Book Three, Part Thirteen: Men

Meredith's Point of View

"You want to go with Addison this weekend, shopping?" I asked, or rather, repeated what Mia had just said.

"Yeah. I think it would be good to get to know her. She is a big part of Dad's life." She said, biting her lip in a move reminiscent of me.

"By shopping with her?" I asked.

"Yes, Mom. We will go to stores and buy things. Shopping." She said and then smiled at me.

"Oh." I blew out a breath. "Okay." I faked a smile.

"Mom, it's just shopping. You are still my number one." She assured me.

I smiled at her. How did that kid always know what I was thinking?

"Okay. You need to go back to work young lady." I said sternly.

She rolled her eyes at me.

"Yes, Mother." She said sighing.

She threw another smile at me as she took her leave.

"She is amazing."

I stiffened.

"I know." I said.

"Can we talk?"

I sighed and turned around to look at him. I hadn't seen him since the day he found out about Mia.

"About?" I asked, feigning disinterest.

"Us." He said.

"Oh, well, then there is no need. There is no us." I said.

"That is where you are wrong. In order for there to be Mia, there had to have been an us. Now can we please take this into a more private place?" He pleaded.

I looked around and saw people staring.

"Fine." I grumbled.

I led him into a nearby conference room. Funny enough, it was the same room I broke the news of him being a father. Once in, I whirled around to face him.

"What is it?" I asked, annoyed.

He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. He sat down and let out a breath.

"Hear me out before you say anything, ok?" He asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I may have crossed my arms over my chest, and I may or may not have tapped my foot impatiently. Only thing left for me to do was to throw myself down onto the floor kicking and screaming. That would complete my foray into being a five-year-old.

"Speak." I ordered.

"I am not a dog." He replied.

"Could've fooled me." I muttered.

"You know why I left. I know you know. So, what is with the attitude?" He asked.

"What? You thought that your mom telling me that you had done it for my own protection and because she guilt tripped your ass that it would change anything?" I asked. The look on his face confirmed that he had thought just that.

I plopped down into the chair opposite him.

"It doesn't change the fact that you left." I said quietly. "You didn't trust me to make my own decisions therefore robbing you of fifteen years with Mia."

He hung his head down and stared at his entwined hands.

"It robbed me of much more than that." He admitted. "You were my…everything. The sun rose and set on you and you alone. Just the thought of something happening to you…" He trailed off and looked away from me.

"Something did happen to me. Something big, something wonderful and you weren't there to share it. Do you have any idea how scared I was?" I asked.

"Believe it or not, I do. What if the one person you loved more than life was threatened? Can you imagine how that would feel? I was scared but in a different way."

I nodded.

"She adores you." I said.

He smiled.

"I adore her. She is…" He trailed off.

"Everything." I finished for him.

He looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah. Everything."

"You destroyed me." I looked him straight in the eye. "You made me question my value, myself worth. No one should ever have to do that. I can understand your reasoning behind your decision, but I can't forgive you that. Not yet. We can be civil, friendly even, for Mia but as far as I am concerned, we are in the past and we should stay that way." I said firmly.

I could see him thinking about that.

"So you aren't going to run over me in the parking lot?" He asked.

"Not today." I said.

"Fair enough." He said.

"I think that it might be a good idea for all of us involved to have dinner one night. Air out any grievances." I suggested.

Derek looked surprised. Not as surprised as Mark was going to be…

"That is very adult of you. You don't have to do that."

"I am an adult Derek. I was forced to grow up when I was eighteen. I am not doing this for you, for Mark, for your wife…I am doing this for Mia. She is what matters in this whole situation. She is the only thing that matters." I said.

"Understood and agreed." He said.

"Ok. Was there anything else?" I asked.

"One more thing. And you can say no, just don't throw anything at me. It is just a question." He said.

"This is going to piss me off." I stated.

"Probably but if I don't ask, my mother will skin me alive." He said.

"Ooh, a man still scared of his mommy…" I teased.

"Do you need any help with Mia, financially speaking?" He asked.

"Does she look like she wants for anything?" I asked.

He held up his hands in defense.

"No, she doesn't. I wasn't implying you couldn't or wasn't taking care of her. I just wanted to contribute. I have missed so much and that is my fault, but I just wanted to do something." He explained.

I calmed down.

"No, she needs nothing. The only thing I couldn't give her was you and you are here now. You can start her a savings account to implement the one I have for her. College is expensive and while I am sure she will get a scholarship; dorm life is lacking these days." I suggested.

"Would you object if I give her a credit card that I put money on every month along with that? I mean I have more money than I know what to do with and she is my daughter…"

"That is up to you and your wife." I said. "But, no, I wouldn't object to it."

"Thanks." He grinned and my heart stuttered helplessly. He looked so much like the boy I used to know just then.

"You're welcome." Neither one of us said anything for a moment. "Well, I should get back to work. You talk to your wife and I will talk to Mark and we will get together with a day and time." I said, scooting my chair back to get up.

"Will do." He said.

I looked at him for a minute, a long minute, and he looked at me expectantly, but I didn't know what I wanted to say…or I did but I couldn't bring myself to do so…

So I just shook my head and squared my shoulders and walked out of the room.

Because after all that had passed between us, all the progress that we were now making, I still couldn't tell him…

That I missed him.

"How is my baby girl?"

I looked up from my lunch and smiled before launching myself into my father's arms.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" I asked.

Dad and Susan rarely came up to the hospital anymore since Susan had retired as the Chief's assistant.

"Can't a father come see his favorite biological daughter and granddaughter?" He asked.

"I am your only biological daughter and Mia is your only biological granddaughter." I reminded him.

"I know." He winked.

He settled himself next to me and stole a tomato from my salad.

"Get your own." I complained mockingly.

"I hate hospital food." He said.

I rolled my eyes.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"I had to get some tests run." He said.

I stopped smiling.

"Are you okay? Is it serious? What did the doctor say? Who is your doctor?" I spat questions out at him at warp speed.

"I am fine, no it is not, I have hypertension and high cholesterol, and Dr. Evans." He answered.

"You should be eating healthier." I admonished.

"Oh don't worry about that. I am on a taste free diet courtesy of your stepmother." He said wryly.

"I knew I liked her." I teased.

"So what is new with you?" He asked.

That was a loaded question.

"Nothing much." I said. "Mia is doing great. She is working here more than originally planned, but Mark is happy because it keeps her from Jacob." I laughed lightly. "Everything is great here. My professional life is taking off while my personal life stays grounded and…"

"Is that Derek Shepherd?" My father interrupted me.

Oh shit. So much for lying.

I chanced a look over to where my dad was looking.

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot to tell you. Derek moved back and Mia…"

My dad looked at me then and his face was thunderous. I cringed. I was in trouble.

"How long has that boy been back?" He asked.

"Um…a few weeks." I told him.

"Does he know?" He asked.

"That he is back?" I asked, buying time.

"Don't be cute with me young lady."

"Yes he knows." I sighed.

"Does Mia know?"

"Yes."

He closed his eyes and I could tell he was counting to ten…then twenty…then thirty before giving it up completely.

"Did you not think it might be nice for you to pick up the phone and call me and tell me that the guy that impregnated my daughter had waltzed back in after fifteen god damned years to play daddy?" He fumed.

"Please keep your voice down." I pleaded. "We have kept this kind of quiet which is unusual for Seattle Grace and Mia is happy. She saw him before I could tell her and then she asked me to tell him and I did. Because it made her happy. He makes her happy." I told him.

"So you are just going to let him back in?" He asked, shaking his head.

"What?"

"He hurt you Meredith. He obliterated your heart, your dreams. I can't believe he gets off scot free."

"He isn't. He had his reasons for leaving which I know now. Doesn't mean I agree with them. Mia wants him in her life. Besides he is married to the red head." I said, indicating Derek's wife with my fork.

"Okay. But if he steps out of line one time, I am on him like white on rice." He warned me.

"Okay, Dad." I placated him.

Then I looked at Derek before looking back at my dad before coming to the conclusion...

Men were nothing but little boys in men's clothing sometimes.