming, as I released the spear, leaving it in his shoulder. I turned and pulled the swords from the holsters on my back, sliding forward on my knees through the bloody snow. I slashed the first so hard to the side that it cut through one of the soldiers' jaws, separating it from his body as I swung the other sword over in my hand and slit the fifth man's throat without ever looking back at him. I placed the swords back in the sheath, grabbing the spear I had left in the man's shoulder from behind and ripped it through his chest without looking at him either.

As all three men's corpses fell to the ground, it left four men remaining. They had hesitated a bit as I'd taken down the others, probably wondering if this was worth their lives. I didn't care. I looked to one of the massive pine trees at the edge of the forest and raised the hundred-year-old roots through the frozen ground. The roots from the trees released, snapping in the air until the weakened tree gave way and collapsed to the ground, crushing two more of the men. The tremor caused the two remaining men to stumble along after me.

They didn't get more than a few feet before I created a force field and raised the last two men into the air. They screamed panicked curses but were otherwise powerless to stop me as I raised my hand higher and higher, gently flicking my wrist off to the side. The men went soaring through the air and down into the chasm below. I released the force field from around their bodies and allowed them to go falling to the rocks below. Just the way he did. I breathed out shakily as I walked through the bloody snow and back to the plane where the men were waiting.

Howard was the first to meet me at the ramp. "Victoria -"

"It's handled," I interrupted, looking through Steve's vision to see that he was being brought to the Red Skull's private lab by Hydra soldiers. "Come on. Steve was just captured."

Anything they'd wanted to say to me died on their tongues, realizing that I didn't want to speak. I just wanted to end this. I didn't speak as Dum Dum, Gabe, James, and I walked toward the edge of the mountain. Howard was watching us from the top of the plane's ramp. I rolled my eyes back to see what was going on in Schmidt's lab. I could see the Hydra guards dragging in Steve. He was staring at a newly-commissioned grotesque portrait of the Red Skull. A moment later the real Red Skull stepped out from the shadows as Steve struggled against the guards who were holding him.

"Arrogance may not be a uniquely American trait, but I will say you do it better than anyone else," the Red Skull said, leaning in, his white teeth gleaming against his crimson face. The black char marks from when I had half-blinded him still ran over his right eye. "There are limits to what even you can do, Captain. Or did Erskine tell you otherwise?"

"He told me you were insane," Steve responded.

The Red Skull nodded understandingly. "Ah. He resented my genius and tried to deny me what was rightfully mine, but he gave you everything," Schmidt said, sounding almost wounded. "So, what made you so special?"

Steve let out a puffing breath, looking to the ground. "Nothing," Steve answered, slowly raising his head to stare into the Red Skull's sunken eyes. "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."

It sounded like something I would say. The Red Skull seethed at his teasing answer, rearing back and smashing Steve across the face. The guards on each side of Steve's body held his arms to keep him upright while the Red Skull battered him, backhanding him with his spare arm before rearing back and punching him in the stomach. That was when Steve finally hit the ground. It was a few seconds before the Red Skull stepped back. Steve was panting and coughing down on his knees, beaten and exhausted. He looked up at the Red Skull, still smiling.

"Time to move," I said, coming back to the others.

"Victoria -" Gabe began.

He stopped speaking as we looked at each other. I nodded at him, feeling the guilt seep off his body. It wasn't Gabe's fault and I knew that. "Be careful," I warned him.

"You too," Gabe said.

"I can do this all day," Steve said to the Red Skull back in his lab.

"Oh, of course you can, of course," the Red Skull said, the smile evident in his voice. The men with me on the mountain positioned themselves for the flight down. "But unfortunately I am on a tight schedule."

The Red Skull pulled his Luger out to shoot Steve between the eyes as the men released their grapples. Steve stared bravely down the barrel. "So am I," he responded.

There were three loud thunks from the climbing gear locking into the mountain. The Red Skull turned back to the window to see our group of four flying straight toward the windows. The Red Skull spun back to Steve, pistol leveled. Steve swung a guard around that the Red Skull fired at, blocking the blast from himself. The guard was incinerated as Dum Dum, Gabe, and James smashed through the window on the zip lines. I slammed through the concrete and metal beams, hitting the floor in a tuck and roll. Gabe landed on the Red Skull's desk, blasting away with his point-thirty caliber gun.

As the three men shot at the Hydra guards, I unfolded my whip and cracked it across the torsos of three soldiers standing near me. Their guts were shredded to pieces as they fell to the ground, the Chronicle working its way through their bodies to shut down their organs. They would die from that or the blood loss. I pulled the whip back to myself as I moved toward Steve, pulling the spear out to its full length. Steve ducked down as I thrust the spear toward a soldier, tearing open his helmet and jaw. I let out a breath, placing the spear back in my belt.

At the same moment, the Red Skull took off down the hallway. "Rogers!" James shouted, picking up Steve's shield and throwing it to him. "You might need this!"

"Thanks!" Steve yelled, catching it.

He gave me a quick glance and I nodded, motioning for him to take off. I could keep at his heels with minimal effort. We were both much faster than anyone else in the compound. Steve followed the Red Skull down the hallway with me right at his heels. There was a loud explosion on the other end of the base that had come from our base and the allies that had joined the attack. I listened as the opposite end of the base flooded with both Hydra soldiers and our allies, all coming to try and kill each other.

Jim's voice came in loudly over the radio. "We're in. Go! Assault team! Go!"

"Move out!" Chester yelled.

The base was rattling with explosions as the soldiers ran into each other. I could hear both the rattle of bullets leaving the guns and the electronic charges from the Hydra weapons. The base flooded with hundreds of the Allied troops that had been hiding in the woods. I could hear Chester ordering the troops and Peggy's boots hitting the forest floor as she ran toward the base. This was the one chance we had to show Hydra everything we had. Most troops were headed away from us, but I did see a few Hydra soldiers heading right for us.

Steve and I exchanged a quick look. "Go. Find Schmidt. I'll handle them," I said.

He nodded without another word. I raised a force field and slammed the four Hydra soldiers into the wall as Steve ran past, following the Red Skull's path. Once he was clear of their path I dropped the force field, positive that they would run for me and not Steve. I pulled the swords from the sheath on my back and turned them over in my hands as the guards approached. I slid forward on my knees, thrusting one of the swords into a guard's stomach, turning on my knees as I spun the other sword over my head, cutting off another man's legs at the thigh.

Once he had fallen, I spun back and ripped the sword out of the first man's stomach, spinning it in my hand and cutting off his head in one clean movement. With my other sword, I thrust upward through the third man's torso, splitting his ribs open. As the fourth man came behind me, I rotated the other sword backward in my hand and thrust upward, sending the blade of the sword up into his jaw and through the top of his skull. I ripped it out a moment later, having never even looked at the man.

With all four men dead, I placed the bloodied swords back into the sheath and turned toward where Steve had run off. He was closing in on the Red Skull but still too far away. I ran after him, wanting to ensure that I was close to him throughout the fight. I didn't want to see him get hurt too. Not after the last loss that I had suffered. It took me a few moments to catch up with him. I could see Steve at the far end of the hallway, hurling his shield to stop a set of closing doors that the Red Skull had just run through.

Steve took off after the Red Skull but a Hydra flame trooper stomped out of the intersecting corridor, blocking his way, raising his twin guns. Steve was smart enough to duck into an opening in the wall as the trooper's guns went up in flames. I was moving toward the Hydra soldier at full speed when there was a deafening bang as the gas tank on the trooper's back exploded with the sound of gunfire. Peggy stepped out of the corridor, rifle in hand. Steve and I both stared at her, baffled, as the soldiers behind her ran forward. We headed toward her.

"Good aim," I told her.

Peggy smiled. "Thank you."

Steve waltzed up to her, looking more confident than he ever had. "You're late," he told her.

Peggy watched as Steve approached her and nodded at the door. "Weren't you about to -?"

"Right," Steve said, suddenly remembering what we were here for.

Steve looked back at me as I nodded reassuringly. This one was all his. "Go get him. We'll take care of things here," I confirmed.

There was a sharp yell and I looked up to see what was going on. A final Hydra soldier was coming our way. Steve and I exchanged a look, already perfectly in sync. Steve kneeled as Peggy stumbled back, knowing she was in the way. I ran up to Steve and jumped onto his back as the guard ran up to us, spinning through the air with the boost I'd gotten from Steve and kicking the guard as hard as I could across the side of his head. The guard's skull flew apart in his helmet as I hit the ground again, scowling at the corpse of the man.

"Nice kick," Peggy commented.

"Thanks," I replied, looking back at Steve. "Go."

Steve turned to leave but stopped at the last moment. He grabbed my arm in his. "Wait a second."

"What are you doing? You need to leave. Schmidt's going to get away," I warned him.

"He won't. I'll get him," Steve promised. "I need to say something to you first."

"You don't need to say anything to me," I said.

"I do," Steve replied. Peggy took a few steps back to give us some privacy, sensing where this conversation was going. "I'm sorry, Vic."

"You don't have anything to apologize for," I told him.

It wasn't his fault. It was no one's fault except for Hydra. I knew that. It was my job to save him and I hadn't done it. "Yes, I do," Steve insisted. "I should have moved faster. I should have been paying more attention. I shouldn't have made you feel like you needed to do everything to protect us. This shouldn't have happened to you."

"You never made me feel that way. It was my fault," I muttered.

Steve shook his head comfortingly. "It wasn't. I was there. I was feet away. It was me, Vic, and I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

Steve hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I've been thinking about something. When this is over, let's go somewhere for a while. Just me and you. Until things get better."

But what about his life? He couldn't spend it taking care of me. I glanced over at Peggy before looking back to Steve. "You don't -"

"You're my priority, Vic," Steve said, knowing what I was thinking. "You always will be."

It wasn't fair to him. "Steve -"

Peggy walked up to my side, speaking over me. "If this is what you need to do, you should do it," she said, giving me a sad smile. She knew what the others did. I needed time to be away from them. I needed some time to mourn without watchful eyes. "Go and heal in whatever way you need to do. We'll be waiting for you both when you're ready."

I wiped away a tear that had formed at the edge of my tear ducts. "Okay," I whispered.

"Come here," Steve mumbled.

His arms were open, just as they always were when I needed them. I let out a deep breath, walking into his arms as he pulled me into a hug. It felt like I would be sick for a moment as he pressed my head into his shoulder. We held each other in a tight grip for a while as he wrapped his arms over my shoulders and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I could feel Peggy's hand gently running down my back. We remained locked together for a few moments and I only pulled away because I knew that Schmidt was getting further and further away.

"Go. We'll be here," I told Steve. He nodded, this time turning and sprinting for the door, grabbing his shield as he went. The doors slammed closed behind him. I turned to Peggy, who had a worried look on her face. "He'll be okay."

"I know," Peggy said confidently.

"Are you okay with it?" I asked her worriedly.

"Yes," Peggy said, without a hint of doubt in her voice. "If it helps you, I want you to do it."

It didn't seem like it would help, but I knew that it would. The only person I could truly mourn around was Steve. He was the only one I would let see me this way. That would be a problem for later. "I've got an idea," I told Peggy.

"Oh?" she asked curiously.

"He's fast but he's not as fast as I am. He'll need a boost," I said.

"How?" Peggy asked.

"I know just where to find one," I said, smirking at her. "Come with me."

She nodded as I turned and sprinted back through the base. I wasn't positive exactly where we were going, but it wouldn't be far away. I slowed a bit to allow Peggy to keep at my heels as we ran. I knew that Schmidt would have left his car somewhere close by. There was no way that Steve was going to be able to catch up to the Valkyrie without some assistance. We would have to help. We sprinted the other direction, taking the hallway around toward the hangar that Steve had taken the direct route to. I wasn't sure what we could do, but we had to do something.

We reached the side entrance to the hangar but the doors were barred. I pushed Peggy back and kicked the doors apart. The steel doors went splintering apart and the pieces of steel killed some of the Hydra guards who had been standing close to it. Peggy and I saw some of the S.S.R. soldiers heading inside the compound from our new entrance. I nodded for Peggy and me to move forward. Even from here I could see Steve battling a legion of Hydra soldiers halfway through the hangar while trying to catch up to the Valkyrie and Schmidt.

We were about to sprint after Steve when I heard an engine rev. We turned back to see Chester in Schmidt's car. "Need a lift?" Chester asked.

"Good choice," I told him, looking back at Peggy. "Move."

All three of us nodded at each other as Peggy hopped into the backseat. Steve would need to be in the front to reach the Valkyrie. I nodded at Peggy, who was sitting comfortably in the single backseat and hopped onto the rear end of the car, kneeling on my hands and knees. We were driving through the massive crowd of Hydra soldiers that Steve was barely able to escape. My eyes glazed over as I waited until we had passed clear of the S.S.R. soldiers, who were fighting back against the Hydra soldiers.

Once I was sure I wouldn't hurt any of our soldiers, I produced a massive gust of wind and blew the Hydra soldiers back onto both ends of the hangar, slamming their bodies fatally against the metal panels. I turned back to the S.S.R. soldiers and smirked. That ought to have made their jobs easier. They were cheering after us as Peggy and Chester looked back at me, the path ahead of us now cleared. I watched from my spot firmly rooted on the trunk of the car as we drove toward Steve, who was still running.

At the far end of the hangar, hundreds of meters away, I saw the sliding hangar doors open, letting in the glare of daylight. We would have to get Steve there before the Valkyrie could take off. Steve was chasing after the plane, but the massive bomber was already picking up speed. It started to pull away, leaving Steve in the background. Just as he had done with Peggy and me, Chester revved the engine at Steve as we came up alongside him. It was perfect timing too, as he had stopped running from pure exhaustion.

"Get in!" Chester shouted at Steve.

Steve jumped into the passenger seat without hesitation. In the back, Peggy chambered a round into Chester's shotgun. Chester was gaining on the plane, but Schmidt must have seen it as the Valkyrie's rear propellers spun into a blur, widening the gap. Chester looked down at a toggle switch on the dash marked 'Kompressor,' which he hit. There was a whooshing sound as the car leaped forward, throwing us back. Even I had to grab onto the backseat to keep from losing my grip. Steve climbed over the side of the door and steadied himself.

"Keep it steady," Steve told Chester.

"Wait!" Peggy yelled suddenly.

My head snapped around to make sure that he wasn't about to get hurt. It was far from the truth. Peggy grabbed Steve by the strap around his chest and pulled him into her. For a moment, I thought she would just hug him. Instead, she kissed him. I nearly laughed at the sweet moment between the pair. I glanced at Chester, nodding at him. We'd all seen it coming. When the two of them finally broke the kiss, Steve stared at her, wide-eyed. For the first time since Bucky's death, I smiled. I was heartbroken but genuinely happy for them.

"Go get him," Peggy told Steve.

Steve nodded, stunned, as he looked to Chester. "I'm not kissing you!" Chester yelled.

Steve looked back at me and I gave him a reluctant smile. He needed to know that I was happy for him, despite what it looked like. "Go," I said quietly. Steve kneeled and kissed my hair as he turned back toward the Valkyrie. He was about to jump to the plane when I grabbed Steve's lapel, just the way Peggy had. "If you get hurt out there -"

"You'll kill me yourself. I know," Steve interrupted.

At least he was finally learning that my threats were serious. I didn't want to see him get hurt. Knowing that he would be okay, I released him. Steve braced himself on the hood of the car as we came closer and closer to the Valkyrie. Chester pulled up to within a few inches of the spinning wheels. We all ducked down as we shot below the propellers, which scratched the hood and took off the hood ornament. It caught the back of Steve's shield too. I readied a force field, just in case we got too close to the propellers.

Just then the plane burst out of the tunnel and took off. Chester spotted the gorge ahead and slammed on the brakes of the car. At the last moment, Steve leaped, snagging the landing gear. The plane shot over the edge of the mountain, sailing up into the air. Chester skidded to a stop, with myself assisting in locking up the brakes as the rear wheels slipped over the edge of the cliff. We saw Steve hanging onto the landing gear, locking his arm around a strut. The plane gained altitude as he looked for a way in. Just then, the landing gear groaned as the wheels retracted.

Peggy stood up, watching the plane as I turned back to the hangar. Steve would be all right. It was our turn to finish the mission down here. "Clear the base," I told Peggy and Chester.

"What are you doing?" Peggy asked.

"Ending this," I answered, hopping off the back of the car and tapping against the hood. I raised the car with a force field, placing it back on the tarmac. My eyes blazed golden as I looked back to Peggy and Chester. "Go. I'll keep the west side of the base intact."

"We'll meet you in the control room," Chester said.

Peggy and Chester sped off as fast as they possibly could, getting on the radio and alerting the rest of the troops to evacuate the base. I walked back to the hangar, watching as the base emptied. Peggy and Chester sped around the side of the hangar, heading back to the control room on the far end of the base. I watched as the S.S.R. soldiers ran toward the doors, trying to get away from the Hydra soldiers. I watched as some of the Hydra agents headed toward me. One was very close as I grabbed my whip and ensnared his neck with it, tugging so hard that it pulled his head off his body.

They needed a few minutes to clear the base of the S.S.R. soldiers, which would be easy. I raised my hands and let off blasts of flames. The flames shot out from my hands and wrapped like snakes around the bodies of the Hydra soldiers. The soldiers fell to the ground, screaming and crying as their bodies fell apart. They were powerless to stop their deaths. The steel walls began melting under the intense heat as the roof began caving in from the lack of stability. Most of the soldiers were collapsing, unable to stand the toxic smoke.

There were still some that were headed toward me. I raised the lightning to the tops of my arms and shot them straight up into the ceiling panels. The lights blew out, sending pieces of glass to the floor below. The electric panels at the far end of the hangar shut down, making it impossible to open the doors for the Hydra soldiers to escape. They were stuck in here. This was their grave. Realizing that they had no other choice, the soldiers began running toward me to try and fight for their lives.

At the same time, I heard Chester's voice in my head. "The base is clear. Do what you need."

Fighting me was useless. They should have known that. My eyes began glowing golden as I turned toward the advancing soldiers and let the radiation collect in my body. The golden cracks began forming over my skin as my vision turned to gold. I waited for a moment to let the soldiers come within a few feet of me before letting the bomb off. It was the strongest one I had ever created, so strong that it blew the hangar to bits. Metal panels went flying miles into the sky as the bodies in front of me were disintegrated, leaving nothing in their wakes.

The windows inside the base had been shattered into pieces as sections of the building melted into the snow. The parts of the building that remained looked like a monster had torn through it. I sighed as I clambered back to my feet, spotting the black and red streaks through the snow. There was nothing left. Not of the base and not of the soldiers that had been standing near me. Only bone and blood remained. The west section of the building that I had promised to keep intact was the only part of the building that remained.

I rose to my feet and walked through the burning ground. There were chunks of melted metal and burned flesh with bones sticking out of the remains. The bodies of the Hydra agents had been blown to pieces and the building had been torn down to a shred. I relished in the flames that licked at the edge of my body and the radioactive glow in the air. It felt good to me. I wandered through the chunks of metal, bone, and tissue until I reached the west side of the base. None of the Hydra soldiers remained. They were all in or near the hangar.

I'd done my job. It was up to Steve to do his. I spotted Gabe, Dum Dum, James, Jacques, and Howard waiting near the control room. "What happened?" Gabe asked.

"They're taken care of," I answered, walking into the control room with Chester, Peggy, and Jim. "Any word from Steve?"

"Not yet," Peggy replied worriedly.

The moments the words had come out of her mouth, a massive column of energy shot upward at a distance into space, growing in intensity until it exploded outward, evaporating through the clouds. Even from back at the base, we could all feel the energy surge. There was some concerned chattering, but I'd realized what had happened. Schmidt wasn't dead but he was gone. The Space Stone had decided that he wasn't worthy of its power. He was no longer our problem.

"What was that?" Peggy asked.

"The Red Skull's gone," I answered.

"Gone?" Chester asked.

"Gone," I confirmed.

"Not dead?" Chester asked.

"Not dead," I confirmed.

"How could he be gone and not dead?" Jim asked.

"The Space Stone doesn't work like the rest of the Infinity Stones. In its raw power, it doesn't destroy its victims. It teleports them," I answered.

"Where?" Peggy asked.

That was the one thing I didn't know for sure. All I knew was that the Red Skull would never return to Earth. I was about to answer with my best guess when the radio squawked. "Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" Steve's voice called.

Peggy and I ran to the radio. "Captain Rogers," Jim began, "what is your -?"

"Steve, is that you?" Peggy interrupted, taking over the radio from him, sounding both frantic and relieved. "Are you alright?"

Why the hell was he still in the plane and not on his way back here? "Steve, goddammit, what's going on?" I asked, seating myself on Peggy's other side.

"Peggy, Vic, Schmidt's dead!" Steve said.

Not really, but that would be a topic for another time. Peggy and I exchanged a quick look as I shook my head at her. "Yeah, we know that. We saw the Space Stone go up," I told him.

"What about the plane?" Peggy asked.

"That's a little bit tougher to explain," Steve said after a brief hesitation.

I grit my teeth in annoyance. "Well, figure out a way to explain it," I snapped.

"Give us your coordinates. We'll find you a safe landing site," Peggy said.

It would be a rough landing but we could figure it out. "You're out in the middle of nowhere. We'll find a place. It might be a bit of a rough landing, these mountains don't have many flat spaces," I explained.

"There's not gonna be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down," Steve said.

"Don't be dramatic," I barked.

He wasn't going to die. He wasn't. "I'm not," Steve told me. "Schmidt's locked the navigation system and there's more than enough power to reach the East Coast."

Peggy looked as grave as I felt. There had to be something we could do. In the background, Chester motioned to Jim to walk away. This was a moment meant for us. Before leaving, Chester laid a hand on my shoulder to try and get me to leave but I whacked his hand away. I had to be here. "I'll get Howard on the line. He'll know what to do," Peggy offered.

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York," Steve said.

We could do something. He wasn't going to give in. "Tell me what's there. Tell me what's in front of you, I'll walk you through it," I offered.

It would take Howard too long to figure things out, no matter how smart he was, but I could do something. "There's no time, Vic. There's not," Steve said, knowing that I would argue with him. "I'd move too slow and if I do something wrong I'll be too close to New York to stop it."

"Tell me your coordinates, damn you. I'll blow the plane to hell before it ever gets a chance to reach land," I snapped.

"With me in it?" Steve asked worriedly.

"No, not with you in it, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "I'll get you first and then blow it up."

"You won't get here in time," Steve said.

"Wanna bet?" I growled.

"You can't get out here in time," Steve repeated. "I don't want you to see it. Not this time."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Steve -"

"I've got to put her in the water," Steve said.

"Please, don't do this. We have time. We can work it out," Peggy said, her voice wavering.

"Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer, a lot of people are going to die," Steve pointed out. The line was silent for a moment before Steve continued. "Peggy, Vic, this is my choice."

"It's the wrong choice," I said.

"It's the only choice," Steve replied.

"It's not," I snarled, turning toward the door. "I'm coming to you."

"Don't, Vic. Please, don't," Steve said before I could walk off. I stopped long enough to hear him out. "Stay here. I want to hear from you... I want to hear from you both until it's time."

"Don't do this," I begged, my voice breaking. "You promised you wouldn't leave me."

"I'm not leaving. Not really," Steve answered. He was. Just the way people always left. "I've gotta tell you something, Vic. You don't break promises, right?"

"Right," I said.

"So, I need you to promise me something," Steve said.

"Okay," I said, my voice wavering.

"Don't run away. Don't leave," Steve said. He knew that, without him, I couldn't stay. I couldn't deal with losing him too. "The guys, Colonel Phillips, Howard, and Peggy; they're your family. You need to be with them. You need to be with people who love you. They're the people you have left now. They'll take care of you, however you need it."

It was too much to lose at one time. "I just lost him two days ago. Don't make me lose you too. Please," I begged.

"I love you, Vic," Steve whispered.

"I love you too, Steve," I replied, perhaps for the final time.

The radio went silent as there was a click from his end of the radio. I could hear the plane begin the screaming dive toward the ice. "Peggy?" Steve asked.

"I'm here," Peggy said.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance," Steve told her.

Peggy was trying to hold back her tears but was no more successful than I was. "All right. A week next Saturday at the Stork Club," she told him.

"You got it," Steve said.

"Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late," Peggy warned, her voice cracking. "Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance," Steve said.

Peggy closed her eyes, smiling sadly. "I'll show you how. Just be there."

He couldn't be alone. Not the way Bucky had been. My eyes rolled back into my head as I joined Steve in the rapidly descending Valkyrie. His compass with Peggy's picture was on the dashboard. Steve looked up at me and smiled, realizing that I was just in his mind. "I'll be right here with you until it's time," I promised him.

Steve nodded slowly. "Until it's time," he agreed.

"You're not alone," I promised him.

"Neither are you. You never will be. Please remember that," Steve begged.

I nodded weakly. "I'm sorry."

Steve smiled sadly. "Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for," Steve said. He spoke to the radio the next time but continued looking at me. "We'll have the band play something slow, I'd hate to step on your -"

At the last moment, as the Valkyrie had come within inches of the ice, Steve and I exchanged a long look. I didn't want him to see it coming. Then there was a complete blackness as I was thrown back to my body, collapsing into my chair. My body trembled with horror as I searched for any signs of life in Steve's mind. There was no answer, no matter how hard I tried. Much like what had happened with Bucky, all I could do was try and comfort him in his last moments. I couldn't save him. My head throbbed at the sound of the deafening hiss from the radio.

Peggy began sobbing at the realization of what had just happened. "Steve? Steve? Steve?"

But there was no answer. He was gone. Something in me seemed to die at that realization. I felt just as I had when Bucky died. But something was different this time around. I felt empty. Hopeless. Like nothing good could ever come into my life again. I had lost everything. Bucky was dead. Steve was dead. The others would continue after them. My future was gone. There was no one left who could defend me. I had lost my two greatest protectors. The only people the world would have listened to.

There was no doubt in my mind that any future I'd had was gone. Any chance of having a family was gone. Any chance of retiring was gone. I couldn't hide forever. I couldn't let the people who loved me give up their lives to try and give me a chance to have one. I'd had my chance at life and now it was gone. Word was sure to get out about their deaths soon and there was one common link in them. Me. President Roosevelt would use this as his leverage to keep me as the villain. He wanted a monster and now he had one.

I wasn't going to give myself a moment to think about it. I rose to my feet, determined to leave. "Where are you going?" Peggy asked, wiping away her tears.

"Away," I answered vaguely.

"Where?" Peggy pushed.

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to," I said.

"Victoria!" Peggy yelled.

Her shout attracted the attention of the others. "Goodbye," I said.

"Don't walk away from us," Chester told me.

He reached out to take my arm as I walked past the rest of the team. "Get off of me," I snapped, shoving him away from me. He stumbled back as I turned to them. I supposed I owed them a fair explanation. "You'll let me walk away this time. Don't come looking for me. Don't tell them the truth about what happened today. They'll call me the villain. They'll turn this against me."

"We'll tell them the truth -"

"The truth is that I killed them both," I interrupted Peggy. It was the explanation the United States would come up with. It would turn me into the monster and put me in exile. If the others argued against it, it would only exile them too. "That's the truth they'll want to hear."

"It's a lie," Jim snapped.

Of course. Almost everything they said about me was a lie. "And you'll know that. That's good enough for me," I said.

With what I was planning to do, I couldn't have the others standing behind me. They needed to distance themselves. "It's not good enough for us," Dum Dum growled.

"Why would you do this?" Gabe asked desperately.

It was the only way to save them. I would damn myself, but it didn't matter. That had happened from the day I was born. "Because if you let them know that you're still on my side, they'll never leave you alone. You'll live in the shadows just like I did. You'll never get to have your lives. This is your chance to start over," I told them.

"What about you?" Howard asked.

"This is exactly the life I was always meant to have," I said.

"It is not, Victoria," James said.

"Come back with us. We'll keep them away from you," Jacques said.

"You can't," I told them honestly.

"Don't do this!" Peggy yelled, running up and taking my hands as tears ran down her face. I gently pulled away from her. "I just lost him. We've all lost them. Don't make us lose you too."

"You're better off without me," I said.

"We are not!" Chester barked.

"What about us?" Howard asked, his voice wavering.

They would always be safe. Whether or not they knew it, I would always keep an eye on them. None of the other people I loved would be hurt. "I'll always watch over you. I'll be here if you ever need me," I promised. "You know how to get in touch."

"You're my daughter. I'll protect you," Chester said.

Yes. They could protect me, but I wouldn't be able to protect them. I couldn't protect Steve or Bucky, but I could protect the rest of them. "There comes a time in every child's life that they have to step up and protect their parents. It's my turn to protect you now. You've done enough," I told him.

"We have not! Not until we save you," Peggy argued.

Saving me? No one could save me. I had been damned from the day I was born. "There is no saving me. You've all given me a chance to have the life I always wanted," I told them. My eyes glazed over white as I took over their minds. I hated doing it, but it was my only chance to get them to save their lives. "Repeat the story I told you."

Chester was sobbing as he walked toward me. "Don't do this," he begged.

"The past few years have been a dream," I said quietly, gently running my hand down the side of his face, wiping a tear away from the corner of his jaw. "Thank you for them. But the dream's over. Time to wake up."

With a final attempt at a smile, I turned to leave. The small group all yelled after me, tears streaming down their faces as they tried to keep me with them. I walked past them, using a force field to keep them frozen in their spots as I walked out of the control room and out of the Hydra base. The snow was melting under my feet as the radiation coming off of my body caused ripples in the air. Schmidt, President Roosevelt, and even Stryker had always wanted to make me a monster. They had finally broken me. Now they were about to meet the monster they had created.

A/N: We're almost done! Only the epilogue is left. It'll probably be a shorter chapter. There's going to be a lot of mystery shrouding the next sixty-seven years of Victoria's life, but I will slowly reveal it through flashbacks and character exposition. You'll see what I mean more throughout The Avengers storyline. Thank you for the follows and favorites! Please review! Until next time -A

KEZZ 1: Thank you! I'm sorry this chapter took a long time to get out but I wanted it to be up-to-par before I released it. I hope you enjoyed it!

.2019: I'm so glad you loved the last one! I hope you enjoyed this one too!

kuppcake: Oh, I'm kind of sorry you almost cried in front of strangers on the subway but also happy I was able to elicit that kind of emotion lol. I know the last one was hard to read, it wasn't exactly happy. Of course, this one wasn't either. Trust me, I knew it was coming and I still wasn't ready to write it. Thank you for the belated birthday wishes! Hopefully this one wasn't too upsetting!