HEY GUYS SO...

I'm rewriting this story, leaving this one and the start of its sequel up simply for comparison!

This story is really old and I don't know if any of my original fans are still here... but if you'd like to check out the rewrite, the link is below!

s/13487649/1/Who-If-I-Cried-Out-REWRITE

Since this can't be just an author's note, here are a couple little previews from the first chapter of the rewrite! If you'd like, please go give me some feedback over there so I can tell this story the way it deserves to be told!

PREVIEWS...

This time, an eyebrow raises, and the look Jean fixes her with is absolutely withering. "You've been here for five years, and you still don't think any of us like you? We love you." Her tone loses its sharp edge, using her powers to affectionately lift a part of Cadence's hair up. "Listen. I know this has been an adjustment, and you're probably still not used to this place yet. But you can't stay locked up in your room. People have been trying to talk to you, but you won't open the door for anyone else."

"Why should I?" Cadence mumbles. The look on her face, although it doesn't leave, changes. She looks so sad that Jean wants to just pull her into a big hug and make everything okay. "All people do is hurt you. They want you to open the door so they can get inside you and fuck you up."

"Cadence―"

"Am I wrong?!" A book flies off the table that's sitting near a set of doors they've finally approached. Not only does it hit the ground, it thumps angrily against the wall before doing so. "I don't want to let people do that to me, Jean. Everything inside me's already been fucked up, but people would find a way to wreck me more if I let them in. Why do you want me to do that to myself again?"

She doesn't even look up toward him. Her whole frame is being held rigidly, and there was tears in her eyes that look as if she's trying not to let them spill over. It looks and feels like she's numb. "Kurt." It's barely a whisper. "Do you think I'm a bad person? I did something bad. That's why we're back early. Because I'm bad."

"… Bad?" He leans forward slightly, tilting his head. He knows she's not a saint, of course. Most people aren't. Even he isn't. He knows she still doesn't have her temper under control as much as she wants. He knows she's made mistakes and done some less than savory things. That doesn't mean she's… what is she talking about? "What do you mean, mein Freund?"

"This is Akira." She gestures toward the child who's sleeping against her, and her hand lifts to stroke over his hair. "I hurt his parents. And they told me to take him. They didn't want him. He's like us."

Kurt frowns, setting his eyes on the boy for a moment, then back toward Cadence's face. The child can't be more than five years old. Why would his parents just send him off with a stranger? Why did Cadence hurt them? What in the world happened? There are so many pieces missing here. "You hurt them?" is what he decides to start with.

Her face hardens. "They were hurting him. So I thought it was only fair. All I could see was red, and I… I shouldn't have done it."

Her fists splash in the water as limbs are ripped off the surrounding trees. Leaves whirl around her. Branches are tossed onto the ground so hard they stick in the dirt. Huge rocks from the stream slam into a tree trunk with enough force to cleave the bark away. The water sloshes over the stream's banks and mixes with the dirt to make mud.

And she yells at the sky. "It should have been me! Why did they have to die?! Jean and the Professor were a million times better THAN I'LL EVER BE! WHY?! WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IN A GOD WHO WOULD LET THIS HAPPEN?!"

The bark peels away from the tree that was already attacked. More branches snap off more trees. Pebbles from the water shoot up only to bury themselves in the ground. She's so wrapped up inside her anger that she doesn't realize she's manipulated the water to wrap around herself, and it's climbing its way dangerously up to her neck.

Before it reaches her mouth, there's suddenly a rustle that wasn't created by her, followed by a shout: "CADY!"

Even among the chaos, here is her friend come to find her because he saw that she was missing. Though clearly afraid, Kurt braves everything anyway, running toward her. "Stop! Cadence, please stop! Look what you're doing! You're going to hurt yourse―AAH!"

A handful of the pebbles from the river interrupt him by pelting his face all at once. Despite the pain, all he gives is a small hiss as he covers the cut they made with one hand. His friend needs help. He can't just leave her here.

What he got was a little scrape; if he can't get her powers to stop, she's going to kill herself in her grief.

"Dämon! Is that you?" Before she can choose exactly where she wants to go, a familiar voice meets her ears. An arm is immediately around her shoulders, a touch she leans into.

She musters up as much of a smile as she can. "Hey, Kurt. How are things?"

He smiles back, clearly very happy to see her. "Gut, gut. Are you doing okay? Going to get some lunch?"

"Well… we could do that. Actually…" She shrugs. "I just kind of… thought it was time I rejoined the world of the living. You know? Figured I should get out a little."

"Oh ― it's going to be great to have you out here again, Cadence." His tail flicks a bit as the wheels in his head turn. "There are many new arrivals I don't think you have met! We can start slow, though. Maybe we will visit Akira after lunch?"

"Yeah, maybe." She starts walking, prompting Kurt to follow her. "It really has been too long."