Chapter 50: Naughty & Nice
It's the holiday season and since Jake was so NAUGHTY as a young adult, he now is trying to be NICE to make up for it.
Although the gymnasium that the fox was working out in was much nicer than the one down at the police station, still it was unsurprisingly much more modest then the upscale fitness center which his best friend Jake Runnel had first joined. This was no highly pretentious showcase chrome and steel building, where the upper class patrons would wrinkle their snouts in poorly concealed disgust with their having to share their precious "facilities" with prey animals and a fox at that! In fact, although the raccoon was somewhat tolerated by that club's members, the management had expressed their "concerns" about Nick attending periodically as a guest and especially his using the spa. Jake took this in his usual stride, not wanting to alienate any potential clients who were members, and instead joined another gymnasium while keeping his membership active with the other. He did however, find that the new more modest and inclusive gymnasium was a more accommodating place to work out, even if its gear was not the latest and trendiest available.
Nick looked over at his best friend and the raccoon was stripped down to his gym shorts as he lifted some weights. Jake was lean, with a gymnast's muscular physique and he kept his gray and dark gray, almost black, fur trimmed fashionably short. The fox gave a slight frown at the barely visible scars which still showed under Jake's light gray stomach and chest fur, reminders of that terrible night months ago when raccoon was almost killed by a mercenary named Renaldo Le Pew. Although Jake was trained in the Red Panda style martial arts, the knife welding skunk slashed his way through the raccoon's defenses and after stabbing Jake in the stomach, was going to slit his throat. It was only the intervention of a mysterious agent named Jack Savage which had saved him and Le Pew died instead on that early predawn morning, while the raccoon barely lived to see another day. Jake was left with both the physical and emotional scars from their encounter. But time heals and after his marriage to Marie, along with his friends support and that of a good psychiatrist, he seemed to be back on the road to being his usual self.
"So Detective Oates got that weasel Dribs to confess to vandalizing the Museum of Natural History?" Jake huffed out as he lifted the weights. "What does Le Rouge have to do with that crime? He's a master burglar and that just isn't his style."
"We've connected him with the crime," Nick answered as he leaned back and rested on the exercise bike. "I don't think that red panda likes you very much buddy."
"I'm not surprised, after all my company now handles some of his favorite targets and so far he hasn't succeeded into breaking into any of those businesses or mansions. He's been calling me a traitor for leaving a career in burglary to become a security specialist, after all I was once considered his greatest rival."
"I don't think he ever thought of you as his rival," Nick scoffed. "Face it coon, you may be talented but your reputation was rather lackluster at best."
"Okay, I'll admit I wasn't the most notorious burglar out there! Still I did break into some really complex…well, one of these days I will have to tell you all about them, but you will have to wait until after the statutes of limitations for Grand Larceny and Theft have expired."
Nick just rolled his eyes at the raccoon's comments. He knew the Jake didn't want to burden him with knowledge of any crimes he had committed since they were unsolved and although not active, were still under investigation.
After their workout was finished and they had showered, the raccoon dragged the fox along with him to the bank, where he withdrew a sack of money, mostly twenties. "You know you aren't fooling anyone when you do that, so why don't you just write a check?" he asked Jake.
They stood in front of a small urban church, with its aging weathered gray stone facade. This wasn't a grand cathedral like the one only several blocks away and you didn't find the city's wealthy or socially connected coming here on Sundays. Instead, it was modest place and a sanctuary for the working class and the poor, for those who were in need of spiritual guidance and practical care. The church was a place that Jake was familiar with, because he had been here several times during his life. For him, it was his "port from the storms" during his earlier life as the priest who served here called it. This was the place where Nick had reunited Jake and Marie after they had broken up when dating.
"It's like a game between me and the priest," Jake chuckled. "I try to sneak into the narthex and stuff the poor box with cash without being caught." The raccoon stealthy slipped behind the stout oak door and after a few minutes reappeared with a package in his paws.
"He caught you?"
"Yep and he gave me this!" Jake held up a tin with a fruitcake in it. "One of the ladies staffing the food bank made this for me. She said it was nice of me to give to the church all year long and not just during the holidays."
"So why is she punishing you?"
"What? She's not punishing me! Oh, so you don't like fruitcake? It just so happens that we raccoons love this stuff."
"I never could account for your culinary tastes," Nick chuckled. "You even like Mrs. Big's Surströmming."
"Yeah, I had to give up eating it though. Marie refuses to kiss me afterwards and she says the fermented herring smells both putrid and disgusting. Actually, she said it stinks to the high heavens above."
"No amount of mouth wash will cover up that smell. It stench is almost as bad as that Durian fruit we saw in a market over in Little Amir and that smelled like something died."
"So say the fox who likes Limburger cheese with red onions,"Jake scoffed as he picked a chunk of the cake and popped it into his mouth. "This cake tastes so good, are you sure you don't want a bite Nick?"
"No thank you!" the fox laughed.
Jake hesitated as he looked down at his watch. "Dude, we've got to hurry," he called out as he began to jog down the sidewalk towards a distant park.
"Where's the fire?" Nick yelled back as he ran after the raccoon.
"I've got to get over to my office in time to sign the bonus checks to give out to the employees at the company party tonight. Gods know what might happen if they don't get delivered? Remember that crazy warthog who kitnapped Frank Shirley a few years ago over his replacing his employees bonuses with memberships to the Jelly of the Month Club? I recall that he hog tied Shirley and delivered him to his brother-in-law's house tied in a red ribbon!"
"The Griswood case? Judy and I weren't assigned to that one. Hey, I thought your partner Jimmy Ratzolli kept your books, so why doesn't he just sign the checks?"
"My name is on the sign over the door and Jimmy thinks that would be nice if I signed the checks instead of him."
It was later that night when Jake and Marie returned to the hotel suite where they lived. "Ya'll threw a really nice party tonight for everyone at your company," she commented. "Who knew that they could make a strip joint look so festive inside? Covering the dance poles so they looked like large candy canes was, well let just say, it was interesting and thank you for making sure that everyone kept their clothes on."
"You know those who work for me aren't saints, most of us have criminal records and are looking for second chance in life," Jake chuckled. "Having a party at the Ritz Hotel or even here at our hotel would have been socially awkward at best since we mostly come from what they call the wrong side of the tracks."
Jake watched as she walked into the kitchen and rummaged in the refrigerator. He looked in confusion when she pulled out a spray can of whipped cream. "What are you up to?" he finally asked her as she passed by him and gave him a little wag of her tail.
"Sugar, Nick said that ya'll been nice all day," she giggled as she dropped her chic black silk dress into a puddle at her feet and winked at him. "So I just figured that tonight you might want to be a little naughty as a reward?"
With a grin, he chased his wife into their bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
Dribs and Le Rouge are from the game Zootopia: Crime Files.
The Griswood case is Zootopia's version of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Could you imagine Chief Bogo having to deal with Cousin Eddie and Clark Griswold?