Chapter 33: Arabella Grace

"This doesn't happen." Meredith muttered as she marched alongside a patients bed while they wheeled him to ICU "Not to me. I don't lose patients on the table."

"It happens to everyone Dr. Grey." A resident spoke up "It's life."

"It's not my life!" she shot back "People don't die on me."

"If it's their time, it's their time. It's what God wants."

"I AM GOD!" she yelled "And I say no one dies under my hands."

They wheeled him into the ICU room and the nurses took over in hooking him up to the machines. Meredith stood in the doorway as the Resident tried to slip by.

"Where are you going?"

"Um."

"Nowhere." Meredith muttered "You are going to stay here and watch him like a hawk! When he breathes, you breathe. You will stay at his bedside until he opens his pretty brown eyes, and if you leave or if he dies, you'll be looking for a new job in the morning, got it Dr. Peterson?"

"I um." She stuttered "Yes Dr. Grey."

Meredith nodded stiffly before turning around and walking up to the nurses station. She was trying to work on her people skills, but her patients mattered more. And losing them was not something that she did often. She knew that life called sometimes but not on her watch. She dropped the chart on the countertop and rubbed her eyes.

"Hey."

She looked up and softly glared with a sigh.

"What."

"Not in a good mood? After such an intriguing surgery?"

"My patient coded three times on the table and is on the verge of a fourth."

Derek's face dropped. He knew that Meredith didn't like losing patients, she took it more personal than most doctors.

"I'm sorry."

"He's alive for now." She sighed "What do you need?"

"Um. Interesting morning for me."

"That's great, good for you."

"Your daughter is here."

"God." She muttered and shook her head "You really don't know when to stop do you! I tell you no kids and you just push and push and push.."

"Meredith." He said in a more serious tone "Your daughter is here."

"What are you talking about." She frowned "I don't have a…."

"No!" they heard behind them and turned to see a skinny girl with unruly blonde hair looking pissed off "No that's not her! She's a janitor or a maid or something, she gave me up because she couldn't take care of me, not because she didn't want me! No she's not a doctor!"

Derek opened his mouth to call after her but she turned and darted down the hall. He turned to Meredith's numb shocked expression.

"Mer?"

"My daughter is here." She whispered.

"Yes." He said, "And you should probably go talk to her."

Meredith gulped, she heard her pager shriek and snapped out of her trance to look at it. She felt her head cloud with confusion and worry. She looked at Derek with a pleading and remorseful expression.

"I can't." she whispered as tears started to brim her eyes, she held up her pager "I…I just can't."

Derek sighed heavily as he saw her jog off down the hallway. He turned to head to where the little girl had run to. He found her around the corner, leaning up against the wall crying. He gulped and lifted her to her feet by her arms then opened a door to a conference room and ushered her in.

"Shhh!" he soothed her "I know that didn't go well but no tears."

"I can't help it." She muttered "I can't believe she's a doctor! I'm just so mad!"

"Why does that make you mad?"

"Because she could have kept me, she could have taken care of me and she didn't! She just didn't want me."

"That's not true." Derek said handing her a tissue "She just couldn't take care of you at the time you were born. Nine years ago, she was an intern and wasn't making hardly anything at all."

"How do you know?"

"Because." He gulped "Your mother…well she's my best friend. And now she's my wife."

"Oh." She widened her eyes and scanned his appearance "Are you my dad?"

"No." he mumbled "But if she was able to keep you, I would be the closest thing to it." He smiled and brushed a strand behind her ear "I was the first to hold you."

"You were?"

"Yes." He smiled "I was there for your mom. And it was very hard for her to give you up. But she didn't think she could take care of you, so she made the difficult decision to give you to someone who could take care of you. It was very self-sacrificial of her. You should know that she loved you." She sniffled but pressed her lips together "What's your name?"

"Arabella Grace Rykert."

Derek smiled "Your mom was going to name you Arabella, if she was going to keep you."

"I always knew I hated my name." she muttered "I go by Bella or Grace."

"Bella." Derek sighed "This isn't easy for either of you."

"I hate her."

"You don't know her."

"So." She shrugged "I still hate her."

"You know…when I was a kid. We had this mailman, and he was creepy. He never smiled and he looked kind of mean. So, my friends and I would always make fun of him. But then one day, when I was home alone, he came to the door with a package. And I learned that his name was Ernie, he was 47 years old and retiring the next year. He had three children and six grandchildren. And he was born with partial paralysis to his face…giving him the ability to not be able to smile."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you shouldn't hate people before you get to know them." He answered "We're all people. And people are human. Get to know your mom first, then you can hate her. I think you'll be surprised at how much you have in common with her."

"Right." She scoffed "What could I possibly have in common with her?"

"This hair." He smirked "Your mom always had unruly blonde hair. The color of your eyes is hers, your very petite frame, just like hers. And that spitfire temper of yours…. it's exactly like hers."

She twisted her lips together in thought and then let out a soft sigh.

"Derek?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Thanks for bringing me in here… I hate crying in public."

Derek smiled. "I know."

Well, what do y'all think?