Chapter 49 - A Slap to the Face

Louis and Haru approached the door to Legosi and Louis' home, the deer carrying bags full of ingredients for the cake in his hands. "I forgot if you've been here before. I don't believe so, right?"

"Nope!" Haru shook her head. Louis knocked their secret knock. "Well, not inside."

Legosi looked up from his game. He was sitting on the bed, homework strewn around him. He had been doing the work, but eventually caved and booted up the RPG he had been playing recently.

Yeah, that was Louis' knock. He must have not brought his key with him. He paused the game, getting up and opening the door.

There, Louis was standing next to Haru, who waved at the wolf. "Hello, Legosi-kun!"

Louis looked at him and smiled, just seeing his boyfriend standing there.

"Ah!" Legosi smiled, seeing his two favorite herbivores. "Hello, Haru-chan!" He turned to Louis. "You didn't tell me she was visiting today. I made a bit of a mess in there with my schoolwork..."

Louis peeked behind him. "What were you up to?"

Legosi looked behind him at the papers and binders on the bed. "Uh, algebra."

"But the game is on?"

Haru laughed.

Legosi's ears drooped and he rubbed the back of his head, chuckling. "Well...yeah." He had been caught in the act.

The deer came in. "Did you get any of it done?"

"...A little bit."

Haru shook her head. "Looks like Legosi-kun got distracted."

The canine looked to the side, a bit ashamed. "Well, I was just staring at the problems, so I figured I wasn't getting work done anyway..." Legosi had been having trouble focusing in his classes since the other day with Louis when they got...pretty intimate.

Louis scratched his cheek after putting the ingredients down on the counter. "I could have helped you."

Haru immediately went and sat on the couch. "Aw, you help with his homework?"

"I didn't want to bother you, since you've been helping me so much, lately...but you should probably help me with this later." Legosi started gathering the papers up, tucking them into the binder.

Louis nodded. "Later." Truth was, he couldn't get the other day out of his head. The feeling, the ecstasy, how he ran away...Wanting to be eaten...

Haru looked at them both. "So what happened the other day?"

Louis froze. Right. That's what they were here to talk about.

Legosi also froze, holding the binder. He looked at Louis.

"Legosi, you say it! I have cooking to do!" the deer exclaimed. He looked down and began taking the ingredients out of the bags.

Legosi glanced around. He had a feeling he knew what she was talking about, but he wanted to exhaust any other possibility first. "Uh...hmm...the other day..." He shot his index finger up. "Oh, Louis made some really good apple pie!"

Louis blinked. "Uh, yeah, that did happen. We ran out though, thanks to Legosi."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn't know we'd be having company..." Legosi sat back down and unpaused his game after putting the binder back in his backpack.

Louis continued pulling ingredients out. "What else happened that day, Legosi?"

"Well, I taught you how to play video games and then I learned that you played unfairly by smacking the controller out of my hands." He gave Louis a mock dirty look after saying that.

Louis smiled. "Anything else dirty happen?"

Legosi gulped. The character on screen walked in circles. "It wasn't dirty..." he mumbled quietly.

The deer looked back. "Oh?"

Legosi put the controller down and pulled his knees up, hiding his face in between his legs.

The bunny had been watching them go back and forth. It was clear they were avoiding the conversation. "Spit it out, you two."

The wolf pulled his face out and looked at her. "What do you want me to say?"

Haru crossed her arms. "What happened between you two."

Legosi covered his face, muffling his voice a bit. "Louis and I...touched each other a lot and it felt really good but then Louis had to stop because his instincts wanted me to eat him..."

She sat back. "So I heard."

Legosi looked at Louis, dumbfounded. "If he already told you, then why ask me?"

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"I...I don't think so?"

Louis came over. "I still don't really understand what happened. Why did I feel that way? I already know Legosi would never do such a thing..."

Haru looked at them. "I've never been with a carnivore, but we can figure this out."

"I tried to Zoozle it the day after, but all I got were some...really hardcore porn results." Legosi shook his head, trying to get the images out of it.

Louis and Haru laughed.

"Legosi doesn't strike me as a porn guy," Haru said.

"You're right!" Legosi piped up. He had noticed that Louis had laughed around Haru, which means he was comfortable with her. That was good, at least.

Louis looked at her. "He wants more physical affection than that."

"Louis said we could do something like that again but go slower and I'd do whatever he says to make himself comfortable. We haven't tried it yet, though..."

Haru nodded, taking her shoes off and pulling her legs up. "I can see why. Something like that must have scared both of you."

Legosi nodded. The truth was he was actually a bit impatient and wanted to do that with Louis again, but he didn't want to rush him. Just talking about it again was stirring him up.

Louis sighed. "It did."

Haru nodded. "Did you do anything to try and get eaten? I remember saying you weren't sure if you would have, but did you?"

Legosi looked at his mate. "I don't...think you did...?"

Louis shook his head. "I had the urge to."

Haru frowned. "Being a herbivore sucks."

Legosi held his hands up, waving them back and forth. "Oh, but herbivores are so beautiful and smart and create very close bonds! Don't say that about yourselves!"

"Carnivores are better," they both said.

"No!" Legosi moved to his knees, balling his fists in front of him and puffing out his cheeks.

"I wish I was born a carnivore," Louis said.

His boyfriend's face was unreadable. A look of sadness, shock, and maybe offense? He got up from the bed, going to his lover and embracing him in an instant. "Don't say that! I love you exactly how you are! Because of who you are!"

Haru smiled and tilted her head. "Legosi, you're really upset about this!"

Louis blinked. "Being an herbivore has caused me so many problems. If I was a carnivore I would have never gotten kidnapped in the first place."

"Herbivores don't have to constantly fear the fact that they could kill their friends in the blink of an eye! They don't have to hold back their strength in fear of hurting others around them!" Legosi squeezed Louis tighter. "I love herbivores! They're all such important animals! Carnivores are the ones that have caused you so much suffering!"

"What? That's not true."

"It is!"

Haru shook her head. "But as herbivores, we're always a step from death!"

"Because of carnivores!" Legosi shouted.

Louis nodded. "True, we could die at any moment."

Legosi buried his face in the crook of his deer's neck. "Stop! Please..."

Louis blinked. "Hey, calm down. What's wrong? It's only facts."

Haru made a face. "Sorry, Legosi-kun."

The wolf loosened his grip slightly. He didn't know why, but thinking of Louis being any other species, especially a carnivore, upset him greatly. "It might be true, but that doesn't mean herbivores shouldn't exist. It just means that carnivores need to protect them."

"That puts a lot of responsibility on the carnivores," Louis said.

"That could make a lot them upset if they were forced to protect us," Haru commented.

"I...the..." Legosi drooped, letting go of Louis and plopping down on the couch. "I don't know...I don't know how society should work. I just know...I love herbivores...and especially you, Louis. You're...really attractive as you are..."

"I often think being a carnivore or dead would be better." He looked down, going back into the kitchen to start the carrot cake.

Haru made a worried expression. "You've mentioned that to me before..."

Legosi took a deep intake of breath. He didn't know what to say. Louis was just a brick wall sometimes. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He wished Louis could see himself the way he saw him. He grabbed the material of his pants with his fingers, squeezing them into fists.

Haru came over. "Louis...Don't say things like that."

"I'm just a weakling. I tell myself I'm strong, but...We all know the truth." He felt his mood drop with each word.

Haru frowned. "That's not true."

Louis looked up. "I ran away from Legosi! I quit trying to be a Beastar! I got myself kidnapped—"

WHACK!

Haru had hopped up and slapped him.

Legosi flinched.

"What was that for?!"

"For being an idiot!" Haru huffed.

"What do you mean?!"

"All those things aren't true!"

"A weakling wouldn't have been able to do what you did back at your f...at Oguma's..." Legosi stated.

Louis rubbed his cheek. "But—"

Haru raised her hand again.

Louis shut his mouth. The deer sighed and quietly prepared the dessert.

"Louis..." Legosi didn't know what else to say. He definitely couldn't hit him like Haru did, nor did he want to. He didn't know what to say with words, either.

Louis had a pained look in his eyes as he worked. He was struggling, mentally. There were days that were so amazing, then there were times where there was this huge weight on him. Sometimes both in one day. He didn't understand it, but it frustrated him to no end.

Legosi looked down at Haru, giving her the most defeated, sad look she had ever seen.

The bunny walked into the middle of the room. "Legosi, come talk with me in the bathroom."

Legosi nodded, following the small rabbit in. He remembered how Haru told him she was afraid of him the first day they met. It was admirable how far she had come.

She shut the door. She could have talked with him outside, but then Louis wouldn't be able to hear their "private talk".

The wolf sat down on the closed toilet seat, bringing his eyes closer to her's.

She crossed her arms, her ears twitching. "What was that?"

Legosi's ears folded back. "Wh-what? What was what?" he whispered.

"You gave up!"

"I couldn't think of what to say! I don't know what Louis needs to hear, because everything I try doesn't work..."

"Because you give up, Legosi-kun!"

Legosi huffed, resting his head on his hands. "Then...what do you think I should say?"

"What would you say if you weren't afraid of how he'd react?"

Legosi thought about it. "I...I don't know, Haru-chan! I really don't." He rubbed his forehead, eyes closed. "I think he's really sick. He barely eats anymore, and talks about how he should be dead.."I thought...after we escaped from Oguma, everything would be fine. We'd live together happily and he'd be okay because we had each other..." He sniffed.

Haru put a hand on his knee. "Hey...It's going to be okay."

Legosi put his hand on top of hers. It was so small compared to his. "I...can't do this on my own."

"I know...Neither of you can."

Legosi thought to himself. Who did he go to when he needed help? Usually Jack. This seemed a bit too intense for him, though...There was Principle Gon. He might have some insight, but Legosi didn't know him all too well. There was also...grandpa.

The wolf sighed. "Haru-chan, I love him so much. I can't let anything happen to him...but I feel so weak against this."

"Do you think he would ever...?"

"I...I don't know. He said he almost jumped out of the window back at Oguma's. But, I feel like he's mostly happy here...he just gets in these mood dips." Imagining what would have become of Louis if he had committed such an action... It made him feel sick.

"Wait, he what?!"

He nodded. "Those three months were torture for him, so I can understand."

She looked down. "Okay, now I'm worried."

"Do you think Principle Gon could help?"

"Maybe, it never hurts to try." She squeezed his hand. "But on your part, you're not doing very well."

The tears returned to his eyes. He wiped them with his free hand, sniffling. She was right. He was weak. He was physically strong, but that was it. That alone could not help his love, Louis, get better.

"You need to convince him he's worth living for, even if he argues. You said he wasn't eating?"

Legosi nodded.

"When did this start?"

Legosi thought about it. "Honestly, I've never seen him eat a lot, but since we've lived together, I've noticed it more."

She put a hand on her chin. "But he likes to cook?"

He nodded again. "It's for me, I think. He likes doing something that makes me happy..."

"You're telling me he doesn't eat anything he makes?"

"He'll take a few bites. Actually, he had two slices of that pie he made the other day. That's the most I've ever seen him eat..."

"Only two slices?! Have you talked to him about his eating habits?!"

"I've tried, but he always just tells me he's fine, and I should stop worrying. He gets mad if I keep telling him he needs to eat..."

"And then what do you do?" She tilted her head. "You don't let him just...be mad, right?"

Legosi dropped his head down. "I back away. I hate when he's mad at me. It reminds me of...when he still hated me."

"And that might be why he stays mad."

"Well, he doesn't. He calms down and then we kiss and hug and stuff..."

"But he might get mad because you back away."

"I don't know. I don't want to scare him. It's very much like a carnivore for me to impose my feelings on him and overpower him..."

"This is more than that."

Legosi sighed. Haru was right. Louis' life was potentially at stake and the wolf was ultimately being selfish. He was just so scared.

Haru looked up. "You need to have a real talk with him."

Legosi nodded, swallowing. His throat hurt.

Louis didn't actually hear their conversation. It was quieter than Haru had anticipated. "Would you rather lose Louis completely or have him be mad at you for a while?"

Legosi just kept nodding. The tears had returned to his eyes.

"Don't cry..." She comforted. "Just talk to him."

"Okay." he whispered. "Can...can I have a hug, Haru-chan?"

She nodded and reached up to hug him, albeit a bit nervously. They were alone in a small room and Legosi was emotional, anything could happen.

The canine placed his large hands on her back. She was so tiny. He hoped he wasn't making her uncomfortable.

She sighed. "Please talk to him first and then you can talk to Gon."

"Okay. Do you think I should do it now?"

"Yes! But...I don't want to leave. I want carrot cake." She really just wanted to see how the talk went.

"He might not be able to finish it if I talk to him..."

"Whatever happens happens."

"Okay." Legosi let go of Haru gently and stood up, fists clenched at his sides. He strode over to the door and stopped in front of it, inhaling deeply and breathing out slowly.

Louis was mixing the batter outside, whistling.

Legosi heard this, and his ears drooped back. He seemed to be in a good mood now. He was going to go out there and ruin it. His tail went between his legs.

Haru pushed his back a bit. "Go on, Legosi-kun."

Legosi stood up straight, opening the door. Louis was in the kitchen, wearing that apron of his.

It was time for this carnivore to become untamed.