Disclaimer: As usual, all I own is this fanfic. J.K. Rowlings owns the rest, no copyright intended!

Warning: There will be some frequent profanity in this one-shot. If you're bothered by it, don't read any further.

Ch. 37

Lily Potter

Dolores was having a very, very bad day. She couldn't believe that Harry 'the brat' Potter made an utter mockery out of her by convincing the centaurs to drag her away (ignoring the fact that her insults were the reason for her predicament). The evil toad of a woman made her way back to her classroom and when she stepped into her office, she spotted someone wearing a red hoodie with the hood up. The person also had his/her feet up on the desk and hands behind the head.

"Who are you?" Umbridge demanded.

"Is that any way to treat somebody with more power than you, Umbitch?!" the hooded figure asked the toad of a woman with a sneer.

Umbridge developed an inner panic when she realized who it was, not just that the voice sounded alot like a lady's voice. The person lifted the hood back, revealed to be Lily Potter (her dark-red hair and emerald-green eyes being a clear sign, along with the Potter family ring on her right ring finger), the brat's mother. Lily had one, nasty glare aimed at Dolores (who quickly began sweating profusely). As Lily lifted her feet off the desk, she got up and walked over to the toad, grabbed her by the back of her cardigan sweater, dragged her over to a chair in front of the desk and flung her into it with everything she had. Then Lily sat back down at the toad's desk and glared at her once more as she leaned back in the chair.

"Wh-What are you gonna d-d-doooooo?!" asked Dolores, utterly terrified.

"I'll tell you what," Lily snarled. "To give you your well-deserved long-overdue comeuppance, you filthy piece of hippogriff manure! But first, I have some bloody bones to pick with you. So here goes…"

"Here goes what?" Umbridge demanded again, interrupting Lily in the process (which exacerbated the situation).

"This!" Lily snarled again, picking the toad up by her shirt again. Then she dragged Umbridge over to a door and pulled it open before pointing a finger down the seemingly endless dark hallway. "Go join your friends this instant!"

With her arms and legs trembling with utter fear, Umbridge began walking down the 'hallway.' Once her back was facing the angry red-haired woman, Lily gave Dolores a swift kick in the butt, literally. This resulted in Umbridge falling forward onto her stomach and the toad realized that it was a slide when she started sliding forward on her front. It lasted for approximately five minutes before she reached a trap door that opened when she was close enough. Upon falling in, Dolores fell and hit the stone floor with such an impact that it temporarily stunned her. Once Dolores came to, she saw Harry sitting on a nearby chair with a smirk on his face and a foot resting on a knee. Then Dolores looked around and saw Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Cornelius Fudge, Poppy Pomfrey, Minerva McGonagall and Lucius Malfoy all tied up and bound in magic-suppression rope before the toad quickly found herself facing the same fate. The seven adults were utterly terrified and sweating so much that their clothes were soaked as if they had emerged from a swimming pool or something, and Dolores quickly found herself facing the same thing.

"Oh, such a shame the seven of you have treated me like shit for the last time!" Harry responded in mock sympathy, before growling, "There won't be any mercy from me nor my mum!"

As soon as Harry mocking the eight incompetent adults before him, Lily apparated beside her son and gave him a motherly hug. As the seven adults watched the ordeal, they tried to wiggle their way out of the rope. When Lily turned her attention to them, she glared at them, and started pacing back and forth in front of them. She even had her hands behind her back, with the adults tied up developing anxious expressions on their faces. Once Lily stopped her pacing, she turned her attention to the incompetent adults before her and started doing 'eeny meeny miny moe' on each of the tied up adults before pointing to Albus, frightening the ole coot.

"Do you care to explain why you placed my son with my sister when James and I clearly specified that we didn't want him to go to her and her husband?" Lily growled at Albus (who looked as though he needed to change into a cleaner set of colourful robes).

"Lily, sweetiepie!" Albus responded in his grandfatherly voice, trying to defend his actions.

"Don't you 'Lily, sweetiepie' me, you ole coot!" Lily snapped before growling again, "Voldemort never killed me as many initially believed. I went up to get Harry's room to get him after James told me to take Harry and leave. All I could do was put Harry back in his crib and shield him. Voldemort never killed me, like I just said. Since I wouldn't step aside to let the darkest wizard kill my son, he knocked me out with a stupefy and moved me out of the way before turning his wand on Harry. I was able to figure out that I was moved aside after regaining consciousness, then I discovered that Harry was gone. After I buried James when I realized he was dead, I spent year after year after year looking for my son."

"Now, now, Lily," Albus replied in his grandfatherly voice, trying to keep his collywobbles in check with little success. "Let's not be irrational here."

"Irrational?! Really? You're going to just assume that I'm being irrational?" Lily growled once more. "Well, let's go over who is really being irrational, shall we?! During the time I spent looking for Harry, I had to do some undercover work in order to look for clues to his whereabouts, but I came up empty for the last fourteen years or so. It's all anti-thanks to you that Harry had to endure abusive treatment from my sister and brother-in-law since. Part of my undercover work included using the disillusionment spell and I even came across Harry a few days ago finally, where he was upset about you sending him back to the Dursleys as soon as the school year concluded."

"It was for Harry's safety, Lily," Dumbledore professed. "Because of…"

"Harry's safety, my bloody arse," Lily snapped, interrupting the headmaster in the process. "Since you're also the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, you had the power to get a trial for Sirius set up, but you didn't do shit in justifying that wrongdoing. Part of Harry's complaints included Sirius never getting a trial. You were just going to have him face the dementor's kiss with the rest of those bloody poor excuses of ministry workers who are corrupt supporting it."

"Come now, Lily," Dumbledore pleaded. "Let's not get carried away."

"You lost it, you manipulative, ole coot! You've messed with Harry's life, as well as my life for the last time!" Lily growled at Albus. Then she turned her attention to McGonagall (who was even more terrified to realize that it was now her turn to be ripped a new one). "You've done such a shit job as deputy headmistress, Minerva! How could you just sit back and let Harry endure such cruel and unjust treatment? Did you do anything when he was blamed for being the Heir of Slytherin just for talking a snake into backing off? What about the time when ole Luci's son, Draco created those buttons just to degrade my son even more? What about giving the bullys well-deserved punishment instead of punishing the victims unfairly? What about doing something when someone informs you of suspicious activity instead of dismissing that as foolish nonsense? Why make Harry do all of the heroic work instead of giving him a break?"

Minerva felt all of the colour draining from her face as her frightened state exacerbated. Lucius felt as though he needed to change into a clean set of trousers when his name was mentioned. Severus felt as though his black hair was turning gray when Lily (making sure to show him her emerald-green eyes) turned her glare on him.

"And you!" Lily shouted in Severus' face, pointing a finger as well. "You treated my son like an exact copy of James before getting to know the real him. You never tried to get to know Harry at all. Harry even informed me that you turned a blind eye over Draco and his pals bullying Harry, and for sabotaging his potions assignments and what did you do? You just let Draco and his pals off with undeserved lenience while punishing Harry and my godson, Neville Longbottom. While James may have pranked you back in our Hogwarts days, at least James never wanted you dead, while you wanted him and my son dead. That's not a sign of being a good friend to me at all, Severus, and you should be ashamed of yourself for holding that spiteful grudge. The fact that you allowed bullying to happen to Harry especially, that ultimately made you a hypocrite."

Severus felt his limbs stiffen because he never wanted to see the look on Lily's face, especially her eyes glaring right into his black ones. Lily turned her attention to Lucius (who was turning ghost-white in terror).

"You even allowed your own son to bully my son, you filthy pile of hippogriff manure," Lily growled at the Malfoy patriarch. "A real parent doesn't do that, they try to be a good example for their children. You even slipped a dark and dangerous object into an innocent child's hands just to wipe out any muggle-born wizard or witch. Worst of all, you even had the bloody nerve to try and kill my son in retaliation for him tricking you into freeing your house elf. You don't even deserve one anyway because you treat them like a slave while ignoring that house elves have feelings, too. Heck, you even threatened the members of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to have a hippogriff being sentenced to death just because your own son insulted it since he didn't pay attention to the warning of what would happen if one were to insult hippogriffs. You even threatened the school governors into sacking Albus as headmaster, which was justified since he left Harry to deal with the whole Chamber of Secrets fiasco on his own. But that's beyond the point, you still threatened the other governors instead of doing something about it."

Lucius had been cowering the entire time Lily ripped his arse for his actions. He never thought he'd see the day a muggle-born witch would do what she did to him just now. Lily turned her attention to Madam Pomfrey.

"And how did you not notice any signs that my son was abused?" Lily angrily asked, before ranting. "Harry's been to the hospital wing at least once a year, so you should've realized that something about him was off, especially at the start of each year. Rather than trust your instincts, you decided to take the shitty route in obeying the ole coot's not-so-wise instructions. Minerva even decided to go the same route despite being James' godmother!"

Minerva and Poppy were cowering themselves when they heard Lily using profanity. It was very rare to come across Lily in the state she was currently in and if anybody were to be on the receiving end of it, that meant they screwed up big time. Cornelius started cowering when Lily turned her glare on him.

"How can you even be fine with accepting bribes and slandering my son in the Daily Prophet?" Lily growled at the terrified minister. "Some of the proposals I came up with before Halloween in 1981 were on the verge of being accepted, I know it because Amelia informed me of them. The anti-reason none of them have been put into effect is because you were foolish to accept bribes from the corrupt ministry workers. That's the only explanation why none of my proposals never became law. You even have the bloody nerve to slander Harry in the Daily Prophet, knowing damn well that Voldemort indeed returned to power. Did you even consider the fact that Harry was looking out for our world? No, because you chose to be paranoid and treated him with just as much contempt as most of Hogwarts."

"I even tried telling you about the treatment I get at the Dursleys, minister," Harry snapped at the minister. "Before my third year. You just dismissed that and assumed that we were fond of each other deep down. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon made it clear to me the last fourteen seemingly-eternal years that they didn't want me at all. None of the teachers nor the officials at my primary school did a damn thing about my treatment, even though they're trained to look for signs of such treatment. I even have a suspicion that my uncle bribed them to keep quiet and let my cousin and his gang off without retribution, while unjustly punishing me."

"And now for you, Umbitch!" Lily sneered at the toad of a woman before shouting. "You had the nerve to declare my son as a liar, then you make him write sentences that say 'I must not tell lie' with a bloody blood quill. That left scars on the back of his hand and you even assumed that he deserved to be punished when clearly that wasn't the damn case. Then you gave him a lifelong quidditch ban over a case of standing up for himself and permanently confiscating his broomstick. You're not even the head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, so you giving my son that unfair lifelong quidditch ban was inappropriate. Harry even told me that Vincent Crabbe whacked him on the back of his head with a beaters club and what do you do? You just gave him the light punishment of writing lines. You even tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry just to get information out of him."

The eight adults before Harry and Lily were cowering even more when Lily finished ripping them a new one. But they knew Harry and Lily were far from finished because Lily whispered something into Harry's ear. With a smirk on his face, Harry got up and approached Lucius.

"You first, Luci!" Harry decided, before calling, "Dobby!"

Once the house elf appeared beside Harry, he whispered something into Dobby's ear. Then the house elf pointed his index fingers at the Malfoy patriarch. Dobby started giving Lucius electrocutions for fifteen seconds straight, causing Lucius' long pale-blonde hair to stand up on it's end. Then Lily pointed her wand at the top of Albus' pointy hat and whispered a spell to prevent the other adults from hearing the incantation. The pointy hat stood up and started squirting some kind of lemon-yellow jelly. Once it hit the floor, it began morphing into three life-sized lemon drops complete with arms, legs and a face (which was obviously angry).

"I can't believe you'd suck on us like candy, you sick man!" one of the lemon drops cried in Albus' face. "Now it's our turn to suck on you."

Dumbledore tried screaming in terror, but his mouth didn't seem to want to work. The three gigantic lemon drops began sucking on the ole coot like he was candy. Then Harry pointed his wand somewhere above Severus' head and whispered an incantation. Severus looked up in time to see, to his horror, a warm shower nozzle that began spraying warm shower water. Snape could tell that he wasn't allowed to change out of his black robes because every time he tried, his hands would experience some kind of excruciating pain. Then Harry conjured up a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap, with the shampoo squirting onto the top of Snape's long, greasy black hair. Then Harry enlarged the bar of soap before it began rubbing itself all over Severus. It didn't take long before the greasy git was totally engulfed in the soapsuds.

"See, Severus," Lily mocked before explaining to him. "It's very important to have good personal hygiene. It never would've taken long to do."

Then Lily pointed her wand at Minerva and the stern head of Gryffindor gasped when she heard Lily speaking the transfiguration spell. Minerva transformed into her cat animagus unwillingly (while the rope around the deputy head made sure to prevent her from escaping) and Lily conjured a tiny bag of catnip and stuck it to the back of Cat McGonagall. That caused the 'cat' to go crazy as the scent reached it's nose. Then Harry cast a spell to brand the words 'bumbling idiot' onto Cornelius' forehead in retaliation for his slandering Harry. Then Lily cast a hallucination charm on Madam Pomfrey to make her see zombies of dead hospital patients, making the nurse scream in terror. Then Harry and Lily turned their attention to Dolores, with a smirk containing special contempt on their faces.

"We have something wonderful for you, Umbitch!" Lily sneered. "And Harry has something to make it easier."

Harry cast a charm to make the evil toad hear hoofbeats, frightening the toad. Umbridge looked all around looking for the centaurs or hippogriffs. Then Lily cast a spell to make invisible hooves kick or whack the toad mercilessly. The chaos lasted for fifteen minutes and moments afterwards, Amelia and the other aurors showed up to arrest the seven incompetent adults, read them their rights and took them into ministry custody.

"There's more, sweetheart!" Lily told her son as she held an arm out. "Grab hold of my arm and I'll apparate us to our next destination."

Harry nodded his head obediently before doing as instructed. Seconds later, they appeared outside the entrance to Gringotts. Upon walking into the main lobby, a familiar goblin spotted Harry and Lily (who recognized the goblin as Griphook), and approached them.

"We'll show you and Harry the way, Lily," Griphook informed. "The other bounty hunting goblins brought them back moments ago."

As Harry and Lily followed Griphook, Harry raised an eyebrow in confusion because he was wondering who 'them' was. It was a few minutes later when he found out. In a Gringotts holding cell stood Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Cousin Dudley, all terrified. Lily pointed her wand to cast some charms to where only the Dursleys could hear her voice magnified, then she pointed her wand near her mouth as if to speak into a microphone.

"YOU THREE ARE WORTHLESS, BLOODY, PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS!" Lily spoke in an angry tone, her voice in the cell was loud to the point where the Dursleys were cowering in utter fear. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ABUSED AND NEGLECTED MY SON EVER SINCE ALBUS DUMPED HIM ON YOUR DOORSTEP. USING HIM LIKE A SLAVE AND AS A HUMAN PUNCHING BAG, PUNISHING HIM UNJUSTLY NO MATTER HOW SMALL THE INFRACTION, LEAVING HIM ALONE AND FRIENDLESS, AND LOCKING HIM IN A CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS? I EVEN GOT A NOTE FROM GRIPHOOK MENTIONING THAT ALBUS HAD BEEN GIVING YOU MONEY FOR 'HARRY'S WELL-BEING' AS HE PUT IT AND WAS USING THE POTTER FAMILY MONEY, BUT YOU THREE SPENT THE MONEY ON YOURSELVES AND LEFT MY SON IN THE DUST. THE TOTAL DEBT ADDS UP TO FIFTEEN MILLION GALLEONS, NOW YOU'LL BE REAPING WHAT YOU'VE SOWN. IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE ALBUS WILL BE JOINING YOU THREE IN THE GRINGOTTS PRISON MINES SOON."

Then the other goblins unlocked the cell, tied the Dursleys up and ordered them to walk to the mines (some of the goblins would poke them with spears if they dawdled). The Dursleys cried for mercy, which fell on deaf ears. Harry and Lily left Gringotts and over to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour for some ice cream, where Lily gave her son another hug (and Harry hugging his mother).

"It's time we catch up on our missed bonding moments, sweetheart," Lily informed her son. "We can go out into Muggle London if you'd like!"

"I'd love to, mum," said Harry ecstatically. "If it also means we'd forget about our world for a while."

So Harry and his mother got up, paid for their ice cream and left Diagon Alley through The Leaky Cauldron to go out into Muggle London. Now that everyone involved in ruining Harry his childhood and most of his Hogwarts days had been taken care of, peace was beginning to restore throughout Wizarding Britain. Hogwarts was not only back to it's original purpose of providing a safe, learning environment, but now the Ministry of Magic was in the process of getting de-corrupted. Things were starting to look up for once.

The End!

Author's note: Another one-shot completed, and my longest one yet in this series. Also my first one-shot in the series where Umbridge wasn't the only one portrayed in a bad light. I thought about having Rita appear in here, but Lily wouldn't have known where Rita was (given her status as an unregistered animagus), as she could've been anywhere. But the locations of the other adults wizards were easier for Lily to pinpoint. Which girl should Harry be paired with in the next one-shot? Please let me know in a review or a PM, happy reading!