FSG Belongs To ELJames.
Apov
He halts in his way. As soon as I asked this question, his face turns pale.
I slip off the barstool, "Christian, what aren't you telling?"
Mr. Taylor by the stairs has this blank look, staring right ahead and for a quarter of a second I sensed him go stiff.
I focus my eyes back at Christian and see he has regain his calm countenance.
"Anastasia--"
"No, Christian. You have to tell me! Who is Jane Hills? Why are you looking into her past, present, future...whatever? Why? Why is she important?"
"Anastasia, listen to me--"
"No, you listen to me Christian! You have tell me, you cannot keep me in dark. This Jane--"
"Anastasia stop!" His voice slays mine. He rubs his hands over his face and moves towards me. " There's nothing for you to know."
"Of course, there is! It...its..." I stop and take a deep breath, then look up at him, standing few distance away from me, with a scowl."You know what the funny thing is? We are not even married."
On my saying, he looks taken aback. Yeah! Good for him. Its a truth.
"What? Isn't it the truth? I mean, what happened that day? You just slipped a ring on my finger and nothing! Nothing! No vows, ceremony. Nothing!"
"If you care so much about a ceremo--"
"Oh, no! Just stop! I cannot belive I could be such a fool. So freaking dumb. I mean you literary blackmailed me into agreeing with your terms. But on what basis? Just for a doctor! Who will treat my sister! I mean...oh, christ, this is so annoying." I pull onto my hair, my eyes pooling with heavy tears.
"Anastasia..."
"No! This person..." I point to the folder on the bar, "is dead! You do whatever you want with it. Look into her past, see her present or make her future. I bloody don't care! I just want to know 'why'? Why since the day I got here you have been, like, keeping everything from me. Do I know about you, anything? No! I don't. You have this background check on me, know about everything. And you yourself, no, you don't confide! I know this all is absurd. Doesn't make sense. But I want to know, okay! You haven't told me anything Christian! There's more, I know..." Closing the distance between us I put my hands on his chest, "tell me more. Please."
He places his hands over mine, his eyes soo gleam. "Ana...I...I-I..."
"Can't." I finish his unspoken words.
"Ana..."
"No," Stepping away from him I shake my head, "you can't," I mutter to myself.
"Ana..." He reaches to me but I step back.
"No! You can't," I wisper and after a short pause almost scream, "because you won't! Beause you don't want to!!"
"Ana..."
"No! Christian when you do want to, I'll be there to listen. But now, now...just-just don't! Don't!"
And before he can say anything I run out of the living room and into the elevator with his voice crying my name and dissolving with the increasing distances.
*
I shouldn't have come here, but I don't know what got into me. I walked the streets of Seattle the entire evening in daze and when regain my senses found myself in front of his residence.
Ed has been staying in a blanched house near the sound with glass screening half the structures. The curtains are up I could see the elegant living room of purple velvet, french style staircase in the middle of the room and a hearth relinquishing its fire.
I ring the door bell once more and see Ed racing down the stairs, within seconds he has open doors, his face breaking in what can be describe as utter contentment.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Please...come." He holds the door open for me and I step inside.
As he clicks the door shut I turn to face him, strained already by the wine and two glasses on the table.
Nervously I play with the edge of my dress, "I-I I'm...sorry.. I-I should probably go..." I almost walk past him but me grabs my arm.
"No." There is panic in voice and eyes gloomy.
"Ed..." I eye the wine, which I didn't notice before, "You were probably expecting someone..."
"Yes. You." His anwer his so abrupt and with much emotion I feel overwhelm.
I sigh. "Ed."
His next move is almost shocking, he embraces me in his arms. "You have come Ana."
"Ed, please."
Few moments later, hesitantly he realeases me.
"I don't know why I came." I shake my head, distangle.
He watches me for a moment then takes my hand. "Come."
He sits beside me on the couch and offers me a glass of wine but I refuse, I can rebuke at his so high-expectant gesture, but, honestly, I really don't know what to say, hence, I stare ahead, at the hearth, almost dead now.
I don't how many hours or days elapsed, which it felt like, I feel Ed brushing away my tears. "Ana...what happened?"
He takes my face in his hands and urges me to speak and I sob, harder.
"Its.. him..." My voice breaking. "I-I ddon't...kn-know what..."
"Hey hey hey." Putting his hand around me he holds me tight.
"He's doesn't care... I can't do this anymore...Ed," I look up at him, my vision blury, "...he never tells me anything...he...I can't...I don't know...anymore..."
"Shhhh. I'm here." I clash against him and sob on his chest.
Slowly, very slowly, as my breathing returns to normal I tell him about Christians ultimatums of our marriage, I feel his body getting tense on the mention of Alice's illness. He still cares.
Moments later he cups my face and gazes straight into my eyes. "Ana, I'm here. It will fine."
I'm surprise for being mesmerized by his evergreen eyes, still.
"Strange isn't?" He asks.
"What?" I wisper.
"How can you be desperately in love with someone even when you haven't spoken to or even seen them for years. I think it's incredible how despite the distances between two people, you'll never stop loving them. That's just how love works I suppose, you either love them forever or you never loved them to begin with. Love doesn't leave just because the person does."
"Ed..." I try to look away from him, from his eyes full of lost love but he pulls me closer making a beeline eye contact.
"Let me have this moment please. Please, let me look at you."
Between his pleading stare I abate the wisp of distance between us as he finds my lips and I his, and let myself devour him bequeathing myself to him.
*
I opne my eyes the moment I feel his grip tighten around my waist.
My naked back touching in bare front.
I literally groan on the present situation.
Very smoothly loosening his grip I turn over and gaze at his ashen face. Asleep.
What the fuck have I done!!
Ed seems to sense my befuddlement and open his eyes. Was he awake all the while?
His mouth spilts in a tiny smile and though, morosely, I say, "I have to go."
"Stay." Its so easy for him to say that, isn't it?
A tears slids from my eyes. "I'm married."
"Stay."
"Ed, please."
He appears to impasse for he quietens and stares at me.
"We almost loved once..." He says, shuddering, "It was our eyes meeting from across a crowded room and you helping me with tricky chemistry problem and grinning when I got it right and feeling electrified every time our bodies brushed against each other." He stops for breath and continues, "Almost love is worst. Its full of what-ifs and I-wishes. When you know it could've worked under different circumstances, it tears you apart." He brushes my hair away form my face. "Almost love hurts. But if anyone could be my almost-lover. I'm glad it was you."
This time I let my tears flow, "Almost is an understatement."
He nods, half choking half chuckling, "It is."
"It was love."
"Yeah."
"Then, why bother such a long speech?"
"Heard it somewhere." I laugh at his blandness then chok a sob.
"Don't go Ana."
"Ed...we were never meant for each other. But I'm glad that even for a sheer moment it felt like we were."
This time he doesn't reply just gazes at me, probably understanding the truth in my eyes.
I finaly look away, at the ceiling, the sea waves from the window with morning sunlight singing on it and think what I have done.
I've cheated on Christian.
*
Yes! Anastasia is a CHEATER.
She have cheated on Christian.
You see, I've read many 'cheating' stories and its always Christian. Why? Why always men?
Thank you for reading.
Beverly(Terrible Writer)